#Being sick has turned me into a cinephile
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I joked that I was going to make a Lifetime movies rec list a while ago and Truly being bored at work has given birth to worse ideas, so this is one for my fellow cinephiles lol
My Highest Recommended Lifetime Movies in the Order in which they Changed my Life
Small Sacrifices (1989)
I'm honestly unclear whether this was intended originally to be a Lifetime movie because they showed it on a few different networks, but this was the first one that I ever remembered seeing and it Rocked my world. It's a true story about a woman named Diane Downs who attempted to murder her children and my mother and her friends lived for this film in a way that like is actually bonechilling. But I was spellbound by Farrah Fawcett in this movie, I thought she was the greatest actress I'd ever seen, and the story was really dark and scary and felt disgustingly salacious. So everything I'd come to like about Lifetime movies lol.
No One Would Tell (1996)
All my mom loved in the world was to wake up hungover on a Sunday and turn Lifetime on and proceed to fall asleep again while my tiny child peepers beheld Truly heinous shit. This one is one that I continue to make people watch because I can't be alone with the memories, but basically Candace Cameron is in a horribly abusive relationship with her boyfriend, Fred Savage, and he ends up murdering her and it is Incredibly sad and traumatic. There's a historic scene where she's taking a shower and her entire body is just littered with bruises and I will Never forget it!!!!!!!!! Very, very dark. But....iconic.
Odd Girl Out (2005)
This was the point in time where Uncle Television was very much concerned with telling young girls about bullying (for a different and just as good interp of this theme see ABC Family's Cyberbully starring Emily Osmont). But this one was the first and best to me, I related to it very much as an ostracized teen. It stars Alexa Vega, and she's a teen that has her whole popular friend group turn against her and she gets bullied bad lol It gets dark but only for like 20 minutes and then her redemption arc is nice. I loved this movie to death until I discovered Thirteen (2003), which is Way darker and had girls kissing in it for a few seconds.
Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleader Scandal (2008)
This movie was my identity. This movie was my child. Every time it was on TV I stopped whatever I was doing and watched it. I have no idea why, because I have been told people mainly find this one boring, but I think it's mostly due to the fact that I really do love movies where teenagers behave badly with impunity. This was a Ripped From the Headlines Lifetime movie about a roving band of cheerleaders that terrorize everyone in their wake at a Texas high school and basically get away with it because one of their mom's is the principal. I think it is a lol and a half, it's actually pretty competent, and there's like Good performances in it from actual actors. Highest rec possible.
Liz & Dick (2012)
Lindsay Lohan gets so unfairly maligned for her performance in this, it's sick. My most cherished memories of my last year of High School are watching this movie late at night and reading all of Lindsay's blind items and every article that was being written about her failed comeback. Again, I think she's actually okay in this, but for a lot of people it was insulting to cast Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor and to those people I say haters get thee behind me. It's fun, it's campy, it's not too long, everybody watch it and relax for a while.
Flowers in the Attic (2014)
DARK DARK DARK but also STUPID STUPID STUPID. Seriously this movie has no business being as funny as it is given the subject matter. Basically a bunch of kids are uprooted by the death of their father and their mother forces them to live in the attic of her wealthy parents home under false pretenses, and incest ensues. Which, again, sounds really upsetting but is actually pretty funny a lot of the time lol. Their evil god-fearing grandma is played by Ellen Burstyn and she's So over the top, and their mom is my queen Heather Graham who is actually pretty chilling. The other movies in the saga are Also pretty dark, stupid, and fun, but this one was a legit phenomenon. Me and my college roommate would host viewings of it in our dorm room, it's really fun to watch in a crowd of people that don't get darked out by poorly handled incest.
Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance (2018)
This is part one of a trilogy, but it's probably the best one even though the third is pretty fun. Honestly, you guys, this one is just Nice. Truly dgaf about the irl Harry and Meghan but this movie is actually a very fun love story, and it's sweet and has a few legitimately compelling twists and turns, and ultimately has a really satisfying ending. The actors playing Meghan and Harry are stellar, it's funny, it's cute, another highly recced film.
Who Killed Jonbenet? (2016)
An unhinged Eion Bailey performance for the ages with added child murder. Sarah and I are Definitely recording an episode about this one in the future, but truly it's almost too bleak to be chic and gets saved at the last minute by how inadvertently goofy it is. Eion's character develops a psycho-sexual (to me) fixation on an older detective who comes in and basically upends his investigation, and everything about it gives "but daddy please" and I love it and hate it at the same time.
Death of a Cheerleader (1994/2019)
Both versions of this movie are elite, the original is truly iconic and the remake is actually deluxe and makes some changes that I think make it an actually interesting movie. In Lifetime fashion it is Based On a True Story (fun fact: in my younger years I listened to My Favorite Murder and this story gets mentioned in one of their first episodes and they offhandedly mention that the murder weapon was like 8 inches long and That is a fact that has stuck with me in the middle of the night). I'd say watch them both, because the OG has a Tori Spelling performance that cannot be missed and is just a basic mean girls comeuppance story, but the redux is a lot more thoughtful and actually reflects some humanity on all characters which (if you haven't noticed) Lifetime isn't always great at lol.
Too Young to Be a Dad (2002)
UGH. Me and my girlfriend Just watched this and honestly that's a shame because I wish I'd had this movie my entire life. Paul Dano is a teenager that loses his virginity and impregnates his friend in one fell swoop and he has to Step Up and become a Man as like a fifteen year old, which sounds crazy and is but is legitimately a captivating movie. And Paul Dano is sooo fucking good in, it's not even a joke, watch it for his performance alone. I laughed, I cried, a perfect film (even though they never address abortion as a viable option lol Lifetime can only go so far ig).
This was Purely just for me but if you read this and watch these movies please lmk what you thought ~
#maybe the lifetime movie club will sponsor the podcast how chic would that be#honestly All these men should be in more lifetime movies#i don't like hallmark movies they're sexless and care too much about the lord#people fuck on Lifetime ok#they smoke and drink and push each other off roofs and frame each other for insider trading#i mean...Television for Women lol
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You know the video game Fatal Frame? Did you know that there is a movie based on the game? The movie is called Gekijoban Rei Zero or in English, it is just called Fatal Frame. The movie was released in 2014. The movie takes place at an all girls catholic school. Suddenly, the girls start turning up dead after kissing a picture of a missing popular girl, Aya. Michi, the main character has to figure out what is going on. The movie is beautifully shot. The story is kind of lacking, but the characters were interesting. It wasn’t scary, but very atmospheric.
Did you know that the movie is also pretty gay? Like it is really gay. It just oozes with yuri. I would say that it falls into the category of the trope schoolgirl lesbians, but for the most part, it is pretty unapologetically gay.
**Minor spoiler**
This movie kind of reminds me of the atmospheric Korean horror film, The Silenced (2015) aesthetically. If you liked that you might like this. At least in this one, the girls don’t die in it and it’s a little less violent.
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#Being sick has turned me into a cinephile#Gekijoban Rei Zero#Fatal Frame#Lesbians#Japanese lesbians#I have watched so many movies and things#Haven't read anything#Japanese movie#lgbtq#yuri#minor spoilers
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Melancholia (2011): My experience with the melancholy.
Alternative title: What no “Melodrama” and “SOUR” (and “Offerings” by Typhoon) could do to a mf who needed it back in 2015.
It has been six years, six years ago, at exactly July 10th. 2015, a planet crashed into my life and destroyed everything, but luckily, I was be able to rebuilt my whole world from the ashes.
There has been a discussion of movies that got you into films in general. The movie that you love so much, it gets you into the medium as a whole. And how it affects you emotionally. I would like to talk about my story on how movies provided my recovery from the darkest time of my life. And I want to address my feelings regarding this movie, especially when reconciling with not-so-fun things in real life (both facts about me and this movie)
Most people assume it was either Jackie (2016), Synecdoche, New York (2008), or All That Jazz (1980) that saved me, got me into the medium, turned me into…...this. But not those. The story is more complicated than that.
And by that, I would like to preface this write-up by saying that I have planned to say this in a long time. I have already addressed it on my Instagram, but it was for my close friends list only. Now that it has been six years since it happened, I am ready to tell my story on how Melancholia, a giant planet destroying all life, saved me from my darkest time.
And a fair warning; This is VERY TMI, get outta here if you don’t want to see TMI stuff.
Before I go further, I want you to know that this is NOT a “My side of the story” thing. This is a writeup on how I feel in the aftermath and please do not go and assign who was the bad one and the good one. Thank you.
In 2015, I had a terrible break-up. In July 10th, 2015. I will not provide more details. But it happened.
The event did not come sudden, it happened in the middle of a party. I was invited by one of them to have a dinner together in a weeaboo restaurant that I loved. It was an anime-themed novelty restaurant. It had great food, nice atmosphere, and manga, with the speakers blaring anime theme songs, what’s not to like?
So I went with my best friend to meet all of them. But before the dinner even started, I already had a bad feeling that this dinner will suck. I wallowed in, trying so hard not to show negative emotions. Until my best friend escorted me into an empty space, where she tells me;
“Listen to me, we agreed that we don't want you to make any scenes tonight, no, we don't!"
(By the way, that's not the exact words from her, but she did say that to me before the others arrived. I reluctantly said yes.)
The party was fun, we had a lot of laughs…….for them, because I found it difficult to be happy, or even to enjoy the party. I tried my best to smile, but I ended up running away to the bathroom a few times. I even tried to puke because the food --- which I loved, since it wasn’t the first time I had dined in that place --- tasted like garbage that made me sick.
Nevertheless, the evening went on, until the inevitable happened. The worst that I expected happened, for reasons that's irrelevant to this story/write-up. Because no matter what, I fucked up, it was my fault. This is my consequence. I wished the world ends right this instant.
(Trigger Warnings: Suicide mentions, Possible Suicidal Ideation from this point on!)
It was over. I have to try being alone. It felt like my whole world had ended. And suicidal feelings would make me look like a coward, even though I thoroughly wished that I suddenly coughed up blood, so;
I wished for the world to just end. The end of the world is the only way I can be freed from my pain, I prayed to God many times to take my life, or to tell me when everything will be better. Yet, those two never came. I was forced to face the storm myself. With no help.
It fucked me up for the rest of 2015. In fact, I spent the tail end of 2015 sobbing and screaming everyday, unable to hold the tremendous amount of grief, and my gradual loss in pleasure from things I've previously enjoyed (sorry, Splatoon... it’s hard to like you again…) was worrying.
I refused to eat food unless it's my favorites, and even then, my favorite foods taste like ashes. I stopped believing in recovery, kindness, friendliness, and anything. I became a nihilistic pessimistic misanthrope. I overspent my money on anime merch as well.
My temper began to worsen, as I often expressed excessive amount of anger and tantrum, and the only way to let it out without harming others was by writing a really fucked up story full of violence……which in itself, still very concerning. Those were the days during July and August of 2015.
When the tears stopped, emptiness would fill my heart. Nothing brought me joy. It’s hard to feel, and I pulled myself away from people. Breakdowns were a normal occurrence during that period. I constantly looked for new interests, to distract myself from the pain, but none worked. To this day, I’m still unsure how I managed to go through all of that without wanting to pull out my hair or dropping everything in life.
In addition, making decisions felt more difficult, I chose my college major out of confusion. My scores flunked, my eyes were full of void and empty. I was melancholic.
Luckily, all storms do eventually end, as December 2015 was the time that I have waited, as I found my sister asking me to watch the Star Wars original trilogy with her. I reluctantly said yes, only to find myself engrossed to everything in it. Though, this is the story that you all know. Star Wars literally saved my life, and I gradually stopped crying. But that wasn’t it.
The real story starts here.
I joined Twitter in January 2016, just to see more Star Wars. There, I get to meet my mutuals, who are cinephiles. My days are gradually getting better. I was able to get back on my own two feet, and the light was finally visible, after so long. I gradually met other great people on twitter and exciting days would ensue in the timeline. The pain of the break-up was pulled from my heart,
But it did not help me to fully recover from the sadness, guilt, and emptiness that day has caused. How that storm would pass is a different story, a story only few knows. This is the story.
I started my college years in July of 2016, exactly a year after “Melancholia” crashed into my life. It started better than I thought. I made friends quickly, enjoyed myself in a new, unfamiliar space. It was much busier, but I feel better in this space. Still, the fear of 2015 repeating itself persists, even though the people of this new space are good people.
What if I have to re-experience the destruction of my world, again?, I asked. And in the middle of the question, a relieving answer to the way out of my pain reveals itself.
Before college started, I found Letterboxd. I was happy that I can finally become one with the cinephiles, and I began to consume more movies. I began to spend my time in Letterboxd, finding what movies I should watch, reading funny one-liners, and looking at recommendations for what people call, the “arthouse” movies.
And in the middle of November of 2016, during my journey finding the “arthouse”, I stumbled upon Melancholia, thanks to the enticing poster. I thought the poster was beautiful, and was an indication that it won’t have stuff like Antichrist (2008) (i will never watch Antichrist, by the way. Say no to self-mutilation!)
Seeing that it is in English, with “geek/nerd-friendly cast”, despite the film’s country of origin.
A Good start, I thought.
So, out of curiosity, I looked it up on Wikipedia, and the plot summary withered me in shock. It was too real for me.
This is how that day went, this is how I felt, everything felt like that. Melancholia.
And with that, I decided to give it a watch, despite the storm of the pain still looms in. It has been one year, and I was ready to face the storm, to calm it, to turn it into a rainbow, if possible. I am finally addressing what happened back then, and is ready to get out of it.
Melancholia centers around Justine getting married, which is supposed to be her happiest day in her life. But when she finally arrived at the Celebration…….she couldn’t bring herself to be happy, at the sight of people who love (Michael, Claire, and Leo), dislike (Wedding Planner, her boss Jack, and to a minor extent, Claire’s husband John), gives zero shit (Justine’s Dad – I don’t know his name), and outright hate her (Gaby).
It sounded familiar…..but it gets worse than that, real quick.
This, coupled with the sight of her uselessly cringe and unfunny dad and her mean-spirited mom showing how they clearly hate each other and don’t care (don’t really care, in her dad’s case) about Justine getting married, plus her overbearing boss STILL pushing her for a work-related bullshit on her WEDDING day, quickly worsen her mood, in a time where NOBODY wants to see her in a negative state, no less.
Everything made it hard for Justine to enjoy her happiest day. She’s trapped in the castle. And eventually her depression, which she tried so hard to hide, would leak into the party, and would ruin the whole night, her job, and her family.
And this rang true to that day. A fun dinner, where people I loved and cherished are all there, in a place that I liked being in, food that I enjoyed…..basically, what should have been one of the happiest days of my life, all fell apart from what’s really inside it. I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it, while everyone tells me that I should be enjoying the dinner no matter what, and no one wanted to see me in a sour mood.
And yes, my sour mood, complete with my unfiltered sadness doesn’t just annoy everyone……it destroyed the whole evening. My selfish breakdown ruined what was supposed to be a fun evening.
Justine tried to look like she’s enjoying it, hiding her melancholy, although cracks were shown……like, pissing in the golf course, as a possible metaphor of pissing everything in her life. She does eventually enjoy herself during the other events like dancing and cake-cutting, but not for long, as she escapes for a bit to drown her sorrows in the tub for so long, unhappy. And when everything just became meaningless for her, she does the whole fake smile thing too, until Claire sees through it, and accuses her of lying.
”You’re lying to all of us!”
Back to the dinner, I tried to look like I enjoyed myself too. I tried to laugh, joke, and talk about fun stuff. But it was clear that nothing worked. So I took regular bathroom escapes, doing nothing in particular. I felt nothing, because if no one can enjoy my presence, everything becomes meaningless.
I couldn’t follow their joy, their smiles, and whatnot. And my best friend (my ‘Claire’) eventually sees that I lied to everyone. In a situation where I am expected to feel the same thing they do, which was impossible for me, knowing that they don’t want me to emote and yet, demanding me to be happy. It made no sense.
And it was natural for me that the only emotion I can feel is gloom. Because being happy does not make sense, and the grief instantly glooms. Everyone could see through the lies I put up.
”I tried, Claire…”
Just as Justine’s wedding ends up with her leaving from her OWN life, and people leaving her…..essentially destroying her world, that day ended up doing the same for me. Simply put, it’s like seeing through a looking-glass. What was supposed to be a happy celebration left Justine to ashes. Just as a cosmic menace looms. It would bring an end to Justine’s ordeal, as well as my ordeal.
Which brings us to Part 2 of the story, the imminent destruction of Earth, and the lowest point of Justine, as well as the end of her ordeal.
At the start of the second part, it was made clear that Justine looked worse and an even bigger mess than she was in the first part. It is implied that her marriage wasn’t doing well, in addition to her being jobless, as a result of her breakdown towards the asshole boss Jack in the first part. She has nothing that can keep her in company. All she had was her deep depression.
It rang true to me too. For the first few days, it was just me crying my eyes out. But then I grew more numb and emotional, but distant from everyone. I had ALMOST no friends, save from two very great people who kept me alive……though one of them IS my ‘Claire’.
(Cue a paragraph on how my darkest times would’ve been a lot more different if “Melodrama” by Lorde came out at that time)
Justine can’t move, can’t feel, and can’t be bothered with pesky emotions. This was the next step of my grief and depression. After all the tears, there was apathy and numbness.
What struck my heart was the bath scene and the dinner scene…….she couldn’t even enjoy things she loved. This terrified me because I felt exactly like that too. I hated eating, everything tasted like garbage to me. I could not find enjoyment in stuff I like, because it felt tainted from the breakup. Everything looks like filth and garbage to me. Even everyone feels fake. Justine feels this, and the only real thing to her was what came next --- Melancholia.
So, we finally get to see Melancholia itself. Just as Justine begins to completely lose her pleasure. At that point, she can’t even feel joy from horse-riding (poor Abraham…). But at the same time, she found an outlet she can run to, for easing her pain. The Blue Moon became her only ‘friend’.
Really, when you are in your worst, the only solace you’ll find is bad things. I wanted horrifying things to happen. I wanted the world to instantly end. To me, nothing good comes out of life.
The Earth is evil. That was on my mind.
As soon as it was made clear that Melancholia’s here to destroy everything, Claire gets into a panic and wants everything to pass. Now Justine is calm. While I never felt like that (well, back in 2015-16 there was no “earth dying” threats for me to get happy from!), it does mirror my imaginations of that time. I would’ve welcomed an instant destruction of life, because I had nothing left at that time. It is terrifying in hindsight, but it shows on how these conditions can completely affect a person. I was lucky I had a ‘Claire’ at the time, but that wasn’t enough. I needed help.
I wasn’t able to get support because of all the stigma surrounding mental health. I wasn’t able to talk to anyone. I was alone
We need help, we need support. Because we deserve to live happily and wonderfully with everyone, we deserve to feel, taste, and smile. Depression and grief can change a person completely without them wanting it.
I never wanted to feel like Justine back then, but I was at my lowest that it was the only thing i can do. I had zero support, and my own thoughts are all there is. Even back then, I felt that I do not deserve a nice life.
What should I do? How should I feel? When the Earth is this evil?
But I know that Earth isn’t evil. And so does Claire, who knows that this storm is not real. But evidently, it wasn’t. It was total destruction. You either accept, or reject by leaving the Earth.
But in the end, storms pass.
And then Melancholia came. Everything faded to black. No one is spared. That is not a happy ending.
But at the same time, an enormous weight has been lifted. To me, it’s a sign to accept, and continue to live on. I felt much lighter, and it was a big step to my recovery from that day. My plight was a parasitic astronomical waste, and Melancholia crashed into it. This movie rejuvenated me.
While I do know of Lars von Trier being a detestable garbage human being (even before I decided to see this, I already read the shitty things he’s known for) that I hate and am glad that he’s not making movies anymore (Yes, Lars, The House That Jack Built (2019) should definitely be your last film), Melancholia made me realize how portrayals of plight can help me face my own plight. And to not make me feel alone.
People may not agree on the portrayal of depression, and that is valid. Absolutely valid. But to me, everything felt real to what happened to me. From the symptoms and negative effects to Justine’s condition to the people around her was really true to my situation. I hate to say this but Melancholia predicted my 2015 conditions in 2011, and again, it felt like looking through a glass.
But that ‘looking glass’ proved to be helping for me. Seeing a fiction about your condition makes you feel less alone. It made me feel seen.
Even the actors nailed everything. Charlotte Gainsbourg, as I have mentioned before, made my friend realized how terrible everything was to both of us as she (my friend) watched Gainsbourg painstakingly try to stop everything that has spiraled out of her control to plan so she can ensure that the artificial happiness could go well because it is a ritual.
She felt it. And she actually apologized to me for “being exactly like Charlotte’s character” when we saw this movie together!
Some of them (with 2-3 exceptions) on that day acted like Stellan Skarsgard and Kiefer Sutherland, in that I was a disposable business for them, an important business to handle and as soon as I wrecked their business thanks to my emotions, everything fell apart.
While I haven’t gotten the full closure on that day (I will probably never get one, and it’s okay. I don’t think i need one at this point), I feel that what’s important to me is how this supposedly eternal pain that ate me throughout 2015 has been lifted. Yes, there are relapses (at the time of writing in June 2021, I am having relapses about these memories again, but the pain is much, much less painful than in 2015), and I had no professional support nor medications, but this shows how films can be the only thing that comforts you when there’s nothing. I always come back to Melancholia (and Synecdoche, New York (2008)) when I feel terrible, to give me comfort that I am not alone.
Films are not reality, but they are paintings based on reality. And what ‘reality’ it paints is important. My reality of that darkest time was painted clearly. And it helped me to see my reality further.
(However, yes, PLEASE get support if you are having the same issues as mine. Nothing can replace professional help, therapy, and support! Unfortunately, I can’t post resources….as I don’t have support myself)
Melancholia did not cure my condition, but it did brought me out from my darkest place. And since that day, I’ve been ‘escaping’ to sadder and depressing movies as an escape from terrible times. I even made a list of what to watch when I feel bad.
Because when I see suffering in fiction, I feel that I am not alone, and it will eventually pass. Nothing lasts forever.
And my blight did not last forever. I was able to live a ‘new’ life in college and graduating….before my life got taken away again by, well, ‘rona, but that’s a different story.
But in the meantime, we have films. No matter how terrible our lives are, films provides an escape for us, no matter the emotions we have. The Earth isn’t evil, and when it does become evil, there’s a form of escape through films.
I really can’t provide more quotes because it’s hard. So I will end it here. Thank you for reading my thoughts and feelings. But don’t worry about me, I just wanted to get this all out from my system.
Thank you, and may we finally be freed from the Storm of Melancholy, and live in peace with it.
(Music I listened to while writing: “Shelter” by Porter Robinson, “Sober” by Lorde, “brutal” by Olivia Rodrigo, “Angie” by The Rolling Stones, “Sleep” by Typhoon)
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Movie Night - Bughead!College AU
Summary:
Betty is sick of the substandard movies that are chosen to play at the makeshift college ‘drive in’ she decides she has had enough and on her mission to correct this injustice bumps into a beanie wearing student who is just as outraged.
Based on the following prompt:
You’re the only other one who voted for my favorite movie on movie night so do you just want to watch it in my room au
Author’s Note: I have been dying to do a college AU with these two and I came across this prompt and I couldn’t resist. This will basically just be a cute little two parter full of fluff. This is part one. Also I apologise to lovers of the film Twilight, it’s not my thing so it’s the movie I chose. The Lobster however is one of my favourite films and if you haven’t seen it I would highly recommend it (although I do feel like it needs a trigger warning for a certain scene). I was going to go with the classic Bughead film, Rebel Without a Cause but I have never seen it and would find it hard to have the two of them discussing it without seeing it myself.
As always sorry mobile users for the ‘Keep Reading’ cut.
Part One: The ‘Drive In’ Dilemma
“You have to be kidding me. Again! Everytime.” Betty threw the flyer that had been posted under her door in the wastepaper basket under her desk. Her roommate Veronica looked at her as if she had lost her mind, which wasn’t exactly a look she was unfamiliar with receiving.
Betty had braced herself for a year of pain when she first saw her roommate Veronica Lodge walk into their college dorm room with her pearls around her neck, designer dress and Louis Voitton suitcase. Not to mention the man who had arrived with her carrying another set of perfectly matched suitcases. He wore white gloves and was dressed in a uniform. The girl had servants for Christs Sake. But Betty being Betty had smiled politely and offered her first choice of the beds.
Veronica had not turned out to be anything like Betty had imagined. She was not stuck up, well she was, but not in an unkind way. She had been raised in privilege which had shaped her personality in some ways but she was still a good person, a kind person and the two of them had become fast friends.
“What did the piece of paper do to you?” Veronica asked as Betty only humphed in response sitting on her bed cross legged as Veronica continued to lay on her bed flipping through her magazine.
“The college drive in.” Betty spat out after she had tried to hold it in. She remembered her elation when she had first heard about the makeshift drive in that the student residences put on every month. Her older sister Polly had told her all about it t Betty’s eager ears. An old style projector, onto the side of the student hall, picnic blankets and cocktails in summer and everyone snuggled and cuddled together in warm blankets and hot toddies in winter. The idea of it had captured the imagination of the cinephile in her and she had bounded happily to her dorm room to let Veronica know. That was until she had received the slip of paper under their door the first time. You see they let the student population choose. And in Betty’s opinion they had no taste whatsoever.
“Who chooses Twilight?” She exclaimed throwing her hands in the air. “Twilight?” she repeated her face screwed up as she said the words.
“I chose Twilight.” Veronica admitted, casually looking up at Betty to see the plain horror on her face before returning to her magazine.
“It’s like I don’t even know you sometimes.” Betty said dramatically shaking her head.
“Come on Betty.” Veronica sat up on her bed, closing her magazine. “It’s not even about the movie. It’s about snuggling up to some college hottie with a multitude of blankets while sipping on mulled wine.”
“Maybe for you Veronica. But I take my cinema experience very seriously.” She glanced at the crumpled up piece of paper in her wastebasket and could feel her anger and frustration bubbling up again. She hopped up of her bed and stalked over to the basket pulling out the leaflet before smoothing it out. Veronica watched her cautiously.
“What are you doing B?” A hint of trepidation in her voice.
“I’m going to complain.” Betty announced as she started putting on her flats. She looked at herself briefly in her wardrobe mirror before smoothing down her sweater and pulling her ponytail that little bit tighter. She gave herself a reassuring nod before spinning around to face the door, Veronica who was still eyeing her as if she had lost it. “I’m taking this to the RA and demanding that they put something of quality on that screen.” Veronica sighed as she picked up her magazine again.
“Well let me know how it all goes.” She said as she started to look through her magazine again.
“Oh I will.” Betty said determinedly as she left the room slamming the door behind her. Veronica rolled her eyes as she left. She pitied the poor person who was about to encounter Betty’s wrath.
Betty stalked the hallway leading up to the RA’s residence. Her feet hitting the ground beneath her hard, her ponytail swinging side to side, her jaw set in determination. She could hear as she was approaching that the RA was not alone. She cursed under her breath as she waited outside the doorway as she tried to take deep breaths so she wouldn’t go barging in there. She didn’t have to wait too long until the door swung open and another student, male, was standing in the doorway. He was tall, taller than her and wore a woollen beanie on his head, which wasn’t unusual for the weather this time of year. It did seem to be shaped like a crown though which was somewhat more noteworthy.
“This is bullshit,” he shouted behind him before he turned to leave almost knocking into Betty on the way out. “Sorry,” he mumbled under his breath before he continued past her. An older red headed boy stuck his head out from the door, to catch sight of Betty, his features softening as he saw her. That was until he saw what she was clutching in her hand his eyes widening. Betty regained her composure before straightening herself and looking their RA, Jason Blossom in the eyes.
“I’m here to make a formal complaint about the drive in movie selection,” she announced.
“Oh God, another one.” Jason dragged his hand over his face. “Look,” he sighed. “I’ll tell you what I told Jughead. We live in a democracy, we put what movie is shown out to a vote by the students. Everyone votes and we show that movie.”
“But surely the movies that are shown in college should have some substance, some meaning to them. We are in a place of learning.” Betty argued.
“Listen….,” he paused realising that he hadn’t caught her name.
“Betty,” she supplied. “Betty Cooper.”
“Right, Betty. Yes we are in a place of learning but that usually means people want to have fun when they’re not learning. The drive in provides that.”
“But what about the sacredness of the cinematic experience.” Jason sighed again as he felt he was reliving the same argument he had just had with Jughead all over again.
“Did Jughead put you up to this?” He was getting frustrated now, he had had this argument with Jughead every time his suggested movie was not picked by the student population, it seemed he was now recruiting fellow students to make his life hell.
“I don’t know a Jughead.” Betty would remember meeting someone called that. “Wait was that the guy who just left. With the crown beanie.”
“Yeah he also came to share his disapproval with me, despite the fact, and I’m going to say it once again because maybe then it will sink in. I have no control over what plays.” Betty took a deep breath and was about to launch into another argument when the RA’s door was shut in her face and the click of a lock was heard. Betty stood fuming outside the door, her fists balled tightly as she tried to take deep calming breaths. She thought about raising her fist and banging on the door until it opened but thought better of it. Jason wasn’t going to budge. He’d made that clear, and if this Jughead had been trying for months then she was hardly going to sway his decision.
She slumped her shoulders in defeat before she started to walk back to her dorm room her feet dragging along.
“So how did it go?” Veronica asked as Betty came through the door. Betty glared at her before laying down on her bed face first. “That well hey.” Veronica teased as she came to sit next to Betty on the bed. She rubbed her friend’s shoulder gently and Betty turned to face her.
“He said there’s nothing he can do. Democracy.” Betty spat out. Veronica squeezed her shoulder sympathetically before smiling brightly at her.
“You should still come B. We can make it a girl’s night.”
“I thought you were going with Archie.” Betty sighed moving herself upright sitting up with her legs dangling over the side of her bed.
“I can tell him I need to spend some quality time cheering up my girl.” Veronica nudged her playfully and Betty couldn’t help the smile that was forming on her face. She felt so lucky to have found a friend like Veronica.
But then she remembered how happy and excited Veronica had been when she had burst through their door exclaiming that Archie had invited her to the drive in. They had gossiped all night that night. Veronica swooning over her new found love and Betty was happy for her although also wishing that she had someone of her own who could make her feel like that.
“No it’s okay.” Veronica’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “ Really I’ll be fine.”
“You could come with us?” Veronica suggested. Betty balked at the suggestion.
“No, I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
“Please if anything Archie would be the third wheel.” Betty laughed and Veronica smiled proudly happy to see the smile return to Betty’s face.
“I’ll just watch my movie here. Sure my laptop and bed are no substitute for the drive in but I can make it work.”
“Okay. If you are sure.” Betty nodded. “Well can you help me choose something to wear for tomorrow night then?”
“Of course.”
Betty decided after trying to concentrate on her notes for a good half hour without being able to focus that she would take a walk around the campus. Veronica had gone to cheer practice, after they had picked out her dress, leaving Betty alone in their room. She walked down the path pulling her coat tighter around herself to protect herself from the cold biting wind. She thought about what Veronica had said about having someone to snuggle with. Betty hadn’t dated much. She had had one boyfriend in high school which had never really progressed further than some awkward kisses and hand holding. Betty was always so focussed on her future that sometimes she forgot to be in the present.
Veronica always encouraged her at the parties they attended together. Trying to get her to participate in the games they played but Betty felt she had transcended the game of Spin the Bottle since attending college. Veronica said she was just being a spoil sport. Veronica would try to get Betty to talk to boys, or boys to talk to Betty, but she found she couldn’t connect with them and they couldn’t with her. Although she didn’t actively pursue a love life it didn’t mean she didn’t yearn for one. She couldn’t deny that little pang of jealousy she felt when Veronica announced that Archie had invited her to a date at the drive in, not because she was interested in Archie or Veronica for that matter but she was jealous that they had been able to find a connection in each other.
It was while she wandered the grounds not quite sure of her destination that she saw the boy from earlier. Jughead Jason had called him. A strange name sure to have some deep and poignant meaning behind it. She hesitated whether she should approach him. To him she was a stranger coming up and chatting with him wouldn’t that seem odd, what if he thought she was a crazy stalker or something but she rationalised that people struck up conversations with each other everyday. She was good at talking to people, why couldn’t she talk to him especially if he was as passionate about film as she was.
She quickly pulled her ponytail a little tighter as she approached the table that he was sitting at hunched over the keyboard of his laptop and takeaway coffee cup to the side of it. She hovered near him, waiting for him to look up at her presence but he seemed too engrossed in his work to notice her.
“Hey Jug-Head?” She said softly the name sounding foreign on her tongue as she spoke it. He looked up at her hearing his name, and his eyes moved over her carefully before realisation seemed to strike.
“Hey, oh, you were outside Jason’s room today.” His face softening as he recognised her from their very brief encounter earlier that day.
“Yeah, you almost took me out. I'm Betty by the way. ” She joked as she nodded towards the spare seat next to him and he moved over with his laptop providing her more space so that she could sit.
“Sorry about that I was pretty pissed off.” His eyes flicking back towards his laptop before he minimised the document he had been working on.
“About the drive in.”
“Yeah, how did you know.” He eyed her curiously.
“Jason told me. I was kind of there to complain about it too.”
“Twilight.” The disgust in his voice was clear. “I mean, if you are going to choose a vampire movie at least make it a good one.” There was an edge to his tone. He obviously was still unhappy with the decision much like Betty herself.
“I mean Nosferatu would be classic.” Betty answered.
“Exactly.” He said as he turned his body to face her. His laptop forgotten and his focus now directed at her. “I am glad there is at least one person on campus who shares my opinion.” There was a gleam in his eye and a smile spreading across his face that did funny things to Betty’s insides. “I am trying to suggest films that will make us think about things not just blindly absorb what we are shown. To question the narrative, the story, the character’s motivations. But my suggestions only ever seem to garner a few measly votes.”
“Well I think The Lobster would have been a much better choice,” Betty said encouragingly, her hand itching to touch his hand in comfort. The need to be someone’s comfort was overwhelming at times. “I saw it at the Bijou when it opened. On my own couldn’t convince anyone else to come with me.”
“Hey I work at the Bijou, although in the projection room so kind of out of sight.” She could imagine him in the projector room, it seemed right that he would be there, strange woolen cap, suspenders, those tight jeans, the light from the projector flickering across his face catching the angles of his cheekbones.
“You are so lucky,” she responded snapping herself out of her own thoughts. She would have loved to have worked part time or even casually at the Bijou but with her course load and other pressures she couldn’t commit the time. That and her parents had worked so hard so that she would have the time to solely focus on her course work and not be distracted by working. But the Bijou had still become a safe haven for her. But she couldn’t imagine sitting up there in that projection booth getting to see every movie, she was jealous.
“Yeah I guess I am.” He nodded, as he took a sip from his coffee cup.
“Well I think your choices are always inspired. I just wish one of them would win, just once.” She sighed wistfully. She wanted nothing more to go to the drive in and actually watch something that meant something to her. It wasn’t just about snuggling next to a cute boy for her, it was a far greater experience and besides she didn’t have a cute boy to snuggle up to. As she kept reminding Veronica.
“Well I think the track record shows that I do not have a popular opinion.” A self deprecating smile crossed his face.
“I was so looking forward to watching it again as well.” Betty bowed her head in disappointment.
“We could.” Betty looked up at him. Had he really just suggested? “I mean, I have a copy of the movie if you wanted to - ”
“I would really like that.” She agreed without considering further. She yearned to watch the film with someone who was as interested in the narrative as she was. Maybe it would be better than watching it on her own in her dorm room as she had already planned to do.
“Well, my roommate is attending the travesty that will be the drive in tomorrow night so if you wanted to come over to my room. Or I can bring the copy to your room if that would make you more comfortable.” He was playing with the sleeve of his shirt, not quite meeting her eyes as he spoke.
“I don’t mind going to yours. I can bring snacks,” she said cheerfully.
“Good, ah, my roommate is leaving pretty early for his date so anytime after 5.00pm would work.”
“Great it’s a date,” she clasped her hand over her mouth immediately as the words left her lips. “I mean it’s not a date, date, but like a calendar date. It’s a time, a meeting point.” She was rambling and she knew it desperately trying to grasp at words and dig herself out of her own embarrassment. The widening of his eyes had not gone unnoticed as she started to get up. She almost tripped over the seat as she made her legs move in the direction of her dorm before she started to blush and further embarrass herself.
“It’s 42C Jameson Wing.” Betty stopped for a moment to look at him confused. “My room,” he clarified.
“Great 42C.” she repeated back to him as she swung her bag over her shoulder and gave a quick wave as she walked away from the table the blush she was sure now fully across her cheeks. She was flustered, her stomach feeling like it was doing cartwheels and flips and all kinds of things a stomach should not be doing. He was cute, he had great taste in movies, and she was going to his room, just to two of them to watching a movie. She couldn’t wait to tell Veronica.
#bughead#bughead fanfiction#my work#college au#prompt fill#i love aus so so so much#i am addicted to them#betty cooper x jughead jones#betty cooper/jughead jones#will it turn into smut who knows?#fluffy goodness
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New from Every Movie Has a Lesson by Don Shanahan: COLUMN: My Top 100 Movies of the 2010s
As a guy who turned 40 this past year, the reality of 2020 sounds like the absolute future, like something out of science fiction. Alas, here we are. 2020 marks the 10th year of Every Movie Has a Lesson. Hundreds of thousands of pageviews and visitors later, what started as a harmless blog and an outlet to flex the creative muscles has turned into something far more connected and viable than I ever imagined.
Ten years ago, this was a hobby to fiddle with in my spare time. I never dreamed of being published in print as I am on Southland Voice or featured on websites with international reach like The Examiner and 25YL. Ten years ago, I would have told you reaching a press level of access to movies was a pipe dream. Here I am today card-carrying credentials from recognized awards-voting critics organizations, including one I helped found, and approval all the way to Rotten Tomatoes. The movies come to me instead of me going to the movies, and it’s a truly amazing and fulfilling blessing. I can’t wait to see what happens in a new decade for Every Movie Has a Lesson. Before we step further in the science fiction era of our times, allow me one more reflection step back.
In my review work, I tend to rate about a dozen five-star movies a year. Creating a “Best of the Decade” list from 2010-2019 means I have over 100 movies receiving my highest score to sort. Trimming or ordering them can be like choosing among your own children. The 100th movie could be a good as #1. I wanted this discerning and massive challenge.
To build a master list, I turned to the Pub Meeple Ranking Engine. I entered a list of just under 200 five-star and high four-star movies and let the hundreds of clickable “versus” matchup permutations slot everything. It’s really a slick tool, and it nailed my results. The cream of the rose to the top, just as they should. I’ve said this before on other lists, but this is more about “best” than “favorites.” Also, I did not include documentaries. Quality edges easy entertainment more often than not. Here are the results with a little commentary here and there in between. Links are posted and all slideshow posters are from IMDb. Enjoy!
MY TOP 100 MOVIES OF THE 2010s
THE 10 BEST:
1. Whiplash
2. Room
3. La La Land
4. Spotlight
5. Her
6. Inception
7. Toy Story 3
8. If Beale Street Could Talk
9. 1917
10. 12 Years a Slave
I knew going into this that it would become a battle between Whiplash and Room for the top spot. When I put those two against everything else, both casually in the Pub Meeple tool, their opponents never win. The fascinating thing for me became where #3-10 would fall and wondering if they would or would not match my annual year-end lists. Sure enough, five of those eight movies (La La Land, Inception, If Beale Street Could Talk, 1917, and 12 Years a Slave) were my #1 picks of their given year and the other three (Spotlight, Her, and Toy Story 3) were #2s. I’m not saying I’m a pillar of consistency, but I’ll pat my integrity on the back for those Top 10 winners. I have no problem personally putting If Beale Street Could Talk over Moonlight, even if Moonlight was the bigger winner and considered historically more important film. Toy Story 3 might be the only animated film in the entire Top 100. I’ll take all the recency bias you want to shovel with 1917. The movie is that damn good, and you’ll see two more 2019 films next.
THE NEXT TEN:
11. The Descendants
12. Brooklyn
13. Searching
14. The Way Way Back
15. Zero Dark Thirty
16. A Monster Calls
17. Jackie
18. Little Women
19. Marriage Story
20. Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World
I love the eclectic mix of these next ten! Two more year-end top picks (The Descendants and Zero Dark Thirty), three second-places (Searching, Jackie, and Little Women), and two super high third-placers (Brooklyn and The Way Way Back) shine here. Like with Barry Jenkins, I’m comfortable having Little Women over Lady Bird (#21) when it comes to Greta Gerwig. The surprise climbers from the ranking tool battles were A Monster Calls and Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World. By these measurements, the latter technically counts as my #1 comic book movie of the decade and I’m completely fine with that, Captain America: The Winter Soldier (#32), Logan (#44), Black Panther (#51), Joker (#56), The Avengers (#81), and Avengers: Infinity War (#100) be damned.
With Room and Spotlight above at #2 and #4 overall and Brooklyn here at #12, 2015 is showing to be my top year of the decade. You’ll find nine more 2015 titles below: Sicario (#30), The Martian (#33), The Big Short (#45), Star Wars: The Force Awakens (#65), Creed (#72), Far From the Madding Crowd (#82), The Revenant (#84), Inside Out (#88), and ‘71 (#94).
SEARCH MY BLOG FOR REVIEWS OF INTEREST
(because, damn, that’s a whole bunch of links to dig up under here…)
THE BEST OF THE REST:
21. Lady Bird
22. Moonlight
23. The Social Network
24. Skyfall
25. First Man
26. Wonderstruck
27. Life of Pi
28. Boyhood
29. Selma
30. Sicario
31. A Star is Born
32. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
33. The Martian
34. Gone Girl
35. Short Term 12
36. Flight
37. Silver Linings Playbook
38. Pete’s Dragon
39. The Grand Budapest Hotel
40. Luce
41. Paddington 2
42. Hearts Beat Loud
43. Roma
44. Logan
45. The Big Short
46. The Artist
47. Beautiful Boy
48. The Place Beyond the Pines
49. Phantom Thread
50. 50/50
51. Black Panther
52. War for the Planet of the Apes
53. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
54. Eighth Grade
55. The Farewell
56. Joker
57. Argo
58. Get Out
59. I, Tonya
60. Source Code
61. Parasite
62. Black Swan
63. The Peanut Butter Falcon
64. The Big Sick
65. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
66. Jojo Rabbit
67. Knives Out
68. The Light Between Oceans
69. Midnight in Paris
70. War Horse
71. American Sniper
72. Creed
73. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
74. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
75. Clara
76. Booksmart
77. Shame
78. The King’s Speech
79. Manchester By the Sea
80. Moonrise Kingdom
81. The Avengers
82. Far from the Madding Crowd
83. Before Midnight
84. The Revenant
85. Man of Steel
86. Lucky
87. The Florida Project
88. Inside Out
89. Nocturnal Animals
90. Gravity
91. I Kill Giants
92. The Wolf of Wall Street
93. Hugo
94. ’71
95. The Shape of Water
96. Loving Vincent
97. The Great Gatsby
98. Interstellar
99. A Quiet Place
100. Avengers: Infinity War
Go ahead. Take attendance after all that. Plenty of five-star reviewed films still fell off this list, (most notably Lincoln, Carol, The One I Love, Steve Jobs, Birdman, Southside With You, Coming Through the Rye, and Prometheus). The cinephile integrity questions will now start. I can feel it.
There’s not a single Quentin Tarantino or Terence Malick film in sight. The first and only Steven Spielberg movie finally lands at #70 and it’s not Lincoln, Bridge of Spies, orThe Post. Woody Allen (#69) and Clint Eastwood (#71) only appear once. Rip up my movie snob card if you must because it took until the nineties to finally have a Martin Scorese film (The Wolf of Wall Street and Hugo) and a second movie from Christopher Nolan (Interstellar). I’m clearly transitioning to become a new school guy with someone like Damien Chazelle having three films in the Top 25, including #1 and #3. I’m at peace with that. There’s room to love the present and the past.
If anything all of this should demonstrate how deep this decade was for quality. This is all me and to each their own. This is “MY” list, not “THE” list. I’m content to value what I value and grade how I grade. Let the life lessons reign. Pass me the sunglasses GIFs and celebratory drinks!
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New Post has been published on Cinephiled
New Post has been published on http://www.cinephiled.com/interview-lauren-greenfield-shines-riveting-spotlight-imelda-marcos-kingmaker/
Interview: Lauren Greenfield Shines a Riveting Spotlight on Imelda Marcos in ‘The Kingmaker’
Centered on the indomitable character of Imelda Marcos, The Kingmaker examines, with intimate access, the Marcos family’s improbably return to power in the Philippines. The film explores the disturbing legacy of the Marcos regime and chronicles Imelda’s present-day push to help her son, Bongbong, win the vice presidency. To this end, Imelda confidently rewrites her family’s history of corruption, replacing it with a narrative of a matriarch’s extravagant love for her country. In an age when “fake news” manipulates elections, the Marcos family’s comeback story serves as a dark fairy tale. I sat down with Lauren Greenfield (The Queen of Versailles, Generation Wealth) to talk about this fascinating documentary.
Danny Miller: Watching this fascinating doc, my overriding question was how the fuck did you get such intimate access to Imelda Marcos? It’s just unbelievable.
Lauren Greenfield: (Laughs.) It was kind of unbelievable. I came in, really, after reading an article about Animal Island, the wild animal park in the Philippines that is one of the legacies of the Marcos regime. I thought that might be the movie with these parallel stories about the survival of the animals, but in this kind of doomed atmosphere. So I went to shoot the animals and on that first trip I also interviewed Imelda. I got access to her through this journalist William Miller who had written about the island and talked to Imelda for his article. He’s the one who introduced me to her and he ended up collaborating with me on the movie. Before that, she had always been a kind of iconic reference in my work on wealth.
And then the Animal Island story just morphed into one about Imelda and her persistent political ambitions?
Yes. To me the Animal Island was kind of the ultimate extravagance and it involved living things and human rights and the idea that this island would be depopulated to bring in the animals from Africa on this kind of Noah’s Ark. I thought Imelda would be one voice among many. But it was while I was there, the Marcoses started to have a political comeback. When I started, the people I was working with said they didn’t think Imelda’s son, Bongbong Marcos, had a chance in hell in the upcoming election. At that time the Marcoses were in a political wilderness. They had some support in their previous strongholds, but Imelda was mostly perceived as a laughable figure.
By then she was already a Congresswoman?
Yes, and I was interested in how she managed to get that far again but I still thought it was more or less a figurehead position out of respect for a former First Lady. I also think that’s party why she agreed to talk to me, she was feeling a bit irrelevant in Philippine politics at that time.
I’m still surprised she agreed to participate, even when it was going to more about Animal Island which, as you know, became a kind of horror show. Did she feel that this film was going to be a flattering portrait?
Well, she believes her story and believes that she helped the Philippine people. We quickly moved past Animal Island in our conversations. She didn’t like the fact that most people just think about the shoes when they think of her. And frankly, after 1986, the world didn’t know much of anything else about her. I was interested in how she was able to return to the Philippines. And while I was there, Bongbong announced that he was running for the vice presidency which everyone laughed at but then he suddenly became a viable candidate. All of that totally shifted my narrative.
Because now you were covering his campaign?
Yes. I had interviewed Bongbong in the beginning and, frankly, he was so much less charismatic than his mother that I didn’t even use any of that footage in my original presentation reel for the Animal Island doc. But as the story evolved, his character became really interesting in relationship to his mother and I became interested in this idea of her as a “kingmaker” — someone who has a critical impact on political succession without being a viable candidate themselves. That was Imelda.
Imelda Marcos in Manila and Ilocos Norte in a still from KINGMAKER. Photo Credit: Lauren Greenfield.
Yeah, she reminds me of the Angela Lansbury character in The Manchurian Candidate.
She’s a very political animal. She did run for president at one point, and when Marcos was president and was sick, many people think she was really in charge. For me it was an interesting brand of female power. She even says that one of the advantages she had was that people didn’t take women seriously.
It’s hard to think of her and not think of Eva Peron, including how she is constantly passing out money to random strangers.
We had a dinner at the end of filming where an American visitor asked her if she related to Eva Peron. Imelda said she disliked the comparison. “I was not a prostitute!”
Interesting. She should also get her own musical, though.
She already has one! David Byrne did a wonderful musical called Here Lies Love that was about Imelda. But I didn’t get into this as this kind of biopic portrait of Imelda. There had been a really nice film about her 16 years ago by Ramona Diaz. I wanted to show the political story and how strategic it all was.
Did you come away convinced that she really believes the things she says about the Marcos regime? Do you think she could pass a lie detector test about her interpretations of her family’s history?
That’s a really good question. I do think, as I said, that she believes her own story. But I’m not sure that you can call her delusional because I think it’s very consciously crafted to her benefit. It’s something they’ve come up with over time. A lot of times in her interviews she’ll say the same thing over and over again, like she has these stock lines that she wants to repeat. But then she’’ll drop a bomb with her candor from time to time, too. I think her “truth” is a survival mechanism so she doesn’t have to be accountable for all those terrible things that were done during the Marcos regime. In her mind, she’s a good person that’s helping the Philippines and she’s doing it out of this maternal instinct.
She definitely seems to embrace this role as mother of the country.
And I think she’s addicted to the adoration. I honestly don’t think it’s about the shoes or the paintings. Amassing wealth has been a big part of their strategy for power, yes, but I don’t think she’s in it for the “stuff.” I might’ve come to it looking at her from the perspective of wealth and materialism, but I did not end up feeling like this was her driving force.
Imelda Marcos in a still from THE KINGMAKER. Photo Credit: Lauren Greenfield.
How concerned what she about her physical appearance in the film?
She always had her own hair and makeup people on staff. From my work, you may remember that I’m always trying to get into the dressing room, into the bedroom. Imelda would always come out fully coiffed and I was never invited into the bedroom.
She seems like a real pro around a camera crew.
Definitely. She’s always trying to control the story. Remember the moment I left in where she asks her servant to move a statue of a gold sheep so it’s facing the camera? And then when we go outside and she shows me all the dictators that she was close friends with? All of those portraits in glass frames were set up before I arrived. She kind of art directs her world for the cameras.
That was one of the most chilling moments in the film for me. When she accidentally knocks over some of the portraits and glass shatters everywhere, she doesn’t miss a beat, completely ignoring what happened and signaling her servants to clean it up. That conveyed so much.
Yes, like the whole Animal Island thing. She would just repeat over and over that there’s nothing left on the island. And I went to the island and there are as was many animals there now as they were originally and they’re really suffering. She never bothered to visit this creation of hers, even though she’s been back in the Philippines for many years. So it’s like the broken glass — let other people clean up the mess. That’s why I ended with her saying that “the past is the past, in fact, it’s not even there.” And then you see the poor giraffe looking at the camera like, “I’m here! I’m here!”
I always feel like taking your films with me to a therapist’s office because they touch on all my own issues about wealth. On the one had they confirm the biases about people with great wealth, but on the other hand, you always humanize them in such a way that makes me see them in different ways. Part of me really liked the Queen of Versailles woman and part of me couldn’t help but get a kick out of Imelda Marcos!
When I started, I thought this might be a redemption story for her because here she is in the latter years of her life. She could have distanced herself a little bit from her husband. She could have said, well, he cheated on me and he betrayed me and he did certain things that were corrupt. I think the reason she didn’t get convicted in the big lawsuit against her was that people blamed him rather than her.
Yeah, even if she had downplayed what Marcos had done just a little bit and then done some really good things, that would have made a huge difference in her overall image.
Right, but instead it was like this Trumpian thing where she and Bongbong and the whole family were going to lean into it and say those were the best years for the Philippines. Martial law was terrific. We have nothing to say sorry for. That was the real turning point for me in terms of seeing how they were really trying to rewrite history.
And succeeding in many ways.
Yes, absolutely.
You end up including the voices of people who were terribly hurt by the Marcos regime. How do you think Imelda will respond when she sees the finished film?
She’ll probably like the scenes with her. I don’t think she’ll like the scenes of the truth tellers because she likes her reality being the one going forward. But this wasn’t her first rodeo. She’s been in other films, she’s been featured in millions of journalistic articles in the West. There are framed articles all over her home that show her ups and downs and a lot of them are very critical.
There’s no such thing as bad publicity?
Yeah, but I also think Imelda is a narcissist and probably assumes that everything is going to be good.
It’s horrifying to see how Leni Robredo, the woman who won the vice presidency over Bongbong, is now being vilified by the Marcoses and their supporters. If I had to place a bet, I’d say that Bongbong Marcos is going to president of the Philippines in the future, it seems like the train has left the station on that.
Yes, they’ve done this electoral protest where they’ve recounted three provinces, which he selected, and as a result of that, Leni Robredo’s votes went up, but he’s still not accepting it. The Supreme Court, according to Philippine law, should be dismissing the case based on that result but they’re not dismissing it because it’s a Duterte-controlled court. So Bongbong can stay in the public eye, proclaiming he’s a victim as Donald Trump often does. He’ll probably run for president in 2022.
I want you to go back in time and do a documentary where you interview Marie Antoinette and then get the people in the street to talk about how their lives were impacted by her.
(Laughs.) I would love that! And frankly, Imelda is a kind of Marie Antoinette.
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The Kingmaker opens on November 8, 2019, in select cities.
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The Director Of 'Room' Returns With Another Stylish Adaptation. Is Anyone Paying Attention?
New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/the-director-of-room-returns-with-another-stylish-adaptation-is-anyone-paying-attention/
The Director Of 'Room' Returns With Another Stylish Adaptation. Is Anyone Paying Attention?
A high-profile Oscar nomination should, in theory, guarantee immediate good fortune, assuming that person chooses his or her next projects wisely.
Lenny Abrahamson, who made the Best Director nominee roster for 2015’s “Room,” seems to have done all the right things. His next act, “The Little Stranger,” opening Friday, is an adaptation of a well-received 2009 novel by Sarah Waters that put its own spin on the Southern Gothic horror tradition ― just the sort of thing that could lure genre faithfuls and arty cinephiles alike.
Despite Abrahamson’s Oscar foray and the popularity of Waters’ novel, the marketing behind “The Little Stranger” has felt muted at a time when non-franchise movies can’t afford to slacken their advertising crusades. Making matters more precarious, the film is opening in something of a death slot: The end of August misses out on both the summer blockbuster wave and the glitz of the upcoming awards season.
To go from headlining the Oscar derby to crossing your fingers in hopes that people will pay attention to your work sounds defeating. But when I talked to Abrahamson, he was relentlessly Zen. Maybe it’s his cheery Irish lilt, which lends every sentence an air of optimism. Or maybe the film industry’s fickleness is old hat for Abrahamson, who broke through a few years back with the small, eclectic indies “What Richard Did” and “Frank.”
“The Little Stranger” reunites him with Domhnall Gleeson, who played a wannabe musician in “Frank.” Here, Gleeson is Faraday, a doctor in 1940s England treating a family whose decaying 18th-century mansion creaks and leaks in all the wrong places. The house’s odd, ghostly occurrences require the bulk of Faraday’s attention, and he is steadily drawn into a mystery that evokes shades of his own childhood. Co-starring Ruth Wilson, Charlotte Rampling and Will Poulter, “The Little Stranger” is more of a psychodrama than an outright horror show ― and were it released a month later, Abrahamson might have seen his name again featured in Oscar prognostications.
I asked him about that and about one major change he made to Waters’ novel.
Let’s start at the end of the “Room” experience, by which point you’d made off with an Oscar nomination. We like to think of doors swinging open in the aftermath.
Carpets being rolled out.
Yes. Given the popularity of the novel, was the “Room” experience what you anticipated it would be?
No, it was more intense than I thought it would be. People had told me, with an Oscar campaign, “Oh, don’t forget to eat” and “You’re going to be absolutely exhausted.” Someone said, “Are you thinking about moving the family out to LA?” I said, “What are you talking about?”
But it is just absolutely full-on for six months. I was pretty much traveling for six months, with the occasional trip home to see everybody and then back. Before that, I’d never had a film in that conversation, so I didn’t quite know how it operated. And then it’s very intense because, much as you might like to think you won’t get obsessed with it, you’re so embedded in that world.
“It” being who’s up, who’s down, might you win, might you not, might you be nominated, might you not. And you think, “I’m not that sort of person. I’m above that.” And yet we all are affected by the environments we’re in, and it’s impossible to resist the big pressures in culture. Globally, in terms of what society you live in, you think your thoughts are all your own, but very little of what you think is actually yours. That’s something I always think about. But when you’re in such a pressure cooker like that campaign, it becomes your life for that period of time.
So I was surprised about how involved in it I got. You’re looking up [prediction site] Gold Derby, and you’re like, “I can’t fucking believe I’m looking at Gold Derby. Who am I?” [Laughs]
Paul Bruinooge via Getty Images
Ruth Wilson, Lenny Abrahamson and Domhnall Gleeson at the “Little Stranger” premiere in New York on Aug. 16, 2018.
We shouldn’t believe anyone in Hollywood who says they aren’t invested in their own Oscar odds.
At the end, actually, it was a funny thing, because you’re spat out of the other end, back into civilian life. It takes a little while to remember: “What am I doing this for? Why am I doing it? What do I really want out of it?” And that question becomes sharper when you’ve had success like that because the possibilities are suddenly much greater, so you can sit at home as a fledgling filmmaker going, “Would I do a big movie if I was offered it? Or would I say I would never do a big studio movie?” It’s very easy to refuse something that has not been offered to you.
When you come out the other side of a film like “Room,” which catches a wave, you really do have to sit down and think about what it is you really do want to do. Other people will have views as well, and certainly doors absolutely opened. They opened throughout the process. Scripts came. I got to read everything, and I still do, which is great.
But that little naggy voice has always been the one that eventually I’ve listened to and why I’ve made the odd choices I’ve made in the films that I’ve chosen to do. I’ve never been strategic. It’s always been like, “Oh, I want to do that because I want to do it.”
What was the appeal of “The Little Stranger”?
“The Little Stranger” had been sitting there for quite a while. I’d been working on it way before “Room,” and I’d read the novel before “Frank” and “What Richard Did” — way back. And I’d really been obsessed with it as an idea and a piece of writing. I came out of the other side of a successful literary adaptation really not wanting to do another one. But we — myself and Lucinda Coxon, the great screenwriter behind it, and the producers — had been working on it. They waited for me through “Room,” and I thought, “I still really want to do this, and if I don’t do it now, other stuff will take over and I won’t get back to it.”
I just ultimately did it because I really, really love it. I know it’s an odd choice in a way, but I don’t know what good thing isn’t an odd choice.
Were you offered a big studio movie?
Nobody came and said, “We want you to do the next ‘Star Wars’ or something like that.” But I certainly read lots of big, meaty things. I don’t really want to do that stuff. I saw somebody was doing a list of who Marvel’s going to tap in the next five years, and I found my name on those lists. And it just makes me laugh because I can’t imagine doing it. But it wasn’t like anybody came and said, “We’re going to pay you loads of millions of dollars to do this,” and I said, “Away with you.” But I think I probably would have said, “Away with you.”
I was asked by my agents, “Do you want to put your name in the hat for X, Y and Z?” And I said no. And it wasn’t a difficult decision to make. It wasn’t, like, deeply courageous, with me going, “Oh, I desperately want to, but I feel it’s wrong.” I just know what I’m into. And it tends to be the case that the people who do things well are the people who love those things. I always laugh when art-house filmmakers say, “I want to make a popular movie. I’m sick of not making any money and living in obscurity.” You think, “It’s not easy to do those films. It’s really hard.” And there are people out there who have lived and breathed that stuff since they were kids, so they’re always going to be better.
But I did read lots of stuff. I could look at some films and say, “Well, that could be in the conversation for awards.” But it was time to make “The Little Stranger,” and that’s what I chose to do.
Focus Features
Charlotte Rampling in “The Little Stranger.”
What’s the biggest thing you turned down?
I can’t really say, but there were projects where I was talking to friends and saying, “I can’t believe I’m saying no to this.” Listen, I’m not a saint. Had something come in that I was profoundly compelled by more than anything else, I would have done it. So the things I turned down, even though they were juicy and delicious and big in the independent world, just didn’t feel right for me. So I didn’t have any soul-searching moments.
And I never do that thing where you go, “I could have done that,” because it’s a shitty thing to do. You didn’t do it and you might have fucked it up. When it’s gone, it’s gone, and I don’t think about it anymore. And there also isn’t a lot of magnificently great stuff out there. Any filmmaker will tell you that.
Did “Room” make as much money as you thought it would?
I don’t know. It did do pretty well. It made way more money than it would have made had it not gotten into the Oscar conversation and won a [Best Actress] Oscar for Brie Larson.
Even though it was based on a celebrated novel?
The novel was really helpful as well. But it’s still hard to get people into a cinema for a film they know is about a kid and a mother in that situation. Much as [film distributors] A24 are incredible marketeers, it’s still hard to persuade people to do that. But a lot of people did go see it around the world and continue to watch it. It will have a long and happy life. It’s a really tough market to get challenging stuff seen.
That’s a perfect segue to “The Little Stranger.” On the surface, the movie has familiar genre elements, specifically in the supernatural horror realm. But it really isn’t as familiar as it might seem. Maybe that’s a marketer’s dream. You can dupe people into thinking it’s a more conventional movie than it is. We’ve seen a handful of arty horror titles do that lately.
I think it’s a risky strategy. I’ve gotten on extremely well with Focus Features [the studio releasing “Stranger”] and I had final cut on the film, so the film is the film I wanted to make. But no director has charge over the marketing. They’ve made a decision as to how they go out there. They haven’t gone full horror in the marketing, and I think that’s very wise of them.
But at the same time, it’s extremely difficult to make a trailer for this film and not have people expect more jump scares than they’re going to get, short of going for a festival release and a slow build where the word about what the film is like is the first thing to hit people. When you go out wider, which is what they’re doing, the worry is that you get a lot of people going, “Hang on a second, that’s not a horror film.” Much as you’ve hoped in the trailer to somewhat soften those expectations, it remains to be seen whether that strategy is correct or whether we should have gone for a slow build. But that’s easy for me to say. I don’t have the pressure of making that decision.
I like the festival route. It’s a filmmaker-friendly route, and you tend to be reviewed by the more sophisticated reviewers first. That sets a precedent. It’ll be interesting to see what happens with this film, whether audiences go, “Wow, that took me on a journey I wasn’t expecting, hurrah,” or whether they go, “I wish it was a bit more scary and a bit more gory.” I don’t know.
The marketing is one end of it, but it’s also opening on a weekend that’s always precarious for movies. The end of August is not always the most advantageous time to make a splash at the box office, at least not in America.
I feel the same. Why do you think that happens? I’m interested to know what it feels like from the outside. It’s a hard weekend because people are on holiday?
The deluge of summer blockbusters has tapered off, but we’re not quite into the prestige of Oscar season and the festival circuit yet. So those last couple of weekends in August don’t have much of an identity. You can’t hang your movie on any particular trend or M.O.
So I’ll tell you what [the studio] would say, because we’ve had these conversations. I think they would say they have had success with films in this very slot, that they’re trying to break away from the gridlock of post-festival awards season, which seems like an artificially crowded time. It’s gotten crazier and crazier. And I buy that because I saw how hard it was with “Room.” We did get it through, but it was so hard.
I think what they feel is this is a weekend where the film can have something of its own space. If it were me, what I would argue for would be either a small release post-festival or possibly an early 2019 release, just after the madness. So we’ll know in a couple of weeks. But also, a distributor’s idea of what success is and a filmmaker’s idea are different. I want people to appreciate the film that I’ve made, and I want its audience to find it.
Whether that audience is large or small.
Whether that audience is large or small. But it’s a big enough film, this one. Although I was always super clear about what I was making: “This is going to be a hybrid. It’s going to look like one of my films.”
The thing I find that’s kind of tantalizing is I do think there’s a sizable audience for the film, but messaging it correctly to get to them is the tricky part. It would almost be easier if there were no ghost story. You would talk about this film differently. But once you add that little dimension, it’s a huge gravitational pull. As soon as you mention that genre, it’s there.
People assume it will be a crowd-pleaser type.
Even though you had final cut on the movie, when you showed it to the studio, did you feel like they appreciated what you showed them?
I think it varied depending on who saw it. As human beings, they all had different tastes and different reactions. People recognized the quality of the film and were very supportive of that. I think if they could wave a magic wand and add just 15 percent more genre, they wouldn’t be able to resist. Having said that, they’ve been extremely supportive of what I’ve done.
Jeff Vespa via Getty Images
“Room” stars Jacob Tremblay and Brie Larson and director Lenny Abrahamson attend the Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala on Jan. 2, 2016.
The festival circuit provides the word-of-mouth rollout we were talking about, as well as a portal into the Oscar conversation. Slotting it right before that comes with the implication that this is not an Oscar movie. With just a couple of weeks’ difference, you’d automatically get shoved into the awards derby, even if nothing comes of it. Coming off of “Room,” what did you make of being sent the message that you’re not quite right for Oscar contention this time?
I mean, listen. Do I think it’s an obvious Oscar film? I don’t think it is. And I never thought it was, even when I was making it. So that itself doesn’t bother me, and I do think it’s kind of silly how we have created this system. It’s nobody’s doing — it’s just the way it evolves when you’ve got such a powerful thing as the Oscars. Everybody feels that’s a mechanism to get more challenging films before a real audience.
It’s like the equivalent of boxing being a way out of tough communities. That’s your shot. For smaller, more challenging films, that’s your little catapult. But it’s so attractive that you end up with this huge glut of films in one place. I think something’s going to change, I really do. The Oscars are in a funny space at the moment.
Clearly, with this new popular-movie Oscar.
Hmm, yeah. Let’s not even get into that.
Let’s talk about one big detail in your version of “The Little Stranger.” Because the book is told exclusively through Faraday’s perspective, it ends far more ambiguously than the movie.
Yeah, that’s true. What we did with the movie — and not because I wanted to make it easier, but because it felt more satisfying in film terms — was to put the pieces of the puzzle all there. The film does incline you towards a certain interpretation, probably more than the novel.
I would argue the movie isn’t really ambiguous at all, even though it has a certain haziness to how everything comes together. Why’d you chose to go that route?
I had a very strong feeling about what it was in the novel, but I know people have been very uncertain. And Sarah [Waters] herself said she was surprised that it was considered as ambiguous as it was. We also shifted the emphasis a little bit with that last shot. There’s something very powerful in the idea of looking at someone both as the person they are and as the child they were. The film allows you to maintain the tension between those two entities.
In our lives, those two things are deeply mixed up. Maybe it’s the odd moments in therapy, when you suddenly go, “Oh my God, that’s why I behave like that. That’s the unresolved shit that’s caused all this trauma and trouble.” Faraday doesn’t have that insight into himself, but we allow the audience to feel the tension between that rather damaged and longing and baffled child and the lost, unloved character that we meet as an adult. That, for me, is the emotional center of the novel, but we want to make it explicit in an image at the end in a way that isn’t there in the novel.
What was Sarah’s reaction to that?
She sent me the loveliest email after she’d seen it and said she absolutely loved the end. I just saw something released on social media, which is a quote from her, and it’s really positive. I know her as a person — she’s not someone who would just say that. She genuinely feels, I think, that the novel and the film are the same thing, but the film does its work in a slightly different way.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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There's a question that's been on the mind of many Whovians for a while now, but even more so after Peter Capaldi recently revealed that this next season, Season 10, will be his final as The Doctor.
Who should play the next Doctor?
On a tiny island full of thespians, the list of potential British actors who haven't already played a part on Doctor Who is getting slim. (Not that previously appearing on the show prevents you from being cast again in a major role...) But moreso than discussing who specifically could be cast as The Doctor's next regeneration, some Whovians, seeking more diversity and representation in the show, are suggesting that the next Doctor should be a person of color, or more controversially, a woman.
So, if you're watching this, you're a Whovian who already knows about this and clicked here to see my opinion, of course. I'll get to that, but let me introduce myself a bit. I am a feminist. I am a cinephile. I spend all my free time watching movies, TV, and YouTube. I co-host a movies discussion podcast, where female representation and other diversity and inclusion are important topics. I also co-host a Doctor Who rewatch podcast. I haven't watched Classic Who yet, but I am familiar with all The Doctors, and some major plot points. I am someone who looks for and fights for great female representation in media and celebrates diversity of all kinds. This is my life. This is who I am. I've made media study, particularly women in media, my life.
So, when I say: I don't think The Doctor should regenerate into a woman. You should keep watching to find out why a woman desperate for better representation of women in media doesn't want to see the lead character of an internationally known and loved TV show be a woman.
My reasoning comes from two perspectives of the show: from within the show, as a fictional universe, and from the outside, as a show on television in the year 2017.
So, let's dive into this Whoniverse, and consider The Doctor as a person, er- Time Lord. The Doctor is over 2000 years old. He has regenerated 13 times. In all that livin', in all those regenerations, he has chosen to be a man. Hardcore Whovians may debate me on this- or have more informed perspectives, but from what we know from the show, a Time Lord does have some control over their regeneration, but not complete control. (He's never been a ginger.) Regenerations are not completely random, so I would say The Doctor has a pretty strong sense of his gender identity. I mean, I'm a cisgender woman, who loves being a woman, but I think I might try being a man once, if I could regenerate. But The Doctor is a man. Always.
Other Time Lords have regenerated as different genders. It is possible to change gender (or at least, biological sex?) and skin color/race with a regeneration. To know that it is a possibility, and seemingly not a shocking one, for a Time Lord to change gender with a regeneration would suggest that The Doctor is choosing his gender identity.
I think a sense of gender identity is a pretty strong argument for The Doctor to keep regenerating as a man, but let's look at it how the people writing all these think pieces are looking at the issue; representation in media.
Doctor Who has been around since 1963 in some form or another. Originally on television for 26 years, and back on television since 2005, The Doctor is an iconic British fictional character, among the ranks of James Bond and Sherlock Holmes. In all that time, with all the actors portraying the character, with the possibility of change and reinterpretation and rebooting the whole series anew, the writers, showrunners, producers, have kept The Doctor a white man. For a show in the 60's, this is nothing surprising. There wasn't really another option. That's what tv was. For a show in the 2010's, the audience and the people creating the show, know there can and should be more than just white men on our TVs.
There's plenty of room for improvement on Doctor Who in the area of representation, of all kinds. Wouldn't giving the show a female lead character give the show major female representation points? ...Not really. Representation is about more than quantity; it's also quality. And "representation" for representation's sake isn't really changing anything the landscape of modern television.
I find the idea of changing The Doctor to a woman because some fans and critics are calling for it like this recent fad of rebooting well-known men-starring movies with women in the lead roles. Turning a role written for a man into a woman isn't really representation... It's giving us men's sloppy seconds. Women deserve better. And audiences deserve better. We deserve to see women in roles written for women. To change The Doctor to a woman at this point would be just pandering for views, for the attention from controversy, for the pat on the back from feminists?
So, we want better female representation on Doctor Who. If changing The Doctor to a woman isn't going to help, what will?! I'm glad you asked. Representation of women in media isn't truly representation if it doesn't intersect with other identities that women have. Just adding more young, straight, white, able-bodied women isn't representative of many women. We need to see more queer women, trans women, women of all races, disabled women, older women, fat women. With so many new characters in each episode of Doctor Who, there is plenty of room for a variety of people to play those roles. I’d love to see more women baddies and more diversity in the types of women who come aboard the TARDIS as companions. With Bill, we are getting our second black woman as a companion, but I’d love to see a woman of a different race come aboard the TARDIS. And we’re all getting sick of this older man - younger woman dynamic that’s been going on in the TARDIS forever. Let’s get an older woman running around with The Doctor.
I don’t think The Doctor regenerating as a woman will do the show any good, from a character and story perspective, or a media analysis perspective. I would, however, love to see The Doctor regenerate into a non-white man. It’s about time for that. And we can work on improving the female representation with other characters on the show.
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Interview: Mary Kay Place Delivers Powerhouse Performance in ‘Diane’
For Diane (Mary Kay Place), everyone else comes first. Generous but with little patience for self-pity, she spends her days checking in on sick friends, volunteering at her local soup kitchen, and trying valiantly to save her troubled, drug-addicted adult son (Jake Lacy) from himself. But beneath her relentless routine of self-sacrifice, Diane is fighting a desperate internal battle, haunted by a past she can’t forget and which threatens to tear her increasingly chaotic world apart. Built around an extraordinary, fearless performance from Mary Kay Place, the narrative film debut from Kent Jones is a profound, beautifully human portrait of a woman rifling through the wreckage of her life in search of redemption. Diane also features a stellar ensemble including Estelle Parsons, Andrea Martin, Joyce Van Patten, Deirdre O’Connell, Phyllis Somerville, and Glynnis O’Connor.
I have admired Mary Kay Place for many years, from her wonderful work on TV in shows like Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Big Love, and Lady Dynamite, to her performances in films such as The Big Chill, New York, New York, and I’ll See You in My Dreams. I sat down with Mary Kay Place in Hollywood to discuss this achingly poignant film.
Danny Miller: What an extraordinary performance, Mary Kay, and just remarkable that you’re in every scene. When you work on a role this intense, do you have to bring in some resonance from your own life?
Mary Kay Place: Oh, I think you do. When I made this film, my parents and grandparents had already passed away. I certainly understood that element and I related to the community aspect of the town that Diane lived in because that was like my grandparents’ towns. They were different sizes, but I remember that same kind of casserole exchange and people picking up each other up from doctor’s appointments and all that. My grandmother did that for a million of her friends. I really connected to that aspect and I think everybody’s got some addiction in their family history, too, as I do, so I could relate to the pain of that as well.
The story of you and your son in this film is so moving. That look in your eyes when we understand that you know what the son is saying isn’t true, but you’re just trying to find a way to move on and be hopeful while still trying to protect yourself.
Yes. I try to get him to see his own truth instead of being in denial. And I know that I’m codependent, but I’m just trying to cope as best I can.
It’s so interesting how your character longs to be in control and yet keeps having these moments that are almost like a surrender. Like, okay, this is the reality of what’s happening so I just have to deal with it and move on to the next thing.
Right, to the next item on the list to cross off.
I found this to be such an adult film because nothing is over-explained. It takes a while to figure out all the relationships and to uncover the baggage that each character has. I love that. Were you always on the same wavelength with writer/director Kent Jones about what Diane was going through or did you have to find your own place in understanding how she was moving through the world and things like how her guilt was affecting her relationships?
I definitely had to find my own place. I actually wrote a complete and total history of Diane from the time I was in high school to meeting my son’s father to that relationship with my cousin’s boyfriend, every detail of that. I also researched the closing of the GE plant in Pittsfield where Kent’s mother was from and all of the things that could have affected the people in this area.
I want to that as a novel! So you went into Diane’s back story even more than Kent did?
Oh yeah, Kent hasn’t even read what I wrote about her. I sent him an early draft but then kept working on it for weeks so I could really understand the character.
Wow, do you always do that when you play a part?
Yeah, if there’s any particular thing that has impacted my character in some way. Even if the audience doesn’t know what it is, I need to know because if it’s just some general idea, it doesn’t resonate in the body the same way. Like Diane running off with the cousin’s boyfriend. It was a moment of real spontaneity, maybe the first and only time I’d ever have that. I know why I did it but I also know I blame myself for my son’s addiction because my leaving was such a big deal in the family and everyone was scandalized.
There’s a lot there that I can relate to from my own family. I still feel like the emotions from the movie are in my cells even though I saw it a week ago. When you’re acting in something this intense, do you feel like those emotions enter your body?
Oh, absolutely. I remember reading something Jessica Lange wrote after she played Joan Crawford in that film a few years ago — that your body doesn’t know that you’re acting. And my body definitely did not know, I had a real physical thing that happened as a result of making this film, I got a physical illness from taking all of that in.
Whoa, how do you cope with that?
I started doing mindful meditation and other things to counteract how the body deals with the stress. Between this and doing the TV series Lady Dynamite, I honestly hadn’t work that intensely since I was doing Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman more than 40 years ago. I remember back then our schedule was so intense, recording that show five times a week, and I was also making films and recording albums. It affected my physically. I went into a depression in the early 1980s because I didn’t know how to book my time, and I didn’t know how to restore myself in between projects.
Interesting. I remember Patti LuPone talking about why she couldn’t do two very serious plays in a row, that’s why she does fun musicals like Anything Goes in between her more intense projects.
Right. I was offered this very deep, dark part right after doing this film and Lady Dynamite and I had to turn it down. Number one, there wasn’t enough time to properly prepare, but number two, my body wasn’t ready to go back to that place and I just knew it would not be good, I had to protect myself from that. So your question is very insightful, Danny, because it does take a toll. I think that’s why Heath Ledger is not alive today. He did drugs to counteract that stress. I think there needs to be some spiritual or psychological letting-go ritual after very creative work. I’m still trying to figure out how I can develop something like that because it’s a lot of intense energy in your central nervous system. That said, we had a lot of fun making the movie, there was a lot of laughing and it wasn’t a morose atmosphere on set. But we spent 16-hour days working and then as soon as work was over I had to prepare for the next day.
It’s hard to believe the entire movie was shot in 20 days.
Yeah, so there wasn’t really any time for hanging out and relaxing. It was all work all the time, but it was still fun and exciting.
Watching that ensemble of great actors was just thrilling. I loved that dinner table scene with all of those amazing actors such as Estelle Parson and Joyce Van Patten.
They were great, weren’t they? Estelle has amazing energy and is just titanium. I remember we were shooting a scene in the hospital at one in the morning and she was bouncing all over the place! And Joyce and Andrea Martin and Phyllis Summerville and Deirdre O’Connell as the cousin. So fabulous.
This film brought up so much stuff for me — so many family complexities that I could relate to, from dealing with mortality issues as I’m doing now to the mother leaving, as my mother did back in the day, to all the addiction stuff. What have the discussions been like after screenings?
Very interesting. A lot of younger people don’t really want to think about death. But for baby boomers, even if they’ve put off thinking about these things for years, they’re finding out that they have to deal with them now. Many people feel very connected to this story, and a lot more men than I thought would be.
I could certainly relate to Diane and see the areas in my life where I needed to look at things that I do.
Me, too, God knows. Especially that thinking where you get stuck on a loop of regret about something you’ve done in the past and you just can’t get off of it.
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Diane is currently playing in select cities.
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