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radwritings-blog · 6 years

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The Way We Change

Rating: Teen and up

Warnings: Bullying and I think that’s all

Summary: Yuu is trying his best, Yanov wants friends, Paul is an asswipe, and Pat is playing all of them

Chapter one

Yuu let out a loud cry as he fell onto the pavement, his elbows and knees scraping against the asphalt tearing his fragile skin and beginning to bleed. One of the kids kicked him in the face, busting his lip and causing his nose to bleed. He let out another cry, the sob wracking through his body in a way that looked eerily similar to a convulsion.

“Why don’t you talk normal, huh? What’s with the lisp? Is it because your daddy beats you up? I don’t blame him, you’re pathetic,” one of the bullies taunted, the others nodding and snickering.

The fifth-grade kids were cruel, especially to the younger kids, and even more specifically the ones who already had plenty to deal with.

“Hey! Leave him alone,” a voice yelled, the voice slightly less squeaky than other second grade kids like Yuu.

The bullies whipped around, then let out a chorus of laughter at the young boy.

“Or what,” one of them called with a chuckle.

The young, dark-haired boy charged at the main bully, punching him in the jaw once he was close enough. The bully fell back from the surprise attack, his lackeys scattering away like the cockroaches they really were. The bully went to stand, but the boy put his foot on his chest, forcing him back down.

“I said to leave him alone,” he growled, digging his heel into the bully’s chest before removing his foot, “so scram.”

The bully got up quickly and ran off. The dark haired boy stood in front of Yuu and held out his hand for Yuu. Yuu grabbed it gently, and the boy pulled him up and smiled softly.

“Your name is Yuu, right? I’m Yanov. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay… thank you, Yanov,” Yuu said quietly, noticing they were still holding hands and blushed.

“Maybe we should clean you up a little, you’re covered in blood…”

Yuu nodded and Yanov used his sleeve to wipe away the blood and tears on Yuu’s face, making the blonde wince slightly.

“That should be good enough… Do you wanna go play with me?”

Yuu nodded, and Yanov smiled, pulling him in the direction of the playground. Yuu felt happy, glad to find a friend.

“Fucking nerd! Get the hell out of my way!”

There was the sound of metal rattling and grating as Yuu’s body was slammed into it by one of his bullies, one since he’d had since the beginning, Paul. Next to Paul was Patryck, his friend, and tutor. He looked uncomfortable, and Yuu understood why. Pat used to be on the receiving end of these brutes, but after he started letting Paul cheat off of him they became friends, which means no one can touch him.

“Are deaf all of a sudden? I’m talking to you, retard,” Paul shouted.

“S-sorry,” Yuu stuttered out, his lisp more apparent.

Paul laughed. Pat looked away. Yanov came running over.

But he was not Yuu’s savior this time. Instead, he looked at him with mild disgust. He quickly looked back at Paul, smiling.

“What’s up, Paulie?~”

Paul looked at him annoyed.

“Just teaching this freak a lesson,” he said, nodding his head in Yuu’s direction, his hand grabbing a fistful of his blonde hair, slamming his face into the locker.

Paul's body pressed against Yuu’s, his breath hot against his neck. Yuu muffled a cry, tears pricked the corners of his eyes when Paul yanked his hair back.

“Does this feel familiar, pretty boy,” Paul whispered through gritted teeth.

Yuu kept his mouth shut, and Paul let out a breathy chuckle, pushing away from Yuu.

“That’s what I thought,” he stated in an annoyed tone,”stay out of my way next time.”

Later that day, as Yuu tends to his wounds in the bathroom, he thinks of Yanov. Particularly of when they went their separate ways.

It was their first year of high school. He was excited to see Yanov, and when he first walked in his eyes went searching for his dark-haired friend, he was surprised. Yanov was sitting, talking, and laughing with none other than Paul and Patryck. Despite the fact that he was confused and anxious, Yuu walked over to the trio.

“Hi Yanov,” he said cheerily, getting the three’s attention. Paul scowled, Pat looked away, and Yanov looked nervous.

“Scram, loser,” Paul growled.

Yuu looked at him, then to Yanov, his eyes pleading for his friend to rescue him.

“You heard him. Scram.”

Yuu looked surprised before his surprise dissolved into betrayal. He walked away, fighting tears. Surely Yanov had his reasons, maybe he was getting revenge for all the years Paul had taunted Yuu, surely he wasn’t really abandoning him.

It wasn’t until school let that Yuu saw Yanov again. This time he was alone. He stormed over, his anger clear despite his attempts to stay calm.

“Yanov. What the hell was that about, this morning?”

Yanov snapped around, his face clearly showing his fear at being confronted in such a way. He took a step towards Yuu, his hand landing on his shoulder, he looked away guiltily.

“Listen, Yuu, we’re in high school now… This is my chance to get ahead in life, but… I can’t do that if I’m constantly having to save you. Paul and Pat have accepted me into their group, I don’t have to worry about people messing with me anymore. People basically worship me now, but that means, we can’t be seen together anymore. At least not as friends.”

Yanov smiled sadly before pushing Yuu to the ground.

“So get out of here, fag!”

Yuu stood, his face suddenly void of emotion, and stared into Yanov’s eyes. A few tears dripped down his face, the only indication of his turmoil. After a few moments of silence, he turned and left the school.

“Everybody up! Get dressed, and get in single file! Hustle, hustle, hustle!”

The yelling startled Yuu from his uncomfortable slumber, shooting straight up and leaping from his bed, he quickly got dressed in his uniform. He moved into the line and waited for inspection. The sergeant looked each person over and finally decided everyone was in perfect condition. He moved back to the front of the bunk room, this one specifically for rookies. He put his hands behind his back and stood up straighter.

“Today we will begin your first day of training.”

He made the signal to follow him, and each person fell into step behind him, being led to the training yard. In the hallways, they were met with snickers and taunts, but that was something Yuu had experience with, he could handle it.

Or so he had thought.

They had finally made it outside, and by the training yard was a group of people, likely gathering to watch the rookies make fools of themselves. Among those few was none other than Yanov.

Yuu’s heart pounded, his face turned red, and he stared at Yanov. He looked well, he was strong looking, powerful. His dark hair was slicked back some with gel. He looked good in a uniform. It hadn’t dawned on Yuu how close they were at this point, a few feet at least.

“What’re you looking at, rookie,” Yanov called to him and Yuu was snapped from his trance, his face immediately burning much brighter than before.

Yuu looked at Yanov and the group around him. He was surprised and scared to near death when he read the names of the two people closest to Yanov; Paul and Patryck. The worst part though was that clearly none of them recognized him.

The taunting continued. This time led by Yanov, which was strange to him. There were countless times where he was shoved into the dirt and called weak. Yanov attempted to start fights with him, though it was never reciprocated.

All this time and Yanov still hadn’t recognized his former best friend. Guess that showed how close they had really been.

“How does that feel, huh rookie?”

Yuu spit the blood that was pooling in his mouth, the punch had knocked him to the ground. He glared up at Yanov.

“I’m not going to lie, Yanov, I am surprised at you.”

Yanov looked taken aback, his surprise quickly melting away, anger replacing it. He grabbed Yuu by the collar of his jacket, pulling him up to be eye level with him.

“The hell did you just say to me?”

“I said I’m surprised at you. I honestly thought you would have recognized me by now. Maybe it must be spelled out for you, seeing as clearly you can’t figure it out for yourself. It’s me, Y-U-U.”

Yanov quirked an eyebrow, his head tilting slightly in confusion. It took a moment, but finally, it all clicked in Yanov’s head.

“... Yuu?”

Yuu nodded and found himself in a tight embrace.

“Good god, what’re you doing here?”

“It’s a long story…”

Yanov only held him tighter. “I’m so sorry,” Yanov said quietly, his voice breaking slightly.

“It’s okay, Yanov.”

Yuu and Yanov sat on the floor of Yanov’s quarters, blankets and pillows wrapped around them. They cuddled as they watched a movie on the tiny television, Yuu leaning it Yanov whose arms were wrapped around him. Yanov’s chin rested on top of Yuu’s head.

They acted as though this was the last time they would see each other because it really could be. Yanov was going on a mission, a dangerous one, and he may not come back. The two always spend the night together the night before one of them is sent into battle.

“Yan..? Can I tell you something”

“Of course you can!”

“I love you… a lot.”

Yanov chuckled, “I love you too.”

“I don’t want to lose you…” Yuu started, “I think you should stop going on missions. I don’t think we should be in the army anymore. I think we should run away…”

Yanov paused, his mouth agape in shock. He pulled away from Yuu and turned him around so they were facing each other. Yuu’s eyes were beginning to water, tears threatening to spill.

“We can’t do that, Yuu,” Yanov stated calmly, laying his hand on Yuu’s shoulder.

“Why not,” Yuu shouted, ripping himself from Yanov’s touch as though it had burned him.

“They’ll hunt us down and kill us!”

“We’ll die either way! I’d rather die next to you than miles apart!”

Yanov halted again, his body shaking with a wave of emotions. He looked at Yuu, his teary-eyed partner. Yuu noticed just how shaken he had become, but his gaze was cold as ever, reminding him of their high school years.

“No. We are not leaving. That’s final,” he spoke through gritted teeth.

“If I run, will you come find me?”

Yanov turned away, his jaw clenching.

“If you run, you are an enemy of this army. I will hunt you down and kill, that is my job.”

Yuu looked at him sadly, his tears finally spilling over. He took a step back as if the words had physically pushed him.

“Fine. I’ll see you around,” he slammed the door on his way out.

#eddsworld #eddsworld fic #eddsworld yuu #eddsworld yanov #eddsworld paul #eddsworld pat #eddsworld yuunov #eddsworld paultryck #yuunov #paultryck #ew yuu #ew yanov #ew paul #ew pat #ew yuunov #ew paultryck #radwritings

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radwritings-blog · 6 years

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Clean

Rating: Teen+ (There is nudity but it’s not graphic, and there’s no sex)

Summary: Tom takes a shower and also tries to deal with his overwhelming emotional stuff.

I stand in front of the mirror, slightly fogged at the steam collecting there. The shower is running, perfect white noise to drown out the ever constant screaming in my head. Sometimes a few whispers will trickle in through my ears anyways, and I think those are what hurts the most.

I stare at my naked body, a sense of detachment filling me. I remind myself that I’m not staring at my reflection, it isn’t me in that mirror.

I was born in the wrong body, some would say. I disagree. This body is my cage, my prison, given to me from God. He held a grudge against my family, because we were unnatural in the eyes of God. At least that what the good people of the church told us when we tried to attend service.

My hands come up and cup my chest, squeezing and pulling at the breasts that had formed there, feeling tension on them. I want nothing more than to rip them away from me, but that’s not how it works. Instead you have to go through expensive surgeries, that may cause your body more damage. I refuse to go through them, mostly out of fear.

I trail my thin fingers over my hips, round and feminine, and with my thumbs I push into them, almost like I was trying to reshape them to my desired look. If only it was really that simple.

While watching myself in the mirror, my hands reach down to the bush in between my legs. My body shakes and I stop. I sit on the wall of the bathtub and let few tears and shaky breaths escape me.

I feel rage build in my stomach and sorrow in my heart and the two combine in my body making force out a violent sob, I double over and clench my eyes shut and sob because all I can think about is how wrong I am.

All I can think about is how wrong I am. I’m wrong. I’m wrong. From the moment I was conceived I was wrong. From the moment my parents got together they were wrong. Everything about me is wrong.

And then a knock. At first I think it’s the loud drumming of my heart, but I hear it again and confirm it’s from the other side of the door.

“Tom? Are you okay?”

Edd. It’s Edd. It’s only Edd it’s okay.

“I’m.. I’m okay, Edd,” he knows I’m not, he can hear the tears in my voice he knows I’m not okay.

“Alright...” he says to me, his voice hesitant, and for good reason.

Quickly I get in the shower and scrub my body, imagining that I’m cleaning away all the parts I don’t want. I imagine rinsing the soap away and finding that my body is right.

I step out of the shower and dry off well, slipping on my binder, a t-shirt, and some basketball shorts. The perfect lounge outfit. I leave the bathroom and make my way to the living room, flopping onto the couch to watch whatever show is already on.

It’s perfect white noise to drown out the constant screaming in my head. And apparently to drown out the sound of sneaky footsteps behind me, because am nearly given a heart attack when green arms wrap around me from behind.

“You know you can talk to us right? Me and Matt are always here for you.”

I nod, enjoying the warmth my friend has to offer me.

“I know Edd. Thank you.”

#eddsworld #sinsworld #ew tom #eddsworld tom #sw tom #sinsworld tom #ew edd #eddsworld edd #radwritings #its very short #im sorry

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