#AGE GAP (IRL)

[ddejavvu]

just saw someone refer to a 23 year old as an “older boyfriend”.

me and my 40-50 yr old babygirls are staring in disdain

‘An older man’ and he’s just 30

#I mean it’s good that they don’t have huge age gaps irl I’m glad that’s ‘older’ to them #but on the internet older means geriatric to me #mei's mail

[yoshiyakiryu-archive]

Regardless of my actual opinion, the teen romance novel-esque argument that Joshua is 90 years old at the time of TWEWY would make JoshNeku infinitely funnier to me. Nearly a century of existing and Joshua has not learned one single iota of emotional maturity in any of it. Immortal brat.

There's no way he's ever living this down. Neku learns in three weeks what took Joshua decades. He learns how long Joshua has been around and starts addressing him exclusively as "grandpa" until it loses its effect and therefore its shine. He asks who gives Josh his sponge baths now that Kitaniji's out of the picture. Joshua, who hasn't aged physically in 75 years, mentally in 80, and emotionally in 87, would be incredibly susceptible to these insinuations from his fifteen year old boyfriend, who has this sense of humour honestly because he's still human fifteen as opposed to dead godling fifteen.

Joshua can't come onto him anymore because Neku will ask if he's sure sure he won't break a hip. Neku insists he's the sugar baby and only here for the money and assets because Joshua's personality is nothing to call home about. Neku answers Joshua on the phone with "what's up, cradle robber?" Every argument Joshua thinks he's winning can be easily derailed by pointing out he's the one that decided to date a teenager. Neku buys Joshua hard candies and shitty dime-a-dozen impact font gag gift shirts fairly regularly.

Joshua wears them out with him.

#twewy #joshneku #shitpost #disclaimer: i am making a JOKE #age gap mention #or however that works i don't think age gap counts when there's immortality involved because there's no irl equivalent #tagging for blocking purposes anyway #my art #gif

[ofthehands]

Question for TCM fans: What do you think the reason is that there's such a big age gap between Drayton and the rest of his brothers? Like I wouldn't be surprised if the real reason is that Hooper wrote him as a nebulous old man then decided later that he's their brother, but now that it's the canon we have, what do you think the in universe reason is?

I tend to lean towards the idea that they share a mother, but have different fathers, and that she had Drayton quite young, though the twins and Drayton share a pretty strong resemblance (though again it could be a total casting coincidence lol).

I think it also could be possible that they all share parents, and there's more (deceased) Sawyer siblings than we see, with Drayton, the twins, and Bubba being the only to survive to adulthood + avoid leaving the home, with the younger brothers likely being dependent on Drayton from a very young age + their parents being out of the picture by then. I feel like this one takes a big more stretching/ expanding on scraps of canon, bc I got this idea almost entirely from the Cornbugs song Buried Child, in which Chop Top sings about buried children (go figure lol), particularly these lines -

Which seem out of place with the way the Sawyers behave. Like we've never seen them kill kids, but I would imagine they would, and don't expect they'd treat them any differently from other victims. So in my mind it makes sense the buried nameless child "gone too soon" could be another Sawyer sibling.

Idk, there's a lot of explanations that could make sense, these are just the two I go with most often. What's your ideas?

#tcm #tcm analysis #i know the cornbugs arent true canon technically but i count it when it doesnt conflict with pre-existing canon #also i know Leatherface (2017) filled in the family tree abit but they yassified Drayton and twinkified bubba so im chosing to ignore it lol #tcm2 #texas chainsaw massacre #also i didnt expand on it a whole lot bc i feel it just makes sense but a part of the different dads theory is that i think that #happens pretty often irl #my older brother and i have about a 20 year age gap bc we have different dads lol

[punkeropercyjackson]

"I'm such an old man fucker🥰"You guys couldn't even handle adult Naruto and Ichigo

#nah cause they especially ichigo aren't even that old😭😭😭😭😭naru's 33 and ichigo's not even in his 30s yet.y'all are POSERS and TASTELESS #'b-but their hair-'it's literally just a sign of age my guy and ichigo deadass just has his dad's haircut now calm tf down #they aged like fine wine y'all just got daddy k*nks but aren't willing to fuck actual dads-which irl is a good thing cause we're so young #but in fiction it's freegame you can just make your s/is old too it's that easy.who cares about age gaps where's my dilf4milf rep #naruto uzumaki #ichigo kurosaki #naruhina #ichihime #nart #sunshinefam #bleach #la familia kurosaki #x reader #lemon #x reader smut #x black!reader #💌 #summerposting

[obstinatecondolement]

I was fully like "I don't think that Rebecca Wisocky is necessarily that much older than Asher Grodman. She's styled very conservatively as Hetty and he's got a baby face; for all I know they could be the same age and I don't think this is by any means a confirmed example of my well documented feral enthusiasm for age difference ships."

So anyway, he's my age and she's 52 and I am not beating the MILF fucker allegations any time soon.

#I do stand by thinking that people look all sorts of ways at the same age and they *could* have had a smaller age gap than they do irl tho #ghosts cbs #hetty woodstone #trevor lefkowitz #h money #rebecca wisocky #asher grodman

[bl-bam-beyond]

STAY BY MY SIDE (2023, TAIWAN)

Trailer Highlights

Premiere: TODAY (July 7, 2023) 10 Episodes

Available on: GAGAOOLALA & VIKI

Genres: Romance, Supernatural

Starring: HONG WEI ZHE as Gu Bu Xia

YANG I HSUAN as Jiang Chi

LIAO WEI PO as Guo Zheng Hong

SUPERWAY HSU as Bai Yun HAO

JIN CHENG as Gu Bu Tao

Synopsis: Bu Xia was raised by his grandfather, a spiritual medium. His grandfather passes away and after the funeral Bu Xia hears murmurs now and then. Thinking he is hallucinating he is prepared to seek treatment but he finds the murmurs are getting clearer and they are the voices of ghosts.

Meanwhile Bu Xia has a roommate Jiang Chi that excels at everything from sports to academics. Bu Xia finds the more he gets in touch with Jiang Chi the less he hears ghostly voices. So he finds ways to approach Jiang.

The First Taiwan Release in 2023 by VIDOL

@pose4photoml @lutawolf @bengiyo @absolutebl @thewayofsubtext

#POST: TRAILER HIGHLIGHTS #TAIWANESE BL SERIES #ROMANCE #SUPERNATURAL #GAGAOOLALA/VIKI #MYGIFSET #My GIFS #OLDER ACTORS/UNIVERSITY BL #AGE GAP (IRL) #JULY 7 PREMIERE

[conellu]

My Heart’s A Rabid Dog Trying To Put It’s Teeth In You

Yoshikage Kira x Reader

Briefly mentioned: Koichi/Reader (platonic), Rohan/Reader (platonic/romantic)

Canon Divergent AU

Soulmate AU

Also Posted Here

You didn't hate him, you couldn't hate him, he was your soulmate after all. Whatever you did to deserve such a vile soulmate in a past life, you decided, had to be absolutely despicable.

You hated him.

You hated him.

You hated him.

You repeated the sentence in your head over and over again as you watched him loom closer, eyes fixed sharp on you in a way that made you regrettably feel warm. You didn't hate him, you couldn't hate him, he was your soulmate after all. Whatever you did to deserve such a vile soulmate in a past life, you decided, had to be absolutely despicable. He wore a warm, faint smile as he gently grasped your hands and pressed a gentle kiss against your cheek. Your stomach erupted into butterflies despite your anger towards the gesture, face blushing as though you were kissed by someone who wasn't a monster.

He hummed as he collected the dishes, glasses, and silverware, content with his life while you sat in anger and disgust. Your body screamed at you to join him, to be as close to him as possible at all times, he was your soulmate after all. Your stand had made occasional appearances tonight, as per usual, as your soul did not care that the man you were fated to be with was a monster - someone who destroyed countless families and lives for his own selfish gain. Your stand mingled with Killer Queen, evaporating into nothing every time you got a hold of yourself.

You stared daggers into the back of his head as though by spite alone he would die and you could leave, no longer bonded to him. It would be a lonely life, your soul would call out for his until your own death, leaving you to cry and whine at night. But, you thought, that would be a more tolerable life than the one you were living now. Unfortunately, soulmates could not hurt each other. This was the only reason Yoshikage Kira had let you live. Part of you wishes he coduld have killed you, wishes he made your body explode. Maybe you could join Reimi after your death and you could help again, you could fulfill what you wanted to do before meeting his eyes.  You could apologize to her and everyone that you got stuck with the one soulmate you wished you never had.

"Now, now dear..." He started, tone edging on parental as though you were just a child and he had to chastise you. "I made sure our dinner was your favorite. Are you upset because I am to find a new girlfriend tonight?" His stupid smirk was audible, fueling your disgust and hatred for the man. "Are you jealous?" He asked, turning towards you.  he leaned against the sink as he took in your facial expressions, revealing nothing but spite and hatred for him.  He supposed it couldn’t be helped, after all you did have to witness Sheer Heart Attack render Jotaro nearly dead (you thought at the time he was dead, Kira correcting you during one of your many breakdowns) and him repeatedly slam Koichi’s head into the ground.  Even though that had been a couple months ago by now and he had made his own progress as accepting you as his fated one.

The sudden eye contact made your heart skip a beat, regardless of your own hate for the man your soul ached for him. Of course you were jealous, deep within you, you craved to be his only. The feeling made you sick to your stomach and he knew it. He knew that despite your utter, deep hatred for him that you loved him.  Despite him being a prick, seeming to get enjoyment out of toying with you, he didn’t enjoy the sitation at hand. You didn't have a choice and, to be frank, neither did he.

He wasn't extremely pleased with the situation either, anxiety and anger had pooled in him soon after he met your eyes. His world burst into color and he knew he was screwed. Soulmates cannot hurt each other, so he was unable to use Killer Queen on you. Even the idea made him feel upset, despite his initial want to make your existence disappear. Living each and every day with an empty pit in his stomach, his being calling out for you in a pitiful attempt to bring you back, did not sound very pleasing to him. In spite of it all, his anxiety and anger disappeared rather smoothly. When he strung you along to his house, your body light in his arms, he assessed the situation fully. He was, in a perverted way, living the life that many wanted. Few people connected with their soulmates at his age, not to say that 33 was old but most of his peers had long since met theirs well before their 30s.  He had gave up hope around the time he hit 27 of finding his soulmate, perhaps he already killed them before realizing what he had done or they died in some other situation. But to meet your soulmate and immediately be able to live with them?  That was unheard of, regardless of the draw that two fated lovers feel towards each other there were common practices they would have to go through before living together typically.

Life at home was a sadistic imitation of a domestic life, you stayed in the house and made sure everything was clean, put away, and ready for him while he worked. He would come home to a clean house and to you, his dear soulmate. He would give you a kiss on the cheek before going to work and upon coming home, your stands would greet each other as though they had been apart for longer than a few hours. You would ask him how work was, inform him of what was for dinner (unless, of course, he had to get a new girlfriend, then he would fix dinner for you), and sit in relative silence until bedtime. Your nighttime routines entangled each other with ease, of course you didn't have much to do given the fact you were away from home and your belongings so you had little choice but to bend to his routine. While you two did sleep in the same bed, you curled up under your own set of blankets as far away from him as possible. Without fail, you would wake up clutching onto him and before you were able to process that you were, in fact, disgusted with your soulmate you would nuzzle into his neck and inhale his scent, smile against him and plant soft, barely there kisses. To be honest, the mornings had become Kira's favorite time of day rather quickly. Before he knew it, he considered it part of his routine and looked forward to it subconsciously. Before he could reciprocate, or even tighten his arms around your form in a burst of extreme pleasure to his soul, you would yank yourself away and get up, starting on the day's routine as he lay and watch you for a few seconds.

You also were not a bad sight, before your eyes connected he had thought your form was cute, even if you were just a roadblock in his way, though he had since chalked this up to his soul knowing you were fated to be before he knew it. Your hands were nothing amazing, had it not been for you two being fated he likely would not have gave them a second glace. Overall, Kira thought as he observed your cheeks start to darken with a blush at the eye contact and softening of his feature, it was as close to a perfect, quiet life he had ever experienced and he was certain that soon enough you would stop. You would give into what you soul craved, you would accept that you and him were fated to be together, fated to protect each other and take care of one another. You would, in time, complete the final step to his ideal quiet life, giving in to your urge to dote on him.  It was not simple wishful thinking on his part, nor was it delusion.  Soulmates would always end up warming up to each other if there was any animosity, there were a few books released by couples who experienced a hard time accepting each other at first before they realized there was no use in fighting fate.

"As if," you said, looking away from the man. You could feel your cheeks burn bright as his expression softening as he looked at you, the urge to stand up and peck his cheek and smile at him nearly winning you over. "You disgust me, Yoshikage Kira." Your eyes focused on a flower pot as you chewed at your bottom lip, you could feel him still staring at you and it made your cheeks burn even hotter as embarrassment flooded over you.  You were certain he loved toying with you more than he loved nearly anything else.  It would be a lie to say that hearing his full name grace your lips didn't start a fire in him, a mix of arousal and anger burying itself deep within him. Your whines for him, whimpers of his name, replayed in his head without a second thought.

You two have had sex before, of course you had. You were soulmates, after all, and in close proximity often enough that sometimes you had to satiate yourself. It would never take long for either of you to cum, your fingers lazily in his mouth as he pounded into you with a grip on your throat. You would clinch around him soon after he would slip in, your slick pooling in your panties before he so much as got near you and either of you even initiated sex. His orgasm would come soon after, suckling and licking at your digits in his mouth while your other hand lay against his cheek in a show of absolute affection, absolute adoration. After having sex you would cry, he would leave the room to take a shower as your sat on the bed in disbelief at yourself. Sometimes you would throw up, so disgusted with yourself that you would be late getting into bed. Kira didn't reprimand you on those nights for straying from routine, allowing you to have time to yourself to digest what you did, things you said, your soft touches against his skin as though you loved him as much as you would proclaim at the height of your orgasm. Sometimes he would fall asleep before you returned, other times he would lay awake and wait on you despite his best efforts to fall asleep. You would come to bed, shaky and exhausted, falling asleep soon after pulling your blankets tight around you as though you would disappear if you could squeeze them around you right enough. The sight was enough to make his chest clinch even before he had fully accepted your combined fate, his body demanding that he comfort your sleeping form in some way. He would sigh and throw an arm over you, pulling you closer to him and burying his nose against your hair.  The first time he did this, it felt as though his body was acting on its own accord as he thought your behavior was annoying, but after he felt you relax against him in your sleep he did not want to let go.  His body wanted to protect you from whatever it was that was causing you distress even when that thing was him.

You would think about they would think, what would they say. You could see their faces clearly, disgusted with you. You could practically head their exclamations of disgust, of hatred, of betrayal towards you. Not just for being so foolish as to allow Kira Yoshikage to be so close to you, not just for you being too pathetic to get help (not that you could, your entire being was dedicated to keeping him safe and his being was dedicated to keeping you safe.  You had, on multiple occasions, picked up the phone to call someone to beg them to help you but you could not make your fingers move to dial), but for saying that you love him. That you love the monster that took away so many lives before you, that continued to take away lives as you lived together, that took away Reimi's life. You would sit hunched over a trash can while Kira took a shower and throw up until your throat burnt. If he exited the shower before you were finished admonishing yourself for a sin you were fated to commit, you would hurry behind him into the bathroom, head down and eyes filled with tears that dropped to the floor below you. You would stare at yourself in the mirror until you could no longer recognize your reflection as a face and saw it as just a collection of mishpas, misdeeds, mistakes that lead you to having Yoshikage as a soulmate. You would apologize out loud to your friends, beg their forgiveness and plead with them. You knew they couldn't hear you, of course, you knew the only being that could hear you besides yourself was Yoshikage who was sitting on the bed, warm glass of milk in hand and stealing glances towards the bathroom. He wouldn't say anything, what could he say that you didn't already tell yourself.  Speaking up in this moment would likely result in you becoming even more broken as your inner battle to run to him, to accept his words and touches, would be even harder.  Despite his own distain for the situation intially, he had grown to enjoy it when it was running more smoothly.

"Is that so, my dear?" Kira spoke lowly, taking his place back at the table across from you. You couldn't bare to look at him, knowing that if he held the same soft expression so close to you that you might slip up, you might allow yourself to indulge in the smallest affection toward the man.

Truthfully, you hadn't found the man unattractive physically. He was conventionally attractive, his voice like honey in your ears when he first talk before the battle began which caused an automatic shiver to run up your spine (which was, thankfully, undetected by the frantic Koichi because you couldn't dare have him even slightly pick up on the slight waver that graced your stance before you turned to face Yoshikage). Had he been someone different you would have unabashedly ask him to talk about anything and everything, his voice swimming around you and bringing you comfort despite the venomous words he spouted towards your short friend.

The memory of your eyes meeting kept you up some nights, still feeling like some unending nightmare. You watched as Koichi was beat within a centimeter of his life, stand unable to effect the adult man as he pummeled your younger friend. The scent of blood barraged your nose as you cried out, begging Koichi to get up, begging Kira to stop, begging Jotaro to get up, begging for anything to change. When he directed his eyes towards you snarling at your whimpering and whining and crying, time felt as though it stood still. The world exploded with color and your mouth was slightly agape as your eyes widened. His face changed in a similar way, snarl disapating into a confused stare with eyes staying transfixed on yours. You shook your head no in absolute disbelief, this had to be a nightmare. You were frozen with fear as he came closer to you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and a sharp frown. Were you going to die? Have the shit beat out of you? Were you going to explode as Shigekiyo had? Could he even hurt you? You had heard that soulmates are supposed to protect each other, but as Killer Queen loomed over his shoulder- it's eyes boring holes into your own stand, you thought that maybe that was just some lie. You should have ran, should have ran and ran and ran away until you found Josuke and Okuyasu, telling them the grim reality of everything that just transpired. But you stayed, as still as a mouse that had gave up a chase. His hand gripped your arm forcefully, right enough for you to whimper and draw your eyes away from his, down to your arm. He jerked you up easily, your legs automatically straighting to catch yourself from stumbling. You didn't say anything and neither did he as you both seemed to consider your next move, to consider each other's next move. He moved with you roughly before you could pull away, dragging you from the sight with an angry sigh and slight glance down at you. "I can't hurt you," he said angerly, "so you have to come with me."

His words made your brain go into overdrive, suddenly all to aware of what he meant, of his grasp on you, of the fact you were fated to be together. You yanked away from him, breath shaky as you tried to fight back the urge to cry and scream and collapse into an anxiety attack. He had his blood, Koichi's, on him. A fact that made your actions even more feverish in an attempt to break away from his grasp. "No." You said, barely above a whisper. No to what exactly, you were not sure. No to the entire situation was what you decided on upon replaying the memory in your head. No to Jotaro seemingly dead, no to seeing your friend being beat and left in a heap on the ground, no to realizing how bad your soul wanted to grab onto Kira and wanted to never let go, no to realizing that you failed and that you could never win. Even if you had been separated, your body would know rest until you gave in. Even if Josuke and Okuyasu had got there before that you would have betrayed them without intending to.  Your stand would have made its life goal to protect your fated lover, acting without your input and acting purely on what your soul wanted.

His grasp didn't falter as he walked with you, eyes going between the road ahead and down at your form. Your head was down, tears threatening to spill over as your hand that wasn't connected to the arm he had a grasp on grabbed tightly onto your shirt. Your knuckles ached with how tight you grasped your fabric, but you couldnt let it go, knowing that if you did your hand would reach out and over to him. He led you to his house without too much of a fight on your end, your stand would disobey any command that you struggled out through quivering lips and your body so tired with today's events.  To say annoyance radiated off of his body would have been an understatement, he was furious at how today went.

You mind raced as you realized you wouldnt be going home, you wouldn’t be allowed the pleasure of gathering your belongings.  You couldn’t collect the many photograpghs that adorned your wall of your friends.  You had considered Rohan your unofficial soulmate, a title he sneered at but appreciated all the same, despite his demeanor towards you, you two connected on a level you hadn't done with anyone before. You never sent a title on what you were, if you were anything more than just friends or something more, but you enjoyed his company (and he would never admit but he felt the same). But the heat that rushed towards your face, butterflies that blew up in your stomach, and the urges you felt towards to serial killer of Morioh blew it out of the water as soon as your eyes met again as he led you into his house and sat at the table.  This was the first time throw up raced towards your throat, you felt like a lovesick puppy just in his presence and he viseably relaxed despite the thoughts racing through his head.

He hated to admit it and would never vocalize it out loud, even after he came to terms with his fated life partner, but in that moment he wanted to kiss you. His soul ached to cradle you as your blood shot eyes looked up at him, despite knowing that he himself was the cause for your distress. Finding your soulmate is supposed to be a joyous occasion, both sides experiencing intense euphoria and elation at the feeling but both of you were experiencing none of that. You looked younger than him, you had to be younger than him of course if you were so close to Koichi that you cried for him as though he was your own brother.  He would later ask how old you are, a question you answered while finishing dinner one night after he had a shift at work.  He didn’t understand why he would have you as a soulmate, but with the day he was having before your eyes met, he wasn’t shocked that one of the bratty sleuthers was his beloved.

Kira jars you out of your memories with a "hm?" as he reaches across the table to gently hold your hands. He holds them as they you are a porcelain doll and will shatter, rubbing his thumbs ever so softly across your knuckles. For a second your body relaxed, your soul at ease at your fated lover's affection, you nearly smiled before you pulled them away.  He held a small grin on his face, today had been the most you’ve let your facade drop and he figured it wouldn’t be long until you couldn’t muster it anymore.  You would greet him happily at the door instead of looking away, a genuine interest in how his day went (though nearly every day was the exact same, you would be excited to hear regardless), you would allow yourself to touch him, your soft hands caressing his face so lovingly.

"Yes." You say, arms now folded across your chest as you tried to stare him down. The action doesn't phase him and it doesn't work on your end, the eye contact making you feel a mix of emotions. He stands up and you rise from your seat as well following him as he goes to the door, an action you do of your own accord. You look up at him, breath getting stuck in your throat as you realize he's leaving and will be coming back with a pair of dismembered hands and he'll keep them until they start to stink. You tell yourself this is why you hate it when he leaves on nights like this and not that it's because you will miss his presence. He leans down, pressing a kiss against your lips and holds your shoulders as he looks at you. For a moment, your facade drops. Your hands hold his face so gently, so sweetly, so perfectly that has he not required a new girlfriend he would have leaned into greedily, taking advantage of your mask falling off. Your eyes soften and you press your own chaste kiss against his lips.  Your eyes widen just like they did the first time you made eye contact with him, shocked at your own movements as though they were controlled.

"I love you," he says, pulling away from your touch, "I'll be back before bedtime." And he opens the door and leaves before you could respond with anything. Your fingers gently touch your lips as you watch him leave.  You know you should go get a shower, but you cannot move.  His shadowy figure disappears as he goes on the prowl for a new victim leaving you fully alone with your thoughts.  You forced your legs to move to the bathroom, trying to focus on one thought at a time but it was impossible.  Your thought swarmed with him, with your kiss, with how placid his appearance looked as your thumb caressed his cheek despite what he intended to do after he left, with anger and disgust towards yourself and towards him.  

#my writing #jjba x reader #x reader #kira yoshikage x reader #kira yoshikage #yoshikage kira #diamond is unbreakable #jjba part 4 #part 4 #oneshot #probably ooc but started as self indulgent smut so its fine #will be a series eventually #Kira's my secondary f/o but he lends so much better to my self indulgent fics than doppio #reader is between koichi and Kira's age i put her as 23 in my head cause thats my age lol #which is an age gap ig but also the kind i seek out irl soooooooooo

[spicypussywave]

dynamite is the Intelligent Friend every bl ml needs. too bad he's a real weirdo when it comes to his love

#i have trouble shipping them #i can't get past the irl age gap sorry #he's a fun actor tho love the energy #cooking crush #cooking crush the series #naomivents

[padfootastic]

One of my favorite semi-crack headcanons is that Narcissa actually does look like her relatives, she’s got naturally black hair and gray eyes, but she initially started wearing glamor charms/charms to change the color after the war to avoid the number of people giving her suspicious looks for her resemblance to two notorious Death Eaters and her husband who’d only avoided a conviction through Ministry ineptitude and legit everyone suspects him of lying or also lied but knows the truth, but then she just fell into habit of doing this (and uses relatively permanent charms. They can be undone, but they don’t need to be constantly reapplied). Bella escapes from prison and says “what the hell happened to your hair—and your eyes” straight away, first thing she says to her sister after over a decade; Narcissa shrugs and says looking like her convicted criminal cousin and sister wasn’t winning her any favors, better swing the opposite direction to see if that helps. Andromeda, who looks like Bella’s twin, still got suspicious looks but marrying a Muggleborn and having his kid went a long ways toward making people trust her; she has a scathing commentary on her sister deadass changing her appearance to try to dodge the DE allegations and it is one of the first things she says to Sirius after meeting him again. Draco genuinely cannot recognize younger photos of his mother and fully thinks this is her natural appearance; he gets a nasty shock when he learns otherwise and he only discovers the truth because Rabastan was telling his sort of nephew stories of what they all used to be like and found a photo album that had their old pictures. Rabastan watches the kid stare at 16 year old Narcissa Black with her little cousins at her side—all three looking near identical and laughing together—and wonders if he broke the kid and if so, can he fool Narcissa into thinking he didn’t play a role in this; he sadly decides he can’t and frantically tries to calm Draco down, because if Narcissa doesn’t hex him into next year, she’ll just tell Bella and Bella most certainly will. Sirius once saw a recent photo of Cissy and choked on his breakfast, pre-seeing Andy again, asking who the hell that woman was because it sure isn’t his cousin. Upon the younger lot confirming that’s just how she looks now, he hollers for Tonks to go get her mother, Sirius needs to find out what the hell her sister is up to. This is the first time the younger kids meet Andromeda and she makes a hell of an impression

ok but why is this actually hilarious lmao

i think i’ve seen something adjacent to this in a fic where someone (sirius?) makes a crack ab narcissa partially dying her hair blond a la the movies to try and fit in better w the maggots and the thought is honestly too funny.

some teenage girls get a tattoo of their bfs, some teenage boys carve their crush’ names into their hands, and narcissa black permanently colors her hair blond and staunchly stands by that decision well into her adult years (while resolutely cursing her fair skin for betraying her embarrassed flush)

#narcissa malformed #bro that was supposed to be malfoy duh but typo changed it and this is funnier????? #also. the carving name thing is real and happened to a friend of mine #funniest thing? mf spelled her name wrong 😭😭 #people r wild #especially those who think they’re in love #i fully believe narcissa was the kind of teenage girl who made lucius her entire personality #bc like. i imagine them to have an age gap. and a teen girl w an older dude?????? bruh. the way they internalise that shit #unreal #sad irl but v v funny in fiction #pen’s asks

[nkogneatho]

i talk about older men a lot on the internet for someone who clutches her bag in fear and runs for her life if they even try to talk to her.

#let's get this straight: all of this is fictional #okay i like hot old dilfs irl but the thought of dating them is so odd to me #because i will get the ick in my owm relationship because of the age gap #“you a grown ass old man. why you hitting on someone way younger than you?” #so to satisfy my dreams of hot old men i write fics :)) #pasi.txt

[c1nn4-bunny]

Woagh what? Biblically accurate Cecil?

Hello Jon. Apologies for the deception: I'm not actually a rabbit/deer void thing.

Doing a teeny tiny little... thing (not really a study, just a test) on. My actual appearance because. Idk, I've been liking it a lot more recently. (<- got called sir on the bus twice today. felt good.)

Also yes that IS meant to be a wolf shirt, I bought it when I was 13 okay, let a tboy live— (the fact it still fits is proof I haven't grown at all)

And now for the list of every character/person my girlfriend says my average white boy ass looks like /hj

Secondary piece for reference

Cashew (Blush Blush): Yeah I can't deny this one. I'm a standard average sized blondish-brunette white boy, it's unfortunately uncanny... and also the college thing too I guess.

Kim (Omori): ... I don't get this one. I really don't. Maybe hoodie era? Otherwise it's just the glasses.

Wheatley (Portal): No Comment.

Martin (TMA): But I apparently also sound like Jon? [confused cryptid radio show host noises]

Whatever THESE mean

No seriously what do these mean—

Mari wants me to add this one: "you look like a youth pastor."

anyway feel free to add onto this list (/J)

#c1nn4bunny.png #i have no tags to add to this since its just. me #not even my sona just me. #absolutely earth shattering that im NOT an shapeshifting void roseboy irl right? sorry u _ u #my hair is sunbleached so uh. thats why its darker towards the roots #havent died it in a while. #last time was entirely blue ... the dark ages /j #on a note: drawing my gap has honestly made me a lot more comfortable with it #its not like I hated it. i was entirely neutral and if anything annoyed at people trying to get me to do cosmetic procedures to 'fix' it #(spoiler: they wouldn't anyway) but like. normalising it for myself. its cute and adds a bit of uniqueness to me I think. :] #already draw my random scars and specific darker freckles so why not the gap too y'know? #helps to feel comfier in my own skin :3 #also this was colour picked EXACTLY from a pic I took of myself specifically for this. same pose too. #anyway back to drawing myself as a silly bunny thang in every other context specificallyselfshippingiamsosorrymybrainisinfestedrn #lmao wait also elaborating on the 'looks constantly worried' point #I was on the bus a month ago and this guy asked if I was alright. I apparently look constantly on the verge of a panic attack. wonderful. #rbf? no no. i have rff (resting fear face) #there's one other guy I could add a 'oh shit I kinda look like him oh no thats awkward' to but I'd have to change the image for wheatley— #*dyed. im. tired okay

[skitskatdacat63]

super obsessed with your art, seb looks soooooooooooo stunning!!! I am now very curious however, only if you feel like going into it, as to which other historical figures you align with which drivers?👀👀

AAAAAA tysm Grace!!!! Though I am so so so sorry for how rambly and long this post is gonna be, but you just asked me abt one of my brainrots!! I will answer your question but also talk about my history alignments and AUs in general LOL

But if I'm making comparisons of F1 drivers and historical figures, my brain kinda forces me to make it an AU because I'm like "this needs to make absolute sense historically and contextually.)

So, tbh of the four historical AUs that float around my brain, only two of them are really specifically about certain historical figures. The four are: Nandopoleon(About how Fernando reminds me of Napoleon), War of Spanish Succession(mostly about that era, but Seb and Nando are supposed to be paralleling Charles VI and Philip V), Napoleonic Hussars(which is about how , in general, Hussars = F1 drivers), and Rennaissance Muse(this just happens to take place in a different era.)

Explaining my AUs and the historical contexts(proceed with caution, its a lot)

Nandopoleon:

Okay so I'm really really am so deranged about Napoleon = Fernando, but I’ve not posted about it too much because I wanna make a well thought out post about it. But basically I think they’re similar people with similar characteristics and motivations. There was this period of time over the summer where I was only brain rotting about how well any of Napoleon’s quotes fit Fernando(with my fellow nandopoleon confidant @/sweatyflytrap haha.) Here’s some quotes as example: 

“Victory belongs to the most persevering.”

“It is not necessary to bury the truth. It is sufficient merely to delay it until no one cares.”(Piasco era lol)

“Victory is not always winning the battle…but rising every time you fall.”

“From triumph to failure is only one step.”

"A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon."(trophies y'know)

"Always carry champagne! In victory you deserve it, and in defeat you need it!"

Tell me Fernando wouldn't use these as instagram captions! TELL ME!!! But the other thing that was driving me crazy is how well excerpts from the personality/image section of Napoleone's wiki line up with testimonials from Fernando's doc. Examples:

"He cheated at cards, but repaid the losses; he had to win at everything he attempted."(Napoleon) "Whatever activity I take part in, I have this compulsion to find the compeititon in it."(Fernando)

"He could rapidly dictate a series of complex commands to his subordinates, keeping in mind where major units were expected to be at each future point, and like a chess master, 'seeing' the best plays moves ahead"(Napoleon) "When you talk to him, his mental capacity is so strong. He's talking to you, but his brain is thinking ahead"(Fernando)

Like c'mon tell me they aren't at least a bit similar??? There's a lot else I find similar about them but I cannot list my whole manifesto here skdjlsd

Anyways this AU would be Fernando as Napoleon and would be Webbonso -> Strollonso. Basically, Napoleon had two wives: his first wife, who was older than him and who he was super in love with, but had to divorce because they couldn't have kids, but he still loved her deeply. And then his second wife , who was much younger thanhim and from the Austrian royal family, and this was a politically motivated marriage but they still got on pretty well!!(also it's funny, before she married him she didn't want to be with him because the public perception of him made him out to be not the best guy, but then she wrote to her father about how loving and kind he was. very Strollonso, no?)

War of Spanish Succession:

Mostly explained it here and here. I'm not too interested in either Philip V nor Charles VI themselevs as individuals, but rather the roles they fufill in the "story." Though I will say, I got hit with a brick while reading Charles VI's wiki when finding out that he apparently had several male lovers! So I guess my AU having an arranged m/m marriage isn't even that far off the mark hahaha. Why did they have a 13 year war, they should have just arranged a marriage between the two canidates sigh sigh. But yeah, mostly Austria vs. Spain, I think it fits well with the Vettonso rivalry!! They would end up being: Fernando I King of Spain and Sebastian I Holy Roman Emperor hehe. Also I sketched some more:

Napoleonic Hussars:

Explained here as well as with art, and more art here. I'm really still proud of the points I made, I just feel very ardently about it!!! Not about any specific figure, but rather a historical group that I think lines up extremely well with F1 drivers. But this one is fun cause I can kinda insert any driver into it and they'll work pretty well. It's fun to figure out what kingdom what driver would be, either based off their nationality or the nationality of their team. I remember vividly staring at a map from this era trying to figure out where Maranello would be....But like Renault = Kingdom of France and RBR = Kingdom of Austria, and stuff like that

Rennaisance Muse:

Mostly just this post, I've not thought about this one incredibly deeply. Mostly just brainrot about how I think Seb looks like The David with his curly hair

#catie answer an ask without making it a soliloquy challenge: failed #hope this is at least sort of interesting to people other than me! #basically: I like reading about F1. I like reading about history. why not mix them :DDD #also sorry Grace that this ended up being more about my AUs rather than which historical figures align with who #if im gonna compare a driver to a figure then my brain is like 'this needs to make absolute sense historically' so it becomes its own AU #though i think fernando is a much easier driver than any others to make historical comparisons about #and thats really only bcs hes very specific with how he portrays himself and how the public eye is supposed to view him #hes much more of a 'character' and is easier to compare bcs historical figures also end up becoming chararictured bcs of the passage of tim #having a lot of fun with this most recent one!!! the idea of arranged marriage vettonso(with boy king seb) is brainrotting me #all of these have ships as well that theyre kinda focused around #hussars is the most general but Ive already drawn martian for it sooooo #and the rennaisance is also martian #nandopoleon I already said what it would be(god the irl age gaps align so well to each other) #and then obv spanish succession is vettonso arranged marriage #anyways aaaahhhhh fun side projects which I like to research and draw!!! #and ik ive said it a lot but thank you guys for showing interest!! its pretty niche i think.... #catie.asks. #catie.rambling.txt #boy king au #hussar au #nandopoleon alonsoparte

[24062]

i feel like its hard to explain the loneliness of not having friends at all

#like interacting woth mutuals 1-2 times a week isnt the same as a full blown friendship #it just doesnt fill the gap in my heart that i want it too #but i dont work and im not in school so how do i make friends? #actively getting myself out there is possible but where is ‘there’ exactly? #how do i meet ppl my age and make friends with common interests #especially irl friends cause i understand making online friends is easier #but the distance is still a barrier i dont want to have #my lonliness just feels all consuming to the point that #its not lonliness its just who i am. just someone who is alone always #speaking

[miscreantahead]

Everyone's like "luffy was a minor when they met!" as if "minor" isn't based in law rather than ethics to begin with, and then they're like "but he's not anymore!" when he's literally only nineteen now and Law is 27. I don't understand. I don't get it. Why do we talk about the power dynamics in age gaps as if eighteen is the cutoff when that's literally just US law. Why is someone not an adult 2 yrs ago and now an adult 2 years later. Is it less that we find it unappealing because it would best be approached including the hurdles and difficulty to understand one-another emotionally for two people at vastly different points in their lives, and the actual on screen dynamic doesn't allow for much of that? Or is it that we think we're going to get arrested for shipping?

#i dont REALLY have a problem with lawlu but I can't not get squicky about the EIGHT year age gap when one of them is still under twenty #i mean I don't really care from a narrative perspective but if that same age gap was irl??? #the chances that that COULD be a relationship that didn't ruin the younger one's life long term feel slim to none #so I can't fucks with it #but the discourse on it is so silly sometimes #like “luffy WAS a minor” yeah and he's only 2 years removed from that now who cares #why do we STILL treat 18 like a magic number that flips a switch