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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 16 days

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It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 29] || [Chapter 31]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.4K~ cw: injuries + recovery Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: johnny is a filthy man :) but also we love him so is that a problem? no, it's not.

Chapter 30: Playing House

It took a while, but, Simon got healthy, and John and Kyle got their soreness’ settled enough to be able to go back to work.

Johnny, however, needed a little extra TLC. Being shot in the shoulder involved a longer period of medical leave, paired with a long while of physical therapy…

And that means that he decided to make himself your problem.

The rest of the lads left on a mission a few days after being cleared and, as such, left Johnny with you. Not because the lad is incapable of looking after himself, but more so because he, himself, decided he didn’t want to be away from you.

And so, whenever you leave for work, Johnny leaves for PT, then, goes to base for a bit, mostly doing work on things that he can feasibly do without straining his left shoulder/arm… Like doing paperwork and reports, going to the gym for cardio, crunches, and leg and hip workouts… Then he comes home to you.

He goes shopping for you, cooks you dinner, cleans after the two of you, despite your insistence that he rest… But, as it turns out, Johnny isn’t good at that.

Nonetheless, the flat is cleaner than ever before, Johnny’s drawing supplies are permanently stationed on the dining room table, next to your laptop, and some of his clothes have taken a permanent spot in your closet.

And, of course, he spends every night in your bed, spooning you from behind and hiding his face in your neck while you watch tiktoks, talk, or he regale you with the most ridiculous of puns.

In a way, it’s like Johnny MacTavish is your live-in boyfriend. Or, rather, that you’re playing house with him.

You wouldn’t say you hate it. In fact, it’s quite nice to have someone staying with you all night… Johnny is a good partner, he’s helpful and chill and provides wonderful cuddles…

Though you’ve jokingly started calling him ‘Johnny Price’, because, since he hasn’t been working for a month now, he’s let his beard grow out. And he looks like Price more often than he does not.

It’s on week three of your new routine with Johnny when you’re at work, that you get a text from him:

Johnny: guess what bonnie. Johnny: [1 Video Attachment]

You definitely should’ve put on some headphones before you watched that video during work… His grunting and groaning was almost pornographic and definitely earned you a few confused/worried looks from your coworkers…

But all you could think of was how he was finally easing back into his arm/shoulder workouts, which meant he finally got cleared by his PT to do as such!

you: did you finally get cleared johnny? 🥺 Johnny: cleared at 50%. Johnny: not there yet. but soon. you: I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! 🫶🫶🫶 Johnny: thank ye bonnie you: this calls for a celebration! Johnny: i like how ye think bonnie but im not cleared yet to be able to manhandle ye 😏 you: get ur mind out of the gutter johnny price!!!!!!!! Johnny: oof not ye still calling me that! you: ur beard is looking like his what do u expect of me! 🙄 Johnny: yer right idk what i expected. Johnny: so about this celebration. you: i was thinking we go out for dinner? Johnny: are we going to dress up nice? you: i wasn’t thinking we’d go somewhere super fancy because i do not have money johnnyyyy Johnny: oh good because i dont think i can button up a shirt my shoulder is sore 😖 you: okay then! nando’s!!! 🫶 you: and i’ll give you a shoulder rub when we get home Johnny: speaking my language bonnie.

And so that’s what you did. You went home in a hurry to shower and change, and, for once, Johnny wasn’t there, having chosen to shower and change at base.

You met up in front of the Nando’s closest to your flat and you immediately chuckled at the sight of him. Sure, he had changed, but he was still very much wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers and a grey zip-up hoodie… Although you could very obviously tell he was naked beneath the hoodie.

“Mo leannan.” He murmured in an exaggeratedly polite tone as he popped the door open for you with his good arm.

“Thank you, my good sir…” You joked, which caused you both to chuckle and shake your head.

You got inside, ordered your food and, as you talked, you site adjacent to him, right on his left side, so you could gently rub his arm with your hand.

“Do you miss the lads?” You ended up asking him as you caressed his bicep and shoulder with your hand, watching him wince a bit at it, because he felt so sore from his first workout.

“A little.” Johnny admitted as he looked toward you. “Do you miss ‘em?” He returned the question. You found yourself nodding in reply.

“Having you here is wonderful though… I… quite miss you lot when you’re all gone together. Not to mention I worry sick for you.” You admitted and pressed your lips together a bit awkwardly.

“You do?” He asked you, to which you nodded. So, he continued. “Well.. I guess I understand. I imagine my mam and sisters worry about me too… As do the Kyle and the Captain’s families.” He conceded.

“That’s actually…” You found yourself trailing off as the waiter brought you your orders and you thanked him, unboxing your food so you could dig in.

“As I was saying…” You trailed off. “That’s actually an interesting point… I feel like I know very little about you and the guys’ when it comes to your personal lives… Outside of hobbies and what you do with me.” You mused as you glanced at him as he dug into his double chicken burger one-handed.

“I don’t know much about the others myself to be honest with you.” Johnny admitted as he stole one of your chips off your plate.

“Really?” You asked softly as you ate your own sandwich yourself, nodding along as he continued speaking.

“We try to keep our… ‘outside’ lives under wraps. Even being a team… what we talk about is always very superficial.” He trailed off.

“So you don’t know anything about the rest of them, nor them about you?” You cocked a brow in confusion.

“Oh, no, bonnie, I talk about myself a whole lot, I’m a blabber mouth, me.” He joked and winked at you. “But family is one of those topics that’s best kept under wraps in our line of work.” He told you as he leaned in, rubbing his thumb on the corner of your mouth to wipe it clean of peri-peri sauce. Then, he sucked his own thumb clean.

“What about me? Do I get to know about you?” You asked him playfully as you leaned forward, setting your elbow on the table as you lean in to him, eyebrows raised in intrigue.

“Tell ye what, bonnie.” Johnny leaned toward you too, licking his fingers clean and then wiping them on a napkin before he set a hand on your thigh under the table. “Anything I tell ye about my family is not going to do them justice… So how about I take ye up to meet my family over the summer… And ye meet them directly? Could even take the Captain, Simon and Kyle with us.” He offered.

Your eyes widened a bit and you blinked away the surprise, staring at him like he had grown a second head.

“Meeting your family? Really? Isn’t it a bit early for that…?” You chuckled a bit sheepishly.

“Aye, maybe it is…” He trailed off. “But at this point, I’m basically livin’ wit ye and ye’ve looked after me in sickness, haven’t ye?” He joked. “And I’ve fended off yer ex… so I’ve looked after ye in health, haven’t I?”

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you shook your head. You knew he was just joking, the look in his eyes showed it… “Are you implying that we’re married, Johnny?” You teased him playfully.

“I’m just saying…” He trailed off playfully, a playful smirk on his lips. “And, if we were married, not saying that we are,… I’d make sure to take ye home tonight and rearrange yer guts if ye let me, mo leannan.”

Looking away and biting your lip, you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Shut it…” You trailed off. “You need to rest, your shoulder’s bad still.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t use my mouth on ye… and that you can’t be on top.” He added before he grabbed another one of your chips and popped it in his mouth.

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taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):

@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,

@tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva ,

@emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes ,

@irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @cod-z , @frescoisnotinthemilitary ,

@leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @xxshadowbabexx , @severenswife , @enarien ,

@agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind ,

@neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine ,

@kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 ,

@gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 ,

@kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust ,

@thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #141 x reader

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habken · 4 months

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oh my gosh fellow animation student !! I love learning about other people's art school experience, if you'd be willing to share? I think the diversity of assignments and teaching styles and focuses is cool 🩷 love your art as well !!

Yeah I can share a bit ! I’ve really enjoyed the program so far, I think I’ve learned a lot and I’ve gotten the chance to use programs I wouldn’t have access to usually!

First semester I had 9 classes (I’m counting story lab + lecture as two separate ones) and it was honestly pretty difficult to keep up with the workload, especially because I was still finishing up zine work. I had so many assignments, there were many weeks I’d have something due everyday, sometimes multiple things in the same day, so time management was a big struggle and I ended up having to sacrifice the amount of drawing I did for fun and for socmed </3 I think that was the biggest bummer cause it meant I lost both what helped me relieve stress and something that made me happy :/

While the work was intense and time consuming, I really did enjoy what I was making for each class. My favourite classes were character design, storyboarding, and animation. I felt like they were the ones I did best in and I realized loved my animation teacher her classes were really fun and I laughed a lot lol. I also really enjoyed my life drawing class, I have a lot of respect for my teacher, he marked harshly but I learned so much under him and my life drawing skills have improved a lot since september. He also collects bones and brought them in and it was super cool. He told us all the stories of were he’d picked them up, like asking farmers or finding roadkill and cleaning them.

Overall in each class, I really appreciated the critique I’ve gotten and I feel like I’ve really improved! I actually dropped out of art school before and one of the main reasons was because I felt like I wasn’t really getting anything out of the program. My stuff was nowhere near perfect but I was one of the better students so teachers used my stuff as an example rather than see me as a student that also was there to learn. I hated that so I left, and I’m really happy I don’t feel that way in the program I’m in now!

What I will say though is one of the hardest lessons to learn is that you can’t go 100% on every single thing, it’s just straight up impossible unless you don’t take care of yourself and get no sleep. It sucks because you want to do your best and be amazing at everything, but an assignment that’s half assed is better than handing in nothing at all and also better than permanently hurting yourself because you push through the pain and don’t allow yourself any rest.

One of the things that sucked the most assignment wise was my bone portfolio for life drawing, I had so much planned out and I really wanted to do amazing, but I had to cut a lot out to get it done on time, and so the finished project was lacking a lot. I got a decent mark for it, but personally I know it could’ve been so much better, and I just have to live with the sacrifice I made so I could get all my work done on time lol

I don’t want to share too much more about the assignments I did, but I was really proud of my work in my character design class and also my last storyboard assignment, where we took part of a script and made new boards based on it. I got a lot of compliments from the teacher about my attention to detail with subtle and human actions. I’m happy cause that’s the kind of stuff I love portraying and love seeing in films haha.

One other thing is I was so close to failing layout, the last two assignments I left until the very end and almost didn’t get them in one time before teacher’s grades were due, and without them I would’ve failed the class. As it stands, I got over a 90 average so the two assignments made a big difference lmao.

Sorry this was so long lol

#ask

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spectralsleuth · 7 months

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Last chapter! @alicat54cwriting IT’S BEEN AN HONOR. o7 I’ve learned so much writing with you and had so much fun.

Guys as we get closer to the end of the year (and the anniversary of me starting LSoW) I’m sure I’ll be getting a lot more emotional.

I started writing it coming off of a very very long bout of depression that I don’t think I realized effected me as much as it did until I was on the other side. I wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating, and I didn’t create anything for almost five years when previously I would never put a pencil down. It actually took a huge chunk of my life away now that I’ve allowed myself to think about it.

This year has been like dragging myself out of a hole, and I’ve always been such a huge fan of TMNT all the way from when the 2003 series was airing, so I knew I could write something that I would enjoy now that I was in the mindset to start creating again! So I did. And I’m still nowhere near finished.

Feeling so much better this year also encouraged me to reach out to other fans, and engage with the fandom a bit, and I’m super glad I did because enjoying things outside of a vacuum is far better than doing it alone. I like to think of some of the people I’ve met this year as friends.

Li was one of those people and I am super proud of what we made. The idea that I can look at this years from now and remember opening the google doc and discord at two am while I was in bed, and having full yelling conversations about baby turtles and Master Splinter with them makes me really happy.

Here’s to writing and creating more! I’m hoping within the next two weeks I’ll start posting more of LSoW, and I hope you guys really enjoy it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

#lsow #EiL #empathy is learned #my fic #depression #rottmnt #tmnt #tmntau #rottmnt AU

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karliahs · 22 days

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Hi, lovebird!!! Hope you're doing well <333 For the crafter's ask game, maybe 🌟🌼 and/or 💖, perhaps??? Wishing you a lovely rest of your day!

ahhh thank you for the ask! here ya go:

🌟 What is your favourite type of crafting (knitting, crocheting, sewing, embroidery, etc) and why?

so crafts I've done are knitting, crochet, and very recently have been dabbling in pottery

crochet is definitely my favourite! I knit for a few years and the stuff you can make with knitting is really cool, but my manual dexterity is actually not that great and knitting never really felt natural even just in terms of like, the basics of holding the needles, even after a long time of working at it. plus crochet just feels soooo fast compared to knitting and I love that quicker gratification. and I love all the squares! satisfying to make and super pretty

I gave pottery a go bc I like tactile crafts and it's definitely fun! doing it at a studio is expensive and kinda stressful though bc I'd rather make stuff in private. I think I’m gonna try doing air-dry clay stuff at home and see how that goes. I do want to do a wheel class at some point though!

🌼 Do you have a project (current or a past one) you want to talk about?

my current project is kind of on hold while I give my wrist a rest/fuck it up in a different way playing persona 5 all the time, which is a shame bc I'm very close to being done. i'm making myself a jumper and it's nearly done, just gotta do more ribbing and attach it all together:

I made my dad a jumper last year and it was somehow very easy, I had to kind of eyeball size but it came out fitting perfectly without ever needing to adjust

this gave me profoundly unrealistic expectations for how easy it is to make a jumper that fits. goddamn. I'm a gauge checking convert thanks to this thing but even after checking and measuring a lot I've still had to remake sections of it several times

but I looooove the yarn so much:

all the river washed yarn colours are amazing and it took me a long time to choose one. I really love yarn with like semi-subtle variance in the colours, and yellow and purple is one of my fave colour combos. in subtle lighting it just kind of looks like a nice purple, but it goes super vivid and almost pink in lots of natural light

💖 Which one of your creations are you the proudest? Show off!

it's definitely not the most technically complex thing Ive ever made but I adore this bag I made for my sister:

have never felt so conflicted about giving something away lmao. the colours work so nicely together and she gets compliments on it all the time

at some point I want to make a bunch more of these squares and try and make myself a cardigan

i'm also pretty proud of some of the stuff i made in pottery class that are not fired yet, gotta show those off once i pick them up next week

#talking #crochet tag #asks

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ninacarstairss · 1 year

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hello cece my beloved soulmate <3

it is that time, the time where i promised i would tell you about my slight break over these two weeks! i made a cup of tea for you to keep your hands warm while i tell you all about it <3

so firstly, the musical. so as you know, i went to see six the musical, and it was so good! it was a historical musical similar to hamilton, but it was about king henry viii's six wives and they were in a GIRL GROUP! the music was so good, and i have so much envy for how much stamina the performers had, considering there were only the six of them doing all the vocals and all the dancing with no break. it was almost like being at a concert! and i also got taken to this fine dining restaurant attached to the theatre beforehand and i had this really nice rigatoni dish and a mango sorbet (and an apple cider hehe). it was amazing :D

so i took this whole weekend off (friday-sunday) so i could travel and not worry for time. i celebrated one of my best friend's birthdays at a korean bbq place, and it was so good. i've never done it before and it has been on my bucket list for quite some time. i also had soju for the first time as well, it was this peach flavour and i almost forgot it was alcoholic (it was like three drinks in one LMAO) because it tastes exactly like peaches. my friend also really liked her gift (she discovered young royals, so i got her this young royals tote bag), so that made me happy :')

and then the big event of the weekend, i still haven't processed it has happened, but i went and saw rina sawayama in concert. RINA SAWAYAMA! she's actually a real person???? i did tear up seeing her, i will not lie. my throat is sore from singing every single word (i was so proud of myself). i'm sad that lots of my concert videos were ruined by people who are six foot tall and waited to be at the front. (i only got there two hours early and i was second row from the front.), but it was a spiritual experience nevertheless.

and the people there were so nice, it was almost homely. a guy said he loved my glasses (i bought these red elton john looking glasses just for the show) and i took them off while telling him about them, and then he was like "your eye makeup! shut the fuck up, i love it!" unfortunately, i lost him once we got into the venue and my eye makeup melted :'( we also had some people try and invite us out to go clubbing after, but i was so overwhelmed with seeing rina IN PERSON!!! and also i had red tear streaks down my face from my sweat reactivating my red water-activated eyeliner. plus, i don't think i would have gotten into the clubs with two shirts folded into my pockets...

anyways, enough about me! tell me how your day and your week has been, what you've been up to. has work been treating you well? have you been getting more rest? looking after yourself properly? i'm sending you a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead <3333

hiii nero my beloved soulmate!!! i’d missed you!! <3

aw how did you know?? my hands are super cold right now, i really need that cup of tea <3

no way!! NO WAY!!! the six wives of henry viii in a girl group??? i feel the need to see this musical now. honestly a girl group, and they were singing and dancing all the time?? i’m in love just hearing you talk about it!! it sounds like it was really amazing!!! and that rigatoni dish and mango sorbet also sound sooo good :D

A YOUNG ROYALS TOTE BAG?? 😻 i’m in love and i need one too now!!! i’m very glad your friend liked it but of course she would!!! also, i’ve never tried soju and now i really want to!! i’m really craving peaches and soju

YOU WENT TO SEE RINA??? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?? nero i’m so happy for you!!! your love for rina sawayama is legendary and i can’t believe you saw her live!!! i really hate all those super tall people at concerts but i’m so happy you loved it and you sand every ingle word!!! you know it was a really great concert when you’ve got a sore throat for screaming along to the songs

and the people 🥺 god i love those concerts where the people are just like a family. it makes the whole atmosphere so much better. and those glasses must have looked so cool!!! also, i love water activated eyeliners, but they do not hold up well with sweat lol but it’s a concert so of course your make up would totally melt during it 😂 but the read tear streaks down your face must have looked so cool!!! and sorry but how exactly did you have two shirts folded into your pockets?? 😂

i’m so happy it was such a great weekend!! it really sounds like it was wonderful and i’m so happy you saw rina IN PERSON!!! i could listen to you talk about this musical and this concert for days!! and also the food :)

as for me, i have been getting a little more sleep, and i also got more time to catch up with some friends and relax!! i have two days off this week (finally) and last week i went to a birthday party with some friends from work that i barely manage to see out of the shop, and we had a lot of fun. we also ate a lot at the buffet of course :D and now i’m currently sitting on my bed, wrapped in a warm blanket with simba purring on my lap, and this is how i plan to spend my whole day off 😌

i’m hugging you back real tight and spinning you around to the music of rina sawayama <3

#this letter is amazing kanodjdke #i’m so happy it was such an amazing weekend #nero my beloved!!! <3

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twinkodium · 8 months

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okay i’m freeee and finally got time to answer again 😁😁

truly!! i mean i’ve been lucky too to have been free for almost three months now + when uni was still on, i didn’t have classes every day… but now i will have work almost every day during the weekends, idk how i will manage 😭 monza will be horrible for me :((

i love them, our polite aussie boys <3 honestly racing is racing, shit happens, and im always happy when drivers don’t get too worked up about it. like sure you have a lot of emotions when you drive and it’s understandable to get upset, but i have a lot of respect for those who keep their cool and remember that it’s a rough sport, sometimes people get injured and that sucks but choose another sport if you don’t want the risk 🤷‍♀️

you’d go broke love, the piggy bank would be completely empty 😭 the old “um yeah i did it because… you know the bruises… and you needed to see them… i was karting and… 😳”-excuse! i have used it so many times before 🤭 i maaaaay have a thing for blondes…. and god idk there’s just something about his smile? i can’t help but to smile whenever i see him smile?? 🫶 i realized after sending my last ask that i literally have liam as my pfp…. idk what i meant by not having liam on my blog when he’s right there 🫠 it’s not like it’s super clear that it’s him but still, pretty boy 🥰

6-8 weeks is long but not super super long i guess!! like i love love love daniel truly but god if liam does well these next few weeks… it would make me so happy 🥹 don’t even wanna think about him getting points…….. i love him doing well in super formula but i haven’t paid for the like subscription so id rather see him in f1 yk 🤭 the rumors! you can never be sure what’s going on in rb/at this year… do they even know themselves? probably not

thank you for keeping me updated on liam pics through the day <3 would’ve gone crazy without it

(sweetheart you’re actually so cute 😭 popular extroverted friend pls 😭😭 very thankful that thirsting over oscar has brought us together!! the power he (and his hands/neck/arm) holds 🤭🤭🤭🤭)

Ayeee lucky meee🫶🏼 my dash must be loving our ask exchanges 😂 so once again a keep reading section!

Free for three months? Damn, I’m jealous 😩😩 but working on weekends doesn’t attract me, sounds awful 😭 I’m happy to have my weekends off all time, my workplace is pretty flexible and we don’t work on weekends anyway so big plus for me! I’m so sorry that you’ll be missing most of Monza 😭😭

Most of the time it’s not drivers that got worked up on a crash but their fans… drivers already move on pretty quickly while their fans talking about the same thing for months 😭 honestly I want to see honest and emotion filled interviews with drivers, it’s way better than a pr answer for everything but also not being too disrespectful to others but show those emotions 😌

Well, I am broke anyways so let’s bring it on 👀 THATS THE ONE! like no waaaay he took that photo only to show off his bruises… we all know Liam that they take thrist pics and release them when we least expect… oh blondies for the win 👀 gotta say there is something special about them, have a crush on a few myself. Now Oscar is crying in the corner LMAO he just have to get a haircut hahaha IKR I FEEL THE SAME, it’s just so captivating, like you can’t help just smile too 🥹🥹🥹 I know it’s him it’s from his streamer era 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 loved the chaotic energy he had every time he was streaming 😂 I’d have never used that you like Liam if it wasn’t for your pfp like literally no trace of him on your blog??? Just Oscar 🫨🫨 you gotta change that!

Not too bad but also he deffo needs time after that to build up the confidence again and everything but hope to see him back soon🫶🏼 uff if he gets points in Monza I’ll be screaming my lungs out! I’m already so damn happy and proud 🥺 yeah me neither plus because of the time difference I’d not be able to watch anyways 😕 I honestly have no clue, I’m just going to pray that my boys are safe and maybe Liam gets a seat next year 🥹🥹🥹 gotta manifest it😌

Awwww no worries buttercup, made me happy to see him with the boys 😍😍

(That’s deffo you, and I’m just silently supporting you and stalking like a crazy person cuz I do adore you 😭😭me tooo fans going crazy over Oscar have to stick together 😌 I’d like to see the power his hands have like… 😩😩😩😩 okay sorry tmi almost hahaha)

#asks #oscnorris #Jackie 🧡#buttercup 🥰#Liam #Oscar #daniel #love these long asks with you #but I’m sure dash is going crazy scrolling through them haha #its slowly turning into a Liam thirsting blog rather than Oscar hahaha #love both of them with my whole heart 🥺

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bihansthot · 1 year

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I had rough times and deleted everything on my phone to feel a bit better. Just downloaded tumblr few mins ago and instantly I got the notification of your post. Damn I missed out what happened lately… first of all I know your bday is passed but still HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Second: CONGRATULATIONS!! That’s a big thing actually but people have different opinions and reactions to stuff so I don’t wanna be all negative about what just happened and your HUSBAND? When did that happened, I feel like I’m in the movie interstellar. Love you and I hope you feel better soon! 🤍🤍

You know I’ve been awful at responding lately when I missed two bday wishes and my bday was over two weeks ago. I’m so sorry it took me so long to get back to you as you probably know my life has just been medical chaos lately.

We sat down and had a good talk about it and it turns out I had totally misconstrued what they meant and I got upset for no reason. My partner (I’m trying to be better about using this term instead of husband now because they are nonbinary) explained that they very much wanted to celebrate my transplant anniversary with me and that I deserved that and reassured me that they were just in a bad head space at the time because they had been so worried about me lately with all the medical problems and hospital visits. I had no idea they had been so worried and stressed out about me because my partner has high functioning autism and adhd so they have a hard time expressing or showing emotion, so we agreed to try and be better about letting one another know when we were worried or anxious.

The current plan is we’re going to go to Las Vegas the weekend of the 25th of Aug and my actual transplant anniversary is the 25th. So it works out nicely for time off purposes for them that it’s on a Friday, I really want to go to the Bacchanal Buffet and Din Tai Fung and stay at the Luxor but everything else is kind of up in the air. I’m really proud of myself for making enough mental progress over these last few years to finally enjoy and celebrate this huge milestone, I may still hate the fact I had to have a heart transplant in the first place but it’s the reason I’m still here and dammit I’m going to eat some amazing food, get drunk and play slot machines because I’ve been through a shit load and deserve a celebration. I also want to honor and celebrate my donor though because without them I wouldn’t still be here and they are no longer with us, so I’ve decided to stop being a sad miserable, depressed, pitiful creature and live life for both of us. It took me a long ass time to get out of the self loathing, wanting to end everything pit but I finally am happy with life and happy with living so I’m going to make sure they get to experience that too in whatever philosophical way you want to interpret that.

So, for clarification sake I’ve been married to my then husband now partner for over 10 years now, we started dating 17 years ago and have been together ever since. I just don’t talk about them or being polyamorous too much because I see a lot of hate towards nonbinary people and polyamorous people, to clarify I’m AFAB personally gender fluid though I lean female and use female pronouns, I’m also pansexual if anyone was wondering but prefer men. My partner is AMAB, bisexual, nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns and I’m super proud of them for discovering who they are, because it hasn’t been easy for them. My boyfriend on the other hand is AMAB uses he/him pronouns and is very heterosexual but isn’t a cis het douche he’s all for trans rights and a good guy all around. So to summarize I’m polyamorous and have a partner of 17 years and a boyfriend of almost 9 months now. Both relationships are going very well and my mental health has never been better.

I hope your doing better my love I know you mentioned you went through a rough patch and I hope that’s all over now. I’m sending all the love.

#sol life #polyamourous #non bianry #gender fluid #pansexual #this post is all over the place #heart transplant #anniversary

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simonthechaste · 1 year

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Shoe smooching successfully completed

Thank you everybody for commenting on my question of whether I should kiss my cute co-worker's shoes. As you can read from the title, I did as all of you suggested and gave both a good kiss. And it felt so good.

I did wait a bit before doing so, though. This week was a bit rough, work wise so I thought to myself, what a better way to reward myself, than doing it only after the week was over, right before I left the workplace on Friday.

It did feel a bit curious going to the filthy toilet during the week though. I had done my decision now and I knew I would get to kiss them, or would have to kiss them, however one likes to look at it, because I had made the whole thing public.

And I swear, the calling of the shoes laying on the disgusting toilet floor got louder and louder all through the week. Almost as if they had known my predicament and were taunting me. It was so weird, I can tell you.

On Friday, after the day was done, I finally stepped stepped into the toilet, took the shoes into my hand and gave each one a long, long kiss with my eyes closed and thinking of my colleague.

I could have never believed how good it would feel. It was almost as if she was still wearing the shoes, or at least was present, watching me do it. I don't think I have ever felt being so close to her.

Only recently I realized this also mean me losing the shoe kissing virginity. At least I am fairly certain this was the first time I got to do it.

The story continues, though. The thing is, on Friday I managed also to talk myself an extra shift on Saturday with my colleague. Naturally I won't be paid for that time either, and it also meant my weekend will be one day long, but I must say it was totally worth it.

The day was great. It was busy, sure, and we were working our asses off, as the saying goes. But at the same time we were constantly kidding with each other, and the day just flew by. If every day was like that I would feel guilty if I got paid.

The reason I took the extra shift was in fact a comment I got on chat, that I must do my best not to constantly stare at her feet the next time I see her. And since we don't normally work together I felt an extra shift with her was needed,

And I did manage not to stare at her feet, I'm proud to say. When the Saturday shift was over and we were both getting our things she finally headed to toilet, saying something like: "And I will get my shoes now, before any of you get to idea of start sniffing them."

"Oh man, wouldn't that be something", I replied to her jokingly. "Yes, but now it's too late, muahhahaha!", she continued in equally joking manner, and I replied: "Bummer!" You should have seen the smile I had on my face afterwards when she wasn't looking.

In the back of my mind I did regret I hadn't think of smelling the shoes as well, when I had the chance. Then again, kissing the shoes is just as intimate and humiliating as smelling them, perhaps even more so?

So, it's been quite a week. Thinking back, I could go as far as to say that the whole shoe kissing escapade was the most erotic and sexual thing that has happened to me in the course of past five years or so.

It's hard to say what my colleague would think if she knew about all this. As far as I know, she is kinky, even though more on the submissive side. Knowing her though, I feel the most I think she would have done would have been an eye roll and a chuckle.

However, as I said earlier, I don't want her to know, because the last thing I want is for her to do is to think of me as yet another stalker. She has had those, and she has to deal with unwanted attention daily. She is now a happy relationship and I want nothing but best for her.

Unfortunately, like all good things have a habit of doing at some point, my time at the workplace is soon coming to an end. However, I am super thankful of the time I have been allowed to spend with her. I really am.

#Chaste Fantasies original text

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such-a-sad-girl-77 · 1 year

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Well, yesterday was the last day for our weight competition at work. I did not win, however I lost 17 lbs from when we started in January and took second place. It may not sound like a lot, but I am super proud of it. I started out at 160 lbs and ended at 143. I have been weighing myself daily now to find the average and my average weight for the past week was 143. I did weigh myself this morning and almost died because I weighed 140.6 lbs. I couldn’t be happier about seeing that on the scale. It has been years since I’ve been below 150. I have a long way to go to reach my UGW but I am going to keep working at it. Once school is done for the semester I can get back into the gym and build up some muscle so I’m definitely looking forward to it. We are going to keep weighing ourselves each week but it won’t be a competition anymore. I am glad because this will keep me in check and keep me more motivated to get thin. Also good because my coworker is going on a cruise in November too, so we are both trying to keep fit and thin to look good on our cruises.

Current Stats:

HW: 183

CW: 140-143

GW: 130

UGW: 115

Wish you guys luck in reaching you UGW! 🥰

#i wanna lose weight #i want to be tiny #i want to be small #i wanna be thinner #i wanna be weightless #i want to be bones #tw edd #edblrr #low cal restriction

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pashminalamb · 1 year

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Hello again!! Saw your response to my last ask and uhhh guess I’m getting kinda predictable huh 😅? I’m sorry if it bothers or annoys you, I just like consistent communication with the people I like so like I always try to do that cause reassurance is important to me so I want the other person to feel reassured too you know? But if it’s too much let me know and I’ll dial it down promise!! Your works hitting over 200 notes is an amazing accomplishment you should be so proud of yourself and if you’re not pls know that I am. Running a blog isn’t easy, much less maintaining and putting out such amazing works. I’m glad you’re feeling better!! And yeah writing blocks are so annoying but I feel that once you hit that stride, you start running and can’t stop. If that makes sense? It’s what I’ve gone through with my experience anyways. Tbh I’ve been better. Life isn’t the best rn and I’m super busy and drained atm. I’m pretty sure it’s burnout but I’ll manage somehow. Also my favorite character is Bachira but like almost every other character ties for second so like 💀. I swear I’m like this with every show/series. I end up with my favorite character and then there’s everyone else it’s always so hard to choose like I love all my babies adhkkghkhhh. Anyways it’s always so fun to talk to you I can’t wait to read the next part of my tears your company but obv take your time. As always I hope your day goes well whenever you read this and that you’re doing good and *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

✨ anon !!

Omg no bb ૮₍ ˃̵͈᷄ . ˂̵͈᷅ ₎ა I meant it in a good way! Like when I release any blue lock fic I look forward to the reaction you have cause the blog goes both ways with the author/writer writing and uploading fics and the reader interacting with it along with the fact that they make my day. And i like consistent communication as well!! (꜆˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)꜆ So yeah, you're always welcomed in my blog and I enjoy responding to your asks! Even if there is more than one or two or even many! (like that one time where you saw me upload the third edition and came back with the review? My roommate heard me cackle like a Hyena.)

I like seeing people ask or talk about fics or even life outside of it cause at the end of the day its another living and breathing person on the other side of the screen and conversations are important to them as much as it is to you, rest assured, I like having you in my blog and it makes me smile each time I see an ask from you or anyone okay?

You're well liked (trust me when i see the ✨ anon I get serotonin) and I don't find you annoying; you have nothing to apologize for, okay?

૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ა

And don't dial down the energy! It's what keeps me hyped and this blog going (´,,>ω<,,`)♡ ;

its reassuring to me when i have something in my inbox cause silence when you have so many followers isn't fun yk? It kinda makes the blog blank... Interact with an author and their works, get to know them, it makes their day too ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა and vice versa

I'm glad you think my works are amazing cause ngl when I'm reading through it I'm just sitting there like 'How did people let this mistake slip' ૮꒰- ˕ -꒱ა *groans*

Speaking of my writing block, I took a break and went on yt for a bit and found sumasumthing that gave me an idea to write for both NNN and for further part of the series (¬‿¬) no spoilers. Just wait ꒰ ⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖

But yeah it does work that way, once you overcome that block, you just keep running until you hit another, but you'll overcome that as well. <(˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)

Oh no, I'm sorry that you feel burntout :'< ; cause this was literally me a week ago. Everytime I have a burnout its cause of everything that is going on and its too much to handle sometimes so I kept telling myself three things :

'We'll cross the bridge when we get there.'

'Living in the moment happening right now is more important, what comes tomorrow comes.'

'Nothing is permanent.'

Take care of yourself; don't push too hard, push as much as you can. (づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡

ooooh Bachira!! He's sweet, I'm actually adding him and a few more characters to the fourth edition of the series. But yes !! It is so hard to choose one person Aiku stan mon ange

I mean you got 11 players + more and you even have the coaches *confused screaming insert* cause they are literally the whole bakery

My day is going fine chipped my nail polish with pistachios, been reading from my book shopping that I went for yesterday, planning to start fourth season of Haikyuu but I wanna watch this movie that I've been keeping on hold (Drive my car- cause its straight up my alley.. kinda like driving miss daisy? Yes I am THAT old in taste )

*sending back hugs* ꒰ ੭´ ˘ `૮꒱ Hope you get better soon!! Bachira sends kisses!

#saint.σ #.lost sheep : ✨ anon

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jupitercomet · 1 year

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hello my love!!

one, don’t apologize for ghosting us!! we get you need to rest and don’t blame you for that. so no feel bad i forbid it 😤😤 i’m pretty sure my classes start again on the 4th of january. maybe that’s not as short as i thought, but i still might die. but my last day that assignments are due are this weekend so i get like a week or so. i’m just generally exhausted bc of working so often and need to sleep for a week.

ugh, i know it was sad because he was tall and broad and i was super in love with him? but hey guess what?? i think i’m finally starting to get over my ex😭 (knock on fucking wood) but basically like i’m starting to rationalize with myself like why would i want someone that always lied to me and was super fucking awful to me back again? like why would i want that now? so that’s been super nice. time to find me a lewis pullman doppelgänger. and… did you say.., did you say cowboy bob au? did i tear up at the thought? 100% i did. i’m just saying, if you ever did that i’d be on my knees so quick-

but yes you have to let me know what you think!!! its like sci fi cowboy but it’s pretty good and i’m waiting for the next season. also, lewis is gonna play a corrupt youth pastor and idk what to think😭😭 like idk if i’m allowed to be attracted to him but i’ve already seen pictures and it’s gonna be bad for my moral compass😂😂

anyway, sorry i’m talking your ear off but i missed you!! how was your day today?? did you get more rest?

ptmff💗💗 (i think i got that right)

-🧚‍♀️

oh my gosh, that is kind of short, my next semester doesn't start until like two weeks after that?? but I'll be thinking of you at the end of the week and hoping your sleeping bby <3

I am so pro getting over your ex!! like so proud of you 😊😊

okay, so I won't start anymore ideas until I at least finish one of my other series because I have a problem but I'm going to talk about it anyway because I want to 😤 here's my idea:

okay so Bob is classic farm hand cowboy helper man, like maybe Penny owns a a ranch or something and he helps out with the cows

reader (lets call her buttercup) works at the local library, reads to the little kids, listens to the older folk talk about their past loves, all that shit

Penny's ranch is doing something with the library for whatever reason and she sends Bob over to talk to the head librarian and that's when he sees buttercup and the man is in love

he notices the book she's reading (idk something cute, I can't remember the last time I read a book 💀 ooh! maybe the princess bride) and is like "oh, okay"

cue Bob stopping by the library any chance he gets, and he talks to buttercup but acts like he just needs help finding stuff bc he's shy, and books magically appearing on buttercup's desk 🤭

they're the same books she's reading but they're all annotated, like cute passages are highlighted and thoughts are scribbled in the margins

AND THEN new books that buttercup isn't even reading start showing up with little sticky notes like "____ reminds me of you" etc.

and buttercup's like "who is this sweet and thoughtful person" and starts falling in love with his thoughts and feelings on the books bc Bob's in his secret admirer era

idk just very blushy cute cowboy who reads books

some other aus I have that are also almost fully thought out (because I need help) tattoo artist/biker!Bradley and mafia!Jake

and idk maybe it's because all I really know of church is what my friends told me growing up but "youth pastor" is like the most uncool job to me 💀 but who knows maybe Lewis Pullman will sexify the occupation 🤷🏻‍♀️

and don't apologize, I missed you too!!! my day was pretty good, I took another very fat nap so I'm truly becoming nocturnal but it was a nice nap so I'm not complaining. how have you been today?

#🧚‍♀️ anon #what’s up doc

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mitsulite · 3 months

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Actually sick to my stomach looking back…

Ever heard of limerance? Well that’s what I was suffering from last year when I met A. Ugh. I could actually throw up after reading those posts. I felt so strongly and passionately immediately. Because I am an obsessive person who very most likely has bpd, and I latch on fast. We had a whirlwind romance, A and I. He told me he loved me 3 days in. I did not want to say it back but he kept saying it and almost pressuring me to say it back. I said it back to him during sex, and fuck I regret that. This man thought, and still does actually, that I’m his soulmate. He became so committed to me. Which at the time was intoxicating. I had never had someone dote on me and obsess over me the way he did, and I’m toxic and became addicted. As the time passed, and by time I mean a couple weeks!!! He was pressuring me about leaving my 8 year relationship. To be frank, I was looking for an affair, a distraction before I decided if I really wanted to leave. It’s not right and I’m not proud of it. But that’s just the truth. He didn’t want to just be a fling. He was talking about marrying me immediately, about me leaving my gf and my DOG of all things to move with him to his home state. Mind you I absolutely love where I live. And I love my dog more than anything in this world. So neither of those things was gonna happen. But he never stopped. He would casually mention in conversation “when you leave her” like bro what? Let me decide? He was constantly asking for a timeline of when we would move in together. He wanted to by March-may, which would barely even be 6 months of knowing each other. I didn’t even save my ex’s number in my phone til we were together like 2 years.

So after 2 months of this, come December I found myself counting down the days til he went back to his home state indefinitely. In my heart I knew I wanted to end it, but I didn’t have the courage to. Used to being a doormat in relationships. When he did leave, our last night together was very emotional. I didn’t cry in front of him but I definitely cried. But I think I was both sad and also very relieved. He called me every day, which was ok but to be honest, talking on the phone gives me a lot of anxiety and I didn’t really enjoy it. He would want to call me like 3 times a day. Not respecting that I would be with my gf inevitably some of those times. The last straw for me…I had gone out for the night with my gf. I was trying to work it out with her. Apparently I had buttdialed him, I remember looking down to see I was calling him and ending the call immediately. Well he calls me back right away and I deny the call. He keeps calling and then texting asking what was going on and that if I didn’t answer he was going to be upset because he was worried. Like wtf? I remember stepping out to walk the dog so I could call him and I could immediately feel I got the ick as soon as I heard his voice. After that night, he kept apologizing and saying it was ok that we fought. But we didn’t even fight. I was super unfazed by it all. And then immediately emotionally detached myself. This was leading up to my birthday at the end of the year.

Sometime after my birthday, he asked me about the disconnect, that he felt it since my birthday. And I used that as an opportunity to end it. However he completely read between the lines and only took in what he wanted, which was not that we had broken up. He continued to think we were together and it pissed me off that I was being ignored so I ghosted him!!!!

So I completely ignored him from January to probably about June, July or august. The summer. Summer was tough. I met someone through work that I developed a fat crush on. It was how much we genuinely had in common that got me. After meeting this guy, I realized I no longer wanted to continue my current relationship. It was no longer serving me and never would. I attempted to break it off all summer but once again, my wants, needs and desires were ignored. Nothing came of me and my coworker. He went back to his store and that ship sailed. But now I was checked out of my home life, and lonely as ever. Truthfully missing the sex I had with A, but never missing him, LOL. I was thinking with my figurative dick when I started posting on Reddit looking for random hookups, well a long term FWB was the plan. I find a post from a guy describing himself as generally attractive and covered in tattoos. Me, horny as ever and very into tattooed guys, message him. A couple days later he sends me his number and I text him. This was a couple days into September. I send him a picture of me and he is shocked that I am “hot”. You know how it goes on Reddit. I find him pretty cute himself. We weren’t talking too sexually but basically give a quick rundown of what we’re into and agree to meet a few days later, literally to hook up lol. The day comes and I’m nervous as hell but excited. Mind you we were texting everyday. He never stops telling me how beautiful I am. I’m literally shaking on the way to meet him and he texts me that he’s really nervous and I immediately say it’s ok we can meet another day. I was so relieved. And saw that as the biggest green flag. So I go home, and we text all night. We reschedule to meet the next week I believe. I was so nervous driving to the Starbucks we met at that I had to have a laugh attack before getting out the car. I walked up to the car and I could see immediately he was so cute. I get in and he says hi, and right away tells me I have a gorgeous smile and that I was so beautiful. You already know my ass can’t stop smiling and laughing. We just talked for like an hour. We held hands just a little. He kept telling me I was really funny. We didn’t hook up. He didn’t even touch me, aside from my hands. When he takes me back to my car, I say fuck it and I lean into him and kiss him quickly. He was shocked but kissed me back, then hugged me awkwardly. He says he’s so glad he got to meet me and we agree we want to see each other again. I say bye and get into my car. But then the butterflies hit and I’m like what the fuck? I know I said I had never felt anything like I did with A, and I hadn’t. But this was even more different. We hit it off, but it was once I was alone that I felt like I had been hit by a truck. It was this positively looming feeling that my life was going to change. I grabbed my phone and just texted him “fuck” because that’s all I could think. He replied “I know” and I just felt it happening. I was going to fall in love with him. He tells me right then that he likes me and I told him I think I liked him too. Well, we talked every single day after that. Every morning a good morning beautiful text. I don’t even know what we would talk about, it was just constant. I go to see him one day on his lunch break. He put his hand on my thigh and I fucking melted into him. He didn’t even touch me any sexual way, just touched my thigh. We kiss a lot obviously. Talk a lot. I told him about my situation and he was cool. We related to each other on a lot of issues. It was almost like we were too similar especially regarding our toxic traits. I had been there before with M, my first love many years ago. There’s a lot about him that reminds me of M. When I leave his car he reaches over and squeezes my ass and if it’s one thing that drives me crazy…it’s that!!!

It had to have been later that night, or a few nights later. We’re talking sexually and he mentions wanting me to have his baby. I’m like ok don’t play with me I really want to be a mommy. And he says he’s dead serious. That he’s incredibly drawn to me and can’t explain it. That he would love to have our fun and then start a family eventually. Like what?! That was it. That was the fucking moment I was done for. My libra moon said you wanna what?!?! And was 100000% onboard. I warn him that I fall in love fast and if he wasn’t careful I’d fall in love with him soon. He says good and that he wants me to fall in love with him. Well spoiler alert, I do.

Except it goes like this. Our constant talking one day just kinda slows down. I’m already 75% in love so I’m attached and panicking. Becoming depressed on days I don’t hear from him. It’s early December and I am just besides myself as he ignores me. For whatever reason he texts me late that night, asks how I am. I am honest and tell him im having a rollercoaster of emotions and fear I might have bpd. Well, turns out he fucking has it. Says he definitely thinks I am probably bipolar and not bpd. His reasoning? I haven’t went off on him. I tell him I worked on myself for YEARS to not do that. Because the old me would have blown up on him at least several times by then. Probably the first time I felt ignored. We talk all night. Im telling him I don’t care about whatever his issues are, I want to be there with him and for him. That im falling in love and it sucks because that person doesn’t want to let me in. We talk more and more, he’s apologizing saying he will make more effort to be vulnerable and let me in. I get it it’s hard. We’re ending the conversation and bitch…he tells me he loves me. HE says it to ME. I thought I would be first. Then I realize it’s 3 months to the day that we first “met”.

Im genuinely in love. We’ve been talking or ~together almost 5 months now and have never fought. He is really amazing about curving my rage fits. He never allows me to instigate a fight and he never fucking has. He is so calm with me and it’s actually mind blowing. I’ve never gotten that from anyone in my life. When I get upset with him, he listens, acknowledges why im upset, apologizes and promises to work on whatever the issue is. Since we both likely have bpd, it’s always a bit of a struggle but at the same time it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t get to see him as often as I want, but im grateful for taking it slow. Such a vast difference from A. I want to marry J and have his babies. I want to make him home and take care of him every day for the rest of our lives. We both feel so strongly that we would be such a good team. Life gets in the way… but im patient. I know I deserve him. Idk if he knows he deserves me but I hope he does. This is how I wanted it to happen. He gave me the courage to leave my relationship finally. He gave me a reason to want to move on. And guess what? We haven’t even had sex yet. That’s the best (and worst?) part. I can’t imagine what im going to feel the moment we finally do. I would marry him tomorrow if he asked me. I would move across the world if he asked me to. I’d go with him anywhere. I feel like he’s the love of my life to be honest. The stars aligned, finally for me.

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humansun · 9 months

Text

taylor swift in one week

Written Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023 at 8:07AM

It’s hot. I’m sweaty and I just got out the shower.

What am I thinking about? I find it intimidating for myself when I’m not doing as well as I wish I could be, but I can only do my best in the circumstances I’m in.

My grandma still gets on my nerves but less so. My relationship with my mom is a lot better. I’m still trying to figure out my way.

Good things: I submitted my AWC application, I have plenty to work on this month, and I have a new book to dig my nose into for the next week.

The reason why things feel particularly hectic this morning is because I’ve been procrastinating on my actual work work, so after writing this, I’ll jump right into it!

I haven’t gotten the time to meditate or really catch my breath after everything that’s been happening. Hopefully, when things wind down significantly, I’ll be able to do that and it will be relaxing. I’m going to be okay!

Written 11:29PM

Hi, I accidentally and then intentionally had way too much caffeine today, so that’s why I’m up and why I most likely will not attend tomorrow’s gym session.

Instead of putting myself down about it, which old Betty would do, I am now accepting my circumstances and understanding that part of my routine is to be out of my routine. This is not my quote, but shoutout to the quote’s owner, a podcast host for one of the random episodes I picked out a few months ago.

What’s going on? Well a lot. Instead of me screaming at the top of my lungs while playing Mario Party with buds, today I couldn’t sleep for 30+ minutes, so I’m up jotting all my thoughts down and reading the book I checked out yesterday.

Today was a special day, for all the mundane reasons. I did my productive morning, tried my best to keep it neutral while my emotions were going bezerk over my grandma’s commentary throughout the day, took myself on a mini-retreat to an underground-vibe park, and meditated! I also fell asleep while reading at the park.

I spent a fair share of my morning thinking about how I didn’t meet my calorie needs yesterday and that left me feeling uneasy. But! The best part about taking the time to reflect is resolving the issue eventually. I realized that everyone has a couple off days when they’re transitioning into a new routine and process, and it’s natural for things to not go 100% as planned. Even when things are super solid, it’s natural for things to go awry on some days. That is life.

While meeting up with a coworker, I have come to realize how comfortable and stable I feel in being in my mid-20’s. I’ve reached a point of acceptance and contentment, which I honestly didn’t expect. It’s almost like life happens before you realize it, but when you realize it, you learn that you are okay with the process.

I’m confident that as I continue to age, I will reach these conclusions and find joy in the small moments and ease in the temporary lows. Being 25 has been an adventure that I had not planned, but I’m certainly happy and proud of the place I am currently in. I didn’t realize that I would make this much progress creatively over the past year.

I especially would not have thought that I would complete two short films, even if they were super scrappy. I learned while making them, enjoyed the process, and spent time with some of the best people in my life. There will never be regrets in this experience.

I want to also recognize that maybe in this moment, I feel secure and happy. There’s a chance that this could change tomorrow when I wake up, and I’ll feel lost, crummy, and uncertain about the future. But this is what life is. It’s the ups and downs that we’ll get as we’re hit with unexpected life events, fluctuating emotions, and the different types of responsibilities we’ll be dealt in all our roles in life.

There is nothing easy about existing, but trying is a huge feat. Learning is rewarding. Growing will always be exciting. There are not many days now that I feel certain, excited, and secure in my path, but today in particular, I do. Today I feel like everything makes more sense, even if its not exactly what I imagine it to be. I feel today that I am worthy and that everything will fall into place, because there is proof historically that it has.

The promise that I make to myself today is to always do my best, and always strive for better. Not in terms of materialistic goals or money, but in terms of being a better me, appreciating my present, and growing internally. I have the potential to always grow, and I’m confident that I will continue to, with the effort that I put in each day.

Each day I can grow more patient. I can be more controlled. I will empathize and listen rather than think about my response and interrupt. I will be open-minded and celebratory of life when I can be. I will know that there is another tomorrow. I will appreciate each moment of my existence as best I can. In the mist of all the hardship and uncomfortable thoughts/feelings, I get to experience today’s joy. That is my win.

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kittyprincessofcats · 10 months

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Good and bad stuff going on my life that I need to make a post about

GOOD - the small things literally keeping me going:

- I’m so hyped for Nimona. Haven’t watched it yet because I wanna finish the comic first (and with everything going on I find it hard to sit down and read), and also because I wanna watch it with my sisters when I visit them next week - BUT STILL I’M SO HYPED. I’m so glad to hear it’s good and that everyone’s loving it! And AAAAHHH have you seen Nate’s new art??

- I finally found a DnD-group and we played a One-Shot together on sunday. It was super fun and I can’t wait to play something longer with these guys.

- I recently made my first ever custom FunkoPop (as a b-day present for my sister) and it was SO insanely fun. I’ll post pictures here soon because I’m super proud of it.

- I recently visited my sisters I’m excited to see them again soon.

- My friend’s wedding was nice.

BAD - just too much stuff:

- Have a colonscopy & gastroscopy appointment on friday and I’m nervous. I mean it’s good that this is finally happening, but I’m also annoyed that I had to *ask and insist* because the doctor was going to rush me out with a premature IBS-diagnosis instead. It was only when *I* asked “Don’t you have to check for inflammatory bowel disease before making that diagnosis?” that she admitted “Yes, technically you’d have to.” Well, then why aren’t you doing what you “technically” have to? Why did I have to ask you to do your job properly?

- Same doctor did an ultrasound of my stomach area - turns out I have gallstones. (Just why, universe? Didn’t I have enough problems?) She then casually started talking about gallbladder removals, like... I’m right here, don’t just drop stuff like that on me, how am I supposed to go back to work and not break down there now?

- Had to ask a collague (who is nice, but I don’t know her that well) to pick me up from the doctor’s and drive me home on friday because I live alone, don’t have friends here who have a car and she was the only person I could think of. (She agreed and was really nice about it, but still.)

- Just... in general, health stuff is so much harder when you’re also lonely and have no one phyiscally here to comfort and hug you.

- I called my dad after that doctor’s appointment despite currently being low-contact with him and not really wanting to talk to him, just because I don’t know shit about whether gallstones are super bad or not and this was an “I need a parent” situation... which I wish either didn’t happen or that I had some better parental figure to ask.

- Visiting my sisters is unfortunately also a package deal with visiting my parents. I booked a hotel last time instead of sleeping at home just to I could limit my time with them - it was the right call, but still felt like too much time with them. I felt completely drained at the end of the day.

- My shitty colleague from this post hasn’t talked to me since and now my boss randomly wants to assign me to different clients... almost as if she did ask not to work with me anymore after all. (But really, that’s a good thing, I was going to ask for the same thing.)

- The work’s council took 6 weeks to get back to me about this and because 2 of them are total a**holes, they’re now telling me I don’t have to right to refuse projects for Russia (not true, I did my research) - and they did so in an e-mail that didn’t even properly answer my questions and made me feel like they hadn’t gotten my actual problem and weren’t taking me seriously. Just pissed at them rn and don’t know what to do. If the works council isn’t on your side during a dispute with your boss, then who can help? I don’t fucking want to lift a single finger for shithole-country, what’s not clicking?

#personal #as in very personal #long post

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