justrandomfandomstm

[justrandomfandomstm]

why do I seem to need to? || tsc chapter 6

#GOES ACTUALLY INSANE??? #i love them so much #all for the game #aftg #the sunshine court #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #my bbs <3

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So I don't remember most of what I write. We've been through this. We know this. That is not the point.

TELL ME WHY I start editing and writing and I come across this-

Don’t become another stone in the graveyard when you still have so much to decorate the tombstone with.

SIR???? HUH????

#I surprise myself sometimes #Like???? #I am so proud of myself too and I just thought somebody needs to hear it #bc I know I do

[justrandomfandomstm]

Oh HELL YEAH

Tag game!!!

Do this quiz

And this picrew

And tag people(obviously)

@anartistwithamask @gummy-axolotl @shadowthegay @auseryoumayknow @copper-ichor @moonysfavoritetoast @alexthescaredenby @invaderxeya @fungal-boy-witch-yay @artists-void @hazbin-hotel-lucifer-simp @ka1-the-pr0ot @theautumnalcat

#this was so much fun #and please tag me everytime fr i love it #do I always post the answers? no #but i enjoy them none the less #anyways I dont have anyone to tag so BYEEEEE

[justrandomfandomstm]

that short story......

#WHY AM I CRYING??? #OMFG #I CANT #WHYWHYWHY #i love this more than life itself

[justrandomfandomstm]

Oh yeah? Feeling tough, tough guy? how do you feel about THIS

*throws Regulus in Crimson Rovers edited to A Pearl by Mitski and runs*

#im being so serious #im gonna throw up it hurts so much how much it fits #all of mitski makes me go feral #but i like to bring a certain amount of pain to myself imagining my fave characters to her music #and then i cry #marauders #regulus black #crimson rivers #regulus deserved better #Spotify

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LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

[justrandomfandomstm]

WHYWHYWHYWHY

What am I supposed to do at work now???

#ao3 #GUYS NO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

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You know I get it.

#This holds such a dear place in my heart #The headcannon that they printed out this speech and framed it #swooning every time they passed it #its cannon #neil is such a little shit i love him

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The way everyone in aftg views Andrew makes me so miserable I can’t

#no it actually made me sad every time someone called him monster or soulless #Neil is so real with the 'if anyone calls you soulless again i'll have to fight them #bc YES #PLEASE DO #he is just a depressed lil guy who has been told he is a wadte of space and unwanted #so EXCUSE ME when he has poor choping mechanisms #like bffr #is he violent? yes #but REMEMBER WHY HE IS #i will defend him with my life #bc he cares SO MUCH and he lives SO HARD and people BELITTLE THAT just bc he doesnt express emotions the same #like???? BE SO F- #He literally PROTECTS AND CARES FOR EVERYBODY THAT SHOWS HIM CARE #he is loyal to a FAULT #and yet all they see is a 'souless creature with anger issues and insane' when he is actively PROTECTING THEM #and people are so scared of him and for WHAT #ALL HE ASKES FOR IS MUTUAL RESPECT #AND YET PEOPLE DONT GIVE IT TO HIM #this obviously got out of control but i am an andrew defender for life #bite me

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everyone: what's your goal in life?

me: to write a story so soul snatching, so gut wrenching and so devastatingly beautiful that it leaves you crying at 3am when you have a 8am lecture/shift and it inspires people to write entire essays, to write entire fanfics, mood boards and playlists based on it.

[justrandomfandomstm]

Thanks for the tag @akariana317

Last song: Last Words of a Shooting Star by Mitski

Favourite Color: Brown/Earthy Green

Last Film/Show: One Day (2024)

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet/savory

Last thing I googled: all for the game trgw

Last Book: The Kings Men by Nora Sakavic

Relationship Status: Single

Current obsessions: Aftg, Marauders, PJO, Mitski

(all my moots have already been tagged so imma just peace out, thanks for tagging me though byeeeee <33)

Tag 9 People you want to get to know better

thx for tagging me @rudikawhy!

Last Song: PARAMOUR by Sub Urban and Aurora

Favourite Colour: Navy blue or burgundy

Last film/show: 10 Things I Hate About You

Sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury

Last thing I googled: league of nations disbanded

Last Book: Book Lovers by Emily Henry

Relationship status: single

Current Obsession(s): The Artful Dodger, PJO, Friday Barnes, The Tortured Poets Department, Young Royals (S3!!!)

tags:

@inej-ghafa-deserves-the-world @downn-in-flames @forasecondtherewedwon @oceanspray5 @the-biscuit-agreement

@jpg-of-dorian-slay @rubysunnday @fandomsthroughtimeandspace @chocolateprincecat

[justrandomfandomstm]

[justrandomfandomstm]

Andrew and Neil’s relationship will always be impactful to me because it’s about independence existing with love rather than in defiance of it. “I’m not your answer and you sure as fuck aren’t mine,” isn’t a throwaway sentence; it’s not Andrew trying to deny the thing growing between him and Neil. It’s saying the pure and simple truth: love isn’t going to fix everything. Love isn’t going to heal Neil or Andrew; infatuation isn’t going to last an eternity; this interest isn’t going to be a life purpose.

Both Andrew and Neil see it. Instead of pretending they can be enough for each other, they both work to help the other stand alone. Andrew helps Neil stand his ground and stop running. Neil helps Andrew accept his brother and the importance of other people. They help each other find answers that aren’t just themselves. (Although I would argue Andrew had this intention while Neil more or less saw himself as insufficient -- 'nothing' -- and therefore not enough to depend upon; but that's a whole other thing for a whole other post)

I think Andrew has a much deeper understanding of trauma responses and recovery than he lets on (he had so many sessions with Bee). He sees the signs of Neil growing dependent on him. He knows Neil is prone to dependency after his mother; he knows he himself is prone to controlling people and situations. They are the perfect recipe for toxic reliance. Knowing this, he tries to push Neil away. When he figures out he can’t, he tries to change the trajectory their past and their trauma has them set on. Everyone emphasizes how much Andrew focuses on not becoming his past via his ‘yes or no’, but he also focuses heavily on letting his family stand alone. In more ways than one, Andrew actively aspires to be better.

There’s a quote from a book I read recently (Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin): “Only healthy people are capable of being in love. Using love to treat an illness just makes the illness worse.” So many stories romanticize love bringing people back from the dark. Andrew and Neil don’t drag each other out of dug graves. Instead, they hand each other a shovel and start digging themselves.

It's been on my mind; how Nora Sakavic masterfully concocted an outline of characters with a disaster waiting at the end of every road and told us a story about how people can take control of their lives and redirect themselves to something healthy and beautiful. I'm excited for TSC :)

[justrandomfandomstm]

For the last time Neil is not oblivious he's just so busy playing 5d chess with everyone he meets that the concept of regular chess baffles and bores him. Matt what do you mean I should hook up with a cheerleader can't you see I'm busy waging psychological warfare on a Frenchman.

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#and what ABOUT IT

[justrandomfandomstm]

Me when I write:

"You lied to me." It's not a question.

"I never wanted to." It's not an answer.

#writer #This is a historical romance im writing and its midst ANGST and i LOVE IT #I have noticed I write an unhealthy amount of angst and hurt/comfort #but its fiiiiiine #its very healthy wdym?