eglectic

[eglectic]

They say don’t tell people

About the pain you’ve been through

They’ll only use it against you

They’ll act like that’s what you deserve

There’s no happy ending

There’s just pretending

I don’t share my problems anymore

No I don’t really wanna get personal

Over the years I have built up a wall

My scars are still healing

I can’t be vulnerable

Heart on my sleeve

Did a lot of damage to me

Why would I share anything?

Why would I share my past or my grief

It’s kinda pointless unless I’m profiting

It’s not like it gives me anymore relief

People do judge me for it

That’s just how it is

There’s no happy ending

There’s just pretending

I don’t share my problems anymore

No I don’t really wanna get personal

Over the years I have built up a wall

My scars are still healing

I can’t be vulnerable

Rather not be seen or understood

Rather cry about doing what I know I should

Rather not feel a single emotion

Or think a single thought

Rather be blind or numb

Rather be rejected or forgotten

Rather take myself out of the game

And warm that bench

Rather pretend

I’m not hurt

While my teeth and fists are clenched

There’s no happy ending

There’s just pretending

I don’t share my problems anymore

No I don’t really wanna get personal

Over the years I have built up a wall

My scars are still healing

I can’t be vulnerable

Some of the worst things I’ve ever done

Were when I felt sorry for myself

Cursing my own mind and my genetics

All the decisions I regretted

All the mistakes I wish I could forget

Drove me to seek pleasure

At the nearest exit

To escape my personal hell

Seeking sweetness to help the bitter pills go down

So I can hide inside my pitiful shell

And carry all my shame around

There’s no happy ending

There’s just pretending

I don’t share my problems anymore

No I don’t really wanna get personal

Over the years I have built up a wall

My heart is still bleeding

I can’t be vulnerable

My heart is still bleeding

I can’t be vulnerable

Oh, I can’t bear another moment of life

Can’t stand another experience

I just want to hide

Just want to eat my feelings

And get high

I don’t want to be perceived

Even to myself

I want to lie

#me #photos of me #my life #music #my music #new music #vulnerable #saddest #sad songs #sad shit #sad girl summer #sad girl

[eglectic]

I don’t know what compels me to lay

In bed and play

Countless iMessage games

Don’t know what I’m seeking

Or what I’m keeping at bay

But when I open my eyes

Three hours la-ter

My legs feel unsta-ble

Deals done under the ta-ble

That’s just the sta-ple

Piercing my heart made of pa-per

Bound together but not any safer

Did you get what you came for?

I’m not broken, I’m torn

Furloughed and forlorn

All I see is a seashore

All I feel is a waveform

Silence like after a storm

Changed like a new born

Am I the same girl?

#my music #music #song #new song #my new song #Same Girl? #same girl

[eglectic]

After the first day of school, I stopped playing with dolls because “I’m a student now.”

And at 15, after reading about vegetarianism, I stopped eating meat for 5 years because it completely lost its appeal.

And now, again, I grew out of something that wasn’t serving me. Slowly, then all at once, like a tree being pulled out at the roots.

#me #photos of me #my life #reflection

[eglectic]

I look so good in long sweater dresses, and also I look great in long silky dresses.

#me #photos of me #selfie #my life #me lately #long dress

[eglectic]

I think my biggest mistake last year was not immediately joining the gym when I got to Ibiza.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d stay and felt nervous all around, but the gym brings me a sense of familiarity in addition to all the other benefits.

Here’s a lyric I wrote recently:

Big dog, big cat, big foot, and all the rest

Bigger is better, and you know that I’m the best

Inspired by Meg Thee Stallion’s Hiss. I performed the whole verse on my tiktok!

#me #photos of me #selfie #my life #gym selfie #tall girls

[eglectic]

I may have found a photographer to work with! We’ll see.

Been extremely motivated lately. I’ve been quite active on TikTok if you want to actually see what I’m up to on a regular basis and get to know me as a person and artist.

Omg I tried to link to I and does tumblr forbid linking to tiktok? Ahahaha wowww well you’ll probably not find my account then.

#me #photos of me #my life #chicago #portrait

[eglectic]

I hope I connect with a good photographer/videographer soon who I can collab with often.

#need to get back out into the city more again #me #photos of me #on stage #performance

[eglectic]

Wow, how busy did the rest of 2023 get. I got a new job that I enjoy profoundly. My birthday came and went. Plus, I have an impossible goal of making $100,000 through music this year. Lots to do!

These pics are cute but I need to book a proper photoshoot ASAP!

So much to do, so little time. But I’m so grateful for all the opportunities coming my way and the work I get to do in and out of the office.

The year is starting off successfully embodying my 2024 mantra — fortunate. I’m already learning and growing so much. It’s humbling and invigorating at the same time.

#me #photos of me #selfie #my life #happy new year #life update

[eglectic]

Finally exploring my style a bit.

This was such a fun outfit to wear.

I took so many photos in it, so more to come.

#me #photos of me #my life #galena #leather jumpsuit

[eglectic]

Good hair days must be documented

#me #photos of me #selfie #my life #archive

[eglectic]

#me #photos of me #my life #florida keys #bikini #swim suit #Barbie era or what

[eglectic]

More pictures from my last birthday celebration in January.

Again, so imperfect and I would even say somewhat unflattering. My hair’s wet and it’s not all perfectly posed, but these are some of my favorite photos from the last year. 🫶🏻

Such an amazing day all around. I love and my miss friends from these days also.

#me #photos of me #my life #swim suit #on a boat

[eglectic]

I would not post these on Instagram but I love this whole set of photos from this day.

I look so imperfect but to me these have so much life and they radiate fun.

One of the best days of my life 🤎

#me #photos of me #selfie #my life #personal

[eglectic]

I do love the cheerleader vibes I get when my hair is short and in a ponytail though!

#me #photos of me #selfie

[eglectic]

I got a new haircut and…

I don’t mind, I think I still look pretty but…

I asked for curtain bangs and layers, showed this picture:

And this is my before and after 💀

???

What happened to the original plot of the movie???

In Ibiza I got the best haircut of my life so far and this one I think was the worst. 🤣 I’m glad my hair is lush and healthy again but wtf seriously.

#me #photos of me #selfie #my life #haircut #new hair #haircut fail #curtain bangs and layers

[eglectic]

I’m such a summery girl but autumn colors do suit me.

#me #selfie #photos of me

[eglectic]

You really are the sexiest and most beautiful girl I have ever seen, I don't know how to explain it, but you have a unique grace, and it makes you look like an ancient Greek goddess.

Thanks. That’s very unexpected and nice.