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styxtrixmix Ā· 1 month
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PUTS IN MY MOUTH CHEWS IT EATS SCRUM DIDDLY UMPTIOUS šŸ˜‹
@cryptocism looks at their art pLEASE
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I cleaned up the sketches I made of Jude and Nathaniel! Also Iā€™ve got to give credit to @styxtrixmix since I was clearly quite inspired by their last post, and if you havenā€™t seen their work I highly recommend it! Their art is so creative!!šŸ«¶šŸ«¶
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styxtrixmix Ā· 2 months
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Since I think about clones like Iā€™m getting paid for it, I've been rotating those alternate universe "what if Bart and Thad were actually raised together" scenarios in my brain, with Thad either post-redemption-arc or pre-villainy. Because adjusting Thad's character to fit an ally role while still keeping true to his core motives and personality is so so fascinating to me.
Like I think there's an immediate first instinct to slot Thad into a "bad" twin category: ie rebellious and prickly, doesn't get along with people, mean lil shit. And obviously it's not wrong bc we're outside the realm of canon, but the reading still feels a little left of center.
Because Thad is mean and prickly in canon. In the Impulse comics he belittles Bart and Bartā€™s friends/family constantly in his appearances. He loves to goad, and monologue about his own superiority and intelligence. Heā€™s very Not Nice, and he causes many problems, and he even does it on purpose.
But, I think itā€™s important to consider the context. From the jump Thad knows very little about anything except which team heā€™s on and who heā€™s playing for. He gets his orders from an unseen authority and he carries out his tasks because success means his team wins.
For all his self-aggrandizing talk, everything he does is in service of an end goal that doesn't actually center him. He's trying to get revenge for grievances he's never personally suffered, retribution for actions never committed against him. Everything he does is on someone else's behalf.
Thad sees in black and white, us or them. Up until the final few issues of Mercury Falling, Bart and co. are Thad's enemies, of course he's not going to be nice.
So Thad's motivation seems pretty simple: Thawne Supremacyā„¢.
But itā€™s in Mercury Falling where this starts to fall apart, and the real core of his motivation gets revealed. Thad pretends to be Bart and suddenly Helen is nice to him. Bartā€™s friends think heā€™s funny. Bartā€™s teachers are impressed with his grades. Max ruffles his hair and gives him hugs and tells him heā€™s done a good job.
If he was actually an inherently mean and standoffish character, if Thad actually had significant personal stake in the Thawne VS Allen conflict, the weight of such tiny acts of kindness wouldnā€™t completely break him the way that it does in canon.
Thad thinks his goal is superiority and revenge and Thawne Supremacyā„¢, but he's chasing validation. Thad doesnā€™t have a personal stake in the Thawne VS Allen conflict. He wouldn't get much satisfaction if he actually destroyed Bart and his family. Thad's personal victory would be the recognition after the fact: the praise and attention from the other Thawnes (a group of people he has literally never met) for his success.
He wants validation. That's basically it. And the fact that he gets it so easily from Bart's family and friends doesn't align with how he's told himself things are supposed to work.
Actually tangentially, Bart and Thadā€™s respective relationships to authority is so diametrically opposed and tbh kind of subversive in a superhero narrative. Where the hero is the one carving his own path without regard to social or societal rules, no fucks to give what anybody thinks of it. And the villain is a chronic people-pleaser.
Just based on Thadā€™s reaction to simple praise and affection from Max I really think Thadā€™s motivation has more to do with the response he gets than whatever the details are of any given task. He has no actual personal convictions beyond getting positive attention, and whatever he did have crumbled as soon as Bartā€™s friends laughed at his joke one time. Which of course leads into the core of his whole conflict at the end of Mercury Falling. He cares too much about Bartā€™s friends and family now, he doesnā€™t want to kill them, but worse than that, heā€™s faced with the sudden realization that heā€™s on the wrong side.
The Allens gave Thad everything he actually wanted and needed, but his conception of himself is inexorably tied to the Thawnes: who gave him jack shit. These two facts are in opposition to each other, and he canā€™t reconcile the reality of it.
Anyway all this to say, in an AU where Bart and Thad are raised together or Thad gets an actual redemption arc etc etc, I think my personal take on Thadā€™s personality whether it be pre-or-post-villainy would be one that is extremely socially conscious. He is much more of a people-person than Bart. Whether he's actually accurate in assessing people's feelings and how to respond to them can be hit or miss, but he wants to behave in a way that gets people to like him.
Pretending to be Bart isnā€™t remarked upon as, like, a difficult task for Thad. In his internal monologue heā€™s literally bragging to himself about how easy it is. But whatā€™s especially notable to me is where his act differs from Bart's typical MO. Everyone notices, and lots of people comment, and presumably if Thad didnā€™t have the excuse of Maxā€™s illness to ā€œmotivateā€ Bart to do better he wouldā€™ve been found out immediately. And those things are, specifically: paying attention in class, doing his chores, staying on task, and being helpful around the house. The one thing about Bart he chooses not to emulate is Bartā€™s rebelliousness.
Thad wants to prove himself, constantly, to whatever authority he respects (probably Max in this scenario) and will do whatever it takes to make that happen. In contrast to Bart, who only listens to authority when the shit they're saying actually makes sense to him. Itā€™s excessively difficult to convince him to go against his own interests. (And I think a key part of that is Bartā€™s security in knowing that no matter how much he fucks up or doesnā€™t listen, the people he loves will always love him back.)
Thadā€™s got the people-pleaser in him that has to deserve whatever heā€™s given. Itā€™s why heā€™s happiest when heā€™s given a clear goal or objective to complete, because it gives him an opening to prove himself.
All this to say that if we are quantifying Bart and Thad as a "good" or "bad" twin, in the eyes of every authority: Bart is the bad twin. Bart is the bad twin, Bart is the bad twin. Bart is the one who doesnā€™t care about school and whose grades vary wildly depending on his personal interest. Heā€™s the one who goes off to do dangerous shit for fun and gets in trouble constantly and doesnā€™t do his chores and is thoroughly unconvinced by any authority figure trying to sell him bullshit.Ā 
Thad is the one who needs to know all the rules just so he can experience the joy of following them. Relentlessly obedient. He'll put all his effort into doing all the right things thatā€™ll endear him to whoever he wants to impress - meaning heā€™s the asshole who reminds the teacher about the assigned homework. Bart might be the most popular boy in school, but Thad is a pleasure to have in class.
Like Thad can (and should) still be high-strung and short-tempered and sarcastic and edgy and mean, because he is. But he canā€™t be doing all that without rhyme or reason. Colouring every interaction has to be that one-zero binary of ally or enemy. He needs to have somebody heā€™s proving himself to: a team heā€™s on and a team heā€™s against. Heā€™s not an inherently rebellious character. He can go up against The Enemy, whoever he deems as such, but it has to be in service of a hypothetical future in which somebody eventually tells him he did a great job.
And in the interest of continuing to beat a dead horse, it connects to their respective upbringings. Thad and Bart were both raised in VR, but Bartā€™s experience had the side effect of basically hard-wiring him against insecurity. His world was a playground tailor-made for him, and he was never made to feel bad or insufficient about any aspect of himself. His first interaction with a real human person was Iris moving heaven and earth to save him, without him knowing her, without her knowing him, with no reasoning for the act needed beyond Being Her Grandson. Which is probably a significant factor in why Bart moves through the world with frankly atomic levels of autistic swag.
Thadā€™s VR upbringing installed self-consciousness in his psyche before any other personality trait. As in: he is immediately made conscious of himself and his relationship with everyone he will ever encounter. Heā€™s told two things: heā€™s a clone of someone else (inherently derivative, lesser) and that he was made to be superior (a status to achieve). Which is such an instant clarifier for Thadā€™s everything. Where superiority is a condition that everyone either has, or does not. Itā€™s the one-zero binary again: are they better than me or am I better than them. Being above others is mandatory, and if his superiority is ever challenged by hard evidence or god forbid nuance Thadā€™s brain physically cannot take it. He needs to be better, to be worse is unthinkable, and there is no other way to be.
And this status of better or worse is, crucially, not up to Thad to decide. He needs The Authority to validate him. Bart never tries to prove himself because he has nothing to prove. Thadā€™s entire identity hinges on the self-worth he gets from doing a Good Job.
It is such an inherent part of his motives in the Impulse comics canon, which is why it always feels a little off when heā€™s interpreted as a jackass indiscriminately.
Like I don't think he needs everyone to like him. But I do think he has either one person or a set of very particular people that he needs to like him. Everyone else is either in that circle or outside of it.
(Which is why Bart is such a great foil for Thad tbh. There is no set of words or behaviors thatā€™ll change Bartā€™s opinion of Thad, because Bart is unaffected by obedience or charm. So ironically Bart is probably one of few people that Thad doesnā€™t bother to put on even a little bit of an act for.)
While Bart goes with his instincts, his personal beliefs and convictions at all times, Thad is hyper-conscious of big-picture goals. They balance each other out that way. Thad's keeping track of whatever expectations he has placed on him, and how his actions reflect on him and the team beyond short-sighted solutions. He's a team player. AND he's an asshole.
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styxtrixmix Ā· 2 months
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I just realized I never posted fhese
Have some Frequency fan art with a surprise appearance from my OC sprinkled in
@cryptocism
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styxtrixmix Ā· 3 months
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Hi, Iā€™ve been so ill this past few weeks and been hospitalized because of medical concerns. Found out that I have a tumor and it was already malignant. I have a Stage 2A Cervical Cancer and needs help ASAP. šŸ™Thanks & be blessed.
No clue who you are and honestly there's not much I can do to helo
Your page seems legit though, and I didn't want to just leave this in the ask box, so hopefully me just answering this ask helps through word of mouth :(
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styxtrixmix Ā· 3 months
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Hello and sorry for bothering you, but I need to ask if the 'rat vs human' thing you wrote about Thad was meant to be read with the autism goggles on?
Because omg. Omg I was seeing some things there. I even wrote down how i felt about it in the tags: the human vs rat analogy in itsef and how the rats get dissected left with open guts in front of a bunch of human(kid)s who don't care about the rat.
How Thad feels superior to Bart because he 'functions' better than him reads a lot like internalised ableism turned inwards. Like, he's the better of the two because he fits and thinks 'properly' in comparaison to him.
Even the whole thing of wanting to be loved like Bart (Autistic icon), in spite of what you are and maybe even because of it feels so...
Even the line about looking at the human beside all the plotting and lies (this one doesn't feel espscially autistic or even neurodivergent. It's just asking to be humanised which is something that resonates with lots of people but that also emplifies the autistic reading)
I'm also just here to gush about it because you've managed to extract the most gutwrenching loneliness of Thad's arc and inject it in this fix. Op, in the nicest way possible, i want to take a syringe and inject your fic in my brain. Tattoo it in my brain so i may never forget it.
Also, can't believe you're the one who made the Bart vs bartender fanart. This is such a small world lol
Anyway, hope this didn't bother you. Have a nice morning/afternoon/night šŸ‘‹
OMG I COMPLETELY MISSED THIS ASK???? TYSM!!!!
I didn't actually intend for that particular fic to read as autistic, but I myself am autistic and relate a lot to both Thad and Bart so I write them through the lens of my own experience
Thad's story(as well as Bart's) as a whole feels very much like an autistic narrative put through scifi and comic book shenaniganery :3
And also fun fact, the fic was based on a poem I read! Unfortunately, I don't know where that poem is now, but I think I discovered it on TikTok? I have no clue anymore
BUT YEAH TYSM FOR THIS ASK, I love seeing other people's thoughts on my work!!!
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styxtrixmix Ā· 3 months
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Just an art dump, of some pieces I made from Frequency!!šŸ’–šŸ’– @cryptocism
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styxtrixmix Ā· 3 months
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More frequency art!! Iā€™m not going to lie I love three! I know he super evil and stuff, but his character progression is so interesting! And I love a villain you can empathize with while still hating, also I just like drawing himšŸ’–šŸ’– And I had to make some drawings of six with the right colored eyes @cryptocism
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styxtrixmix Ā· 3 months
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I love these dumb little silly gay people in my phone
Don't ask why I draw Six the way I do, I think he deserves to have robot arms slash affection
@cryptocism
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styxtrixmix Ā· 5 months
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styxtrixmix Ā· 5 months
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I don't think she left because she was bored
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styxtrixmix Ā· 6 months
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It's confirmed, the Haiku bot is NOT Ashley
reblog if your name isn't Ashley.
2,121,566 people are notĀ AshleyĀ and counting!
Weā€™ll find you Ashley.
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styxtrixmix Ā· 6 months
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A semi-long rant about Dottore's implied self-hatred, loneliness and inner struggles
I am, like many others, endlessly fascinated by Dottore, which means that I've been sucking the game dry for any Dottore content I can find; I've watched the dialogue between him and Nahida numerous times, read the "Zandik's Legacy" notes over and over and even the description of the "Wise Doctor's Pinion" from the Pale Flame artifact set. So much has already been said about him, but I'd like to offer my own two cents about an aspect of his character that is often ignored in favor of his villainy: Dottore's inner struggles.
I'll recount everything that I've gathered and tell you of my interpretation of Dottore's character.
To start, one thing that I never see people mention is a line from Nahida's retelling of the Tatarasuna incident. In the very beginning of the cutscene, we see a monster covered in light blue fur (obviously Dottore) who Nahida describes in a very interesting way. She says:
"Once in a while, the monster would take off its fox fur at night, and lament to itself as it gazed at its reflection in the water: "I am a monstrosity, yet they are too foolish to see it. I pity them."
Of course, it's easy to say that this is just a fairy tale Nahida created to preserve Scaramouche's memories and that this could've been made up - which is only half true! We must remember that Nahida has seen Dottore's consciousness. She already knew of the arguments between his Segments when Dottore confronted her to take the Electro and Dendro gnoses. Why do I bring this specific line up, though?
Because this line outright tells us that: 1) Dottore spent sleepless nights in Tatarasuna reflecting on himself; 2) That he, perhaps sincerely, pitied the people of Tatarasuna for not seeing past his facade.
I also think that the use of the word 'lament' is very interesting. To lament means to express sorrow and regret for something. I would think that this implies Dottore feeling remorseful for not just who he was, but what he would do to Tatarasuna. To provide further proof, I think it is important to look at the expression on the furry monster's face (as Nahida portrays it) when it laments to itself:
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(What a cute little thing.)
It looks a bit... upset, doesn't it? Like it is mad at itself as it gazes into the water. This expression, combined with his thoughts and the use of the word 'lament' gives us a clear sign that many ignored: Dottore isn't as shallow of a villain as we thought.
Later in the cutscene, Nahida says:
"But the monster soon found solace when another came to live among the foxes who was not their kin: a kitten, carved from the wood of a white tree, who had been abandoned by the humans."
And in that moment, we see a wide-eyed little monster gazing at the kitten:
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(Feels really silly to use this as an example but you've gotta trust the process)
Here, Dottore found someone like himself. An outcast, a creature that did not quite fit in with the ordinary humans - someone who could understand Dottore's loneliness and ostracization. After getting chased out of his hometown for his blasphemous ideas, after getting expelled from the Akademiya and possibly exiled to Aaru Village for his heretical views - Dottore had finally found someone to whom he could say: "See? They will never accept us. It is you and I against them, for they will never understand us."
What person wouldn't seek companionship, after all?
But things didn't turn out the way Dottore expected them to. Unlike Dottore, Scaramouche didn't need to hide his true identity in order to be accepted by the people of Tatarasuna. Thus, the following happened:
"Furious at this happy resolution, the monster lit a fire on the mountain. The terrified animals panicked as the fire spread..."
... and we know the rest. What matters is this: Dottore was angry and jealous of Scaramouche. Exiled from his hometown, rejected by his peers, insulted and looked down upon just for wanting to destroy the imbalance between Man and God - and along comes a puppet, a creation of the Raiden Shogun, who receives acceptance and guidance from the people of Tatarasuna. Not just that, but the only creature who could share Dottore's loneliness is whisked away from him, proving once again that Dottore will never know what it means to have a true companion.
Thus he tricked Scaramouche into believing that Niwa had betrayed them, had him join the Fatui and later used him as the blueprint for the creation of his Segments. Dottore basically ruined Scaramouche's life out of bitter jealousy.
That should be it about Tatarasuna for now. What I'd like to focus on next is the conversation between Dottore and Nahida in the 3.2 Archon Quest.
There are a few lines that interest me, so I'll go over them one by one.
Dottore uses a lot of big words to sound like he's saying something profound when in reality he's saying nothing at all (a nice callback to his Commedia Dell'arte counterpart), but there is one thing that both he and Nahida place great emphasis on: the fact that Dottore, smart as he is, cannot make peace with himself.
First to say it is Dottore. After asking Nahida for her opinion on his Segments, he says:
"Indeed. It's difficult for humans... to make peace with themselves, not to mention oneself from a different period."
The line still feels out of place. It sounds as if he is musing to himself.
Again, we get a line about his Segments, after Nahida asked him to erase them:
"You were observing me, and that's how you know I've long grown tired of their doubts and endless arguments."
I think it's safe to assume that the arguing is a metaphor for his struggle of self-acceptance. It seems every Segment has something to say to the others, but more on that later.
Nahida uses Dottore's own words against him:
"Like you said, it's difficult to make peace with yourself. Being as smart as you are, have you managed to do that?"
It's important to note that Dottore doesn't answer that question, but even without that, it's obvious to us, the players - of course Dottore hasn't managed to do that.
Whenever Nahida questions the relationship between his Segments, Dottore easily changes the subject. For example:
"Is the relationship between all the versions of you really that bad?"
"I don't think there's any need to dwell on that. The surplus versions of me can be exchanged for a Gnosis. Do you think anyone can offer themselves at a higher price?"
His Segments all argue constantly. When considered that they are replicas of Dottore at different stages of his life, this takes on an entirely new meaning - beyond his facade, Dottore is a man who can barely make out who he is.
Consider this also: in "A Winter Night's Lazzo", Columbina tells him, "You're looking very young today, Doctor."
To which Dottore replies, "You know very well that I do not take that as a compliment."
A piece of dialogue that had been brushed off by many, myself included - until I realized what this might imply. Dottore finds Columbina's comment insulting because he hates who he is. He hates the younger versions of himself because they represent a Dottore who didn't have the knowledge he has at this current stage of his life. They weren't as smart, as knowledgeable. But that's not really the full extent of it, of course.
Dottore was never fully accepted by anyone, this we have established. In the Akademiya, the students called him a 'madman', a 'monster' (as said in the Wise Doctor's Pinion). When we meet him in the 3.1 Archon Quest, he is referred to as 'The Outcast'. He is always being alienated, but could we assume that he just accepted this rejection and decided to embrace the titles people had thrown at him? This is just... very bold speculation, of course. It is impossible to deny that Dottore didn't always naturally stand out due to his heretical views, but I think it's worth considering that he could have just chosen to be the monster people thought of him as. After all, in the confrontation between him and Niwa, Dottore tells Niwa to think of him as a monster and a demon (for a reason that was... meant to be comforting? Not very important right now).
Consider also how different all the Segments sounded when they found out that they were being erased. All of the voices, along with their manner of speech, varied greatly; I interpreted this as proof of the many masks Dottore has worn over the course of his life. Dottore abandoned whatever humanity he had and decided to embrace the mask of a monster, constantly reinventing himself because he isn't secure in his identity - perhaps he doesn't have one at all. He is a scholar, a Harbinger, a researcher - but without those titles, what is left? What is he left with when he sheds those facades? The constant dodging of Nahida's questions about his Segments, the arguments and the worries of said Segments, the introspection in the cutscene about the Tatarasuna incident - indeed, Dottore is a man filled with self-hatred. A lonely outcast who has never known the comfort of kinship. A monster who swallowed his loneliness and dedicated his life to research.
That should be it, I suppose. My brain is fried and if I remember anything that I might have missed, I'll add that info later.
I want to mention one thing: this doesn't mean Dottore is a misunderstood good guy - doesn't take a genius to know that that is not true. Dottore has no regard for human life (which is ironic, considering how he believes humans have great potential and he wants them to be equal with the Gods). He has hurt so many and I'm sure he will continue to do so. He is evil, but it should be noted that he was once just an ordinary human, too. There must be an explanation for why he is the way he is. It's easy to paint him as just a monster because damn he's good at what he does; but I like to think that there is a layer to him that we just haven't fully seen yet. I'm excited to find out more about him when Snezhnaya gets released in like 2 years... ha. If you've read this far, thank you a lot! Curious to know what you guys think. I love Dottore
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styxtrixmix Ā· 6 months
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Don't stop talking about them. We need to be their voice.
Inspired by the amazing poem by dana
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styxtrixmix Ā· 7 months
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Thads tier lists (please help I'm insane)
@cryptocism
Listening to a sad song
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Halloween costumes
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Sports
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Playing Monopoly
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Playing Snakes and Ladders
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Playing DC Deckbuilders
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Dealing with mosquitoes
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Murder mystery
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Preferred literature genres
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Preferred musicals
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styxtrixmix Ā· 7 months
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Saving this for later.
maybe if I keep telling the story, it will never have to end. that way I can keep you alive. If the story lasts forever, so will you. yes, you die in the end. yes I am the only one who remembers. yes I am the only one who knows. But if I never say it aloud, maybe you won't die. maybe this time orpheus won't turn around. maybe peter won't deny him. maybe when I reach the end, you will have had time to come up with a clever solution and escape. maybe this time we survive it together. and the next time, you can tell this story with me. maybe everyone survives and we don't have to tell the story at all. maybe they don't. if I never finish, I'll never have to know. let me speak for a little bit longer. let me live in a world that you are also in for just a moment more. sometimes your memory feels like a noose. I'm sorry. I'm not ready for you to die
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styxtrixmix Ā· 7 months
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He's like.. REALLY nice now. Trust
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WOULD Five still love Three if he was a worm?
@cryptocism
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styxtrixmix Ā· 7 months
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help im in hell
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