derangedarchangel

[derangedarchangel]

So much

I feel so much

Too much

It's all too much

Anger, resentment, hate, sentiment

Where can I put it all down

Who can I give it all to?

-

Niara

[derangedarchangel]

Suicidal

happiness is a tricky thing

but then so is love

we could be happy doing simple things

reading,shopping,dancing

we could be happy doing big things

winning , travelling , breathing

breathing?

why did i say breathing

its a big thing

its a hard thing

to breathe

and to keep breathing

every heartbeat is a choice

not something natural

but a choice

when did it start

why is my life taking a toll

with every passing comment

a glance from someone

means an hour of thoughts

that ends in

"what if i died today?

will they cry for me"

I think about ending

just to feel something

..........................................

[derangedarchangel]

lost

[derangedarchangel]

That “leave me like everybody else did” line doesn't work on me, buh bye

[derangedarchangel]

Sky looked pretty.

Moon was with her.

#pictoral #sky #random aesthetic #love #life #thoughts #aesthetic #hurt.

[derangedarchangel]

It was never them or any of the others.

It was always me.

I was supposed to be there

For me.

-

Niara

[derangedarchangel]

I was not meant for people.

Only for trees ,leaves and sometimes the ocean.

-

Niara

[derangedarchangel]

Once

Just once

I want my presence to be sought out.

[derangedarchangel]

It's all coming together

To the way it should be

The way I always have been

Alone.

Surprisingly it doesn't hurt as much as it used to.

[derangedarchangel]

So how does it feel?

To know

To understand

That the reason you are hurting

The reason you've been hurting

Is you.

-niara

#poetry #spilled ink #pain #thoughts #writing #hurt

[derangedarchangel]

dear crush,

stop crushing me.

#own #text #thoughtcascades #showerthoughts #quote #quotes #writing #originalwords #poetry #literature #inspiring #spilled ink #prose

[derangedarchangel]

Link up my hair

cross legged in the carpet

smile while its raining

all through the night.

Its been like this for us

all through our ways

lies in our mirrors

walk to the beat of our hearts.

All of it echoes

on the walls of delusions

why humans stay

in an art of pretend.

[derangedarchangel]

grey

The phase of life when everything turns grey.

The world that was once black and white getting blurry day by day.

The lens through which you saw the blackness in the hearts and souls slowly turned out to be a mirror.

The strangles of your hair getting tighter as you hoped for a mercy that you never felt for the others.

[derangedarchangel]

It's said that every experience is meaningful. That it moulds you. Into who you are. But i cannot for the life of me feel the good in that existed in our pain. The way we moulded you and me , was it necessary? Are all experiences meaningful? Couldn't we live and be better if some never happened at all?

[derangedarchangel]

Be a strong christian.

[derangedarchangel]

[derangedarchangel]

“The problem was she wanted love so badly, she couldn’t tell it wasn’t love.”

— Leo Christopher