#Even in REALLY messed up situations

[revenantghost]

Man, you ever think about how so much of Vash’s suffering is tied to Knives? In the obvious, direct ways of course. But also in how the humans around him suffer and hurt him. People are afraid of what they don’t understand, sure, but the average amount of compassion on Noman’s Land would be so much higher if Knives weren’t constantly fucking everything up and people had basic needs met. Small communities and people in general aren’t so goddamn awful as a baseline in a lot of places. There are outliers, yeah, but if humanity could have recovered and made the best of things, had a chance instead of widespread dispair, there might be peace.

And if Vash didn’t have to fight so goddamn hard every second of every day, he wouldn’t be covered in half those horrific scars.

#Trigun #Like that's what Vash's concept of love and peace is based on #That humanity can fundamentally always make that choice #And often do #Even in REALLY messed up situations #But Knives constantly puts humanity through the meat grinder #And the shrapnel constantly slaps Vash across the face #Knives keeps trying to teach Vash a lesson #That life fucking hurts and people will hurt him #But NO ONE knows that better than Vash #Man I'm having emotions you can just ignore me #Trigun Meta #My Trigun Meta

[feroluce]

I've only recently started having my own thoughts about Emanator!Sampo and I think my favorite version of this is that he is technically an Emanator, it's just that he doesn't talk about it because Aha is a dick who only blesses people that don't want it and Sampo hates it here dkjxkdkdck

Aha blessed the Mourning Actors! A whole faction of people who have specifically made it their life's mission to resist Elation! They made a literal worm their Emanator just to see if it would be accepted into the Genius Society! And when it wasn't, Aha just as easily killed it and tossed it aside! So I feel like there is a good possibility that Aha looked down at Sampo, this little oddball who doesn't seem to even like Epsilon or a lot of the Masked Fools and was like.

Hey.

You know what would be really really funny.

And I feel like being an Emanator wouldn't even be a plus for Sampo, because of how he operates. Sampo excels at blending in; he managed to smuggle himself onto a planet

that had been isolated for 700 years,

with only one (1) single city on it,

and going even further, he snuck himself into the Underground,

where the population is even more sparse,

and STILL. Not a single accusation of him being an alien! Not even after the Astral Express lands and proves that interstellar space travel is possible! Sampo is so thoroughly ingrained into Belobog that yeah, some people admit they don't know his origins, but none of it ever comes with the question of whether he actually is a Belobog native or not. Sampo knows exactly how to blend himself into his surroundings in the most subtle way possible. And being an Emanator, something far more powerful than any normal human or Pathstrider could ever hope to be, would only throw in a massive extra variable for him. Sampo would have to be so so careful to keep a lid on his Emanator traits, to keep up the appearance of being totally normal and average at all times. It doesn't help him at all.

And this part is pure indulgence, but I love taking Aha's closeness with mortals, and THEIR tendency to take human form, and twisting it into a case of THEM using Sampo as a vessel.

I want Aha to look at Sampo the same way all of us look at Sampo. A chew toy. A plaything. Something to shove through the meat grinder. Aha thinks Sampo is hilarious and a funny, silly little guy, and THEY want to put him in Situations just to see what he does. Sampo is not a fan.

This though, this is what makes Sampo so wildly entertaining as a vessel. Because Aha knows that Sampo does not want to be a vessel, does not even want to be an Emanator, and THEY find it SO much fun to watch the mental gymnastics he has to pull to convince himself he's ok with it, this is fine actually, because he's not exactly about to tell off a literal god. He doesn't feel like getting a smiting today, please and thank you.

Because squeezing yourself into a human vessel is so different than merely adopting a human disguise, there's already a human soul in there, it's kind of a tight fit. If Sampo doesn't make room, doesn't all but dissociate right out of his own body, it could cause. Consequences.

And so, Aha always gives a warning, just to watch him squirm.

It begins with the sound of bells.

Just little ones, at first. Small, clinking little sounds that could even be considered nice. Something almost gentle, like a wind chime in a pleasant breeze on a warm day. This is the signal for the countdown.

Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Makes himself as small as possible within his own body.

The bells rise and multiply, tinkling wind chimes give way to sleigh bells, to shopkeepers bells, the sound of something inevitable approaching, something entering.

Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Dilutes himself, weaker and weaker concentrations.

The bells rise and rise, multiply and multiply, celebration and tragedy resonating in the sound of church bells, ringing bright and loud, the sounds of weddings and funerals both the same.

Sampo breathes in, breathes out. Becomes like smoke, like vapor. Hollows himself out.

Empty, empty, empty until he echoes, like a bell, like something with the sole purpose of being shaken and rattled around, a thing to be struck, the sounds jarring and punched out and gasping and piercing the air, the lung, the eardrum.

Sampo breathes in.

Beaten he rings, bashed in he sings.

Aha breathes out.

#sampo koski #hsr sampo #hsr aha #emanator!sampo #emanator sampo #hsr #honkai star rail #my fics #pardon me I've been listening to a lot of kara kara kara by kikuo lately dkxjkskdmd #I really like Emanator Sampo theories and even think canon is pointing that way- assuming he isn't just Aha in disguise #but I also like Sampo being a pathetic little guy. a squeaky toy. just a little dude. #and thus. this skzjnskdkd #an Emanator but pathetic about it haha #stringing Sampo up like a piñata so I can beat him with the possession angst stick ☆ #he just has a lot of personality. Sampo is very bright and vibrant and distinctive- #-and always perfectly in control of himself to put on the best show. #so I think it's most jarring to see him dissociate- to see him go completely still and quiet just trying to breathe and settle #breate and settle breathe and settle breathe and settle #until he looks distant and hazy and goes unresponsive. until he feels like he is barely within his own body. #aha thinks this is funny #sampo tells himself he does too because it's easier that way #(shaking hands with Aha and Sparkle as I too like to mess with Sampo and put him in situations snkzjsjdkd)

[jestroer]

I'm not usually a person to post on many serious matters not regarding fandom on here, but as someone who watched a lot of his stuff and posted about him in the past a bunch, I just wanted to say that I'm no longer am going to interacting with any of Wilbur's content and if you support Wilbur Soot then please don't follow my blog because you are not welcome here. All strength and love to Shubble in this ✊

#just felt i should adress this stuff cause its. yeah #its so messed up #his music really helped me through some messed up stuff and even if i wanted to listen to it now i couldn't even enjoy it i don't think #its just. man #i havent been watching much of sbi and their friends since technos passing but like. this still is such a punch for some reason #glad shubble is in a better situation now and that she had the strength to come out with this. this is such a mess #tw abuse #Wilbur soot #im not gonna make more posts about it or rb much stuff if its not support for shubble #cause i try really hard to have my blog be a positive space for myself and for people who enjoy my art and my blog #but like. wilbur is such a godawful person and its like. with dream i just always thought he was annoying asshole #if not an absolutely awful person although you know i don't rule it out #but with Wilbur like. i never thought about him this way and now that i do a lot of stuff feels. well bad #there are a lot of things that seem really bad with this context. #its just. man. what a fucking asshole. don't even have words for this

[fidgetspringer]

Today we learned not to trust ice bridges.

#he was looking at it before i came over so i figured he had it under control #nope #just fucken trotted right onto it #i rarely help him or intervene when we come upon new terrain #he always recovers well when he messes up and he learns best on his own in situations like these #the only thing i help him with are big steep drops #he knows to wait for me to grab the back of his harness to break his fall before he jumps off #but aside from from that i always just let him figure things out on his own #and because of that he's become a very clever and confident hiker even in difficult terrain #i just unclip him from my belt and let him use his brain unimpeded #and usually he handles himself really well

[citruslullabies]

How long is your break going to last?? :(

we crave stories

Hello darling!

So as for my break, I don't have a specified date where it ends.

Honestly I'm just taking a break until I feel mentally up to writing and posting again.

And well, having to delete negative stuff out of my inbox isn't really helping lol

Now. This isn't to say that I am not working on stuff for you guys, I am!

So when I feel ready, I will post stories again.

For now I just want to relax, eat my tuna salad, and focus on myself.

But my break probably won't last much longer, so you'll get your stories soon.

#I will probably get back to writing in a day or so #maybe even sooner than that #but for now I just need some time #I will still answer any silly things in ny inbox!! #questions or just you guys saying random things #but i promise i will get right back to writing stories once im ready #that whole situation the other day really messed me up

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles #its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring #im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus. #theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny #actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters #idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me #anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too #and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys #and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male . #maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it. #guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things #i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just. #we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it. #you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week. #but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it. #i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff #but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me. #my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months. #but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy #i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play #all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good. #marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho) #i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often #uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying. #saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up #im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh #text

[synodic-lupine]

BPD Tenth Doctor

#tenth doctor #doctor who #just the way he does relationships in general pings that way to me #how he needs someone as his anchor point and they become his whole world #the clinging but then pushing away or lashing out when scared of losing them #the way he seems to stop caring about his own wellbeing when someone he cares about is in danger or gone #the 'no second changes' mentality #while also going way way out of his way to offer people a first chance even when they don't deserve it #the whole harriet jones situation #and really a lot of how he interacts with jack #the type of way he messes things up with martha #and how he just sort of assumes every time donna asks for a break she is gonna leave for forever #how he clams tf up when people DO promise him forever #the 'always on the run' attitude where it feels safer to never settle down #bpd is a presentation of trauma and an adaptation to survive it #and it's like how he's adapted to deal with the trauma of losing literally everyone and everything in the time war #his relationship with Rose is what made me think about bpd 10 in the first place tbh #she's his Favorite Person and he's different around her than anyone else #and he's riding the high of being with her while petrified of losing her while also doing things to push her away out of fear #then when he loses her it's like he's fully lost himself too #and he's so much more defeated and weary of caring after that

[persuasionstancy]

nobody will ever understand the impact of that one line steve told nancy in the woods "if we were meeting together for the first time right now, part of me thinks we would've made it"

it's full of some sort of quiet hope that he probably finds foolish but he can't help but feel anyway.

there's recognition of their attraction for one another and realization that it's something more deep and real than it was the last time, and then there's quiet sadness and regret for it happening so late when it's once again doomed and unreachable because she's with another.

#there's something about being aware of the impossibility of the situation you are in but still feeling the need to go for it anyway because #the heart keeps messing up with your rational side #i don't even think he was expecting for nancy to really give him an answer #i think he just wanted to acknowledge the situation they're in because ignoring it would hurt him even more #stancy

[thedreadvampy]

wait no sorry one last quick immature bitch moment

the more I find out about how this person has behaved in both this relationship and a bunch of other relationships, the funnier it is how much they like to set themselves up as a like. authority on ethical nonmonogamy and consent and conflict management.

when like. they constantly sexually assault people to prove a point, pressure their partners into shit, got into enm by cheating on 3 people concurrently, and literally every time a problem in their orbit is brought up it gets explained away without anything actually changing, or they cry about how hard it is until everyone says OH NO IT'S FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

you know. very "call yourself a Community Organizer even though you're not on speaking terms with your roommates" energies.

#red said #I'm mad tbh i know in being bitchy but this blog is my safe space to be bitch on #and this shit has been building up for years. not even just in my relationship with their partner. since the first time i meet them #in like 2018 #and having this chat with my pal last night now I'm no longer second guessing myself bc of my relationship has uhhh Crystalised Some Things #especially getting some new context on where a lot of the tensions and sensitivities I've been aware of for ages are from #also tbh when we broke up my ex led off with 'i know you think this is about [partner] but it's not' and i was like. it is though. #it's not the only thing but it's been a common thread through every piece of tension in that relationship #not saying if the partner wasn't there we'd have been together forever. i don't think that's true and I'm glad things went the way they did. #cause w were good for each other and breaking up was also good for us #but their partner has really caused me so so so so so much turmoil for years and i haven't felt able to acknowledge that cause it makes me #feel like an asshole. but like. OK SO I'M AN ASSHOLE. I'M FUCKING MAD AT THEM. #they are manipulative and controlling and they treat their partner like shit and they have perpetually made my life worse #i like a lot of things about them and i do feel for them. we share a lot of similar issues and i do understand how they feel a lot. #but fuck me they treat everyone around them so badly and a good chunk of the reason i ended things with their partner #is that i was so fucking sick of being told i was wrong and just didn't understand how hard they had it whenever i brought up #one of the many many many shitty things they did to me or to our partner or to our friends. #multiple times i left a situation in a fully fucked up mess and my partner came to apologise for how their partner has behaved #and within minutes it would turn into them explaining to me how it wasn't really their fault and i shouldn't be so hard on them #and like fuck that. had enough of that in my life with my previous ex. #anyway. yeah. i am probably being more didactic and aggro here than i genuinely feel. but there's some room for that anger i think #and i did get some room for it to breathe last night and that's good and helpful.

[one-half-guy]

I do not recall if I ever told you before, but I do have a bit of a story idea for Onyx and Shale: namely, Silver was born in the time that Sonic and friends are already teens. Shale is Cream's kindergarten teacher, and he and Onyx request the help from Sonic and friends to go take a look at their toddler who's displaying very strange powers. Cue everyone very surprised to see a mini version of Silver instead! And through some temporal mishaps with the Chaos Emeralds, little toddler Silver disappears... mere hours before teen Silver, who everybody knows already (Rivals 1 and 2 had already taken place, I presume), pops up and is highly surprised to hear just what has been going on, not to mention the fact that he's got parents in the past and thus he actually doesn't originate from the future at all.

It does mean that Onyx and Shale suddenly jump from having a toddler from having a teenager around, and that Silver spends a long time in the future by himself, but I don't mind the occasional sprinkle of angst in my stories :>

I do not recall if you have talked about this idea, however I do have this vague memory of coming across it, so guess it's a "maybe you've mentioned, but I can't say for sure" 😅

I love how much of a rollercoaster it sounds, with everyone just utterly confused and surprised in the beginning, to then everyone get utterly worried when Silver vanishes, just to the said hedgehog pop out nowhere and being received with the shocking news "you have parents"

Especially because I pictured the start being something like first just Sonic and Tails getting called by this couple because their son was displaying some fancy powers and then getting utterly surprised when they hear his name, recognize his chest fur and quills pattern and are just like "No way 😱" as they start calling every of their friends one by one who are all even more like "No way 😱" and "What am I supposed to know?! Call xxxxxx" until even Shadow is there and they are trying to figure out how this is even possible, just to be interrupted by Onyx and Shale telling the kid vanished and everyone panics trying to find him again 🤣🤣

But then I guess the couple couldn't be any more scared and in dread as they come to understand that their son is not coming back and will grow up surviving all by his own in whatever the future is like, probably thinking he was abandoned, taking such a role beyond what they could ever imagine... Angsty scenario in its purest form 🤣😭🤣😭

#I figure that's gonna be Silver's happiest day while it's gonna be Onyx and Shale's saddest and dreadiest day... #as they get to lose their son...then he appears already grown up... whar confirms he's growing up by his own... and this teen also is- #-in constant fight vs Eggman... and with all this time messing stuff... and it all is thrown at their faces within a few hours... #they not even get to properly understand every part of the situation they get everything all at once #akakakakakakakkakaka that's really bad... laughing so I don't cry #they all need therapy #thanks for sharing

[monty-glasses-roxy]

It was at this moment that Mr Burrows knew...

He'd snafucked up.

#tales from the pizzaplex #he really made a real snafuck up here huh? #snafucking mess of a situation this man #dayum... even dying was a snafuck to do why is nothing ever easy smh #lmao dkdmdkdk #maybe if he needing air wasn't a snafucking thing it wouldn't be a problem #skill issue. #lmao djskdjk look at this guy and his Stupid #THANK YOU FOR THE NEW WORD CEL I AM CLEARLY USING IT AS INTENDED AND NOT FOR BULLYING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS #lmao burrows really do be a snafuck himself huh?

[morningmarionette]

finished rereading and annotating Great Gatsby. Daisy and Tom make me sick /non negative.

#dorian reads classics #dorians great gatsby analyses <3 #no bc like i cant even bring myself to hate Tom by the end of the book anymore #everytime i reread it i get to page 179 (lmao) and its just like. he doesnt even see what he did as wrong. #he is able to completely justify himself and his actions bc its Right By Him and like while its not right hes so deep rooted in his beliefs #but also because he doesnt want to be the Bad Guy in this situation where most everyone is a bad guy. Ough. #AND THEN AND THEN #'[...] They were careless people; Tom and Daisy-they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money...' #'...or their vast carelessness; or whatever it was that kept them together; and let other people clean up the mess they had made' #(pg 179; The Great Gatsby; F. Scott Fitzgerald) #<btw guys that credit took me three times to type it correctly in the right format pls appreciate it) #THAT PARAGRAPH MAKES ME SO SICK BC THE PARALLELS??? #Absolutely UNMATCHED. #This might seem really silly and really fucking stupid but I really hope Fitzgerald knows that theres someone SO autistic bc this book #that it consumes most of his thoughts (its me.) #Yall should see the book mark Ive been using too bro...

[sysig]

Like a dream (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #Max Vyer #Dexter Favin #The latest reread really brought up some Feelings I wasn't expecting lol ♪ I thought I'd gotten them all out before but nope! New thoughts! #I love Max as a character quite a lot - he's a mess in so many ways and I really find him interesting! #He's probably one of the few characters that I actually have a ''Please for the love of god take him out of situations for once'' feeling #Everyone else I'm constantly like ''Make them sufferrrrr'' which I mean - I'm not about to say I don't also feel that way A Little to him #The proportions are different! That's all ♪ #He's just fjdsalfd he was failed on so many levels! Repeatedly! Despite how much of his pain is self-inflicted I can't help feeling bad ♥ #Max is not a good person! But I really think he could've been and the potential of exploring that gives me Feelings #Like what kind of environment would be good for him ♫ What kind of life would cultivate him #My brain immediately went to a scenic coastal village where he and Dex can eat fresh fish and work for dinner money and bicycle hehe #And sleep together in worn sheets <3 It's not fancy but it's theirs #But of course their story is a tragedy #The saddest part really is that Max was doomed from the beginning #Even if Dexter had taken him away - he really never would have though would he ♥ - but even if he had #Even if he had gotten clean and started to make a life for himself it never would've mattered because he's still not Max in there anymore #The thought of them escaping and everything being quietly blissful and Dex comes back to a Max sitting on their - /their/ bed #Just staring at his hands and smiling back at him #Hhhhhhhhh there's a lot of feelings <3 <3

[g3othermal3scapism]

if ur making a collection of good dance scenes in cinema and u dont include rain man, jojo rabbit, or moonrise kingdom, you will start to cough in 2 days.

#MORE PEOPLE SHOULD TALK ABOUT RAIN MAN #I WAS A MESS AFTER THIS MOVIE BRO #THEM DANCING TOGETHER????? OH MY GOD #THAT SCENE I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME #the jojo rabbit dancing scene. what if i kms #its so amazing #so perfectly awkward and beautiful and youthful and so ??? free???? more than anything else #jojo rabbit rips your heart out and crushes it #then carefully stitched it back up and hands it to you and gently tells you that its going to be okay and theres still hope for the world #theres so much hope even in the most hopeless situations #THINGS WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!!! #THEY WILL!!!!!!!!!!! #i love that dancing in movies has become such a symbol of freedom #and hope and youth #its such a human way to express your emotions #youre feeling really happy? youre listening to music you like and youre feeling amazing? #flair your arms!!!!! twirl around!!!!! jump up and down!!!!!!!!! #its so beautiful to me #i should make another post about the rain man dance scene #im running out of space #movies #rain man #jojo rabbit #dancing in movies

[gobstoppr]

gamers youll never guess what show ive been watching thru again

#art #phineas and ferb #perry the platypus #dr doofenshmirtz #i stand by my claim that all the chars have autism . #like . there is not a neurotypical bone in doof #he is a mess in social situations . he has extreme technical abilities with machines #he has a special interest with building really specific gadgets . #he loves to ramble about whatever shit hes been up to . specifically he likes to talk to his bestie perry #not even hc wise this fucking man . he fascinates me #god this shows really good gamers

[padfootastic]

i think—after writing saudade, my dislike for remus has become much more…clearer?

like, it’s definitely not the fact that he didn’t do anything to help sirius that bothers me. it’s pretty clear he had no power or resources to do anything about the fact, especially if even dumbledore didn’t do anything.

but the fact that he believed sirius to be at fault? or atleast, capable of betraying james? that he supposedly didn’t make any attempts to say, go see him in azkaban? that he acted exactly the same as everyone else in the WW who either didn’t know these two or only barely did? kinda terrible, tbh.

(and like, not to make it transactional or anything, but j&s did *so much* for remus; went above and beyond for him and…this is what he’s like in return? yikes)

#remus lupin #remus is like. such a shitty messed up character in shitty messed up situations #and the thing is—i can even empathise with some of his actions lmao #i too am someone w no energy or motivation to do things when it gets tough #things in motion stay in motion unless an outside force acts #except the motion is depression ykno? #but my god remus. just. a little faith could’ve gone a long way ykno? #imagine sirius escaping azkaban and knowing that there was atleast one person who always believed in him #and it’s the person who knows him best other than james #except what does he get? #betrayal betrayal betrayal #and yah i see those posts ab how remus was probably manipulated into it by dumbledore and all #but like. all of that is conjecture and depends on ur conception of him #but at the very core of it all—he didn’t believe in sirius. he thought he was capable of betraying james. #and can there really be a greater crime than that? #but also!!!!! it’s so shitty from james’ pov too!!!! #and now i’m thinking particularly of those fics where james or the potters come back #and take everyone except remus to task for their treatment of harry #and it’s one thing if it’s acknowledged and moved but most times it’s never even brought up??? #that remus never contacted harry???? #even after poa??? #like dude. that guy messed up a lot lol #saudade was just one way for me to come to terms w it #i still don’t think i like him—particularly considering his most ppl write him #but it was still fun #pen’s notes