stillheresanctuary

[stillheresanctuary]

So. It's Been A While.

That last update was a bit prophetic, wasn't it.

Uhm, I guess I should give a sort of summary of the last... Two? Three years? For people that are still lingering.

I'll put the bulk of it under a read more, but TL;DR- Parks Department job has panned out really well, had to move out a second time due to Stuff, Dad had a second stroke and passed away from complications, my mom's dog passed away from a malignant tumor, and I'm currently doing a lot of juggling to help Mom and myself try to survive.

Could be better. Could be a lot worse.

For folks that want some more details, well-

I'll get the rough stuff out of the way first.

My dad died. It'll be two years this October. He had a second stroke, and went from slow but steady improvement to a rapid decline that ended with Mom and I mutually agreeing that his quality of life had degraded so badly it was basically torture forcing him to stay alive. He wasn't quite a vegetable at the end, but it was close. He couldn't talk. He couldn't articulate his needs. He couldn't take care of himself in any fashion.

I sat and waited in his hospice room, and saw when the final breath left his body. There is no possible means to describe the Certainty, and the Relief. Knowing he was gone, and that he was no longer suffering.

Neither Mom or I have really had the space to fully process it. His ashes have yet to be scattered, and we haven't be able to coordinate a wake for the extended family. I don't know if we'll ever have one at this rate, but we want to give him a send off for everyone to properly say their good byes.

Less than two months after Dad passed, Mom called me crying. Tali, our family dog for the last 16 years, hadn't been feeling very well for a while, and gave Mom a couple bad scares before she finally had to be rushed to an emergency vet. They found out that Tali had been developing a tumor, and while it wasn't metastasized or actively malignant, it had begun to interrupt body functions and after a sudden seizure, had caused internal bleeding so bad they weren't sure she would survive being sedated let alone surgical intervention.

We decided it would do her a disservice to force her through such an invasive procedure, with no guarantee of recovery, let alone good health.

Mom and I both held her as the doctors gave her a fatal dosage of anesthetic, and she passed away peacefully. Her ashes are also still with us, waiting for us to decide how to honor her life.

On to less miserable topics-

Moving house! Happened cause the roommates we moved in with ended up paranoid assholes who tried to get us evicted and/or arrested on falsified charges of theft! We had to call up the sheriff, police and the landlord, as well as a tenant-landlord lawyer, to get the roommates of our backs. We moved out as soon as we were able to keep their assholery from reoccurring and possibly resulting in legal actions.

My partner and I ended up staying with a mutual friend for a couple months while we hunted for a new place, and now we've been staying in a pretty nice duplex that we're currently hoping won't price us out come the next lease reup (there's consulting of tenant-landlord lawyers in the plan for negotiating with the landlord). Other than fretting over funds, we're pretty alright.

Job! Parks and Rec invited me back to a longer season, and I just recently got invited back again, and I may actually apply for a year round full time position. The people are great, I enjoy the work I do, the benefits are excellent, and I even have a supervisor who Gives A Shit for once.

Pretty sure the job kept me from a depression spiral when Dad and Tali passed away back to back.

Rapid fire what else- Got a new to me car, reconnected with a bunch of friends from old fandoms, made new friends in an entirely new fandom, started looking into possibly going back to school, helped my mom with buying a house and a car, got sick with Covid twice, got two cavities drilled and filled, played way too much Cult Of The Lamb...

I think that's it? At least, that's all I can remember anymore.

It's been A Lot.

What does this say for this project?

Well, I still want to put work into it. I want to reinvest myself and my interests into this world that I've created. Considering current Tumblr drama, I may end up seeing how much I can transition over to something less fragile, like Neocities. I haven't made a webpage in so long it's ridiculous, but it could be worth it to mirror all my Tumblr projects onto something that I can actually archive.

It's a bit up in the air, and I apologize in advance if I vanish again, since I'm going to be going back to work at the end of March and I'm not sure how much energy I'll have to juggle. Whatever happens-

Thank you all for participating in this experience with me. You all have made this silly little side project a true joy, and I'm thankful for everyone who has made it possible.

#stuff cell says #mun stuff

[stillheresanctuary]

I hope you know that it's okay if you have to let this blog go in order to build a healthy and happy life for yourself. No one here would begrudge you that. The bitties and characters on this blog are truly just pretend, while you are a real person with real needs to care for. Please put yourself first. No one will die if you don't update here, but you may be hurt in some way if you push yourself too far.

Thank you for your concern, I truly appreciate it.

I have been taking time off from the blog, working on myself and my situation, and sometimes, it feels like I’ve moved on from everything here.

But... I love this project.

I started this blog when I was in kind of a bad place mentally, feeling lonely and useless and just- Wanting to have SOMETHING I felt I could do that was in some way positive. The Bittybones community has it’s rough spots to be sure, but over all, the community has been stunning in their acceptance and understanding, and the fact that I was able to get this blog off the ground at all is mostly due to the interactions I’ve had with the community.

I don’t think I’ll ever fully give up on this blog. I’ve had too many positive experiences and good stories to leave entirely. And people like you specifically are the primary reason why. This community CARES so much, cares about the people involved, the creators working so hard, the creatures that -while fictional- still bring us joy in their creation. And it’s a beautiful thing that never fails to bring a warmth and joy to my heart.

Ah, I’m getting a bit mushy, but I think you get the point.

I’ll take care of myself and my life, don’t you fret. But I’ll be here, on and off, if nothing else to say hello and keep everyone updated. :)

#stuff cell says #mun stuff #anon #reply #Anonymous

[stillheresanctuary]

*skids in on face*

*spits out grass*

HEY!

I’M ALIVE!

AND I HAVE A NEW JOB!

I know this isn’t the update folks will want to hear, especially with the lingering RPs lying around and the unfinished art pieces I still have sitting on my hard drive, but I promised myself I wouldn’t leave you all hanging while life gets busy. So, even if it isn’t the artwork I wanted to put up or the response I’ve been stuck on, I thought it would be a good idea to at least say hello and give everyone an update on things.

So, a lot has happened over the last few months.

I’ve mentioned that I had to move out of the place I’ve lived in for the last 4 and a half years, which turned out to be a much longer process than originally anticipated. What I never said anything about was everything ELSE that happened around the same time.

The biggest thing? My dad had a stroke.

Before anyone panics, he’s fine, improving every day. Currently in assisted living getting physical therapy and being taken care of by professionals. It’s still a massive emotional and mental toll, but what really got me by the throat was wrangling my mom’s reactions to the whole situation. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say I got to a point where I legitimately wanted to strangle a 72 year old woman so she would leave me alone for 20 minutes to breathe. Things have improved greatly since she’s managed to spread out her emotional waterfall to friends and family besides myself, it was just so taxing on my mental health at the time that I lashed out pretty bad. I kept all of it off the internet for my own sake, I didn’t want to sound like I was fishing for sympathy or anything, but it was legitimately draining to where I actually resented the fact that my mom had my phone number.

On a better note, as I mentioned earlier, I finally got a job!

I’m only in my second week of work, but I got a position as a Seasonal Parks Maintenance Assistant for the next six months. It’s nothing fancy, literally all I do is go from park to park and empty trash and clean bathrooms if they’re present. I’m basically a janitor for shared public spaces that can park in funky places and drive on trails to access the places I need to clean. And I actually kind of love it. I get to be outside in the sunny spring-summer weather all afternoon, I get to help keep the lovely parks of my hometown clean and safe, and I get to explore new locations I never even knew about while doing so. Sure, garbage juice is stinky and I end up sweating like a hog at a butcher shop a lot of the time, and some folks don’t seem to understand the difference between the Parks Department and the Police Department (and all that that implies), but my coworkers are wonderful, I’m not stuck inside during the nicest part of the year, and I feel like I’m legitimately helping and making a net positive difference in my community.

But with a full 40 hours work week, my time and focus of projects has been pretty thoroughly shaken up, and I’m still trying to work out a schedule to clean my clothes, let alone get things in line for this blog.

Yeah. I’m not happy about that either.

I love this project. I love the community here, I love the people I’ve talked with, I love feeling like I’m doing something positive and helpful and overall providing good feels for folks. I’m simply struggling with figuring out how to juggle it with everything else I have going on, and have been for a while.

I refuse to abandon this project. I won’t leave this place without a knock down drag out tooth-and-nail FIGHT. But it’s going to be slow and ponderous and probably more than a little dead for some time yet.

So, thank you everyone who has stuck around so far. I love and appreciate you every day.

#Day to Day #mod stuff #stuff cell says

[stillheresanctuary]

Moving Update 2.0

Firstly: UGH.

This is the roughest move I have ever had in my 30 years of life, gods help me if I ever have to deal with this bullsh*t ever again.

TLDR; Moving from a house into a shared apartment space is a pain in the ASS and I feel like I might strangle something if one more thing goes wrong.

Further chatter under cut.

I feel like all the trouble with the repaint should have gotten me wised up to the fact that this move was going to be a righteous pain, but I kept my optimism as long as I could and BOY HOWDY am I just TIRED now. My right knee hates me, my back hurts, my sleep schedule is all kinds of whacked out- I hate it all very much.

To keep it simple, the biggest problem with the whole move was realizing just how much STUFF I own. I thought I was doing pretty good while I was living at the house for 4+ years, but I forgot how much of my belongings ended up i shared house space and WOO, was that a wake up call. It felt like every time I turned around, I found More Stuff that I had to clean and organize and decide if it was something to keep or dispose of. Kitchen gear, sewing supplies, food, an arm chair-!

Let’s just say the last couple *checks calendar* WEEKS have been extremely frustrating and leave it at that.

The good thing is that everything is FINALLY out of the old house, and I have successfully downsized a large majority of my belongings. Things were sold, donated, dumped, and I’m still going through things as I am able to unpack them since I had to rush a bit at the ends to get out of the house in time. My current biggest obstacle is figuring out where to PUT everything, and it has resulted in some of the most frustrating furniture/tool hunts I have had to endure. When the bookcase you’re relying on to FINALLY be able to unpack the many boxes of action figures and collectibles refuses to come back together into a solid piece and you have to go hunting for a hand plane to trim down the STUPID backerboard to fit into the bookcase and fucking CHRIST the space I’m working in is so narrow and cramped due to where I have to build this stupid thing goddamnit if a new barrister wasn’t so fecking EXPENSIVE I would just get a new one and donate this fucker to the nearest second hand shop so help me-!!!!

Ranting. I am ranting. Okay, stop it, breathe. I’m tired and grumpy and I’m finally going to make it to my chiropractor today thank FUCK I want my back to stop aching thank you.

ANYWAY-!

It’s going to be a bit longer before I’m able to get things back to normal on this blog, thank you all for sticking with me through the insanity, you’re wonderful and I love you.

#rant #Day to Day #mod stuff #stuff cell says

[stillheresanctuary]

Moving Update!

HOOOO BOY, BUSY WEEK HAPPENED WOW.

So, as I said in my previous update, my plan is to set up a dedicated schedule for SHRCS once I’m fully moved into my new place. WELL. Long story short, it’s taking a bit longer than expected.

The place where I’m moving is a large room I’m going to be sharing that used to be a garage, and the previous tenant painted the place battleship gray. It was super dark and confining, and the lighting didn’t help. Thankfully, the landlord was 100% on board with my roommate and I re-painting, so we pooled a little money and got to work. This is where the trouble started.

One- The walls are not standard drywall. Instead, they’re wooden shiplap that has broad panels with narrow strips in between. Nice for installing stuff, a pain and a half to prep, clean and paint. Two- The previous tenant hung decor EVERYWHERE, including numerous fixtures and thumbtacks. The first 6 and half hours of work was JUST removing all the excess crap from the walls (and discovering how much of it was so not safely installed).

Thanks to how labor intensive this makeover has been, my roommate, me, and a very helpful friend of mine only just finished everything TODAY. WE STARTED SATURDAY. The summary of our success (below a cut to keep from getting too long):

Two coats of primer to cover the dark paint, white paint on the two shared walls, two different colors on the individual walls, primed and painted all the windowsills because they wound up looking super dingy and gross in comparison.

Painted one of the doors because the previous paint job was peeling off and creating a really bad dust hazard for my allergy prone roommate.

Changed out the previous lightbulb with a bulb properly rated for the fixture, bought a new shade that doesn’t interfere with the light.

Uninstalled and reinstalled a large bookcase that had been screwed into one of the walls.

Properly installed the wooden mantelpiece over the fireplace, because it was originally only secured in place with a single finishing nail.

Installed an LED taplight by the entry door to make it easier to lock/unlock the door because the outdoor light doesn’t work for squat (I haven’t had the energy to check the bulb yet, but it’s pretty grody).

Started furnishing the room with storage shelves and a couple easy clean rugs for the entry way and ‘welcome mat’.

And I still need to talk to the landlord about possibly getting a new exterior door knob, because the lock is janky AF. And about the ceiling composition so I can see about installing cabling for a curtain system.

All that said though, I’m really happy with how the finished space turned out and I’m looking forward to actually being able to move myself, my cat and my roommate into our new home!

#stuff cell says #Day to Day #meta #mod stuff

[stillheresanctuary]

General Update

Hey everybody, long time no see.

So, this is mostly an update for people who aren’t following my main blog, but it’s probably a good catch up for everybody else as well. I totally don’t mind if nobody reads this, I simply feel it’s important for me to pop in and make sure folks know A) I’m not dead, and B) this blog isn’t dead.

Here’s the in depth:

At the beginning of this pandemic, before things went really SOL, I was just starting a new job, where I was going to be a summer camp councilor. I was super excited, and I got through the training, got to run a grand total of two quests- And then everything shut down. I was furloughed, and forced to rely on Unemployment Benefits and food stamps to keep me from going homeless and hungry. That was the end of July.

Now, here in January 2021, I’m still without a job, but things are looking up!

I’m moving house to a location that’s $200 cheaper than where I currently live, so less expenses coming out of my pocket. I’ve applied to become a teacher on Skillshare, where I’m hoping I’ll be able to put together some classes on basic sewing skills and how to salvage material from fast fashion (I’ll post a link here to the classes if folks are interested at all). I’m buffing my illustration portfolio and looking into freelance work (my resume is still in progress, but it’s getting there).

These are positives that I am clinging to quite desperately, praying that they pan out so that this year- This Year- will prove to be That Much Better than 2020.

Now. What’s this got to do with the blog?

Well, first things first- Once I’ve gotten myself moved, I’m going to start a dedicated schedule for the Rescue Center. It’s something I was trying to do throughout 2020, but was never fully able to thanks to Literally Everything plus my own Bad Brain (I’m looking into getting therapy, so Bad Brain is being worked on). While I want to continue the various RP threads that unfortunately wound up stagnating over the year, I also want to introduce more art and general interaction to the blog as a whole, and I’m thinking a rotating schedule including Art Streams and Crew Ask days to help with world building and general plot will be fun for everyone. I’m also thinking of including more of these general Day To Day updates, including gardening and crafts that I would be doing with the Crew (either drawing them in or implying them in the scene).

I want to do more with this blog, I want to include people more and I want to have fun with this all again. I miss playing with everyone, I miss answering questions and generally just having a good time with everybody.

That being said, please reblog and reply to this post with any ideas you think might be fun. Should I go forward with the gardening? Should I include moving projects and having the Crew involved? What would you like to see in the art streams? What would you like to see happen for events?

I’d be happy to hear any and all ideas. :)

#stuff cell says #mod stuff #Day to Day #meta

[stillheresanctuary]

It's okay if you just didn't want to answer them, but I was the anon who sent the original ask about Chase the Twister after my cousin died, and I had sent some follow ups wanting to check on him. If you remember, the rest of the family were suspicious of him, but I knew he was grieving and just didn't know how to help. Have you been able to talk to him at all, or convince him to stop hurting himself?

I’m afraid that if you sent any follow up questions, they must have been eaten by the inbox, so I apologize for not being able to update you. In any case, we were able to coax him out of the old apartment and into the Sanctuary, mostly with some help from Van’s healing ability sedating him a bit. It was... An adjustment, to say the least.

We wound up basically having to pad a room as he started hurling himself at the walls, and both Halim and Van had to balance between healing his injuries and sedating to keep him from hurting himself in the first couple weeks. A fellow Bitty professional who has more experience with Twister types came over to help us out, and we managed to get him settled down enough to actually talk, and once we got him to open up a bit, we managed to get ahold of a therapist to talk to him. Okay, we went through four therapists before finally finding one who would take us seriously, but a therapist was found and that’s what’s important.

As of today, Chase is still seeing a therapist every other week, and his self harming problems have been drastically reduced with some extra help from providing a number of fidget toys and teaching him how to finger knit (he’s so much better at that me now, it’s not even funny). Whisper has surprisingly turned out to be a huge help, he’s basically decided that Chase is the ideal buddy to learn ASL with and will bother him to practice whenever he thinks Chase is starting to have a downswing.

He’s not fully better, I doubt he ever will, but he’s alive and learning and improving, and that’s all we can really ask for.

#anonymous #reply #stuff cell says #twistofchase #resident update #trigger warning #self harm mention #Anonymous

[stillheresanctuary]

Are the bitties that live at the sanctuary permitted to leave if they want to? Like, if one of them just decided they didn't want to live there any more or didn't like it? How does that work if the bitty in question is not well-equipped for independent living or if one is a potential danger to the community? I'm thinking of Teddy, with his extremely limited intelligence, or Pepper, with his severe mobility issues, or even Princess, who is potentially homicidal.

That’s a very good question, and I appreciate your concern.

The general rule of thumb is that if an individual in the care of the sanctuary is fully able to take care of themselves and does not wish to be adopted, they can leave to find a place for themselves elsewhere. We have a lot of bitties that cycle through our sanctuary who come to get medical care or food when they can’t find something consistent, but there’s ‘wild’ bitty communities that prefer to be completely separate from human assistance or companionship unless absolutely necessary. A bit like how feral cat clowders accumulate in areas, but less territorial and much quieter and cleaner.

However, if a bitty has mental issues that prevent them from taking care of themselves, or have injuries that limit their capability to protect themselves, the Sanctuary is legally obligated to maintain care and prevent them from getting loose in the wild for their own safety as well as the safety of others. Much like wildlife sanctuaries and humane societies, Still Here is a non profit organization that has to cater to specific legal guidelines to be able to be recognized by the state, if not supported by it, and that includes the individuals we HAVE to keep.

That being said, if an able bodied bitty decided they would like to set out on their own, the Sanctuary provides them with something of a ‘going away’ present to help them in their journey. Usually a small satchel of backpack of sturdy material with a bedroll, a small first aid kit and emergency magic candy as well as a few days food and water as well as any personal belongings they may have accumulated in their stay. We always tell them that they are welcome back at any time, even if it’s just to visit, and that we all wish them well in their future ventures.

#reply #stuff cell says #shrcs #still here rescue center and sanctuary #Anonymous

[stillheresanctuary]

when Brain Gremlins (tm) steal your motivation and your energy and you cease to exist for a while

sorry for being gone so long :C

#delete later #mod stuff

[stillheresanctuary]

Awww! Thank you so much Vex!

Halim was already a handsome lovely laddie, I pretty much just put him down as he is. I’m honestly really pleased that his scales came out so nice, I was worried they’d looks more like stickers...

Hey, remember when I was working on a series of portraits for the Crew and Residents?

I’m still working on Mama, but here are Halim and Bahadur, at long last! I’ve drawn Halim before as an ask reply, and it was really interesting figuring out the process of how I created that image versus this portrait, especially since they were in two completely different programs.

These two are my two biggest lads, both in size and in helpfulness- Halim with his medical skills and Bahadur with his cooking. Both of them have been working hard to further improve, and I’m super proud of them!

#vex bittys #stuff cell says #reply

[stillheresanctuary]

Hey, remember when I was working on a series of portraits for the Crew and Residents?

I’m still working on Mama, but here are Halim and Bahadur, at long last! I’ve drawn Halim before as an ask reply, and it was really interesting figuring out the process of how I created that image versus this portrait, especially since they were in two completely different programs.

These two are my two biggest lads, both in size and in helpfulness- Halim with his medical skills and Bahadur with his cooking. Both of them have been working hard to further improve, and I’m super proud of them!

#stuff cell made #Crew Portraits #crew #bahadur #halim #bittybones #bitty bones #portraits

[stillheresanctuary]

A box appears out of nowhere, inside are blankets for all, neverending and practically knows what bitty will want out of the blankets, there’s even weighted blankets. ‘Here, hopefully it helps those who needs it. I wish everyone comfort and successes no matter how small.’ A note reads with a smiley face.

Welp, I’m never going to get them out of there, am I.

#ask #anon ask #donation #Anonymous #whisperwho #sunnythesofty #stuff cell made

[stillheresanctuary]

(Don’t you fret, I love getting to read full descriptions and story passages.)

While Halim gleefully pulled a notepad from his hip pouch to jot down the insights of the other lamia, Jasper seemed to be ignoring their benevolent guests for the moment, fussing with the blanket to settle it comfortably across his mismatched shoulders. He did look up, however, at hearing the shuffle of cardboard and his seemingly ever present frown deepened slightly before he caught up with what was being said. Peering into the box, he gave a soft hum as he found the book to which the visitor was inferring, and he flipped open the cover to read inner description. A thoughtful sort of huff, and he gave a small nod by way of thanks as he moved to settle down right there on the floor, his heavy tail wrapping around the box of books with the new blanket draped over his upper half and the old blanket got a bit tangled in his lower half. It seemed he didn’t care all the much about making himself scarce once he was interested in something...

Cell couldn’t help a soft giggle, smothered behind their hands to keep from drawing the house grump’s attention. “Why don’t we leave these lads to their own devices a bit, we can move out to the sitting room and get everybody else their gifts.”

A short girl with brown/green glasses walks up to the front door of the Sanctuary nervously holding a large box and being nudged forward by a full size Chain who’s also holding a couple boxes. A teacup and edgy bitty sit on top of the pile of items she’s carrying and a miniature chain is draped around her neck like a very drowsy necklace. The full size chain moves around her to open the door with his tail and she moves past him into the building. “Hello?”

(FINALLY getting to this, so sorry to keep you waiting!)

“Mmnh?”

It took a moment to find out where the muffled noise had come from, the large front room being arranged the way it was, but the sound was shortly followed by a figure leaning out from around one of the partition walls that sectioned the open space. Cell smiled around the pencil in their mouth, ducking back out of sight a moment to put their drawing tools away before coming out fully to great the newcomers.

“Hello! Welcome to the Sanctuary, I’m Cell. What can I help you with?”

#roleplay #gifts #senyahgirl #crew

[stillheresanctuary]

I don’t usually reblog non-SHRCS art on here, but I’m really REALLY proud of how this came out and I wanted to share with like minded folks.

When you find old lineart, and know you HAVE to finish it.

Also available on my deviantArt for clearer viewing.

+ + + Open For Commissions! + + +

#stuff cell made #undertale #art

[stillheresanctuary]

Digging around and finding old unfinished artwork and asks...

Sunny and Whisper about to be ADORABLE as I finish this.

#stuff cell says

[stillheresanctuary]

I know there were some roleplays on going before shiz hit the fan and I vanished for a while, but for the life of me I can’t remember who I was playing with.

At me???

#roleplay #delete later #modtalk #stuff cell says

[stillheresanctuary]

General Update

With the pandemic going on and everything else piling up, it’s a wonder that anything gets done around here.

Had to apply for Unemployment Benefits because the camp job, while magnificent fun, has not been giving me enough hours to buy food, let alone pay rent, and I’m going to have to likely apply for EBT by the end of the month when the stimulus addition gets repealed. Not to say that I need six hundred dollars a week, but it was nice to have the cushion while it lasted.

Work here at the Sanctuary has been even slower than usual thanks to the pandemic, which is both irksome and relieving, since it’s both keeping us from going out to provide help and giving us all time to catch up on delayed projects. I’ve re-opened my art commissions to help make ends meet, Halim has been making some incredible headway on prosthetic prototypes with Jasper volunteering as his test subject, Bahadur has been baking practically every other day to help keep spirits up, and pretty much everybody has been helping out with the garden.

Overall, we’re doing okay, getting back in the swing of things as best we all can in this time of upheaval.

#stuff cell says #IRL #day to day #meta