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Laundry...lots of laundry!

I had a mountain, and now it's a hill.... lmao. Slowly getting through it. First of all, carrying loads of laundry upstairs and to my car was super rough. Guess I'm out of shape! Then went to the laundromat, and my stubbornness got the best of me. When I first got there, I realized I forgot my detergent...so I ran home and came back. Luckily, I live down the road. Then I filled some washers, using all the change I had...so I had to go the store for change, they didn't have enough, so I went back to the laundromat and asked a stranger for some more change...After he watched me embarrass myself because I knowingly overloaded a washer and had to move soaked clothes around. I didn't move them once, I moved them twice...the washer started to work again and it had my 2 dollars in it. But it was cool, it turned out fine. I got some laundry done and am finally home. I have to put it all away now. I think that's the hardest part yall... at least I am going downstairs this time. Lol.

Annd, I okayed going into work tomorrow...my day off.

I'm depressed, so I tend to be more depressive with how I live.

I'm also pregnant, I am 9 weeks along.

This progress means a lot to me to be real.

To be able to type all of this, and not feel any sort of negativity towards it, is absolutely amazing.... I would have deleted my writing already.

Where is my brain at right now? It's working it.

#laundry #laundromat #hardwork #mental health #out of shape #progess #embarrassed #exhausted #pregnant

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Moebius, Venise Céleste

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Rielly is crying again

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“I’m stranded somewhere between wanting you back and letting you go. A constant push and pull between my heart and my brain.”

— dreamyrainbowwriter

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My tiny little baby bump.. still not sure how far along I am. I'll hopefully know next Wednesday.

#pregnant #second child #scared #happy #emotional #the beginning #myself #me #grateful

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““I don’t want to be a sweetheart. I want to be the fucking love of your life.” Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie”

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“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” - Anaïs Nin

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Conor Nolan

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What it is like to be with my alcoholic boyfriend...

Get into fights quicker than usual

Hardly eat or sleep together

Constantly have a messy home and car

Always walking on egg shells, especially when they're sober

Trying to sleep with them for days on end to where your back is killing you

Getting ditched randomly

Being told they'll be right back and they disappear for 2 days. Whenever they come back, they don't even try to apologize and just joke around

Being accused of constantly cheating even though they want you to sleep around

Biting your tongue all the time so they don't freak out on you

Barely getting any attention that you want or need

Going to the liquor store for them, buying the bottle with the last of your money, after working all day. (They slept all day and are broke)

Being extra nice just to please them for once

Never have money to last you, not even change

Count how many days they go without a shower and see them not care one bit

Rarely get compliments

Feeling like you're always in competition with them

They can do whatever they want, but you can't go out without getting flipped out on

Things get destroyed quickly. It doesn't matter if it is something new or important

Anndd, what else????

Oh, watching them slowly kill themselves every single day other than when they're asleep.

😔😭💔

#alcoholic #my relationship #im sad and angry #all the time #what do i do #i love him though #addiction