#well it does give me flashbacks but now i miss those times :(

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

May I ask why you dislike Malleus so much?

[My TWST character tier list is here.]

[For context on why I dislike Malleus: here and here!]

Many of the reasons previously cited above are still applicable presently (though some points may be outdated since those posts were written before book 7). In this post, I will mostly be focusing on why my thoughts on Malleus have not changed despite the new added content of book 7.

I ramble on for a bit, so I put my thoughts below the cut! Ah—but before you read, please be aware that these are my opinions and not meant to be disparaging to any Malleus likers out there.

Me disliking him should not take away any of your joy!! Go out there and love him for me ^^

A lot of the things happening in book 7 were a long time coming, so really I felt as though Malleus finally “losing it” was affirming of all the red flags from before. Since day 1, his loneliness, aloofness, and awkwardness around his peers were key traits of his. What book 7 does is it magnifies the darkest aspects of his character.

We’ve seen several examples when Malleus has fits of rage and his power flares out of control or he at least threatens it. In Glorious Masquerade, he becomes enraged at the realization that the invitation he received was a false one. In A Firelit Sky, he insinuates that he would be upset if people questioned his presence for the trip. He crushes Lilia’s phone in his own Dorm Uniform vignettes, destroying a friend’s belonging because he was upset about not being invited to an occasion. In book 7, we see a flashback of Malleus freezing the whole castle as a child because his grandmother, overtaken by her duties, could no longer dine with him as promised. Malleus’s temper has been a persistent issue since childhood.

We’ve also seen him act callously toward his classmates and misuse magic to force his will upon them. Remember him stopping time during Endless Halloween Night? How he wanted some ghosts to enjoy themselves instead of missing out on being with everyone for the holiday? Now he’s stopping time in book 7 and keeping everyone in their happy dreams forever. Remember how (in his Dorm Uniform vignettes) Malleus thought it would be easier to make the other dorm leaders come to him instead of him coming to them for their meeting? So then he disregards their autonomy and casts magic that’s normally cast on objects on living beings (something which the other dorm leaders take offense to, as it is dehumanizing). He fails to consider their perspective when he returns to Diasomnia (he basically goes, “well, I wouldn’t have been mad if they cast that spell on me!”). Malleus learns nothing from the experience despite Lilia trying to tell him over and over to be more considerate of others and how different they are from him. Now we have Malleus relating his peers to a virtual pet that he never ever wants to leave him.

Malleus can be stubborn and arrogant. He has a very single-minded way of thinking and often does not consider others’ feelings before he makes the decision for them. Malleus can be insecure. He doesn’t even fully realize he is lonely until Yuu suggests it in book 7, but he’s capable of acting on his bouts of intense emotion. He has always had these flaws, and now they are being brought out in full; we’re being forced to confront OB Malleus and all the complicated, twisting feelings of abandonment that come with him.

Let’s make one thing very clear: I don’t take issue with the overblot boys in general; they are meant to be morally grey characters that act in dubious ways. It would be insincere for me to claim “I dislike Malleus because he did bad things!” News flash, many TWST characters have done bad things or at least questionable things that would give you pause. What separates Malleus from the others and makes him egregious enough to earn significant ire from me is the particular actions he takes (which triggers a personal disdain of mine).

Malleus consistently exerts a scary amount of control over others. This is not a new idea; Riddle and Vil are also notorious for being oppressive or controlling, and I’ll be the first to admit that. (You’ll note that those two are low on my tier list too.) The thing is, Riddle and Vil were very overt and open about their demands for obedience. Malleus can be too, but it’s so insidious how he acts within the dreams. He ignores people’s autonomy, gaslights others, and, again, acts like he knows what’s best for them 💀 Other characters have done these things too, but never to the same scale or by exerting this much power. Malleus then resorts to violence when his lies don’t work, even though he’s fully aware of the power disparity between him and his peers. It feels particularly scummy to me because of how Malleus frames his selfish actions and feelings (his wish for Lilia to not leave) as selfless (for the benefit of his peers) and something everyone else would want in order to justify it to himself 💦 I know he is in (or bordering on) overblot so he wasn’t thinking rationally at that point, plus the fact that many examples I listed come from events or vignettes which may not be canon to the main story timeline. Still, there is a concerning pattern of behavior with Malleus misusing his powers or not being considerate of others and failing to grow from those mistakes. You can only go “oopsie” so many times before you harm someone by accident. I expect people to learn their lesson by then and adopt some proper restraint. He keeps claiming his intentions are good as if that’s supposed to dismiss any harm that results from his actions??? No, his actions still harmed people and he has to deal with the consequences of them, not have them hand-waved away or excused. The behavior I’m witnessing is reminiscent of like… having a toxic friend that is constantly told “hey, what you’re doing/saying makes me feel uncomfortable; do you think you could dial it back?” and the friend tells you they’ll try but then never actually changes their behavior or defends their behavior with “I didn’t mean to, so therefore I did not actually harm anyone”.

You can give me a backstory, but a backstory only goes so far as explaining why he is the way he is; it does not excuse him at all. You can say “He’s a fairy! He’s sheltered!” until the cows come home, but when he relies on magic to quickly fix the problems he caused instead of stopping to genuinely reflect on why people are mad at him, it’s hard for me to sympathize. Because of his immense power and status, the only person that can reasonably hold Malleus accountable is himself, and he has not demonstrated to me that he can do that.

Book 7 is essentially the payoff for allllll the tropes and traits I never liked to begin with coming into fruition. That’s why Malleus has stayed where he is in my TWST character ranking. I did not expect the writing, no matter how good or tear-jerking, to change that. Until Malleus shows that he’s fully apologetic, recognizes the error of his ways, and consciously tries to connect with others and understand their perspectives, he’s staying squarely where he is.

Am I saying a character with flaws is a bad thing? No, absolutely not! Flaws are what make a character interesting, I’m not faulting Malleus or any other characters for having them. Am I saying that he is poorly written? No, I think Malleus is actually quite a complex character and he’s been really fascinating to follow. I love the emotional complexity of book 7–and it was so clever how the devs related his virtual pet to wishing for happily ever afters for people in his real life. This magnitude of danger is also just about what I expect of book 7 and the themes of togetherness that TWST was angling for from the start. But the fact remains unchanged that I perceive his attitude as irritating at best and reprehensible at worst.

My distaste for Malleus is based entirely on my own views and life experiences. The specific flaws Malleus has and how he acts because of them don’t sit well with me and the kinds of things I enjoy in fiction. It’s not anything deeper than that!

#twst #twisted wonderland #Malleus Draconia #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #book 7 spoilers #notes from the writing raven #question #Riddle Rosehearts #Vil Schoenheit #Lilia Vanrouge #a firelit sky spoilers #glorious masquerade spoilers #malleus dorm uniform vignette spoilers #endless halloween night spoilers #Yuu

[jaykaysthicthighs]

End Of The Love Story | JJK

banner by @archivededits via @archivedkookie <3

excerpt | you fell in love with the new kid in class. the love blossomed to something so beautiful and yet so destroying. you destroyed him. years later and you both finally crossed paths. will there ever be a chance for that love to grow again?

genre | major angst, slight smut, minor fluff

pairing | jeon jungkook x fem!reader

warnings | bartender!jungkook, rich!reader, flashbacks between past and present, arranged marriage, strong language, emotional breakdowns, smoking, short descriptive smut, reader & jungkook hurting a lot, bittersweet ending

wc | 12k +

notes | the story is unedited, but hopefully there isn't grammar mistakes

Eight years ago (the first meeting)

You watched as the small timid boy make his way next to you. When he fully sat down, you finally took a good look at him. He was beautiful. From his big doe eyes to his well-sculpted chin. He had a long nose, but kissable; lips that pout when not intended, pink and soft. He has a mole under his lips, a scar on his cheek, and his skin was -

"I'm sorry, is there something on my face?" The boy interrupted your train of thought. You blurted out, "No. I'm sorry, that I was staring at you. Didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." The boy notices a tinge of red surfacing your cheeks. At that moment, embarrassment made a home in you. The boy reassured you that it was okay. He wondered about your name, “My name’s Jungkook. You?” With your cheeks still red, you answered, “____.” The boy smiled warmly at you, “____, that’s a pretty name.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden action. You faced forward trying to redirect your attention to the teacher, but all you could think of was the smile the boy displayed; the dimples making their debut, and its bunny-like appearance.

Present

You were finally free. Free of this marriage that has been brought upon you. Just an hour or so ago you were Mrs. Boyce, now you're not. You have been waiting for this moment for so long, and it's finally done.

You were making your way to your car when someone pulled you aside. You came face to face with your ex-husband. "Mason, what's wrong?" The man let go of your arm and hugged you. He quietly murmured, "Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to hug you one last time before I go." Even though you despised this marriage, you never hated Mason, actually, he was your rock. All those nights, days, and moments you had wanting him, missing him, needing him, Mason was always there comforting you. Just like you, Mason hated this marriage.

You hugged Mason for the last time. Tears started welling up, and you sniffled to him, "Thank you so much, Mason. For being there for me when I had no one." He gave you a big squeeze for your welcome. A few seconds later, the hug ended. Mason placed his hands between your chilled face and expressed, "I'll always be there for you, ____. Not physically, but.... spiritually?" You had your head leaned back laughing at his confusion. "Please, don't be afraid to give me a call." You shook your head and gave him your response, "I won't. Be safe, Mason." Your ex-husband gave you his infamous grin. "Will do."

You're here in a club called Jessamine with your best friend Becky. She wanted to celebrate your freedom by trying to get you laid, and part of that plan was going to a club. She dressed you up in skimpy lingerie that could pass as a dress. The outfit barely covers your ass; one wrong move and you can flash the whole club. If it was your choice, a nice knee-high bodycon dress would be great, but things never work out in your favor.

About 30 minutes into dancing and all you wanted right now was a cold hard drink. You turned to Becky shouting your departure, "Beck, I'm gonna go get a drink!" Still dancing she gave you a thumbs up. "Try finding a hot man to fuck, babe!" You laughed sarcastically, "Yeah, sure."

This club was jammed packed, with no room for movement. You pushed and shoved your way through the crowd until you finally reached the bar. You sat between a woman who looked like she was in her 40s and the other who was accompanied by a man, probably a couple. A bartender came up to you; his figure was tall but lean, had a goatee, and green eyes. He was quite handsome to you.

The bartender plopped his hands on the ledge of the counter and inquired, "Is there anything I can get you, ma'am?" You gasped; you placed your hand to your heart, "Ma'am? Do I look old?" The man before you chuckled, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I didn't want to address you something that you might not like.... like pretty lady." You smile at the man and asked for his name. "Carter," he replied.

"Well Carter, I would like a Vodka Gimlet - if that's possible." The bartender straightened himself up and responded, "Don't worry it is." You smiled and watched the man get to work. A few moments later the bartender offered you your drink. "Thank you, Carter."

He gave you a nod and did a light slap on the counter. "Well, I'm gonna go on my break. If you need anything," the man pointed at the other bartender a few chairs away, "Teo, would be able to help you." You gave the man a thumbs up and said, "Okay. Thank you again, Carter." You watch the man make his way to the back door.

He swung the door open, startling two people. "What the fuck, Carter! I'm doing something here." Carter leaned against the brick wall and dug in his pocket and took out a cigarette. "Yeah, I can see that. Now do you have a light?" The man beside him groaned, "I hate you sometimes." He pushed the girl off of him signing her to go back inside. The man reached inside his back pocket and lit Carter's cigarette.

Carter inhaled the stick and let out a puff of smoke. He dropped his hand down and asked, "Who's the chick?" The man shrugged, "Don't know. Just grabbed the nearest girl and dragged her out here." A moment of silence was taken, the only sound heard was the busy streets at the front of the club.

The man pushed himself off the wall and made his way to the door, but before he had the chance to go back inside, Carter intervened, "Ah Jay, there's this hot chick at the bar. I don't know if she's taken or not, but she is by herself. Kind of thought you when I saw her." The man cocked his head to the side, "What are you saying?" Carter smirked at the man, "What I'm saying is that maybe you should try and get her number." The man opened his mouth to say something, but Carter stopped him, "If you're thinking about what she looks like, you'll know when you see her. Now get the fuck inside, your shift is starting."

The man grumbled at the thought of Carter. "Asshole. Fucking interrupting me." He sulked his way to the bar getting ready for his shift. Teo greeted him, giving the man a quick fist bump. He stationed himself and got ready to take a customer's order.

"Hello, sir. Anything I can get you?" And right before he could get the man's order, he heard a familiar laugh. He whipped his head in the direction of the sound, and his heart dropped. Just sitting a few chairs away was the woman who broke him.

He wanted to run, to hide, he would do anything to be away from you. He was frozen in fear, shaking from the inside out. "Hey!" The customer shouted, "Hello, are you listening? I want my fucking drink now!"

You heard the commotion a few feet away from you. And since you're human, you were curious. You turned your attention away from Becky and to the shouting. What you saw was something you didn't expect in a million years, Jeon Jungkook. The boy you fell in love with, the man you're still in love with.

You guys made eye contact; an unspeakable feeling of confusion running wild. You got up, ignoring the weird stare from Becky, but before making any movements toward Jungkook, he ran. You saw him run through the back door, pushing everybody without care.

Taking the first step to him, Becky uttered, "Where are you going?" She had her hand wrapped around your arm. You gently pushed them off and said, "I'll be right back." Before Becky had the chance to say something you speed walked your way to the door.

Just mere feet away from the exit, it swung open. Carter stepped into the club reeking of Tobacco. You were surprised by the sudden appearance. "Cater!" He gave a tight-lipped smile, wondering what you were doing back here. "Ma'am, you're not supposed to go back here."

As a response, you frantically explained, "I'm sorry. I'm very sorry, but someone I know went back here, and I haven't seen them in years." Carter furrowed his brows; he asked, "Do they work here?" You swallowed in some air and took a deep breath. "Umm... I think so. His name is Jungkook." Carter was getting confused by the second; he's never heard of that name before. He apologized, "I'm sorry, who?"

You were getting impatient with Carter. So, you pushed him aside, not caring about if you were being rude or not. You busted the door open and saw him crouched down with his face between his hands. The door slammed shut, startling you. You looked at the man in front of you with much sadness. With a heavy heart, you whispered, "Jungkook."

The screaming wind drowned out your voice, but even so, he heard. It's been two years since he last heard your voice, two years since he heard his name leave your lips. He slowly lifted his head up, and you saw his tear-stained face staring at you. Your heart stopped at the look he was giving you; hatred was all he was displaying. You wish to take all his pain and throw it at the nearest star, but you couldn't, especially since you were the cause of it.

Jungkook stood up, and you noticed how his build got bigger. He was definitely working out. You were never scared him, however, right now you were. He was not the same man as before - you know that, but you still hoped he hadn't changed.

Jungkook on the other hand, thought the opposite; you had gotten smaller. Not physically, but mentally. Your aura seemed scared and quiet, a complete 180 from before. He wanted to hold you - protect you, but he wouldn't. Jungkook could never forget what you did to him.

He laced his tongue with venom, and spat out, "Why the fuck are you here?" You flinched at his words. You deserve it - you know you deserve it, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Your heart started beating faster, and you tried controlling your breathing, but one could know that you were having a hard time keeping calm. You put your shaky hand to your heart and trembled, "I didn't know you worked here. I came here with my friend to celebrate."

Jungkook stayed quiet and you took that as a sign to continue on, "I came here to celebrate my divorce." Jungkook was taken aback by your sentence. Divorce... it ranged in his head. He'd never thought you would get a divorce. "You got a divorce?" You nodded shyly, "This morning actually. Everything was done and finalized this morning."

Jungkook gulped down some spit he didn't know he was harboring. He wanted to be happy, he was waiting for this moment, but he couldn't find it in himself to be. Jungkook took a few steps back, giving himself more space. You stood there watching him pondering his thoughts.

You took this time to fully analyze him. His hair was longer, reaching close to his shoulders, almost in a mullet style. Two piercings were placed on his face, and tattoos littered his right arm; knuckles all the way up to his shoulder. It's only been two years; how did his appearance change so much? Never once has Jungkook said anything about getting facial piercings or tattoos. At this moment, you wanted the old Jungkook back. You were selfish - so selfish; you have no right to think that, but you couldn't help it.

"Why'd you come here to celebrate? Ready to find a new man for you to break?" You scoffed at his questions, "Are you serious?" Jungkook knew he was being mean, but he didn't care. "Of course, I'm being serious. You broke it off with me easily, and then you got married - only for you to divorce two years later. And what's the first thing you do... you go to a fucking club! Single people go to clubs to get fucking drunk and sleep with people they don't even know."

You felt your heart swell with pain; you felt so offended. "Is that what you think I am? A slut?" Jungkook seemed unfazed by your pain. He shrugged his shoulders and remarked, "I don't know, it's been two years. You could be... I mean look at the fucking outfit you're wearing. It's like you're asking for it." You slapped him; you have never slapped Jungkook before. And without a second thought, your tears came streaming down. Jungkook watched you as you tried wiping them away. The tears and snot came running down; you were hiccupping and whimpering at the pain Jungkook shoved at you.

For a split second, Jungkook regretted his words, but he shook off the thought. If he was a monster, his only reason would be that you made him into one.

Still crying, you bellowed out, "Yeah, you're right! It has been two years. Because in just that period, you've become someone unrecognizable! An asshole!" You dropped down to the cold and dirty concrete floor and wailed. You didn't care if people were to hear you; you didn't care if people thought you were crazy. All that you could care for, and feel was the immense agony shooting throughout your body. "And to think I still love you!"

Jungkook felt himself staggering; he was angry about what you said. He growled out, "Love? You say you love me, but you left me! You left our relationship! You left everything! You left our five years of love so quickly... so easily. I have every right to be a fucking asshole, ____! I fought for us when you didn't."

You shot your head up, and yelled, "You're wrong!" Jungkook started laughing. He bent down to your level and challenged you. "I'm wrong?" You threatened back, "You're wrong. I did fight for us." You sent glares at Jungkook, as he did too. No words were exchanged, but the spitefulness radiated off of each other.

A few seconds later, Jungkook got up. He looked down at you and decided, "I'm not gonna fight with you. Everything that has happened is in the past." He started making his way to the door, but before he placed his hand on the knob, he added, "But know this, ____, you're fucking dead to me." And with that, he left you alone on the cold April night.

Seven years ago (the confession)

Jungkook was sitting in his car, waiting patiently for your tutoring to end. He had his head resting on the steering wheel contemplating whether he should tell you his feelings or not. He's been thinking about it for three weeks and thought today is the day, but like a lot of people, he has the last-minute jitters.

When the anxiety became unbearable, Jungkook stepped out of his car to take a breath of fresh air. He took deep breaths to calm his racing heart. He dug in his pocket to check the time on his phone; four more minutes till you're out. He spent the next minute stretching for reasons he doesn't know. When he got back in the car, he downed the leftover water from earlier and threw the empty plastic in the back.

A few moments later and you were finally exiting the school, along with a few other people. Jungkook watched the way you smiled at the girl next to you, deep in the conversation. It made his heart warm seeing you smile.

You made your way to his car, exhaling the tiredness from today. You swiftly turned your body to give Jungkook a hug. With your body fully back on the seat, you sighed, "Thank you, Jungkook, for picking me up." He gave you a small smile, "No worries." You buckled yourself, ready to be taken home, but you noticed that Jungkook hadn't made the slightest move to leave. "Jungkook, are you okay?" He turned to you and whispered, "I umm... have something I want to say to you."

You got a little worried that something might've happened. "What is it? Are you okay?" Jungkook shook his head at your questions; he informed, "I'm okay. Nothing to worry about," he took a deep breath and continued, "I have just been feeling something for a while now, and I thought today should be a good time to tell you." You gave Jungkook a look to tell him to continue.

When Jungkook opened his mouth, all that came out was a shaky breath. He brought his head down from embarrassment, "I'm sorry." You giggled at his nervousness. You grabbed his hands and assured him, "It's okay. Take all the time you need." Jungkook took another deep breath, and screwed his eyes shut, scared of what facial expression you were to make; he admitted, "____, I like you... like really like you." You let go of Jungkook's hands, causing his eyes to open. He spouts out, "It's fine if you can't replicate my feelings back! I just don't wan-"

You grabbed Jungkook's face between your hands and cut him off with a kiss, and just as quickly you pulled apart. Jungkook was in a state of shock, he didn't know what happened, or why it happened. Since your hands still held Jungkook's face, you gently caressed his cheeks to bring him back down to earth. You softly spoke, "I can replicate your feelings back. I like you, Jungkook - possibly even more than you do."

Jungkook's eyes bugged out from your confession. Never in a million years would he think you had feelings for him. He pointed to himself, "Me? You like me?" You took your hands off his face and waved them around, "I like you, Jungkook! Ever since you transferred to my class, I have liked you severely. Was my kiss not obvious?" Jungkook starts chuckling at the turn of events; he rubbed his face and said, "I'm sorry, I just... Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think this would happen?" You smiled at his words, "Neither did I."

You guys got quiet, the awkward tension swimming throughout the car. Jungkook took the initiative to cut the tension, "Well," he kissed his teeth, "Since we like each other, we should kiss... again." You have never smiled more widely until today. "It's your turn to kiss me, Jungkook."

He gently took his hands to hold your face, and slowly but surely, he closed the gap. Your lips brushed against his, in a teasing manner. Jungkook didn't want to waste any more time, so he crashed his lips to yours. You guys kissed ever so slowly; reeling in the feeling of being wanted. You were the one to pull away first; you breathlessly spoke, "God, how can you hold your breath for that long?"

Jungkook chuckled at your question. He leaned his forehead to yours, staring deeply into your eyes. He feels like he could get lost in them and he wouldn't mind. He whispered, "I like you, ____." You gave him another kiss, and responded, "As do I, Jungkook."

Present

It's been a week since the event with your ex-boyfriend. It took you a fat minute to go back inside. When you did, you tried your hardest to avoid Jungkook, but of course, since he worked there avoiding him was not possible. Carter, on the other hand, went up to you, asking if you were okay, but you shrugged him off. You reached Becky demanding that you wanted to go home; she complied with your request.

Here you are with Becky out on your terrace smoking. You used to hate the idea of smoking, the burning sensation, the horrible smell of Tobacco, but since the break-up with Jungkook, you fell down the rabbit hole of cigarettes. You used to smoke one pack every two days, but it subsided to one pack a week.

Right now, you were feeling very serene. The cold harsh wind screaming in your ears, it was burning your eyes, and stabbing your skin; it felt nice. It made you forget the pain you were feeling inside. Becky was talking to you, but her voice went in one ear and out the other. You were just focusing on letting yourself get lost in this freezing pain. The only time you felt alive was when you suffer. You think to yourself that this is what you deserve, that everything you did should come back to you ten times worse.

Becky was getting concerned about your lack of attention. She was talking about how horrible the weather was right now; she expected your usual sarcastic remark, but you didn't give any. She turned to you, analyzing the way you were engulfed in this harsh weather. She saw the way you stared blankly with your teary eyes at the busy city. She saw the little goosebumps littering your skin. Your hair blowing in every direction, not caring for the tangles it's making. The firing cigarette getting close to your fingers. She saw nothing but a shell of her best friend.

Becky hadn't known you for very long, two years to be exact. She was Mason's coworker; they were in the same law firm. You met her when you were visiting Mason one day, and from then on, she became your best friend. She gets worried about you, knowing that the majority of your pain consists of your broken love. Becky only knows briefly about what happened that night; she wanted to know more, but she respects your boundaries, so, she never pushed the topic.

Becky tapped your shoulder, lightly shouting so you can hear her voice in the loud wind. "____, your cigarette is about to be out! Throw it away and let's get back inside!" You blinked away your tears, and promptly threw your cigarette in the ashtray.

"What the fuck! You wasted a good piece of cigarette, Jay." Jungkook just waved off Cater's complaint. "Yeah, whatever. I don't give a shit. It's mine, not yours." Jungkook and Carter were seated in the clubs' break room. Their shifts usually started at the same time, so they always take their breaks together.

Ever since that night, Jungkook has been on edge. He thought that you had moved away, but since his encounter with you, he's now rethinking that you hadn't left at all. Seeing you definitely brought back memories that Jungkook tried so hard to avoid. The pain you had caused resurfaced and immersed his heart with agony. Right when he thought he finally healed, your pretty face came and ripped off his band-aid.

Carter interrupted Jungkook's train of thought. "Damn, Jay. Crankier than usual?" Instead of responding back, Jungkook threw his head back on the leather couch. He didn't really have the energy to converse with Carter. If he didn't have work, he would've spent a year hiding out in his apartment avoiding everyone and everything, but he didn't have that luxury.

Carter was very persistent in making conversation. "So, Jungkook is your real name? And you didn't think of telling me? Your best friend?" Jungkook swiftly raised his head at Carter's question. He remarked, "Don't fool yourself, Carter. We're not friends." Carter felt hurt by Jungkook's words but choose not to show it. Jungkook continued, "The reason why I didn't tell you my name was because I didn't want to be tied down to my past."

"Past?" Carter questioned. Jungkook dug in his pocket for another cigarette to smoke. He lit it up and took a hit. "I never really cared for my name. I didn't really like it, but I didn't really hate it. It wasn't until this girl came along that I started loving my name - only when she said it. Hearing my name leave her lips made my stomach do flips. One day she ended things, and my name just started to sound horrible to hear. So, that's why I changed it to, Jay."

Everything stayed quiet after Jungkook's confession. Carter didn't know what to say. He wanted to lighten up the mood and make Jungkook slightly happy, but he was scared that whatever left his mouth, the man in front of him would shoot him the meanest glare, and Carter was a sensitive man.

Minutes go by until their shift starts. Before exiting, Carter wanted to say at least something to the broken man. He halted Jungkook's walking, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jungkook turned to Carter with a puzzled look. Carter spoke, "Jay's not a bad name. I quite like the name." Jungkook gave Carter a tight-lipped smile and nodded. He left the break room with a lone Carter inside.

Seven years ago (the first night)

You had arrived at Jungkook's house for a sleepover. You and Jungkook have been dating for seven months, and he thought today was the day you could finally stay over at his house. You actually wanted to stay over at his early on in the relationship, but Jungkook informed you that he wasn't ready yet. Jungkook wanted things to go nice and slow; he was afraid that if things were to be rushed everything would fall apart. You understood his reasons; you took things nice and slow just like he wanted.

You entered his house; it was small but cozy. His house felt like a home, just the feeling the house gives makes you feel at peace. You looked around the place, admiring the family pictures, drawings, and even the little trinkets displayed on top of the T.V. Everything insight made your heart warm.

Jungkook on the other hand, was nervous. He knows that his place is far more different than yours. You had been born with a silver spoon in your mouth; everything was handed to you, even without asking. As he watched you look around the place, Jungkook was sweating profusely. He was scared that you would leave him because of how poor he was compared to you.

Jungkook trembled, "I know this isn't much. I know how ugly this is to you, but I hope that you won't leave me." You flipped towards your boyfriend. You were flabbergasted that he would think that. Everything that he had said was the opposite of what you were thinking. You threw yourself on his soft brown couch cuddling with one of the throw pillows. Jungkook walked in front of you, and you gave him a bright smile.

You chuckled, "Babe, this house is beautiful, not ugly. It isn't much but it's definitely something amazing." You grabbed his arms, discarding the pillow, and pulled him towards you. "I could never leave you because of how much or little money you have. Jungkook, I'm with you because of who you are. And you are someone worth treasuring." Jungkook's heart has never felt so full. He kissed your forehead, "My heart is full of you, I can't even call it my own."

As your response, you gently grabbed his face and kissed like it was the last. He held your waist and gripped you closer to him. There was no room in between you two. Things started escalating when you began unbuttoning Jungkook's shirt. He pulled away the second he felt your fingertips brush against his chest. You were startled by the action; you felt that you had done something bad.

You felt your eyes slightly tear up, but Jungkook was quick to assure you that it was nothing wrong. "Baby, don't be sad. I just think that we shouldn't be doing this in the living room." At first, you were confused by his statement, but then your eyes lit up by his meaning. You blushed and Jungkook smiled at your cheeks. "Let's take this in my bedroom, yeah?" You had never nodded your head this hard until right now.

Jungkook chuckled at your cuteness; you never fail to make him smile. He picked you up like you weighed nothing. You wrapped your legs around his torso, and your arms around his neck. Jungkook had his hands resting on the bottom of your ass, keeping you in place. He marched his way to his room, all while keeping his eyes on yours. You would usually feel nervous about the intense eye contact, but at this moment you were too lost in his big brown eyes. He looked at you with so much longing, and you loved that feeling.

Once he reached his room, Jungkook placed you on the bed and said, "I am so glad my parents aren't here today." He climbed on top of you, caging you in between his toned arms. "So, don't be quiet for me. Never be quiet for me." You were stunned by the words that had left your boyfriends' lips. It was like a different person entered his body. It was hard to muster any type of word, so you just nodded.

Jungkook can see that you were speechless by his behavior. He was actually having fun doing this to you. He wanted to push you even further, so, Jungkook slipped his hand underneath your shirt and inside your bra to lightly brushed his fingers on your hard bud. He saw your mouth go agape; he ordered, "Use your words, baby. I wanna hear you." You can see the mischievous glint along with lust swimming in his eyes. You cleared your throat and shakingly said, "I won't be quiet for you. I'll let you hear all of me."

Jungkook smirked, "That's my girl." He dived his head to your neck and sucked your soft skin. The hand that had brushed against you was now needing the plump area. "Ahh... babe." you moaned at the sensation. Jungkook unclasped his mouth from your neck, admiring the painting he had done. He licked the area grinning. When he had lifted his head back, he already saw the dazed look on your face.

Jungkook caressed your cheeks tenderly. "Why do you already look a bit fucked out, babe? I haven't done anything yet?" You grabbed a hold of his shirt and said, "It feels good." Jungkook chuckled. God, you were too adorable. You tried unbuttoning his shirt again, but Jungkook just swiftly took it off. You straight away raked your fingers along his abs. The feathering touch made Jungkook lightly flex his abs. "Aren't you a little horny?" You blushed from embarrassment at his words. You pinched his skin, "Shut up."

Jungkook grabbed a hold of your arms and placed them above your head. "Spread your legs, baby." And like a dog, you did what you were told. You watched Jungkook position himself between your legs; he was slowly grinding against your clothed pussy. You bite your lip, containing your moans. Jungkook saw the way you try quieting yourself. He released one of his hands away from your pinned arms, dragging your bottom lip down with his thumb. He groaned at you, "____, I said to never be quiet for me. So, stop biting your lips and moan for me, baby."

You released one sinful moan for your lover. He wasn't even inside you yet, but you already felt like cumming. Jungkook fully let go of your arms, and instead, he ripped open your shirt. You gasped at the action, "Jungkook! Babe, I liked that shirt." Jungkook unhooked your bra and threw it on the floor. "I'll buy your another one, baby. Now lift up your hips." You really didn't know what it was, but every time Jungkook demanded something, you would always be compliant.

He took off your shorts along with your underwear, and just like your bra, he discarded them on the floor. You laid bare in front of Jungkook's eyes. You looked ethereal to him like you were an angel living down on earth. Your hair was sprawled out on his sheets, your skin shining even though there was no sun, your legs wide open giving him a view of your pretty pussy, your breasts laid beautifully on your chest, and your face stared back at him with devotion. They say that nothing in this world is perfect, but to Jungkook you were the definition of prefect.

You stared at him while he took off his pants. You saw the outline of his thick cock, bulging on his boxers. You couldn't tear your eyes away; Jungkook noticed. He grabbed one of your hands and placed it on his hard-on, gently rubbing himself on your hand. Jungkook exhaled and said, "You feel how hard I am for you, baby?" You licked your lips and meekly whispered, "Yes."

He placed your hand back by your side and bent down to you. His lips hovering above yours. "Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it." You lifted up your pelvis, it was your turn to grind yourself on his clothed cock. You breathlessly spoke, "I want you to fuck me, but I want it slow." Jungkook groaned at your words.

He slipped out of his boxers and his cock sprung free. It hit you right on your clit, making you jolt. Before Jungkook could continue, he reached behind you, and right beside his bed was a small dresser. He dug into one of the drawers and pulled out a condom. Jungkook took off the plastic and tapped the rubber piece on your lips. He grinned, "Do you wanna put this on me, babe?"

You sat up and took the condom from your boyfriend. You had your eyes locked on his cock. It might've been weird to voice out, but Jungkook's cock was really pretty. His shaft was slightly lighter than his skin, and his tip was pretty pink. You could see the feint veins that circled his member, and he wasn't hairy, just a slightly shaven area that resided on top. You could see some pre-cum leaking out of him. He was pretty thick and long, you would've guessed him to be around eight inches.

You swallowed some air before you proceeded. You took him in one of your hands and placed the rubber on his tip. You tried sliding it down, but since your hand was too shaky it kept coming back up. Jungkook had seen your nervousness. He gently grabbed your hand, and he worried to you, "Need help, baby?"

You shot up at him and quickly replied, "No!" In the midst of your answer, you had gripped your boyfriend too hard. "Shit, babe! Not too hard, please?" You were quick to release him from the stronghold. You apologized, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I don't need help. I can do this." Jungkook nodded and copied back, "You can do this."

You tried sliding the condom back down again, and thankfully this time it stayed in place. You smiled at Jungkook like a kid who aced their pop quiz. He chuckled, "God, ____. Can you get any cuter?"

Jungkook looped one arm around your torso, slowly bringing you back down on the bed. He positioned himself back between your legs again and gently slid his cock between your folds. His movement sent tidal waves through your body. You moaned out, "Fuck, Jungkook. It feels good, but I want you in me." Jungkook placed his cock right at your entrance. He said, "If it hurts tell me, okay? I'll go slow like you want." You nodded.

You hugged your boyfriend readying yourself. Jungkook had licked his fingers, lubing you up. He slowly entered you, feeling your warm walls caging him tightly. Your arms around Jungkook tightened. It didn't hurt having him inside you. You have a dildo, so the feeling was nothing new. But this was your first time having other than a toy inside you. You softly moaned once he was fully inside, Jungkook as well. His mouth was right next to your ear. When you heard him groan it made your mind hazy.

"Am I hurting you, baby?" You shook your head at his question, but Jungkook wanted words. "I need to hear you say it." You murmured your words lowly, "No, you're not hurting me."

"I'm gonna move now, alright?"

"Alright."

Jungkook started slipping in and out of you. You created wetness, making it easier for him to not hurt you. It felt nice, but you wanted him to go deeper. You rasped out, "Deeper, Jungkook. I want it deeper." And that's what he did. Jungkook had reached deeper inside you, hitting your G-spot. Your body thrust up, touching your boyfriends' chest. "Shit!" you cried out.

Jungkook smirked to himself. Seeing you like this, only wanted him to go harder - faster. Placing you back down, he grunted, "Baby, can I go faster? Please?" You wanted to please your boyfriend like he was doing to you. So, you agreed.

Jungkook lifted up his body and moved you to the edge of the bed. With him standing, he placed your legs straight on his chest. He held your thighs with a firm grip and started thrusting you at a fast pace. Your body started moving up and down, your breasts doing the same.

The room echoed with the slapping of your guy's skin. You watched Jungkook as he fucked you. His head was leaned back; he was immersed in the pleasure. Jungkook was so glad that you are his first. He read online that having sex with someone feels so good, but to him, you felt like heaven.

Jungkook brought back down his head and snuggled between your legs. He rubbed his cheek along your calf. He beamed at you, "You're so precious, baby. So precious." You mimicked back his smile.

Jungkook went back to fucking you, never slowing down his pace. You gripped the sheets of his bed when you started to feel your high coming. Jungkook felt you holding his member hard, not letting him breathe. But he took it as a sign to go faster. When your high reached you, you jerked your body up, your body quivering. You moaned his name repeatedly. You never felt this much pleasure until now. Jungkook sure knows how to make you feel like you were in another world.

Jungkook watched as your body shook. He loved that he was the reason for your undoing. When your high came down, you thought that you guys would be done, but Jungkook had other plans. You gave your boyfriend a puzzling look when you felt that he was still in you. Jungkook cocked his head to the side, "Did you think it was over? Baby, I haven't even cummed yet." Your eyes bugged out.

Just as you were about to say something, Jungkook fucked you hard. He took your breath by surprise. You had just came, so when Jungkook added more pleasure to your sensitive cunt, you couldn't help but cry. You tried telling him to stop or slow down, but you could barely muster up any words.

Jungkook felt himself almost there. With one more thrust, he dropped your legs and collapsed on top of you, riding out his climax. His lips were right next to your ear; he was groaning out incoherent words. You both were out of breath, giving yourselves some time to be composed.

When you guys were finally calm, Jungkook pulled out of you. He discarded his filled condom in the trash. He gently pulled you up and asked, "Do you want to bathe together?" You smiled widely; you answered his question with a nod. You were about to walk with him to the bathroom, but Jungkook noticed your legs slightly trembling, so he picked you up bridal style.

You giggled at his action, holding him tight as he walked. When you made it into the bathroom, Jungkook sat you down on the closed toilet. You got worried that you might dirty it. "Wait, Jungkook, I don't think I should sit here. I don't want to dirty your toilet." Jungkook playfully scoffed at your concern. While he went to run the warm water, he shrugged, "It's fine if you dirty the toilet, babe. I can always clean it."

Minutes go by and the tub was finally filled. Jungkook carefully placed you in the tub. "Is the water warm for you?" You nodded your head and then urged him to get inside with you. Jungkook sat behind you; your back rested against his chest. You closed your eyes, letting yourself get lost in the warm and safe atmosphere. Jungkook looked down at you admiring your beauty. He could never get tired of looking at you. You captivated him, and he wasn't complaining.

Jungkook raked his fingers along your stomach; his head rested in the crook of your neck, breathing you in. With your eyes still closed, you spoke out, "You know, they say that a home is a place, but I don't think that's true." You opened your eyes and faced your lover. "Because I found a home in you; you're my home, Jungkook."

Jungkook buried his head deeper in your neck. He rarely blushes, but right now his face was painted bright red. He gave himself a minute to calm his beating heart. When he lifted up his head, he found that you had your eyes closed again. "____?" he called out. You responded to him with a little hum.

Jungkook took a deep breath in and a deep breath out and confessed, "I love you." Your eyes shot open, and you looked at him. Jungkook repeated, "I love you, ____. Every fiber of my being calls for you. My need for you is so strong, that I don't know what I'll do without you." You felt yourself crying, your body trembling. Jungkook wrapped his arms around you; he thought that what he had said made you sad. "____, I'm sorry. Please, don't cry."

You shook your head. You weren't crying because of what he had said, but because you were so happy. You were filled with so much joy and love. You sniffled to him, "I'm not crying because of something bad. I'm crying because you're making me so happy. I'm so happy, Jungkook." You wiped your tears away and grabbed his face. You admitted, "And I love you so much.”

Present

"I would like the veggie wrap, but please don't put in the bell peppers. And some sweet tea - no ice. Thank you." Becky handed her menu to the young waitress. "Ma'am, is there anything I can get you?" The girl had her attention switched to you. Getting ready to write, you gave her your answer, "I'll have the same, but I want the bell peppers put in. And for the drink, I'll just have plain water." The girl collected your menu and gave a curt nod.

After she left Becky spoke out, "I talked to Mason yesterday. ____, he's worried about you. You haven't texted or called him since the divorce. He's wondering if you're okay." You did a deep sigh. You didn't mean to make him worry; you just have a lot on your mind right now. You exhaled, "I'm okay, alright." Becky advised, "I'm not the one you should be answering to. If you claim to be okay, then call Mason and tell him." You nodded your head, not saying anything further.

Becky could see that you're not really here; your mind is someplace else. Ever since that night, you've been more closed off than usual. It's sometimes hard to make conversations with you since all you give is short direct answers. You were always pretty open with Becky, proud to say she knows about ninety percent of you. But recently, Becky has been left in the dark about your feelings.

She worried to you, "____, I want you to know that I'm here... that I'm not some stranger. You can talk to me." You stared at your best friend; you can see the worriedness in her beautiful face. You're definitely not doing a good job of making the people who care about you feel calm. You were ready to talk to Becky, but then the young waitress came up and brought the food. "Here's the wrap with no bell peppers for you," She gave Becky her food, and then you, "Here's your wrap with bell peppers. And your guy's drinks." Once she placed everything down, she added, "If you need anything just call me." And with that, the girl left.

Becky had noticed that you were about to say something. "What were you going to say, ____?" You begged, "Can we talk about this after we finished eating, Beck? Please?" Becky didn't want to push your buttons, so, she agreed to continue the conversation later.

Around thirty minutes later, you and Becky finished your lunch. You guys were now entering your car with a full stomach. Once you guys had your seatbelts buckled, you pulled out of the parking lot. The vehicle was silent, just a whispered voice singing through the stereo.

"Let's go to a park." Becky had broken the silence with her suggestion. You slightly turned your eyes to your best friend. "A park?" you questioned. Becky replied with a yes. With your eyes back on the road, you took some time thinking about the reason for the random pop-up. Then you remembered what you said at the restaurant. "To talk?" your voice laced with caution. Becky replied with another yes. You sucked in your cheeks and nodded. "Sure, why not."

You two arrived at a random park. The area didn't have a lot of people, which for you was great. You put your car in park and pumped up the air conditioning. It was silent yet again. Becky wanted to speak up, but she also wanted you to open up to her on your own. You were trying to figure out what to say to Becky without sounding incoherent. It took a minute before words left your mouth.

"Remember how I said I saw my ex that night?" Beck nodded her head. You continued, "Well, ever since that night I've been feeling lost... or I guess confused - I don't really know how to describe it. But seeing him made my heart swell with longing, but he was not the same as before. What happened that night rearranged my view - my feelings into something unbearable. The more I think about it, the more I know that I'm the reason for this pain. This feeling... it's like it's growing bigger, and it fills my heart with ache. I feel like I'm gonna be gone if these feelings keep being bottled."

Becky furrowed her brows; she was confused by your last sentence. "What do you mean 'gone', ____?" You gulped down some spit, "I mean that if I keep feeling like this, my sense of warmth might be extinguished." Becky's heart broke hearing her best friend say that she might lose any type of love. You've always been there for her, even when you were at your lowest. Becky said something that she might hope will help you. "Maybe you should try talking to him. Find some closure, ____."

You dropped your head to the steering wheel and gripped the sides. You shook your head at your friend's request; you explained, "I can't talk to him, Beck. You know, the last thing he said to me that night was that I was dead to him." You faced Becky. "Beck, he hates me... deeply. And I can't blame him, 'cause I hate myself too."

Becky turned her body completely towards you. She didn't want you to think badly about yourself. "____, don't say that." Just like Becky, you turned your body as well. Your frustration was building. "What am I supposed to say then, Becky? It's my fault that things are like this." Your voice started rising up, "It's my fault that we're broken! If you were there that day, Beck, you would've hated me as well."

Tears started freely flowing down. You grabbed your shirt and cried, "You didn't see the way his face looked when I told him that I accepted the marriage. You didn't feel the want in his hug - in his kiss when he begged for me to stay. You didn't hear the pain in his voice when he told me that I broke him. Becky, I left him alone and broken. I destroyed him. So, please... don't tell me that I shouldn't have said what I have said."

Becky hugged you the minute you ended your sentence. Her tears silently fell, while yours were loud and clear. Becky felt her shirt dampen, but she didn't care. You had wrapped your arms around your best friend tightly, holding on to her while you poured out your pain. You choked out, "I tried telling my parents that I didn't want this. I tried, Becky, I tried." Becky gently petted your hair and said, "I know, ____."

A Few minutes go by, and your crying had subsided. You pulled away from Becky and grabbed some tissues that were placed in the cup holder. You wiped your face from all the tears and snot. Becky softly rubbed your eyes and calmly said, "I wasn't there, so because of that I don't hate you. And if I was there, I still wouldn't have hated you, ____. Even though you couldn't stop your parents, you were still strong enough to try. That itself tells me how much you love this man. I know that I'll probably never be able to understand this pain, but one thing I do understand is the unbelievable love one person can have for the other. ____, this type of love is so powerful, it can heal the weak, but it can also destroy the strong. I know you said that you can't talk to him, but I think you should. If you don't... this feeling will keep being bottled - and just like you said, you'll be gone. I don't want that. So, just try talking to him."

Two years ago (the break up)

You had just gotten done having the meeting of your life with your parents. The discussion for an arranged marriage for you has been brought forth a week ago. Your parents wanted to expand their company by joining another company that was owned by their friends. They thought that marrying you with Mason would bring more publicity and fortunes to their companies. Your parents had known that you were already in a relationship, but they're the type of parents that don't care for their kids' opinions or feelings.

When they had announced that they were going to be marrying you, you shot them down the second the words had left their mouths. You left the room not giving them any time to say something back to you. You didn't want to hear it. That day, you held off on telling Jungkook about your parent's announcement. You had thought that they would respect your decision not to go through with this marriage. You thought that the discussion would end and there would be no reason to tell Jungkook, until today.

Your parents had called you to their office, and right when you entered the room, they dropped the bomb and told you that having this marriage is inevitable. You tried convincing them that this is not what you want, that you are happy with your life; loving and having Jungkook is all you want, but they didn't care. The only thought they had in their mind was strengthening their company. The debate went on for so long, with you crying and your parent's shouting.

They told you that if you didn't go through with this, they wouldn't hesitate on making Jungkook's life hell, starting with deporting his father. You called their bluff, telling them that they're not that cruel, but once they had ICE on call you were forced to agree. Your parents had a satisfying smirk knowing that their plan was working. You had gone up to your parents, wanting to physically hurt them, but your father beat you to it. He had slapped you right across the face, and even more, he did not hold back on giving you a right hook on your stomach. Your mother had a displeasing look on her face when you spat out vulgar words at them.

You ran out of their building to find sanctuary in your car. You didn't cry because of the pain your parents inflicted on you; you were crying because you were now going to be tied to someone who wasn't the love of your life; Jungkook. It took you a few minutes to calm down your breathing, and your crying, but once you did, you texted Jungkook that you were going to drive to his place for something important.

Jungkook got a bit nervous with your message; he tried calling you to see if you were okay, but you didn't answer. You didn't want him to hear the choked pain in your voice.

Here you are driving to your boyfriend's apartment, with blurry eyes. You know that driving in this state is unsafe, but you didn't care. You were lucky to have not run over any red lights or gotten pulled over for speeding. You pulled up to your boyfriend's apartment unscathed and without any tickets. You saw Jungkook pacing around his front door with a worried expression.

When he spotted you, he ran to your car door and hugged you. He expressed, "Baby, why weren't you answering my calls? I was worried about you." You couldn't speak; your body frozen was in panic. Jungkook noticed; he tried picking you up, but your legs collapsed on top of each other. He bent down to check for any injuries. Jungkook searched your body, and then he came across your face.

He let out a short breath, "____, your face! Your cheek! Baby, what happened?" You rasped out, "Can we take this inside? Please?" Instead of answering, Jungkook carefully picked you up and helped you to his apartment. He sat you down on his little sofa, with him going to the kitchen to get you an ice pack.

Your boyfriend returned and placed the cold pack on your bruising cheek. He wanted to question why you needed to talk, why you looked like you'd been crying so much, why your cheek is bruising, but he didn't want to bombard you with so many questions. He wanted you to talk to him when you were calm and ready.

You were trying to think of ways to break down the marriage to him, but no matter how you were to say it, you know that Jungkook would be hurt. Your head was down, but you could feel the anxious stare your boyfriend was giving you. You tried mustering up some words to say, but all that came out was unstable breaths.

Seeing you in this state had Jungkook on edge. He's never seen you like this before, and it quite terrifies him. Seeing you made his heart churn with indescribable panic. All that he could do was hold you, waiting for your mind to be steady.

The clock kept ticking and you still hadn't said anything. You just stared at the floor, with nothing but fidgeting eyes. Jungkook was a patient man, but in this scenario, he was feeling a bit restless. Jungkook tried speaking up, "Babe, ar-" You cut him off, blurting out your proclamation, "I'm getting married."

Jungkook's whole world stopped when those words left your mouth; he felt his heart drop. He stood up and raked his fingers through his hair. You were still seated, watching your boyfriend getting stressed. Your body was still, but you felt your tears slowly fall. The moment you said the words, you knew, you knew that everything was will never be the same.

Jungkook's heart was racing faster than the speed of light. His body felt cold, like what you had said dumped ice all over him. He couldn't control his breathing; his chest heaving up and down in a disbelief manner. He turned to you, catching sight of your broken spirit. He would usually hug you - comfort you, but all he wanted to do right now is ask you, his questions. Jungkook shakingly said, "Are you serious? 'Cause if you're playing with me right now, ____, I'll forgive you. We can move on with this horrible joke of yours." He tired laughing, hoping that you were joking.

You faced back down on the floor; your tears making it hard to see anything. With his question, you shyly nodded your head. You heard Jungkook release a pain exhale. You could feel the pain steaming off of him. You didn't want to lift your head; you were scared of the sight you might see.

You heard Jungkook gasping for air like he was finding it hard to function. You tried muffling your sobs that were escaping, but it didn't work. Jungkook demanded, "Look at me, ____." You couldn't. How could you? After what you said, you don't have the strength to face him. He demanded again, "____, look at me." this time you can hear the plead in his voice.

You lift your head, hating the sight you were seeing. The one person who you never wanted to hurt, showed a face full of agony. You did this to him. Your tears were now rapidly flowing; you tried wiping them away, but they did not prevail.

Jungkook didn't know why you were hurting. He had every reason to feel like this, but you? His voice rasped out his questions, "W-was it me? Did I do something wrong? Wa... was I not good enough for you, ____?" You vigorously shook your head. All his questions were far from it. "Then why?" Jungkook gripped his shirt; his voice was rising. He cried to you, "Why a-are you doing this to me? Did you have a relationship with this guy, and you didn't tell me? Is-is that the reason you're marrying him and not me?"

You stood up quickly, crying to him that his questions were not the reason. He repeated, "Then why?" You couldn't tell him why. You didn't want him to know, because if you did, you knew that he would tell you not to worry about him. He would tell you that you guys can fight through this, but he doesn't know your parents. The vile things they can do to him and his parents. So, you left that part out, "My parents want to wed me with a friend's son to bring more success to both companies."

Jungkook nodded his head, feeling somewhat hopeful that you didn't agree; your parents just told you, you were getting married. "Okay, this was all your parents. Baby, just decline them and then we can go back to normal." You saw him optimistically smile. You wished that was the case; you wished it was that easy. You brokenly said, "No, Jungkook. It was my decision... I accepted the marriage."

Jungkook cried yet again. Why would he think that? Stupid! He felt stupid. "Why would you accept it? You're not happy with me, are you?" You told him a white lie, "I think that as their daughter, I need to do this." Jungkook shook his head, not believing you. "What about what you want? ____, I thought that what we have is everything and more, but you seem so willing to let go of our five years. Is this truly what you want?"

You wanted to say no. You wanted to be with him forever; that this marriage is not what you want, but the words got stuck in your throat. You didn't know what to say. Jungkook knows you like the back of his hand; he could see the hesitation; he could see your body frozen in contemplation. He knows deep down that you don't want this. So, why are you doing this?

Jungkook walked towards you, holding you tenderly in his arms. Dipping his head to the crook of your neck, breathing you in like always. "____, stay with me." Your eyes were hurting from all the crying, but you couldn't help it. Jungkook felt your body tremble; he felt your tears sliding down your face, down your neck, and onto his face, it only made him hold you tighter. He felt himself crying just as hard as you. "Stay with me, ____." He let you go, only for him to cup your face, and give you a passionate kiss. "Please, baby. I need you to stay with me. Can you stay with me?"

You could feel the want in his hug - in his kiss, but you couldn't - you wouldn't drag him down, because of your love. You didn't want him and his parents to suffer because of you. You saw his eyes begging you to say yes. You know that your answer was going to hurt him, but rather this than the long-suffering pain he would feel to lose his father. Pushed him off of you, and you let out a strangled sob. You saw pain taking hold of him. You wailed, "I can't... I won't stay with you, Jungkook. I could never forgive myself if I did."

You saw him clutch a part of his shirt where his heart was. You heard him whimpering. Jungkook hiccupped, "____, please don't do this. We can be together. Your parents - your husband won't have to know." Jungkook knew he was being pathetic; begging you like this, but he would go to any length if it meant that you'll stay with him. "I don't want you to leave me. I love you."

Your face scrunched up, trying to contain the pain you were feeling. His words sent an ache through your heart. You wished everything was that easy. You didn't want Jungkook to love a horrible person like you; a person who would lie to him, a person who would tear him piece by piece. The only way to make him hate you is to say the impossible, "These past six years spent with you, were everything and more. But I don't love you anymore, Jungkook. It's time we took our separate paths."

Jungkook felt himself die inside. He was shaking his head, trying to deny your words, but you sound so convincing. If he knew that this type of pain was to happen, he would've never confessed his feelings to you. The one person who he tied himself with, the one person who he gave his whole heart, the one person who he loved broke him. He whispered to you, "You absolutely broke me, ____. Destroyed me." He didn't spare you a glance; he walked to his front door, opened it, and yelled, "Get the fuck out of my house, before I fully succumb to you, truly!"

You knew that this was gonna come. You knew that sooner or later he would yell and say harsh things to you. Still, you could help but be appalled by his words. You carefully walked your way to the door. Tears come down streaming harshly, knowing that this will be the last time you step foot in his home. Right at the entrance, you faced your now ex-boyfriend and saw the stern and pained expression plastered on his face. You timidly said, "I'm sorry, Jungkook."

Jungkook swiftly turned his eyes out the door, signaling to leave his apartment; you did just that. You turned around wanting to at least say one last goodbye, but before you got the chance to, Jungkook slammed the door, leaving alone on a cold April day.

Present

"So, don't worry about me, Mason. Call me when you get this." You ended the voicemail.

You were outside the club waiting for your ex to be finished. It took a lot of thinking about what Becky had said, and you came to the conclusion that she was right. You didn't want to spend the rest of your life avoiding this, you wanted to have some peace of mind. You don't know how he'll react or how he'll be, but you just hoped that he'll be willing to listen.

Time was speeding up and your body was getting tired. Right when you were about to head to your car to rest your legs, a group of people exited the club. It was hard identifying the group because they were heading in the opposite direction from you.

If you hadn't spotted Carter, you would've thought that this trip was useless. You and Carter made eye contact, and you watched him whisper to another guy who had his arm slung over the shoulders of a pretty woman. You knew that the man was Jungkook. It wouldn't matter how many years have passed; you'll always be able to identify him.

You wanted to get closer to hear what was being exchanged but to be respectful, you gave them their boundaries. The group of people already left, just leaving the four of you alone. You couldn't see his face, but by the way, Carter is expressing, you knew that the conversation was getting frustrating. Your body started fidgeting, you were getting impatient.

The conversation seemed to have ended when Carter gave you a bright smile. He pulled the woman towards him and gave Jungkook a wave of goodbye. Now it was just you two alone. Jungkook still had his back faced to you, but you can tell he was annoyed.

You spoke up, slightly shouting, "Can we talk, Jungkook?" For what seemed like forever, he finally turned to you. He trudged his way to you; he seethed, "Were my words that night not enough for you to know that I don't want to see you?" You were blinking frantically. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"I just want to talk. You don't have to say anything, I just want you to listen. I'm begging you." Your head was down, eyes closed. You started fiddling with your fingers. "I don't deserve it, but will you allow me to be selfish just one time?"

Jungkook stared down at you. He's not gonna admit it, but he also wanted to talk with you. He took some deep breaths through the nose, and said, "Did you bring your car? Where's your car?" You lifted your head in an instant. You exhaled and gave a relieved smile to yourself. Jungkook saw your small smile and somewhere deep down inside him, he felt his heart swell.

You made a beeline to your car, Jungkook following closely behind you. Once you made it inside, everything was quiet. Not a peep was made from the both of you. You thought that since you wanted to talk, you should start first. "Thank you... for agreeing to this. I wanted to talk because I need to have this closure." You faced your head to Jungkook, but all he was looking at was outside your car window. "I feel like we can take our first step into healing through this talk."

Without looking at you, Jungkook mumbled, "I tried to feel something new with someone else, but all I could see in them is how they're not you." You started biting your lips; you felt guilty. "There was this woman I met around close to a year of our break up. She was a customer at the club, and all she ordered was a glass of water." Jungkook started laughing at the memory. "She started coming in more often, and I found a friend in her. She was kind, smart, beautiful... she was perfect. I thought that she was everything I wanted in a girl. But every time we tried to progress our relationship; I kept holding her off. All I could feel - all I could want was you. I didn't want someone perfect," Tears started to slowly fall down Jungkook's eyes. He faced you with his eyes red. "I wanted someone who messy, loud, clumsy... broken. All I wanted was you, ____."

You were choking on your sob. You placed your hand on your mouth, trying to cancel out any noise. Wanting to add to your pain, Jungkook confessed "I went to your wedding. I blended myself with the hundreds of those invited people. I saw you walk down the aisle in your beautiful wedding dress. You truly make a beautiful bride, ____. I saw you guys hold hands, heard your vows, and say your 'I do's'. I saw you guys kiss. I couldn't stay any longer, so I went back home. I laid in bed staring at my ceiling, it took me a while to figure out that I was crying. And I realized that my tears were no longer for you. They're for me; the me you destroyed. How could you do this to us? How could you do this to me? You didn't love me."

You shook your head, denying his last sentence. "Don't say that! You may hate me, and that's fine, but you have no right to say that I didn't love you. Jungkook, my love for you was infinite and it still is. You know, the moment I left you, I killed half of myself. And to this day, I'm still half a person. You know, I have spent the first year missing you, wanting you, needing you." You cried harder like you were reliving your pain. "My ex-husband tried consoling me, and it would work for a little while. But every time night rolls around, the moon brings back my pain. I'll never ever forgive myself for the pain I brought to you."

"It doesn't matter now. You ruined everything." You cried harder because he was right, but you didn't wanna keep being reminded. "I know! I know that everything is my fault. But please, Jungkook, stop reminding me of my faults. I hate myself enough as it is."

Jungkook questioned, "Then why? I want the honest truth now. Don't hide from me. Why would you accept the marriage?" Jungkook wanted answers that you couldn't give to him before.

Now that you are divorced, you have nothing holding you back. "It's true when I said that I accepted the marriage. It was fully my decision, but they really left me no choice. They were going to call ICE on your father. Jungkook, they wanted to make you and your parents suffer." You started shaking your head; your tears falling in the process. "I didn't want that to happen because of my selfishness."

You were crying, but all that Jungkook could think about was one thing. "Is that why you came home that day with a bruising cheek? Did those fuckers do that to you?" You were quiet; you didn't have to say anything for Jungkook to know the answer. He took a deep sigh, "Why didn't you tell me? God, I feel like killing them."

You scoffed, "What would you do if I told you? I think you're forgetting just how powerful my parents are. Jungkook, they will stop at nothing to achieve something."

He retaliated back, "So will I! I don't care how powerful your parents are, ____. If putting in my blood, sweat, and tears means that I could still have you, I will. It was wrong for me to say that you didn't fight back, but I would've started a war for you if it meant that we could still be together. If my father were to be deported, my mom would go with him; they can't imagine a life without each other. That's the same thing with me. I couldn't imagine a life without you, but it's too late now, huh? The chance to fight is over now."

You quietly asked, "You wouldn't fight for me now?" That question had stumped Jungkook. He wanted to say that he will, but it wouldn't sound right. Many things have happened over the past two years. Jungkook has learned to move on, to live without you. Of course, he's not fully healed, but after this talk, he feels like he can fully live his life without the pain you bring. But you, you were still stuck in the past. You had hoped that maybe, just maybe everything would be back to the way it was.

Jungkook answered your question from the truth in his heart, "No... I wouldn't fight for you now. ____, what we had is something I'll always treasure. The years I spent with you felt like heaven. You were my haven. You were my first everything, I could never forget that. I wished it had been me standing at the altar. I wished it had been me marrying you. I wish for a lot of things, but those are just wishes. Two years isn't a lot of time, but during that period I've learned to move on with my life."

Jungkook cupped your crying face. He held you tenderly. His eyes filled with sorrow. "I loved you so much, ____. Actually, I-I still love you. I don't think I'll stop loving you. We were just two people who loved each other but weren't meant to be." He started wiping your fallen tears.

Jungkook gave you one last kiss. You guys kissed with so much love and regret. The tears from both of you made the kiss salty, but you guys didn't mind. You gripped his shirt, and he gripped your waist. This was truly the last contact you both will make.

Pulling apart was hard but needed. You knew that he was right. It's time for you to move on. You whispered to him, "I realize now that I can't keep holding on to something I can't have anymore. I'm ready to let you go, Jungkook."

Jungkook connected his forehead to yours, and said, "If once we're ready, faith will bring us together again. Whether it be in this lifetime or the next, I'll wait for you with open arms." You smiled at his words. You both know deep down that being together again won't happen - at least not in this life.

Five years later

Many things have happened in the five years since your guy's last talk. You had moved out of the city along with Becky and started room mating with Mason. The first two years of moving forward were hard, but with the help of Becky and Mason, everything started to feel just right. Your two friends opened up their own law firm called M & B Laws. You also got a job at a daycare not too far from their work.

Since that night, you have never seen Jungkook again, but you were grateful to have followed his Instagram profile. You guys would exchange DM's here and then, asking about each other's days, new stuff. But after the third year, the texts stopped coming and you guys were now strangers.

You were alone at home, and Becky and Mason were working overtime. In times like this, you wished you had a dog or cat, a companion to keep you company. The TV was playing Iron Man; you weren't too focused on the TV screen, instead, the only thing that had your attention was your phone screen. Scrolling through Instagram, and liking random stuff, you came across a post from Jungkook.

You sat up from the couch. It's been months since his last post. The picture that was displayed on your screen was a photo of Jungkook and a woman. You tucked your hair from behind your ears to get a better look. His post was seven hours ago. The caption from his post said, "Happy 2 years, baby! I'm happy to have circled the sun with you twice, and I can't wait for more. I love you, Yuna!"

You from before would've been so heartbroken. She would've cried herself to sleep, despising herself more and more for losing him. But you are so happy now; you are so happy for him. You looked at the picture and for the first time in a long time, Jungkook showcased a genuine and happy smile. His eyes weren't facing the camera, they were locked on the beautiful woman in front of him. His eyes were filled with so much love and adoration, his smile was shining with so much joy. Your heart's not broken, it's far from it. Your heart is healed, and your heart is happy. You can't wait to see what the world has to offer.

#jeon jungkook #jeon jungguk #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #angst #fluff #smut #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts imagine #bts fanfction #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #bangtan sonyeondan

[geeminz]

ᯓ A CHANGE OF HEART // giselle x oc ; smau

00 | as long as it's you

↳ in which: mihye has been secretly dating giselle, her best friend’s older sister, for four months. what happens when their relationship turns toxic, and their secrets become public?

word count: 1.7k

taglist: @thefckghost @emphobics @jisooftme @xszn

a.n. i was literally so nervous while posting this cuz im not too confident about the quality of the writing T^T but anyways yeah! here's the prologue guys 🥹

───────────────────────── flashback

───────────────────────── now

it’s now 9 in the evening, and mihye is tired of waiting.

she could no longer count the times giselle’s stood her up. she knows her girlfriend is busy — after all, she’s a junior in college. mihye’s well-aware of the fact that giselle’s coursework is much more demanding compared to hers. mihye tries her best to understand — she tries her best to be sweet, to not get mad or outwardly frustrated, but couldn’t she spare a minute for her girlfriend? can’t she just send her a tiny little message? or maybe even call her if she’s too busy to type?

giselle’s lack of communication gnaws at mihye’s heart like a persistent ache, a relentless throb that refuses to dull, no matter how hard she tries to ignore it.

she’s been forgetting a lot lately… how long until she forgets she has a girlfriend?

mihye wonders if normal relationships are like this — after all, love is all about giving and taking, right? it’s about adjustments, understanding. shortcomings are normal — but at this point, shortcomings from giselle are everyday. 

it wasn’t just the missed dates that mihye was frustrated about — it was the constant cycle of disappointment from all of giselle’s broken and hollow promises. mihye wonders if she’s done something wrong to make giselle act so… detached. 

frustrated, mihye sighs deeply. the side of her head crashlands on one of the throw pillows on the couch — while a plethora of emotions swirls inside her. right now, mihye’s stuck. 

should i text or call her?

mihye doesn’t want her girlfriend to think that she’s being too clingy — giselle has told her that before (even though giselle only said it indirectly, mihye isn’t dumb; she knows what giselle meant when she told her about how ‘they’ve been spending too much time together lately’ and that they’ll be ‘tired of each other at this point’). but what else can mihye do? she hasn’t seen giselle for the past three days.

three days too long, the girl thinks. i miss her so much.

a ding! sound popped from mihye’s phone, and mihye swears she’s never gotten up that fast before. reaching out for her phone, she checks out her girlfriend’s reply.

frustrated, mihye puts her phone back on the coffee table. it was violently buzzing from the endless stream of phone calls that giselle was spamming her with. 

mihye misses her girlfriend, for sure. but despite her desire to just crawl into her girlfriend’s arms and just forget everything else (just like how giselle forgot their own date), mihye also doesn’t want to listen to her poor excuses about how she didn’t forget — she just had a lot on her mind.

hearing those poorly thought out reasons over and over again was gradually draining mihye. not only did it wear her out, she was also hurt by giselle’s lack of a proper and valid explanation to justify her absence.

mihye glances at her buzzing phone once more. let me let her suffer a little, just this once. i’m too frustrated to listen to her right now.

mihye sighs, tired from the endless train of thoughts that looped inside her brain. she lets her phone ring — knowing very well that giselle will stop calling her soon. she always does. she listens to her ringtone as if it were a broken record playing again and again, and her empty pair of eyes stares at the rose petal-filled and candle-scented room she had set up two hours ago. with blank eyes, mihye observes her living room, her body stunned and her heart empty upon the realization that her best efforts to impress her girlfriend were all going to waste.

i really thought we’d get to spend a little time together today.

due to a force of habit, she subconsciously grabs one of the plushies near her — the one that giselle gifted her for their first monthsary — and mihye clutches it against her chest. her nose brushes against the fur of the plushie, and she smells giselle’s signature perfume on its surface. just like that, giselle invades her thoughts once more.

her phone, which was perched on top of the glass surface of her coffee table, stopped ringing after a minute or so. mihye could only lay like that in silence and in solitude, heart heavy, pained and empty. she must be tired now, mihye thinks. but after that thought, three notifications pinged at her phone.

mihye lazily reaches for her phone to check the notifications.

mihye’s eyes widen at the text, and before she could even register the texts and respond to giselle, a series of familiar knocks came from the front door.

mihye makes no sound to address the knocks, but she recognizes the voice coming from behind the door.

“hye, i know you’re in there. open the door for me, please?”

mihye doesn’t respond to giselle. she stays mum and stuck at her place.

“mihye, baby. please. let’s talk, love.” giselle pleads once more.

mihye slowly shuts her eyes in defeat. she knew she couldn’t resist giselle — she could never. it’s giselle, after all. and mihye loves her enough to get up from her sofa and walk towards the door to open it for her girlfriend, who was currently pleading for her on the other side of the door.

once the door was opened, mihye sees giselle, clad in all black, leaning on the frame of her doorway.

why does she have to be so goddamn pretty! 

with her big brown eyes, and pouty lips, giselle still looked breathtaking to mihye, even if she did make her cry multiple times before. right now, the older looked like a kicked puppy with the way that she was furrowing her eyebrows. giselle’s glossy eyes stared deeply into mihye’s, and just like that, mihye had no choice but to let giselle in her apartment.

mihye stretches her arm to open the door wider for giselle to enter the premises of her apartment. but instead of immediately going inside, the older girl pulls mihye into a tight embrace.

“baby,” giselle whispers, burying her head into mihye’s neck. “i am so sorry. i’m such an asshole.”

at least you’re self-aware, mihye says in her mind, but she stays quiet as giselle continues to hug her, grasping at her body as if mihye will disappear once giselle loosens her hold on mihye’s waist.

“i just had a lot of things on my mind, hye.”

tell me something you haven’t already told me, gi.

“and i was just so tired today, our prof is literally trying to kill us. i almost fell asleep the moment i got back to my condo.”

i’ve heard that one, too.

“i’m sorry, hye. please forgive me.”

when will you ever stop saying sorry?

“you know i love you, right? i love you, mihye. i’m sorry for fucking up.”

“...”

“hye? please talk to me.” giselle’s warm breath hits the skin of mihye’s neck. due to the closeness of their bodies, mihye could feel the quick thumping of her girlfriend’s heart. she could sense the quickness of giselle’s breathing; as if she just ran a marathon and is running out of breath. mihye could feel how tightly giselle has shut her eyes from the feeling of giselle’s long lashes against the surface of her neck.

she’s sorry — she always is.

and you always forgive her.

that’s how this goes.

mihye sighs, slowly giving in and reciprocating giselle’s hug. just like that, mihye feels the older girl’s heart rate increase tenfold, but after a few seconds, the girl relaxes in her arms.

“gi, let’s go inside first.” mihye suggests, but giselle doesn’t budge at all. 

“gi,” mihye calls out to her girlfriend again, and this time, she lightly taps the girl’s back to call her attention. “gi, let’s get in. someone might see you here.”

“so?” giselle replies, not wanting to interrupt the position they were in.

it is comfy, mihye tries to justify in her head.

“so… someone might see you. some of your blockmates are my neighbors on this floor, you know. they might get the wrong idea if… if they see us like this.”

giselle stays frozen for a few moments, before pulling her body away from her younger girlfriend. mihye looks at her, and deems giselle’s expression as unreadable. she neither looked happy nor sad — instead, she looks like she’s just been hit by a ton of bricks.

did i say something wrong?

the couple walk toward the living room together — giselle observed the place with the same unreadable expression. at this point, mihye couldn’t read her, she could only observe. despite everything, giselle was still careful so as to not step on the petal of roses sprawled around mihye’s floor.

when they got to mihye’s couch, they both stayed silent. mihye — truth be told, did not want to speak. she was far too tired to do so.

we may not be okay, but at least she’s here with me now.

no matter how disappointed i am.

it was giselle who broke the silence between them.

“hye… i’m sorry for putting you in this setup.”

mihye looks at her girlfriend with concern. giselle stares at her lap, unable to look her girlfriend in the eye.

“i’m sorry that i can’t publicly show how much i love you. i’m just not ready yet. i hope you understand that.”

mihye nods before responding. “i do, gi. i knew what i was getting myself into.”

mihye stays silent as giselle continues to rack around her thoughts to pick better words to tell her girlfriend.

“i just need more time, hye. please be patient for me.” giselle says, and mihye’s heart has no other choice but to accept what giselle gives her.

mihye has a lot of questions that she wanted to ask — gi, are we okay?

gi, why are you so confusing?

why are you so cold and sweet at the same time?

what happened to us? 

but as soon as giselle pulled mihye into her warm embrace, all of mihye’s questions and thoughts dissolved into nothing, as giselle’s tom ford perfume swoops into her sense of smells and floods her thoughts with how good her girlfriend smells. 

she's here. with me. and she does care. she's just been busy.

giselle loves me. and i love her.

turns out, no matter how disappointed mihye is in giselle — one word, one apology, one hug from giselle, and mihye’s melting into her touch again. 

as long as it’s her, i’ll endure the pain.

go to: masterlist | next

#⸻ a change of heart. #⸻ vice:aus #aespa giselle x reader #giselle angst #aespa giselle #giselle imagines #giselle x reader #aespa smau #aespa angst #aespa x reader #kpop smau #kpop wlw #kpop idol x reader

[amizuki]

it will be forever funny to me how the flashback portraits of Wittebrothers made Caleb seem like he's had packing peanuts for a brain

(this post ended up becoming quite lengthy, and so did the tags somehow, because I kinda devolved into a rant closer to the end of writing this whole thing, so bear with me here)

so we know that Philip and Caleb became orphans when both of them were still kids. after that, they ended up in Gravesfield and, to fit in with everyone else who lived there, picked up witch hunting and started thinking that witches are pure evil. Caleb knew perfectly well that he's the only family Philip's had left and that he even may be his his only friend, since, judging by the portraits, they've only ever hung out with each other and we don't know if those two ever made any other actual friends.

until one day, during a witch hunt he and Philip were both a part in (something Caleb seemed happy to do, judging by his smirk there), he met a witch – Evelyn – someone he's been taught to hate and want dead by the townsfolk. someone who, again, in his mind, should be evil.

but he just suddenly does a 180 and goes "damn, you can make fire with your hands, you're actually pretty cool"

and then a few days (?) of talking to her later, he's running off to live with her in the Demon Realm, while simultaneously not giving a single fuck about the brother he's abandoning.

(he even runs off with a smile, with a literal :D face, I fucking can't lmao)

Philip ends up seeing Caleb get dragged off through a weird portal and later follows along, thinking something like "no, my brother wouldn't just up and abandon me without saying anything. he probably got captured by that witch we saw together that one time! she probably used some demon magic to bewitch Caleb and took him through that portal to kill him or worse! I gotta go save him!". and, after spending god knows how long in that realm, searching endlessly for his missing older brother, he eventually finds him. but he also finds that Caleb is not only perfectly okay and not hurt in the slightest, he's also peacefully walking together with the same witch who "captured" him, even holding hands with her.

and when enraged Philip tries to attack Evelyn, to protect Caleb from the witch who took him from his home, from his brother, still thinking that Caleb's under her control, Caleb just... gives him a hug and goes on to introduce the witch as his new wife to him (I'm assuming that portrait is the same day as the other three, if not the same scene), also adding on top of that that they're having a child. all as if nothing happened. treating the whole thing like everything's perfectly okay and just another normal day, fully ignoring the fact that he threw his brother away with no care or thought, leaving him completely alone, a full orphan, now with zero actual family left (in TTT, during their backstory, it's said that "Caleb did his best to take care of his younger brother", meaning that either they never got adopted in Gravesfield, or whoever adopted them didn't give a shit about the two, so they still mostly had to fend for themselves), all to go smash some random 5 out of 10 witchussy he talked to, like, 3 times. no fucking wonder Philip killed him!

(btw, jokes aside, it didn't seem like he intended to kill Caleb, because in that portrait where he's ready to kill with a knife in his hand, he's facing forward, while Caleb is actually to his left. so it just looks to me like Philip was gonna try to kill Evelyn again, and Caleb either jumped in front of her to protect her and got accidentally stabbed or he attacked Philip back, to, again, protect Evelyn, and Philip ended up winning that fight. but that's just my theory)

my brother in literal christ and literal titan – why in the FUCK are you just hugging it out with a smile on your face??? you ran off while giving absolutely no warning to anyone, especially your younger brother! why do you think he's here and actively trying to attack you and your new wife? you're not even trying to address the fact that you left him! at least when Luz ran off to a different realm without warning, she had a "I'm still at the camp" cover, so Camila wouldn't worry that much about where her daughter is, and even then she still felt bad for leaving her mother and planned to go back home once summer was over. this chucklefuck, on the other hand, just permanently portaled away to the Boiling Isles, knocked up a witch and fully settled down there, walking around with a big ol' smile and no care in the world. "Philip who? never heard of him"

the only thing that would sorta make this situation seem better (as in, not make Caleb seem like an overly naive ignorant brick), in my opinion, is if they added one more portrait – after the one where he meets the witch, but before the one where he leaves. in that portrait, Caleb would look like he's trying his best to convince Philip that witches aren't actually evil, and perhaps even try to get him to go live with them in the Demon Realm, all the while Philip's looking at him with either disagreement/disappointment/disgust or just rolling his eyes and full on ignoring him, while sharpening his witch hunt tools or something. then it would look like Caleb at least tried to make his brother change his mind, like he tried to offer him a chance to go with them. but no. with the way the portraits look in the final version it just seems like Caleb was fully on-board with killing witches since he was young, even pulling his younger brother along to think the same way, Philip also thought that Caleb was perfectly fine with killing witches, but once he actually meets a real witch (assuming they've never met one before) he instantly pulls an uno reverse card and just runs off with her, without so much as telling his brother beforehand.

I'm not trying to say that "Belos should've been redeemed, because he's the victim here and Caleb is bad and it's all his fault". he still murdered his brother and went on to manipulate everyone on Boiling Isles for centuries, with his end goal being the death of all witches, while simultaneously being stuck in the loop of "denial" and "bargaining" stages of grief – repeatedly trying and failing to recreate a perfect copy of Caleb, but also killing each one that came out wrong or went against him. Belos not being redeemed in the end was the right choice (ignoring the "Belos was always le bad" from King's dad), I agree with that. frankly, if he actually got redeemed in the end, I'd probably be seething for the next 3 to 5 years, like how I did after the Diamonds' "redemptions" in SU (yes I'm still pissed about that lol). I'm just saying that, from what was shown to us, Caleb didn't seem like that good of a person either, not as bad as Belos ended up being, but still not that great. and, once again, seemingly had a raisin for a brain.

(off topic, but during Masha's retelling of Wittebane's backstory, their "sounds like big bro got a hot witch girlfriend and little bro got upset" line was so fucking cringe, it gave me a fever for 3 days the first time I watched the episode)

k, rant over, I dunno what else to add

TL;DR: I think Caleb was dumb as a brick, because, from what was shown to us in their backstory, he seemed to have run off to Demon Realm and abandon Philip without telling him anything beforehand. when Philip came to BI to look for his brother, who he assumed was under control of the witch who "took" him, since he thought his last living family member wouldn't just abandon him, and when he eventually found him, and it turned out he wasn't in any danger at all, Caleb just brushed the whole "I left you for witchussy" thing under the rug and pretended everything was and is perfectly fine, even though it clearly isn't. rip bozo

#toh critical #toh criticism #big ol' rant here lol #ever since we saw those portraits I've always thought it was kinda weird how Caleb just ran off with no warning #I thought it'd be adressed in the 3rd season at some point #like maybe there'd be a scene of Belos and Hunter talking #and Belos starts getting angry and going on a rant #“you're ALWAYS leaving me Caleb! and for what? for a witch you've just met?!” or something like that #and after Belos started hallucinating Caleb's ghost I instead thought there'd be a scene of him talking directly to it instead of Hunter #but nah it all just kinda got thrown away #and Belos turned into “always been le bad” kaiju #meanwhile Hunter is just 404 not found #lol #lmao even #rant #♤mizu.txt

[thecleverqueer]

Y’all.

The point of the Clone Wars flashback in the Ahsoka series was partially fan service. Yes. But, those of you that are mad that Obi-Wan and Cody and Waxer and Boil and Mace Windu and Ursa Wren and Gar Saxon and Maul and Bo-Katan Kryze and Rook Cast weren’t in it missed the whole goddamned point of the flashback, so let me explain:

Everyone has bitched tirelessly about Ahsoka being stoic and reserved and “not like herself” (I will die on the “she’s in her forties…leave my baby girl alone… she’s tired, sore and premenopausal…” hill, still…)

Ultimately, she’s been “out of character” because she was carrying all of the Anakin trauma around like a two hundred pound weight on her shoulders. She blamed herself, and she feared who she was so much so that she was unwilling to get close to others and spread the wisdom that the years have afforded her…something a Jedi just does. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Enter this sequence… the moment she FINALLY lets go of the Anakin guilt/ hang ups.

I knew something like this was coming. Some moment that changed her back to the more recognizable Ahsoka. The one that embraced her friends. The one that was willing to share the lessons that she learned with others. The one that would have loved to have a padawan of her own. The one that wasn’t always running away, being flaky.

This was it. And, there were two big takeaways from the moment.

1.) Anakin was always Vader, and Vader was always Anakin… and she had nothing to do with that. Her leaving the order played literally no role. It wasn’t on her. It never was. He was already teetering on that line way before she entered his life. I mean, he slaughtered an entire village of Tuskens down to the last woman and child. He said and did questionable shit to Ahsoka herself too throughout their time together. Was he like a brother to her? Sure. Was he borderline abusive at times? Also, yes. Regardless, her eyes were opened in that first battle…where he basically told her to fight or die. Fair, under the circumstances… still, Ahsoka was trained to be a Jedi, not a murderer. Anakin relished in it. She didn’t really, especially when it came to losing her own men in battle. The clones were her friends, her brothers. Anakin didn’t seem to give a shit about the clones. Unsurprising.

2.) She realized that it wasn’t just Anakin’s legacy that she would carry on. She has her own legacy. It doesn’t have to be one of death and destruction. Is Ahsoka a lot like Anakin? Yes. She’s impulsive, hot-headed, stubborn, emotional, and intense, but that’s not all. Ahsoka is caring, patient, understanding, and loving in a compassionate sense. She’s grown wise, strong and sage. Anakin isn’t the only part of her line and that legacy… Obi-Wan is a part. Qui-Gon is a part. Yoda is a part. Ahsoka is a little bit of all of them. It made her realize that she’s so much more than just a warrior. She’s a great Jedi like the ones that came before her. Inevitably, she has a choice. She can choose not to serve the dark, despite it being part of that legacy, and she can pass on what she has learned without fear.

The moment was about just that. It wasn’t meant to actually be an episode of The Clone Wars. The flashback served a very specific purpose as laid out above. There are 133 episodes of The Clone Wars if you want to watch a Clone Wars episode with all the characters of the Clone Wars. This moment was about Ahsoka overcoming her guilt and fear caused by Anakin becoming what he became so that Ahsoka could actually embrace who she is. Specifically.

Now we have a happy, more well-rounded, Gandalf-like Ahsoka that has slayed her Balrog. Now we get to see her be the Jedi she has always been inside. Now we will see her be there for her friends. Now we will see her mentor and share her wisdom and teach the ways of the ones that came before her without fear.

#star wars #ahsoka tano #the clone wars #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers #pro jedi #anakin skywalker #shadow warrior #because some of you missed the whole ass point #battle of ryloth #siege of mandalore #ahsoka the white

[blinkpen]

i've seen actually a few different people/users leave comments or tags about wanting to check out scavenger's reign after seeing my glowing praise of it, but also being very nervous to do so, because they're excited for a lesbian who looks like them (azi), but despite my gushing, i keep mentioning how the show is full of body horror, brutal deaths and characters having a bad time;

this is a very valid concern to have, given how a character like azi might be treated in another show, i was going in with tempered caution as well

without spoiling too much, you can lay those worries down. the show treats her very well.

if you'd like some more elaboration, i've put it under this readmore!

azi is put into stomach-churningly dire "an alien is about to eat you/do a big big body horror/assimilate you" situations the least of any of the characters, and not even because she's being given a lack of stuff to do/experience in the plot!

i think we only see her get "afflicted" by something the way sam does once, and its very mild compared to everyone else (basically she gets a really bad itchy rash after successfully prying some weird would-be paralytic puffballs that get stuck to her) and even this one instance is quickly resolved by other fauna, in a very nice sequence of scenes that is clearly a healing/relaxing experience for her.

while she is put into danger and is trying to survive like everyone else, she gets tossed about in action setpieces she makes it through with minimal injury, more than enduring The Horrors;

she gets to have better luck because more of her narrative screentime is, by design, already dedicated to emotionally bonding with her robot buddy, levi, as they suddenly and rapidly attain self-awareness, and levi encourages her to find the beauty and harmony in this nightmarish nature documentary they got marooned in.

this helps her lighten up just in time, too, because she is, very understandably, stressed almost to her breaking point by the point the show starts, having one of the better crash landing sites of any of the survivors, and i bet the other survivors all wish they had a robot tagging along to help, but being stranded and lonely and trying to not lose hope of rescue. she misses her girlfriend, and is feeling increasingly vulnerable (negative) and afraid, especially when situations occur where she gets reminded she does need help. azi starts the series being kind of mean to levi, and having to balance her confusion, worry, and then awe of levi's transformation, and let herself accept she does need that help.

azi is not the gruff grr nothing phases me nothing hurts me the writers dont have to try giving me depth i'm just the badass butch who exists to fill the death quota later so a lighter/more fem character can survive;

her vulnerability reveals itself without much fuss, and is eventually tended to both by herself and others. we get flashbacks that show she was naturally introverted, but clearly wanting to overcome that in order to socialize and get closer to someone (girls...)

she goes through it for other reasons, but i promise you, the show treats her very well, i feel. she and levi are probably-nah, definitely, my favorite characters in it, and the show would not have blown me away the way it did without them here

SR has 3 main story threads; Azi and Levi, Sam and Ursula, Kamen and The Hollow. of the three, Azi and Levi's is the heart, and is the most romantic, in multiple senses of the term. i might right a breakdown of what i love most about all three threads? but yeah

now, if you still need the "okay but does she or her gf die" y/n:

.

.

.

.

azi and her girlfriend both survive the events of the show, and reunite in one piece! they may or may not throuple up with the robot.

i sure hope they do.

you can't tease us with scenes like this and Not

OH: also, when a new antagonist shows up later in the form of a lethally pragmatic blonde woman named Kris who tries to boss azi around, i did get nervous, but Azi soured to max on her and spoke exactly what i hoped was the intent at the exact moment i felt it was critical to avoid me going "hrrmmm don't like these Implications" (the Instant azi detects blondie is trying to haze her into being a new teammate to be bossed around, azi immediately gets rightfully pissed and rejects it, and schemes to get the tagalong kid to see this also and on azi's side in the long run, which plays out and kris gets rapidly shuttled out of the plot and then pretty damn well humbled in the only blatant Sequel Hook present. i Appreciated that. Would have loved to love you Kris I love evil women but then you pulled That Stunt and now you can go wither alone in the corner

#scavreign warbling #azi and levi my beloveds....

[oneatlatime]

The Library

Ground hog pipe organ. That's really quite twee.

Since when is Sokka concerned about the time crunch? Although he's right about the whole 'no plan' thing.

Katara is such a little sister sometimes.

Is an ice spring a thing? I feel like we wouldn't have invented refrigeration if ice springs were possible. What a cool idea though.

Dentists aren't a thing in the avatar universe.

Does sword guy sterilise those swords between drinks? How clean are the insides of the sheaths? Why is someone so overqualified working as a blender? How boring is this town that master swordsmen resort to being Magic Bullets to pass the time?

Has it ever occurred to Aang to try to maintain a little mystery around his identity? At the start of the first season, people's first thoughts when seeing an airbender were probably "wow! the fire nation missed one!" but by now it has to be well known that the airbender ping ponging around the earth kingdom is THE avatar. It's not like he didn't have other options. He could have waterbended the smoothie away. He could have asked Katara to waterbend the smoothie away. If I were feeling angsty, I'd say that a child of peacetime just doesn't have it in him to be sufficiently suspicious/cynical to feel the need to disguise himself. But I'm not feeling angsty, so I'm gonna say that Aang had a moment of dumb. Understandable, given he's twelve.

Nevermind! Aang accurately assessed how little he needed to hide himself because this professor is a dumb too!

Cool it with the phrenology.

Finding lost civilisations all over the earth kingdom is apparently a worthless accomplishment. You know, I don't like this guy.

Clam lamp. Coconut lamp?

That fox joke did not land.

This is the Taj Mahal.

Toph's still on probation. Gotta work six months* before you get the benefits package! * or until the world ends with the comet, whichever comes first.

Sokka wants to vacation in a library. I love how unrepentantly nerdy he can be.

Hey. Professor idiot. Wanna find your unfindable library? Go recruit Zuko. That kid finds so well it gives me flashbacks to Hufflepuff jokes.

Not sure what this implies re: the sapience of sandbenders.

The sandbenders have to have learned that move from airbenders. Also isn't that really inefficient? Rotational force goes 360 degrees but they only want force in a single direction. They should have modeled their sandbending on waterbending instead and created a giant wave behind their sleds for them to surf along.

That chin needs scritches.

I hope they're bringing lots of water rations with them. How much water do you thing Appa needs in a day?

Would Sokka, who lives at the South Pole, know what a fox is?

Everyone keeps forgetting stuff this episode. Library is buried? You have two earthbenders and two airbenders.

Love the attitude.

This has been bugging me for a few episodes now so I might as well mention it. I know it's an artistic choice, but: having fingernails the same colour as fingers squicks me out.

Sokka's turn with the dumb. Why would you climb up to the library when three of you can fly? Appa can hover. Just walk down his tail to the window.

That's twice now they've forgetten Toph's blindness. I love her attitude towards them forgetting.

Sokka's boomerang is one hell of a multitool. Whatever it's made of, it's indestructible.

"Don't worry buddy. I'm not making you go underground ever again." I hope that's not ironic foreshadowing.

Stuffed head of anthropology might be an improvement.

The vocal effect on this owl is neat.

Dammit. Now stealing from the pirates is justified.

Why do you even have that? Why did you stuff it down your shirt? Just why?

*Heroically refrains from going on a rant about the value of non-written sources, oral tradition, and pejoratively labelled 'folk' knowledge.*

The Ears!!! Those cute little ears. They have no business being so floppy. Appa & Toph, the duo I never knew I needed.

Appa is a very good listener.

LEFTY SHOUTOUT!!!

Sokka has not only forgotten that he's after a map of the fire nation; he's also stolen the declaration of independence.

Two things: First, this is the best boy. Second, Sokka seems to be a cat person.

You think the Fire Nation, a Nation that knew enough astronomy to correctly predict, plan for, and harness the power of a comet to complete a very successful genocide, doesn't know there's an eclipse coming up and has planned accordingly? Like come on. They named the comet after their Firelord. They obviously know how astronomy works. It would take literally one eclipse, depriving them of their bending once, for the whole nation to become suddenly very invested in predicting the movements of celestial bodies. They know this. I promise you they have safeguards in place. Pick a less obvious time to attack.

So is the owl gullible as all hell or did he let them in to give them enough rope to hang themselves?

Badass line about justifying war. Although equating protecting the people you love with hoarding library books does not hold water.

This owl has far too much neck.

HOW strong is Toph?

This owl sure is destroying a lot of his books.

Sokka doesn't know that Toph is holding up the library right? And there's no way for him to know how quickly/slowly the library is sinking. So this date checking montage makes no sense. Maybe he will find out the date, but if he's sealed underground then it doesn't matter that he learned it.

Do not like.

Very much DO NOT LIKE.

Did they just kidnap Appa?

Should have told him to yip yip. Does Toph know Yip yip?

I am a big fan of Sokka style. Although I'm glad this show aired a decade before Gangnam Style came out, otherwise the memes would have been insufferable.

The owl is going to eat you as soon as it wakes up. Did you see a cafeteria? A water source? Even if you hide from the owl you'll be dead in a week.

Massive points to Toph for holding that up as everyone inside was delaying for stupid reasons.

No.

No you have to give me back Appa before the episode ends. That's the rules.

Final Thoughts

Unacceptable.

This episode felt contrived, everyone involved except maybe Toph had some epic moments of dumb, and to top it all off they stole Appa. I am not amused.

There was lots of setup and little story here. At least that's what it felt like. There were some fairly lame lines that came off as ham-fisted exposition. The ground hog choir was about the only funny bit. Maybe it's the utterly unacceptable ending bleeding backwards and staining the rest of the episode, but I did not like this one. It honestly would have benefited from a Zuko b-plot, and I do not say that lightly.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #the library #having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card

[cursedvibes]

Hi..... Can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from JJK? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series (until now)? Thanks....

No problem. It gives me a great excuse to whip out this image of my top 9 jjk faves

They're not in order here, but compared to other categories, I don't actually have such a hard time ranking characters.

Kenjaku

I've talked about them a bunch, most recently on the last ask about my favourite characters, so I'll just summarize what I love about them: mad scientist + family drama + trans + chill & genre-savvy + Japanese history + body snatcher

2. Yuuji

Also like him for how he's a pretty unusual shonen protagonist. He's not overpowered, he doesn't want to become the jujutsu king/kage/president and almost every shonen mc trope he does exhibit gets punished or beaten out of him. He nontheless doesn't lose his base compassion for people. That compassion is also what will drive him to kill if he has to, something for the few people he actually hates. He's selfless to the point of suicidal. His whole character arc(s) revolves around him finding a satisfying way to die and now being forced to also find a satisfying reason to live (with how jjk is going, I don't think he'll find that but he's not able to die either). His conflicts with the villains are deeply personal, he doesn't just challenge them on the basis of them breaking the law or being some nebulous depiction of a bad person. That's how it starts out, but he can't beat them on that basis alone. He was only able to really hurt Mahito and defeat him after he accepted their personal connection and similarities.

3. Tengen

Problematic conservative grandma. She's really the root of all of the problems in jujutsu society, she's the one who build up the entire basis of the series from world building to the antagonists. Without her Kenjaku wouldn't be who they are right now, they would likely not try to challenge the system and forcefully advance humanity in the way they do and might even be dead for hundreds of years. Gojo wouldn't exist without her either. Riko wouldn't either and she also wouldn't have died the way she did. Same for Yuki. Sukuna might largely be influenced by her as well. She's responsible for so much of what's happening in the series, but gets all too easily overlooked both in-universe and outside. Her whole backstory is so fascinating, her relationship to Kenjaku drives me crazy and I do find her stubborn, kinda grumpy personality quite charming. Also gnc as fuck.

4. Uraume

While in Sukuna's case I really care more about his backstory than him as a person and find his personality not that exciting, it's the opposite for Uraume. I do want that Heian flashback and also see where Uraume came from and how they met Sukuna, but what I really like about them is their personality. At first glance they appear so calm and collected, just a loyal servant without much autonomy, but they're actually so much more. There's so much passion in them, they are so easy to tick off and always ready for violence. Especially in combination with Kenjaku they are so entertaining. I need to see them cook more often. Preferably human. That brief glimpse we got when they prepared Sukuna's bath was so good. The way they pinned down and sliced up those curses without destroying them...I want to see them do the same with humans.

5. Angel

Heian era's craziest paladin. I just love how hypocritical and bloodthirsty she is. She has her sense of justice and right and wrong, she doesn't pretend like everyone has to agree with it, but she will still mercilessly kill everyone in her way or who she just doesn't like for one reason or another. If Kenjaku is a social butterfly, she's a social caterpillar. I miss her just blatently telling the protagonists that she doesn't care about their goals or innocent people dying. She must have been wonderful to witness in politics. I'm really curious how her relationship to the Abe clan looked liked. It's such a shame that all that got toned down, so Sukuna didn't get one-shotted and Gojo could be freed. The volume 24 extra show though that Gege does care about her or at least her technique, giving me some hope that she will actually get something to do again soon. Once we get her backstory, she could easily rank above Uraume. Btw, I want more panels where Angel is just a mouth. No Hana, just that mouth with a monotone background and overly detailed teeth. It looks so fantastically creepy.

Favourite Moments

1. Kenjaku talking to Kogane

It's just such a good moment that does a lot for Kenjaku's characterization, their goals and relationship to Tengen (and arguably also Yuuji). Still feeling pretty ambivalent about ch222, but this was undeniably a highlight. It has had a tight grip on my mind ever since. I could write whole essays about it, starting with the scenary of it all. Kenjaku sitting alone, the only one in focus and the only one in the light, while being in front of a game console with two controllers that remain untouched and without a game running while talking to someone/something that/who can't hear them or can't understand them. Kogane is basically just a computer. It can't give insightful answers or challenge Kenjaku's beliefs, while Tengen has also lost all autonomy and most of her personality I assume. She also can't talk back, probably can't hear them and isn't even there, but Kenjaku still directs their musings at her, knowing she won't/can't answer, but still asking for her input, challenging her and leaving space for what would be her own words. They hate her, but also want her to do better and this scene really shows that while Kenjaku's plans my succeed, they probably won't get what they really want.

2. Yuuji chasing Mahito

Pretty easy pick. I'm really looking forward to seeing this animated soon. It's not just the beautiful imagery or how their roles have now reversed, but also what leads up to it. Yuuji accepts who he is, how he is not so different from Mahito. He discards any pretence of high and mighty reasons for why Mahito should die and embraces his hate. He's not pretending to be any better than Mahito, no "I'm not gonna kill you because I'm not like you", he says with absolute senserity that he will kill Mahito as many times as it takes. He's gonna hunt him down just like Mahito did. It's also the start of Yuuji giving into the role jujutsu society has put him in and starts thinking of himself as a cog, a mere object that serves others and blindly obeys its function (killing curses). I think getting Sukuna out of his body was the start to him evolving past that thinking, but this was a very necessary step. He needs to be broken down before being build back up. It was a great end for Mahito as a character as well.

3. Kenjaku & Tengen get Sukuna's body

This whole scene is so interesting. Like in the first moment it's basically just Kenjaku talking to their hand puppets again, but this time there's a bit more outside input. Ngl, the mere fact that Kenjaku and Tengen are together, talking to each other and working with each other excites me already. There's not much of Tengen's consciousness left and she can't actually refuse anything Kenjaku does, but their interactions were still very fascinating. What's also interesting is how they (both of them) treat Sukuna's corpse. They stroll up to it so casually, as if they have done it in the past. Kenjaku asks Tengen if they can take it and she says yes, but neither of them consider Sukuna and his wishes in all this. Kenjaku even jokes that it's their souvenir for him. It makes me so curious about how they are connected to him and what kind of relationship the three used to have. It gets even better now that we know that Tengen was the one who prepared his corpse (without his knowledge) and Kenjaku was the one who turned Sukuna into a cursed object. These two have clearly passed around Sukuna's corpse between them before. "Do you mind if I take his fingers?" "No, go ahead, I don't need them" This scene gets better and better as the story progresses.

4. MCs meeting Tengen

Speaking of scenes that get better with time, ch145 and 146 have been one of my favourites for a long time. They have to be on this list for how many times I've reread them alone. The more information and backstory we get, the more interesting this whole info dump becomes. There are always little phrases and moments that become a lot more meaning full on a reread. We also got so many hints. Tengen's connection to the Star Plasma Vessels and Six Eyes, Yuki being able to hear the other SPVs, Tengen and Kenjaku's relationship (many hcs were spawned by Tengen casually calling Kenjaku a child and I'm happy to see that many of them are turning out to be true), the first hints at Kenjaku's plan, even though a lot of depth was missing of course and Tengen underestimates some of their reasoning and end goals, and Tengen's utter failure to understand Kenjaku as a person (they aren't even that shy to talk about their reasons, especially to her! grandma please...).

5. Noritoshi preparing to die/visiting his mother

It's this scene of Noritoshi finding his mother again plus the context of her side of the story at the end of the Sakurajima colony and Maki's advice re matricide that really moves me. Probably Noritoshi's best scene so far. I really hope the reason he isn't with the others is because he went back to his mother to finally talk to her openly. I swear, these two are so horrible at communicating. It's so heartbreaking to see Noritoshi lose all will to live and being ready to die in battle to do at least something useful with his life. He dedicated everything to changing the Kamo from within for his mother, only to get kicked out of the clan and find out that his mother has moved on. Everything he has done so far becomes meaningless. However, it is what comes afterwards that makes it even more clear how toxic his mindset was. Noritoshi thinks poetic words about how he's gonna die for his friends, only to be interrupted by Daido and Miyo. It shows that this way of thinking is entirely unnecessary and something he has to break out of. It's what sets him on the right path to reunite with his mother. Kenjaku forced him out of the clan and gave him no way to return. His mother showed him that there is a way to live a happy life despite the abuse both of them suffered from the Kamo clan, it is possible to move on. Daido & Miyo disrupted his suicidal thoughts and took over the fight for him aka he has to rely on others and accept their "help" without giving anythign in return. Maki taught him that there might be a way to reconnect with his mother and that he should ask all the questions he has for her regarding his purpose and name openly. I really didn't care much for Noritoshi before, but this whole arc elevated him so much for me.

#asks #jujutsu kaisen #kenjaku #tengen #itadori yuuji #kamo noritoshi

[chiramffn]

Sorry, It Was Me

(Rafayel x OC(f); hurt with comfort, fluff in the end)

(author made this while listening to Afterglow by Taylor Swift and Love Me Again by V a lot)

***

“Seriously, what was wrong with me?”

He yelled at his canvas for the fourth time of the day.

It was wrong. Rafayel knows this. Yelling and arguing with each other were not the answer to a problem. Perhaps they can blame their work for taking tolls on them.

Thomas kept bothering him with the deadline these days. He said something about the sponsor of the exhibition? Or was it something about the venue? He can’t remember anymore. And for her, the wanderers are just going rampant in Linkon. The news about the hunters is always in the air even now. All those stresses just resulting them head-butting each other on one rare occasion when they finally met. They are just on the edge of anger all the time and very sensitive. The usual playful banter just spiraled down into a yelling contest. A clear mind was nowhere to be found.

(Flashback)

“Oh, I’m sorry that I can’t be there for you, Rafayel. I’m just busy keeping the city safe these days. Have you seen the news? Wanderers appear more and more in this one week!”

Sara is walking back and forth, trying to calm herself. It’s not working though. She hears a scoff from the couch.

“Oh yeah? Sorry that I bother you so much by asking for your attention. This particular painting has just been so difficult and Thomas keeps pressuring me about it. So, I just want some attention from you! My lover! Who would have thought that you FINALLY could come here because he asked you? It’s been a while, Sara! And you came because he asked you?” tells him, eyes very intense with anger.

“I told you, I AM busy! And Thomas just worried about you, you know? I can’t help-”

Rafayel stands from the couch. “Ah, so you side with him!”

“There is no side here, Rafayel.”

“Well, you just defended him. You are on his side! I can’t believe it. I want some attention from my girlfriend, but she keeps working non-stop, and one time she finally came here, she defended another man.”

“Rafayel, you are being so childish right now. “

“Sara! I just want you to prioritize ‘us’ more!”

“That is rather demanding. You know how I love my job!”

“And I. Love. You. Honestly, Y/N, why did you agree to go out with me? Do you even love me?”

Staring at him from across the room, she didn’t believe what she just heard.

“Of course, I do! I wouldn’t go out with someone I don’t like?”

Crossing his arm, Rafayel stared back at her, “But your action now said the opposite!”

Silence followed for a while and she just murmured, “I can’t believe this.” and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I can’t be around you right now, Rafayel.”

And with that, she just walked out of the studio.

***

All of that happened three days ago. Yet, there is still no news from her.

He tried to reach out to her, yes. Even three days ago, after several minutes after she walked out. It clicked right away in him that they said things they shouldn’t have to each other just now. But of course, she didn’t answer her phone. Again.

Three days. Three days without anything from her. His heart cannot help but keep beating anxiously. Being new to this relationship thing, does not help with negative thoughts which are swimming around his mind. Is he being forgotten again? Was she walking out because she was giving up on him? Is this relationship going to be okay? Is she okay? What if she is hurt because of him?

He cannot help but keep making mistakes in his painting these several days. Every brush stroke that he did just feels very wrong. Nothing is right. All is a mess.

“Maybe I should just go to her place.” is what he is thinking. This will be going nowhere if both of them keep whatever is happening right now in between them.

He was just cleaning his hands in the bathroom when he heard a faint call of his name.

“Rafayel…?”

Oh, how he misses her voice.

Sara is walking in his studio. Her head is turning left and right, searching for him. And then their eyes met. Rafayel can’t help but walk fast towards her. But as he got closer, he noticed there are some bruises in her face and hands. Sweet smile that just adorned his face slowly fading into a concerned frown.

“What happened?”

“Rafa-”

His eyes are observing every bruise that he can see now. Very unhappy with them.

“Are they coming from a wanderer? Or is there someone I need to get my hands on?”

Sara is confused at first but then he realizes what he means. “What? No. No. It’s just wanderers. It’s okay. I want to talk to you first.”

He took her hand in his and said, “As much as I do want to talk to you first too, I can’t, you are hurt. Let’s take care of them first.”

“But, Rafa-” She is silenced. The intense gaze that he suddenly gave her made her lips just shut. And seeing her finally agreeing, he ushered her to sit on the couch.

“Wait here, I’ll take the first aid kit.”

***

Sara is staring at the beautiful man in front of him. God, he is beautiful, she thought. And I think I hurt this beautiful and kind man.

She still remembers them clearly. All the words that they threw at each other. She called him demanding, and childish, and then just walked out. What in the world was wrong with me? She thought. Now regret just keeps filling up her heart and mind. And so is sorry.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened or am I supposed to wait until you finish looking at me like I am an art piece?” says Rafayel who is cleaning up the last bruise on her knuckle.

She chuckles a little.

“It was just as usual. Wanderers. This one type is very fast and I was…not in the right head space so it got me. And apparently, they keep happening again after that.”

“You hesitate?”

“I was thinking about our..fight. Rafayel, my love, I-“

The pet name is back, Rafayel thought. And he cuts her to the chase and says it first, “I am sorry.”

She was just about to open her mouth again, but close it again after seeing him about to continue his sentence.

“I am very sorry that my stresses and emotions took the better of me three days ago. I know I shouldn’t have said all those things to you. I am very very sorry.”

He took both of her hands. His eyes are staring at his thumb rubbing gently the area he just bandaged.

“You have no idea how precious you are to me. Priceless. No one can compare to you, princess. And the idea I just hurt you with my words, I can’t bear that. I keep thinking about you. Especially after the fight.”

He continues again, “I said many thing I didn’t mean at all. Asking if you love me at all? I shouldn’t do that. Then, I keep thinking if things gonna be alright. I keep thinking of where you are at the time. I keep thinking if I should contact you first or give you some space. ‘Is it okay if I gave her some space?’ I said to myself. ‘Or will the space make things worse and make you feel I don’t care about you?’ Not to mention I was being so demanding of you so I don’t wanna burden you more. I have all these thoughts. Making me realize once more how irreplaceable you are to me, love.”

He moves his hands to hold her face. Unconsciously, Sara is leaning on one of his hands while maintaining their eye contact.

“I love you with all I am and with all I have, princess. And I am sorry for hurting you with my actions.”

Moved is an understatement to what Sara is feeling right now. Her heart is just bubbling with emotions and she can feel her eyes are getting misty. She tried to fix her sitting position and trying to get closer to him.

“As much as you hold my heart preciously…”

Sara took his hand and put it in her chest, right above her heart. Then Sara leaned down and kiss the area above his heart too.

“… yours is something I hold very dearly too. This is very precious for me…”

Sara heard his gasp. She also can feel the faster beat of his heart. Then she leans her forehead to his chest.

“I love you very much, Rafayel. You have no idea.”

She kisses his chest again.

“My love.”

And then she kisses his collarbone.

“My treasure.”

Another kiss.

“My amazing other half.”

Sara keeps muttering sweet-nothings as she kisses his jaw, his cheek, and then his nose. His face is getting redder and redder. Yet, his eyes hold so much. When their eyes met, Sara can see affection, love, and eyes that getting misty. Holding his face in her hands, she says what she has been itching to say since she entered this room,

“And I am very sorry if I hurt this precious heart. It was very wrong for me to call you childish, and demanding, and then just walk out like that. This love you have for me. There is no single intention in me to hurt you, my dearest. I love you.”

Rafayel’s gaze is intense right now. Those blue and magenta swirling emotionally around each other. Suddenly he turned his head away from her,

“Now you’ve done it! I can’t help but accept the apologies, aren’t I?”

He turns his head again and covers her hands with his on his cheeks. Smiling while leaning down, he said something that she would never get tired of hearing it.

“I love you very much too, princess. 'Till the end of time."

***

(a/n: sorry if this is still farrrr from good. I am still learning to write more and more these days. If you guys want to leave your critics, I’m open to them. Thank you for reading!^^)

#love and deepspace #rafayel #rafayel x mc #rafayel x oc

[jonillaa]

hi hi can i request a jo slight angst then fluff at the end where you got into an argument and he cried T_T and oh! can female!reader be a noona? ^^

i feel bad seeing/imagining jo cry but he just looks so pretty when he does *flashback to &audition when he cried in that one ep 😭*

thank you so much, lovely!

STATIC ┊ asakura jo

PAIRING ┊ jo x noona!reader

GENRE ┊ slight angst , fluff

WC ┊521

WARNINGS ┊ jo cries , reader and jo are yelling at each other , arguing , bad writing , lowercase intended

SYNOPSIS ┊ jo and you have been dating for a while (before he joined &audition), but one night you both get into a heated argument about his busy schedule as an idol. the argument ends after you notice that jo is crying, which leads to you comforting him.

A/N ┊ AAAAA my first angst!! honestly i feel like this is terrible like idk i promise i wrote this in the span of 2 hours so im so sorry if it seems rushed T_T also ignore how the photos do not match with each other at all plz ..

the sound of a slammed door reverberated through the small apartment. tension hung heavy in the air as you and jo stood facing each other. you had been dating for several months now, but tonight, frustration and exhaustion drew the line between you both.

"i just don't understand why you can't make time for us," you spoke, your voice quivering with emotion. "we barely see each other anymore!"

jo’s shoulders stiffened at the accusation. he couldn't meet your gaze, instead choosing to fixate on the ground beneath his feet. "you know how busy i am as an idol, y/n. i wish you could understand."

"how am I supposed to understand if you never talk to me about it? we used to spend time together, jo. now all we have is glimpses of each other in between your hectic schedule!" your voice rose, anger and hurt seeping into their words.

frustration welled up within jo, his emotions boiling over. "it's not like i want it to be this way! being an idol is what i've worked so hard for, y/n. can’t you at least try to support me instead of adding to the pressure?"

silence hung in the air for a moment as both of them took a step back, suddenly aware of the intensity of their words. jo’s shoulders slumped, and he swiped a hand across his eyes.

that’s when you noticed the glistening tear tracks on jo’s cheeks. your anger instantly dissolved, replaced by concern and a twinge of guilt. stepping forward, you gently took jo’s trembling hands in your own.

jo tried to pull away, averting his gaze. "i-i’m sorry. i didn't mean to cry. it’s just... i’m tired, y/n. i’m tired of feeling like i’m disappointing you."

your heart sank at those words, gently letting your fingers intertwine with jo’s. "you could never disappoint me, jo. i just... i miss you. and i’m scared that we'll drift apart at this rate."

a shuddering breath escaped jo’s lips, his voice barely above a whisper. "i miss you too, y/n. but I can't give up on my dreams just because it's difficult. i don't want us to give up on each other either."

your grip tightened, voice filled with emotion. "i don't want to give up on you. i want to fight for our relationship, but i need you to meet me halfway. Communication is key, jo."

tears streamed freely down jo’s face now, his vulnerability laid bare. "y/n, i’m sorry for shutting you out. i should have talked to you about how i’ve been feeling. i... i never wanted us to argue like this."

you pulled jo into a tight embrace, your fingers gently caressing his back. "i’m sorry too, jo. i shouldn’t have lashed out. we needed this conversation, as difficult as it was."

you both stood there, holding each other, finding comfort in one another's presence. the weight between them slowly dissipated in the warmth of their shared embrace.

"i love you, y/n." jo whispered, his voice laced with raw sincerity.

"i love you too, jo. more than words could ever explain” you replied softly, your voice filled with tenderness.

#&team #&team x reader #&team scenarios #asakura jo #asakura jo fluff #asakura jo angst #asakura jo x reader #asakura jo smut #&team jo #&team jo x reader #&team jo fluff #&team jo angst #&team jo smut #jonillaa

[byrhop]

The Upside Down is what once used to be “Hellscape”

It isn’t a new concept that the Upside Down could be sort of a doorway between two dimensions: our dimension and Dimension X. We know that Hawkins replicated to the Upside Down on November 6th when El opened the gate.

But, where did Hawkins replicate exactly?

A while ago, I was playing with circles; trying to draw what this dimensional relation between the worlds could look like (it looked stupid and made no sense). I was very adamant to make something that could maybe feel right. Well, nothing did… until I looked at one of the samples – very frustrated – and realized I was looking at things too figuratively. All it took was a small giving up and one last look at those stupid circles, just as they are and BOOM CLICK (maybe).

The drawing looked very familiar.

They already showed us “The Upside Down” in a 1979 flashback, except it was called "Hellscape".

Let me tell you why I believe this could be true.

I went back to look through Michael Maher’s (concept illustrator for st) storyboards and concept art. It’s very interesting to me that he distinguished the realm Henry was falling through as “Hellscape” instead of calling it “Dimension X” as his other concept arts.

I looked at some of his storyboards, and noticed a very small detail there that I managed to miss before.

Remember, this was the final storyboard for 4x07.

Now what do we have here? To me, it looks like Henry was just about to fall through a gate, but instead, they slowed time and zoomed into him to make a transition back to 1986 Vecna. One of the reasons for that may be that they didn’t want to reveal this just yet.

That gate was an opening to the Dimension X.

Yes, sounds a bit far-fetched, but bear with me.

I mean, we never saw Henry fall down, nor does Hellscape resemble the Dimension X shown to us in episode 9. It would make a cool s5 revelation that wouldn’t be hard to pull off.

Let’s go back a bit.

El sent Henry straight through the gate in 1979. She didn’t make a connection with the Dimension X, just a physical crack in our dimension. This sends Henry flying through an inter-dimensional space, as described by Maher once again.

And by this concept design that was ditched because of, I believe, either filming complications or time/budget consumption, the gate opened from one of those cloud planes.

The future Upside Down is that inter-dimensional space.

I think that’s why the gates always opened weirdly; there are no rules for up and down because this place has no sense of direction.

Here is my take on how the Upside Down formed. I’ll talk about how the Philadelphia experiment plays into all of this after, because there is still one little catch here.

I didn’t add 1984 and 1985 to save space, but you get the gist.

When Henry landed in the Dimension X, he went through one more gate, and that gate never closed. My theory here is that the Mind Flayer and Henry very soon after started spreading into and shaping the Hellscape (no hawkins yet, just vines and stuff).

So, this started happening in 1979 and would be a pretty good explanation for, I believe the Duffer brothers’ comment, that there is somewhere “where the creatures are coming from”. Once he settled in the Hellscape and started “building” this new realm, he just waited for the moment for another gate to open and for that barrier between Hawkins to officially weaken.

When El made a psychic connection with Demogorgon, the creature was already out of the Dimension X.

All of this would mean that there is already a gate somewhere in the Upside Down that leads to the Dimension X.

I think there is one more very important detail here – electricity.

We all know that electricity plays a big part in Stranger Things; hell, Joyce’s lights are practically what made this show this famous in the first place.

I want to talk about the role electricity has in connecting these dimensions and what those light particles in the Upside Down could be.

I made a theory back in July where I talked about the possible importance of The Storm and how it could be much more than just for the "aesthetic." You can check out the theory here. Keep in mind this was written before we found out Henry is controlled by the Mind Flayer and not the other way around, but everything else still stands.

As I said, the electricity connects and flows. I see it almost as a current between dimensions. Now, if my theory is correct and the Upside Down is this inter-dimensional space in between, when someone plays with lights in the Upside Down that disrupts this current, and causes things to light up in Hawkins. Those light particles we saw are, I believe, just photons.

Eddie said, “It tickles”, so that would make sense.

What does all of this have to do with the Philadelphia Experiment? (The First Shadow spoilers)

Brenner’s dad took part in the experiment, trying to make a ship invisible, but what happened instead was that they transported the ship directly into the Dimension X. This incident wasn’t a result of someone’s supernatural powers, but rather just scientific testing. Wouldn’t it be interesting if, by channeling enough energy, you could actually connect to those currents and, with that, create a direct pathway from one dimension to the other?

This could also possibly explain how the Russians got a hang of the demo creatures; they also opened a gate scientifically – the same way Brenner’s father did – creating that same pathway directly into the Dimension X and not the Upside Down.

Again, the duffers implied already that demogorgons, demodogs, demobats… don’t originate from the Upside Down and that there is a reason why the characters don’t run into all of them constantly.

I can't find that specific interview, so if anyone has it, please share with the class. For now, you’ll have to be satisfied with this

Anyways, this is my little theory that had a bit of reaching (understatement), but I think it’s a fun one. I’m very curious about all the Upside Down lore that is in front of us and how they’ll explain stuff.

#i’m reaching #but reaching is fun #who knows #stranger things #stranger things s5 #vecna stranger things #stranger things theory #stranger things s4 #byler #will byers #eleven #mileven #max mayfield #steddie #Rst5theory

[accio-victuuri]

cpn : rainbow pants, wdb clowning & missing piece

There’s been some interesting conversations on wyb’s jeans from yesterday’s chanel event. the choice of colors in particular and the fact that it’s from a different designer. so the designer is Junya Watanabe, a Japanese fashion designer and a protégé of Comme des Garçons designer Rei Kawakubo. He continues to work for Comme des Garcons and he produces four shows a year in Paris. He does a lot of collabs and had ones with Carhartt and Nike which are some of wyb’s favorites.

patchwork is one of his signature design and is not limited to jeans. and well in the case of what wyb wore, a lot of people noticed the rainbow 🏳️‍🌈 among other colors featured.

As with wardrobe choices at public events, there could be a number of reasons why this was chosen:

1. It’s a pop of color from his all black ensemble and it’s more or a style choice than personal.

2. The event is in Japan so it would be nice to blend that — with a famous designer from the country + Chanel.

3. I tried to check if he has some ties with Chanel and only found an inspired piece that he made. So it’s safe to say the designer is “Chanel” friendly.

Personally, the most sus thing for me aside from the rainbow is the date he chose to wear it — the first day of June, which also happens to be Pride Month. Whether this is a conscious & deliberate choice is something we will never know but to those who were happy with this “sign” then go ahead. This is the same guy who endorsed Chanel’s rainbow watch so he’s not afraid of it and the potential association. This is not going around that much among c-turtles, or not as loud, I guess they just don’t want a repeat of the ben & jerry thing. Incase some people pick it up and make it go on HS.

A joke making the rounds tho is this 🤣🤣🤣:

It is a different pattern of course but it’s hilarious how people are going “now we know where the missing piece from zz’s pants are..”

I was also checking JW other works and these are giving me flashbacks to WYB’s other “outrageous” pants/jeans choices 😂😂😂

Next up is our skate couple! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I hope they get to do this together. or maybe they already did and of course that’s their personal time that we will never see. GG in WDB and Web’s Chanel cruise roller skating. GG wasn’t as competitive as Yibo but it’s a lovely coincidence. 💕

There is also a scene in the drama where he is drawing the second female lead, turtles noticed that when he is starting to draw the face it looks similar to Bobo 🥹🥹🥹🥹

We haven’t seen in BTS if ZZ has anything to do with this drawing, tho i doubt he did and this is more of a prop. It’s just that the universe can’t help but connect them to each other.

-END.

#a short clowning post #yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

[respectthepetty]

Hi RTP! 👋 big fan.

I'm watching We Best Love: Fighting Mr. 2nd (and I think I like it more than the first season???)

Anyway, I've seen your color post about them, but in S2 specifically I've been noticing reflections, mirrors and glass barriers are a thing a lot? I'd love to hear your thoughts, if you're willing.

Peace and love! 🖤💙

Anon, you like the second season of We Best Love more than the first season?!

You like this

over this?!

I won't fight you because both hold a special place in my heart and on my Top Taiwanese BLs list since Taiwan finally delivered me a color-coded BL TWICE (which I missed the first time around until @gillianthecat asked me about it! - Look at Zhou Shu Yi give Gao Shi De his heart while they wear their respective colors! )

So I'm thrilled to answer this ask, but know I won't be mentioning the second or third pair. That's too much! I gotta focus on the main couple.

I also will be writing about how the show used space in general to reinforce the narrative. I'm unsure if you have finished watching the second season, so let me warn you that there will be spoilers ahead.

SPOILERS!

We started the second season with a flashback to how it all went sideways for the boys after the first season ended, and the aftermath gives us the first reflection of Zhou Shu Yi who is heartbroken and dismayed.

After this, Zhou Shu Yi is closed off emotionally AND physically. He lives in a concrete house!

And even though the entire workspace is an open concept with glass offices,

The main office they argue in has the shades down on all the windows, so people can't see inside. Even when Zhou Shu Yi is riding in the car with his friends, the windows have curtains to block out the world.

While Gao Shi De's house has plenty of sunlight streaming in from the windows, and he tends to talk outside, out in the open.

We only see Zhou Shu Yi's emotions in reflections because mirrors show us the truth (mirror, mirror, on the wall and blah blah blah).

So even though Zhou Shu Yi claims he is over Gao Shi De and continues to hide his emotions behind shaded windows, concrete walls, and barriers, the mirrors and the colors don't lie. Since you read the colors post, you know that no matter what Zhou Shu Yi does, he is always surrounded by Gao Shi De's blue, just like he was when they were in high school, but now he is staring at a shattered image of them.

However, both guys pick up a trait from the other. After their sexually charged back-and-forth in the shaded office, Gao Shi De's reflection in the BLACK table shows he is quickly breaking down due to Zhou Shu Yi's animosity.

And Zhou Shu Yi decides to step outside and speak openly about his lingering feelings for Gao Shi De while wearing a BLUE stripe across his shirt.

But both their issues finally come to the surface when Zhou Shu Yi learns about the lines Gao Shi De and his father crossed without his consent. We visually see those barriers being crossed as well.

This forces Zhou Shu Yi in a box, alone and isolated.

And the two who are responsible for their own predicaments are forced outside to clear the air to get rid of the barrier between them.

Because everything is out in the open now, Zhou Shu Yi's world starts to brighten up, and we see him near the windows since his feelings are no longer being repressed.

Even when he gets sick, he ends up in Gao Shi De's blue car that has windows without the black-out curtains.

Zhou Shu Yi might still be upset at Gao Shi De, but he is willing to forgive him, so they are now in the glass box together since their feelings are completely out in the open.

We get a call back to the bed scene from season one, but this time, Zhou Shu Yi 's eyes are open and the light is shining through because there are no more secrets.

And this honesty transfers to the office. We now see the boys in the glass office together, without all the shades down.

We also see Gao Shi De trusting Zhou Shu Yi marked by him standing in front of the open blinds, while Yu Zhen Zuan, standing behind the closed blinds, does not trust Zhou Shu Yi.

The guys are stronger together now that everything is out in the open, and they revisit the bridge from the first season where they laid everything bare and confessed to each other.

Because even though they have to be secretive to find the person who is responsible for the company leak (which is why they have to go back into the shaded office)

They remain in their own open glass box of honesty.

The only remaining barrier is the one between Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi's father, who still wants to keep secrets from Zhou Shu Yi.

Gao Shi De speaks with him in front of the window acting as the divide, but since it is a window with no curtains and the blinds are open, we already know that Zhou Shu Yi's father can no longer allow his secrets to be the barrier between him and his son's boyfriend.

With everything finally settled, the boys enjoy their glass box of honesty over dinner with the light shining on them.

And the series ends with their friends getting engaged, and them coming back to to where it all began - in the openness of the blue water, which is the biggest reflection of their love.

Thanks for this ask, Anon. I'm making a separate post of two more color items I noticed while collecting a few images for this post. Our Blue Boy, Gao Shi De, had a blue cell phone and blue chopsticks when talking with and eating with his Black Brooder boyfriend, but I never noticed that, so once again, thanks, and I hope I answered your question!

#We Best Love #we best love: fighting mr. 2nd #background noise #barriers x boundaries #the colors mean things #Blue Boy x Black Brooder #Where is my third season?!

[mamashenanigans]

Alrighty guys. It’s time once again for me to discuss AFO and his “feelings”.

First and foremost: it’s quite disappointing how many fans discount anything to do with AFO. There’s some unbridled anger that seems to be derived from a love for another character(often Tomura/Tenko) which is a shame because these people are missing out on some amazing context clues, possibly on purpose, because they don’t want to acknowledge the possibility that AFO isn’t a one dimensional villain.

At the beginning of MHA, the same could be said of All Might. He seemed to just be a one dimensional hero until we started to get his backstory. That’s when he became relatable and no longer just All Might, but Yagi Toshinori. AFO is supposed to be his antithesis, so it would actually be strange if AFO didn’t have something that made him relatable as well. For All Might, it was a student teacher bond and the experience of him having lived a life as a Quirkless individual(like Deku).

AFO is evil, but how does one become evil? Is an individual born that way or does circumstance cause them to embrace something that is considered evil by everyone else. Prime AFO(the now regenerated original AFO) has spoken briefly about why he does things and it seems to point in that sort of direction.

In the flashbacks to AFO and Yoichi, AFO makes excuses for his actions as bringing “order”, an obsession reiterated by TomurAFO. When speaking to his brother, AFO never states he is evil. He even makes it clear that what his followers have done wasn’t by his own hands, so there is no blood on them. Obviously, we know that isn’t really true, but the man is trying really hard to make his brother, and perhaps himself, believe it is true. What’s interesting is that AFO has embraced the title of “evil” in the present time. What changed between the past and now? Hmm….

With the excellent flashback Hori gave us in the last issue, we are presented with a sad AFO. So much so, that the tears don’t stop even while he kills the 2nd user. Just through art, there’s a fury there. One so deep, that AFO is eerily calm. The most dangerous he could be. Why is he crying? It’s fairly obvious: the only thing that could invoke such an emotion in the “Demon King” would be the death of his brother. Though long ago now in terms of the MHA manga, the one time we get a hint of humanity from AFO is when he states that he loves Yoichi. A being like him loving anything is already quite a feat and, of course, there’s been both outer and inner dialogue concerning his brother ever since. AFO considers OFA itself as “little brother” and his obsession with taking it back means a lot in the story.

This is because, for a villain that wants to rule the world, the only power that could counter him is OFA. However…he’s obviously allowed every prior OFA user to transfer the power, even though he killed them all(except the 4th if I remember correctly). We can theorize that he may not have known very early on with 2nd and 3rd and even 4th that what is left of Yoichi resides within the power, but he attempted to take the power from Banjo and En. It is those interactions that seems to have propelled him to the ultimate plan of molding a body with hate so strong he can overpower OFA’s will. AFO allowed the users to give the power away before killing them as doing so otherwise would “kill” what was left of Yoichi. It would be incredibly easy to just kill these users WITH OFA still a part of them as that would take away the ultimate threat to his desires. But we know there’s another, deeper desire: AFO wants Yoichi.

Now, let us again reference Darth Vader, the character that is obviously, in some ways, an inspiration for AFO.

Darth Vader was considered the ultimate, badass villain ever…before the end of Empire Strikes Back. Fanzine fanfics, fandom talk, and etc, in the early days of Star Wars shows this. However, Empire Strikes Back does something many regular viewers miss: the mannerisms of Vader, as much of his emotion is derived from body language, shows the viewer that there is much more behind the mask. After revealing Luke’s parentage, his son is able to escape, even with all of Vader’s plans in place. With the Falcon escaping, Vader attempts to reach his son through the force and his words hold a weight that fans at the time may have been confused by. There’s a want there. He is desperate. He’s begging. After the Falcon hits light speed and escapes, Vader’s mannerisms in front of the window of the Executor speaks more volume than words: he can’t believe it. He lost the only thing he has left of a wife he loved so much he gave up his humanity. He turns away then back. Then we have Admiral Piett, expecting to be force choked out of existence, but Vader’s sadness causes him to not even care. It is this introduction of emotion from an otherwise terrifying villain that started to cause the fandom to rethink this character. Mind you, there was nothing else besides this other than the novelizations.

Little things like mannerisms can mean a lot in the long run for villains. With AFO, we are shown his tears, the crying purposefully highlighted by Hori reversing the usual shadowing of AFO’s eyes to shadowing the lower half of his face instead. Hori wants you to concentrate on AFO’s eyes. He wants you to internalize AFO’s tears. They matter.

Now, harking back to my statement about what “makes someone evil”: Vader fell to the Dark Side because he wanted to save someone he loves. This love transformed into obsession and possession as he continued down the black hole of the Dark Side. Anakin was already about Order, but it became an obsession as Order would mean that he had CONTROL over everything around him, something a once slave boy would need in order to mentally survive. The Jedi Order gave him that, for a time, before he became jaded as the love he felt for his wife was considered abhorrent.

So, was AFO’s idea of Order and desire to rule just a whim? Or did he experience an insane upheaval of humanity when Quirks manifested? There was no Order and it probably affected the brothers as they tried to survive in a world turned upside down. Although there is obviously selfishness behind it(same as with Anakin), AFO still tries to rationalize his reasoning as being a means to create Order in the world. However, his brother knows him intimately, as a family member, and can parse through his brother’s words. For someone that probably made Order an excuse for all his actions, this would be quite annoying for AFO.

But why does he readily call himself evil now? Because “good”, because “heroes”, were why Yoichi died. The idealism of them already turned Yoichi against him with what he considers foolish, but it was also vigilantes, heroes in their day, that took Yoichi away from him and filled his head with more idealism. It probably caused Yoichi’s death. With tears presented as such, we can easily accept that Yoichi’s death was not purposeful, but probably a, what AFO considers, symptom of this heroic idealism. So what is one to do when they believe this is why their loved one died? Especially if they can’t accept the fact that their own decisions caused the death in the first place? Blame the heroes. And what is the opposite of the hero? The villain. AFO takes on the mantle of evil, not because he just wants to be evil, but because it’s the opposite of the ideals that caused his brother’s death.

I’m hopeful, especially with this flashback, that we’ll get more of the brothers’ backstory and also a better understanding of why AFO became the Symbol of Evil he is now. I feel that revealing it and examining it would fit more with the messages of MHA than the usual Shonen fair we’re used to.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

EDIT: In case people missed my post about it…I often do theory dumping when I’ve had a “bit” to drink. So, yeah, you are partly reading the drunken thoughts of a nerdy person.

#all for one #afo #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #yoichi shigaraki #one for all #bnha afo #bnha yoichi #first one for all user #theorycrafting #my thoughts #chapter 369 #chapter 369 spoilers #spoilers

[readreactrant]

Hi...Do you know what anime you'll watch this season?

My top 3 fav this season are :

- Tadaima, Okaeri (wholesome BL, also one of my comfort read)

-Black Butler : Public School Arc (yes the ship is problematic but you cannot deny the shipper when you watch it. I'm not shipping SebasCiel but I'm not anti too. Their canon relationship is complicated but great story)

-Wind Breaker (bucchigiri but way better and loveable mc)

Hope you'll like them.....

Hey hey ( ◜‿◝ )♡, Literally following all of these already.

Black Butler was definitely a must, since the announcement dropped sometime last year I've been unable to keep it out of my mind. It's understandable not everyone will ship them but I personally have missed Sebaciel shenanigans so much and seeing favorite characters like Soma (although with less melanin than I remember lol what =_=) in the recent episode just made me so happy.

As for Tadaima Okaeri, I was looking forward to it for a long time, so far I'm not disappointed and it's definitely so fucking cute. All I'm saying is...if any country needs to push baby making propaganda they should go for this instead of the trashy het stuff, I don't make the rules.

I have almost no thoughts on Wind Breaker. It's definitely an upgrade but after the disappointment that was Bucchigiri, I've began to keep my expectations for Delinquent shows low (Tokyo revengers and IWGP are yet to be topped for me). It's not bad but do feel like it's lacking substance in some areas and trying too hard. The main character isn't a bitch tho so I know there's hope for it yet.

To me this year's winter season had way more exciting stuff but there are a number of other anime I'd love to recommend for this spring.

Karasu wa aruji wa Erabanai (The Raven does not choose it's Master) Is almost like the apothecary diaries, but with magic, and without the herbs and medicine...but it has the court politics so yay (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ taking place in a world where people can turn into three legged ravens called Yatagurasu, Yukiya after causing some trouble for his family is taken to serve the most special of specials crown prince who is to become the next Kin'u after picking a bride from the four daughters of the clan heads sent to him. So basically every gay historical romance Wattpad story lol. Unfortunately this isn't a bl and though you can probably tell the prince will get married in future episodes, from these three eps, I think it establishes the focus will be on him and Yukiya, which, I couldn't ask for more.

Another Recommendation is Kaijuu no. 8, I have no words (in a good way). Just spacial forces slaying gigantic monsters while the main character suddenly becomes one of those monsters and has to still join the special force that at some point will kill him if they find out, or if they have found out they realize he's different from other monsters and can help them win the war for humanity *aot flashbacks ಥ‿ಥ* What I'm trying to say is that... it's good. I think it's funny with characters that have to potential to reel you in. I've been told the manga is pretty average tho but we'll see.

Touken Ranbu Kai is...something, I don't watch anime just for pretty boys but even if I didn't like the plot of this one I'd stick with it just for the guys. Beautiful character designs, the lore feels very fresh and intriguing and as well. There's a lot of philosophical topics I think the show has potential to dive into and I'm excited to see where we go moving forward from the three eps out currently.

Last but not least, there's Sentai Daishikkaku (Go Go Loser Ranger) I really don't want to spoil anything but let me just say, it's a brilliant subversion of the Power Rangers narrative. The sound track is fun while also hitting hard, and the characters definitely leave you wanting to know more about them and the world they're in. Definitely give it a try, I don't think you'll regret it.

Got a bit carried away with this one hahah, welp that's all my recs for now. Aside from my shipping stuff I'll probably talk about any of these every now and then, my top three right now tho are definitely Black Butler, Sentai Daishikkaku and Karasu wa aruji wa Erabanai. Anon has amazing taste but I'm a very big action and supernatural fan at heart so I'm based.

Depending on how disappointing or exciting things get along the line this list might change but unfortunately my feelings don't help the state of my FAL ranking so yeah wish me luck (〒﹏〒)

Feel free to leave YOUR current top 3 for this season in the comments, or if you joined FAL like me or just what you think of any of these of you're already watching them (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

#anime #writeblr #kuroshitsuji #black butler #anime recommendation #spring anime 2024 #Karasu #karasu wa aruji wo erabanai #kaiju no. 8 #sentai daishikkaku #touken ranbu kai

[lutawolf]

Love In the Air Ep 9 Review & Running Commentary

We are now entering into the territory of Sky and Prapai. Be prepared people because there is going to be Sexual Assault triggers. I warned about this before but I think a few people really didn't understand. I'm also seeing a lot of people give backlash to MAME which is not cool. MAME does not do this for fun, it's actually therapeutic writing. I think that's one reason why I'm less triggered, I'm used to listening to and reading work by survivors. I'm more triggered when surprised by it, where I don't have a chance to brace myself. Luckily a lot of people have given me support with this.

For those who missed my early reviews, they can be found here.

Lets do this. Anybody else hear "I'm too sexy for my shirt." While Prapai is holding all this shit up and looking at himself in the mirror? No, just me, the old person in the room. Well okay then. Look at little sis with that brat energy. And look at Prapai just putting it right out there. Why? Because he has every intention of catching him. Look at you asking the youn gun for advice. Aren't you just in unknown territory.

I love Sky's facial expressions so much. You always know what he is thinking and at this moment he is clearly annoyed with the food situation. What is it with guys and condiments? Let us pick it up and look at it like it will magically turn into something. Hahaha, must be my imagination. 🤣🤣🤣 How often you thinking of him that you think it's your imagination? And look at Prapai implementing some advice and using that Nong title.

Dead, you mean those flowers, that are right there. Where I can see them. Those flowers you mean. 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry Sky, Prapai got your number. Look at that quick expression from Sky, he can't help but find Prapai just a bit funny. Clearly bribed! "I haven't figured out your eye color even though I'm right here." "Are you color blind?" "No, but love makes me blind"

Trigger warning: Flash Backs: Deep breath. Yeah, that's about the whole of it. He is flashing back to when someone else, once told him they loved him.

PTSD is what occurs in people who have lived through a specific traumatic event or series of events like war, a serious car accident, sexual assault or natural disaster. C-PTSD is the result of prolonged exposure to trauma over longer periods of time, often during childhood. From a PTSD or C-PTSD stand point there are two different types of flashbacks: typical flashback and/or an emotional flashback.  A typical flashback is a sudden re-experiencing of a traumatic event in an person’s life. It might feel like you’re visually seeing the upsetting event over and over in your head, but it’s more intense than just a memory because your senses are typically triggered as well. Sight, sound, touch, and smell. Though the person experiencing the flashback may be safe, they don't feel safe. They are relieving all the experiences attached to that moment. An emotional flashback is when someone who has survived complex trauma feels “taken over” by an emotional experience such as scared, abandoned, helpless, or unsafe. Rather than re-experiencing a specific traumatic event in a relatively short period of time, an emotional flashback, can be quick or last for hours or days, sometimes even weeks. Typically it's when a person experience both that a panic attack will set in because the fight or flight has been activated. Yet there is nothing to fight even though mentally the person is sure they should be.

I want to point out that someone who isn't familiar with these types of flashbacks, isn't going to know how to explain them. It would be like never having ate a food but trying to describe it. Yet MAME describes it perfectly in their books.

So what Sky just experienced would be an emotional flashback. Even though it was relatively quick, we can't be sure he is actually over it. If you recall how Sky acted after having sex with Prapai, that was typical emotional flashback and you saw how long he felt that. Can I say that I'm pretty proud of Prapai for noticing that Sky wasn't okay. He is making his way out of fuck boy status. He's learning Sky and really trying.

Look at Prapai just grabbing Sky's hand. Guys, the fact that Sky isn't already swinging says a lot towards how he views Prapai. He is thick all over so lets cuddle 🤣🤣🤣 OH, Oh, see that face. Sky really does enjoy Prapai's humor. Which leads me back to the previous joke and the likely hood that he understood it to be a joke. Fuck, I love the way Prapai kind of drags Sky along. I love the way he is softly speaking to Sky. Like he is dealing with a timid puppy even though he knows this puppy has teeth.

Could You Be The Wind That Passes By

Aww, look at the cutie fixing his bed head. Meanwhile, Prapai just being amused. FYI in the book Sky dresses like this because of what was done to him. That is a common trait of SA survivors. I stayed in pjs for almost a year after the last assault. Also something that only an SA survivor would think to put in a book. Sorry guys, you might not like this review as much. Onwards. Sky doesn't see himself anything but ordinary but clearly Prapai sees him differently. Look at Sky's reaction to Prapai saying all this then when he gets to sweet lips. Awww look at him building up baby's self esteem. Prapai sees it too, he's so happy. Thennnnn he pushes too far. Dumbass. Haha, I love it, smack that hand Sky. Ouch, don't hurt me sky. Don't talk about yourself like that. First time going on a date with someone so down to earth 🤦🏽‍♀️ Have you even gotten to the date step before? The nipple piercings! Ha! They get talked about a lot in the book.

Prapai reminds me of one of my kids. I'mma poke you till you give me the attention I deserve. I call my oldest a black cat for this exact reason. I also call her a brat in the making. To which she replies "what's your excuse then." Um.. I'm a Sadist. We annoy for emotional damage enjoyment, totally different. Sky's inability to handle Prapai's flirting is so fucking cute. Here, let me just drink this water, I am completely immune to you. You know what. I'mma just leave.

Prapai is simping you guys. He is eating this shit up. He just chases after Sky. Sky is like bitch, I'm not a fuck buddy to your fuck boyiness. Pounce and Bounce 🤣🤣🤣 In the book Prapai is like dude, you knew that was a joke. Oh Oh, we are seeing our first bit of annoyance from Prapai. He wants Sky to know he is serious so he puts on his serious face.

Sky is like, no touchy touchy. I know a guy like you won't commit. You just enjoy the chase. Prapai you is like, dude, I'm not playing! Serves you right fuck boy. Gonna have to work hard if you want treasure.

Rain, you really trying to be upset right now. You really looking around you dumbass. Don't act like you didn't know that home boy was gay. No Rain, it's not obvious that you got bribed. Stupid Rain. It's okay Sky. Prapai, hurry back and pat the baby boy's head. I can't take this sad boy. And there it is guys, it's not that he doesn't like Prapai himself, it's that he can't trust himself to be with anyone.

Trigger Warning: Flashbacks: He dreams of being assaulted by the group. Even though we aren't seeing things, I think the fact that he has a nipple ring in indicates that he is back there. So, this time we are getting a typical flashback. Slight panic attack because it is a flashback dream but believe it or not this will actually help cushion the mind some. Which is why he isn't having a full-blown panic attack. By waking up, the body recognizes the need to not fight so it can begin the calm down process. At this point, I would like to say a huge thank you to the many people who in-boxed me with trigger warnings. NotFree even sent me time stamps. Thank you so much guys 💜💜💜

Aww, look at that smile. You guys, I can't tell you what it means to have someone there to distract you when wake up from a flashback. To have a bit of normalcy. While Prapai is cheesy, he is also giving Sky what he needs right now which is to not feel alone. Yes Sky, you are crazy but I'm here for it. Aww, he blocked his number. You gonna have to work harder Prapai. Ahh the mantra, this too shall pass. It's something I repeat at least once a day.

Look at Payu's face!!! Hahahah!!! Prapai wouldn't have gotten where he has gotten if he wasn't smart guys. It's just that he is a fuck boy and has never applied that intelligence and observation to a partner. Now that he is. Sky is screwed. Prapai cares. Fuck boy has gone simp. Ohh, look at that honesty. He tells him the truth, so he has an excuse to come see him. He likes a challenge Sky, he isn't gonna give up on you. You present everything that a boy like him wants. Face it boy's got a prey kink.

Oh No! Sky is sick! This fucking coconut. I love Sig your honor but seriously. Look how Sky helps everyone. He needs someone to take care of him. Did psycho buy another phone just to talk to his boy?? Niceee. Awww look, somebody is missing somebody. Looks like the walls are cracking just a bit.

These lovely bunch of coconuts, smh. It's okay, I'm sure Sky will get it done. Well at least Sig tried to be caring. Sig, i'm gonna need you to fuck the attitude out of Som already. He's getting on my nerves. Go Sig go!! Love this Bitch. 🤣🤣🤣 I'll go piss him off again. Hhahahaha. Love this Bitch.

Oh baby boy. Damn this is hard because I know what this feels like. The mantra again, this too shall pass. I'm not kidding, I sometimes think that I need this tattooed on me. I'm not even kidding, it's really what gets me through shit sometimes. So why is Sky losing it. Because He has always depended on himself. His mom isn't in the picture, his dad wasn't really there. He raised himself there for he has been lonely and depended on himself, when he tried to depend on someone else, he was abused and let down. He can't afford to run that risk again. I need to hug the baby!

Bunch of coconuts but they are there for their friend. Prapai buying new sims cards every time he is blocked, lol. Look a boy jumping up and heading out the door before fully forming a sentence. Told you guys, Prapai was in love from the first slide in. That walk though, what the fuck is that. Like he got a dick up his ass. You need to practice the concerned walk dude. No dumbass you can't trust him but go head then.

Nope not just sex buddy boy. You head over heels you are. HAHA the part where I called my boyfriend to be dad a bastard. Finally putting in the fucking curse words. Dude, he is so gone for this boy. Fuck that sound mike is annoying. In an ASK recently I explain that in the book Prapai is soul deep in love with this boy and though he is a scoundrel, Sky makes him a better person. He begins bettering himself to be better for Sky and he doesn't even really realize it. He just does it. See, even admits for never caring for a sick person before but for Sky he just does it without thought.

See, he even stopped himself because of his promise to Rain. He isn't a dick you guys. Just a fuck boy but he's getting better. Look at him even cleaning up!!

I liked it! Yeah, he's still a fuck boy. I mean he practiced how to say Sky's name in the mirror. To be fair though, he's never chased someone or really had to flirt. His looks and money have always gotten him laid. Now he has to navigate this weird world since he wants more than that from Sky. I'm looking forward to seeing him grow into a better person. Well, we are at the end. Hope you guys enjoyed! 💜💜💜 Dedicated to @ellaspore and the coconuts mafia

#love in the air series #love in the air the series #love in the air kink #luta opinions