“Progress forwards to live what you could be; regress backwards to think of what you could always be.”
Senior high school, something very memorable to say the least. When I started 11th grade I was basically a freshly opened can of a hot mess waiting to happen. Of course, it had been marinating for a while after everything, especially the pandemic, just waiting to pop. I had expected it to be my worst year. However, I was proven quite wrong. Although it was incredibly hard to adjust, I had met an array of new people who had helped me get out of my metaphorical can slowly so that it won’t spill as much. Of course, i would not be here with the people here during my senior high school yea. They have all helped me in some way shape or form.
In my junior years I was always described as the silent weird kid who was always staring out the window. In a way, that is still true, but I guess I feel like I have a better chance of actually communicating. It was tough, I had not received good grades two years before that and almost flunked out of school due to my grades. I pretty much got my first “75” during the pandemic. It was very scary, and it wasn’t something that I want to go through again, but if I knew that it would get me here, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I made friends during the 11th grade, which, in all honesty, was something I did not expect. I had been quite alone for a bit, so that felt pretty new to me. However, there will always be an exception to the calm parts of the neurological backflips happening in my head at the time. There were people who very much tested my patience and my ability to shut my mouth. These very same people were obnoxious, loud, and think they’re cool for destroying the peace of every fiber of my tangible being.
As time went on I feel myself see moments of improvement which I had to hoped to see in me before. I had attained knowledge that I could have never understood if it were not to the teachers and other students there who had made this journey easier. I know within myself, I could not have made it at the time, but I did. I am now in grade 12.
Currently deployed for work immersion I have been doing tasks and learning about certain jobs. I am assigned in the QA (Quality Assurance) department and everyone is nice there. I now have a brief overview of how office jobs work and function. I think that is a very good progress when comparing it to what I would have been able to do at a time when I thought I was gonna stop progressing.
It was and still is not easy. However, I make with what I have, and I think that’s enough to pat myself in the back despite all the bad thoughts.
Palestine is not over. Palestine is not dead. Gaza, the West Bank, the entire region between the river and the sea, and the various countries across the world where refugees have fled to, house a surviving people and surviving culture. Palestine is not dead, and WILL NOT die.
I'm seeing a lot of very valid despair online, but if you're someone like me, living a privileged life in a Western country NOT under active bombardment, and which is actually COMPLICIT to some degree in that bombardment: we don't get to give up. Not now, not ever.
You can still get involved in protests or direct actions (e.g. blocking supply), you can still donate eSims or fund UNRWA on your government's behalf, you can still hassle the crap out of your local MP. No, it won't roll back the harm that's already been committed, but all of those things are STILL WORTH DOING. PEOPLE ARE STILL ALIVE OVER THERE. PALESTINE IS STILL WORTH SAVING.
If you've bothered to read this far, you're probably already aware of what's going on over there right now. If not, check out Al Jazeera's fantastic coverage. But also remember that Palestine, and Palestinian culture, is more than just death and despair. Examples below:
These bois were made like yesterday as well as like 2 days ago. I asked my friend for a stand name and user (except for Joan, girlie was a concept I came up with) because we got hella bored. I just wanted to do this because I’m gonna be hella more busy next week since it’s my schedule for deployment HAHAHAHAHA. My friend gave me random details to put in which I had to like incorporate into the OCs. Anyway that’s pretty much it for this one. I’m gonna go ahead and disappear again for months.
The other day, I found myself craving for something sweet. Being lazy didn't really help considering most desserts required a lot of work to make. That's when I realized that there was one fool-proof dessert that i knew how to make. A relatively easy but delicious dessert called pastillas. Of course being a dessert, this caters to the people who have a sweet tooth.
Besides this delicacy being able to appease the cravings of your sweet tooth, plus its relatively cheap ingredients, it is quite easy to turn it into a business opportunity.
It is known to have originated in San Miguel, Bulacan. Originally made by farmers who had tended to cows. It was once called "pastillas de leche" which in English is translated to "milk pills" or "milk tablets". Despite its noticeably Spanish name, the dessert is said to still have originated within the Philippines. Within the province of San Miguel, a pastillas festival is held every single year where they wrap these candies in colorful and decorative wrapping paper called "pabalat" which is Tagalog for "wrapper".
Traditionally made with carabao milk, it is safe to say that creating authentic pastillas de leche candies would be hard and fairly more time consuming. However, Filipinos have a recipe that does not require using carabao milk that is hard to find in most stores. The recipe requires only 3 ingredients which are milk powder, condensed milk and white sugar.
The recipe used with make about twenty 2-inch tablets. It calls for the following:
1 cup of powdered milk
⅓ cup of condensed milk
⅕ cup of white sugar
The first step to making this delicacy is to add 1 cup of milk powder into a large bowl to prevent spilling.
Next is to pour your ⅓ cup of condensed milk gradually while mixing it together with your milk powder.
Mix it for a while preferably with a fork, whisk or any utensil that doesn't restrict too much movement until the mixture begins to resemble a shaggy dough.
When it resembles a dough like texture, kneed it with your hands until it becomes smooth. Next, shape your candies, you can do it traditionally like tablets or you can make them into small spheres.
Lastly, prepare your sugar in a deep container as to prevent spilling and roll your freshly made pastillas into your white sugar.