#( voicing affection is hard! )

[sawg-the-saw-blog]

had to fix something with my tickets tonight at @sawthemusical & the guy at the window straight up asked if we'd rather be in the front row! In the blood splash zone! FUCK YEAH!

we were then informed that the guy at the window was Cooper Jordan. thanks, Coop ✌🏽😎

#saw the musical #IT WAS SO GOOD #i was laughing so hard #also Gabrielle looked at me when she was singing sometimes and i got starstruck #also i was asked if i was an Adam truther #HE'S ALIVE #best night ever #and also the actor playing Gordon was committing to EVERYTHING so well #the sheer sensuality of it all... bisexual rights #also also also adam is so fucking funny #also also also also the breaking-american-accent-to-be-british affect that Gordon's actor did... #immaculate. #AND ADAM (who played adam) DID THE LEIGH WHANNEL WHINE SO PERFECTLY while making it his own #mine #fave #YIPPE #🪚 🤡 teehee hee hee! 🪚 hohoho #we didn't get any blood on us though 😔 i was really hoping for it #creator of saw the musical voice: ya wanna buy one of these lil squeaky pigs? #dude was pretty chill thanks man

[my-current-obsession]

My hyper-specific type when it comes to otome guys:

- Absolutely pathetic - Cannot speak to a girl normally to save his life - Tries to be calm/aloof, but turns tsundere when flustered enough - A good and pure man at heart, yet does some questionable things - ...Little Red Riding Hood???

#heart fragment #taisho x alice #otome #doofenshmirtz voice: if i had a nickel for every time i fell in love with a video game guy heavily associated to little red riding hood... #..i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice! #i made this post basically as a way to announce i played heart fragment recently. and uh. it's REALLY GOOD #i probably do love clive the most (and i was immediately interested/biased considering his similarities to Red) but... #the rest of the cast is great too! I ADORE shannon and i am beyond ready to figure out what jasper's deal is #and honestly i'm into the mystery and the strained family relationship aspects too. just great writing all around even beyond the romances #this is one of Those Games that messes with you and the more you play it the more it sneaks new creepy stuff in #whatever the hell is going on with inigo in the dreams is unsettling. and i love it. #but seriously i'd recommend this to any otome fan and ESPECIALLY taiali fans considering the similarities go far beyond just this #you like fairy tales? you like exploring psychological issues and trauma? this is the game for you #also you can date guys AND girls which is a rare treat! again - i LOVE shannon. i just... love clive even more #but to be fair i think the hangup is that no matter what you're very close and friendly with shannon #so even if you don't romance her you still have a great relationship with her regardless #meanwhile with clive he's starting as a stranger and you basically have to be a jerk to him or blow him off which hurts my heart #and also clive seems to fall kind of fast and hard for you so the relationship developing in a romantic direction just feels. right IMO #i can accept being just besties with shannon (even though I definitely still love her romance outcomes) #but it pains me to spurn clive's affections #on an unrelated note i do intend to post my thoughts (basically a review) of winter's wish: spirits of edo #but i want to finish getting the sorrow endings for CGs and lore which means a second run through several routes

[subsequentibis]

i'm just a tmbg blog now i think. for the love of god watch this.

#video #they might be giants #utterly obsessed with the crooning opening. flansburgh affecting a very lovely gentle sort of voice which has me weak at the knees #IMMEDIATELY followed up by THE STIIIIIIIIIIIICK #and lie still little bottle which genuinely is one of the sexiest vocal performances from him i think #<- statements said by a normal man who is well adjusted. #i love when linnell flubs the elements in why does the sun shine it's one of my favorite things abt live performances #estrogen. and wood. #i think there's one later where he goes 'estrogen estrogen estrogen and MORE estrogen' which. yeah #love also that flans says 'this a performance space not a rock club we're not gonna go too hard' #and then immediately goes 'no that's too slow' and starts SLAMMIN IT #his little shimmy on twisting time. cute #kinda need him!!!!!!!! #Youtube

[baejax-the-great]

47, 30, 44, and 26 (if you have them)! :)

47. What are the last three books you read?

"Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI" by David Grann. This is a nonfiction book about a truly horrific period of history in Oklahoma. It's a good read in that I cannot believe I never learned about this in school but wow am I depressed now.

"Ancillary Sword" by Ann Leckie. Second in a trilogy that I am really enjoying and recommend heartily.

"The Empress of Salt and Fortune." Short enough to be considered a novella, I think. It's an interesting and quirky little story beautifully told.

30. How many books do you have on your 'currently-reading' list?

Three. A history book about Ajax the Greater, Gilgamesh, and "The Vanishing Half" by Brit Bennett.

44. The book(s) whose stories have become part of your very makeup.

100 years of Solitude, ROTE, Probably Lioness Rampant from when I was a child lmao, and Discworld, The Iliad...

The very first Discworld book I read was Small Gods when I was like 12. I don't remember much of the plot, but I have always remembered Bilius, the god of hangovers. Coming down with chronic migraines, I suddenly related so hard to this character I had read about 15 years prior, and I think about him often. You and me both, Bilius.

26. Favorite novella(s).

I can only think of two that I've read off the top of my head--Candide by Voltaire and The Empress of Salt and Fortune, mentioned above. I recommend them both, though I don't think either counts as a favorite story.

#how do determine which books changed me #honestly I could list a bunch more #the good women of china hidden voices #snow crash probably affected me for years and who knows how much of that is still written in my brain #same with catch 22 #and a fine balance by rohinton mistry affected me for months and months and I'm afraid to go back and read it #and find it doesn't hit as hard as it did back then

[themagical1sa]

"i like you and i blame you for making me feel this way" he said

i still think about it

#isa and the y/n experience #isa go to sleep challenge #except i Can't because i am going through a story arc for real right now #his squish for me evolved into a crush i think #like. romantic interest and alladat jazz. the whole shebang #i feel like this has been a long time coming and whatever happened last sunday was just his tipping point #i didn't want to assume anything (God. me and this specific sentence. I think we've found the theme for the story /j) so i just #let things happen first because i needed to be Certain (this mfing word too. guys I've figured out the plot theme /j) #im ngl i had an anxious voice in my brain going 'don't fall in love with me' for the past several months #but now that i'm dissecting it... there's a lot going on with why i had that string of thought #i'm very hyperaware of the dynamics shifting over time (especoally rn when i'm not enrolled for this semester) #not to mention my thing for crushie which has added conflict on top of the dynamics shift #we haven't interacted very much but i still have affection for him... yet on the other hand squishie's squishing me so hard i'm a crush now #the dynamics have changed #and then there's squishie's backstory that i will never detail so long story short: he's been on the receiving end of toxic relationships #and i've managed to become a major turning point that made him realize that he can be happy again #i've got a lot on my mind can u tell HAHA #i'm thinkin' abt alladis on top of wanting to be more objectively productive with my time off college AAAAAAAA #this wattpad fanfic shoujo manga webtoon morning romcom disney aitcom is getting too real @_@ #shoutout to my besties especially seraph who contributed to that label #my life has never been the same since the moment classmate bestie clocked me as a living wattpad fanfic back in january 24 #augh #anyway. i'm gonna... try to brainrot abt something else HAHA #shoutout to hug anon #if u're still here: bestie a lot of things have happened since u were last here #they were one of the og crushie/isa supporters from tumblr HAHA

[ascel-vibes]

aUGh- being dealt 10000 damage from a gen|der|bent poll i voted on....... *despair emote holding head in hands*

#vent #<<< tagging just in case- but nothing serious on a personal level #long tags #ascelchat #(for clarification before i delve into tag rambles- this is about the internet gen|der|bend trope-) #(not to be confused with trans headcanons- which are cool and awesome) #(anywho anywho-) #damage is mainly from finding out the op had to turn off reblogs/comments due to threats and anon hate 😬 #apparently from ppl in favor of it h #to anyone curious on my take and/or know the poll im talking about- #i voted hate them 100% sweep o7 #ie not a fan of the mindset that a 'girl/boy' has to look a certain way and be placed in a construct/box- #especially considering the fact that not every culture has the same views of gender expression #(mainly ones not affected by westernization) #plus after finding out about the harassment op received is making me dislike the trope more honestly 😬😬😬 #on a realistic level tho i just try to avoid seeing the trope when i can and move along- don't want to fuss too hard over online things #and i'd rather use the web to support cool ppl and uplift voices hkdjfg #if any mutual happens to read this lmk if u want to see the poll o7 #that said on another note- hopefully brain funk i've been in is ending soon AA #been wanting/needing to do things like respond to msgs and finish commission stuff !! plans in the brain- yet energies missing :pensive:

[shanedoesdoodles]

For some reason voices are giving me a massive sensory overload today and I'm trying so hard to remain silly and not get mean over it

#It's not anyone's fault that their voice/inflection sounds like needles against my eardrums and I do not hold it against them #But it is very very hard for me to hold in any comment to try to make them stop #Because it feels like if I hear another voice my brains gonna pop #But I've succeeded so far!!! Nothing but a few jagged movements because I'm flinching/in pain #Also doesn't help that I have a stomach ache from skipping breakfast affecting my mood but again!! #Remaining silly

[deityofhearts]

I just want attention but I want for people to actually want to give me attention without me having to all but beg for it (and even then I end up begging for attention, that’s what this post is)

#deity dialogue #I can’t exist without some form of attention and if I’m not receiving attention and interaction then everything just seems pointless you #know? I don’t expect constant attention from any one person that’s absurd and not like someone’s job #I just hate the feeling of loneliness and being unwanted or a burden #I know there are people who do like me and my presence and like hearing from me and i and very very grateful to you all #so hi hi if you see this post I love and appreciate you #I’m not making this post to diminish the affection and attention I receive from others #I guess just to voice that I’m constantly hungry for attention like some sort of attention vampire #blah blah I could pinpoint why exactly I’m like this but it would do no good #just like the feeling of not getting enough attention or feeling like I’m unwanted when o do recieve attention or try my best to get peoples #attention #I’m just tired of being this way but it hasn’t changed yet I try so hard to not be bothered and to not care and to not keep craving #attention or like going out of my way to get peoples attention and yet #anyways sorry for my depressing late thoughts I should go to sleep but once again I cannot #I did however make myself cry because my own thoughts (again) #I’m gonna go check on my forehead and then like idk #resume reading the stupid vampire webcomic or like make myself try and sleep #I need more sleep medicine but I don’t have the money to spare for that lmao #any money I have rn is in savings for my impending phone bill #i can just sleep during the day. also like a vampire

[bunnihearted]

🏠🐇☁️🥛

#how and where i live is slowly driving me insane #at home i can never rest or relax. the situation w my sisters is rlly affecting me and im too sensitive for it #plus... i cant concemtrate bc my sistyers sound like deranged monkeys. they are SO loud #when im in my room and they sit in the living room their digusting voices and laughter and yells make me so fkn angry #even when i have headphones on i can hear them. and it's for long stretches of time and also in the evenings/nights #i just wanna be able to concentrate on things but i cant when i have to fkn listen to them all the time. so noisy #also i hate this city. it's gotten wayyyyyy worse in the past few years. there are sm things wrong w it so i dont need to rant abt all of it #but mainly it's so noisy. construction work everywhere 24/7!!!! theyre building a subway which takes so long bc they actually cant afford it #theres nowhere to go where i get some peace nd quiet. the forest is full of drill sounds and explosions and just awful noise #basically i just HATE how i live. i hate this city #i hate my apartment bc of my family and neighbors and how ugly it is #i've lived in the same place for 25 years im just sick of it #i've put myself on a couple of apartment waiting lists but that can take years :(( #also i cant move while im on benefits/wellfare (yes im a burden on the state stfu KYS) #i could get a job but how where???? the most realistic for ME nd the useless stupid incapable person i am is to move ad a student #but in order for that i need to finish upper secondary school and get my 'diploma' so i can apply for some programs and move to another city #getting student housing is not easy but it's easier and more straightforward then finding a job and move (in the position im in) #and for some reason..... actually doing my schoolwork is so so hard and i dont wanna! :(( #even if i know i HAVE to bc i dont have any otherq options :/ #i cant stand living in this town and i cant stand living w my family i need a new place by myself #genuinely i hate myself bc why can i not just DO things??? other ppl get shit done. why cant i? i just dont know how and its frustrating #also other ppl dont understand. they just think im lazy and incompetent and think like omg just do it #i've asked therapists for help but it's like they dont know anything bc i have never gotten help #fuckkkkk i wanna move away i wanna be an adult i wanna get an education and pay rent and be normal

[stinkrascal]

aza is so much fun to rp directly after rping as daveth bc they are SOOO different. daveth is a socialite, loves the sound of his own voice, knows how to charm ppl with his sweet words and knows how to make people laugh, he makes a few faux pas here and there but he knows how to save the conversation easily. and aza is just. so straightforward. so serious. so unintentionally invasive. she just says whatever comes to her head with the most deadpan face at all times. it doesnt matter how crazy it sounds, its just tuesday for her. 🤷‍♂️

#daveth who cares so deeply about being liked and creates a social facade to mask the fact hes afraid of becoming truly close to ppl #vs aza who is so unaware of how forward she is that she freely shares her every waking thought even if it sounds umm. unwell #and her and daveth are besties for it. #she says something deranged with the most flat voice and deadpan expression #and daveth's inner durge cheers her on like yes bestie we're both so incredibly normal #this is random but aza is really hard to make laugh. she thinks your joke is funny she's just not emoting at all #the only person who can accomplish this on occasion is gale :) so they love traveling w him bc they think he's so funny #ugh i love her so much. my stoic little baby im smushing her face and kissing her cheeks #she would look like this the entire time :| but i promise she appreciates the affection again its just that emoting business #thats not for her #davethcore #azacore #aza's biggest inspo was nico robin if that gives you an idea of her random morbid quips. very nicorobincore

[hearties-circus]

Why am I so easily swayed into a roaring contest with the wee ones, even when it actively hurts, if they keep going so do i, I actually fucked up my throat like my voice is screwed this is not the first time this has happened

#gamer txt. #'this' being fucking up my voice not getting caught up in a roaring contest #although its hard to say if this one will be as permanent as the last time i fucked it up #cause last time i did this it was screaming uninterrupted for long periods of time that did it not roaring #and that Feels different cause that time it practically didnt affect my voice it just affected my pitch #i can no longer hold a high note for more than a few seconds if i try to do so i turn into a raspy mess and it gets a bit harder to breathe #but that doesnt affect my voice much nor did it at the time i sustained the injury #this is different my voice has very much been affected #in the sense that im a raspy mess no matter how i speak right now #kinda want this to be permanent itd be kinda fun #unique if you will #and it doesnt hurt #free rasp with no pain thats a pretty good deal

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Sometimes I think I must consume media wrong because I don't remember The Lottery by Shirley Jackson fucking me up

Like sure I read it and was like 'wait hang on, what- oh dear.' but I didn't have the 'Dude That Was So Fucked Up I Am Fundamentally Changed As A Person' experience everyone else apparently had

And that ain't a flex btw this ain't a "oh I can read the most fucked up stuff and feel NOTHING" kinda bullshit I just. Wasn't that deeply affected lmao

#but also i got a B in English Literature A Level so I must be doing somethin right lmao #smol speaks #im trying to think why it didnt really mess with me. it wasnt a 'shocking twist' it's Where The Story Went to me #then again i dont remember many specifics from when i was younger. hell i barely remember the last week. i do know we read it though #i dont remember what conclusions i reached or what we even discussed. however i CAN think of a story that did affect me as a kid: #Lola Rose by Jacqueline Wilson. I read it in primary school and have reread it multiple times. i felt such a connection with Lola Rose #she was so similar to me even though we also had differences (her fear and hatred of sharks vs my love of them) (though her fear made sense #i dont think ive ever empathized with a character so much. and that book introduced me to the concept of abusive parents i think. #the idea of a parent who didnt simply love you but sometimes went about it wrong or made mistakes. but one who *actively* hurt their family #rereading that book again as an adult is heartbreaking ESPECIALLY the 'Voice of Doom' sections which *holy fuck i relate to*. there's such #dread and fear in that book but luckily there is hope and joy!! but God above the shit that girl deals with. anyway maybe reading a story #about a weird festival that ends with a stoning doesnt hit as hard when youve read about a girl seeing the bruises on her mother's chest #in the bath and having to tell her 5 year old brother they ran away from Dad because he hurt Mum and his response is 'but she deserves it' #abuse mention #better tag that huh. yeah sorry i put half the post in the tags again GOD i should make an actual Lola Rose post

[kingsbride-moved]

I think guilt is something complicated for AZ because there's a certain point during an immortal life span where emotions like that just stop mattering on like a cosmic level... In the sense that it becomes Literally Impossible to do anything about it. It's been too long, the world has changed, the people who were hurt are long gone, but at the same time it causes a constant loop of like... "I should have done this while I still had time to. I should have said something I should have done something. But it's too late now and soon it'll stop mattering to the world. But it'll still matter to me, because I'm still here."

#*Pearl from SU voice* 'Everything I did I did for her. Now she's gone... but I'm still here.' #💬 | sing clear voiced muse #🗝️ | Paleozoic within the body #sorry having a night Where i rhink too hard about hiw immortality affects feelings of grief #death mention #(its implied here)

[arguscallous]

I dream like pulling teeth, I dream of pulling teeth

One by one out my skull, bare the pain and make myself beautiful, make a bloody smile quiet and dainty and meek and everything a lady should be

I dream of helplessness, nightmare and a hope; what if I couldn't fight? What if this fear of my body was ripped out? Would you love me if I was properly weak, if you had no reason to cower?

What if I cut away these rough edges, took sandpaper to the cracks. What if I turned broken bottles into sea glass.

#poetry #spilled ink #vent poem #hmm hmm its. hard to have a body i think #i love it; bright home of my soul. sweet sighing voice and hands that fight to no longer tremble #its strong. its soft and warm and when my beloveds are close i can hold carry protect keep them in my arms #its easy for me to love it when its nice #harder when i can lift my beloved over my shoulder easy as could be #and we all have to remember #“oh. they could really hurt me.” #the muscle is hidden with purposefully kept layers of fat and affected cuteness #the anget that sings unkempt is buried easy enough. puns and fun facts and silly questions hide how bad a part of my wants to bite #its still there tho and thats. scary? #the reminder that kind as i want to be theres just as much that could would craves to hurt something... #part of the interest in being a service top tbh is i hurt someone then its because they want it

[vaugarde]

was gonna ask if xy was the first series to give the gym leaders unique battlefields but then i remembered the literal first season did that with blaine

#with both of his really bc they were both in lava #but like they dont do unique terrains often and yeah thats the same in xy now that i think abt it #usually theres aesthetic changes in the background but not much in the way of the setup or how it affects the battle #which is more interesting imo #its why i like rejuvenation and reborn for their field systems tbh. hard to memorize but keeps things from being so monotonous #echoed voice

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ugh. the fucking struggle of a thing i will not talk about. its just an off shoot of one of my many #obessive compulsive tendencies. it just makes me think of my dad. like hes also a fucking anxious person but hes like. i have the thoughts #but then i dont let them control me so its not an issue. and he knos i get caught up on the structure and identification of problems so #hes always like. its only an issue if its like ruining ur life. and hes right and i definitely meet the standards of both of those things #bc im fucking thinking abt these things constantly. its in my head literally all the time. every second of the day #and i mean i guess this specific thing isnt ruining my life but it certainly isnt helpful and in combo with everything else my quality of #life is not what it could b. idk it just feels all empty which is y i became a fucking workaholic #bc i just get so fucking bored stuck in these stupid patterns that at least i can make myseld useful as i drive myself nuts #it also doesnt help that im still trying to unfuck my leg and not being very successful bc theres this fucking voice in my head like #keep moving. u cant sit down. walk around. dont stop. dont stop. dont stop. i can feel the muscles getting irritated again #its unbearable bc it doesn't really even hurt. i just kno im fucking it up for myself and i have all this excess energy that i cant get rid #of bc i cant run. anyway its just irritating #i probably triggered myself by watching the bear all day lol. its so good but it reminds me of working in a shitty banquet hall when my #brain was on fire. and theyve got that toxic workahoism that i so desperately cling to. and in a weird way i can relate tho their fucked #up mom when everyones just trying to help but shes so fixated on this thing that's clearly causing her distress but shes just screaming at #them. like i mean i have insight into my issues and i try not to let them affect anyone but me but its so hard when its like. i have to do #this thing. i have to do it. i kno its bad. i kno its fucked up but shut the fuck up and let me do this. u dont fucking understand #but i wouldn't say that bc i kno its irrational. ugh. i also have to go to a lab dinner tomorrow. maybe #no time has been listed so idk. its for my leaving so im technically the focus. hate that for me. whatever. itll b fine #at least the place is within walking distance and its like less than 3 weeks until i leave #unrelated