Alex | 19 | She/her | š³ļøāš | much of my time is spent hopping between AO3 pages | fanfic writer | currently obsessing over DC Comics and reading Modern Age Batman in a chronological order |
I turn 30 next month so hereās what I learned in my 20s:
ādonāt work for startups, theyāre always one āinnovative ideaā away adding āsell your kidneys on the black marketā to your job description.
ākeeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.
āthose little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money
āoverly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them
āyou can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and theyāre a godsend for hot cocoa
āpeople donāt care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them
ātry to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in
So you know how lots of birds just find humans really sexy? Like how they're constantly trying to seduce humans, and if you have pet birds there's whole guides for how to not give your bird mixed signals and make them think you're their mate, and how they keep trying to drive off the partners of their owners/carers as rivals
And people who own or live near these types of birds just kind of have to live with this, like they just gotta accept that that's how birds are and work around it
I like to think that that's how gods feel about the tiresome human propensity to worship them at the drop of a hat
The aim is to draw one Supercorp drawing a day. Some will be butch Karaā¦ some wonātā¦ some will be AUsā¦ some might not be. Depending on how much time I have in my schedule, some will be digital, some wonāt. Iām just happy to be drawing these dames again.Ā
So, I know I promised you guys a comic, but Iām slow af so hereās a bit of fanfiction about Eve. I tried my hand at writing from Eveās perspective, and since I canāt read minds I have no idea how accurate this is, so take anything thatās not dialogue with a grain of salt.
Thereās also quantum physics, and since Iām a biologist, take that with a handful of salt.
Reasons I believe my friend is secretly some kind of deity
1) First time we spoke was a week after the beggining of freshman year she summed up my entire character and most of the events of my life Sherlock style. I asked her how the hell she knew all that. She just shrugged and said she figured out our entire class already.
2) The one time we had religion class instead of ethics she listened to the teacher for a few minutes, laughed and told me:
āHumans have wished to be gods so much theyāve forgotten they have to ability to create them. Imagination has truly suffered from this āmonotheismā stuff.ā
I was confused and asked her if she was an atheist. She rolled her eyes and said:
āOh I believe in god alright. I just donāt think the bastard deserves to be worshipped.ā
3) Out of nowhere she gave me this advice:
āThe only truth a liar ever told was that lies werenāt going to save you. Donāt become the liar who has to pass that wisdom on, because they speak from experience.ā
4) To this day, she has one of those old-timey phones with buttons she only uses to ocassionally call someone. When I asked her why she never got a smartphone she got pouty:
āI hate social media. On Facebook they talk a lot but never say anything. If I wanted to listen to people moan about their problems and ask for help they donāt expect Iād listen to their prayers.ā (Notice the choice of words)
5) I noticed she was stiff and I offered her a massage since Iām really good at it but when i started kneading her back I swear to this day those were not muscles I felt. I asked her what she did to turn her muscles into rocks covered with a thin layer of skin and she kinda froze then shrugged and said she was just really, really stiff. My hands hurt after ten minutes when I can usually go for an hour. Next time I offered she seemed surprised and laughed. She still has rocks for muscles.
6) We were having a debate over the way neural pathways are formed (I study biology and she forensics) and I jokingly asked if I could have her brain for study when she dies. She laughed.
āSure, if you find a way to kill me you can have it. Iām actually curious what youāre gonna find.ā
7) One time she was tired and miserable and I tried to comfort her. We both have really dark sense of humor so I told her she could scare the dead out of their graves with that glare. She told me the dead canāt come back and I rolled my eyes and said 'obviouslyā but she continued:
āWhen you die you descend to the underworld with nothing to lose. To keep you, they give you something to lose. When you want to return, they will demand it back. Thatās why nobody ever leaves. The only way out is to never enter.ā
8) One day she just came up to me with a disappointed look on her face. When I asked her what was wrong she was quiet for a few seconds and then just told me:
āBetrayals committed in good intentions are still damning. Justā¦ keep that in mind.ā Then she left and didnāt speak to me for three days. I still donāt know what she meant but even three years later I havenāt forgotten it.
9) We were casually sitting on a bench when, out of nowhere, she asked me: āIs it just me or have humans gotten dumber? Or have they always been this stupid and I just havenāt been paying attention?ā
10) She asked me if I ever wondered what it was like to die. I said no but told her I would tell her when I found out. I meant it as a ghost joke but she smiled at me and said:
āGreat. Iāll wait for you to come back. Maybe youāll even remember me.ā
In conclusion, she is some kind of low-key god and she lost her faith in humanity even before we lost our faith in her but sheās stuck with us because immortality is a bitch.
P.S. I just remembered her name is a variation on 'Eveā. Maybe I should reconsider my atheist status?!
UPDATE (Jan 9, 2019): Since people liked this so much Iām making it a thing. All I have about Eve can be found under #god goes to college
Irina Cisternino, a PhD candidate of Stony Brooke University, is writing their research on topics related to technology, art and fandom. You can participate by filling out a survey and additionally, signing up for an interview. The survey is expected to last until at least the end of April, those, who signed up for the interview, will be contacted later. You need to be at least 18 years old to participate in either, be able to understand and speak English and identify as a fan.
After the completion of the research, it will be accessible as the dissertation of the researcher. If you have further questions, you can contact Irina Cisternino at [email protected] or Lu-Ann Kozlowsky at [email protected].
no one tells you how much of life takes practice. not just writing, painting, running, singing, etc, but practicing how to make friends. how to make the right ones. getting practiced at how to be a good friend, a good sibling, a good person. practice identifying when people havenāt earned that. learning to recognize your right to rage and, eventually, how to offer mercy. so much of life is muscle memory, and iāve begun to realize there are so many more parts of ourselves to flex and stretch and strengthen than those weāre taught in anatomy lessons
[ID: An acrylic painting that reads "trans people deserve to grow old" in black text over messily applied acrylic paint in the vague pattern of a trans flag. end ID]