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revengeisourlullaby · 3 years

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If I Never Knew You (End)

Warnings: 18+, honestly this one barely has anything crazy going on it in. It’s the resolve to everything, a little angst,

a/n: I hope you all have enjoyed this little series I wrote up. I had a lot of fun writing it and maybe will do more in the future. Maybe I’ll add onto this and further the story line but as of right now I’m pretty content with the outcome. As always, asks/requests are open! And if you want to be tagged let me know! Have a wonderful day :)

Word count: 1.9K

Loki x female!reader

Eyes fluttering open, it was dark in your room. The moonlight peeking in from underneath the curtains in your bedroom. Sitting up in your bed you reached over into your bedside table and pulled out a box of matches. Grabbing the candle sitting atop your table you lit it to move around your room without tripping over anything. Reaching the door it seemed that everyone had slipped into their own bedrooms for the evening.

Perfect.

Closing your door once more you moved toward your closet and picked out a dress more suitable for the evening. It was blue-gray with thin straps holding the beauty together. The neck had extra fabric that mimicked sleeves and trailed down the front of your chest. Silver embellishments were delicately placed down the bottom of the skirt and pooled at the bottom of your feet when you wore it. Setting the candle back on your nightstand, you shimmied out of the dress Loki so kindly gave to you this morning and put on your new one. Hoping that new clothes would rid you of some of the residual energy of the day.

On the front of your bed was a grey knitted shawl that you made months prior. Finding your pair of silver sandals you tied the straps around your ankle and blew out the candle. Letting your eyes become adjusted to the dark you gently moved the curtain careful to not make any noise when pulling it back. Sticking your head out the window you made sure that the coast was clear still and your father hadn’t come outside for something. Seeing the still night you grabbed your shawl and gingerly slid out your window. Wrapping the shawl around your head you began your possible last walk to the golden tower you were hoping to once be yours.

You had to walk silently but also with a purpose. Judging by where the moon sat in the sky, Loki would still be awake at this hour. Once stepping out of the vicinity that was your home you felt safer to move more quickly. Almost running, you made your way to the garden that Loki found you in the very first time you met. Unknowingly, tears were rolling down your cheeks. The day's events coming back to haunt you and the beautiful memories you shared with Loki come to the forefront as well. It was becoming too much to bear all too quickly.

Slowing down you balanced yourself on your knees and took slow deep breaths. Finally catching your breath, you saw a figure in the distance walking toward the garden. You froze but didn’t want to look too suspicious so you slowly walked into the garden and sat on the marble bench. Turning your back, you faced out toward the water that surrounded Asgard and hoped that the figure you saw walking in the distance would never come. But to your dismay, you heard the ground crunching behind you. Shuddering you hoped they would just walk on by leaving you to be alone.

“Are you alright?”

It was Loki. What was he doing out?

You were surprised nonetheless but also extremely relieved.

“Loki? What are you-”

You cut yourself, your emotions bubbling up in your throat. A knot formed and you were trying your best not to let tears spill over but Loki’s presence broke the dam you desperately tried to keep together.

“Y/N, what’s the matter? Why are out here running across the ground and alone?”

Loki finally made his way to face you head-on and upon placing his finger under your chin he saw the remnants of the tears staining your cheeks.

“Who hurt you? Did something happen at home?”

“Y-yes, but I just...I’m beyond overwhelmed and seeing you just kinda pushed me over my limit. My apologies.”

“Darling, look at me.”

Placing his hands on either side of your shoulders, he took one hand and wiped another hot tear streaking down your face.

“If you don’t tell me what’s happened I can’t begin to help you through anything. So, walk me through it. We’ve got all night.”

He smirked at you. Trying to make light of the situation, something he’s always had a knack for. Sighing, you let out a choked laugh finding the strength within you to speak to Loki about everything.

“Well, I told my parents. And my mother was surprisingly accepting of us and the idea of it all-”

“-Which is good! So why the crying?”

“Well if you let me finish...My father is the one who gave me a hard time. And to top it off, they had a suitor in there at the dining table to meet me. So on top of him completely disregarding my happiness and what my life means to me, some poor bastard had to hear it all firsthand. It was just wildly embarrassing.”

“So...we have one out of two blessings. Well, that's better than nothing.”

“Yes but Loki I’m not even supposed to be here right now. My father at the top of his lungs said that I’m not to see you again until his mind is made.”

Loki’s hands traveled down your arms and rested on top of your hands.

“Did you tell him about, well you know..”

“Yes and I think that is our only saving grace right now. Without that, I don’t think he would’ve even considered a second thought.”

You sighed, buried rage now coming to the forefront

“And the way he spoke about you, he wouldn’t even let me defend you or explain myself. Just continuously cut me off. Gods! If only he knew. If only he cared to know the love and passion we share with one another. But I’ve never had the luxury of him truly listening to me. Always been the afterthought and he doesn’t understand that with you, you’ve always made me feel centered. Never off balance and you’ve given all and more I could ever ask for in a partner. Loki I just can’t bear to lose you. I just can’t.”

“Come. Stand up Y/N.”

Loki held your hands tightly as if to tell you there was no way he was letting go. Reluctantly, you stood from the bench and trailed behind Loki. He led you to the ledge of the garden, getting a better look out at what was Asgard. The moonlight painting both of you beautifully and the roses framing your body eloquently.

“Look out at the sky. What do you see Y/N?”

“The stars, the moon shining bright, and freedom for lack of a better term.”

“And what stands out to you the most?”

“The stars. The way the shine in tandem with the moon. It makes for a beautiful image that I don’t think I could forget.”

Tapping on the back of your hand, you turned to face Loki

“The stars cannot exist without the moon my love, the same way our love cannot exist without one another.”

You knew his words meant well but you couldn’t help but sniffle at them. It almost felt like a goodbye of some sort.

“Yes, but Loki-”

“-Ah ah. No ‘buts’. Listen to me. Everything that has happened between us I wouldn’t trade for anything. If I never knew you I would have known how precious life can be. If I never knew you I would never have known what unconditional love felt like.”

The tears in your eyes have now since faded, being replaced with unbelievable wonder and complete and utter love. Loki’s eyes held such sincerity that you felt you needed to speak up sooner or you would look like a fool, but he beat you to it.

“In this world that’s full of fear, rage, and lies, you showed me the truth of what life could be. And you showed me it with such luster that I couldn’t imagine anything else. And when I look into your eyes I know you feel the same, so please, Y/N, dry your eyes. None of this would have been possible without your radiant shine and love for life and for that, I am so grateful to you.”

Words failed you but you wanted to let him know that you were still in this till the end. Gazing up at him you looked down and placed your face into his chest, wrapping your arms around him in a tight, unsuspecting hug. Pulling away from him you finally felt that words could be formed and you could properly voice your thoughts. You stood closer to the ledge and looked off into the distance before speaking.

“I thought our love would be so beautiful and somehow make the entirety of Asgard burn with admiration. I never knew that hate and fear could be so strong and leave us in the dust waiting for answers that may never be given.”

Turning around to face him you looked up into his eyes again and his hand rested on your lower back.

“But still my heart is saying we were right and I can’t let that go. I never will. For if I never knew you, I would have never known this love that we’ve created. I found you when I was meant to and I’m forever grateful for the moments we have created.”

“Y/N I want you to know that there is no moment I regret. With you, I have finally learned what it means to live with purpose. While I don’t think our time is gone just yet, with you I have lived at last. There’s no avoiding that. I’d be lost forever if I never knew you.”

A bittersweet smile pressed against your lips and you brought his face down to yours. A kiss that was searing but with affirmation and probity. You felt at home in Loki’s arms and he felt the same. The two of you would be taking this hurdle by storm and ensuring that separation would not be a variable worth considering. Loki pulled away and stepped behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist and his head resting atop yours. Rolling it to the side he spoke once more,

“You know this isn’t goodbye right. Just a small bump in the road.”

“I know. Considering my mother was on board it’s only a matter of time, I just want to know for sure when that time will come. My father just makes everything hectic.”

“Buut you have me, and always will. So when you need not only relief but comfort I am here for you darling. He’s not going to lock you up forever, eventually, he’ll tire of ignoring his only daughter and will regret his decisions. Trust me. Just harbor a bit of patience.”

“I’m not sure what I would’ve done without you in my life Loki. Everything seems possible with you.”

Bringing your hands up to rest on his you spoke again,

“I love you, Loki.”

“Y/N, I love you more than you could envision and I will be counting the days until I get to call you my wife. Formally at least. Because principally, you already are.”

The two of you began swaying in each other's arms enjoying the silent company between you two. Within time you wouldn’t be restrained from your lover, but at this moment you wanted to soak it all in. Imagining your life together and what could be. You knew you couldn’t stay out for long, not wanting to risk your father’s temper or your sanity. But while you could enjoy this moment, you made sure to bask entirely in the seraphic ambiance of it all.

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Taglist: @mad4marvelloki @lightmelikeamatch

#loki #loki fanfic #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson fanfic #loki laufeyson imagine #loki laufeyson x reader #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine #marvel x reader

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