#💙♾️

[genderqueer-karma]

because i won’t get a chance to show y’all this later after i send it off, here’s the doodle page i’m putting in my letter for mana

#yo it's d :) #💙♾️ #i’m also doing a large drawing as well #but i figured a little doodle page would be nice #i would send him a gift of some kind but a) i’m poor and b) this is more personal #i probably will send him another letter/package in the future though! #anyway i’m proud of this actually #i feel accomplished #though now my nerves are high thinking about it

[pocket-poly]

Past Trauma Revel & Working On

After talking to my therapist...

Then to My bestie, then talking with my sister face to face about how she remembered being treated as a child when sick (w/o unpacking my own shit first) And back to the therapist.

I realized I have trauma around being sick.

I have 3 major autoimmune conditions which would individuality qualify me as disabled. BUT I HAVE TRAUMA AROUND BEING SICK??? I've been sick almost my whole life. How am I just now learning this?

I carry huge guilt and overcompensation for being a parent, partner, wife, daughter, sister and friend.

So.... when my Boyfriend showed up, knowing I wasn't in a good place, crawled into my bed with me 2wks ago and held me softly rubbing my back and holding me kinda broke my brain I wanted to know why at 37 y.o this was one of my first experiences with this kind of empathy and compassion.

But I'm married, with kids, and have been poly for years.... how am I just now getting to experience this?

Growing up Needs meant high maintenance

That meant I was the problem

Being sick we (sis & i) were left alone and never comforted, quarantined, often hungry, and in trouble for being sick. And if we made a mess while sick we had to clean it up.

Now I've been with hubby 21 years this month and we found out 2.5 years ago he has autism. When he is sick he WANTS to be left completely alone. When I am sick he struggles with how to take "care" of me and often was busy trying to fill my shoes with our 3 kids and not get sick as our primary income with NO PTO. So in crisis mode, we managed. I also still felt having needs made me high-maintenance and a problem (still un learning)

So here I am. Almost to my 40s.... dating someone... who goes to therapy themselves, and showing up for me. In ways that lead me to find roots to my trauma to help me heal. TEACHING me that I'm worthy of receiving the love and effort and energy I give to others.

It took me 2 years to accept my besties hubby makes me from scratch, this amazing creamy chicken soup for when I'm having my airway surgeries or another hospital treatment.. (see the photo of soup for surgery the 23rd)

My last partner would call "im at the store by you do you need anything" and that was earth-shattering effort to me then!

Up until June 2022, My father and sister lived with me and my family. They didn't have caregiving and compassion in them.... well because I AM THE CYCLE BREAKER And yet HERE I am....floored by how people in my life, In the tribe and village I have created...that love me... are showing up for me and this is COMPLETELY still rocking my world and blows my mind.

If you read through this thank you... for following me on this wild journey. Healing is messy but man is it worth the work.

#healthy after trauma #old scars #healing #mental health #showing up #polyamorous #polyamourous #boyfriend #💙♾️ #💙 #broken family

[lesbxdyke]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

Spending time with @commienumber-fucker , @demisexualemmaswan , @snowsisterskiss & my husband (not all together but spending time with any of them makes me very very very happy!!!)

Playing FFXIV! Especially if it means I get to see my boy, my little lord Alphinaud! (Quick plug for my XIV blog over at @littlelordalphinaud !)

My blanket nest! I have so many blankies and I love nesting in them to sleep!

Food at this little cafe in my town. They do really good soup and panini's and if I could get myself there every day I wouldn't eat anywhere else!!!

Creating characters with my brothers ( @steelshard (baby brother) & @instantbee (older brother)) ESPECIALLY because they both enable me in my angst goblin ways!

Bonus one!

-Thinking about my Selfship with 🔪 & daydreaming about her~!

#personal #my life is so full of love and people that make it better! #💙💜💙💜💙💜 #🐝🐝 #🌸🏳️‍⚧️♾️ #husbandtag #🪷🔪

[dedeashor]

أنتَ الوجودُ وكلُّ الناسِ أكوانُ .♾️💙

#blue 💙 #butterfly #♾️🦋

[maurosempre]

“L'amore è vivere duemila sogni

fino al bacio sublime.”

(Alda Merini)

#💙☯️💋♾️💙

[llegolilz3us]

✨💎🌈

#diamond eyes ✨💎 #🌈♾️🇩🇴 #🏦💙 #🔮 #👼🏾 #🛡️🛡️🛡️

[silly0]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!🏳️‍🌈

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!🏳️‍🌈

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!🏳️‍🌈

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!🏳️‍🌈

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!🏳️‍🌈

#happy pride 🌈 #happy pride month #happy pride 🏳️‍🌈 #🏳️‍🌈pride #lgbt 🏳️‍🌈 #🏳️‍🌈 #🏳️‍⚧️ #trans 🏳️‍⚧️ #💛🤍💜🖤 #💙💖🤍💖💙 #❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 #🧡💛🤍💙 #♾️🌈 #🦋🌈

[pineapplefloods]

American old men hate me for being conservative, for having morals.

But when did they even take care of their own women?

Once presumed Rebecca’s arguing with Stephanie incest bryant?

She’s not. And yeah, we all see many things. And yeah, I generally think Stephanie’s a nasty ass.

But she’s your American nasty ass. You let her fall into narcissism and stupidity. Into hatred.

— my essence my healing.

Others want to “relive” your trauma for show. Aesthetic. Fake journeys.

Jessicas ouch. Many, many Americans ouch.

White people… then dudes call them crazy.

Well. It’s not that it’s crazy but it needs to be addressed.

#old men from USA #patriotic #Stephanie bones bryant #nick meador #my essence #my essence my healing💙♾️💗 #weird tag #my journey my essence

[headphones-lifeform]

Tumblr in the Star Trek universe [dashboard simulator]

🍜wet-spaghetti Follow

cute date ideas for this Valentine's Day: bring your significant other back from the dead with an ancient Vulcan ritual <3 <3 <3

♾️bisexualsurak Follow

this is illogical

💙andor-endorphins Follow

#get wrecked lol #op is right that is a cute date idea

581 notes

🌍just-human-things Follow

reblog if you kinda want a borg to step on you

#tw borg

271 notes

🖖saaviik Follow

I just found out this website has several "stan accounts" of my teacher Mr. Spock. Why are you like this

📷daily-spock-pics Follow

in our defence, your teacher is hot

🖖saaviik

I do not understand how his temperature is related to the topic

🚀starfleetheritageposts Follow

starfleet heritage post ( 8130.3 / 22 March 2285)

#starfleet heritage post #20k

23.9k notes

🍁mars-colony-sketchbook21 Follow

some hand drawing practice

🍁mars-colony-sketchbook21

hello vulcanblr

#my art #posts that got surprisingly popular

327 notes

✨replicatedstardust Follow

going on a diplomatic mission and the ENTERPRISE is transporting us?? CANNOT believe I am on the flagship right now, like when have I done anything noteworthy

✨replicatedstardust

update: we got kidnapped by a Q

#travel blog #please help

11 notes

💖klingon-affirmations Follow

KLINGONS WITH SMALL FOREHEAD RIDGES ARE HONOURABLE KLINGONS WITH LARGE FOREHEAD RIDGES ARE HONOURABLE KLINGONS WITH NO FOREHEAD RIDGES ARE HONOURABLE

#klingon affiramtions #positivity #positive affirmation #you are beautiful and honourable

45 notes

#dashboard simulator #unreality #fake tumblr dash #star trek #zohar illogic time

[cassettepony]

crush'd 🎈💙♾️

#mlp #pinkie pie #mane 6 #mlp omniship #myart

[genderqueer-karma]

random new gifs after 50000 years

(under read more ->)

コラボ企画「Mana様がYURAサマをMoi-même-Moitiéコーディネートしてみた」

「Sanctuary of Roses～眠る薔薇 紺碧の聖域～」完全版

Moi-même-Moitié 20thAnniversary 企画　Super Dollfie × Moi-même-Moitié Collaboration　オーナー様限定 夜会 in 天使の窓

Moi dix Mois - Mana-sama birthday ~nuit bleue~

Kiko Kikaku special program with Mana sama and Mariko Suzuki

Moi dix Mois - Dix infernal ~Scars of Sabbath~ (remastered)

【キャンプ】Mana様 x Seth(美良 政次 Miyoshi Seiji)光射す森での料理体験 Cooking in the sunny woods and a time of bliss

~*~

(+ a bonus juka spin bc i love it soooo much)

what i listened to

shit u not i actually listened to this. i'm not meming rn.

i also listened to the 1994 album dookie by green day. has no bearing on the vibes, i just listened to it bc i wanted to cry to coming clean.

#yo it's d :) #💙♾️ #mana sama #moi dix mois #i’ve been watching a lot more strange aeons recently. good background noise 👍👍👍 #also bc the second gif was ‘too big’ it’s now half-sized #hashtag cringe #anyway swag #also on that second 'what i listened to' link really i listened to the whole album but shhh. #also if you're wondering why the 2nd to last gif is worse quality (10000x crunchier) than the others: #it's bc this website hates me and my sexy big high quality gifs and that one's like 10s long #EVEN THOUGH I'VE MADE LONGER AND HIGHER QUALITY GIFS THAN THAT BEFORE ??????? #fuck this website #also nobody be mean to me about these. i am sensitive and will cry. live on tumblr dot com account. #this is my 11000th post btw. congrats to me.

[pocket-poly]

#💙♾️

[margareth-lv]

♾️💙 The Secret of Eternal Love 💙♾️

I couldn't resist making this comparison. It was stronger than me.

2013 against 2023.

You look at them and see that they have found the secret of eternal youth. ... of eternal love?

🫶🏻 And you smile at your own thoughts.

[January 26, 2024]

[34-gulse]

İftardan sonra gelen kahvem, im mis

"Aşk ; iki kişinin sokak kavgasına benzer,

Çünkü ayıran hep bir yabancıdır..!

Der; Özdemir Asaf...

💙🦋♾️💦🥀

Güzel gönüllere selam olsun..🌼

[kierantierney3]

Jude bellingham/Matching outfits

Summary: To ‘soft launch’ your relationship you guys post matching outfits on social media.

Btw: There is no face claim it’s just random people who i found wearing similar clothing.

Masterlist

———-

judebellingham

liked by cheadams, yourusername and 231,940 others

judebellingham Ain’t no place like home. My club. Thank you Bluenoses! 💙 @bcfc

view all comments

user Come back pls

user come to real madrid Liverpool are awful

cheadams 🔥🔥

yourusername Pls stay

yourusername

liked by judebellingham and 10,829 others

yourusername Black fit vibe today 🖤

view all comments

judebellingham Jacket look similar

user LOVE LOVE LOVEEE

judebellingham

liked by declanrice, masonmount and 2,384,092 others

judebellingham First experience of that UCL magic at the Bernabéu unbelievable.

view all comments

user What a player

bukayosaka87 ⭐️

user Worth the price tag 🏷️

yourusername

liked by judebellingham, yourfriend and 21,949 others

yourusername Champions league nights

view all comments

user I never knew you were a real madrid fan? that’s so cool

user Girl got to see Jude Bellingham in real life 🥲

judebellingham Good choice of team 😏

judebellingham

liked by jobebellingham, kalvinphillips and 1,830,028 others

judebellingham Family ❤️

view all comments

user Both look the same

user Family first

user LOVE YOU BUT WISH YOU SIGNED FOR LIVERPOOL

yourusername

liked by judebellingham, and 29,910 others

yourusername Some behind the scenes of some recent stuff.

view all comments

user roses? from who?

⤷ My boyfriend 😉😉

user hmmmmmmm lots of similar outfits to a certain Jude Bellingham?

⤷ 🤐🤐

yourusername

liked by judebellingham and 54,810 others

tagged judebellingham

yourusername I love to match ❤️

view all comments

judebellingham Forever ♾️

user This is so cute

user If i future relationship ain’t like the i don’t want one.

———

All pictures were found from either instagram or pinterest (my real love).

Could be done better but that’s ok. Also the timeline doesn’t work but that’s okay.

#football #football imagine #football imagines #footballers #footballer #football x reader #jude bellingham imagines #instagram au #football fanfic #insta au #jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #la liga #real madrid #instagram #insta

[trentlife]

WILD ADVENTURE

part 1

masterlist

instagram au ~ jude bellingham

authors note: mini series of jude and y/n becoming parents for the first time! ive had this requested a lot since my last au, i hope you all enjoy 💕

liked by mollymae, trentarnold66 and 1,859,294 others

yourusername 🫶🏼 ☁️ 🥀 ...

view comments

realmadrid congratulations 👶🏼❤️

vinijr ❤️❤️

trentarnold66 this is why you couldn't hang out a few months ago

↳ madders no need to expose him like that

mollymae going to be the best mummy 🫶🏼

reece big love 🫶🏽👶🏽

kyliejenner 🥹🥹🥹🥹

yourmum 😍❤️💞🩵

gioreyna my bro becoming a dad 🥳

shaliimaar parabéns 💕🩵

jackgrealish congratulations bro ❤️

yourbsf cant wait to meet my nephew / niece 🫶🏼

yourusername

liked by jadethirwall, judebellingham and 586,924 others

yourusername here there everywhere 💗 📖 🥑

view comments

user284 she's so vibesss

jadethirwall oh this is vibelicious

juliavigas gorgeous!

hattiebourn I love this! 🫶🏼

user173 i think it's a boy

↳ user396 me too

kennedyalexa mummy club 🩷💅🏼🤪

minabonino beautiful 💗🩵

user597 adorable

mikkykiemeney i love this 🥹 cannot wait to see your buba 🫶🏼

↳ yourusername twins! yours too babe😭👶🏼👶🏽💘

mykonos, greece

liked by yourusername, erling.haaland and 2,693,596 others

judebellingham recharging ☀️ 👩🏽‍❤️‍👨🏽 🇬🇷

view comments

user148 their relationship is so perfect

yourusername my baby daddy 😍

↳ judebellingham forever

↳ jobebellingham chillllllll

↳ user496 lmaooo jobe

denbello my favourites ❤️❤️❤️

user285 the last picture 🥹

aaronramsdale yesirrrrr

tobybishay all love 🫶🏼❤️

user973 that should be me and jude

bukayosaka87 greece boyaaa😍

user496 i hope y/n knows how lucky she is for this man to be her boyfriend

↳ yourusername honey i know x

↳ user173 ~ yourusername LOL

yourusername

liked by kendaljenner, paigemilian and 1,394,938 others

yourusername doing life with each other forever ♾️

view comments

loredana adorable, missing you both 🥰

↳ yourusername miss you so much angel 🖤

user186 the flowers! is it a girl?

user475 hand placement

anouskasantos dreamy💘

trentarnold66 ask jude we're my flowers are

↳ yourusername note passed on!

↳ user496 trentarnold66 😭🤣🤣🤣

mayajama you two 🥹😘

szoboszlaidominik 😎

user697 the flowersssss are perfect

liked by jordanhenderson, sunny_kg and 2,183,284 others

judebellingham water babies

view comments

jordanhenderson 😂😂❤️

sunny_kg can't wait to see you both 🫶🏽

user183 come to barca

↳ user569 💀

declanrice no way you needed support for your back bro 🤣

↳ judebellingham the bump is her cheat code!

user742 azra crying rn

marcusrashford i thought you can't swim

yourusername look at you cheating

user853 i need to know the gender!!!!!

yourusername

liked by judebellingham, shyla and 823,222 others

yourinstagram home time, getting ready for an exciting day 🛩️ 🍒 🥝 🫐

view comments

britneydevilliers 😍💘🫶🏼

↳ yourusername my fave girl💕

sasha__rebecca vibes 🧳🩶

madisonbeer 🥹

minabonino linda mamãe 🤰🏼

↳ user697 fave wags

yourmum cant wait to see you sweetheart 😘

↳ yourusername ly mom <3333

user196 PJ life

user963 omg what day...

↳ 💭

daphnecanizres 😍

yourusername and judebellingham

liked by trentarnold66, rodrygogoes and 3,283,567 others

yourusername we can't wait to meet you son 🩵

view comments

trentarnold66 project jude coming soon, congrats bro ❤️

arianagrande congratulations beautiful girl🥹

user029 i knew it!!!! 🩵🩵🩵

england congrats to you both ❤️

denbello my little boy having a little boy ❤️

rodrygogoes congratulations hermano!

jobebellingham my little nephew 🩵

user183 ahhhhh

camavinga 😍💙

↳ user193 cama oh cama oh

harrykane 🙌🏼

kyliejenner congrats!!

yourbsf can't wait to meet my nephew 🩶

toniruediger congratulations you guys 🫶🏽

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

like & repost to show support!

hope you all enjoyed part one, stay tuned for part two!

#jude bellingham fics #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham #judebellingham stories #jude bellingham au #explore #explorepage #football