mxtcha-tea - Tumblr blog

mxtcha-tea · 1 year

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Where I've been and where I am now

Alright, please read the pinned post first. That's more important than this.

WARNING; IMPLICATIONS OF SUICIDE

Anyways, hi

Oh gosh, it's been such a long time since I've step foot in here. It's unbelievable that this was here since 2021. But anyway,,,

Hi, I go by citrus now! Not an exciting or groundbreaking name. I decided to change my name, yet again, and just went with citrus. I think its sounds nice? Idk

Alright, back to what I wanted to talk now. So, after this post I sorta got back to reality?? I mean, since I spend most of my time in tumblr back in uh, 2020 to 2021, it kinda became a little place for me to stay in the internet.

But after my leave, I didn't have anything else to hold onto other than trying to keep my grades alive because believe it or not, my grades plummeted after that!! How sweet!!

While the internet has been one of my worst addiction, it was still a place that I'm (fairly) comfortable to be in since I could talk about my interests whenever I want(believe it or not, I have no one to talk to at school, wow, shocker)

And that's where the storm started, I was thinking of not-so-friendly thoughts and attempted, yknow, forever sleeping. I was lost and I was too scared to tell anyone about it.

It went from me thinking of that, and then denying and then telling myself that I only think that way to make myself be pitied and then forget about it and the cycle continues.

That's until around, maybe August 2022, I started to think straight again and tried (emphasis on tried) to make myself better again. There's time it works and didn't but slowly as October came in, I started to feel better.

I still think about forever sleeping but very rarely. And now that my mind is (slightly more) okay now, I wanted to get back here and apologize for my past behavior and for leaving everyone in the dark.

Alright enough about the depressing stuff, I wanna talk about how I am now. Well, I'm good now! Maybe still a little lazy like I was before but nonetheless, I am a-okay

I managed to socialize a bit at school and got myself a friend that I'm more close to than others (technically best friends, but they still don't know a lot about me like how I don't know a lot about them, so there's still a little gap there)

(And if anyone cared enough to know) my main interest as of now is Twisted Wonderland. After the English translation was announced, I went ham and eating up content about twst like it was my last meal.

Anyways, here are more infos that are more than less interesting;

I got myself in reading more literature, whether it's in English or malay tbh

I also got interested in coding and believe it or not, I'm kinda trying to make a game using renpy

I still write and draw thankfully

....i got myself some cat headphones

I have an exam later in uh, I think January so I've been trying to get myself motivated to at least study

And that's about it. And to conclude it all with a question, actually 2 questions

What are you gonna do with this account now?

Well unlike my old account that I deactivated, I'll keep this one up for obvious reasons

Do you have another account on tumblr? (and maybe accounts on other platforms?)

I do have set a new account on tumblr for my twisted wonderland interest. But i'm still trying to fix the theme and clearing my drafts over there so I won't tell the @ for now

And yeah, I do have other accounts on other platforms (but that's a story for another time)

Thank you for reading this all the way through and have a nice day!

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mxtcha-tea · 1 year

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An apology

Yeah, judging from the slightly bigger text above, I think you all know what I'm going to say after this, but nonetheless I'm going to address this now that I had enough time thinking about my life.

First and most importantly, I am very sorry for all the trouble that i've caused back in my old account and this account, and all the things I've said to people. It was really immature of me to do and say such things.

Secondly, I'm sorry for not telling anyone that I was a minor back then. It foolish of me to not address that earlier. So again, I'm sorry for not telling everyone about that and being ignorant about it back then.

And last but not least, I want to apologize to all of my mutuals and anyone who knew about me that got caught up with the troubles. Sorry for all of it and the things i've said.

And again, I am very sorry for all the things I did, that might have or had hurted someone. I've been trying to fix myself, get my life together and be a more responsible person.

I also wanted to address on where I've been these past few months? Years? Idk, but I don't want to include it here since it gives off a bad taste for me. Apologizing before talking about your life like an ignorant person. So, i'll talk about that on another post.

Once again, I am very sorry (also, sorry if it's a little too overbearing to here me say too many "I'm sorry"). Have a nice day everyone

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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literally me;

hi🧍‍♀️✨

I have a feeling that ya'll are about to beat me up, really beat me until i physically turn into a life size garlic bread real good💖💖‼

wth am I saying...

anyway, I just

a

IM SORRY DSHJHDFJHGSDJJDS I SAID THAT I WOULD BE ACTIVE BUT I DIDN'T??? STUPID, ABSOLUTE STUPID HHHH

pls I really jinxed my words didnt I😭😭

i wanted to address this as early as i can but knowing me... you know how it goes

If yall can forgive, then thanks. if not, that's okay, I look like I was in the brink of existence anyway sjhdjsdh (is that even the right word for it????🤨 idk)

second of all, you can already tell that I won't be on tumblr anymore.

Not quiting, more like, uh, appearing once in a blue moon y'know. Just imagine me going out from my hole, offering some crumbs and get back in there, never to be seen again dshshdfgjh

I would be focusing more on drawing but I'll visit tumblr once in a while to either post (long leghted or short ass) fanfic of whatever fandom Im interested at those times and talk to some of you guys (if given the chance)

lastly, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been with me ever since I first started writing on tumblr and I hope you all can have a great day

(CONGRATULATING LIV FOR COMING OUT AS BIZEXUAL‼‼‼<3 ILY (lovingly) MWUAAH KISSIES)

and to everyone that have reached certain goals lately <33 always proud of yall. (unlike ella), I won't really ping everyone (since i don't want to disturb) so I would like to say that this is my farewell then!

see yall soon <3333

-kami/matcha

#uh what #oh what other places imma be at #for posting drawings??#uh oh wiat #i can't hear you #and would you look at that #i need to sleep now #*ascends back to the hell hole*

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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DAY 15

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

#it's the time of the month yalll

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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i just finished sky: children of the light whole story (well, sorta) and i'm just gonna straight up cry, like bawling my eyes out

#it's so good but it really had to be sad eh #—ted.talk

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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i might, i might've just get in trouble later idk, i have a bad feeling that my lie wasn't convincing enough since the fact that i kept denying and stuttering every single time oops

don't you just love it when you're good at lying and at the same time not

#ig you can call me bad liar matcha ayyeee #—ted.talk

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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don't you just love it when you're good at lying and at the same time not

#almost bust up my cover when asked if i had already studied #in which i did not studied cause i don't want to #thank you #they still suspect me or something but eh #—ted.talk

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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beam and violence icons.

• MANGA: Chainsaw Man.

• REBLOG if you USE please! <3

#we love them<3

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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i would like to say that i am yet again changing my theme

#again...#i hate it here #oh well #captain.speaks.🛩

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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iwaizumi just stand still in his place, looking a little bit confused when the beautiful plant was presented to him. he stare at the flower first before looking back at you, also presenting him a warm smile. a few more flowers rested on your other hand, all from different colours and shape,

"is there any occasion for this?" he asked, raising a brow, "nah," you shake your head,

"there's no occasion, i just want to give people flowers. because, why not?" you chuckled to yourself, giving him butterflies in his stomach as a hint of pink dusted his cheeks ever so softly.

you hold out the flower to him, waiting for him to accept your offer. iwaizumi slowly reach out to grab the stem of the flower, lightly brushing his fingers with yours.

it's a daffodil, pretty bright yellow color bouncing the lights of it in its glorious manner. he was snapped a little from his train of thoughts when he hear you quietly mumbled 'thank you'.

and with that, you're already off trying to find someone else to give your flowers to. he watches you from the distance, not realizing his skin is now burning bright red.

"hm, iwa-chan, what's with the flowers?"

oikawa asked, feeling a little confused on why iwaizumi have a bouquet of flower securely wrapped in his hand. he didn't bother looking at oikawa as he speed walked towards your classroom with his face lighting up.

both from the heat of the day and, from what he's about to do, "i'm falling in love,"

he slip out without even noticing it as he's too busy thinking of what to tell you when he hand the bouquet to you later,

"oh, okay- HOLD ON A SECOND-"

#yeah this is a pretty lazy drabble but what else could i have offer? 😔#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu drabbles #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi drabble #iwaizumi x reader

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mxtcha-tea · 3 years

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Okay 👌🏻 😘

Here’s your reward(?) lol—