ohthisisgonnasuck

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

My animals are all sassy AF; I wonder where they get it from.

#why am i like this? #lmao #pets #cats #snek

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

A haiku, courtesy of my father:

I know nice people.

I know very rude ones.

Their jobs can vary.

honestly kind of maddening that the jokes about shitty nurses still rely on invoking the ontologically evil mean girl who is just attracted to nursing for reasons of intrinsic personal badness, when what's actually happening is that pretty much any situation in which one person is in a position of structural power over another, and assumed to be more credible or reliable by dint of professional or social capital, is conducive to creating and enabling patterns of abuse

#haiku #lmao #fml #US healthcare is a joke #thank you #dad #this is why we can't have nice things

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

Oh, they did the thing in my bed!

Absolutely surrounded by pussy (there is a cat sleeping on either side of me while I play video games in bed)

#cats #cat #kitty #purrdy #purr babies

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

Artsy, tasteful, and flawless skin?

Cherry indeed!

₊♡₊˚ 🍒・₊✧

♡age in bio before following♡

#art #cherry #so pretty #skin

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

TIL: Ben Stein wasn't just a "boring guy" actor/voice actor. Some of the surprising shit:

- professor of economics

- worked for 2 US presidents

- considered a comedian

- Wikipedia page not fully sourced

- still alive & working

#ben stein #wtf? #odd #TIL

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

Having more than one cat and they just pile on/around you, is the most magical feeling.

Pussy pile perfection.

Absolutely surrounded by pussy (there is a cat sleeping on either side of me while I play video games in bed)

#cats #cat #kitty

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

Flashback:

When I was like 13, my friend's mom threw an old bag of Skittles out the sunroof and it whacked a pedestrian in the face.

This psycho-ass bitch said "Oh, shit! I guess he's tasting the rainbow!"

#blast from the past #i love that bitch #lmao #why am i like this? #bad joke

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

Bruh, how the FUCK can you slam your doors so hard you rattle MY shelves? And 100x a day? Really? REALLY?

Not even fucking joking I legit counted 20x in 30mins? HOW ARE YOUR DOORS/CABINETS EVEN ATTACHED TO HINGES ANYMORE? HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THAT?

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

I love being a whore online but being a whore in person ..... big time scary actually

#big-time #fml #why am i like this? #that life #fuuuuuuck em

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

How do I keep my dumbass cats from burning their whiskers on my candles? I tried a lampshade, but that was a /bad/ idea. 😐

#fucking hate this mobile app #why are cats? #toxoplasmosis probability = 90% #cats #silly fuckers #fml

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

i will never be normal about anything ever. this is my gift to you

#oh fuck yeah!

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

My monkey brain reacting to specific facial structures, in strangers, for no reason:

Me, trying to be a human:

#neither of these characters are anywhere near okay #i have problems #why am i like this? #fml #gif

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

My BMI vs. alcohol consumption rate is so ridiculous, I wouldn't even mind doing it in a laboratory.

In multiple BAC calculations, I should be dead & I just blew a 0.2 on my friend's lil pocket breathy. (I'm fine, even the DD said so)

I KNOW THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING! But, medically speaking, could be interesting...?

#alcohol #alcoholic #formerly recovering #i hate my body #why am i like this?

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

#I never reblog shit this popular #why am i like this? #thank you #inspiring #I'm gonna go paint now #my ears are safe but idk about my toes

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

Holy mother of modern art....

🌹 Another one that's been in the drafts for way too long 🥀

♡age in bio before following♡

#why am i like this? #so pretty #art #love it

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

Trying to learn that it’s not my responsibility to create or maintain harmony in the lives of those I care about. They are allowed to have difficulties in their lives and struggles in their relationships with others and it’s not something that I need to ‘fix.’ I am not responsible for their happiness or peace. Their struggles do not make me a failure. All I can control is how I interact with them.

#hit me in the feels #ironic #my birth name is in this post

[ohthisisgonnasuck]

It's called your diaphragm.

Idk what it is about tight waists and not being able to frickin breathe

#fashion is bullshit #anatomy #but it looks so fuckingooood