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piecesofreeses · 13 days

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Closer

Awsten’s boyfriend, Ash, (original male character) age regresses when he just needs to relax. Luckily, Awsten’s the best caregiver ever.

In the world of “I need you closer or I need it over,” this is what happens when Awsten’s lover comes closer.

Notes: Love you guys! If you’re interested in similar content, check out my story I’m Sorry, I Can’t Help It about little!awsten.

TW: Caregiver called “dada,” discussion of Awsten being scared of spiders

AND ON TO THE STORYYYYYY

“Awsie! Awsie!” Ash squeals, running onto the tour bus searching for his boyfriend. “Awsie, look what I found at the gift shop!” Ash keeps yelling, whipping his head around wildly looking for Awsten with an infectious smile growing across his face.

“Hey bug!” Awsten calls from the couch. “Come show me!” Finally locating the red-haired boy, Ash throws himself over the back of the couch, flopping over into Awsten’s lap with a screech.

“Is a puppy!” Ash says, holding up a small dog stuffed animal made of soft, minky fabric with adorable floppy ears.

“They’re almost as cute as you, sweetpea! What’s their name?” Awsten asks, matching the little’s excitement.

“His name’s Bailey,” Ash replies matter-of-factly.

Awsten laughs, “Okay then, Bailey. It’s nice to meet you! How old are you feeling?”

“No no no!” Ash erupts into a fit of giggles. You’re supposed to ask me how old I feel!”

“Oh my mistake. How silly of me,” Awsten says seriously before switching back to the goofy tone of voice he adopts when he can tell Ash is regressed. “Well then Ashy, how old are you feeling?”

“M three!” Ash responds excitedly with a slightly childish lisp that makes the number come out more like ‘free.’ It makes Awsten smile as he notices it. When his real baby voice comes out like that it usually means he’s actually let himself slip all the way. Awsten tries not to make a big deal out of it, but he loves when his boyfriend regresses around him. He not only finds it adorable, but it feels like a show of trust. He’s playing the role of a parent and Ash is letting him. Sometimes, Ash even calls him dada, but not often, as the little has a hard time not feeling guilty or embarrassed about finding comfort in the name.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, Awsten nods thoughtfully. “Oh! You’re a big boy today!” He jokes, scooping Ash up and pulling him onto his lap. He’s so grateful Ash was finally comfortable with Awsten explaining his regression to the others on the tour. It makes everything easier, and they sometimes even have fun together. Awsten doesn't have to worry about Jawn, Otto, Geoff, or Lucas walking in and thinking something is going on, because as soon as they hear the lilt in their bandmates voice, they know Ash is just little. It’s been so fun to bring him along on the tour this time, and Awsten’s pretty sure he’s having a good time too, as evidenced by the great, big smile and bright eyes looking up at him right now. “Do you want cuddles or do you want to play with Bailey, love?”

“Wan play!” Ash yells. Awsten rolls his eyes lovingly at the younger’s terrible volume control.

“Okay, bubba,” Awsten says, picking the boy up and setting him on the floor. They both lay down on their stomachs and Ash starts to play with Bailey. Awsten reaches to the left to pull out Ash’s box of little toys and picks a small green turtle for himself.

“Jenny!” Ash squeals, seeing the turtle Awsten picked.

“Why don't we have a tea party?” Awsten suggests.

Just as Awsten brings up the idea, Lucas walks onto the bus with Geoff in tow. “A tea party?” Lucas says excitedly, “I sure hope I’m invited!” Ash’s eyes light up seeing some of his boyfriends – and therefore his – closest friend.

“You’re invited, Lulu! And you can comes too Effy,” Ash exclaims, looking at Awsten absolutely thrilled to have more company.

Awsten smiles warmly at Geoff and Lucas, more grateful than anything for how they’d not only welcomed his boyfriend into their circle, but welcomed his regression and little side with open arms. They’d been absolutely perfect, and it just made Awsten even more sure that he had found his people. Listening to Ash call them ‘Lulu’ and ‘Effy’ made his heart feel like it was going to explode.

“Should I get us some refreshments, Ashy?” Geoff asks, leaning down to the little on the floor. He gets a nod and a grin in response.

“Lulu you gotta pick a stuffy,” Ash states and Awsten shrugs at his manager.

“You heard him!”

Digging through the basket, Lucas picks out a pink bunny named Strawberry. She’s usually his go to when he plays with little Ash. “Can I bring Strawberry again?”

“Mhm!” Ash responds, sitting up and crawling into Awsten’s lap. Awsten and Lucas make eye contact, knowing Ash is getting smaller and this may not last all that long with how sleepy they look. Awsten helps Ash get situated in his lab and wraps his arms around Ash, who has both Bailey and Jenny in his lap.

“The tea is prepared!” Geoff calls out and walks over to them. They all laugh at Geoff’s silly accent as he passes out the ‘tea.’ The ‘tea’ is actually apple juice, because Lord knows neither Ash or Awsten would actually drink tea unless all the sugar in the bus was poured into it.

“Well this is delicious!” Awsten responds, matching Geoff’s silly voice. “Thank you for putting his in a sippy,” he adds quietly.

“Dada you’re so silly!” Ashy yells without even considering that he usually refuses to call Awsten anything other than Awsie in front of company. Lucas and Geoff smile. Awsten has talked to them both about how guilty Ash feels about calling him that. They’re both happy to see Ash more relaxed around them. He clearly makes Awsten happy and they both deserve that. Being a caregiver seems to give Awsten a purpose he didn't have before. He takes care of himself better, because now he has Ash to take care of too, on occasion.

“Your dada is so silly!” Geoff laughs out. “Yesterday, he saw a spider and he got so scared he squealed just like you!”

“Dada are you scared of spiders?” Ash asks, shocked. “How are you scared of da spiders? I loves spidies!”

“I don’t know, bubs! I just don't like them very much, but I am so glad you like them!”

Lucas giggles at how far Awsten had downplayed his fear of spiders to his boyfriend. “Ashy, your dada is so scared of spiders. Sometime, you can come with me and we can go see some spidies because Awsie is a little too nervous around them,” Lucas says.

“Yes! Let's go see some spidies, Lulu!”

Lucas laughs. “Another time, but soon, Ashy!��

Awsten shudders just thinking about the creatures and tries to change the subject. “Sweetie, do you need some help with your tea?”

“Yes peas dada,” Ash says with a hint of embarrassment.

“No problem, sweetpea! It’s a good thing Geoffy put it in your sippy,” Awsten reminds as he helps Ash lean the cup up to take a sip. “Good job, bubs,” he adds, lowering the cup and setting it down on the carpet.

“No wait! Bailey needs some too!” Ash screeches.

Awsten flinches away from the loud noise briefly, but recovers momentarily. “Silly me! Here, hold Bailey and I will give him a sip,” Awsten suggests. As Ash holds Bailey up, Awsten pretends to let the stuffie drink out of Ash’s sippy cup.

Lucas watches and then says, “I’m going to give Strawberry some too! She must be so thirsty!” Gently, Lucas props up the bunny against his knee and pretends to give her a drink from his glass.

Geoff, realizing he is the only on without a stuffed animal, reaches over to the bin and picks up a blue sea horse. “Ashy, can I play with this one?”

“Uh huh! Dats Reggie,” Ashy states. “Make sure he gets tea too. Kay?”

“I will,” Geoff promises and pretends to give Reggie the seahorse a bit of his apple juice. “Does dada’s turtle need some too?”

“Jenny! Dada you forgot Jenny!”

Awsten, not entirely sure how to recover from this grave error, looks to Geoff.

“Oh, dada didn’t forget, he was just busy holding you, Ashy,” Geoff suggests hopefully. Awsten’s face has a hilarious ‘you’re my savior’ look across it and Geoff struggles not to laugh at his friend.

“Mmm, kay,” Ash accepts. Then, he picks up the little turtle, Jenny, and hands her to Geoff. “Give her a drink?”

“Absolutely,” Geoff says, miming letting the turtle pick the glass up and drink from it. Geoff watches as Ash’s eyes start to close and he gives Awsten a look.

“Ashy, honey, are you sleepy?” Awsten says after noticing the obvious exhaustion painted on the little’s face.

“Nuh uh,” Ash responds quietly, beginning to suck on his thumb.

“Honey no. That’s dirty. Can you use your paci instead?” Awsten reminds.

Ash just curls closer into Awsten and neglects to reply.

Lucas stifles a laugh, “I’ll get it, Awsten. In their bunk?”

Awsten nods gratefully and pulls his little one in closer. “Lulu is getting your paci, bubba. You know we don’t put fingers in our mouths.”

Lucas walks back with the decorated blue pacifier. It has little sea creatures on it and small gems along the shield. Slowly and so very gently, Awsten pulls Ash’s thumb from their mouth and grabs the paci from Lucas, quickly pressing it into the little’s mouth. He makes the switch with practiced ease and Ash hardly stirs. “Thanks, guys. He loves you so much.”

“Of course,” “Anytime,” Geoff and Lucas respond at the same time.

“You guys can totally stay, but I am going to get into bed with him for a little while. He’s out cold, but if I let him out of my arms, he’ll definitely wake up and he really could use the sleep,” Awsten says. “If you stay, could you try to keep the volume down when you can?

“Oh yeah, of course.”

“Absolutely, man! We’ll be quiet.”

“Thanks, you two. You’re literally the best friends I could ask for.”

“We know,” Geoff jokes. “Jawn and Otto will be mad they missed the tea party.”

Lucas laughs quietly, “I think you mean Awny and Oddo.”

“Oh shut it Lulu,” Jawn quips, him and Otto walking in at the best – or worst – time.

“Hey guys–” Awsten starts, trying not to laugh and wake the little in his lap.

“Don’t worry, Awsten. I know. Ash is little, be quiet, they need the sleep, you're going to get in the bunk with them. Am I right?” Jawn lists with certainty.

“...Yes,” Awsten admits.

“We all know the drill now, man,” Geoff comments, snickering as he watches Awsten try to stand up while carrying Ash. “You did it! Congrats!” Geoff says sarcastically as Awsten finally gets to his feet.

“Dude!” Awsten shushes, putting Ash into his bunk and crawling in along with him before pulling the curtain closed. A second later, he sticks an arm out reaching down to the floor to grab Bailey who’d fallen out. “Naptime, guys.”

Otto responds in a whisper, “Yeah, yeah. It’s a good thing you two are cute.”

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piecesofreeses · 13 days

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I'm Sorry, I Can't Help It

This is PART 4 of I’m Sorry, I Can’t Help It.

I highly recommend going back to read part 3!

This is an age regression fanfic! Hate will not be tolerated, so take your bullshit somewhere else.

Awsten is struggling with his mental health and turns to age regression with a coping mechanism.

After failing to keep it a secret, what will happen between him and his band mates?

DISCLAIMER:

Age regression is a completely nonsexual coping skill. It is represented appropriately and correctly as it relates to my life. Regression can be positive in many circumstances, but not all. If you are struggling with your mental health or involuntary age regression, talking to a professional is always the best choice.

Chapter Four: The Sun on His Face

In which Awsten explains the origin of his regression.

Thanks for the support guys, all the comments and kudos really do mean the world! PLEASE read the trigger warnings in this chapter, because we really get into some childhood trauma. If you feel the need to skip this chapter, that’s okay! You’ll lose some character backstory but you’ll still be mostly in the loop for following chapters.

I was listening to Bags by Clairo when I wrote this and I think you should too, but I can’t say they are totally connected by actual content, just vibes.

TW: Discussion of childhood (14) sexual assault, discussion of past rape by deception, swearing, past cheating, discussion of PTSD, discussion of being called “stupid” while regressed, mild sex jokes

“So,” Geoff says, “You’re allowed to call me Dada, does that mean I can call you cute names too?” Awsten blushes at the mention of calling his friend Dada when he’s regressed, but recovers quickly.

“Yeah I guess. What are you considering?”

“I have a lot of ideas. Should I just list them?” Geoff laughs.

Awsten responds and Geoff can hear the eye roll in his voice, “I mean yeah, sure, go for it.”

“Baby, bubba, bubs, sweetheart, little one, honey–”

“You already called me that,” Awsten cuts off the list.

“It was an accident! I was panicking!” Geoff says, exacerbated.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s enough you can stop. Those are all fine and I’m sure any other shit you come up with will be too.”

“Can I ask how this started happening?”

“My regression?” Awsten tries to clarify.

“Yeah,” Geoff confirms.

“Yeah that’s fine. I mean I’ve gotta share so you can care? God, that was bad. Sorry,” Awsten says with a laugh. “I think I was maybe ten when it happened for the first time? That's kind of silly I know – a ten year old regressing even younger – anyway, I would just get stressed out, like the whole world was just way too big and I was way too small. And that's what would happen. Then I would all of a sudden be way too small. I didn't know what it was but my words wouldn't come out and I would feel like I was shrinking in on myself. When I was younger, it was all involuntary.”

“Not always now?” Geoff cuts in. “Oh shit sorry. I interrupted.”

“No it’s okay. Yeah I can do it on purpose sometimes. If I feel like I need it. I couldn't always do that because I didn't know what was happening before. I used to be so ashamed because I had no idea what was going on with my head. I would just get all fuzzy and feel stupid,” Awsten tries to explain. His eyes go soft and Geoff can see him remembering something.

“My mom is wonderful, but I’m thinking back to being thirteen years old at an amusement park. It was so late and I was so hungry and so tired and I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't get my words to come out right, so I guess I was kind of ‘baby-talking.’ She kept asking me questions that I knew I should know the answers to, but I was stuck so deep inside my head. She told me to “stop pretending to be dumb,” and it’s always stuck with me. It hurt so much because I knew the age appropriate part of me was in there somewhere, but he wasn't in control and there was no one who could tell me why. Even if there was, I don't think I would've asked. I was far, far too scared they would laugh or that I was permanently fucked up in some way. I guess I am, but I wasn’t ready to hear it when I was thirteen.”

Geoff almost wants to cry listening to the story. “Awsten. You’re not fucked up.”

“It's okay, Geoff,” Awsten scoffs. “I find it comforting to call myself fucked somehow, I think. It'd be hard to explain but I’m sure if I said that in an interview there would be people out there who knew what I meant.” Geoff just listens, sitting quiet and hoping the younger will continue.

“When I was 14, I came across agere content on the internet for the first time. I knew it resonated, but I didn't want to encroach on a community I wasn't sure I was apart of, so I convinced myself I related the same way I would comment “same” on a TikTok of a piece of bread falling over, but soon after that, I met my first boyfriend and he regressed too. He was already well aware of what it was, so when it happened around him the first time, he took care of me and then after basically smacked some sense into me, telling me what was going on. The first time it happened was actually in our math class. I remember crying on the floor in his lap while they were going over systems of equations. That boy was an absolute piece of shit, but he never did fuck with my regression. I don't think I’ll ever be able to forgive him for what he did, but I’ll always be grateful he didn't hurt me while I was small.”

“Awsten…” Geoff fights against the cracks in his voice. “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It wasn’t you,” Awsten replies matter-of-factly.

“Awsten? Can I ask what he did to you?”

It seems as though there may even be a glint of a tear in his eye as Awsten responds. “He was older. He didn’t… he didn’t do anything I didn't want– at least at first, but he lied to me about a lot of it,” He says quietly. “He didn’t listen when I told him he was hurting me during… things. I’m still not sure what to call what he did to me. I just didn’t want to lose my virginity to a hookup, so I made him promise he was going to stick around, but he was cheating on me the whole time.”

Geoff waits because it seems like Awsten has more to say. He does, but he continues just barely above a whisper. “One friend called it ‘rape by deception.’ I just– I feel like that’s too strong of a word for what happened, but anything else just discounts what he did. I have fucking PTSD from it, it must have been something.”

“Honey,” Geoff says. He stops after just the one word though, unsure how to continue.

“It’s okay, Geoff. It’s been twenty years. I can get over myself. God, I’m sorry about this fucking tangent. you just asked how i started regressing.”

“I knew that might be a charged question, Aws. It's fine. Go ahead,” Geoff tries to reassure.

Awsten wipes any hint that he may have cried away and shakes his head as if trying to clear the thoughts. “After that, I regressed a lot. I couldn't help it. It happened for hours each day as I just tried anything to be okay again. Sometimes, it would happen in class and later I would find little drawings in my notebooks or chemistry notes that appeared to have been taken by a five year old. Since then, it just fluctuates. When times are tough, it happens more and it’s more likely to happen involuntarily. When things are okay, I don't need it as much. If I just want it, sometimes I’ll regress intentionally. That can be nice sometimes,” Awsten seems to finish.

“Oh wait,” he starts. “I wanted you to know you're the only person who's ever known about this other than that boyfriend.”

Oh my God. He must’ve been terrified when I found out originally. I can't believe he's letting me be his carer after what happened. Fuck, I’m never leaving this motherfuckers side.

“Oh Aws. Thank you for trusting me.”

“You got it, man,” Awsten jokes. “Seriously though, thank you. The way you held me? I think you healed half my childhood trauma just like THAT,” he snaps his fingers and chuckles.

Lost in thoughts, Geoff asks another question. “Have you ever written a song about it?”

“Man, you're full of questions today,” Awsten teases. “I think I've referenced it, but never in a way you couldn't deny. In Peach when I say ‘hating myself for needing someone so bad and feeling dumb dumb dumb dumb?” Yeah, that's sort of about being clingy and desperate when I feel small. I think I talk about it a little in Hawaii? Yeah, yeah it's some line about feeling in slow motion or something. I think if the fans knew, they would think some stuff like Fruit Roll Ups or some shit is about it, but it’s not. I definitely write about it in ways people wouldn't notice or expect.”

“You know I’m going to start watching out for it now, right?” Geoff says.

“Yeah I know because you're a little bitch,” Awsten snaps back.

Pretending to smack Awsten in the back, Geoff laughs out a “Says you!”

Sarcastically, Awsten drags out the bit. “Okay, okay. How do you cope with your shit then, Geoff? If you don’t mentally return to the state of a child, how on earth are you dealing with your feelings?”

“Actually? You,” Geoff replies, slamming the door on any humor lacing their conversation.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

Processing what his best friend just said, Awsten watches how the sunlight strikes his face through the translucent curtains in their hotel room. He looks soft. He looks like there should be hands cupped around his jaw and a thumb stroking his cheek. His hair looks like someone should be running their fingers through it.

I wonder what runs through his head as he thinks about me, Geoff thinks as Awsten stares. Geoff watches how the sun hits the back of Awsten’s head and makes the rays filter through his colored hair. It makes the unruly bits appear to glow like embers and the fluff in the front casts pale orange onto the white hotel sheets.

It feels like hours they just sit and look at one another, but in reality, it's only seconds before Awsten responds. “I’m glad I help. I want to be there for you, you know.”

“I know,” Geoff says softly as he reaches a hand up to smooth the tufts of Awsten’s hair down, unable to resist. “After the shows on those few nights when you just talk and talk? I love those. I just get to sit back and listen. I love listening to you, Awsten. It gives my brain a break, I guess.” He tries to say it jokingly, but the truth shines through. Geoff knows Awsten can tell he wasn’t fucking around. “I really loved caring for you too. It was nice to feel needed.”

“It’s really not annoying? I understand that you care about me and you might do it anyway, but you genuinely enjoyed it?” Awsten questions almost incredulously.

Geoff smiles. “Yes, Aws. I really liked it. You’ve got such big stuff going on all the time. It was so nice to see you relaxed and calm. Seeing you melt into my lap when I was holding you? You looked so at peace and I don't know if I’ve seen you like that since we were teenagers. And I could fix all your problems. You have no idea how much I hate when I know you’re dealing with something and I can’t do shit about it. When your biggest problem was wanting something in your mouth and I just needed to help you put your thumb in your mouth and you’d feel better? It was so great.”

Awsten’s eyes widen briefly before he gets it under control. “Jesus, that's embarrassing for me.”

“Yeah, yeah. You're cute small!” Geoff says and Awsten makes a whole show of his aversion to being called cute.

“You’re worse than the fans calling me babygirl!”

“No, that's hilarious.”

“Oh you motherfucker,” Awsten shoots back. Then he pauses. “Do we need to get on the bus?”

Geoff checks his phone to find messages from Jawn, Lucas and Otto. “It appears so.”

Awsten laughs and flops back down on the bed. “Fuck, man!”

“Awsten! Why are you laying back down? We need to go!

“Carry me?” Awsten jokes, batting his eyelashes.

“And you wonder why they call you babygirl,” Geoff responds, rolling his eyes. At that, Awsten drags himself out of bed and throws on a back tank and some gray jeans. “You’ll kill the fans if you let them see your arms, Awsten. Don’t you have any sympathy for them? They might not survive.”

“I know man! It’s hilarious because Jullian can perform shirtless and none of them bat an eye and as soon as they see my arms we’ve got people unconscious in the pit,” Awsten adds.

“Okay,” Geoff continues. “They definitely bat an eye when Julian takes his shirt off because I bat an eye when Julian takes his shirt off.”

“Geoff! Dude! Since when do you say that shit!?” Awsten yells, losing control of his volume while throwing his things into a bag to bring down to the tour bus. “I’m telling him you said that. No. Better yet, I’m going to tweet that you said that.”

“Go for it. You’ve ruined your credibility after tweeting that I was drawing selfcest of you and soulsucker,” Geoff quips.

Awsten dramatically glares at the floor. “Damnit. If it isn't the consequences of my own actions.”

“Hey assholes, hurry it up, we're all waiting on you,” comes Jawn’s voice through the door. Sharing a glance, the two hurry out, Geoff apologizing profusely and Awsten explaining graphically the kind of sex they were [not] having with the utmost dramatic sarcasm.

Geoff listens to the jokes and walks just a few steps behind, just content to watch how awstens mouth curls when he laughs at his own jokes.

I’m screwed.

Two updates in 24 hours? I'm spoiling you guys!

Love you all!

Reese

#awsten knight #awsten waterparks #waterparks #geoff wigington #waterparx #awsten #otto wood #parx #age dreaming #age regression #agere little #sfw littlespace #fan fiction #awsten constantine knight #fluff #no smut #hurt comfort

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piecesofreeses · 14 days

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Hii i love ur age regression fics smm they r so cute❤❤

omg thank you!! i love YOU!

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piecesofreeses · 14 days

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I'm Sorry, I Can't Help It.

This is PART 3 of I’m Sorry, I Can’t Help It.

I highly recommend going back to read part 2!

This is an age regression fanfic! Hate will not be tolerated, so take your bullshit somewhere else.

Awsten is struggling with his mental health and turns to age regression with a coping mechanism.

After failing to keep it a secret, what will happen between him and his band mates?

DISCLAIMER:

Chapter Three: Would It Be You?

In which little Awsten has a meltdown and big Awsten has a conversation.

Sorry for this update coming later than I meant it too; things have been busy. If you have hopes, dreams, and requests for future chapters, feel free to suggest them in the comments! Also, if you noticed me struggling with keeping the word tenses all the same, no you didn't.

TW: Swearing, pulling out of little space, caregiver called "dada", discussion of a little neglecting their regression, mild dissociation, little having a panic attack (they are fine and well taken care of.)

Don't worry, even though there's a lot of hurt in this chapter, I went heavy on the comfort too.

“Wakes?” A small voice asked rather loudly into Geoff’s ear.

“Awsten? What do you want?” Geoff questioned, groaning as the younger wiggled around on the bed. He didn't try to hide his mild annoyance at being woken up and he spoke like he was talking to his 32 year old band mate. Then, he heard a little whine and a pitiful “Sorry.”

Fuck.

“Oh no Awsie it’s okay! I just thought I was talking to a big Awsten and you're just a little one, aren’t you!” Geoff recovered quickly, rolling over to look at the boy and smiling as brightly as he could after just waking up.

“Is kay I’s little?” Awsten asked, sounding almost shocked.

“I promise it's okay Awsie. Do you want to get up or not yet?” Geoff asked through a sleepy grin.

“Cuddles, Effy? Pease?” Awsten’s voice came out small after the reassurance. Geoff placed a hand on the little’s shoulder, rolling Awsten away from him before wrapping an arm around his stomach and pulling him close.

He shifted and gave the smaller another tug closer, saying, “‘Course Aws.” The two were essentially spooning, something Geoff had never considered doing with his friend. Even though Awsten was touchy, cuddling while they were both laying down in bed should feel like a big step, but it didn’t. Geoff just felt so grateful to be able to wrap his arms around the little and watch his friend melt with the comfort.

He writes so many songs about feeling so messed up. I just love seeing him like this; he looks so free of his thoughts.

Awsten whined and squirmed a little bit and Geoff thought maybe he’d squished the little, so he loosened his arms. To his surprise, Awsten craned his neck back and looked at the older dejectedly. Guess I read that wrong. Slowly he moved his arms back into place and Awsten seemed to relax before grabbing an arm and pulling himself back over so he could face Geoff. For a moment, he looked up at the brunette with a lopsided smile. I’ll never get used to this, will I.

Just a second later, Awsten adjusted a little more, curling his face and shoulder into Geoff’s chest. He looked (somehow) even smaller. Geoff started to rub his upper back slowly, just enjoying his ability to make everything okay for Awsten. For once, he had all the solutions. While just basking in the moment, Geoff is jolted by the sound of a knock on the door.

“Geoff! I need your guitar for promotional photos!”

Jawn.

Geoff feels Awsten push him away and he sits up. There’s fear in the little’s eyes but he looks stuck in his own head. His throat moves as if he's trying to say something but the words don't come out. Shocker. He was basically a year old and nonverbal 30 seconds ago.

“Jawn– It's not a good time,” Geoff stutters out. What the hell do I do right now? That’s not going to work. Oh god.

Geoff can hear the eye-roll in Jawn’s voice as his reply comes through the door. “I have a key card, man. You don't even need to get out of bed. And I know you don't have a girl in there. Chill out.” Awsten’s eyes dart to the door as the whir of the key card reader sounds out; he still looks pitifully regressed.

As Jawn opens the door, Geoff tries to tug the covers up over Awsten, but when he looks over to do so he no longer sees the nervous looking little kid, Awsten is obviously big again. He reaches over to place a questioning hand on the boy but Awsten looks totally dissociated.

Jawn walks in and laughs, “Oh hi Awsten. I don't even want to know, guys.”

“Jawn, what? I just had a new idea for a song and there's no couch, so we are in bed,” Awsten replies with a voice multiple octaves lower than the giggles Geoff had woken up with.

Did he just force himself out of it? How is he so big and so… not?

“Alright then,” Jawn says, grabbing the guitar and shutting the door behind him. As soon as Geoff sees the lock click, he hears a choked out sob and snaps his neck to look at Awsten. Awsten who’s suddenly sobbing, thumb in his mouth, shoulders crunched in and shaking violently.

“Okay- okay Awsten you’re okay. Awsten, you’re okay buddy,” Geoff says, panicked. He’s not sure if trying to hold him will help or not, so he reaches out slowly and touches the little’s arm. He’s met with a scream and another flood of tears so he pulls his arm away quickly, completely lost on what to do. “Aws, breathe. It’s okay honey,” He tries. The smaller boy is still hyperventilating, face turning an angry shade of red as he rocks back and forth.

“Dada please help,” Awsten chokes out through tears.

Dada?

Awsten seems to realize what he’s said and his eyes widen. “No! No! Sorry! I’s–”

“Its okay Aws,” Geoff cuts him off but the younger continues to look terrified.

Geoff gets out of their bed and runs to Awsten’s side, noticing the frog on the floor. He picks it up and gently places it in the little’s lap. He’s rewarded with a slight recess in the sobs as Awsten picks the toy up and holds it against his chest. “There we go, honey. Keep breathing for me,” Geoff says, and slowly, Awsten’s breathing starts to return to normal. He convulses and his nose seems to clear as snot runs down his face. Seemingly as soon as he can breathe through his nose again, he draws his thumb into his mouth.

He’s so pitiful looking. He would never let me see him like this before.

“Do you want a hug?” Geoff asks, pausing for a moment before revising. “Do you want Dada to give you a hug?”

Awsten’s eyes bug out at the question, “Dada?”

“Yeah Awsie, you can call me Dada if you want. It’s okay,” Geoff says.

I mean– I guess he can call me Dada?

“Hug peas… Dada?” Awsten says quietly. Geoff slowly leans down and wraps himself around Awsten tightly, the red tufts in the front of his hair laying on Geoff’s shoulder. “M gettn bigger,” Awsten states, his big and little voices fighting for control.

“You can stay small if you want, Aws,” Geoff offers, but the younger responds quickly,

“No, m ready to be big.”

Finally pulling away from their hug, Geoff pushes Awsten’s hair out of his face and wipes a lingering tear off his cheek, “Okay, that’s okay too.” He walks back around to his side of the bed and crawls in, sitting up next to Awsten. “Big?” He questions.

“Yeah, mostly,” Comes Awsten’s reply, sounding almost entirely like an adult’s voice.

“Are you okay? I have some questions,” Geoff starts.

Awsten sighs, “Yeah, I’m sure. I think I know what they are though so can I just explain first?”

Geoff nods and Awsten begins, “I’m sorry I came in here last night the way I did. I know coming to your door regressed kind of forced you to let me in and that wasn't fair.”

“Wait–” Geoff tries to interrupt, but Awsten stops him.

“No. Let me say everything I need to say.”Awsten states, leaving little room for argument. “I’m sorry I did that without us being able to discuss it first. Thank you for caring for me. I remember almost everything that happens while I am small and you were so good to little me. It's just like being in the backseat of a car, and my little self gets to drive. Thanks for making sure he didn’t crash, Geoff.”

I did a good job. He remembers it all and he thinks I did a good job.

“I’m sorry I woke up little. When it happened, I was a little shocked too. That doesn’t happen to me often. If I had to guess, I would say it happened because I’ve been neglecting my little self a bit lately, and I guess he knew it was a good time for big me to be taking a break. Please don’t feel bad you didn't realize I was little immediately this morning. Honestly, I didn’t either.”

Neglecting his little self? Fuck. God, I am never letting him do that around me.

“What happened when Jawn came in?” Geoff questioned.

“Jesus Christ motherfucker– I'M GETTING TO IT.”

“OKAY SORRY, GOOD LORD.”

Awsten rolls his eyes and gets back to his long-winded apology and explanation, “When I realized Jawn was coming in,” He says, shooting Geoff a glare, “I panicked because I was fighting really hard to pull out– uhh, like to get my big self back into the driver’s seat. That can be a really uncomfortable process, which is why I looked so fucked up. I wasn’t quite able to pull out before Jawn came in, so I was essentially faking it ‘til I made it. My brain still felt small but I just sort of shut down and dissociated while forcing myself to pretend to be big. Doing that is hard and exhausting, so as soon as Jawn left, I just started to melt down. When I’m big, I try not to have big shows of emotion, so when I’m little, it happens more often– like little me is trying to make up for wasted time, that asshole,” Awsten jokes.He seems as if he has finished and looks to Geoff for his response before realizing he’s skipped something.

“Oh. Yeah.” He says, a red blush creeping across his cheeks. “I’m so sorry I called you Dada. I– I guess little me has always wanted someone to call that and he kinda took over while I was freaking out. I know you said it was fine because I was a mess, but don't worry, it won’t happen again.”

It won't happen again?

“Awsten, please,” Geoff almost begs, and Awsten looks back at him confused. “Awsten I didn't mind it. I– I think I actually liked it,” Geoff says quietly. “Seeing you all free from these fucking adult emotions was so amazing. I wish you could feel like that more. I liked getting to protect you like that.”

“Are you screwing with me?” Awsten replies, sounding almost angry.

“No! No, I promise I’d never do that, Awsie.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Do you– Fuck how do I say this,” Geoff thinks. “Do you want a caregiver?”

After a brief moment, Awsten speaks. “Would it be you?”

“If you want me,” Geoff breathes out.

Awsten smiles, eyes almost welling with tears. “Yes please.”

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piecesofreeses · 14 days

Text

We've Got You

Nick ignores his mental health in favor of staying on top of work. When his involuntary age regression catches up with him, Matt and Chris are there.

Told in 3rd person limited (like most of my stories) where the reader has access to Nick’s thoughts, but not Matt or Chris’s.

DISCLAIMER:

This is an age regression fanfic! Age regression is a completely nonsexual coping skill and it is represented appropriately and correctly as it relates to my life. Regression can be positive in many circumstances, but not all. If you are struggling with your mental health or involuntary age regression, talking to a professional is always the best choice.

Hate will not be tolerated, nor will it be entertained. I will not give you my attention; your comment will just be deleted! Please don’t waste your time, just take your bullshit somewhere else!

One more note:

This is NOT incestual, nor is it sexual in any manner. The comfort Nick receives during and after his panic attack is purely loving, familial support. Yes! They cuddle! Yes! They hold Nick and rub his back! Yes! They share a bed for the night! No! None of that makes this “weird!”

TWs: Panic attack, descriptions of the physical sensation of a panic attack, avoiding regression, swearing, lighthearted arguing, guilt for enjoying a pacifier

Okay on to the story!

Nick always tries to be the quick witted, loud, strong oldest brother. With the triplets spending so much time in LA just the three of them, more now than ever they have to keep each other in line. And yes, that means Nick has to take care of his brothers even when he doesn’t want to.

Matt may be their transportation as the only brother with a license, but Nick still feels like he’s mothering them half of the time. He’s constantly sticking a hand between his brother's faces both literally and metaphorically. While Nick probably couldn’t love Matt and Chris any more than he does, they’re brothers; it’s impossible for them not to get on his nerves sometimes.

Currently, the triplets are sitting in a parking lot about ten minutes from their house filming a car video. Nick is tired and has been a bit quieter than usual, leaving his quips and comebacks to a minimum, just listening to Matt and Chris rant.

Suddenly, of-fucking-course, the two are arguing again. It’s something stupid about the song that’s playing in the background— no wait— it’s about Matt’s phone? Nick isn’t really sure, he’s just exhausted. It’s not the other boys fault; they can disagree and get at each other throats all they want in the car videos. Nick knows the fans love it, but in that moment he’s just so goddamn overwhelmed.

Nick tries to open his mouth to tell his brothers to shut the fuck up, but no sound comes out. He feels a bit like he’s sinking into the backseat, totally isolated from the argument in the front. Nick knows he’s fine, so why does he want to cry? Why can’t he get his words to come out?

A tear escapes and slips down his cheek. He tries to wipe it away but his arm feels so heavy and his fingers feel so clunky and they’re not moving the way he needs them to. Why is everything so hard?

Without even meaning to, Nick lets a little whine slip past his lips. Even though he hates asking for help, he’s sure he needs Matt and Chris. If nothing else, they need to turn off the camera, but apparently the fighting in the front seat is too loud, because the boys give no indication of hearing him.

Oh no, Nick realizes as his mind gets even fuzzier, I’m slipping.

Nick knows he regresses if stress gets to him too much– his brothers know too, but God, it hasn’t happened in months.

He’s usually pretty good about preventing it by being gentle with himself, but it’s just been so fucking stressful this month. The end of the podcast just ended up being a lot of work and he didn’t have time to cater to his mental health the way he has to to make sure he never slips.

This is the result, I guess, Nick thinks. Because he refused to show himself some goddamn love when he was big, his brain was forcing him to regress. And he didn’t get to pick when.

“Matt?” The oldest choked out.

Still no response. Nick felt like he was sinking into his brain as everything started to feel eerily quiet, like his brother’s voices were coming from underwater.

Maybe I’m the one underwater, he thinks as the whole world begins to appear muted in color. My sensory processing just conked out, didn’t it.

“Chris? Help,” Nick tried again, but it came out even quieter than the previous attempt. Despite his every effort, Nick felt his eyes well up.

Why won’t they stop arguing? I need help! I need help and I don’t know how to get it! Someone please help me. Matt? Chris? Please help me.

It’s all far too much, so he closes his eyes and fights against his heavy limbs, eventually able to pick up his hands to cover his ears. He feels himself shaking gently and the first of his tears begin to flow down his cheeks. Apparently, Nick hasn’t breathed in a while, because suddenly he feels himself gasp involuntary. Fighting the sudden rush of air, his throat catches on nothing and he coughs out, forcing more tears to spill.

Nick’s forearms are covering his cheeks from the way he's trying to protect his ears, and he feels them wet from how hard he's begun to cry. He convulses in a sob and finally, a loud enough sound comes out.

“Nick?!” He hears Matt yell. “Something’s wrong, Chris! Turn that shit off!”

They’re coming. They’re gonna help. Please hurry, though.

“Okay, okay I am. Go get in the back with him!” Chris’s response comes, quieter.

He doesn't even hear the door open, but suddenly Matt’s arms are around him. He’s wracked by sobs as his body relaxes into Matt’s chest.

It’s all okay. I’m okay. They’ll make it okay.

Matt’s arms are rubbing Nick’s back as he shakes and he can feel how his tears have wet the shoulder of his t-shirt. A moment later, he feels the seat underneath them move like another body has sat down, and then he hears Chris’s voice.

“It’s okay, Nick. We’ve got you,” Chris says gently. As Matt keeps touching him comfortingly, Chris keeps talking.

“The camera is off and we can delete all the footage later. I’m so sorry we didn’t notice what was happening earlier. Matt and I are gonna help, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

“Chris,” Matt whispers, “Take him? I want to get us home.”

“‘Course,” Chris says. Nick whines and holds onto Matt, clearly comfortable where he is, but the boys are still able to switch who he’s sitting onto fairly easily. He's stopped crying and looks up at Chris as he pulls him into his lap. Chris is sitting properly in the left seat with Nick on his lap, back leaned against the door and head on Chris’s shoulder. It's probably illegal, but with the boy no longer crying, they won’t be taking any risks.

As Matt gets out of the back and back into the driver’s seat, Chris haphazardly wraps the seatbelt over the two of them. Nick pulls his knees up and burrows his head into his brother's shoulder. Quietly, he pulls a thumb into his mouth before looking up at Chris as if waiting to be told off. He waits, half expecting to be called gross, even though he knows his brothers don't find his regression gross.

“Oh, you’re small, Nicky. How old are you?” Chris asks with nothing but love in his voice. Nick doesn't respond, just closing his eyes and sinking into the comfort.

“He’s small?” Matt asks from the front. “How old did he say?”

“Didn’t respond. I’d guess one by the thumb and how he was crying earlier,” Chris responds, petting Nick's hair and trying to make sure he doesn't slip out of his lap on the drive home.

Matt sighs, “Okay, we’re only a minute away from home. What do you think we do when we get there? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him regress.”

“Well first get his pacifier, I don’t want his fingers in his mouth and longer than they have to be, but I’m pretty sure he’ll cry if I try to take them out without a replacement. Next… uhh… I don’t think he’s going to be chill with me letting go of him unless I'm literally putting him into your arms, but he seems exhausted. I’d say we all get in your bed and try to get him to go to bed? It’s late for all of us, especially for the baby,” Chris says, looking down at Nick and laughing quietly as they pull into the driveway.

“Alright, I’m going to come and help you stand up with him so you can carry him in. He’s not going to walk himself, is he?” Matt replies, looking back at the little boy curled into Chris with his thumb in his mouth.

“No way.” Chris says, reaching to unbuckle them. Matt steps out of the car and opens the door for Nick and Chris.

Sounding confused, Matt asks, “How are we going to make this work?”

“You just take him? I don't think I can stand up with him in my lap even with your help,” Chris suggests. Matt slots his arms under Nick’s knees and picks him up bridal style. Luckily, there is minimal protest from the little, just a whine and some still watery eyes. With Nick out of his lap, Chris climbs out of the car, shuts the door, locks it and runs up ahead of his brothers to unlock and open their door.

Now that they are standing, Matt carries Nick with ease. Up the steps of their porch and into the house, the lack of strain on Matt’s face makes it appear as if Nick really is a baby. Chris smiles with the thought as he follows the two inside and closes the door behind them.

“I’ll find his paci. Get in bed?” Chris calls out as he tosses the car keys on the kitchen table.

“Got it,” comes Matt’s reply. Chris has no idea where the little’s paci might be, but it’s pretty important that he finds it, so he starts by tearing out the couch cushions to see if it's tucked underneath one of them. With no luck, he heads up to Nick’s room and strips his bed, checking if it might be in there. Unfortunately, the stupid blue thing is still nowhere to be found.

Nick can hear Chris tearing his room apart looking for his pacifier as Matt carries him upstairs.

He’s never gonna find it.

Too small to tell Matt where it is, he just tugs on his sleeve and looks down the hall to his room.

Fortunately, Matt gets the message. “Want to go help Chrissy?” Matt says and turns toward the sound of the rummaging. As they walk into the room, Chris looks at the boys defeated.

“I can’t find it,” he sighs.

“Losat,” comes Nick’s small voice.

Oh no, are they going to think that means I lost it? No no, that’s supposed to be “closet.”

“In the closet?” Matt and Chris respond in unison, walking into the closet and digging through the junk on his closet floor.

Oh thank God.

Matt sets Nick down, leaning his back against the closet wall so he can move his shoes. Underneath, he finds a small shoebox covered in stickers. How promising. Opening it up, Matt discovers the pacifier and a couple small toys.

“Bingo, Chris! It's right here,” Matt exclaims.

“Why’d you hide it away like this, sweet pea?” Chris asks the little boy, scooping him up like a koala. Nick doesn't respond other than a whine and rests his chin on Chris’s shoulder, facing the opposite direction.

The boys walk out of the closet, Matt with a pacifier in hand and Chris with a Nick in… arms.

“I need to wash this off,” Matt says and walks into the bathroom.

“Okay, bring it to us when you're done,” Chris says and hikes Nick up so his legs can wrap around his waist. Nick has one arm wrapped around Chris’s shoulder and neck and the other bent so his thumb can slip back into his mouth. “You ready for bed, honey?” Chris whispers into his ear as he leans over the bed, working to gently disconnect Nick from him. Eventually, he separates them, laying Nick down on his back in Matt’s bed. Chris pulls Nick's shoes off, brushes the little’s hair out of his face, kicks off his own Crocs and crawls into bed with Nick. He drags the covers up over them and pulls Nick closer to make space for Matt to lay on the other side of the boy.

“Okay bub, I’ve got your paci,” comes Matt’s voice. Carefully, he pulls Nick’s hand away from his mouth and replaces it with the blue pacifier, slotting it between his lips.

That helps. That helps so much. Why am I like this? Why does that help?!

Matt slips under the covers and wraps his arms around the boy. “Nick, honey, I can see you freaking out. It’s okay that you like that. It's not gross, it’s not bad, and Chrissy and I don't mind. We love you bubba.”

“Luv yous too.”

#age regression #age dreaming #matt sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #fluff #comfort #sturniolo fanfic #age regressor #sfw #sfw littlespace

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