fuckassbitchboy

[fuckassbitchboy]

why must i be burdened with the horrors.

#what the fuck

[fuckassbitchboy]

i genuinely dont know if i can wait until Tuesday to see him without doing something wildly stupid.

[fuckassbitchboy]

i dont know why i feel so clingy all of a sudden but al n I had plans and we cant do them now because the thing we were going to got postponed until next month so now i just dont get to see him and im so much more upset than i should be. i feel like im overreacting but i wanna see him and spend time with him and cuddle and we were gonna do thay but now were not so im just here crying because i dont know how to convey that i wanted to see him so bad and now i can't and im upset in a godamn text and i dont want to bother him more than i already have today

#i want to crawl into a hole and cry until i can't anymore why do i feel so bad

[fuckassbitchboy]

#vent #vent art

[fuckassbitchboy]

emotionally constipated/neg lmaoo

in the 'I was forced to hide my negative emotions for so long i forgot how to feel them and now I don't even want to.' way. not the 'I experienced the world's cruelty very early on, so I've learned that any ounce of positivity is pointless and isn't worth my time.' way.

Like. I know i can. I know I should. I just. don't want to. crying is not a good time for me. ew.

#unfinished

[fuckassbitchboy]

ill get it go, but i still wont like them, even if they change. i understand why what happened happened and i accept that.

but they hurt me enough for me to cut em off in the first place. nothing will change that.

they were a child with incompetent parents, and so was i. i can give reasonable doubt that they didn't intend to harm me. they didn't mean to hurt me the way they did.

but they still hurt me. badly. and I can't and won't tolerate that behavior in my circle.

somehow, i gave myself closure. learned that they will inevitably learn and grow without me. They will become a better person without me. they will be happier without me. and that's okay. because im happier without them. I'm not the one who lost a friend. they did. I lost a garbage heap that contained hazardous materials.

it's cool. they're not important anymore.

[fuckassbitchboy]

this one b*tch is trying to tell me that Home is "toxic" and it's stressing me out.

They dont even know Home.

#🍎

[fuckassbitchboy]

idiots. idiots i tell you.

[fuckassbitchboy]

how do i tell my mom that i am uncomfortable with anything touching my ass in a way she will LISTEN TO ME.

she never apologizes. Never takes accountability. she doesn't listen. she only justifies.

'hey that made me uncomfortable please don't do that'

'well i only did it because __. maybe you should ___ next time'

I WAS PREOCCUPIED DAMMIT THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO GET MY ATTENTION THAN REMINDING ME OF HOW FATHER USED TO SLAP MY ASS AND HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THAT MADE ME.

at least he stopped.

#vent #im angry and uncomfortable and feel bad. #bad bad bad bad. #no one gets to touch me like that anymore no no no no #never again. #no #i dont want anyone touching me anymore except allie. #allie is safe. #allie doesn't make me feel dirty. he makes me feel loved.

[fuckassbitchboy]

oh f*ck everything else NyQuil makes everything better ooooohoho..

i am feeling.. certainly.. yes. certainly yes...

#I am sick. #advill wasn't touching it #so #ol reliable. NyQuil 💞💞💞💞 #i can move now at least. that's good. #🍎

[fuckassbitchboy]

i can feel my blood

#stupid. organic. Bloody. BODY. #RAAH

[fuckassbitchboy]

if i die, dont look for me in sunsets.

i mean if you do I'll be there, obviously, but there's better options.

Look for me in change. look for me in the silver lining. in hope. The tides, the stars, the smell of rain. the feeling you get the night before a special event.

Look for me in time. in emotions that crash in like a tidal wave but leave just as quickly. In wildflowers. foraging.

Look for me in regret. in growth. in self forgiveness. reinvention. learning.

look for me in yourself.

#im kay #just sentimental

[fuckassbitchboy]

CAN. MONSTER. MAKE. SOUR APPEL. FLAVOR. PLS.

#🍎 #WE ARE GOING BONKERS #WHY IS SOUR APPLE SO UNCOMMON IN ENERGY DRINKS ITS THE MOST

[fuckassbitchboy]

kicking me gotdamn feetsies and giggling

#AWAHAHAHHSHIFOFKNFNSH #i love him so much im going to explode #i love him so much #i love him #I #Love #Him #So #Gotdamn #Much #sobbing /pos

[fuckassbitchboy]

FUCKKK sAhir DAMMIT IM GOING TO THROW MYSELF OFF A CLUFF FUCK THIS JRITKYKGWJU

U JUST UPDATED MY PHONE AND EVERYTHING CHANGED IM GOING TO DIE THEY CHAMGED THE OS INHATE IT IBHATE IT I HATE IT NO

#hdjfjkfioof #mentally bawling my eyes out #might br 0hysiscally do #soon #i hate it #it is so weird abd different and dumb and i hate it

[fuckassbitchboy]

hashtag all politicians are fuckin awful greedy bastards

[fuckassbitchboy]

my brain while im explaining what statutory rape is to a fucking freshman.

A FRESHMAN. FUCKING 1 4.

A 14 YEAR OLD.

WHAT THE FUCK

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT WHAT IT EXPERIENCED WAS RAPE.

IT SHOULDN'T HAVE EXPERIENCED THAT. THEY'RE 14. IT SHOULD BE FUCKING PLAYING IN A MACDONALD'S PLAYPLACE.

NOT. BEING GROOMED. AND USED AND MANIPULATED. NO.

I want to take. every single pedophile. cut off their hands. rip out their tongue. let it rot in front of them for a couple days. and then make them eat it.

you ever even look at a kid that way again i will rip out your eyes and make you swallow them whole. a bit of ah. forced self reflection. if you will. look inside yourself, will you?

What do ya see? that's right.

nothing. The void.

It smiles at you, not that you can see it, you have no eyes. you also can't talk to it, as you have no tongue. and you definitely can't shape it to your will. you have no hands.

you could walk, but you have no will to do so. it would follow you, anyways.

all you can do is feel yourself decay as you return to the earth. to become a more productive member of society. like moss, or fertilizer. perhaps fungi.

#ON AMINO NO LESS #GOING BONKERS #ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT BONKERS #obviously its not its fault #but J3ESUS #tw rap3 #tw r*pe #cw r@pe #tw rape #general tw #gore tw #gore cw #tw gore #tw violence #tw vivisection #(???) #eh it's semi relevant. dissection of a living human. #CLARIFICATION: IT WASN'T GROOMED ON AMINO #IT ASKED IF IT WAS GROOMED. I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT IT WAS.