continuummermaid-blog

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period. 

(a photo series shot by sisters rupi and prabh kaur.  art direction by rupi kaur.)

i bleed each month to help make humankind a possibility. my womb is home to the divine. a source of life for our species. whether i choose to create or not. but very few times it is seen that way. in older civilizations this blood was considered holy. in some it still is. but a majority of people. societies. and communities shun this natural process. some are more comfortable with the pornification of women. the sexualization of women. the violence and degradation of women than this. they cannot be bothered to express their disgust about all that. but will be angered and bothered by this. we menstruate and they see it as dirty. attention seeking. sick. a burden. as if this process is less natural than breathing. as if it is not a bridge between this universe and the last. as if this process is not love. labour. life. selfless and strikingly beautiful. 

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No wonder I'm a fucking weirdo.

Weinerville is basically Candle Cove for 90s kids.

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I'm making the pattern

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I tell myself these lies like 

you're only creative when you're high and 

you'll never amount to anything in the end and

you aren't that pretty, don't pretend

#spilledink #jerkbrain

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tried to make a point yesterday that repetition was necessary in mathematics but got talked over. so, to make me stop thinking about how annoyed I am about the situation and get my point across:

repetition is necessary when studying mathematics. Not because practicing multiplication over and over again is useful, but because the mathematical concepts you learn over a myriad of classes will be used in different configurations to further your understanding of different types of mathematics. It is necessary because the repetition allows you to experience the depth of the concept as it builds on itself to flourish into a new idea. That depth is necessary for an innate understanding of a mathematical concept, an understanding of how these notions slip and flow into one another into a beautiful tangled web of numbers and symbols and words.

So yes, repetition is necessary in mathematics, because when you're doing math you use those same building blocks over and over to build new foundations to new ideas. 

QE motherfucking D.  

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Depression is weird and frustrating. It took me 26 years to be able to acknowledge it's presence vs lashing out because I felt weird and uncomfortable. While that means I can approach it rationally, telling it to fuck off and keep trudging through my day, that doesn't stop the symptoms.

I still want to sleep all day.

I'm easily frustrated

My attention is fickle 

Nothing is interesting or fun

Food is a chore

Life becomes overwhelming

I'm constantly told I'm a failure 

I begin to believe my efforts are futile

Depression whispers lies in my ears and crushes my dreams past recognition.

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Maaaan I'm so confused. I had a good day helping my mom pack and listening to the Stones and now I'm sitting in front of my computer having a panic attack? What gives brain. 

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trying to take deep breaths and relax after logging into my student loans account and having a full blown panic attack. No wonder millennials are settling for weed and entry level jobs. 

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at my last therapy appointment I told my therapist I'd never kill myself because then the rest of my family would too and we both just laughed and laughed. 

#Depression #therapy

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You encouraged me to raise my sword once more, a retired fighter returning to the field. So why did you go chopping off my arms? Dang, bro.

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Saw a therapist. Cried for the first time today in ages. She reminded me of my mom, if only my mom had learned how to be an adult. She told me my parents should not have had kids We laughed And I agreed And we laughed more. When I left the office, my mom smiled at me and told me heard me laugh

#depression #therapy #family

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I like the smell of citrus and a hand coming down too hard

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I guess its time to own up to how bad my anxiety has gotten. I find myself convinced that I can't leave the house by myself. Grocery shopping is done with my mom or friend. When I was working, that was my only socializing. Since moving, I have only seen a few friends and otherwise spend my time with my family.  I need to get a job, but talking to people is horrible. 

So it goes. 

#anxiety

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I hope you know how wonderful you are. When you're in the room, I believe in angels.

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what to do what to do

when the mind is split in two

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I found out I have a doppleganger--

she works at a gas station.

Fitting.

#words #spilled ink

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Doodlin'

#drawing #doodles #clowns #photoshop