#this thing. i have to do it. i kno its bad. i kno its fucked up but shut the fuck up and let me do this. u dont fucking understand

[opens-up-4-nobody]

If accommodations no longer help you, I'm curious at what point they stopped being helpful.

#bc for me: once u get to the graduate level its like sink or swim bitch #u have to fucking read and nothing is gonna make it easier so fucking read or find a different job #i dont kno how u accomodate a grad student. like u have things that have to happen. u cant just let someone not do their job they got hired #to do. so like u just select for ppl who arent extremely disabled bc i just dont think u could do it otherwise #u would b too bad at ur job. every prof i say im dyslexic to is like: oh! r u registered with the disability office? #and im like no. wtf would they even do for me. im sure i could get lots of accommodation stuff but functionally i just have to suck it up #and work harder. but im also fucked up about having a learning disability so like maybe im just being difficult #idk. most ppl dont wanna do jobs that they weren't designed for and cause them so much pain. but like i said. im sorta fucked up #learning disability #dyslexia #dyscalculia #adhd #dyspraxia #dysgraphia #poll #polls #unrelated

[melissa-titanium]

GOD therseomuch shit to do i thought id have time today to DO stuff. its the fucking weekend why do ihave to do 2 classes and go outside and literally do something for school . the weekDAYS are always busy i havent had a free moment since i fucking joined

#mel roars #and i forgot to clean cicis fucking litter #like forgot as in for nearly a week #everyone always asks why im never getting another fucking pet THAT is why #because if i cant take care of it then all thats gonna happen is its going to suffer under my care #i have so much fucking due art SO many people messaging me i was LITERALLY going to delete my toyhouse account 2 days ago just to fucking #have a moment of relief #ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD ACTUALLY. this ius normal for so many people to balance their social lives and school and work and shit but i CANT #i cant adhere to a schedule ill lose my fucking mind #i was miserable at my dads but god if it wasnt awesome to Have Free Time #i guess not talking to human beings or going outside for 2 straight years had its Perks #im so fucking sorry to everyone who has to deal with me i am SINCERELY so fucking sorry #i want to do so much stuff with so many people but its always Oh sorry i had to do something :( Sorry i cant do it today Sorry im not free #Sorry sorry sorry SORRY FUCKKKKKKK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHY CANT I ACTUALLY JUST DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE #ITS ALWAYS APOLOGIES AND YET??? NOTHING EVER CHANGES??????? #and everyone knows this. every single person i have ever spoken to knos im a fucking shit at keeping promises or apologies and it SUCKS it #fucking sucks. can some one take me into their garage and put me down Please #pleas eplease pleasePLEAePLEASAE PLEASE i cant take it anymore fucking help me #i just need SOME one to tell me Directly that i am doing things wrong that im UPSETTING them because i KNOW I AM but i also DONT #unless i recieve it directly from them. god . pleasae. can someone just tell me to shut the fuck up alreasdy

[n0ct0urn1quet]

@raiden-metal-gear-rising kising u ON THE LIPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#i made this meme :] #not my image (obviously. u know thats not my cat KSJDKLG) but i added the silly text heehoo #BUT HEEGHJGHJNJGKE THIS IS ME RN! !!!!!!!! showering u in hugs kisses snugles cuddles etc etc and so on and So Fucking Forth!!!!! #OH i love u so much u are so shaped methinks............. #we shoul!!!!!!!!! video chat aagain maybe!!!!!!!!!!!! ahgh i wish i had my webcam so i didnt have to use my laptop buti dont HAVE it anymor #and i am SOSAD but i wanna video chat again with u bc hrhrgrgrghgr ur prettyyyyyyy ur so preyrtyyyyyyy #either that ooorrrrrrrrrrr u could send me selfies more oftnen that workse too heehoo................................ #LITSTEN i jus like seeign ur face oke. u are very veyr very cute!!!!!! and prebby!!!!!! #and ur face? is kisable. and i am going to kis it #literally like a coupl hours ago i was jus layin down n i was just like Wow I Really Fuckign Wana Kis My Gf Rn lke i just #i do not mean jus typing u *mwah* or somethign i mean just like!!!!!!! actulally kissing u in Real Life!!!!!!! #i want to so bad i canot wait to meet u in person in a coupl months and jus!!!!!!!!!!! ghive u the biggest fucgiking kiss ever!!!!!!!!! #cause!!!!!!!! im gonna kis u so sofly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! an so happily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #an im gona wake up in ur bed and if i wake up before u do im gonna roll over ontop of u an give u liiiiiitol kises on ur face 2 wake u up.. #an i wil kissy u on da n ose an cheek an forhead an when u wake up i wil kis u on da lips!!!!!!!! #an if u wake up before me bro u can do thtate too........... gib me kiseys............. idk if itll wake me up or not bc am a heavy seeper #BUT stil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jus kis me rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! awajhwgahjw #i just love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verey verey much #i kno the first coupl hours of today werent very Ebic but........ its oke...... things ar gona b oke i Prommy #Emotions Ar Jus Hard 2 Control but i wil work on it an ill b here if u neede anythimbg... i lub u lots no matter what....... #u my wife!!!!!!!!! u my gf!!!!!!! my she my she my she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i just love u lots lots lst :) :) :) :) #im kisy u goodnite!!!!!!!!!!!!! goodnite seepyhead!!!!!!!! get gloopy ooupy sneepys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lubvs u :] :] <3333333

[mysterycitrus]

I keep hearing people say to ignore Devin Grayson’s Nightwing but I also see people reference it. I feel like I’m getting mixed signals. Should I avoid it or read it? Are there specific issue I should avoid or read? is the avoiding advice only for people who are new to the comics? Or should I really just avoid the whole thing?

short answer — u do not have to read devin graysons nightwing run. i wouldn’t recommend it to new readers, and there isn’t anything significantly important that happens so like. it’s an easy pass. i do encourage people to at least read what she wrote about, though, because devin accidentally kickstarted the next twenty or so years of bad writing in nightwing books.

the long answer — devin grayson was a writer for nightwing volume 2 from like….. issue #70ish to #115ish. she did a lot of weird things during her run — her takes on dick’s relationships with bruce and slade and helena come to mind — but the most popular talking points wrt her writing are issue 93 and maaaaybe the renegade arc but that is literally the tip of shit mountain.

it’s funny u say that people are telling u not to read it cause based on my experience in fandom it is very, very clear that very few people have read any of the run at all, or even #93 and it’s preceding issues. which is fine, because it’s bad. but it’s important to understand why it’s bad, and how it’s affected dicks characterisation in both canon and fanon.

nightwing #93 is the issue people say to avoid because it features dick’s assault at the hands of a former ally that devin refused to acknowledge was rape until like… 2014. it’s bad. the build up to this point — haleys is set on fire, dicks apartment is destroyed killing everyone inside, dick watches this ally kill a man on his behalf while he is helpless to stop her — is rarely discussed in the context of the scene. it’s a lot, but because people haven’t read it they misunderstand the dynamics that devin had created.

the worst parts about nightwing in the present — his lack of conviction and competence, his sexualisation and dehumanisation, the fundamental lack of empathy for his retconned bg as a poc — all started with devin. literal ground zero. i cannot emphasise how her i incapability to understand that she’d written an assault arc with her self insert as the instigator has played into dick’s status as a character in the 2020s. many people accidentally engage with the same tired, racist tropes that devin herself contributed to, because people simply do not know (or care to know) what she’d written. think about much fanon content revolves around dick being an accessory to his own assault, or being literally unable to advocate for himself, or relying on jason fucking todd to kill his rapist. it’s like im rereading nightwing vol 2 all over again, and that’s not a good thing.

however what people also tend to forget about is the racism. devin grayson introduced dick having rromani heritage into canon, sure, but she did it because she thought it was sexy. we see this with her writing for roy’s navajo heritage too — a lack of research and care, though dick’s was clearly egregiously fetishistic. she retconned the character that assaulted dick into a latina character, and retconned her into being an aggressively sexual and violent person that was at significant odds with her og characterisation. that seems to be a trend with nightwing writers — wolfman did the exact same thing like fifteen years earlier with about the same degree of nuance and empathy.

ig my answer is that nightwing vol 2 is very much a pick and choose run, make ur own adventure type experience. bizarrely, u can get better nightwing characterisation in the titans 1999 run, or batman plus arsenal, which were both also written by devin (heartbreaking, the worst person u kno just made a good point). id be wary of people telling u to avoid it entirely, because i think ignoring its existence just exacerbates the problems devin created. just be discerning, ig. but also read nightwing vol 2 #118-#124 (just after devin leaves) because it is gd hilarious

#sorry for the essay i just. have SO many opinions about nightwing 93 and how no one gd understands it like i do #dick grayson #nightwing #rape tw #dc comics #the ask and the answer

[axelsagewrites]

Daemon Targaryen*Gala

Sugar Baby Series Part 5 finale

Part one - Part two - Part Three - Part 4.5 - Part Four

Pairings: Daemon x f!reader

Summary: The reader finally has to face the whole Targaryen family at their gala and Otto is far from happy

Warnings: drinking, drunk Rhaneys, Drunk Otto, grabbing, threats, brief fight but nothing graphic

Word count: 5655 (i kno but its the finale i had to)

Masterlist Here

“She’s fucking your uncle for money bro,” Cregan’s words made Aemond’s eye go wide. Aemond sat stunned, looking between you, Cregan, and Jace who just shrugged. “And she’s going to your family reunion so if you could refrain from knives- “

“Cregan!” Sara hush whispered, jabbing her brother with her elbow.

Aemond paused for a moment before turning to look at you, “Are you really Daemon’s sugar baby?” He asked, the words sounding like sick in his mouth.

You gave an awkward smile, glancing at Jace for reassurance, “Kinda yeah, I mean yes I am,” you stuttered out, eyes falling to the floor.

You heard Aemond’s sigh and looked up to see him relaxing back into the booth, “Well then. Make sure he pays you double for the gala,” Aemond said before swallowing his drink in one go, “And bring a flask,”

Aemond wasn’t exactly comfortable with the fact his uncle was paying his friend for their company, struggling to believe sex wasn’t a part of the deal, but with a couple drinks he soon came around. The next morning all five of you woke up spread across Jace and Cregan’s flat. Jace and Sara somehow managed to stumble to his bedroom while Cregan lay in the bathroom, head hanging over the toilet as he slept.

You meanwhile woke up on the couch with a pounding headache and no clue how you got here.  The one thing you knew for sure was that the bacon smell was not Cregan’s doing and didn’t smell burnt so it couldn’t have been Jace. When you stumbled through to the kitchen you tried to conceal your surprise when you saw a fresh face Aemond cooking up a professional level breakfast.

“Dude, you drank more than me,” you mumbled as you took a seat at the kitchen table.

Aemond scoffed but you saw the smile at the edge of his lips as he handed you a plate of eggs and bacon, “Not my fault you all cant handle a few rounds,”

“You made us do tequila shots. 3 fucking shots,” you reminded him as you dug into the breakfast.

You looked up when Jace walked in clutching his head and heading for a glass of water for his Advil. “To be fair the first shots were Sara’s fault. I think she ands Cregan are dead in the bathroom,” he said, gulping down the water as if he was in the Sahara desert. Jace paused for a moment, looking up at his uncle then back to the bacon, “I knew I always liked you,”

Aemond scoffed yet again before handing Jace a plate and the two boys joined you at the table. Meanwhile you replied to daemons texts asking if you had made it home safe last night. “Texting Daemon?” Jace asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“I’m eating,” Aemond groaned in disgust as you finished off your text with a smirk before sitting the phone down. “Now onto more pressing issues,” even Jace looked confused at Aemond’s sudden seriousness, “We have to train you. For the gala,” Aemond rolled his eyes at yours and Jaces loud groans and protests, “Trust me, you want my help,”

“Why?” You groaned, desperate to just enjoy the greasy food that somehow was making this hang over bearable. “How hard can it be to wear a dress and smile?” The look Jace and Aemond shared made a pit grow in your stomach.  “That is what Galas are right?”

Jace sat down his fork, glancing at Aemond before looking back at you, “Maybe you do need our help,”

Being hung over was bad enough but being hungover and going through Aemond Targaryen’s Class and Etiquette masterclass made you never wanna drink again. You did everything from learn which fork to yet with, how to shake hands, who to approach and what to say, who liked who and most importantly who hated who.

“And remember no matter what,” Aemond said as you walked up and down the living room with a book on your head, “Never be left alone with my mother. Fake a heart attack if you have to,”

“Is she the one who made you learn all this crap?” You asked as sara sniggered at your pathetic attempts to balance the book on your head.

“She was worse,” Aemond chuckled, “Way worse actually one time she made Aegon walk barefooted in the snow- “Aemond paused when he saw you stop walking and Jace and Sara staring at him like someone had shot him, “Never mind, just trust me. Avoid her,”

“Noted,” you said sceptically as you continued your newly learned prissy walk, “Do you think she’ll recognise me?”

Jace and Aemond shared a concerned look before Aemond cleared his throat, “She um remembers you yeah,” he didn’t go on till you death glared him, “She kinda well she wouldn’t let my dad say his order to you at the restaurant cause she thought you looked like a well,” he paused until the silence was more awkward than him just spitting it out, “A gold digger?”

Sara cackled while Jace face palmed while you stood open mouth and shocked. “I’m not-well I know it could seem- she-I’m not a gold digger!” You finally spat out. “Am I a gold digger?” You asked, looking between all your friends.

“The politically correct term is sugar baby,” Sara chirped, her hangover sadly gone.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, realising the horrible truth, “What if she finds out?!”

Aemond sat up, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared you down, “She cannot find out,” he said sternly, “Don’t worry. We’ll cover for you. We will survive this,” he said, somehow making it sound more like a war than it already was.

When you finally managed to escape Aemond’s class you only had time to run home, change, and head right back out to meet Daemon for lunch. Daemon was already sat at the table when you walked in, standing up he saw you, “You look stunning doll,” Daemon said, kissing your cheek before pulling out your chair, “Hungover?” He questioned with a slight smirk as he took his own chair.

You chuckled a bit as you glanced over the menu, “Nah I’m fine now. Your nephew helped with that,” you said as the waiter approached, and you both ordered.

After ordering daemon looked back at you, “Which nephew love? Should I be concerned?”

You snorted a little at his comment, “Jealous?” You asked before shaking your head, “Well Jace was there but it was mostly Aemond,”

“Aemond,” Daemon said, eyes wandering to the side as he thought, “Is that the eyepatch one or the syphilis one?”

“Aegon had syphilis?” You asked shocked, leaning forward wide eyed, “But yes Aemond has an eyepatch,”

“So why were you having a family reunion without me doll?” He asked. As you explained the rigorous etiquette you had just been taught the waiter brought the food over and Daemon hung off your every word. As you finished your story, finally able to dive into the amazing looking food, daemon nodded silently, “So he warned you about the gala?”

“He made it sound worse than world war three,”

Daemon chuckled at your description as he mulled it over, “That’s the Aemond I remember alright. You’ll be fine doll just stick to my side or my nephews if I get pulled away by someone but if you see my alone with a Baratheon for more than five minutes you’re obligated to swoop in and save me,”

“Mr Targaryen your doctors on the phone you’re having a heart attack right now,” you said, putting on your best posh accent making Daemon snigger. “There is something I need to ask though,” you said as you pushed the food around your plate with your fork.

Daemon raised an eyebrow as you avoided his gaze, “Everything okay love?”

“Yeah, it’s just um,” you said before finally looking up, “How am I supposed to say I know you? Aemond got worried about people finding out and yeah what’s like the plan?” You asked.

Daemon paused for a moment, sipping on his coffee before nodding, “Well I rsvp’d for a plus one so you’re my date and if anyone keeps prying i’ll tell them to fuck off,” you couldn’t help but laugh at his attitude but part of you knew it would not take much to push daemon into doing exactly that, “If anyone asks we’ll just say I met you at your work and we hit it off. Assuming you’re okay with pretending to be my girlfriend,”

You knew the idea of being Daemons girlfriend wasn’t supposed to fill your stomach with butterflies or make you want to lean over and kiss him. You were his sugar baby, someone he paid to like him, but you couldn’t help the feeling. “I suppose I can make it work,” you said with a shy smile before taking a drink to try concealing your fluster.

It didn’t go unnoticed however and daemon smiled quietly to himself as he watched your antics. Gods, he thought to himself, is it wrong he didn’t want it to be pretend? He kept his thoughts to himself as lunch continued.

“So where should I ask the driver to drop you off today?” Daemon asked as he helped you put your coat on to leave.

“I was kinda hoping I could stay at yours again tonight? I’ve gotta go in to work early tomorrow and your place is closer,” you said as you took Daemons hand without second thought as you began to walk out the restaurant.

Daemon laughed as he took your hand in his, his thumb stroking over your skin as it always did, “Of course doll. Though you don’t need the excuses love,” he smirked when he saw your head dip, a faint blush spreading over your face as he helped you into the car.

With every passing day you got slightly more nervous about the Gala on Friday. The whole of the Targaryen corporation got a half day because of the event but luckily you didn’t work Fridays so could spend the whole day worrying. Daemon unfortunately had to go into the office to sort some last-minute Gala financing out but said you were welcome to get ready at his house and even agreed to let Jace and Aemond over as well.

Jace and Aemond weren’t shocked by the extravagant house in the slightest, but Sara walked in, and her jaw hit the ground. “What the hell?” She gasped as she walked in, having decided she was more than welcome to come as well to do your makeup. “Why can’t I get a sugar daddy?”

“Hey!” Jace protested, his arm defensively going over her shoulder, “Give me a few years alright im still in uni,”

Sara scoffed as she pushed Jaces arm off to explore the house. Now it was time for business, “Where’s your dress?” Aemond asked, forgetting to say hello as he searched his uncle’s house.

You unzipped the dress bag revealing the dark purple satin evening dress that Daemon had made to your exact size. “Ta da,” you said, turning the dress to show the group.

“That’ll do,” Aemond said, nodding his head approvingly as he took the dress out the bag, “Now for makeup- “

“i’ve got that bit covered Aem’s,” Sara said as she flung her arm over Aemond’s shoulder, pinching his cheek. The two had grown a love hate relationship since Aemond took time off where Sara was her usual bubbly self and Aemond pretended to hate it. “Oh my god I forgot how gorgeous this dress is,” she gushed as she reached for the dress, “Hey!” Sara protested as Aemond snatched it away.

Aemond rolled his eyes as he slipped it back in the protective bag, “Not a chance. I don’t know where your hands have been. Now let’s get this show on the road,”

“Princess diaries style,” Jace grinned causing everyone to look at him, head tilted, “Sara made me watch it,” he mumbled.

“Bitch please you made me watch it,” Sara said before grabbing your shoulders and leading you to sit down, “Now let me at this face. I have work to do,”

Daemon had given you his credit card to get everything you needed for the Gala; makeup, shoes, jewellery, whatever you needed to complete the look. Sara took great pride in picking out the makeup with you and now began to slather it on your face with Aemond watching over her shoulder to keep it tasteful. You were thankful Jace was there to mediate.

She ended up giving you a soft purple eye look with a little bit of smoke and glitter, a more natural face and just gloss for lips. “Perfect,”

“Hot,”

“Looking good babes,” Jace cheered from the other end of the couch from where he was playing wordle on his phone.

Sara stood up with a gleeful smile, “My work here is done,” she said, clasping her hands together. You didn’t even question how Aemond knew how to do hair as he began to curl and pin it in place.

Jace and Aemond eventually went to get in their tuxes themselves and now all you had to do was get dressed. As you were heading upstairs for Sara to help you into the dress you heard Daemon getting home. “I’m home doll,” his voice called out across the entrance.

“Omg he calls you doll?” Sara whispered, grabbing your arm tightly.

“I’m just getting changed Daemon. Jace and Aemond are downstairs,” you called back as Sara dragged you to the bedroom, squealing at the sight.

The dress fit like a glove and the material was so soft it felt like ice water on a hot day. Sara made sure your hair was sitting perfect, shoes and jewellery was on, and makeup was perfect before you walked down. She was determined to give you your ‘teen movie’ moment as she called it.

When you walked down the stairs, seeing Daemon sitting on the couch with Jace and Aemond waiting for you, you almost felt nervous for some reason. At that exact moment that you contemplated turning back Daemons head turned to face you. You watched as his jaw went slack, his eyes scanning up your body as he stood from the couch.

He walked from the couch to the stairs silently, meeting you at the bottom and taking your hand softly into his, “Beautiful,” he murmured before holding your hand up and making you give him a slow spin, “Absolutely gorgeous love,” he said, pulling you in for a brief kiss while Sara awed and Jace gagged.

“Thanks doll,” you said, rolling your eyes to disguise you blush, “Are you gonna get ready?”

“Give me five minutes doll. Just gotta change,” he said as he finally let you go, moving past you to head up the stairs before pausing, “Sara, right?” He asked, taking her hand to shake softly.

“Yeah,” she said, her eyes wide as Daemon almost smirked before walking up the stairs. “Wow,” she mouthed to you as she walked down the stairs.

“Babe!” Jace whined at his girlfriend’s actions. The teasing and bantering didn’t stop until you saw Daemon reappearing at the top of the staircase. Unlike Jace who chose a plain black tuxedo and Aemond’s white one Daemon had opted for a dark purple tux to match yours with a lavender shirt underneath. Jaw dropping was an understatement. “You clean up nice,” you grinned, moving to stand beside daemon.

“Thank you love,” he said, his arm moving to wrap around yours before kissing the top of your head. Daemon smiled at you for a moment before turning to the nephews, “Called the cars. One to drop you home,” he said pointing to sara who looked like she may swoon at any second. Lucky for her Jace decided to spare her the war that was the Targaryen gala. “One for you both,” he nodded towards the boys before turning to you with a light smile, “Then one for us,”

You could melt under his gaze despite Jaces ews and Aemond’s eyerolls. For a moment you weren’t even worried about the gala. You just wanted to enjoy the moment as you all shared a glass of wine before the cars came. Sara was practically bouncing as she got into the car, hers being the first to show. Daemon sent Jace and Aemond in the next one, wanting to savour the last few moments alone with you. “Promise you won’t hate me if I show myself up tonight?” You joked as Aemond and Jace left.

“Nothing could make me hate you doll,” Daemon said, kissing your lips softly before pausing, “I got you something,” he finally said as he pulled a small box out of his pocket.

You gasped when he opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, “This is too much,” you said as you studied the ring.

“I could give you the world and it still wouldn’t be enough,” Daemon said as he took the ring out of the box, slipping onto your finger as he kept his eyes on yours. You couldn’t look away from those lilac eyes, even when the car honked outside you didn’t want to walk away. “c’mon love we’ll be late,” Daemon said softly as he took your hand in his.

“Okay,” you said, grabbing your purse and readying yourself. “Let’s do this,”

Despite all the prep you hadn’t expected all the flashing cameras or the lilac carpet, something you wondered if Daemon had suggested as you stood beside your date to pose for the cameras. Daemon work his signature sexy smirk as his arm slinked around your waist, resting on your hip, before you were ushered off the carpet to finally get inside of the gala.

Inside was thankfully less hectic but there was still a lot of hustle and bustle as people waited for the gala to usher them in. Servers passed out strange hors d'oeuvre you’d never heard the name of and, thankfully for you, champagne and wine. You gladly accepted a glass, almost drinking it in one go to steady your nerves. Daemons arm was locked protectively around you the whole time.

You glanced over to where Aemond looked like he was being sharply questioned by his mother, Jace standing a few feet away trying not to laugh. He gave you a slight nod when he noticed you looking. At least there were some friendly faces you supposed.

When the doors were finally opened you were ushered into a large hall with circle tables covered in red table clothes. Daemon guided you through the mess of tables and people to your seat. Apparently, the table assignments had been a lengthy process that he and his brother studied together while organising the affair. You were sat at a table with Daemon on one side and Jace on the other.

You smiled as Jace sat down and did your best to act natural when Rhaenyra, Lucerys, and Harwin strong arrived at the table. As they took their seats Jace began to whisper to you how his aunt tried to have Harwin banned from the affair but once they found out they were engaged nothing could be done.

“Who’s your friend sweetie?” Rhaenyra asked as she scooted her chair in before looking up and tilting her head, “Do I know you from somewhere?”

“She’s friends with Sara mum,” Jace said, blushing at the mention of his girlfriend which only made Luke start to make fun of his older brother.

Rhaenyra scolded Luke but before anything else could be said a loud microphone static rang across the room. “Is it on now?” Viserys voice was supposed to be a whisper but you and Jace sniggered as it rang across the room. “Okay good, good. Well, I would like to welcome…” Daemon had warned you about his brothers’ lengthy speeches at these things however you tried to listen but all you really heard was fundraiser, food, champagne, and eat. And eat you would.

You almost moaned as you bit into the food, something Daemon couldn’t help but chuckle at. Even though part of you knew Rhaenyra had recognised you, you were grateful for her discretion. The whole meal was surprisingly painless, even enjoyable, as Rhaenyra told you embarrassing stories about Jace, and daemon and daemon finally seemed to let loose around his family. During dinner they began to pace out donation slips for everyone to fill out. When you tried to peak at Daemons donation slip, he quickly pulled it away with a grin, telling you not to be so nosey.

When the dinner was over you were all ushered to the bar while they rearranged the tables, but you didn’t complain when you learned it was an open bar. You were stood beside Jace at the bar sipping your drink, your buzz already going, as daemon wandered off with Rhaenyra to talk to a client.

Jace waved at someone behind you and when you turned you felt your stomach churn. “Hi grampa, granny,” Jace said as he gave Rhaenys a hug and Coryls a firm handshake with a pointed but goofy look.

“Your grips improving son and look who it is,” he said turning to you, his arms opening, “Jace I see you’ve stolen my best employee,”

You blushed as you tried to avoid Rhaenys confused look, “Uh no she’s just my friend grampa. My girlfriend couldn’t make it,” Jace explained, “She’s uncle daemons date,”

Coryls let out a loud chuckle at that one, “Oh Daemon what’s he like,” Coryls said shaking his head, “I’d say you better make him happy but im sure you do sweetheart,” he tried to joke when his wife exclaimed.

“I know you!” She said, almost staggering as she pointed at you, “You used to work for me, at the Den. Oh sweetie how have you been?” She gushed, throwing her arms around you. You gave your boss a wide eyed look as he attempted to pry his drunk wife from you, “You know I know I should say this but,” she said, looking around as if someone was spying on her, “I’m so glad someone finally yelled at that awful witch,” she whispered in the loud way all drunk people do.

“Sorry bout that,” you said but you couldn’t help but laugh at her state as Coryls pulled him back to his side.

“No don’t be,” she said, holding your arms, “I would’ve done it years ago but someone,” she said giving her husband a dirty look, “said I wasn’t allowed,”

“Okay sweetie,” Coryls said as he brought Rhaenys properly into his grip, “Lets go find you some hors d’oeuvre, okay? Sorry about this,” he said turning back to you.

“I don’t know what you’re on about boss,” you grinned.

“That a girl,” he said before steering his wife off in search for food to sober her up.

You turned back to Jace, wide eyed as he sniggered at the interaction. “Well, that was fun,” before you could do anything else everyone began to shuffle back into the hall which had now pushed all the tables around the edges to create more of a dance floor. Viserys gave yet another speech before the music began.

While it wasn’t the music you and Jace would usually dance to he still insisted on dragging you out onto the floor. You and Jace were easily the youngest pair dancing. Aemond had taught you many of the dances he had been forced to learn in childhood, so it was surprisingly painless as you danced the Dornish Waltz.

As you danced however you could feel daemons eyes on you and when you looked you couldn’t help but smile at the way he watched you. However, there were another pair of eyes on you as you danced, and those ones were less forgiving.

When the dance ended daemon gave a slow clap as he approached you, taking your hand into his, “i’ve got her from here,” Daemon said, nodding for Jace to leave as another song began. The next song was dance of the dragons and it was easily your favourite one you had learned despite you being out of breath by the end, “You did perfect doll,” Daemon praised, giving you a brief kiss. However that much of a kiss seemed to be considered PDA by the way people looked at you.

For the rest of the night, you went between talking to and dancing with Jace, Daemon, and even Aemond who reluctantly gave you a dance. Aegon had asked for one, but Aemond had unceremoniously told him to fuck off making him retreat like a kicked puppy. Aemond also made sure to introduce you to a very sweet but very shy Heleana. You could feel ottos and Alicent’s death stares on you, especially when you danced with either of her children, but it was too busy for her to do anything about.

After much dancing and even more drinking, you found yourself sweaty and out of breath at the side of the dance floor. Daemon was off talking with Coryls while you hung out with Aemond when a girl, a very cute girl you mentally noted, approached Aemond with a warm hug that made his pale cheeks tinge red. Apparently it was one of his sisters’ friends she went to boarding school with. When Aly asked Aemond for a dance you practically answered yes for him, pushing him to show off his moves.

You meanwhile were buzzed, alone, and far too warm so you decided to step out for a few moments for some fresh air. Luckily for you just outside the door to the banquet hall was a balcony over facing the city that some people used to smoke but you used for some cool crisp air. The two men who were on there smoking left not long after you walked out leaving you alone to enjoy the noise of the city.

That was until you heard the glass door to the balcony open again. “I wondered if it was really you,” Ottos cold voice made you spin round on your heels leaving you face to face with the man who tormented you at the restaurant for months with his petty orders, “Im shocked you’re brave enough to show your face,”

“I should be going,” you muttered, trying to move past him but Otto blocked the door making you sigh, “Look I’m sorry about before but can I just get past- “

“You really think sorry will cut it? After you embarrassed me in front of my daughter,” he said, taking a few steps closer making you back up. All you could do was hope someone would walk past or to sneak past, but each move you made he copied, “Then now this. You show up to my family’s fundraiser uninvited looking like a tart,”

“I’m here with Daemon,” you practically spat out the words as you tried to push past. “He’ll be looking for me,”

Otto rolled his eyes, “Please that mans always drunk off his arse. Don’t act like I don’t know what you are,”

Your eyes narrowed at the man, stepping closer to him, “And what’s that?” You asked, smelling the whisky reeking from his breath.

“Just some whore,” before you could think you felt his cheek against your palm as a loud slap rang through the air. Your eyes widened, realising what you’d done as Otto roughly grabbed your wrist, “Don’t think we all can’t tell,”

“Father,” you heard the harsh whisper of Alicent’s voice before you saw her snake through the door, closing it quietly behind her, “What are you doing?” She hissed.

“Don’t you recognise her?” Otto asked, finally letting your wrist go and shoving you away.

Alicent tried to pull her father to the side, but he kept pushing her off, “Dad we’re in public,” she tried to reason with him as he continued his tyred.

As the two struggled you tried to rush away but as you reached for the door handle you saw daemon storming over to the balcony. “Why are you defending that gold digger?” Otto said as Daemon opened the door.

“What did you call her?” Daemon practically growled at Otto who finally moved on from Alicent to Daemon. You glanced over at Alicent, her face briefly contorted into some kind of sadness before she covered it again with a hard-line smile. “Go on say it again Hightower,” Daemon spat as he pushed at Ottos shoulders.

“She,” Otto said, pointing past Daemon, his finger wagging straight at you, “Is a gold digging whore,” he said the words slowly as if he was talking to a child, “And you-“ he said jabbing a finger into daemons chest, “are embarrassing the company by parading around some prostitute,”

Before you or Alicent could do anything, a loud cracking sound came from Ottos face as Daemons fist crashed down on the drunk. Otto stumbled back and part of you wondered whether Daemon was about to throw him from the balcony. Thankfully the doors were thrown open yet again but this time by the eldest Targaryen and two security men.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Viserys yelled, as much as an old man can, as you and Alicent backed into a corner, Alicent putting herself in front of you and for a moment you wondered if she cared. “Care to explain Daemon?” He said gesturing at his brother like a mad man.

“He was calling my date a prostitute,” Daemon said, his voice low and eerily calm. As he spoke you thought of a plan, silently but quickly switching the ring daemon had given you earlier from your right middle finger to your left ring finger.

Viserys paused for a moment, looking between you and Otto, “Brother you can’t understand how one might think- “

“I’m not a prostitute!” You said, finally speaking up for yourself and pushing past Alicent. “Or a gold digger or anything else,” you said as you put on your best indignant voice as you moved to stand by daemon, taking his right hand in your left, squeezing it quickly. Daemon glanced down, pausing for a moment when he saw the ring had switched.

Viserys paused, stammering for words, as a security guard checked out Otto and another tried to comfort Alicent, but she just pushed him off. Finally, Daemon looked up, raising your hand in his so that Viserys could see the ring, “She’s my fiancé you twat,” his spitting like venom but still the word fiancé sounded so nice off his tongue. “I was going to announce it tonight, but Hightower over here cornered her on a balcony to call her a slut,”

Otto tried to stutter for an answer but finally Viserys piped up, “She’s your-how long have you even known her, Daemon?”

“Two years,” he lied.

Before Viserys could keep questioning you continued the lie, “He came into the café I worked at before the Dragons Den and asked for my number,”

“We’ve been dating since,” Daemon said, expertly bouncing off your own lies. “I proposed last week and thought id share the good news with my brother but apparently not,” Daemon said, his face screwing up and for a moment you thought he should take up a career in acting.

“That’s the ring he proposed with?” Alicent asked indignantly, smelling a lie but unable to prove it.

You rolled your eyes before answering, “This is a temporary one, the real ones at the jewellers,”

“I bought the wrong size Alicent, hardly worth your father threatening my fiancé,” Daemon said as his arm linked around your waist.

Viserys sighed as he got in between his brother and wife, holding his hands up for peace, “Okay okay enough. Daemon I’m sorry we didn’t know. Otto- “Otto tried to pipe up, but Viserys raised a hand to silence him, “Is deeply sorry. Aren’t you otto?” Viserys shot him a nasty glare till otto reluctantly nodded. “And I’m sorry (Y/N),” Viserys said turning to look at you finally while you did your best to seem like you were bursting from excitement from getting away with the lie.

“I think its best if we leave,” Daemon said, holding his head high, “I trust you will deal with Otto on Monday considering this is a company event,” he said with a pointed look to his older brother.

“Yes of course,” Viserys said as he walked you and Daemon inside, leading down to the exit, “And I am happy for you brother. You two make quite the pair,”

Daemons eyes fell on you as he smirked, “I agree,” he said before bidding his brother goodbye. You tried to be nice with Viserys who looked exhausted from the whole interaction.

As Daemon reached into his pocket for his phone to call a car you stopped him, “Lets just walk,” you told him. Daemon squinted at you for a moment before finally nodding in agreement, taking you by the arm, “I know a 24/7 dinner we can try. It doesn’t have the same level of caviar,” you said in your best posh voice making daemon chuckle as you walked into the cool evening air, “but its good food,”

“Whatever you want love,” daemon said, kissing the top of your head as you walked.

As you walked you thought for a moment, your mind going back to the ring, “Daemon?” You said and he hummed in response, “If you wanted to propose, for real, I wouldn’t be totally opposed,”

Daemon glanced down at you, a smile playing on his lips, “I wouldn’t mind if you said yes,” he said before his eyes flickered away. His arm tightened around your waist, grinning as he did, “i’ll order the flower petals,”

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @delicious-xx @pet1t3 @skyesayshi @urmomsgirlfriend1 @dark-night-sky-99 @lantsovheiress@themotherofblood @avalyaaa @simbaaas-stuff @lunampacheco

#daemon targeryan #hotd daemon #daemon headcanon #daemon au #daemon x you #daemon x y/n #daemon targaryen x you #daemon targaryen #daemon targeryen x reader #Daemon targeryn imagine #modern daemon targeyen #modern daemon #modern daemon targaryen #House of the dragon #House of the dragon x reader #House of the dragon imagine #HOTD #HOTD imagine #hotd x reader #Modern HotD #Modern HotD imagine #sugar daddy daemon targaryen #Part two #Game of thrones #game of thrones imagine #Game of thrones x reader #Got #Got x reader #Got imagine

[mxlfoydraco]

hey so i have been diving back into the maruaders fandom and i love ur blog for that btw but im also reading A Lot of Fic and like. I have a pet peeve now and idk who else to complain to abt lmao. but basically its abt the Prank™️ and i kno everyone takes it as a big character moment for Sirius and i /get it/ esp since we have so little from canon for that era. But one thing that never comes up is how stupid it is for snape to FALL FOR IT????

literally like. your worst enemy who has actively fistfought u is like “oh u wanna see a WEREWOLF? Whose my BEST FRIEND? here you go :)” and not only does snape DO IT he does it ON THE NIGHT OF A FULL MOON??????? every single time i read a version of it im like, this castle is full of morons but GOD does snape take the cake. And i kno its still on sirius for telling him(tho the details are still v v sparse so…) but i just. i just cannot get over how bull headed and shortsighted and stupid snape is as well. And him holding a grudge over it in canon for DECADES as well just makes it worse for me like YOU got urself into this remus did literally nothing to u…… idk i just cant let go of this and had to tell someone 😭 hashtag snape played the prank™️ on himself i guess

Thanks for listening to my rant sirius is still the number 1 best dogfather 💞

AND he suspected that Remus was a werewolf, he was trying to prove it like… you’re canonically a smart student! you can build the “werewolf + full moon = bad” equation! and you’re taking your queue from SIRIUS, whomst i love but like… be for fucking real

i mean GOOD bc him acting a fool saved remus’ ass but. you do not get to hold a grudge and still try to ruin his life 20 years later

and JAMES saves your ass. embarassing! good!

like go brawl with sirius over it, he will happily do it, leave remus alone he is only but a wet noodle

#asks

[mike-haters-dni]

So while I'm Saying Shit, I also have a problem with this idea that El was upset that Mike wasn't saying I love you specifically because her love language is words of affirmation so she really needed to hear it? I mean, first of all I think the idea of love languages is mostly useful as a quick generalized way to discuss how we respond to and express affection—a messy nuanced human behavior thing that is hard to talk about, and the show is written with that nuance, but even then I don't think El particularly craves or requires words to feel loved anymore than anyone else does. I think in s4 she was really just confused about why her boyfriend was refusing to say the word 'love' under any circumstance to her? Especially after she heard him say it once already and then she said it back to his face in response so its like, he said he loves me before and I let him know I feel the same and now he won't say it again? Not even as a way to end letters—a normal thing people do for someone who means much less to them than she supposedly does to him sooooooooooo like what's the fucking deal? The contents of the letters sure implies he holds a lot of affection for her and he brings her flowers in her favorite colors and ok we're in love and then he signs 'from' on the card and its like ????? like even as the audience you're supposed to be confused lol like he clearly has some kind of hang up I wonder what it is? Then after El smashes a girl's face in she thinks "oh yeah, the hang up is that he actually hates me because I'm evil haha lemme just start projecting real quick" and then, you know, s4 happens. I mean, it's not like she doesn't value words at all, I just don't think her relationship to them is particularly tied to her trauma like people say, or if anything, maybe she values them less because that's all Brenner would ever give her? Like, perhaps the big Love Confession hits the hardest because it came after Mike and company spent a week or whatever driving across the entire western united states to save her from the government. Idk, something to chew on.

Honestly, if anyone's love language is words its Mike lmao he's the one whos constantly telling El how amazing she is. He's also desperately trying to tell her he loves her in like 5 scenes (arguably succeeding except for not saying the actual word in most of them) before he actually does like, he wants to so bad it almost comes spilling out of his mouth against his will (except for that one time it does ha) he's just terrified of doing so because it would essentially be ripping his entire beating heart out of his chest and handing it to this powerful-in-every-way girl on a silver platter for her to do whatever she wants with—like crushing it into a fine paste in front of his eyes, killing him instantly and preventing him from having the strength to love anything ever again. Like, the other half of the love language thing is that you also speak the love language, meaning you are more likely to show affection by doing the thing you want for other people, and Mike does this waaaaay more than El does for anyone actually (something I would love to see her do more in s5 lowkey. Like, she was at a severe disadvantage before and was too busy dealing with her own shit to have a ton of emotional energy for anyone else so it makes sense, but we're matured now. I think now is the time for a heart-to-heart that goes both ways u kno).

If I wanted to be cute, I could argue that both Mike and El's main love language is actually acts of service. They're both little heroes who jump at the chance to do anything for the people they love with no regard for their own personal wellbeing. Also, adorably, the thing that gets them back together in s3 is Mike saving El from Billy, which El responds to by helping him and Lucas with the vending machine. One offering of m&ms later and we're back baybee it's the quiet understanding that no matter what they'll always be there for each other for meeee

If I'm not being cute I'm saying the idea that everyone has a main 'love language' is bullshit and you're gonna appreciate different things at different times and people are not that easily categorized but it's still a good jumping off point for discussion so—

Anyway El saves the world and Mike saves her and they're dying in each other's arms thank you for your time <3

#mileven #mom and dad vibes for s5 pleeeeease honestly

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#remember when i could draw? when i had time to draw and color? #bleh. im just sorta exhausted and dont feel good and starting to get overwhelmed by all that i need to get done #weirdest version of being sick ive had. i dont have a fever but i feel hot and my throat hurts and i have to take deep breaths but not #really coughing so im like??? am i sick??? #ugh. i dunno ive been going to sleep at like 9pm and its only 7 and im so tired but i have a paper to read #maybe ill read it in the morning and not do pigment analysis tomorrow... but i wanna see those god damn pigment >:-( #i dunno. im also just kinda frustrated bc im running into things that my mum was in control of the info on #so its like: well i cant access my fasfa account. i dont kno where my vaccine info is. i dont kno if my mum had uterine fibroids before it #all turned to cancer. i dunno. im just tired #also i bitched out on a pap smear bc it hurt too bad. so ive had a day. #but ive got a birth control perception again. i dont wanna take it but like i cant really aford to go out of focus and go out of commission #via pain. so like i guess i gotta. ugh. it better not fuck with my medication #hopefully ill wake up tomorrow and all will be well in the world #unrelated

[skayafair]

Scared Vi

The thing I was finally able to put into a thought and into words after staring at gifs for 2 hours straight: throughout all the post-timeskip Arcane Vi is fucking scared of everything that's going on around her. AND she's on the brink of losing it pretty often. I need to rewatch (no idea when I'll be brave enough to ride this rollercoaster again) but I didn't notice it while watching, because, WELL, there was already TOO MUCH to take in, so some more subtle details escaped me. I've caught that Vi is very vulnerable in her honesty, openness and straightforwardness, but that wasn't all to it, and it bothered me! Because all three don't ooze the vulnerability 24/7 and that's what Vi looks like to me nearly all the time!

So I was wondering.

And here's the answer. She's been suddenly released out of her cell into the world that is now completely unknown to her. Yes the air of freedom is great, and she enjoys it, but at the same time there's always this frightened undertone.

She's constantly on the edge.

Not in the least because when things that used to be familiar, like your home, ones you used to know like the back of your hand, change but not completely, it's the worst trap of all, the most confusing and anxiety inducing. How much of what you remember is still the same? How much changed? Can you trust its exterior even if it looks the same? Or would it betray you in the worst possible moment? How do new things work? How do they work WITH the old things? I've experienced it once coming back to my former workplace that changed quite a lot but no one bothered to fill me in so I was piecing together the information for a YEAR. And I might not be the brightest but I'm not dumb either. I'm pretty good with systems. It was BAD.

So I can't imagine how much worse and disoriented Vi must have felt. And Caitlyn took her out of jail to SHOW HER AROUND. Having no idea how the world Vi used to know so well changed just in several years. So she's on a look out all the time. And her eyes, her expression betrays her put up exterior of confidence and maybe even arrogance, leaking this anxiety and straight up fear almost all the time.

She looks like a frightened, lost little girl. And when she doesn't, she looks like a desperate teenage girl who tries to punch her way out of every problem because she's backed into a corner and that's the only way she knows, even if it never helps. (No seriously, the only time it helped was against Silco's thugs and EVEN THEN they weren't completely dealt with and kept causing problems straight up to the bridge fighting scene. Vi's fists kept her alive and safer but they never SOLVED anything.)  

I think the way she looks just SCREAMS fear and anxiety when she and Powder/Jinx fight back to back after the torch scene. Jinx looks like she's completely in her element, she knows these guys, she's been in situations like this time after time. It's habitual. She's very confident and almost careless there, moves freely, she knows what she's doing. She might even enjoy it. Vi, on the opposite... Vi, who's all about loose body language, free movement and such - nearly curls up into a ball against Jinx's back, keeping her fists and elbows close to herself. Vi NEVER looked like this again, I think. I... believe she was the most thrown off kilter back then. She finally found her most treasured and the only remaining piece of her past - her sister, and sure, lil Powpow changed, she had to survive, but she's still Vi's little sister!

Right?..

Wrong. Powder-Jinx back then is the quintessence of the trap Zaun is to Vi now: familiar pieces are all there, they're recognizable even if a bit changed, but you never know what lurks under the surface.

And gods does Jinx just demolish every last bit of the ground Vi was standing on. It's not even when Jinx goes full on unhinged, it's when she simply starts blasting bullets all around. When she fights and she's confident in what she does. Vi doesn't know this girl. Vi doesn't know this gang flying around. I bet she doesn't even know this TECHNOLOGY because the world made a whole leap technologically while she was stuck in her cell isolated from pretty much everything. It's like a literal time skip for her. And she doesn't know what to trust, so she can't trust anything no matter how much she wants to. And she HAS to want it, because she looked genuinely hopeful fresh out of Stillwater. Before she saw what her home turned into. Silco really did bring the monster out of it, not just himself or Jinx or shimmer junkies. The whole city. So Vi looks small, and frightened, and I think she's even panicking back in that scene.

She's ready to snap at any moment.

It's very interesting to me, because she looks tough and very mentally healthy on the surface but boooy are there mountains hidden underneath.

Vi does snap, actually. Several times. Her voice cracks as she's trying to convince Ekko she's THE Vi, same she used to be. She charges at Sevika TWICE. I think second time was much worse btw. She literally downs a drink IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT - I don't think it was out of mental stability. And, well, the cry in the end. She won, and it helped nothing again. Even her mental state. Another fragile moment with Vi is the way she looks around her sister. Vi is confident and action-charged by nature, she's energetic and isn't shy to take up space. So she never looks small... except when she's around Jinx. She's drowning in guilt, and this guilt is spilling out.

Interestingly enough, scenes when Vi DOESN'T have this scared/guilty/anxious/desperate look is around Cait. She's either playful, or actually confident, or even RELAXED. Which is... wow, all things considered. Part of it is a put up facade, of course, but only in the beginning. The ship sails itself huh...

A lot of people pointed out Caitlyn is about future in Vi's life centered around the past, but I think what's more important is that Cait is about the present. Plus, she's a familiar - an enforcer, a topside - turned unfamiliar in a GOOD way.

Gods once again I'm baffled at the level Arcane is thought through. These are subtle, small details, expressions that aren't exposed or accentuated like many other ones. They are underlying, but once you notice them it's a whole new tapestry unfolding right before your eyes.

As you can see, I'm very normal about Arcane and Vi in particular, yup, totally cool 😌👌✨

#yes I've watched Arcane just like a week ago what of it #sorry if it's been mentioned multiple times by now #I only watched several essays on YT and none talked about this #so #I'm kinda hyperfixated on Vi as you can probably see #this insane amount of work the creative team put into the characters #gods I'm so glad I can witness this masterpiece #arcane #vi arcane #jinx arcane #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane

[cogbreath]

if i live i gotta make life changes let me be honest with u guys ive not been drinking alcohol meant for humans consumption ive been drinking dilluted cleaning alcohol because i really do need substances to ease my pains in life but i cant drive no license and i ran out of the shared weed supply me and my mom use and im really too shy to confide in her like "yeah so basically i cwnt live without drugs" which IS stupid because she is a former addict herself she would understand and not be mad at me but tbh im a very private person irl i dont like to verbally talk to people about things at all because it causes me a lot of struggle and distress to and irl im not really a verbal person. im not NONVERBAL entirely but i genuinely do struggle with speaking as an act so yeah. its a lot of shit. anyway cuz of all that i resorted to drinking dilluted fucking chemicals sbout it. fuckigng stupid i promise you guys if i survive this i wont do it again or if i do out of desperation it wil be because i tried rlly elly hard not to but needed an escape. idk if u guys entirely understand these sorts of circumstances i feel like the wider tumblr userbase isnt intimate with this kind of thing but i also know you guys generally want to be good ppl and i understand your lack of familiarity with this topic doesnt mean u hate me. nd we all have been taught awful things about drug use and addicts. pls kno that when shit like this happens it's not cuz we r selfish or stupid or anything like that its because we are fuckin desperate and whatever it is in our life be it mental illness physical illness etc, is hurting us to make us resort to this shit. yes it was a stupid act i i feel bad as fuck right now for what ive done to myself and my body and i worry also that if i survive it , that it migut fuck up my future, cuz the liver damage may jeapordize my ability to transition. and idk maybe this is sxary for you guys too maybe you feel uncomfortable hearing about it at all but honestly i dotn have anyone else you guys mean a lot to me and im including you guys because i care about you and i feel you care about me.

[n0ct0urn1quet]

pov talking shit abt my sister in vc when my door is ever so slightly open and she probably heard me so now im all embarrassed to go out into the living room out of fear that she'll be like "so what were u talking about in there"

#i want to move out so bad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it here #peppr i kno ur gonna b online in 2 seconds i am having thoughts and i WILL make a gaypos in a second im just ohgh. OUghhg! #thers a lot of things i did not say in the vc but only because if i said too much my sister 100% woulda came i n n said something but' #anyways i just . oh i am so frustrated. its not kyle he isnt doing anything its just theres people in my House at all Times Now #and after living on our own for over a year my mom n i were used to it just being me n her and me being home alone all the time #but now theres people here and its genuinely fuicking with my mental state!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #its stressful. its just very very stressful #genuinely i kind of want to come n visit u just for a chance to get out of the hosue i Never Leave The House Anymore Ever #but like kitty seems to be doing . better. kitten's still a bitch n he hisses at kitty a lot but kitty seems to be doing alrite which #makes me feel moer comfy about coming to potentially see u sometime but idk it all depends on my mom and.... #its. expensive! we may not be able to rly afford it honestly. but my moms making plans t go visit my brother like This Week so idk #maybe something could work out . but idk man #my mom has been moody late ly bc of rob and also because of russ (shes talking to him aain. i dont know why but i can tell that he #has a completely negative affect on her so idk why she's still trying to fucking make things work out. bc its not gonna fucking work out) #but its just . yeah. moms in a bad mood all the time and i dont think shes' gotten more than like3 hours of sleep a night so. great! #thank you robynne for making us go practically fucking broke i hope you move out soon but i fully expect you to be here til next summer. #fucking grow up lmao #anyways! sure hope she doesnt see this but if she does like the last vent i made about her on my other tumblr a few years back : sorry ! #anyways im gonna gaypos now <3 i prommy im in a good mood rn i am just . oh she is just frustrating i want to move out SO bad

[indirecticn]

just as info... because im a bitch who has to over explain everything...

i am on like, not semi hiatus but def. semi slow down for a bit and here's why. under the cut is a lot of boring work garbage, feel free to ignore lol

ok SO here's the thing

i think i mentioned it before but like a month or two ago my company fired five people, four of which were like directly in my operations group. we are a bulk liquid e.xport team that specializes in fle.xi bags being loaded like... well, with bulk liquids lmao. its not super hard but it is TEDIOUS as fuck what i have to do on a daily basis.

i have direct contact with suppliers and traders purchasing from suppliers and i coordinate the full movement of product so basically customer tells me: i need X amt of product moved from point a in the usa to point b in the world. they specify, often, the particulars of like.. what steamship lines to use based on rate, or like on end destination preferences, and they expect us to typically coordinate the trucker to pick up food grade containers that then live load or transload at a supplier's plant and then get ingated back into whatever port terminal to get on a vessel and make specific arrival times at their end destination.

like idk some of u might even be in this industry too, so u kno what i mean.

the PROBLEM is that i am expected to get the booking with the ssl, coordinate the trucker, make sure the product gets loaded both within the customer's expected window + within a window where containers can be ingated against said booking's vessel, with OUT additional cost (so things can't sit on yards and get storage or detention for drivers or have additional legs in the trucking which means more money to pay trucker ect ect) and i have to load the amount the customer requests AND

Sometimes the product has to go on rail and that has specific regulations and sometimes the product is hazardous and has to be pre approved on the SSL to even be booked but the customer sent a request asking to load the next week so they get mad you dont get a confirmation within the same day because the haz approval has to be granted by the transhipment port half way across the world too because SOME ports don't take haz and some do but only certain kinds and and and and....

sometimes there is a vessel congestion in the ports or bad weather that shuts down ports or plants, or sometimes drivers have mechnical issues or just miss their fkn appts to load or show up with wrong equipment or ... or there is no container your driver can find because the ssl is out of them at that particular port location or...

yeah.

and so take that and then give me one account that is incredibly picky, sends requests last minute, mostly of randomly haz bullshit, and expects u to lick their boots....

and then another account where i am expected to maintain a perfect constant flow of bookings out of four different ports and the amount expected is like... ohhh 28 a week out of one, 10 out of another, 20 out of two others... and THEN that same customer sends you 75 FUCKING RAILCARS TO ONE SINGLE RAILSPUR/TRUCKER THAT CAN ONLY TRANSLOAD TWO A DAY, MAYBE FOUR TOPS, AND and your boss told them that there would be NO storage charged back to them so you have to now hope to god all the railcars dont show up at once because then you have to meet that four day vessel window and at MOST can load out like 10 of the railcars, if that, if you are lucky with perfect conditions but WHOOPS ALL 75 ARE THERE AT ONCE SO ACTUALLY fuck your life you get storage on 65 railcars and it shows on YOUR account that you lost money

and also?

you have to do the customs filing and documentation for destination arrival and have a window for that too and must have the info perfect or there is charges for fucking it up or containers getting stuck in customs at the destination...

yeah.

my co workers are overwhelmed and they have like maybe 60 containers on their desk a month?

my fucking dumb ass customer gives me a total currently of 450.

and yes, they fired people so i dont have a lot of back up until they hire someone new to take over this single stupid account so i can focus on others.

ive been working from like 6am to 7pm if not later because of this. im looking at other jobs but nothing pays as well currently and i technically like my team its just frustrating because ... yeah.

i hate this industry. i haaaaate it. supposedly im good at it but i dont care. i just want to survive having to pay rent or car payments and getting food, you know?

and i want to be able to do what i love which is write... and this job is melting my brain and just got exponentially more ugly within the last two weeks.

so anyway thats where im at and until i either change jobs or my desk chills out or they hire someone OR i get back on my adhd meds (lol that is really NOT helping to be off of them) im going to be slow.

but whatever, yall are great and i know those that want to will stick around so i appreciate you

thanks for coming to my ted talk bye

#ooc #no i mean like a huge work vent #i have to get it out there #aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #ok bye

[mythos-soup]

Hi! Do you have any hcs about the Aztec Gods (from someone who is, if you so much as view my blog, more than a little addicted to them)? Thanks!

(btw I love ur blog)

Boy o boi do i aso uhm strap in i guess (btw thank you so much what dijsfhudsfb 🥹💖) in no particular order here we go:

Tezcatlipoca > I think out of the four tezcatlipocas he is the most cocky judging by the fact he was the first sun and turned the humans into monkeys when they got too hubris-y >My dude is such a drama queen, always has something to gossip about thats why jaguars are so big..... they're full of secrets.. >Does things for the shits and giggles like the other trickster gods >"cheats" a lot but not in a Zeus way more of a "We established this by dating me you know what you've gotten into" way Quetzacoatl >Kind but if you get on his nerves you have absolutly Yee'd your last Haw >Responsible but still just a silly guy ya kno? knows when to un-silly-fy when needed >Likes the humans despite all their flaws >Has a couple grudges but rarely lets them get in the way

Xipe-Totec >Generous just and kind dude >Calmer and more soft-spoken than his brothers >More likely to be passive-agressive if you annoy him instead of being very direct ^If you fuck up real bad he will mess you up though >I think he has a noble personality and is ready to help anyone that needs him

Huitzilopochtli >Humming birds to him are like jaguars to Tezcatlipoca >Ambitious and Loyal fella >Not afraid to fuck you up if need be >Doesn't talk too much but more like he just doesn't want to than him prefering to just listen or not having much to say like Xipe-Totec

(pt.1 ill do more soon maybe like tomorrow but its getting late here and my brain doesnt like functioning when its tired lol)

#classical mythology #mythology #aztec gods #aztec mythology #asks #ask #hc #headcanon #hcs #mesoamerica #mesoamerican mythology #answered #quetzalcoatl #huitzilopochtli #the four tezcatlipocas #tezcatlipoca #xipetotec #xipe totec

[videostak]

i always find myself feeling guilty abt my relationship w/ my mom like thinking maybe i think too negatively of her in my head and if i only tried to level w/ her maybe everything would geet resolved really easily but like then i remember she literally lies to every member of her family and that we all have compleete different relationships w/ her and different things we're sympathetic and not sympathic abt and she lies to every single one of us. the amount of times shes tried to act like shes taking the first step to quitting drinking only to be caught the next day casually drinking and the amount of times my older sister has cried to her telling her to stop for my mom to act like she finally understands just to drink again is insane. i dont even kno what to do at this point anymore since like she just lies straight to my face and everyone elses shamelessly. like once i literally caught a half empty thing of wine (she gets these lil juicebox type ones cause theyre easier for her to hide) and when i told her hey stop drinking she was immediately like "no im not drinking" then i showed it to heer and she was like "oh" and just now i found more on the side of her bed. the fact that she buys these beforehand and stores them up to is just so fucked. like if it was like spur of the moment going to a bar to get shitfaced in response to smthn thatd be its own problem but the fact she plans in advance to drink all while telling us shes done is so fucking bleak. and her rooms such a mess and at first i was like oh man that sucks but like is hard to control and clean sometimes but now am realizing or atleast thinking that she enjoys her room being a mess cause it gives her more places to hide her drinks. im rly bad at cleaning and so much of her room is just clothes she needs to get rid of and stuff i cant get rid of so like i rly cant just go clean it and have that solve everything but thats honestly my best bet. it sucks going from like angsty teen not liking/being annoyed at your mom to justhaving to see all this. i mean im an adult now but i feel bad for my two sisters who genuinely enjoy her company when shes not drunk like the amount of times shes lied right to their face and ignored how uncomfortable they told her she was making them is so insane.

[ayyy-pee]

Chapter 4 - Bedpost

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Kofi

Pairing: Suguru Geto x Female Reader

Summary: You and Suguru try to resist ripping each other's heads off.

Genre:**College AU**

Story Warning: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Toxic Behavior, Jealousy, Jealous Behavior, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex, Breeding Kink, Creampie, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior, Virgin Reader, Yandere Suguru, Emotional Cheating

Suguru Art by: Ilameys

You were trying to focus on your French lecture. You really were, but your mind couldn’t stop thinking about what you were going to wear tonight on your date with Satoru. You were only going to be having dinner at his (and the monkey’s) place but you still wanted to impress him. Should you wear a dress? Maybe something more casual? What did Satoru like? For once, you wished you could ask that idiot what his friend was into so you could make sure you made a good impression. Knowing that asshole, he probably would’ve told you the wrong thing and had you dressed like a pirate standing outside of his apartment later. The thought made you chuckle quietly to yourself.

You scribbled down your lecture notes as the professor continued. You jumped slightly when you felt your phone vibrate in your lap. You smiled, already knowing who it was before you opened your messages.

Satoru: cant wait to see u tonight :)

Satoru: what do u wanna eat?

Satoru: actually dont answer that. i wanna surprise u

Satoru: wait actually ur not allergic to anything right?

Your smile spread into a beaming grin. It wasn’t like you knew Satoru well at all, but even you could tell he was nervous. The rapid texts coming in one after the other was a dead giveaway. It was cute though. You shook your head, quickly replying under your desk.

You: lol breatheee Satoru. im not picky and no allergies

You: cant wait to see u too

You supposed you didn’t need Suguru to find out what to wear tonight. You could just ask Satoru directly. Right? That was fine? Fuck it. You were doing it.

You: weird question. what should i wear?

You watched the three little dots blink at the bottom of the screen for what felt like forever. You shouldn’t have asked. You really shouldn’t have asked. What kind of question was that anyway? You couldn’t pick something to wear? Were you really so desperate for his approval that you needed him to dictate what you wore? You hadn’t seriously dated anyone before, so you weren’t really sure how to do this. School was pretty much your boyfriend. You never made time for this kind of thing. You were pulled from your thoughts when your phone vibrated again.

Satoru: sorry i wanted to make a creepy joke so bad but i didnt want u to get the wrong impression. Wear whatever u want, love. im sure ur gonna look great no matter what <3

He was so sweet. You wondered how he could be friends with someone like Suguru who spent most of his time being a miserable ass to everyone around him. Seriously, any time you thought about trying to make peace with the guy, he said or did something to piss you off. You hoped he wouldn’t be at home tonight. You didn’t want him to ruin this for you. You typed back to Satoru quickly.

You: will your roommate be home?

He replied quickly this time.

Satoru: lol u kno u can just call him suguru

You: no thx.

Satoru: i dont get u guys but no its just me and u at the apt tonight. that ok?

You frowned, your stomach dropping as you read Satoru’s text. What was that? Sadness? Five seconds ago, you were praying he wouldn’t be anywhere near the apartment so you could be alone with Satoru. This was actually more than you could ask for. And yet, you couldn’t ignore the nagging disappointment you were feeling. You shot back a quick text to Satoru.

You: perfect :) see you tonight

You sighed, resuming your note taking. This was going to be a good night. You would make sure it was a good night. Suguru could not ruin this night for you. Satoru was going to treat you to dinner and you would not even see a glimpse of Suguru. That was a good thing, right?

----------------------

Once your classes were over for the day, you moved across the courtyard to head back to your apartment. It was the packed with students lounging in the grass. There were picnic tables scattered around where students were eating, mingling, studying. The beautiful spring weather made this place the perfect hangout spot. You wandered through the students laying in the grass, mentally arranging outfits in your closet when you heard your name being called. You glanced around, eyes landing on Utahime sitting at one of the picnic tables, waving you over. Next to her sat king of the apes himself, staring boredly off to the side with his elbow propped up on the table, head in his hand.

“Y/n, come here! I wanna talk to you before your date!” She howled across the courtyard. And it could have just been your imagination, but you could have sworn that even from the other side of the courtyard, you could see Suguru’s jaw tick hard.

You took your time making your way over there, careful not to step on any of the many people splayed out on the ground soaking up the sun. You kept your eyes locked on Utahime and Suguru as they chatted idly to each other. Suguru must have said something particularly hilarious because Utahime threw her head back to laugh, grabbing his arm to steady herself. Your stomach flipped. Why? You had no idea, but you found yourself moving just a little bit faster, your foot clipping a student in the side with a loud “ouch!” coming from below.

“I’m sorry!” you yelled back, hurrying over to the table. You threw your bag down on the bench and took a seat across from them, Utahime coming down from her giggle fit.

“What’s so funny?” You tried to ask casually, like your blood wasn’t boiling for whatever reason.

“Oh, nothing…” Utahime sighed happily. Your eyes were glued to her hand still on Suguru’s bicep as it slid down his arm slowly and landed on the table. “So?!” She started and you quickly averted your gaze, hoping she hadn’t seen you staring. Suguru on the other hand, had assumed his previous position of staring off to the side, not bothering to acknowledge you.

“So, what?”

“Don’t act stupid!” Utahime scolded. Suguru snorted at this.

“I don’t think she’s acting.” He muttered, still turned away from you and Utahime. You ignored him.

“Sugu, don’t be mean.” She chided and the familiar use of his nickname made you ball your hands into fists under the table. “I’m talking about your date with Satoru! Are you excited?”

Should you be talking about this in front of Suguru? Wait, why did you fucking care?

“Yes. We were texting about it earlier and he’s so sweet, Hime. He wants to surprise me with dinner and he’s cooking. He sounds just as excited as me from what he was texting me. This is so embarrassing, though. I asked him what I should wear.” In your peripheral, you saw Suguru shift slightly but he remained turned away from you.

Utahime giggled. “What did he tell you? A typical Satoru answer? Something sexy, short, preferably easy to take off?”

You blinked. Is that what he usually tells girls?

“Ah, no. He told me…one sec-” you pulled your phone out and read the text from Satoru back to Utahime…and Suguru since he wasn’t going anywhere apparently. “-and I quote: sorry, I wanted to make a creepy joke so bad but I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression. Wear whatever you want, love. I’m sure you’re gonna look great no matter what…And then he put a little heart emoji.”

Now Utahime blinked, her brown eyes wide and eyebrows lifting. “Wow…that sounds very unlike Satoru actually.” Again, you noticed Suguru shift next to Utahime. Whatever he was looking at must have been the most interesting thing in the world because his eyes were locked onto it.

Utahime leaned forward on the table. “Wear that little sage green dress in your closet. The silk one with the slit up your thigh!”

“Ooh, I forgot about that one. I’ll wear it!” You agreed.

“Yes! And it’s loose enough on the thighs for easy access for Satoru.” Your cheeks heated up immediately. Utahime lowered her voice an octave, a devilish grin flashing across her features. “Do you think you’ll fuck Satoru tonight?”

The hair on the back of your neck stood straight up as you felt the lighthearted atmosphere instantly shift into something much, much heavier. Your eyes slid over from Utahime’s to Suguru beside her who had suddenly pivoted his body to face you, his eyes glued to yours. Those deep brown eyes bore into yours so intensely, you had to look away.

“Stop staring, monkey. I don’t have any bananas with me.” You had to bring some type of normalcy back. Suguru knew little to nothing about you or your personal life – his only knowledge pertaining to your academics – yet here you sat with your roommate gushing about his best friend and the…intimate plans of the night ahead of you. You didn’t need him making it more awkward than it already was.

Suguru continued his staring, putting his head back in his palm as his lips curled into a wicked smirk.

“Oh, I’m just interested to hear if you’re going to fuck Satoru tonight or not.” You look at him again.

“Why is that any of your business?”

“Just curious. For someone who prides themselves on being so smart, you’re actually really fucking stupid if you fuck Satoru. But, you’re right. It actually isn’t my business.”

“And yet, here you are…making it your business. Say what the fuck is on your mind.” He doesn’t say anything, just sits there with the same intense stare, peering into your soul. “Speak, monkey.” You gritted out.

“I mean, it’s your choice. If you want to be another notch in Satoru’s bedpost, that’s up to you. I’m just saying, if let your pretty boy distract you you’ll be falling behind in your classes and debate team. Actually, this might work out for me if you and pretty boy do hook up.” He shrugs, sticking his tongue out at you through a cruel smile that doesn’t reach anywhere near his eyes.

“Pretty boy? I didn’t know you looked at Satoru that way, Suguru.” You match his cruel smile with your own, loving the way he tenses up at you addressing him by name for the first time since you’ve known each other. “Worried his good looks overshadow you and your chimp face?”

Suguru’s brows furrowed and he sat up straight. “Monkey this, monkey that. I’m getting so fucking bored with that one.”

“And I’m getting so fucking bored of your unwarranted opinions on what I’m doing.”

“And just like all of his other whores, you’re a one night stand away from Satoru being fucking bored of you in a couple of hours.”

You opened your mouth to reply only to be interrupted by Utahime’s nervous chuckle breaking through the tension. “Haha…You guys…maybe bring it down a little? You’re kind of yelling…” She glances around nervously and you follow suit, seeing quite a few eyes on you. You realize then that you’re breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling rapidly, your heart pounding in your ears. Suguru looks to be about in the same condition as you as he takes in your surroundings.

Snatching your bag from the seat, you stood abruptly, glaring hard down at Suguru. He glared right back. You would never be able to have a decent conversation with this monster. No matter what you did, no matter where you went, he would be there to shit on your mood and you were sick of it.

“I think you’re underestimating the chemistry between me and Satoru and I can’t wait to prove it to you. This date will go great whether I fuck him or not, but I think maybe I will.” You said quietly. You didn’t miss the way Suguru’s jaw clenched at this. “I will see him tonight regardless of your warnings and I will invade every corner of your space in that apartment just to watch you fucking squirm with irritation. I will continue to best you in every class we have together and then I will go home --” you dragged out the word ‘home’ and grinned when Suguru’s nostrils flared. “—to Satoru’s open arms while you cry in your room and waste away into nothing but mediocrity.”

Through gritted teeth, Suguru slowly speaks. “If you think you’ll be anything more to Satoru than a pair of legs to slide between, then you really are a fucking moron.”

You recoiled at the insult. While Suguru had called you many names, you did not fail to notice he called everyone else he deemed unworthy a moron - except you. And for some reason, this hurt.

“Fuck you.” You breathed shakily, your voice coming out just barely above a whisper.

“Think I’ll leave that job to Satoru.” He replied without missing a beat.

You stood there, scowling down at him. Your mind was racing so fast you couldn’t think of a response to that. He was going to have the last word and right now, you really didn’t care. The anger was overtaking you and you could feel your eyes beginning to burn as tears tried to escape. You said nothing, instead you turned on your heel and stormed off to your apartment to get ready for what you would make sure was an incredible date in spite of Suguru fucking Geto.

Taglist: @sacvh

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jjk fic #geto suguru #getou suguru #getou suguru smut #getou suguru x y/n #jealousy #getou smut #getou x reader #suguru #gojo #satoru #nanami #suguru geto #jujutsu geto #jujutsu kaisen suguru #suguru geto fanfic #suguru geto fic #suguru smut #suguru jjk #getou #suguru getou #toxic suguru #toxic relationship #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo x reader #gojo x oc

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Me internally, everytime I have to agree to let someone do something nice for me: haha my schedule has been disturbed *bursts into tears*

#its frustrating bc my brain keeps me locked into these patterns that drive me insane #but if someone comes in with something disruptive from a place of good intentions its like oh boy u dont understand the amount of stress #youve just Subjected me to. bc i kno the the anguish will outweigh the enjoyment bc that's usually how it goes #so my brain is like no nonnonono say no but ppl dont understand that #they get annoyed when you try to turn away nice things so i just have to grin and bear it to not make them feel bad #which does not feel good #this time i got out of it tho bc i was standing in my kitchen sobbing inconsolablly and i was like actually fuck this #and my boss gave me an out when she texted me so i was like fuck this #bc i dont wanna celebrate paper submission and phd acceptance. theyre just things that happened whats the point in celebrating? ive got #better things to do but thats not the point ugh #i just need a lazer that beams my thoughts into ppls heads so they can just understand my brain #unrelated #me