just-4-thought

[just-4-thought]

It hurts to put weight on my left leg

Because when we were falling

I chose to save you instead of myself

And the choice

Not consciously made

Is one I'd make again

And again

And again

#writerscreed #poetry #poeticstories #poetryportal #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #motherhood #birdsong

[just-4-thought]

Life is fucking fragile

And time goes by too fast

Someday the sun will swallow us all

And it won't matter either way

But I will remember how you were there

When I needed you most 

Back against the wall of my bedroom floor

As your years flew by

And sometimes when I'm alone, I will remember how you lay

how you sighed

How you bounced when you were happy

How you ran to me when you were scared

I will remember your gifts, dirty as they were

And all the long long walks

I'll remember the way you ran and moved

Like of a stone were liquid

Or bears were made of spaghetti

I'll remember each loud crack of thunder

And every time I walk through that door

And no one greets me like I'm their very best friend.

I will remember that you are gone

But hope that you found your brother

And together you are running and wrestling and free.

Finally free of the pain

#for king #cw: death

[just-4-thought]

Chronic illness "hot tip": if you're stuck in bed all day except for a trip or two to the bathroom, try lying on top of the covers for a few hours right before bed. It may just help you sleep a little better at night.

#yall im on like day five of what has been a pretty terrible stretch. ive literally lost 7lbs in 5 days its bad #oooof #been a long time since it's been this bad but its also been a long time since ive had time to tumblr #and some other hard things got me in a... place

[just-4-thought]

Little barbarian

Wild in the yard

Born under a cloudless noon

Bright sunshine

In the gloom

#a little something #birdsong #personal #I'd prefer this one not get reblogged if you happen to see this tag. no worries if not

[just-4-thought]

#hyperspecific poll #this is a joke #i actually fit into one of these #but only one #i am very sick and had some bad life events happen recently #too bad to try to put to poetry right now #so distraction

[just-4-thought]

Some wisdom from my toddler:

Sometimes you fall flat on your face and that's sad

BUT

Sometimes while you are lying flat on your face, you see a fun leaf and that's neat

#birdsong

[just-4-thought]

A little cheesy piece of trivia about me, I could never watch romcoms when I was younger. It didn't matter if I was in a relationship or not, the movies always seemed so unrealistic. But now that I'm with my husband, I can enjoy the occasional romantic movie. I am so happy and content with our relationship that those movies don't bring anxiety, just gratitude for what I have.

It's weird to me that I could hate these movies my whole life and one person can come along and change that.

[just-4-thought]

We danced under the kitchen moonlight

Sparkling cider in our engraved flutes

She twirled and laughed

And threw her arms in the air

While we counted down

Clean, fresh hope in our lungs

Damn it's a good life

And with little hearts growing

Bigger

Bigger still

Every breath

Every hug

Every kiss

A promise

It's only going to get better

#something i wanted to remember #poeticstories #writerscreed #poetry #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #motherhood #love poems

[just-4-thought]

Unsung heros of the holiday season--

Trash collectors

#if you happen to be in that profession and are reading this thank you

[just-4-thought]

Settle

Settle in

Lay down your bags

Remove your shoes

Release the weight

In your arms

In your legs

Slow your breathing

Pause.

No more running

Or planning what's next

The sun is reaching through the branches

It's a soft, warm glow this morning

The coffee still steams a little

And each breath is fresh and full

Your muscles

Your joints

Are begging you let them fall

Just be

Curl up in the blankets

And stay

Stay

For a little while

In this place

With me

#writerscreed #poeticstories #poetry #poetryportal #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #writeblr #note for future me: a poem about being worried im running out of time yet knowing it will take time so living and enjoying the space im in #being a mom #having a baby #trying to capture this time that is going so fast

[just-4-thought]

We pressed apples today

On an old farm

The sun holding our hands

One last time

I can still taste the cider on my tongue

Seeped into my gums

My daughter chasing chickens through the garden

The bag pipes declaring their arrival

And feeling so very welcomed

Time does a funny thing on days like today

Was I there for months?

Was I there for moments?

Makes no difference

I was there

#writerscreed #poetry #poeticstories #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry

[just-4-thought]

Tiny

In scope

In breadth

In impact

The weed in the garden

Outside the front window

Sucking

From the bright orange lilies

And the knotted bush

All could grow fuller

Stronger

Without you

And all will

You speak of trauma

Of being ripped from the dirt

As if you weren't the one

Making the garden sickly

So you could climb their bodies

Like a stage

And the hand

The hand will grib

Deeper this time

And we will grow

Fuller without you

And I speak this now

As soon as these words run out

Obscurity--

Once your deepest enemy--

Will be your closest friend

#catharsis #poetry #poeticstories #poetryportal #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #writerscreed

[just-4-thought]

When I imagined your room

There wasn't a twin sized mattress

Your father or I would find ourselves in most nights

My carrying muscles have atrophied

Since you began to walk

But I'm still stronger now

Strength I didn't know I had or would ever need

Tonight I walk you to sleep

Pressed softly into my chest

Like I used to when you were new

I find myself lingering after you've grown heavy

I hope I get to walk you to sleep again

At least once more

I hope you know

You are loved You are loved You are

loved

I hope I always know how to show you

I hope I always know how you need me

#poeticstories #writerscreed #poetry #poetryportal #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #birdsong #motherhood #love poems

[just-4-thought]

My house is filled with laughter

Fingerprints on windows

And colorful blocks hidden behind couch and table

My house is filled with unpleasant smells

Late

Late nights

And some kind of slimey residue

Left all over the counter

My house is filled with little pitter patter of new feet learning to find their way in this big wide world

Clapping hands

And midnight cries

But the thing I will remember the most

When all the others have passed

Is that my house is filled

filled

With laughter

#writerscreed #poetry #poeticstories #poetryportal #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #love poetry #motherhood

[just-4-thought]

We have a guy, we will call him "S," in the neighborhood who walks the neighborhood several times a day. S has identified my husband as "Steve from Blue's Clues." He always asks for Steve from Blue's Clues to bring him diet cokes for various holidays and my husband rarely remembers. Well, S's birthday was coming around and we were kind of a mess here in our house. Very sick. Lots going on.

We would pass S on his walks sometimes and he let us know that he wanted diet coke with a paw print and a note that said "Happy birthday [S], this is a clue from Steve from Blue's Clues." Today, we get the note and the diet coke together just in time for our evening walk. We get to S's house about 6:30pm...and there was a crowd of people. We were kind of confused but recognized various neighbors coming and going. So we asked what was going on. It turns out we were all bringing S a diet coke for his birthday.

We stood around with our neighbors and laughed for a while about how much diet coke he was going to have.

The lady who ran out with an umbrella in the rainstorm to keep my daughter dry was there.

The guy who works in the refrigerator was too. "We take care of each other," he said.

It was a simple thing amongst strangers who probably share nothing but a similar geolocation, but it all made the world feel a little softer. So, I thought I would share.

[just-4-thought]

I run to the midnight waters

To see what shadows may rise

Fists drawn

And voice held high

I find the deepest fight

When may I stand up

If struggle forbade

When may I stand in the waters

Or hope the current fades

I punch

The waters resist

My throat so tender dry

The words they ride the desperate waters

And reach neither foe nor shore

#writerscreed #poeticstories #poetryportal #poetry #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #rage against #to be unheard to struggle alone

[just-4-thought]

When I was a child, I dreamed of being a scientist or a writer. I thought myself a hero, wanted to change the world with my mind, wanted life to be fast-paced, filled with desire and success.

Now that I'm middle-aged, all I want is to build this small world with people I love and live a quiet, peaceful, long, and healthy time together, playing and laughing as often as we can.

#writerscreed #poetry #poeticstories #poetryportal #poem #savage words #smittenbypoetry #motherhood #love poetry