#2015 was truly a simpler time

[feeisamarshmallow]

on becoming a one direction fan in the pandemic; or, life is love and loss and i can never be 17 again

Written late 2021.

I've spent most of the pandemic retreating into a hidey-hole of nostalgia. I spent two weeks watching Magic School Bus on Netflix in August. I cried last spring while listening to the VeggieTales Jonah Overboard Sing-Along Soundtrack. Throughout the fall, I revisited my favourite 2010s British YouTubers. I've been searching for anything to help me feel like the world was simpler and less scary and things were going to be okay.

It's been a double-whammy for me, because I'm also turning 25 this year. For the first time in my life, there is a generation of adults who are younger than me, and it's making me feel very nostalgic for my own teenagehood. Those experiences when you're between the ages of 16 and 20 are so intense and feel so singular and important and everlasting and unchanging. It's very weird to come to terms with the fact that people younger than me today will not be shaped by the same things that I was.

Enter my latest nostalgic rabbit-hole: One Direction.

I was certainly a fan of this British boy band back in their hey-day, but I was quiet about it and too embarrassed to even admit it to myself. (My friend and I went to see the 1D movie under the guise of "taking her little sister"). I was far too insecure to admit that I had a mainstream, "girly" interest as a teenager. I was focused on school and extracurriculars and I truly didn't think I could be someone who was smart and serious *and* liked One Direction. This was an immature perspective on my part, but I do think most of my insecurity was the result of the way society devalues things that young women like, but I digress.

When One Direction first formed in 2010, the members ranged in age from 16 to 19, which felt much older than me at age 14. But when I revisited the band as an adult, that two-to-five year age gap doesn't feel that big at all. They're like....my peers. In between being amused by the 2010s fashion and cringing at the terrible interviews and being fascinated by the fan-made compilations on YouTube, I just kept thinking about how they all came of age over the past ten years just like me. And although I didn't wake up one day and find myself in the most popular band in the world with millions of devoted (and over-devoted) fans, I think the period of late adolescence is intense for everyone. 

I also feel the need to interject here and mention that I really like a lot of One Direction's music. They're great songs! They brought a rock-driven edge to pop music at a time when that was not the dominant sound at all. What Makes You Beautiful should go down in history as one of the best pop hits of all time. Perfect has this really beautiful subversion of the previously goofy lyrics and premise when Harry Styles delivers his quiet, heartfelt verse towards the end of the song. And Midnight Memories wouldn't sound out of place on Classic Rock radio (though I'm not sure the world is ready to have that conversation yet).

One Direction put out music and toured non-stop from their break-through at the X-factor in 2010 up until March 2015. Anyone who was slightly aware of the pop culture landscape will remember the outcry when Zayn Malik left the band at that time, although they would go on to tour without him and release one last album. Zayn would later talk about the anxiety and eating disorder he was experiencing that influenced his decision to leave, in addition to his growing unhappiness in the band.

In hindsight, I really can't believe 1D lasted with all the original members for as long as it did. They were five teenagers who were strangers to each other. Who weren't even sure they were going to make it onto the X-factor, who were made into a band by outside forces, caught the attention of a young female audience seemingly overnight and just...never went back to their previous lives. But then again, on a much, much smaller scale isn't that what happens to a lot of us? One day we move away from home and we can really never return to our childhood lives? Hasn't everyone formed strong friendships not so much from shared interests but shared proximity during the turmoil of young adulthood?

The fact that Zayn left the band, and not on great terms either, really adds to the nostalgia of watching early 1D videos. You can watch early videos of the band members joking around and the friendship between all five of them feels, if not deep, then at least genuine. And there's no way the band would've worked as well as it did for as long as it did if the members didn't genuinely get along, at least most of the time. There's a real pain in revisiting old One Direction videos and realizing that things will never be that way again.

Even if 1D has a reunion, I would be extremely surprised if Zayn were involved, and I'm not going to lie, there's something about that that makes me really sad. You just can’t unbreak what was broken over those five tumultuous years of One Direction. I guess it's such a tangible reminder that you can't return to the past. Whether it holds good or bad memories for you, whether or not I spend hours during a pandemic filling my brain with nostalgic media from my youth, I can never be 17 again.

There's a lot of focus on whether or not the 1D boys are still friends with one another. And I think a lot of fans, especially younger ones, take the limited interactions they have with each other as proof that the 1D guys aren't really friends anymore. And honestly? Some of them probably aren't close friends. But I think as you grow up, you realize that sometimes friendships fade not because you care less, but because growing up just makes that happen. It's one of the first lessons you learn as you reach adulthood, I think. As you move to new cities, new schools, new jobs, even new countries. There are people that have a profound impact on your life, who mean a lot to you, and you still have to let them go when life takes you separate ways.

Falling down a rabbit-hole of One Direction means having to let One Direction go. Having to accept that the band happened in the past, and cannot, and perhaps should not, be recreated in the future. And when I'm accepting that, I guess what I'm really accepting is that I have to let go of my life in the past, and I have to let myself move into the future, as scary as that may be. 

#here's the thing i was talking about in the tags! #one direction #one direction meta #fee writes stuff

[laventadorn]

I read the last chapter in one breath with the thought of how happy I am to see the update coming out so soon! And then, for the sake of interest, I looked at how often the chapters were updated in 2013-2015 (oh, an innocent summer child) and caught such acute nostalgia... How much simpler life was then, how much we didn't appreciate it, and then realized when the world collapsed in full, and all we had to do was just spin in this cycle and try not to drown in the storm of our own experiences. This job is literally the only thing that makes me not drown in my own thoughts and for a while just go back to the period when everything was fine. Thank you for that!

we were truly so innocent then.... let us all climb into our time capsule of this fic and maybe not come out cuz it's fucked up out there

<3 <3 <3 <3

#laventadorn replies

[tecorbtech]

React Native App Development is The Perfect Pick for App Developers

React Native has proved itself as an advantageous language among the rest in recent years and thus has  gained popularity among the app developers community. The idea behind inventing React Native is to eliminate the extra cost of app development and make it simpler and developer.  React native is the prospective future for hybrid apps now. Thus it has took its own place in the developer's mind.

React Native backed with JavaScript

Java script is one of the favourite languages among developers in starting the journey of app development. The way React Native depends actively on Javascript brings down the learnability bend generally. 

It builds native apps

Despite the fact that developers shun JavaScript away, they don't use WebViews to render React Native segments. One of the reasons to choose react native app development services is because it delivers true native components, giving developers the ability to use platform explicit parts. 

It is unthinkable for a cross-platform app developer to develop a fully native application. The difference can be seen very clearly on UI and UX interfaces.

A clear installation measure

Node package is the installation source of React Native and is more credible for app developers as it allows developers to interact with JavaScript. Node js development company provides crossplatform app development services to deliver user-friendly experience to the customers. 

Also, even if you have little understanding of JS, React Native will save you the trouble of having to download twice as much from the source.

More prominent efficiency

The way to build apps faster lies in the proficiency levels of the developers,while the unwavering quality on JavaScript simplifies the cycle. It enables the features of live reload and provide the opportunity to use any  word processor or IDE of their decision. 

Strong community supports

React Native has grown significantly since its launch in 2015. Developers and various react native app development company around the world have decided to go with React Native, which offers a lot of benefits. This popularity has built up a solid all-inclusive network that deals with real time benefits of  React Native benefits

Truly a cross-platform thing

React Native is actually a cross-platform app development framework designed to eliminate the constraints of cross-platform app development and also touted as React Native for mobile app development. Using React Native and node js development services,  developers will extend their capabilities to smart TVs, smartwatches, Windows gadgets, and even VR headsets.

Finally, its a wrap

Based on the benefits and advantages, React Native app development has secured its place in the heart of various developers and various app development agencies, thus gaining popularity day by day and started proving to be the best choice for app developers.

Tecorb Technologies is a leading react js development company that have the team of skilled react js and react native developers provides full-featured, user-friendly and responsive apps to meet the needs and requirements of clients. 

[lomobabes]

Equil note pen for windows

EQUIL NOTE PEN FOR WINDOWS PORTABLE

EQUIL NOTE PEN FOR WINDOWS BLUETOOTH

They claim that by adding new algorithms to their 3D laser interferometer, they are bale to achieve this high degree of accuracy and detail. According to the creators of Phree, their patented high 2,000dpi resolution sensor technology allows it to accurately capture images from any surface no matter how small it is. The second issue that Phree aims to resolve is responsiveness. Hence Phree isn’t confined to one material or surface, it can truly be used on the go. Just the pen is enough to jot down your ideas without having to worry about extra baggage. Users don’t have to worry about running out of specialized notebook or ink at the time of urgent need to make notes. Phree does not require any additional device like a specialized notebook, white board or a pad. Phree aims to solve this problem by moving all the work off your devices screen to practically any surface. As our devices get smaller, we are in need of input devices that use less of the already reduced surface. The most prominent issues that smart pens could resolve in order to make the device more efficient are the use of screen area, responsiveness and ease of use. Even though it has made our lives simpler, there are still some issues that the smart pens need to overcome. VALUE PROPOSITION Input devices like smart pens have been around for a long time now. Phree is also pressure sensitive, so it knows when you’re applying pressure to make dark stroke (Gokey, 2015). Phree understands user’s hand movements the same way as that of human eye. Information is then processed by a set of algorithms that translates the data collected by the sensor in 3 dimensional. It then monitors the interference between the laser beam and the reflections coming from the surface. The science behind interferometer is to measure small things with incredibly high accuracy by comparing light beams (, 2016).It works by blasting a laser beam onto the surface you placed the pen to write. Technology: 3D Laser Interferometer Phree works with technology called laser interferometer.

EQUIL NOTE PEN FOR WINDOWS BLUETOOTH

It can also be used as a Bluetooth mouse for PC’s and laptops. All this without even having to take out your phone. It can be used as a wireless headset, display incoming text messages. Phree comes packed with a wide range of other useful functionalities. Phree’s usage doesn’t end with just taking notes or doodling. It can connect to any device with a Bluetooth function.

EQUIL NOTE PEN FOR WINDOWS PORTABLE

It syncs the data in real time onto your portable device, computer, phone and even smart TV’s through the use of Bluetooth. Sync your notes between devices using Dropbox.INTRODUCTION Phree is the world’s first smartpen that lets you write, draw on practically any surface. Attach your notes to an email or share them on Facebook and Twitter. Share drawings, notes, and collections instantly with colleagues, students, family, and friends. Tag your notes to make it easy to find important information with the search tool. Organize your ideas into notes and collections. Import your saved notes when you are connected. Using Equil Smartpen 2 or Equil Smartmarker, record your notes anytime your device is not connected to your Equil product. Send text in an email, insert it back into your note for better readability, or convert your writing into a title or tag to make your notes more searchable. Or, collaborate and participate by joining someone else’s Note Stream.Ĭonvert your writing into editable text using the handwriting recognition feature, available in 11 languages through in-app purchase, or by connecting Equil Smartpen 2 or Equil Smartmarker. Host a live session––called a Note Stream––with remote colleagues and friends by streaming your paper or whiteboard notes. Annotate, insert photographs, record audio, resize sketches, and more. Customize your notes using different pen colors, line thicknesses, and various backgrounds. Use a variety of tools and colors to highlight key ideas. Notes can be digitally reviewed, edited and enhanced on the fly, or later, when it’s convenient. Equil Note is the ultimate note-taking app for everyone who wants to capture, enhance, stream, share, and organize their paper and whiteboard notes: business professionals, educators and students, parents and homemakers, designers and project managers, and more!Įquil Note, when used with Equil Smartpen and Equil Smartmarker, lets you write notes and diagram ideas on any paper or whiteboard surface––and save them to your favorite device in real-time.

#Equil note pen for windows

[wamatechblog]

Common React Native App Development Mistakes

Developers wishing to be active in the cross-platform community won’t notice the bright future of the bright framework because there are over 1,600 active contributors striving to make React Native a success. The need for React Native app development among developers isn’t just a result of the industry’s expansion into native and React Native mode comparisons. The framework’s ongoing modifications also contribute to the demand.

This criteria can only be partially met, though. Developers must ultimately find a fundamentally different technique to get around the development process. Particularly with regard to comprehending and preventing errors when creating native React apps that could harm the user experience and its capabilities. To help you become accustomed to the errors you make when creating React Native apps and to better grasp what it takes to be a developer with few errors, divide this article into four sections.

Why Does React Native Love From Developers?

1. Because JavaScript was employed by React Native

One of the languages a developer starts off learning as they advance in their career is JavaScript. And in order that they bear a wholly unique likeness to the difficult issue. The fact that React Native is closely based on JavaScript lowers the learning curve to an amazing degree.

They can create native applications, too.

Despite being a JavaScript developer, I don’t render React Native components using web views. React Native’s ability to render items that look fully native gives developers the freedom to use platform-specific components like activity indicators to give the platform an instantly recognisable native appearance. Fully native programmes cannot be made by cross-platform programmers. The UI and UX will clearly show the difference.

3. A simple installation procedure

The setup process must always be straightforward, that is, without any difficult processes. The Node Package Manager makes it incredibly simple for developers with JavaScript experience to set up the React Native framework. Furthermore, React Native will spare you the hassle of downloading a binary from the source code even if you are unfamiliar with JS.

4. Increased output

In order to create applications more quickly, developer productivity is essential. The procedure is already made simpler by JavaScript’s resilience, but it also offers real-time reloading and the ability to use any IDE or text editor of your choosing.

5. Solid community support

Since its debut in 2015, React Native has become very well-known. React Native was chosen by developers and businesses with industry experience all over the world because of its many advantages.

Due to the tremendous demand, a robust and large community has developed that constantly works to improve the benefits and drawbacks of React Native.

6. It truly works across platforms

We do not mean to use React Native to create mobile apps when we mention that it is a cross-platform app development environment. React Native allows developers to expand their expertise to include smart TVs, wearables, Windows devices, and even VR headsets. There are some problems with React Native that are inherent in designing React Native apps, in addition to these advantages of using React Native and a few other advantages not listed. a challenge that seasoned developers must accept and solve. We advise hiring a React Native app development business with a New York office to create and develop unique React Native apps with the newest capabilities, regardless of where you are — in Los Angeles, New York, etc.

Scalability 7.

React Native enables mobile app developers a variety of alternatives to handle more jobs in their apps and trigger updates with additional functionality in comparison to native technologies. React Native is the winner in the development of Native apps in terms of scalability.

Performance 8.

When comparing local and respond local improvement, app performance is another factor to consider.

JavaScript, which React Native uses, is compatible with the best single dedicated tool thread. It is unable to fulfil several asynchronous responsibilities at once. Additionally, the framework no longer supports several popular modules and features. This makes it impossible to use current technologies, local tool features, or perform intricate manipulations.

On the other hand, native apps have developed using Swift, Java, or Kotlin, which are far superior to JavaScript for working on advanced features, doing complex computations, and integrating advanced hardware devices. This enables mobile app developers to easily construct any type of applications using Native technology.

[epicapplicationsusa]

I can’t keep up with The Elder Scrolls Online’s rapid content drops – and that’s a good thing

Whereas we watch for The Elder Scrolls 6 to in some way come out, and now wait even longer for Starfield, The Elder Scrolls On-line stays Bethesda’s flagship, limitless title. And it isn’t even developed by Bethesda Sport Studios.

There’s an awesome Elder Scrolls recreation you’ll be able to play when you watch for the following major story within the collection, you realize…

When it launched in 2014, TESO made quite a lot of errors – one thing that sadly appears like custom for giant on-line video games. Chief amongst these was the choice to go for a subscription-based mannequin, in an try and take a chunk out of the true state of World of Warcraft. The Previous Republic could not obtain that, even with all the facility of the Star Wars IP and BioWare’s experience. Unsurprisingly, issues did not go too effectively for ZeniMax On-line’s MMORPG at first; lower than a yr after launch, TESO dropped the obligatory subscription and was working in direction of truly getting The Elder Scrolls (however) On-line.

Frankly, WoW will not be a patch on TESO lately.

2015 and 2016 spawned the adjustments that primarily turned TESO into the distinctive MMORPG it’s right this moment. After all it was a giant step ahead to alter the obligatory subscription to an non-obligatory provide for the extra hardcore gamers, however it was the One Tamriel replace in late 2016 that received many gamers over. The key rework of the sport eliminated stage restrictions associated to areas and core actions, successfully including the layer of player-driven freedom that has characterised Bethesda Sport Studios’ video games for over a decade.

Thoughts you, TESO nonetheless performs like a contemporary MMORPG, however it’s one of many few main on-line titles that does not continuously take you to the following huge step in a protracted record of obligatory missions and progress. It seems that TES diehards did not need a World of Warcraft reskin, however simply The Elder Scrolls On-line. Who would have thought?!

When you’re uninterested in different MMOs, simply go to Elsweyr.

As soon as ZeniMax completed the primary batch of main DLCs and reworks of the core recreation, 2017 launched the Morrowind Enlargement Pack, taking the sport’s first step towards an annual mannequin of updates constructed round larger content material drop – very like Future 2’s. It is a technique that has labored amazingly for Bethesda and ZeniMax, and one which has made following TESO’s overarching story and fixed evolution that a lot simpler.

For a daily MMORPG participant like me, it is exhausting at greatest and mind-numbing at worst to understand a continuous flurry of updates and reworks. And that is inevitable within the age of ever-expanding on-line video games that wrestle to satisfy the unrealistic calls for of gamers with an excessive amount of free time. However the TESO staff appears to have struck a pleasant steadiness between entertaining the rabidest a part of its participant base and gracefully guiding informal gamers by means of Tamriel’s many adjustments.

Tamriel is stuffed with pleasant faces.

You’ll be able to all the time anticipate a strong livestream early within the yr to let you know what the following huge factor is within the seemingly countless TESO saga. Timed occasions and minor updates, that are punctuated yearly, could be talked about, however the highlight is placed on the primary attraction. Plus, the minor DLCs main as much as — and persevering with — the storylines of the foremost expansions are clearly outlined in roadmaps that are not bloated with video game-esque stuff associated to different points of the MMORPG.

In stark distinction to Blizzard’s headache-inducing streams and shows for WoW, ZeniMax cuts all of the numbers and extra technical BS to deal with what makes TESO — and The Elder Scrolls as a complete — necessary to so many individuals: the world and the story. The place are we going? Who can we meet? Who’re we combating? I can definitely examine each little tweak and system rework in weblog posts and patch notes.

To appear acquainted?

For instance, probably the most technical factor these streams ever get is outlining tangible adjustments in how the case or related techniques work, possibly giving gamers an replace on how the optimization efforts are going… It often is. Nonetheless, and as I stated earlier than, all the knowledge I want is obtainable elsewhere. And this order of priorities can be felt within the recreation, which is why I am penning this piece within the first place.

We have already coated how TESO might be the right solo-friendly MMORPG expertise, and it largely has to do with how the developer has dealt with its strategy to the franchise’s signature open-world RPG freedom. However there’s additionally a particular sensitivity to how the studio delivers the content material and lets gamers move by means of it.

Everybody – are available in right here and say good day!

First, I by no means really feel like I am lacking something. Sure, the sport’s many actions could be layered, and timed occasions are screaming in my face “come and get these shiny loot crates” each time I log in, however it’s actually not a requirement to take pleasure in my enjoyable on this planet of TESO and lots of many many extra. optimize quests… and even the excessive stage dungeons!

With One Tamriel “softening” the enjoying subject for TESO’s major portion of areas and quests, going by means of storylines and leaping between areas is easy as butter, and a lot of the group actions I (presumably) shut me down each time I leap into the sport. not outdoors as a result of I miss the newest meta construct.

You’ll be able to’t wriggle out of right here.

Plus, I can embark on any quest I need and perceive the largely contained story with out having to learn/play years of dense TES data. As interconnected as every little thing is, the sport’s greater tales work effectively sufficient on their very own, and I by no means really feel like I am lacking a selected little DLC to know the newest main enlargement.

Better of all, the general expertise for hardcore gamers hasn’t suffered from TESO’s love for its informal viewers. The endgame has lots to chew on, characters can develop nearly endlessly, and the huge PvP could be loved because the sweatiest on-line battle if you need. After all, some restrictions apply, however there needs to be some form of reward for individuals who put a whole bunch of hours into the identical recreation, proper?

For now, I am eagerly awaiting the Excessive Isle enlargement pack – due out in June – as I purchase new furnishings for my cozy mansion within the countryside of Skyrim that nobody ever visits, and I play a major collection that dropped out almost two years in the past. And who is aware of, possibly I am going to roll in a brand new character. I am going to meet up with you all… ultimately.

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source https://epicapplications.com/i-cant-keep-up-with-the-elder-scrolls-onlines-rapid-content-drops-and-thats-a-good-thing/

[weinsteinpollock0]

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[clancyhinson00]

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[roykent6]

Do you catch up on all the other stuff that’s happened with Poe Dameron in the outside world? Because I know there’s comic books, there are, you know, novels and stuff that are based on this character. Do you go into any of that so you know more about him?

#oisaacedit #oscarisaacedit #oscar isaac #poe dameron #star wars #mygifs #remember when he was so happy and excited to talk about poe #he went from this to 'i should've just let them kill him off' #god i hate that for him #2015 was truly a simpler time

[cloudsmovingcastle]

it’s funny to think back to when TFA first came out. I shipped both finnrey and finnpoe at the time, and I remember thinking to myself: “man, it sucks that finnpoe doesn’t have a chance to become canon, it’d be nice to have some gay rep in star wars :/ they’re clearly setting up a finnrey romance though, and they’re super cute! plus, interracial couples need rep too! :D”

...I truly had no idea the disaster that was to come.

#2015 was a simpler time #truly the peak of star wars #g speaks #star wars

[lauriexmachina]

raynecorp my love

the words of a writer can’t truly be expressed without an audience for the same reason a tree hasn’t actually fallen down if no one was there to see it. nihilistic thinking I know. but like if whatever i do doesn’t matter because essentially, no one perceives me, then causes aren’t really worth fighting right? the commodified (im copying i realize) social-justice-warrior idea is nothing new, if anything its 2015 origin of the very website im typing this in reminds me of a simpler time. its now hated “girlboss” sister is the same, they both represent how people aren’t really in it for equality but in actuality for fame. I feel like after every self-expressionist article i read or 5-hour youtube video analysing how twilight and the new feminist way of thinking are connected, I know new things but in actuality words spoken and heard, swim in my brain without a correct track. kind of like when the main character in shark boy and lava girl goes through the thoughtless train. but the thing is, am I watching and reading these out of actual interest of processing complex societal issues or just the want of being a cool indie/rockstar girlfriend/fiona apple/wall-art/manic-pixie girl. same thing with this post. am I writing this way because this is how I express my thought or do I just want to be perceived this way because otherwise my words dont matter?  

[endae]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged way way back by @fallen-gravity, and again by @novantinuum. Sorry for the delay, thank you so much Cindy and Jen! ❤️

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently, 19, but there's still a handful I need to move from Tumblr over to AO3.

What’s your total word count on AO3

110,008!

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Well over a decade now, and surprisingly only 3! I started out in Resident Evil, moved to Pandora Hearts, and now Gravity Falls.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Just Keep Breathing comes in at number one (in no small thanks to fex's beautiful fanart of it, I'm sure). Following it is Aftercare, Rescind, Reset, Louder Than Words, and out and alive.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really pride myself on responding to every single comment. It's so important for me to show my readers how much I value them taking the time to say something. I try to match their comments lengthwise, a small thank you for anyone that drops a few lines, and something much longer for the ones that really get into it.  

(that being said, if you've sent me one and it's been months, I see it, I promise, I will get to it eventually,)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

[spoilers for the fic but] It's definitely Before the Bridges Burn. With the premise in the summary, and the fact that I'm working on a sequel, anyone without a clue can probably draw their own conclusions. But you have my promise that Ashes will have a much warmer ending 🙏

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever written?

I haven't yet! It's probably a mix I won't ever make an attempt on, but I was really piqued by all the GF-Undertale crossover content that was floating around back in 2015 when it first came out.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I'm fortunate to say I haven't, and hoping it stays that way 🤞

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I haven't, no.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, and I hope that's still the case.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, but it might be on the horizon! A friend dropped a fic idea that I'm dying thinking about, and if they ever wanted to commit to it, I'd be on it with them in a heartbeat.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Link and Zelda :) nowadays I could go either way with them as friends or a couple, but it was probably my first ship ever.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A soulmate AU that I was wavering back and forth on for a bit. I've got a lot of heart for it, and while the platonic interpretation of the trope has been embraced a little more in recent years, I still think it's just a little too daunting to put out in public.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I write tense moments relatively well. I put a lot of thought into buildup because the payoff means so much to me. I usually start with the wham moments and craft the rest of the chapter/standalone fic around it, so when it’s all said and done, those moments were truly the heart of the whole thing.

Related to that, I think I’m really good about weaving callbacks and red flags back through WIPs. My biggest goal for anything is for someone to think “I should have noticed that,” or, making the emotional volatile moments carry that much more of a punch because of things I laced throughout it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

brevity my detested,

I think I struggle just...getting to the point lol. I think my descriptions can get a little carried away, because in my head I want the imagery to match as if you were watching a movie, when the two mediums aren’t meant to translate together. I’ll finish something and scroll back and realize “oh. that got Long.” and then awkwardly try to shave it down.

Another that’s been particularly bad lately is just comparing myself to others. I don’t think my writing is as pretty as some of the other writers I follow. Sometimes I even feel like I read old stuff of mine that beats what I put out today and wonder what happened. (tbf life was simpler back then, so I’m sure that’s. half of it)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think if you're studying, fluent, or consulting with someone who is, go for it! So long as there’s translations or otherwise easy-to-follow notes of what’s being said somewhere else that we can refer to.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Resident Evil, back when I was about 12.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Still to this day, I’m most proud of Bridges. Even if it was a short multichapter, it’s the first I ever completed, across all fandoms. Nowadays It’s my little of beacon of hope that I can finish stuff even when it feels impossible. There’s a lot working against me these days, but my heart’s still in my writing and the people it connects me with. ❤️

I’m tagging @pinesbrosfalls, @fexalted, and @fordanoia informally if you guys feel like doing it. and you reading this if you haven’t yet!

#tag meme #gravity falls #long post

[45paperplates]

More about Olivia Rodrigo: On her Lyrics

Starting some time in 2018 or maybe a little earlier, Olivia Rodrigo began to play original songs, or more often pieces of songs, one verse and a chorus, apparently unfinished, for her followers on Instagram Live. She was about fifteen at the time, although one of the more complete songs (“Naive Girl”) can be confirmed to date back to 2014 or 2015, when she was twelve years old. I began to listen to these songs, all but one of which are available to hear conveniently compiled into a single twenty-five minute Youtube video, when my appetite for her music was only beginning to grow to its present size, after I had listened to the album on repeat for a good three or four days straight. They are the kind of thing only obsessive fans can really gush over, something akin to Bob Dylan’s early Minnesota Hotel Tape from 1961: badly recorded and casually created by a young artist who never intended them to be anything more than they are, a fun and easy way to show off their talent at a time when a wellspring of inspiration was already pouring forth with no better available outlet.  

These little pieces, however, establish finally for sure what a major label pop debut with other ambitions, no matter how special it may be, can only hint at, which is that something within her is driving a preternatural attention for detail, currently unmatched in it’s free naturalism, imaginative power, and consistency, only possibly consistent as a result of its being deeply possessed and long established, despite her youth. I have already touched on what I think that something may be in my first post about her. But whatever it is, it is immediately apparent in her performances here, an instinct that had already cemented deeply considered vocalization as her default, as a simple creative necessity, although a few of the earliest recordings have added even another layer of Broadway-like drama that has since been stripped away, I am guessing as a result of the nascent growth of some level of creative confidence.

Songwriting, then, is to some degree shown to be a third result of that engrained ability, after said holistic sincerity and its resultant vocal intuition, and yet a good chunk of the songs are lyrically composed as well with a just as holistically sincere and intuitive affect, presenting very well-understood conundrums, pared down to koan-like solids one would think by years of rumination. A few are, I would dare to say, more tightly constructed and figuratively multivalent than the songs on her album, many of which share their succinctness but not the violently prismatic irony that seems to be able to overpower the sincere creative drive that gave it life in its brightest inspired flashes. “drivers license” in fact excels by flattening that figurative prism into a simpler and more benign shape, allowing the casual listener to both easily understand and retain some wisp of hope in the end, even if it is only implied.

I would not be so stupid as to claim that Olivia intended these best-written of her unreleased bedroom productions to be metaphysical poems somehow toeing the line between classical balance and baroque terror in their meditation on the reciprocal quality of human sin. That would be silly, not because I don’t think a teenager is capable of such a thing (teenagers have, in fact, always been capable of making high art) but because these few songs focus on themes common to all of her songs: teenage insecurity, uncontrollable jealousy, and betrayal both social and self-inflicted. The depth of her imagery comes instead, I think, from an intuitive understanding of where the cultural meat of an issue lies, and when she writes a song her drive craves and so aims for power and gets rid of whatever there is that lacks it. Perhaps working with a co-writer somewhat slows that drive.  

“Pretender” is a song about being “fake” and how it works both outwardly and internally. It’s personification, the “pretender” of the title, is accused, envied, pitied, and ultimately, understood. It moves through four key lines.

Pointing her finger at this automaton, about whom she alone knows the truth, Olivia first wishes vindictively,

If only they knew what I knew.

But then, now envious of the figure, she prays,

I wish I knew what you knew.

Maybe as a result of these two contradictory desires, she is forced to admit with regret that the pretender can only be a fantastic image rather than a full person, a strawman created by her mind to both embody her sublimated desire and reflexively maintain her own superiority when it goes unfulfilled:

I created you to be plastic and deadly.

Finally, in a relentlessly logical conclusion, she must admit, as the construction falls to pieces, that this is obviously all about herself:

I created you to hide my own envy, ... Maybe I’m a pretender like you.

With her catalog in mind, the canonical interpretation is pretty obvious. The pretender is someone who is perfect and happy and Olivia is jealous of that. By the guilt left in the wake of her accusation, she realizes, indeed it should have been quite apparent from the start, that perhaps the person who seems to be happy is actually not happy. She perceives by juxtaposition that maybe others see her, Olivia, the same way, and in a sinking conclusion, perfect happiness, the other’s and hers as well, is shown to be only truly possible in image and never in the fullness of experience. It is a song about the difficult process of empathy and its bitter personal rewards. This interpretation prevails in Youtube comments, specifically in reference to her other songs about the jealousy encouraged by social media. “I’m happy for them, but then again, I’m not.” Maybe Olivia’s own fun and carefree public-facing presence is just as false?

The genius behind this songwriting, however, is that this other person does not need to exist for the song’s structure to function. This is by design, no doubt; she could very well be speaking only to herself the entire time. If Olivia is pretending too, as the final line suggests, then why could she not have been the pretender all along? Indeed, how else could Olivia be the only one who knows “the truth” about this figure in the first place? A personal struggle with identity, that is the meat of it all.

Her first wish for the pretender’s exposure is based in personal remorse, for lying to the world about who she really is. That her own social facade might be justly but violently forced open to expose the truth would be a painful but cathartic release. She makes her second wish as she recoils in the face of such an embarrassing prospect, hoping against reason that maybe it’s somehow all avoidable, that by abandoning any loyalty to the truth and to herself altogether she might in fact achieve the paradise that the pretender affects, soulless but free of the pain of having a soul too. Third is the realization that this is evil, that her desire is sinful, both grotesque and inhuman (“plastic”), and cruel (“deadly”). Fourth and last she can no longer pretend that her original finger-pointing isn't itself the result of this same worldly desire, as narcissistic an attempt at personal redemption as the outward facade is itself. Insecurity and jealousy, no matter how embarrassing or ugly, no more compose an understanding of identity than any more knowingly-constructed and performative self-image, and are just as self-serving in their own twisted way.

So in this song she is deconstructing herself, from outward composure to cryptic narcissism, shattering layer after layer in an alarmingly accelerating regression. Unfortunately, all that is left in the end is what she has done after what she is—performatively, emotionally, intuitively—has fallen away, specifically the intended result of the accusation she threw at the pretender to begin it all: once again, guilt. What else but guilt is exposed now to be the substance left of the human individual? For Olivia, deep down at least, guilt is always the together creator and eraser of human pleasure, the identity that is desire, and the only thing that fears the emptiness that would be left without it.

That a teenager could write such a penetratingly self-critical work is of course impressive, but the fact that guilt, desire, pleasure, happiness, identity, and fear are shown ultimately to be one and the same generative source is far more exciting. Here she exposes the potential versatility of her created and creative ability, that in maturity this raw power without singular definition could be manipulated into many other things completely new, things only Olivia and not I can imagine now.

#Olivia Rodrigo #sour #drivers license #pretender #hsmtmts #bootlegs #bob dylan #metaphysics #john donne #existentialism #pop music #catholic guilt #taylor swift #lorde #billie eilish

[jimintomystery]

Time Cube

I wish there was a story to tell about Time Cube.  I discovered the website in the mid-1990s, and was fascinated by Gene Ray’s incoherent theory of everything.  For decades I’ve meant to write up my take on the whole thing, but I never got around to it.  I suppose that’s because there really isn’t a point to all of it, much like Ray’s concept of how the universe works.

In retrospect, there isn’t anything particularly special about Ray posting a crank manifesto on the web.  Twenty-five years ago, though, I didn’t know that.  The world wide web was young and so was I.  I was only beginning to discover that people could have the means to access the internet and nevertheless be inarticulate, or incompetent, or irrational.  I approached Ray’s oddly hostile demands for people to prove him wrong in good faith, figuring that reason could unravel any sort of nonsense.  I had a lot to learn.

It’s tempting, at first glance, to interpret Time Cube as an argument that everything exists in one of four states, and that anything moving to another state implies that three equivalent things must make correlating movements.  That’s kind of weird, but it at least resembles a falsifiable premise, which lures you into trying to make sense of the rest of it, the better to debunk it on its own terms.  But there isn’t a “rest of it” to make sense of.  Ray never actually applied this “four corners” premise to any meaningful conclusion, except that academia and organized religion have conspired to suppress his brilliant discovery.

A newcomer to Time Cube might realize that right around the time they started noticing all the odd references to the Clintons, or Jews, or cannibalism, or various things that are supposedly “queer.”  The only ideas Ray truly articulates are his contempt for anyone who can’t understand his ideas, and his certainty that no one but himself can understand.

Over the years I’d occasionally remember Time Cube was a thing, and poke around to see if anything new had developed.  Usually there was nothing new.  Now and then Ray would be contacted for an interview or invited to “lecture” for the amusement of some college kids.  Surviving footage of these events suggests Ray had a far more gentle demeanor in person than you’d think from reading “You Word-Murder Your Children“ on his site.

Gene Ray passed away in 2015 at the age of 87, and his site went down shortly thereafter.  Snapshots of timecube.com are available on archive.org, although the novelty of reading the site is blunted by knowing that no one alive today actually believes that stuff.  Today’s internet has its hands full with a wider variety of more prolific cranks, producing more intricate charts and spreading more dangerous misinformation.  Maybe that’s why I look back to Time Cube, with nostalgia for a simpler era of gibberish.

#timecube #time cube #gene ray #pseudoscience #fringe theories #into mystery

[ash-etherwood]

Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

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FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

#ask #crimsondaisy #2.4k works of me talking about myself under the cut rip #thank you tho!!!