idontwanttobelikeiam

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

I fucking hate myself.

Gonna come out now and say that I'm 60.5kg now.

Three months ago I was 54.2kg and I was so fucking proud of myself at the time before I just let myself go. This is your sign to keep losing because trust me you'll regret it otherwise.

I had a sort of girlfriend up until today. We were never official but we acted like a couple and held hands and used to joke about being married and we'd go on "dates" together. Now I don't know if I was making it up in my head because she casually told me today that she was "divorcing" me to go out with this other girl. It was a light hearted moment but it still hurt a lot because I genuinely liked her.

My first thought was: It's because I got fat. I don't know if I'm being paranoid but it just so happens that she asked me on our first sort-of-date when I was at my lowest weight. I am currently at my highest (in a while anyway) and suddenly she wants to break things off. There's definitely some sort of correlation there because I truly don't believe it's just coincidence.

Either way, it was a wake-up call because her new girlfriend is like 50kg max and a little taller than me too so it was kind of a slap in the face realisation that I really need to start losing some weight.

I want to fast all day tomorrow. It's probably too ambitious to start after binging for a solid month or so but I'm feeling seriously motivated right now so I want to make my first ever 24 hour fast. I just want to be skinny so fucking badly.

#disordered eating mention #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #reasons to be thin #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #i wanna be thinner #i need to lose this weight #i want to be slim #i wanna lose weight #i want to be small #tw ana diary #i am starved #ana rant #4n4mi4 #pro 4ana #4n4rexia #pro for me not for thee #pr0ana diet #skinnni #ed not ed sheeran #sk1nn1 #sk1nny legs #skinnii #skinnyyy #st4rv1ng #tw ana shit

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

This diet actually fits my plans for this week so as of tomorrow I'll be starting from day 1

God I hope it works

I hope I stick to it

#edbllr #disordered eating mention #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #reasons to be thin #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #i want to be slim #i want to be weightless #i wish i was thinner #i want to be thinner #i want to be small #best way to lose weight #thin$p0 #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #pro for me not for thee #i am starved #tw ana diary #skinnni #ed warning #i wanna lose weight #tw weight #weight loss #tw ed diet #tw disordered eating #tw ed in the tags

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

All-time Favourite Thinspo

#edbllr #ed but not sheeran #i want to be slim #i want to be weightless #i wish i was thinner #i wanna be small #reasons to be thin #thin$p0 #i want to be thinner #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #i want to be small #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #th!n$p0 #th!n$piration #th!n$po #th!nsp0 #th11n$p0 #th11n$po #th1gh gap #th1n$po #th1nsp11 #th1nsp1r4t10n #thiinsp0 #tw ed in the tags #disordered eating mention

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

My relationship with my ed is so fucking toxic, I'm like this close to looking for an ana coach because I literally can't stop eating fucking food. AHHHHHH god dammit

Can't remember who originally posted this pic but may good things happen to that person because I'm completely obsessed with it at this point.

#disordered eating mention #edbllr #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #reasons to be thin #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #i want to be small #ed not ed sheeran #i am starved #tw disordered eating #ed relapse #bing3 eating #ed food diary #ed vent #ed warning #34t1ng d1s0rd3r #i wish i was thinner #i wanna lose weight #tw ed in the tags #tw ed diet #tw ana diary #pro 4ana #pro for me not for thee #pr0ana diet #pr04ana #i want to be slim

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

Apparently the ABC diet is very effective for weight loss so I'm starting this now...

I hope to update this everyday if I stick to it and I'll let you know how the results go.

#edbllr #disordered eating mention #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #reasons to be thin #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #tw disordered eating #ed relapse #tw ed diet #bing3 eating #high restriction #i wanna lose weight #i want to be small #ed warning #ed food diary #tw ed in the tags #34t1ng d1s0rd3r #i am starved #i wish i was thinner #tw ana diary #i want to be thinner #@na buddy #i need to lose this weight #weight loss #best way to lose weight #i wanna be thinner

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

57.7kg gonna kms

Diet starts now

#edbllr #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #reasons to be thin #i want to be slim #i wish i was thinner #i am starved #i wanna lose weight #i want to be small #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #i want to be thinner #i want to be weightless #tw ed in the tags #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #ed fast #pro for me not for thee #weight loss #eating disoder trigger warning #ed relapse #ed disorder #ed diet #ed bllog #disordered eating mention #bing3 eating #ed food diary #tw disordered eating #34t1ng d1s0rd3r #3d diet

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

Some Possibly Helpful Advice:

Something that I've noticed recently is that if you lose a significant amount of weight but then start eating more again for an extended period of time, you won't typically go back to your start weight.

This has happened to me a lot. Until recently, my "default" weight (basically what I typically weigh when I'm eating normally) was always 58kg. I got down to almost 54kg about 2 weeks ago, but unfortunately couldn't keep the weight off and started eating normally and gaining again.

Except now my "default" weight is just under 56kg.

Like if I were to binge for a day straight, I'd probably wake up weighing around 56kg.

Like I'm still not happy with it, obviously and I don't know if I'd really call it "progress", but it's something at least.

So there you have it folks-- starving works. Even if you stop for a while.

What's stopping you now?

#edbllr #disordered eating mention #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

Time to put this diet...

...back in motion.

Starting at day 1 tomorrow and will try my very best to stick to it, but I have a hockey match on Saturday and work afterwards (like a 10 hour shift) so food may be inevitable and I'll probably have to swap day 3 and 5, but I will try first anyway.

Did I mention I work in a kitchen? The irony.

Dear God please help me lose this weight 🙏 🙏🙏🙏

#edbllr #disordered eating mention #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #ed food diary #ed fast #pro for me not for thee #3d f4st #e4ting dis0rder #ed diet #ed not ed sheeran #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #i want to be thinner #i wish i was thinner #i am starved #i wanna lose weight #i want to be slim #ed warning #best way to lose weight #i want to be small #tw ed diet #34t1ng d1s0rd3r #@na diary #@na diet

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

I gotta really start buckling down on my weight loss bc I just ordered my prom dress one size down from my usual and the prom is in March.

I could probably fit into the dress now but it's kinda tight and stretchy so I could always be thinner.

Gonna aim to be at most 52kg by then.

#edbllr #reasons to be thin #disordered eating mention #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #skinnni #sk1nn1 #ed not ed sheeran #i am starved #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #i want to be thinner #i wish i was thinner #i wanna lose weight #i want to be slim #i want to be small #i want to be weightless #tw ed in the tags #e4ting dis0rder #ed diet #ed relapse #ed vent #ed warning #edblrr #ednotsheeran

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

Please interact cause I'm really needing the motivation

#edbllr #reasons to be thin #disordered eating mention #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #4norexla #disordered eating thoughts #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #e4ting dis0rder #ed diet #ed food diary #tw ed diet #pro for me not for thee #i wish i was thinner #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #i want to be thinner #i am starved #i wanna lose weight #i want to be slim #i want to be small #i want to be weightless #tw ed in the tags #ed warning #best way to lose weight #tw weight #weight loss #skinnni

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

It has come to my attention that I am fat

#edbllr #reasons to be thin #disordered eating mention #disordered eating thoughts #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #4norexla #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #skinnni #sk1nn1 #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #i want to be thinner #i wish i was thinner #i am starved #i wanna lose weight #i want to be slim #i want to be small #i want to be weightless #tw ed in the tags #e4ting dis0rder #ed diet #ed not ed sheeran #ed vent #ed warning #edblrr #ed relapse #ednotsheeran

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

Lunch

It's all about portion control

#ed diet #tw ed diet #pr0ana diet #@na diet #3d diet #disordered eating mention #edbllr #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #4norexla #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #ed food diary #pro for me not for thee #ed relapse #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #i want to be thinner #i wish i was thinner #e4ting dis0rder #@na diary #skinnni #i am starved #i wanna lose weight #i want to be slim #i want to be small #i want to be weightless #tw ed in the tags #tw disordered eating

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

Legit ate so fucking much this weekend. I work in a kitchen on Fridays and Saturdays so I'm always eating there.

I was basically binging this whole Sunday because I was studying the whole day bc I got exams next week and I'm a snacky reviser.

Gonna try to fast as much as possible in this week now. Idgaf about exams tbh bc they're just mocks. Apparently starving can help with focus. Time to test that theory.

Skininess here I come.

#edbllr #reasons to be thin #disordered eating mention #disordered eating thoughts #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #4norexla #eating disoder trigger warning #ed bllog #ed disorder #e4ting dis0rder #ed diet #ed food diary #ed not ed sheeran #ed relapse #ed vent #ed warning #ednotsheeran #tw disordered eating #skinnni #sk1nn1 #i am starved #i want to be slim #i need to lose this weight #i wanna be thinner #i want to be thinner #i wish i was thinner #i wanna lose weight #i want to be small #i want to be weightless

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

WHY THE FUCK AM I SUCH A CHAOTIC ANOREXIC?

Broke my 24 hour fast short at 21 hours.

Literally tried so hard too. I skipped breakfast, lunch and dinner but then ended up binging at 10 in the night on salted popcorn (i ate around 90g I think— so like 300–400 calories).

Didn't finish the whole bag though and was tempted to have a square of fudge but didn't in the end. (Yay me ig?)

Immediately after the binge I chugged a whole ass litre of water, which I'm pretty sure I've never done before in my life, and then proceeded to dance around my room for an hour while bopping out to my triggering tunes. Pissed for like a solid 2 minutes after that.

idek, my dudes. idek.

Have some before and after thinspo xx

#edbllr #reasons to be thin #4norexla #tw ed diet #i wanna be thinner #eating disoder trigger warning #m34lspo #@na coach #tw ana diary #bonespii #e4ting dis0rder #ed diet #disordered eating thoughts #ed food diary #education #disordered eating mention #pro 4ana #4n4m14 #4n4m1a #4n4mi4 #4n4rexia #4nam1a #4norex1a #4norexi4 #i need to lose this weight #i want to be thinner #i wanna be small #i wish i was thinner #ed but not sheeran #ed bllog

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

FML

My dad's birthday was yesterday and we had this huge meal. I ate so fucking much.

I knew what was coming and fasted the whole day leading up to it but I genuinely thought I could control myself.

What's worse is that I weighed myself before we had the meal and I was at 54.4kg, which is the lowest weight I've been at for over 3 years and 400g away from my gw1.

So fucking pissed at myself. I'm doing a water fast today though, following the diet below, so I'll see how it goes.

Keep getting skinnier <3

#edbllr #reasons to be thin #4norexla #tw ed diet #eating disoder trigger warning #i wanna be thinner #m34lspo #tw ana diary #ed diet #e4ting dis0rder #disordered eating thoughts #ed food diary #3d diet #@na diary #@na diet #disordered eating mention #ed disorder #pr0ana diet #tw disordered eating #tw ed descussion #skinnni #ed but not sheeran #i wanna be small #sk1nn1 #ed not ed sheeran #i am starved #i want to be slim #i want to be small #skinnii #starv1ng

[idontwanttobelikeiam]

At 54.9kg, I am currently 0.9kg away from my first gw.

This is the lowest weight I've been at in over 3 years and it's only taken me under 2 weeks to get to it.

Praying to the weight loss gods up there that I stay in my honeymoon phase because istg I'm already seeing a difference.

You want to lose that weight? Go for it. Trust me when I say it's 100% worth it!!!

#edbllr #reasons to be thin #4norexla #tw ed diet #ed motivation #i wanna be thinner #eating disoder trigger warning #@na coach #tw ana diary #i want to be thinner #ed warning #i wanna be small #i wish i was thinner #i need to lose this weight #i wanna lose weight #i want to be slim #i want to be small #i want to be weightless #weight loss #ed but not sheeran #sk1nn1 #skinnni #ed not ed sheeran #skinnii #e4ting dis0rder #ed diet #disordered eating thoughts #ed food diary #disordered eating mention #ed bllog