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anxiouskilljoy · 18 days

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being best friends with natasha romanoff

.....with a little bit of clint

warnings: close friends, mental illness, physical illness/hurt, swearing, alcohol/drunkenness, bickering, humorous gunshots

please note: hopefully this will be part of my reader insert universe for mcu.....but can deff be read as a stand alone :)

literal ride or dies

its too easy to be around each other

comfortable silence BUT ALSO hyperspeed talking

deffoooooooo share a bed ALL THE TIME

after a while the public deffo thinks you're a couple

like no just really close friends

and not in the way historians descri-

encourage each other to keep up with self-care like food, drink, sanitation etc

"have you done your skincare yet?" "no-" "we're doing it right now"

"have you eaten breakfast today?" "no I haven't really had ti-" "that's crazy because I made you some"

first port of call for drama

whether that's SHIELD, dating, avengers, press, overhearing + eavesdropping corrupt politicians

iconic pap pics of you two out and about the town brunching + lunching in NYC

sit together at mealtimes, no matter where: avengers tower/compound, press junkets, events

you pick up certain phrases in Russian like: for gods sake, bitch, i hate you, shut up, idiot, don't die, thank you, goodnight, eat up

not being scared of her like lots of other ppl seem to be

scary dog privileges LOL

you are one of the few people who she feels she needs to have around if she wants to get properly drunk

she doesn't like the vulnerability that comes with intoxication

having to be super elaborate and careful if planning a surprise for one another because well, hello? super spies alert! dUH

karaoke queeeeeeen but its a rare sight

(i use scarletts songs from sing LMAOOOOO)

CONSTANTLY bickering and insulting each other

shout at each other alot

"rlAAAGHHHGHHHHr"

"AHGGGGGGGHHHAGH"

"listen to ME"

*high pitch screaming*

*tackles into nearest surface*

napping on each other

a head on a shoulder

legs on a lap

clint is involved in hang outs: either as 1) a sassy king or 2) a pathetic loser boy or 3) a Mr grumpypants

immediately looking at one another across rooms or tables if something crazy is said or happens

being one of the few who can make her crack a broad genuine smile on tv interviews or other pr events with your antics or jokes or raw realness

“I ain’t never seen two pretty be-”

***GUNSHOTS***

the whole theory fell apart

If there’s videos or pictures of you two talking, ppl always wanna know what was being said and wanting to know your conversations

very secure in the friendship

like you can go a while without seeing each other or specifically hanging out and it makes no difference

help each other with any mental difficulties you may have

physical too

the pair of you have a top secret and I mean TOP SECRET NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT collection of collaborations on rap songs you both wrote and recorded.

it is literal FIRE but it shall smoulder underground forever and never see the light of day

she is obviously super badass on the recordings and effortlessly cool

like she speaks so calmly and softly

but the words are icy daggers

okay idk what this is but here you go. dont ask. please. i need to go to bed. i didn't think tasha as a best friend would (de?)volve into having secretly recorded rap songs with her wtaf.

P.S. HOW DOES TAGGING WORK WTF

-killjoy ;)

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natalie rushman #natalia alianovna romanova #natalia romanova #natalia romanoff #black widow #the black widow #clint barton #hawkeye #natasha romanoff platonic #how do tags work

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anxiouskilljoy · 18 days

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this is honestly one of the best bruce wayne takes I have EVER seen.

for fanfic writers and others alike, this is literally the best take.

I would also like to add that the possible cool next steps for the Waynes/Batmans/batfam would be to basically kickstart the dc's (or at least batverse's) socialist, communist, or anarchist revolution.

obviously this heavy redistribution of wealth, giving the power back to the workforce (THE PEOPLE), proving competitors wrong about their lies they tell to get a smidge of profit, investing in education/infrastructure/healthcare/sustainable practice is not the first of its kind or indeed the only of its kind.

A white, rich, powerful, famous, influential, charming man of the "western" world doing these things would bring to light the billions of other people doing things on a smaller/different scale to take down the imperialist, fascist, colonial, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, ableist, monstrosity that is amerikkka and the "western" world's empire of capitalism and the suchlike.

I'm talking having heavy conversation and legal works with Gordon to defund, reform, and dismantle the GCPD (that eventually spreads globally). I'm talking affecting laws and policies with what he can, with who he can, for the people that can't. Working with the people, for the people, and BECAUSE OF the people. I'm talking funding and defending movements not portrayed properly in the media. I'm talking doxing white-collar-criminals, and funding investigative reports for marginalised people. I'm talking reclaiming land with indigenous people, for indigenous people.

And this isn't some white saviour shit. I don't want this to be that. He makes sure HE is not the focus, while somehow simultaneously keeping up the brucie playboy persona. Obviously overtime this is harder to do. but whatever, this is fiction, he does it. he's batman for crying out loud.

Because that's the whole point isn't it? Redistributing power, money, "luxuries" and ultimately, attention, care, and love. Bruce is the vehicle. The people around him and who came before him are the driving force, and they help/direct bruce with what needs to be done.

not JUST for amerikkka, but anywhere and everywhere the world needs.

And as for Batman? he's a literal vigilante. now in an ideal world the no-killing rule wouldn't exist, but in an ideal world it wouldn't have to exist, because there wouldn't need to be a batman AT ALL.

Furthermore, I would like to think that batman focuses more on what his alter ego is doing rather than beating the lowlife criminals to a pulp, and do what dirtywork needs to be done that bruce wayne would end up in jail for and not be able to do anything else for the movement. like helping radicals or movements or protests and dealing with armies/militaries/etc when the uprising comes.

okay im gonna have to stop writing because this is taking a life of it's own. i hope people catch my drift. ty @mckinlily for inspiring whatever the hell this is.

P.S. i am not an expert on dc or geo-political politics or ideologies. I would like to be though!!!!!

-killjoy ;)

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

#how does simping over a man turn into pouring your hopes and dreams for a better future for everyone vicariously through him?#whoops

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anxiouskilljoy · 2 months

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Plans.....

plans. literally just VAGUE - very VAGUE - plans for what I hope to write about in the future. future is a loose term.

marvel cinematic universe reader insert: "WILD"

my aim is to have a chronology of events, but each piece/fic/chapter/part could technically be read as a standalone

therefore this universe will technically be infinite

canon-compliant FOR THE MOST part - but major divergence + tweaks to accommodate the readers character

majorly self-indulgent LOL

snippets of other fandoms (dont worry mcu is still central - you can pick and choose what you want to read)

okay ill jot down some pretty integral aspects if you really want to know, but I highly rec avoiding spoilers.

PLS STILL LOOK AT TW THOUGH

***FIC SPOILERS AHEAD***

TW - angst, sibling separation, death, murder, mental/physical illness, pain, trauma, violence, near-death experiences, on the run from the law, toxic relationships, torture, heartbreak, alcohol, drugs, manipulation, illegal activities, catastrophes, sex, end of the world scenarios, marriage, if its in the mcu - it will be here.

key aspects -shieldagent!reader -avenger!reader -famous!reader -y/n has animal abilities/powers that basically mean they can communicate with animals, use animal abilities (e.g. flight, heightened senses etc) and shapeshift into animals -this can be "switched on and off" at will but y/n tends to have it "off" by default -y/n revealed to be long lost sibling of Tony Stark - BUT no one has ANY idea about this, not even y/n or tony until it is discovered -long story short y/n was separated at birth. and some science. it will make sense. i promise. it explains everything - even why you dont look/behave like you are a stark. just trust me. it will make sense. -stark!reader -classic avengerfic staples like: communal living, found family, missions, fame, illegal activities, near-death experiences, trauma, backstories, like i said, if its in the mcu - it will be here -multiple romantic/sexual relationships for reader -multiple names/aliases -other fandoms WILL be integrated - however they are just additions -i think thats all i shall reveal 4 now...i'll get more specific along the way...

***FIC SPOILERS OVER***

N E wayz. its gonna be a big project. i hope u stick with me.

ANY tips, advice, expertise, encouragement, know-how, guidance, etc, would be greatly appreciated!!

-killjoy ;)

#avengers #avengers x reader #avenger!reader #famous!reader #mcu reader insert #mcu #marvel mcu

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