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Torin: You’re kidnapping Prince Kai? That’s illegal!

Cinder: What’s more illegal: briefly inconveniencing Prince Kai, or letting him marry Levana?

Torin: KIDNAPPING PRINCE KAI!

#The Lunar Chronicles #cinder #scarlet #cress #winter #marissa meyer #books

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*Hades voice* for the last time, I’m the god of the dead not the god of death it’s different

#i understood that reference

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Rhys, Azriel, and Cassian:

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #acowar #a court of wings and ruin #acofas #a court of frost and starlight #a court of nightmares #a court of dreams #rhys #rhysand #azriel #cassian #bat boi #bat brothers

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Aelin arriving in Terrasen and riding into battle on the Lord of the North!

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Nicholas J Fury spent one weekend in the 90s hanging out with a cool lesbian and then spent the next twenty years trying and failing to find another superhero with her general degree of competence or emotional maturity

#i understood that reference

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A Crystal of Time spoiler with no context

#crystal of time #school for good and evil #good versus evil #sophie of woods beyond #agatha of woods beyond #soman chainani #a world without princes #quests for glory #king teapea #reaper

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jem, just trying to do his best to train kit: okay so when you see a ravener demon what do you do?

kit: well, thank ya for askin. I use the bittenbinder method. when I see the demon approachin, I chew up a tab of alka-seltzer I carry with me at all times. this creates a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that makes it look like I have rabies. NOW I’VE THROW HIM OFF HIS RHYTHM! then I reach into his jacket pocket where I’ve planted a gram of coke and go “woah! what the fuck is this?” and he goes “that’s not mine, I’ve never seen that before.” I go, “boo-hoo, it’s in your jacket! you’re doing two to ten and your kids are going into social services!” now HE’S cryin! then I grab a telephone book and beat him on the torso with it, cause as any shadowhunter will tell ya, a phone book doesn’t leave bruises!

jem: *softly* what the fuck

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Aelins goodbye to Chaol and Dorian at the end of KOA was the saddest part of the series because it brought everything full circle and it really ment the end of the series

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Reblog this no matter what your blog is! reBLOG! REBLOG! REBLOG!

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

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Azriel: I don’t get paid enough for this.

Feyre: For what?

Azriel: *gestures at Cassian and Rhys fighting over a cookie*

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Mrs Hudson: Sherlock, love, would you mind moving out of the way?

John: He can’t hear you, he’s in his mind palace.

Sherlock: I can hear you- and I would greatly appreciate silence while I’m working.

Mrs Hudson: But, I need to tidy the flat, dear. It’s not like you’re going to do it, is it?

Sherlock: I need you both to be quiet!

Mrs Hudson: *starts vacuuming*

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Sometimes a family is a demi fae assassin queen, a territorial fae bastard, a grumpy old prick, the sassy gods guided girl he’s pining over, a wolf, a shifter, a warrior prince and his estranged mountain lion father

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@katokeeffe THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET

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Will and Tessa: Children, where HAVE you been?!

[to Cordelia, kindly]: Cordelia! How wonderful to see you, dear.

[to James and Lucie]: Beds empty, no note, weapons gone! You could have died!

[to Cordelia]: Of course we don’t blame you, Cordelia, dear.

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Sherlock: *has big red mark on his face* You guys can’t still see where Molly slapped me, can you?

Greg: Your face looks like a “Don’t Walk” signal.

John: Your face looks like a photo negative of the Hamburger Helper box.

Greg: A palm reader could tell Molly’s future by looking at your face.

John: The phrase ‘Talk to the hand cuz the face ain’t listening’ doesn’t work for you because the hand is your face.

Sherlock: A simple yes would’ve sufficed.

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- so we all know and love vine-quoting meme kid Kit, but here’s a concept: cheesy social media influencer Kit.

- After he moves in with Jem and Tessa he has nothing to really do but he does happen to have a little camera and a decent enough laptop Jem and Tessa were nice enough to get for him

- the year is 2013 and vine has just come out

- lmao he starts off doing videos like these whenever he’s left alone to watch baby Cordelia

- just generally videos of Cordelia doing funny things, because he just loves recording her.

- Nick and Gavin who?? Idk them I only know Kit and Baby Carstairs 🤷🏽‍♀️

- aNYWAY when vine dies he moves to YouTube

- as u do

- and like I can’t get this concept out of my head of him being one of those cheesy paranormal investigation channels

- he totally cheats bc he can see and talk to ghosts

- mostly he just gets Will to do a bunch of random ghosts shit for the camera

- “SPIRITS IF YOU ARE HERE GIVE US A SIGN” *mouthing to Will* “now”

- and ghost!Will knocks something random over or slams one of the doors and Kit plays it UP for the cameras

- “DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT?? OH MY GOD THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED!!!”

- it’s all in good fun

- he has those video titles u know the ones

- PRANKED BY A GHOST??? 😱👻👀 [Not clickbait]

- MY MOM IS IMMORTAL? ft. Tessa Gray [Not clickbait]

- MY LITTLE SISTER CAN SEE DEAD PEOPLE?! ft. Cordelia Carstairs [Not clickbait]

- lmao imagine Clary just fuckin around on YouTube one day and finds one of these videos and she’s like iS tHaT KiT hErOnDaLE?!

- Clary’s shook like wtf how hasn’t anyone else caught on to him doing this??

- oh right it’s bc shadowhunters are dumbasses with mundane technology

- Kit gets away with it for years before Alec has to interfere

- “hey kit maybe u should not be talking about ghosts and demons on the internet maybe?”

- “bUT I JUST REACHED A MILLION FOLLOWERS”

- Alec begrudgingly lets him keep the channel after some convincing from Clary bc she thinks it’s hilarious

- nobody tell Alec abt Jem’s storytime channel tho oof