evilelrond

[evilelrond]

Servant: My King, Elrond's been involved in another kidnapping.

Gil-Galad: Fuck!

Servant: This time he has taken the Dark Lord captive and-

Sauron: *Tied up and gagged*

Sauron: *Muffled shouting*

Maglor: He got you too? It's best not to fight it.

#Elrond is a menace #elrond #lotr elrond #elrond peredhel #evil elrond #EVIL ELROND AU #lotr #lord of the rings #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #silmarillion #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect quotes #maglor #lotr maglor #gilgalad #erenion gilgalad #sauron #lotr sauron #annatar #lotr annatar

[evilelrond]

Elrond: Why is killing someone so easy? Why don't they fight back?

Sauron: Kid, you didn't give them a chance.

#elrond #elrond peredhel #evil elrond #EVIL ELROND AU #lotr #lord of the rings #sauron

[evilelrond]

Elrond *explaining why it was perfectly alright to eat orc meat during the War of Wrath actually*: It’s not cannibalism! Technically-

Glorfindel: When you have to use the word technically you’re already in trouble!

#well technically #“I don't think that word means what you think it means Elrond.” #tolkien #silmarillion #lord of the rings #elrond peredhel #evil elrond #feral elrond #glorfindel #incorrect quotes

[evilelrond]

Sauron: This is the thirteenth time you've summoned me to sell your soul. Melkor wants to know where you keep getting these souls.

Elrond: I'll never tell.

#EVIL ELROND AU #elrond #evil elrond #elrond peredhel #lotr #lord of the rings #silmarillion

[evilelrond]

The wielders of the three rings all three had the opportunity to seize the one...

We know Galadriel and Gandalf's fears about how it would turn them into a second Sauron but I wonder what Elrond's dark side would have looked like? Elrond who twice in his life could have taken it. Once by force the other by nature of being its guardian had it been left in Rivendell. Is that part of the reason why he wouldn't have it stay in Rivendell? He was afraid of temptation or was he both wise and disinterested like Faramir.

[evilelrond]

Elrond: What would you say if I confessed to murdering a man?

Galadriel: Did you already dispose of the body?

Elrond: Hypothetically? Yes.

Galadriel: Is anyone going to find it?

Elrond: Hypothetically no.

Galadriel: Then it isn't my problem.

#AU - Evil Elrond #Celeborn we need to move NOW we need to have been gone yesterday #evil elrond #lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr #elrond #elrond peredhel #lotr elrond #galadriel #lotr galadriel

[evilelrond]

Elrond: Stop eating!

Gilgalad: Why?

Elrond: This tastes like elf meat!

Gil-Galad: What?!

Galadriel: ...

Galadriel: Why do you know what elf meat tastes like?

#evil elrond #lord of the rings #lotr #silmarillion #elrond #elrond peredhel #lotr elrond #gilgalad #erenion gilgalad #galadriel #lotr galadriel #fanfic #ao3

[evilelrond]

Elrond: You know, elves don't actually taste that bad. I understand the hype that orcs have over it.

Gilgalad: Elrond, what the fuck?

#elrond #evil elrond #elrond peredhel #lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr #lotr elrond #gilgalad #erenion gilgalad

[evilelrond]

Galadriel: Does this taste weird to you?

Elrond: No. Though, it was my turn to provide the... Meat

Everyone: *pushes their plates away*

Elrond: Well that's just rude. I don't do that when you make me eat deer or sheep.

#evil elrond #lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr #elrond #elrond peredhel #galadriel #AU #fanfic #ao3

[evilelrond]

Elrond: So, you see, Galadriel, that someone must be the bad guy.

Galadriel: That's what Sauron is for!

#elrond #evil elrond #lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr #elrond peredhel #lotr elrond #galadriel #fanfic #AU

[evilelrond]

Elrond: Just note that I would do anything to keep this kingdom running.

Gil-Galad: Anything?

Elrond: Even tying you up and locking you in your rooms. Would kill too.

Gil-Galad: Not me though, right?

Gil-Galad: NOT ME THOUGH?!

#evil elrond #lotr #lord of the rings #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #silmarillion #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect quotes #elrond #lotr elrond #elrond peredhel #gilgalad #erenion gilgalad

[evilelrond]

Gil-Galad: I mean how much safer can you get? There is nothing within these walls that could ever hurt you!

Elrond: *Slowly turns to stare at them*

#evil elrond #lotr #lord of the rings #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #silmarillion #elrond #elrond peredhel #lotr elrond #gilgalad #fanfic #ao3

[evilelrond]

Galadriel: Have you seen Gil-Galad. I've been looking for him all day and I'm starting to get worried.

Elrond: Haven't seen him since last night.

Gil-Galad, hog-tied in a closet: *muffled screaming*

#evil elrond #lotr #lord of the rings #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #silmarillion #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect quotes #elrond #lotr elrond #elrond peredhel #gilgalad #galadriel

[evilelrond]

Sauron: Do you know how to start a fight?

Elrond: No, but I know how to end them.

#elrond #evil elrond #elrond peredhel #lotr elrond #lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr #sauron

[evilelrond]

Elrond: He said his love language was physical touch so I took a swing at him.

Annatar: You're hopeless

#elrond #evil elrond #elrond peredhel #lotr elrond #annatar #sauron #lord of the rings #silmarillion #lotr

[evilelrond]

#Please #I beg of you #let me tell you my stories #give me an audience to tell me tales to

[evilelrond]

Sauron: I am so glad you devided to make a meal for everyone.

Elrond: Oh, it was nothing. Most of it was already cooked when we brought it in.

Sauron:

Sauron: Elrond, what type of meat is this?

Elrond:

Sauron: ELROND!

#evil elrond #lotr #lord of the rings #silmarillion #incorrect quotes #elrond #lotr elrond #elrond peredhel #sauron #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3