bealynnblog

[bealynnblog]

Hello, today I slept for 12 hours, laid in bed for another 13 hours on my phone, got up to take a piss, drank a Danimal, and am now making ramen in the microwave using 3 day old water from a repurposed McDonald's cup while I watch anime on my Xbox. What's your excuse?

#is this a cry for help? #fueled by ramen #college #dorm life #i probably need help #i also need a shower #for my next act i plan to fight god

[bealynnblog]

I may have fallen deep into the Humans are Space Orcs thread. It got me thinking about how humans have Total War. Like, the entire populace is at war, not just the army. IDK, I just love the idea of when aliens attack earth they realize that humans are MUCH more invested in this war.

Grak'on shoved the butt of their plasmar rifle into the back of the fleshling before them. The war against their kind was progressing slowly, and now the Gent'ik needed to try a different tactic. The fleshy 'humans' they had captured were harmless members of the industrial class, and the Gent'ik wanted information on the human weapons. Finally reaching the warlord's chamber of war, Grak'on rattled their exoskeleton before shoving the fleshies through the open port.

"So," Warchief Kren'if'te clicked, as the translator formed the barbaric, groaning language of the humans. "You must have realized by now that your lives are forfeit to the almighty Gent'ik, the information you carry may grant you honorable passing into Raishanna. What say you, worms?"

By seemingly unspoken consensus one human shuffled forward, an unknown energy sparking in their weak, exposed duel eyes. "It's information you seek, yes?" It spoke, it's voice unnaturally smooth. Grak'on rattled quietly and began linking to the human infobase to search through what remained of the humans self sabatoged data. The look of those eyes had them feeling... Off.

The human continued on, uncaring of the heavily armed guards beside them. "Then you'll be sure to find interest in my job. I am a scientist, responsible for research and study." Kren'if'tik swiped it's third claw through the air, signaling the fleshie on. Seeming unsure if itself, the human turned to it's companions. Only when they tilted their heads, Grak'on recognized this as a nod, did it continue.

"Well it would be important to then ask what a scientist does during war." Grak'on shifted back, grabbing it's plasmar again. It now recognized the human emotion as anger, or hate even. A strange crackling noise filled the air even as the human began to grin, hydrogen based liquid streaming from the duel eyes. "We scientists," Grak'on looked to the other guard in panic, realizing that they had not bothered to search the humans for weapons. There was supposed to be no need, they were not soldiers! They leveled their plasmar on the group but without orders from the Warchief... "Make weapons."

Kren'if'tik clicked it's mandibles once as the realization set in. The order to fire was only half finished when the source of the crackling energy was revealed. The humans revealed great, sparking orbs of energy. The tinted glow was enough to recognize it as raw plasmar. Our own weapons, Grak'on thought as the human 'grenades' went off.

[bealynnblog]

I just heard a guy drive buy in a loud ass car and shout "HOW BIG IS YOUR PENIS?!" I look out the window and it's a group of like 5 chicks with this one dude who's posing like he just won the Olympics.

Just

[bealynnblog]

Welcome to Australia...

Where an already endangered species is on the brink of functional extinction...

Oh, and 500 million animals unique to this country have already lost their lives, upon homes that have been destoryed and lives lost of people as well...

I mean... we're only living in a literal inferno...

415 fires. Fuck are we dying...

Oh yeah and people are just fleeing to the damn ocean, you know?

Do you want to know what Hell on Earth looks like..?

Because there it is in all it's unfiltered, firey rage...

There it is... my home from space...

This is only the beginning. Our country has not only entered a new decade, it seems a new dawning era as well, because this flaming apocalypse doesn't show any sign of stopping any time soon.

And you know what saddens me? I've never seen Australian tragedies trending here on this website. I mean it's been going on for months and only now does it seem to really be getting recognized, even if it is only at #9.

And I'm going to be honest with you here - the internet, and media in general is so American centric, this website being no exception. You'd think that an entire continent being on fire for several months with devastating consequences would have more recognition, but no, it really doesn't. The most notes I've ever seen on a post about the Australian fires is at least a few thousand, and that's about it.

So just... please. If you can, with this post or any other post in regards to the fires going on down here, reblog. Because the only thing that should be spreading like wildfire, is a post about a burning country...

[bealynnblog]

I just wanted to say. The blog looks like it's run by a 30 year old soccer mom. I'm 18 and ready to die. I WILL answer aNYTHING

#ask me anything #ill show you how to do it #please #I'm lonely

[bealynnblog]

Protip

DID YOU KNOW?? THAT EGGS CAN BE MADE IN A WAFFLE MAKER?? AND THAT. IF YOU HAVE A MINI WAFFLE MAKER. EGG WAFFLES ARE SANDWICH SIZE?!

#protip #life hack #eggs #food #cooking #egg waffle sandwich

[bealynnblog]

How to save lives

Hey! I just really wanted to give a shout-out to the Australia bushfires. I know I have one follower and everyone's seen it but still. Want to donate? Here's how:

https://donate.hsi.org

Every bit helps

#donate #australia #save lives

[bealynnblog]

How to make devilled eggs:

I really wanted devilled eggs since I just boiled some the other day. Want to have some? Here's how:

First off, you only REALLY need the eggs, mayo, salt and pepper.

You really SHOULD have the above, ground mustard (it's a spice, you'll find it in a spice container) garlic powder (if you're into that) and paprika.

If you really wanna be extra, you CAN have pickles (not the sandwich kind, they're too sweet) fresh cilantro, or you can substitute the egg yolks for avacado paste. (If you do that, you're white and I hate you(those two things are unrelated for legal reasons)).

1.) You need boiled eggs. Hard boiled too, they can't be soft yolked.

Yes

No

2.) You must halve all of the eggs. Try not to use a serrated knife. It won't ruin anything, but it'll leave lines in the egg whites. (See above pic for good egg knife)

3.) Scoop out all the yolks using a spoon (they should pop out) and put them in a bowl. Mix them with mayo till the consistency is as below. Unlike the photo, you should mix it with a fork and keep at it till the lumps are gone. Or! If you feel like being a total degenerate, you can throw away the yolks and slap some cReamy avacado paste in a bowl. mmmmmmno

3.) Season to taste! This is when you add the salt pepper, mustard, and garlic. This is also where you can add the pickles if you like. Everyone has a different preference. If you have a few minutes, add one seasoning at a time till you find the right amount of each

4.) Scoop the mix back into the egg whites. (If you're feeling extra, you can cut the corner off of a Ziploc and squeeze it back in. Makes it look like yellow shits to me but whatever you prefer). I usually use a small spoon for this

5.) Garnish the shit out of that bitch. THIS is when you sprinkle on the paprika. If you added it before, you'll have the same taste, but the color'll be off. If you have cilantro, you can put a single leaf on each egg shit (cause if you're using cilantro, you're being extra). It should come out looking like this:

Or this if you were extra (they used green onions)

Or this if you're a bitch (that's cilantro)

So yeah! Enjoy!!

#food #eggs #avacadoifyoureabitch #how to

[bealynnblog]

How to boil eggs

Boiled eggs are an easy snack. Whip them up with some mayo, you've got egg salad! Devilled eggs are really good too... Anyways, boiling eggs. Here's how:

1.) Use older eggs. The newer the egg is, the harder it will be to peel. Older eggs shrink a little bit inside, making more space between the peel and the egg white. Using older eggs won't guarantee that the eggs will peel easy, just that it won't be as difficult as fresh eggs.

2.) Pop your eggs into a pot. Set them in, don't drop them. Even a micro-fracture can cause the egg to explode while boiling. (I actually like eating the exploded eggs, but they're really hard to peel.)

3.) Fill the pot with water! You don't need the pot to be FULL full, just put in enough that all the eggs are covered by at least a cm of water. (1/2 an inch ish). If any of the eggs float, toss them. Floating eggs are rotten.

4.) Boil the water! Stir the eggs a few times while it's boiling. It'll keep the yolks in the middle of the eggs

5.) After the water's been boiling a few minutes, turn off the heat and drain the eggs. Be careful, steam burns are incredibly painful. (Steam also fogs up your glasses and is just the worst form of water if you ask me.)

6.) Once the eggs are drained, pour ice and cold water into the pot. It's called an ice bath and it makes the eggs much easier to peel. Let them sit in the water for 10ish minutes. You just need them to be cold. (Pic because boiled eggs in ice is kinda a funny concept?!!)

7.) Peel your eggs. Crack em against the table, and peel the shell off. Rinse them after peeling to remove any extra shell. ALSO!! There will be a membrane on your eggs! It comes right off. It's really helpful for getting of smaller bits of the shell, but don't worry if it rips. You don't want to eat it anyways.

Enjoy your boiled youth!

[bealynnblog]

How to use a female condom

A what?! Yep, they exist. Want to try one? Here's how:

1.) Only one of the rings is sealed. Twist the sealed end and insert into the vagina. The open ended ring should be hanging out a little bit. (The inner, sealed ring helps prevent the condom from slipping out during sex)

2.) Make sure your partner uses lube! Using a dry condom can cause tears!

3.) When removing the condom, twist the open end to keep the semen from leaking out.

A few general tips:

- Do NOT use with another condom!! Having your partner wear one while you have one causes chafing and can tear both condoms!

- This type of condom is really helpful both for women who find sex painful due to too much vaginal friction, and for flaccid men who find it difficult to put on a condom.

- This condom can be put on up to 8 hours in advance! Pop it in while you're getting ready for your date and poof! You're good for round 1!

#how to #safe sex #condom

[bealynnblog]

How to write a check

This isn't used as often these days, but it's still a good thing to know for once you become the one buying from the highschool fundraisers rather than selling. Here's how:

1.) Write the date. It's at the very top of your check, and one of the first things to be done. The format is usually ____20__. Fill in the blanks with the two digit month and day, then fill in the year.

2.) "Pay to the order of" is bank talk for who's getting the money. When someone asks "who do I make it out to," this is where they write that info. Just fill in this blank with whoever is getting the money

3.) The amount. This will go in two different places on the check, to insure it's not changed after you write it. First, put it in the box marked $. It's best to put the dollar number in full size and the cent amount (usually 00) at half size with a line under it. This prevents your 100.00 check from becoming a 1000.00 check.

On the line marked dollars, write out the amount. The most common format is: # dollars and #/100. In this case: One hundred and fifty dollars and 99/100.

Fill any extra space on the line with squiggles. It will prevent anyone from altering your check.

4.) Memo. This line just tells the bank what the check is for. You can even leave it blank, though that's really not recommended. If you're buying from a fundraiser, then put fundraiser in the memo line. If you're tithing to a church, put tithe in the memo line.

5.) Sign it! Make sure to sign the same way you did on your driver's license. It will help prevent fraud if you keep a consistent signature.

There you have it! If you don't need a check anymore, be sure to write void across it in big letters to prevent anyone from cashing it. Throwing it away isn't enough (though shredding it might be).

Go spend your money

#how to #financial

[bealynnblog]

How to do laundry

First, here's what you absolutely need:

- Detergent (laundry sauce is an acceptable term)

Here's what you really should have:

- Detergent (it's the soap btw)

- Dryer sheets (these get rid of static)

Here's what you might have from your parents:

- Detergent

- Fabric softener (takes the stiff/crunch out of your clothes. Makes towels reeaal soft)

- Dryer sheets

- Scented laundry beads (mmmm smell good)

Now, if you have fabric softener, you don't really need dryer sheets. (I recommend using just dryer sheets or both tho ngl)

Okay! There are two types of machines: front loaders (door on front) and top loaders (door on top). Most machines will have the drawer* but some top loaders won't.

0.) If you have the scented beads, put them in before you put your clothes in the machine. They go right into the machine, drawer* or no drawer.

1.) Put your clothes in the machine. Just chuck em in there. You're off to a great start.

2.) Find the drawer.* It's usually found on the front of the machine near the top. If it's a locking drawer, here's how to open it. Grip the handle and slide the tab (you'll feel the tab) to the right.

3.) The drawer usually has three compartments. You'll only NEED to worry about the big one. That's where you put the soap in. (If you're short on cash, you can put half the recommended amount of detergent in. It won't smell as much like soap, but it'll last longer) If you have fabric softener, you'll put it in the labled compartment. (The third one's usually for bleach, but you only really want to use that with white laundry(prewash is bullshit who washes before they wash??))

3b.) If your machine has no drawer*, just pour the soaps and stuffs into the machine.

4.) Close the drawer and choose the settings. The way this works varies a LOT based on the machine, so I can't give accurate pics. Here's a rundown though:

- Only use hot water for white laundry. Hot water makes the colors run because it bleeds the dye out of clothes.

- You don't really need to use the towel setting for towels, it's really long. Normal works fine.

- If what you're washing is delicate (sheer/lace/silk/dress clothes) use cold water! Heat melts/scrunches lace and melts sheer fabric. Also, because of color running, it's safer to use cold water for dress clothes in general.

- If it's not white or dressy, use the generic settings.

5.) Hit start. Wash em. Read a book while you wait. Idk, I'm not your mom.

6.) Once it's done washing, you can put everything in the dryer. This is also where you add the dryer sheets if you have them (LADIES. DO NOT PUT BRAS IN THE DRYER. The heat ruins the elastic in the straps. Let them air dry) You can use high heat for just about everything. Use low heat for delicates, or just let them air dry. Fold everything right away! Leaving things in the dryer makes them wrinkle. (Also finished laundry good smell nice feel warm)

Finally:

- You CAN wash colors with whites, but only if you use cold water. Still, it's not recommended.

- Wash new clothes in cold water the first few times. It helps the colors set so they won't bleed as much.

- Sort clothes by color and material. Most colored clothes can be washed together, but sweaters and t-shirts and jeans all dry at different speeds. For max efficiency, wash them separately.

- If your loads are small, you can wash either jeans or sweaters with towels. They dry about as quickly as each other.

- Don't put laundry away wet! You'll end up with moldy, wrinkled clothes.

- Make sure to empty the lint filter from the dryer each time you use it! A buildup can cause a fire.

- (Front loaders only) Check inside the baffle (the rubber seal on the inside of the washer door) after each load. Socks tend to get stuck inside.

- Check your pockets before you wash your clothes! Nothing's worse than finding melted cough drops and gum in your pockets. (or pieces of wet, shredded cash :'( )

- When washing sweatshirts/sweatpants, tie the hood strings/drawstrings together. It will prevent the string from escaping.

- When washing clothes with patches (anything stitched on, decorative or a repair), wash them inside out. It will help keep the patch from tearing off.

Go clean them clothes my children

#laundry #how to #clothes #washing

[bealynnblog]

How to use their/there/they're

This one's a little tricky cause there's three to remember. Here's how:

Their is used to show possession of something to say their *object* shows that they (person that their refers to) own said object. For example: "I want to know their name." "Oh no! They forgot their phone!"

There is used to give location/existence(confusing, I know). It can be used like "They live over there," or "I think I left my phone there!" However, there can also be used as "there is/there are." In this manner, there is used as proof of existence. IE: "There are nine cats." "There is a bug!" In this case, there doesn't provide a location, it just makes the cats/bug exist. (It's usually followed up with a location though. "There are nine cats outside the door," "There is a bug on the wall.")

Finally, they're is the contraction of they are. It's used to describe the 'they' being discussed. "They're doing this." "They're still live... Somehow."

Now in order to use these properly, you're going to have to remember the difference between their and there at the very least. For starters, try using 'they are' where you're guessing. If it doesn't fit, you'll need to remember the difference between there/their to get the correct answer.

"They are (✔️) going to take they are (❌) phone they are (❌)?!"

"They're (✔️) going to take their (✔️) phone their (❌)?!"

"They're going to take their phone there?!"

Memorization is key with this one. Good luck!

[bealynnblog]

How to use your/you're

Ever wondered? Here's how:

Your is used to show possession of something that belongs to whoever's being addressed. "Your clothes are still in the wash!" Or "can I have your phone number?"

You're is the contraction of you are. Use this to describe a person. "You're really cute" or "I think you're going to win this!"

If you're ever in doubt, try to use you are instead. If it works, use you're! If not, then your it is!

"You are (✔️) really going to bring you are (❌) dog to class?!"

"You're really going to bring your dog to class?!"

Now go and do it right!

#grammar #you're/your

[bealynnblog]

How to use an Iron

Most dorms have an iron available to check out as well as an ironing board in the laundry room. Here's how to use them:

1.) Find a hole. It's usually located around the top of the handle, but different models vary the location.

2.) Put some water in it! If you're ironing a bunch of stuff, fill it right up to the fill line. When you finish, be sure to dump the excess. Mold's a bitch to get out of an iron. You can use straight up tap water so long as it's cold. NEVER use hot water. It sounds counter-intuitive to use cold water, but hot water has a higher mineral content than cold. Using hot water can put marks onto your clothes.

3.) Plug the iron in and rest it on its base. It will need some time to heat up. Make sure not to leave it laying on the metal side, you might start a fire!

4.) Once the iron is hot, the indicator light will turn on. Do NOT test the heat with your hand. Pressing the big button will make a steam burst. This is another way to test that the iron is hot, but it's also good for getting out tough wrinkles. Once it's hot, iron away! You can change the heat setting on the iron using the dial found (in this case) below the water hole. On older irons, this dial is between the handle and the water compartment. Make sure to use the right heat setting for the clothes you're ironing. You can find the materials listed on the tag of the clothing you plan to iron. Using too high a heat will melt your clothes!

Best of luck sprucing up for the big event!

#How to #Iron

[bealynnblog]

How to tie a tie

The most basic way to tie a tie:

Start with by pulling your collar straight. Dracula style. (If you're doing this without a collared shirt, I will smite you).

1.) You need to drape the tie around your neck upside down. That means the seam/tag should be facing up

2.) Criss cross the two ends of your tie, keeping the smol end on top

3.) Wrap the thicc tail of the tie back around the thin tail

4.) Without twisting the tie, tuck the wide end underneath the part about your neck, pulling it almost all the way through. Leave it a bit loose!

5.) Pull the protruding portion down through the loop you made earlier

Now you can put your collar back down, and get to that hot date/job interview!

[bealynnblog]

Need to know how it's done?

Hey! I've decided to start a 'How it's done' type site. Need to know how to do a thing? Ask here! I'll answer any request. Until then, I'll just be using the first how to _____ from the Google search bar. Ask away!