#'its all in your head' basically

[leofrith]

novel concept here, perhaps, but i think it would be super nice if the medical community in general started giving a shit about menstrual and other reproductive related pain beyond whether it affects someone's fertility or not. like someone please tell me why the only time my reproductive pain is taken seriously is when it relates to my ability to make a fucking baby, something i have absolutely zero interest in doing. why isn't the fact that i'm in pain reason enough to investigate further. why do i keep being recommended various forms of birth control as a blanket solution for my symptoms that nobody seems to care enough about to even attempt to investigate further. why does every concern i have about my pain get downplayed and swept aside in favour of reassurances about my fertility that i didn't ask for. why have i been running around in circles for more than ten years begging for someone to care enough about my pain to listen to me and do something about it. why.

#good afternoon!! i am mega pissed ❤️ #like i know WHY but. why. #anyway had an doctor appt this morning in which i was told that a lot of my pain is probably anxiety based which. lmao. #'its all in your head' basically #like i don't deny that i have anxiety and it's probably causing me all sorts of body issues #but the fact is that i've had unmanagable period pain as long as i've had periods and a lot longer than my anxiety has been bad #i'm so sick of this shit lmao #every time i go into this doctor's office is so goddamn unpleasant like she's talking about weight loss completely unsolicited #she's downplaying my concerns and i had to practically beg just to be referred for an ultrasound #i feel like im being gaslit every time i go for an appointment but i'm not about to look for another family doctor because there are none #anyway fuck you fuck this eat shit and die about it ❤️❤️ #ky posts text

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 2 - Psyche Skills

Part 1 - Part 3

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #disco elysium #MDZS disco elysium au #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #yu ziyuan #While it's more in vogue to draw a character's skill roster tailored to them - #One of the more subtle details I love in DE is how some of the skill portraits parallel character portraits of people hbd associates with. #Theres somethine rather poetic to be said about how other people shape out thoughts and sometimes act as a 'voice' in our head. #How we are in part a collection of impressions other people left behind on us. #I am a huge Skillhead (Those are my friends! My party members! They love me! They have their own agendas and alliances!) #so of course a healthy portion of this AU is dedicated to them <3 #the Int skills go basically unchanged from DE. Psy as well (with changes to a few quirks in voice). #Fys skills though...well...wwx is in a different body! Those voices belong to Someone Else. #Esp electrochem (MXY in this AU also partied to near death. WWX is withdrawing and craving substances he's never even heard of before) #While I personally don't fully subscribe to Volition Jean I *do* see Volition Jiang Cheng. The voice of your Not Brother keeping you afloat #All three of these parallels make me unbelievably sad. They are also both purple. Art is like that sometimes. #Empathy Jiang Yanli...oh man do I have a lot of thoughts about her. Disco fans Who Know....you can probably see what I'm cooking. #Authority is a really interesting skill in DE because *yes* its about power and intimidation - but it's also about finesse and respect #Titus Hardie and YZY both abuse *and* finesse how they establish their authority - in a way that leaves quite an impression. #2 more mdzs disco posts that I *need* to create and then I'm off to working on raffles <3

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)

#lay rambles #my ocs #oc: liam hawke #oc: lilian hawke #both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it #theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences #with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever #they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key #and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever #hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do #mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself #(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently) #so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc #also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house #(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol) #also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space #he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet #always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like #food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind #and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them #(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc) #lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies) #but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa #dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever #however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults #also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt #not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself #oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages) #also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse) #...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD

[forgetful-river]

Sometimes being in love is like getting your eye gored in a fit of purifying violence, sometimes it's not

#I keep talking about the romance of cannibalism so much my mother has gotten so so so tired of me (my friends are more mixed) #but also she got me to watch The Hunger (1983) which was very fun and very 80s #its about consuming and being consumed!!!!!!!!!!! Eating your loved one because you cannot stand them existing outside of yourself!!!!!!!!! #being eaten because you cannot stand existing outside of your lover!!! Becoming obsessed with literally merging together in the goriest way #basically I cannot stop thinking about Hannibal (2013) #I couldn't figure out how to get Tz's horn to fit with the way I placed their heads and then I realized wough........it would be going righ #in Vris's eye if I keep their heads where they were so I just leaned in bc themes......motifs..........symbolism................ #blinding and being blinded is so central to their narrative ya know #anyway. this is an unhinged amount of tags I hope you had fun reading all of them #vriska serket #terezi pyrope #vrisrezi #homestuck #hs #my art #fantasy blood #religious imagery

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[loud-whistling-yes]

This is going to sound like the world's most brain-rotted thought but passerine by the oh hellos is martlet coded and canary in a coal mine by the crane wives is clover coded

#I KNOW I SOUND LIKE IM LOSING IT BUT HEAR ME OUT #i do not have nearly enough experience to fully unpack the christian context behind passerine BUT #i know for a fact that its about losing your faith in something after seeing the harm done in its name #specifically that one line My palms and fingers still reek of gasoline/From throwing fuel to the fire of that greco-roman dream #look. idk. something something martlet losing faith in the justice from the royal guards #and the guilt after basically marching clover to their own death #all the hopes of the underground lie on the shoulders of a bunch of human children and its the job of the royal guard to fucking kill them #AND CANARY IN A COAL MINE + CLOVER IS SOOOOOOOOO #THE QUESTION OF WHETHER YOUR WORTH SHOULD BE MEASURED WITH THE THINGS YOUVE GIVEN WAY INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU HAVE AND ARE #WOULD CLOVER BE AS IMPORTANT IF IT WERENT FOR THEIR SOUL??? WOULD THEY FORGIVE THEMSELF IF THEY CHOSE TO KEEP THEIR SOUL????? #WOULD A CANARY STILL BE LOVED AFTER IT STOPPED SINGING????????? #also because the When You Break The Surface Without Me line hurts like a bitch #god i havent been so unwell about characters since double life came out this is insane #fuck it yknow what im maintagging this #undertale yellow #clover undertale yellow #martlet undertale yellow #fweeet #if i have to deal with these thoughts in my head so do all of you

[mbat]

okay i love the emotionally stupid gay men as much as the next guy (clearly) but man it was actually so refreshing to hear, explicitly in repeatable words!, that a character loves the other romantically and undeniably.

like, i get whats happening when characters dont say it in words, right? its been the way of doing things for years for reasons, but nowadays its mainly 'the character hasnt realized how they feel yet' or 'theyre in denial of how they feel' or 'they cant find it in them to say it out loud yet' and hey, those are all fine! theyre so super fun and add to the drama and story

but holy shit to actually hear stede be like 'the man i love is ed' (paraphrasing) like got damn and in the first season too??

just. what an absolute treat. didnt realize i wanted that until i got it. thank you.

#our flag means death #ofmd #my post #tropes #sometimes you just need mfs to be like GOT DAMN YOURE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE #and the drama isnt entirely around them just not saying it ajfjsjdjd #i love wwdits and good omens so so so so so much but man #in wwdits its still basically subtext ajfjsjdj like we KNOW but it hasnt been said AT ALL only shown #like we know those bastards are head over heels and painfully stupidly in love and its soo cute but still. not said #and in good omens. ah fuck. those two are so old how can they be this bad at using words JJSBFND #like I GET IT. its so scary to be vulnerable especially like that. and the context! fucked up context #but even during a confession he cant manage to say what he wants and again i get it but oughh #just. to hear 'ive found someone i love. his name is ed.' GO OFF!!!!! YESSSSSS #i love gay old men oh my gosh i want to be a gay old man

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Nina !!

I don't wanna clog your ask box with stupid shit but this is stupid shit but it was also my bday on the thirteenth so shjdjdjs

As a fellow Monster addict ( I got a flat of Monster for my bday and collect the cans I have 30 diff ones so far <3 ) I need to know what Stan's favourite is

And on the less stupid side of things I was also hoping to potentially hear more about Stan's trans journey/Kyle finding out Raven is trans

Also I'm sorry your job has been so stressful lately :(( I hope you have a good day 🧡

- Stan 🧡

hi orange heart stan! <3

it's so good to hear from you, baby.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHSLAY, MY LOVE! i'm sorry i'm a little late, but you know me -- everything i do is fashionably late, darling. ;)

but also!!!!! call your wonderful, lovely ask message stupid shit again!!! see what happens!!! i'm gonna frown So WIDE, i'm gonna look so Upset. i'm going to hold you up to the sun!!! JUST WATCH!!!! >;/

my sweet stannie; you are a gift, a treasure. and your ask memes are a pleasure. i don't find them stupid in any shape or form, be nice. conversely, they are extremely special to me and it's why i put off writing this message for a little while because i wanted to respond to it thoughtfully, seeing as though it's your bday message.

which, *cracks knuckles* to get the ball roooollling.

i can absolutely tell you what monster energy is stan's favorite, but as a bday bonus, bc i wasn't sure which stan you wanted to know about, or if you wanted both: i'll give you both my style's fave monster flavs

and i was going to go into some ravenstan trans lore after that, but i feel like that info should go in it's own ask, yeah? i just don't want it to get cluttered. so if you feel so inclined, would you mind sending me a second anon where i can drop that info? thank you, baby! mwah

but now, w/o further ado...

please enjoy the most Refreshing part of your day <333

for context ( and actually because i got an anon once who wanted to know whether i drink energy drinks ), i don't really know that much about energy drinks/flavors because i don't really drink energy drinks.

i mean okay, i'm not really sure if it counts as an energy drink, but i will chug a guayaki yerba mate like it is the elixir of life. ( also i fully maintain that pep stan drinks the enlightenment flavor and ravenstan drinks the raspberry one -- crunchy eco kings ) my favorite one is the passion terrere one. it's like the only one that doesn't come in a can and only comes in a glass bottle...that ice cold passion terrere mate in the glass...it hits so different than the can...oh my god. so good.

and as far as monsters go, i pretty much only drink pipeline punch bc i'm a pretty pink princess and that's what hot girls drink <3 but other than that i drink black coffee because i am an exhausted teacher girlie, but that's purely for fuel. to be honest, i rarely drink energy drinks just for fun, i only have caffeine to stay upright.

which isn't a great idea...but...i am not a role model....

speaking of:

so i told riley this story the other day, bc i needed to get her brilliant genius girl insight on energy drink flavors because she is the sugar free energy queen ( riley's answer was kyle x ultra strawberry dreams and stan x ultra mango fiesta, which, everyone say thank u riley <3 )

-- also god if you are real, bring back the watermelon lime venom you discontinued, you sick fuck, it was riley's favorite, thank you for giving us lovely orange heart stan, and fuck you very much for making ME, bitch! come on down, king! you won't! why the fuck would you extend my coworkers vacation! fight me, ugly!!!! --

and i was telling her about how i am the chaotic kenny friend, i make really bad, chaotic decisions, have no self preservation, hype and gas up my extremely bad ideas and convince myself i'm big brain, wow.

and...oof. so like 2-3 years ago during finals week, i had a fuck ton of essays and projects due ( i was a very bad student btw which is funny bc i'm a teacher ) and no idea how i was gonna do them, so i had the Brilliant Idea...to buy three Random bang energy drinks...

AND SHOTGUN ALL OF THEM BACK TO BACK LIKE BEER CANS.

ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god, party girl nina. help. crying.

and yknow, i thought this was such a good idea! i was like wow i'm gonna be so awake, i am going to b invincible.

i....was not Invicible. i was...very, very sick. i was like almost catatonic and shaking on the floor of my dorm bathroom, lmao. i had to have my roomate take a picture of me on the floor and text all my teachers what happened, which, thank god they were all really nice and laughed but...i feel like that tells you everything you need to know about me...people who think i'm their hero...i am a fucking idiot.

but!! BUUUUTTT! just for You, baby. i deep dived a lot of forums and read a lot about the flavor profiles and think...i made a pretty accurate assertion of what my kid's energy drink preferences are <3

me: paris hilton pipeline punch bc i am bad as hell ;)

stan the man with the plan: okay, so i think that pep stan is definitely that ultra paradise monster energy. it just seems really crisp, clean, earthy. stan also doesn't really care for sweets or sugar, so it makes sense to me that he would be drinking a zero sugar monster ( kyle is disgusted ) idk the kiwi, lime, cucumber flavor profile just feels like pep stan. please tell me you can see the vision, help.

kyle pile: hmmm...so what i've concluded with my research is that kyle pile probably likes that pacific pipeline monster that seems to taste like fruit punch <3 it has to be the full sugar ones because of his blood sugar and stan does kind of scold kyle for drinking them bc he's not really supposed to and he gets really cracked out ahdslkshd like he's really cute but stan is like oh my god bro you gotta lay down but yeah i think that one or the orange dreamsicle one, which is hilarious because the only foods stmwtp canonically does not like are pickles and artifical orange flavoring...he really loves kp.

raven: soooooo i know that i said pep stan was the mango loco monster energy, BUT RAVENSTAN IS LITERALLY THE MANGO LOCO MONSTER ENERGY LIKE HELLO??? also i feel like he is like those mexican dads that put a little tajin in whatever they're eating and act like they've invented fire heeeeeelp ravenstan is so the dad that cuts u up fruit into little shapes and pus tajin on them and feeds u them when ur sad <333 luv u raven ;-; <3 but yeah i feel like he full on turns it into a raspado its so unserious sometimes theres a shot in there, it's usually the spicy tamarind smirnoff vodka,

...what can i say my man is a visionary and i see it

jersey: oooookaaaaay. so...sigh. for Obvious Reasons, pre and during rm, because of kyle's ed, he only drinks the sugar free monsters. for energy because he's exhausted ( my baby </3 ) but i also do think he thinks they taste good. i think he fucks with that ultra watermelon flavor that just tastes like the most beautiful, delectable, mouth watering liquid watermelon candy ever. i also think he could rock with the strawberry or the peach one sounds dank.

if the watermelon one isn't there it does stress him out, but he has a mental list of what one is next on the tier list, and acts accordingly. its kind of a nice change of pace but...his brain does not think that. however, when kyle is healing, weirdly enough, i think he ACTUALLY LIKES???? those coffee flavored ones??? which is Insane and everyone including tweek points and laughs at him

i hope...that suffices? you're totally welcome to offer me what you think is the right answer: you're the monster expert, after all. but this is what i feel in my heart! i think it feels accurate but, lmk! :')

and also...speaking of my job. UUUUUUGH. thank you baby. :((( i am actually criminally depressed because my fucking HOE-WORKER fucking extended his vacation ONE MORE WEEK! so i have to cover all his shifts for an extra week while he's on vacation. so that means i don't get to watch my testing accommodation kids who i miss very much, i still don't get his kinder reccess shift and literally??? spring break is next week like he couldn't WAIT???? holy fuck i'm Sad. :(

but i will be fine darling. but it's actually why i wanted to see if you could send me another anon so i can use that anon to talk about trans stan journey stuff? i just don't want it to get lost in this post and also, i'm not in great spirits rn and don't want to answer it until i can write something that's not flaming garbage.

but happy late birthday baby, i'm so glad you were born. <333

-uncle nina, monster shot gun queen

p.s. what is your favorite monster energy? :)

#BB IF YOU CALL YOUR MESSAGE STUPID ONE MORE TIME #I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN SO MANY BLANKETS AND FEED YOU SO MANY SNACKS AND BRAID UR HAIR #KNOCK IT AWHFF!!!!!! #you are so loved and this was no stupid at all and i actually had a lot of fun reading all about all the monster flavors #i'm sorry if its not totally accurate i did my best #i'm sorry the green one is so much more pep stan #and the mango loco one is actually raven #like thats just the right answer #ravenstan drinking the mango loco monster w the tajin rim...like he's kind of a genius oh my god #him turning them into a cursed mixed drink is foul tho i just know his head hurts after that #i cant believe i had jersey likes the coffee ones that is so foul #but him drinking the no sugar ones and drinking the candy flavored ones bc he is like 7 years old #theyre so cute lkahdkshd also kyle pile also likes the cherry blade lemonade bang energy that feels right to me #BUT YEAH I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE #TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK HAHA #also sorry i didnt give you the Serious answer in that post but ravens trans journey is really important to me #and i really want to honor that and not rush it or write it when i am in a bad mood...ill make it worth it for you my love #but uuuugh no im in such a bad mood like im actually so frustrated like this is just not fair to me #me n the older kids are starting to kind of be alright but it kind of ebbs and flows like its better somedays and worse others #but they are stuck with just me for another week so were managing tbh my coworker was dad and im mom basically #im more like stepmom and they dont really like me bc ur not my real mom but like at least im nice lmao #but yeah happy birthday baby hope you enjoyed this and i will get you the answers you seek very soon mWAAAAH #also not me shotgunning 3 bang energies and throwing up and having to have my friends email my professors #when i tell you im not a role model i mean that i am a joke i make such bad decisions #live fast die young bad girls do it well

[zevranunderstander]

im all in the "sex scenes can further the plot in really interesting ways" crowd, and i think one thing sex scenes are amazing for is exploring how a specific character handles intimacy and vulnerability and stuff, but so often in video games they just suck so bad and not just for the reason that its awkward to watch 2 animated meshes have clunkily animated sex, but also because they do actually really do nothing for the story because they are usually either just one set of animations that is interchangeably used no matter what character you are romancing or the character you are romancing acts completely different than they usually do, as not to turn off players who are romancing a character for a spicy sex scene

#myposts #also probably for budgeting and animation reasons #but i felt such a strange disconnect between like. flirting with minthara and the actual sex scene #because like. this lady just randomly projects her bsdm fantasies into your head #and just generally talks like you would expect in that type of relationship #and then you sleep with her and its the most vanilla sex ever #and then suddenly she has feelings for you? like that could have been so interesting #if she hides her vulnerability behind the urge to control and dominate everything around her but thats kinda not what happens? #yeah im still on that minthara bullshit #as always this is not about the game of all time dragon age 2 #like when you sleep with fenris for the first time and he realizes that hes not really ready to be that vulnerable around you #and then breaks up with you for THREE YEARS that shit was great. thats what we need more of #or that in origins sleeping with a character usually really boosts your approval w that character #but zevran is basically unbothered by it. even though i will not defend any animated dragon age sex scene they are so awkward

[eebie]

why do peopelt alk about personality types like that

#What if we were all just people!! #cos all that mbti stuff And the extent of a someone's persoanlioty is impossible 2capture #based on a 20 question online test That offers no context/reasoning behind the situations and answers it gives you #it just assumes why you chose those things u did and gives you a generalization that might be wildly inaccurate !!!!!!!!!!!!!! #but just because something is a whole load of baloney doesnt mean it cant be fun ^_^ heehee #it's silly sometimes. 2 see people describing The result i got like.. Ooooh .. they're cold unfeeling Machines... they're Evil genuis.. #and all coprrect Btw but not in the right way!!!!!!!!!!! #im an unfeeling machine the way im always on my grind and dont give a shit! And im an evilgenuis because im sexy and awesome basically #also thats all super minor stuff Personalitytypes shouldnt be 4 letters it should be about 4986534262357e^10 Letters #cos theres so much shit n overlap and basically its pointless To try n fit that into something as simple as that #Thtas like trying 2 put every color paint from every gradient from every hue and shade onto a single palette #simply impossible n you'll get paint all over yourself trying!!!! and the colors will all smudge together #and then you'll ahve to burn your clothes #but NOT if you have fun with it ^_^ #you don't wear a tuxedo while you're painting You wear that silly shit of which itdoesn't matter if it gets paint on it!! a colorful apron #basically trying to put anything in2 a binary In Sincerity is a waste of TIME but it can be fun !!! #NAYWAYS THIS IS STUFF PPL HAVE ALREADY TALKED ABOU IM SURE i just got carried away #*rubs the back of my head *Well.. heh #fuck how do u #do that thing anime boys do #where they do that. that thing i just tried to roleplay as #i forgot how #anyways this is not me being a hater Do whatever the hell u want ^_^ all tha power to u + i love u

[eeunwoo]

.

#hii.. im still not really here a lot re kpop its just not really like the most important thing in my life rn lol #but uh i guess my dog's passing is something i gotta deal on my own entirely. my mom seems pretty much over it without really taking me int #account at all. today shes even sorta like. making odd comments/jokes about it like 'i talk to toto sometimes' because we say this #weird lady on tv talking ab how she talks to deer heads. and i just stared at my mom like deadpan and just looked away #bc what the fuck. and ofc she wouldnt consider its not an ok thing to say . otherwise shes really like trying to make out that im being a #really good kid and taking care of her and her feelings bc shes inventing things in her head about me being extra nice and careful with her #shes like awww youre taking care of me <3 and im like no im actually treating you like you're a total stranger in my house because you #basically are. and anyway. im basically on my own like i always am. i just have to deal with it all alone. as always. which is like fine #its just im extra lonely and alone so <3 ive also been suicidal and really really on the edge. that's your alex update if anyone cares #to be completely honest it's been taking everything in me not to just od right now its all i can think about and i havent felt like it in #years. ive just been sleeping for 12 hours at a time lmao........ anyway yeah thats it? #mrow.org

[driftwooddestiel]

today i was at the shopping centre getting cosplay supplies and i was not with anyone which always is an insanity-inducing experience on its own but the whole time i also had THIS ⬇️

stuck in my head so i was just trying not to have a breakdown in the target change rooms while “partying, partying, NO!” and “we dont have fun :)” played on repeat in my brain

#in case youre wondering why i had it stuck in my head . well basically my studio c obsession has done some interesting things to my youtube #- recommendations #also i shoyld clarify i enjoyed going out and all it was fine and i chose to go out its just a strange experience

[toynbeetile]

if i hypothetically started posting the fanart i have of a book that has zero fandom whatsoever would yall be happy im posting art again or annoyed that its not one of my previously established fandoms

#nagi.txt #its rotters for all wondering... its basically all ive been drawing the past few weeks #easier to draw characters i can come up with designs for in my head #yk? #i casted potion of trans your gender on the main character btw. joey is a girl now #to me ♥️

[ketavinsky]

becoming increasingly attached to merv pumpkinhead and the corinthian as my ship of the year. very attached to them going to the waking world once a year during halloween and embarking on a semi antagonistic bros night out whiskey and cigars and suspenders Intricate Rituals petty bitching date... the sheer potential for snarky banter... and then what if the two fruits sat on the same shelf... on a ledge with a view of the city ahead with a bargain bin bottle of wine... and what if their hands touched. just saying.

#dellete #the corinthian #merv pumpkinhead #tagging bc again. can we think about it #pls can someone write this........... #i have a v clear image of merv complaining about light pollution and all the little kids who wanted to touch his head and talking about #how much the view sucks and the dreaming just looks better on any given night even though theres not really a day or night in the #traditional sense #he should know. he and lucien(ne) Basically Run The Place Anyways #and the corinthian laughing it off #ok buddy. if youre scared of children just say that #theyre 3 feet tall but if theyre keeping you from appreciating the sights and g #and the sounds just say that #yes i know its bad wine. its a tradition actually merv. yeah it is. dont you feel wild and free and unfettered by expense and duty #heated ironic debate over cheap real wine vs a dreamt classified bordeaux #anyways. im gonna stop now

[krispiecake]

uk moots idk if youve seen the rishi sunak school guidelines shit but. like it was already so bad like its been getting worse and worse for years now and somehow it just. like i dont think ive heard someone say something so obviously VILE about the equality act.. ever. i know its not all official yet like it was a proposed speech but i do not see this being scrapped not with the people in control rn. this is gonna kill lgbt kids especially trans kids and i feel so fucking helpless again.

#in fucking pride month too. i feel stupid and helpless. #i want to be a teacher too. i wanna make school safe for kids like me and the idea of having to follow #these fucking human rights abuses of guidelines makes me feel physically nauseous #how am i ever meant to work in education? how am i meant to be a teacher if my basic rights are encouraged to be ignored. #am i meant to put up with misgendering and disrespect every day until it kills me? until something even worse happens? #how are you meant to protect vulnerable kids when your told to hand them over to potential abuse violence homelessness or even death #conversion therapy is still legal here too. #they keep saying theyre banning it but its been 5ys since they said that and still NOTHING. #not only does it mean outing kids to their families #but it also means that they will not be protected from transphobic abuse and harassment from teachers or students. #teachers dont have to and are told not to respect any name pronoun or gender changes #if the parents dont approve #and even then teachers and other students alike will not have to respect them anyway ‘if they dont want to #you know. the shit that has been proven to fucking kill trans youth. #they wanna gut lgbt sex ed too. like probably all of it. the stuff thats been put forward from stonewall (our main lgbt charity here) #i just. i feel so fucking small. #rishi sunak and every single tory needs their head beat in with a cricket bat i literally do not fucking care. #transphobia tw #homophobia tw

[moonlitlex]

based on the dms i just got i am starting to believe the vote blue no matter who thing this time around is actually a psyop

#alexis.exe #i just got called a zionist sympathizer for saying i think genocide is bad....... #so like thats either an extremely stupid person #or theyre doing this on purpose #also for legal purposes im not accusing like any actual people of anything #i love (read: hate) how people are trying to drag everyone with even an ounce of morals #kicking and screaming into the far right #dont kill people isnt even radical or controversial statement its literally just basic morals #also @ dems yall NEED a better argument than 'but trump will be worse' #youre literally proving right now that dems literally dont even need to do anything even remotely reasonable ever #dems can literally do the exact same things that reps will do but less and yall will come screaming and crying #into unrelated random peoples dms #begging people to vote for them anyway bc they're not as bad as they could be #do you remember 4 years ago when the promise was #guys vote biden for damage control and then we'll make the democrats more progressive over time #genuinely astounding that someone decided to come into my dms and yell at me for saying its not insane to not want to vote for genocide joe #instead of like. trying to bully genocide joe into not funding genocide anymore #if all of you put your heads together and bullied him maybe he would have fucking stopped sending them #billions of dollars of funds and weapons by now. did you think about that. no the fuck you didnt