mammondrivesamazdamiata

[mammondrivesamazdamiata]

Obey Me! Boys as Baristas in a coffee shop

I myself am a barista and so I feel qualified enough to make assumptions :P Enjoy

(includes foul language lol)

Lucifer

- The opening manager

- Clean freak

- Always has a rag tucked into the pocket of his apron

- Arrives fifteen minutes early every morning and complains about it

- Keeps everyone on task during rushes

- Will passive aggressively argue with customers

"I want a medium cappuccino. Don't make it a latte. I don't want milk to the top, I want about two inches of foam."

"Ma'am, please do not speak to me like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm aware of what a cappuccino is and how to make it. Unless you'd like to come behind the counter and make it yourself?"

- Will snap at his crew when he's stressed and apologize for it later

- Freaks out when nothing is stocked

Mammon

- Strictly an order taker on most days

- Can not remember recipes to save his life

- Constantly gets into these long, drawn out conversations with customers and has to be reeled back in

- Honestly great at customer service, but totally fake

"Bye, guys! Have a good one!" *Turns around* "Holy shit they were fucking annoying."

- Has a crush on every good-looking person that comes in

- Pretty good at memorizing regular customer orders and tries to have their order saved into the POS system before they arrive

- LOVES making pup cups. He considers it the best part of his job. Will argue with Satan over who gets to hand it out

- Always gets stuck mopping the floors because no one else wants to do it

- Will straight up eat espresso beans

Levi

- Actually a very good barista

- Memorizes recipes and measurements really fast

- Can be seen carrying multiple drinks in his arms during a rush

"I've got the entire first and second tickets, so don't worry about those."

- So bad at customer service. So awkward. Not allowed to take orders unless he knows the person

- Will start dancing on the line when he thinks he's alone. Runs to the back and hides when he realizes a customer was standing at the counter watching him

- Eats a single croissant on his break

- Puts 6 shots of espresso in his drink every day. Lucifer is deeply considering cutting him off

- Won't take a bathroom break until it's an emergency

Satan

- The baker

- Usually opens with Lucifer to catch up on baking. He hates this and ignores Lucifer the whole morning

- Loves to decorate cupcakes and sugar cookies for the holidays/seasons. Always gets compliments on them

- Him and Asmodeus always come up with the specialty drinks every month

- Fights with Diavolo every day about making the coffee shop a cat cafe instead

- Would rather make food orders than coffee orders

- Gets stuck prepping everything

- In charge of inventory orders. Won't even ask anyone to help him because he doesn't trust them to do it right

- Gets so frustrated during rushes

- Will slam things until he's forced to step outside to take a breather

- Will argue with customers if they catch him on a bad day

"Jeez, seven dollars for a latte? Are you kidding me?"

"Well, yeah, it's a dollar-fifty up-charger for oat milk."

"That seems ridiculous!"

"Listen, I don't make the prices, lady, now are you going to give me your money or not?"

Asmodeus

- Employee of the month

- Literally so good at customer service

- Everyone loves working with him because he's constantly getting tipped

- Addresses regulars by name and compliments them

"Liz, did you change your hair? It looks so good!"

*Gasps* "I love your nails! Where do you get them done?"

"Good morning, Ron, are we just doing your small French roast today?"

- Is also confident in his ability to take orders

"Wow, I really am just a delight to talk to."

- Always leaves milk on the counter or forgets to close the fridges after making something

- Keeps forgetting to empty the espresso pucks after pulling. Pisses off Levi to no end

- Likes making cold drinks over hot drinks

- Doesn't even like coffee. Drinks chai lattes almost exclusively

- Flirts with customers

- Refuses to count registers

"Nah, I'm too cute for math 😊"

Beel

- Closing shift manager

- Keeps getting in trouble for sneaking bites of food between orders

Lucifer: "Beel, you cannot keep eating pickles out of the container when you're not wearing gloves that's cross contamination."

"Try and stop me."

- Every customer's barista crush. He's completely clueless to all advances

- gets hangry and snaps at his coworkers

- eats some pasta salad and is perfectly fine afterwards

- Closing shift always calls on him for customer complaints because he's such a large individual and can be really intimidating

- Will procrastinate the closing list all day and haul ass for the entire last hour to get it done on time

- Holds a lot of grudges against his coworkers but doesn't say anything to avoid conflict

- Will be fine all day but blows up at the slightest inconvenience

- Likes to take the trash out so he can decompress in peace behind the dumpsters

Belphie

- Hates his job

- Only works there because Beel convinced him to apply

- So clumsy

- Always spills drinks

- Won't argue with customers but glares at them from across the counter

- Counts registers at the end of the night

- Complains about everything

- Wants to start the closing list five hours before the cafe even closes

- Will purposefully mess up drinks for customers he doesn't like

"One Soy latte. You're all set." *Under his breath* "Joke's on you, bitch, that was 2%."

- Talks about putting in his two weeks every month but never actually does it

- Always forgets to write dates on items he opens

Diavolo

- The owner, obviously

- Has no idea how to do anything, so he leaves the brunt of cafe work to Lucifer and Barb

- Tried to make coffee for a customer once and forgot to put espresso in it

- Hands things out to the wrong customers, so the boys have to remake orders constantly when Diavolo's working with them

- Has to be restrained from making terrible business decisions

Diavolo: "Hey, what if we did a Bloody Mary bar on the weekends?"

Lucifer: "Not happening."

Diavolo: "Well, it's a good thing I'm the owner and can do whatever I want 😝"

Lucifer: "WE DON'T HAVE A LIQUOR LICENSE."

Diavolo: "Oh... How do you get one of those?"

- Goes on a cruise every month and leaves the cafe to be run by his employees

Barbatos

- Exhausted

- Handles all finances

- Sees a mouse one time and loses his mind

- Clean, clean, cleanCLEANCLEANCLEAN

- Quietly cries while he signs paychecks

- Has a nervous breakdown every time the health inspector stops by

- Stops Diavolo from making OSHA violations

Undateables as customers! (bonus)

Solomon

- Kind of a dick

- Leaves 50 cent tips

- Always complains that his black coffee is too cold

- Will not drink it unless it's 200+ degrees

- Always asks for a sleeve even though he's been told multiple times that it's already built into the cup

Simeon

- Gets a really complicated drink but all the baristas love him so it's okay

- Large iced dirty chai with 2 shots of espresso and oat milk, light ice

- Usually leaves a tip that's more than his drink

- Gossips with everyone that works there

- Super patient no matter how long it takes them to get his order out

- Diavolo keeps trying to give him a job, but Simeon is smart enough to kindly refuse

- Brings his work and sits in the lobby for hours

Luke

- Orders a hot chocolate (frozen or hot depending on the time of year) with whip cream and rainbow sprinkles

- One time he burned his tongue so bad that Lucifer gave him free drinks for a week

- Luke would just put the amount the drink cost into the tip jar instead because he felt bad

"You could pour hot coffee in my lap and I'd probably apologize to you."

- Asked for a job once. Mammon convinced Barb not to hire him on grounds of "he's so annoying."

#obey me! #obey me out of context #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #levi obey me #satan obey me #asmodeus obey me #beel obey me #belphegor obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me au

[mammondrivesamazdamiata]

Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.

When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”

Diavolo responds:

“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.

Along with how Diavolo describe his father.

It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.

Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.

Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.

That his childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.

The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.

Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.

[mammondrivesamazdamiata]

While I'm on vacation in Mexico, I absolutely have to make headcanon about the boys so here goes nothing :)

Obey Me! Characters as tourists in a foreign country

Lucifer

- did probably too much research before arriving

- is somehow already fluent in the language and acts as the main translator for everyone

- An airport expert

- gets everyone to the loading gates on time or probably hours early

- demands to hold everyone's passports

- has to keep track of everybody's luggage

- probably has some kind of complicated itinerary planned out for every minute of the trip

- stressed but desperately trying to enjoy himself

- at some point will turn off his phone and disappear into a spa to get away from his brothers

Mammon

- a total embarrassment

- dresses shamelessly in touristy garb

- sunglasses all day every day

- has pocketknives in his carry-on that he forgot about, holds everyone up in TSA

- makes everyone late going to the bathroom at the last minute

- falls asleep on the plane instantly

- "are we there yet?"

- fights about room assignments

- always takes the biggest, comfiest bed and refuses to share

- completely destroys the hotel room

- sleeps late ; Lucifer has to drag him out of bed by his ankles every morning

- gets lost easily

- probably drunk

Asmodeus

- airport queen

- comes prepared for anything ; neck pillow, sleep mask, portable charger, drinks, snacks, chap stick

- basically runs a drugstore out of his carry-on

- once at the hotel his first goal is breaking in the jacuzzi

- eats his weight in fruit

- wine drunk

- l o u d

- will probably find himself on a nude beach. with onlookers.

- bathes in spf and only lounges under umbrellas

- you will not find him in the ocean. he doesn't like things touching his feet.

- will be joining Lucifer at the spa

Satan

- will not be enjoying this trip

- just wants to stay in and ignore his brothers

- but he does enjoy swimming

- likes to read under Asmo's umbrella

- probably can't sleep for the first few nights

- gets lost among the locals and somehow makes friends

- "this is my friend Enrique he told me to buy this necklace because it matches my eyes"

- only thing he wants to do is history tours. no one cares.

- gets horribly sunburnt

- mammon slapped him on the back and was immediately punted into the pool

-befriends local cats

Levi

- his carry-on is just full of manga

- pitiful foreign language pronunciation. the hotel staff laughs at him while Lucifer facepalms, but he keeps on trying

- is in swimming trunks the whole trip

- Lucifer and Asmo have to wrestle him out of the water to reapply sunscreen

- all he wants to do is snorkel

- has a tanline in his face from his goggles that Mammon repeatedly roasts him for

- tracks sand everywhere

- Lucifer goes to hang up his trunks to dry and they're just full of seashells

- wears a UV shirt

- really likes building sand castles

- wears water shoes

- gets stung by a jellyfish

Beel

- is visibly upset by the airplane snacks

- gets stopped by TSA for having food in his bag

- immediately heads for hotel buffet

- Lucifer has to stop him from ordering room service constantly

- picks up foreign language surprisingly quickly

- really likes water sports

- absolutely annihilates a group of locals in beach volleyball

- comes in second in the wet t-shirt contest

- rents a jet ski and goes completely insane, zooms by his brothers with Belphie holding on for dear life and screaming at 60 mph

- Asmodeus looks up and sees Beel casually parachuting over the ocean

- crashes at 8pm

- Also likes to make sandcastles

Belphegor

- travelling ruins him

- he's so tired despite sleeping the entire flight

- first thing he does at the hotel is take a nap

- is usually on top of Beel playing chicken

- Beel always drags him along for extreme sports

- Is actually very good at paddle boarding

- loves to boogie board and body surf

- curls up under a towel at the beach and falls asleep in the warm sun

- misses his bed

- refuses to try and speak foreign language out of embarrassment

- loves to order room service dessert with Beel

Diavolo (bonus)

- is here for a good time

- constantly tipsy

- suns out guns out

- came in first in the wet t-shirt contest

- tries to get Lucifer to do shots with him. he succeeds

- sunbathes for hours and never seems to burn

- loves tiki bars

- schedules massages for Lucifer and himself

- on the volleyball dream team with the twins

- down for anything

- graciously tips all of the staff. they love him

- likes to pay for things. buys Asmo new sunglasses and a pucca shell necklace. covers Beel's room service after Lucifer cuts him off

#obey me! #obey me out of context #lucifer obey me #mammon obey me #levi obey me #Satan obey me #asmodeus obey me #beel obey me #belphegor obey me #lord diavolo

[mammondrivesamazdamiata]

Imagine your OTP#33

Person A: Please don't die.

Person B*clearly dying*: Don't tell me what to do.

[mammondrivesamazdamiata]

Obey Me! Characters as American Gen Z Archetypes

I have literally no clue where this came from but a lot of them come from experience so enjoy it pls

LUCIFER 

- the military dude

- you know what i’m talking about

- one of those guys who starts talking about joining the military in like 6th grade and then actually does it, but it’s just lucifer joining dia’s army 

- posts his fitness gains on devilgram 

- looks so good in a uniform

- probably has a really hot motorcycle

- also probably has a devilgram for his motorcycle

- all of his puns are super out-dated and on the cusp of being millennial humor

MAMMON

- one of those friends that asks you to cashapp them for the soap you used at their house after they called you dirty

- really into crypto

- man is INVESTED in stocks

- will NOT shut up about NFTs

- will only listen to podcasts while driving

- has a stupidly modded car that sits four inches off the ground and scrapes the pavement every time you guys pull out of a mcdevil’s drive thru

- says he can play the guitar but only knows the chorus to Africa by Toto

- that friend that always wins on lottery tickets

- loves eminem

LEVI

- ipad kid

- sticky :(

- lucifer had to ban his roblox account due to overspending

- does a really good minecraft villager impression

- does pencil flips badly and drops them in class over and over

- naruto runs

- band kid

- specifically cymbals

- wears crocs/slides without socks

SATAN

- emo

- writes terribly sad poetry and cries about it

- was probably really into creepypastas when he was in middle school

- he pierced his own lip with a sewing needle to get snakebites. they got infected and lucifer forced him to take them out. 

- has probably punched a hole in the wall

- tried to learn how to skateboard to be cool, but he ate shit on a ramp one time and broke his elbow and never picked it up again after that. 

- Trying to get youtube famous:  “my name is satan, the acidbath princess of the darkness” - “and i’m luke”

- went through a goth phase                                                                                                                   

ASMO

- a thot

- posts nudes on public devilgram story

- but they’re really good??

- has another devilgram account for a selling his clothes

- would curl his hair in class

- sprays perfume everywhere

- went overboard with highlighter and overdrew his brows in 2016

- actually such a nice person

- probably got into crystals and spirituality later on

BEEL

- vape master

- they’re also an accessory

- probably has a drawer full of old vape batteries and carts

- disposable vapes everywhere

- he likes the flavored ones

- will do cool smoke tricks for you

- wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat - “where’s my vape??” 

- will swerve off the road digging his hand between the seats to find his vape

- fucks heavy with dojacat

BELPHIE

- a Relatable Teen

- hates life

- a total mess

- sleeps to avoid problems

- has a squishmallow addiction

- wears a snuggie everywhere

- shitposts on ifunny

- watches rick and morty 

- an among us fiend

- is the first one to fall asleep at the sleepover

- probably addicted to tiktok and roblox

#obeyme #obey me #obey me out of context #obeymelucifer #obeymemamon #obeymeleviathan #obeymesatan #obeymeasmodeus #obeymebeel #obeymebelphegor #obeymebrothers #obeyme!

[mammondrivesamazdamiata]