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#Gather The Suspects
re-dracula · 11 months
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Gather the Suspects! A cozy murder mystery with a Scooby gang of Welsh neighbors who are really very unqualified. But they always win! This is a delightful show.
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gatherthesuspectspod · 8 months
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A GTS Short
This script is the first in a series of shorts intended to flesh out some more of the world of Gather The Suspects. One day, we hope you'll get to actually hear them! But in the meantime, we hope you enjoy!
SCENE 1 - INT - JACK and KARA’s Flat
Computer games are playing in the background and we hear JACK shout the occasional thing at his game. “Ooh, shoot him, quick!”  “Aaah you lousy thing…”  “Hey, that was my health pack! Give it back” end abruptly with a click.
JACK: (shouting) Kara! The bloody electric’s gone again!
KARA: (entering) Oh, for goodness sake. I thought we were done with all of this…
JACK: I’m sooo bored!!!
KARA: Jack, it’s been off for like five seconds, seriously?
JACK: (shrugs) Genius like this takes a lot of mental stimulation!
There is a knock on the door and the door opens
GERAINT: (calling in from the hall) Just me… you guys lost power too? 
JACK: (sarcastically) Nooo, we often just sit here in the dark and try to connect with our primordial selves... You know, really get in touch with that inner caveman.
KARA: Ignore Jack, he’s in a bad mood because he can’t spend an eleventh hour straight playing video games.
JACK: (Grunts) I’m going to find my Gameboy (rummaging around in the draws)
GERAINT: The whole city’s out I think, look, no lights across the Bay at all. 
JACK: Gaah! No batteries, stupid bloo-
KARA: Jack! I’m sure you can spend one night without gaming-
JACK (interrupting) Bored!   
KARA: Oh, for god sake, you’re such a child-
JACK (interrupting) Bored!
GERAINT: Aaaaanyway, I thought that you might be, so I dug out the old wind-up radio.
JACK: Oh, good! The radio. We may as well go live in the middle ages.
KARA: Oh, stop being so ridiculous, Jack. You like listening to the radio!
JACK: Yeah, when I choose to. Now it’s forced on me it feels just like work…
KARA: (pointedly) oh, I’m surprised you know how that feels… 
GERAINT: Aah, come on, it’ll be nice. You know, like the good old, bad old days. At least this time we won’t have bombs going off every five minutes. I’ll turn on WBC, I think that phone-in show with the really horrible callers is on…
You like shouting at that one… I’ll turn it on...
[Radio crank winds up and Jingle fades in. A voiceover announces  “WBC radio - Wales’ premier music and talk radio.”]
JEREMY: Welcome back to This Evening with Jeremy on WBC radio - 64.5 FM and online. Today we’ve been discussing climate change and the upgrades to the Cardiff Bay barrage. 
With low lying parts of the coast already feeling the effects of rising sea levels, what more can we do to keep everyone safe? Give us a call and have your say...Giles Hampson from Cardiff is on the line. Giles, Good Evening.
MR HAMPSON: Good Evening, Jeremy.
JEREMY: What do you think about the proposed upgrades to the barrage Giles, do you think the plans go far enough?
MR HAMPSON: Well, Jeremy, it’s all nonsense really, isn’t it?
JEREMY: Oh, so you agree with our earlier caller, John? You think it would be better to add to the sea defences around Tremorfa, rather than spend more money on the bay right now?
MR HAMPSON: (bluntly) No, I mean that man was clearly an idiot. A typical mentality for those tree-hugging do-gooders that got us into this mess in the first place. I meant the whole (emphasising with disgust) ‘Global Warming’ thing. I mean, it’s nonsense, isn’t it? Nothing but a fairy tale for simple minds.
JEREMY: (sighs) OK, Giles. There’s a lot to unpack there. Let me make sure I’m understanding you correctly… You don’t believe in climate change but you also believe that people like John, who do, are somehow responsible for the thing you don’t believe exists? 
MR HAMPSON: Uh, no, no. You are twisting my words…that’s just like the ‘mainstream media’. 
JEREMY:  Uh, ok… I mean, I’m recording this in my bedroom thanks to budget cutbacks - we’re not exactly the old BBC... But go on…
MR HAMPSON: I mean, all we’ve heard for the past 20 years is Global warming this, the environment that. It’s just a way to scare us into being controlled. I mean there is nothing we can do about it now, is there? 
JEREMY: We just heard from the Environment minister today, on this very programme, talking about yet another coastal town that’s been abandoned thanks to rising water levels… I mean I’m still slightly confused. What do John’s - and I quote - “tree-hugging do-gooder” views have to do with all this? 
MR HAMPSON: Aah, well they are the engine of control, you see. They make us feel guilty and try to force us into doing things at tremendous cost to the economy. All to perpetuate this...this myth.
JEREMY: So you do think it’s a myth? Even you said a few moments ago it was real.
MR HAMPSON: The myth is that this ‘climate change’ can be affected by us mere humans. 
JEREMY: So now you’re saying it is real?
MR HAMPSON: No, no, no. You’re putting words in my mouth…
JEREMY: You just said, “there is nothing we can do about it now.” 
MR HAMPSON: What I’m saying, sonny, is that even if it IS real, which I highly doubt that it is -
JEREMY: Why do you doubt that it is?
MR HAMPSON: (not put off by the interruption) WHICH, I highly doubt it is. BUT, if it is then it’s likely part of some natural earthly cycle, baked in on the seventh day... so, who are we to try and stop it? All these arrogant lefties do is cause unnecessary panic. We are British after all, and we - 
JEREMY: Actually, I hate to break it to you Giles, but Britain doesn’t exist anymore.
MR HAMPSON: (sardonically) We are inhabitants of the British Isles and will deal with it in the way we always have. A quiet stoic dignity. Just like the old Blitz spirit…
JEREMY: Or the civil war in 2023... 
MR HAMPSON: I’m not sure I like your tone, Jeremy. 
JEREMY: I’m sorry Mr Hampson. It’s just you have said a lot of things already... most of which are contradictory. You don’t seem to have made your own mind up. Is it fake or is something above our control or something we can control but left it too late to act on? So, which is it, Giles?
MR HAMPSON: Well, really does it matter? Either way, me downgrading my Jaguar to some crappy little Japanese hybrid isn’t going to save anything is it? It’s costing the economy millions. In my day we didn’t have any of this PC nonsense about -
JEREMY: But, I mean some may argue that it might be a little late now that entire towns are disappearing beneath the Irish Sea, but what about before, Giles - when it was in our power to change it, did you do anything?
MR HAMPSON: What do you mean, did I DO anything? What did those little tree-hugging do-gooders do about it? They are the ones so concerned about it after all. What did THEY do, eh? 
JEREMY: (sighs) but, Giles -
MR HAMPSON: And anyway, how could I possibly have done something? Surely if it is real - and I’m not saying it is - then it’s down to the government to do something about it.
JEREMY: Aah, so now we may be getting somewhere… so, when there might have been a chance to change things, did you vote for a party that would have tackled it? 
MR HAMPSON: Well, of course not, why would I? I may as well vote for the Toothfairy party! Look you and your lot -
JEREMY: My lot? 
MR HAMSON? Yes the liberal media elite
JEREMY: Again, recording from my bedroom which also doubles as my kitchen and lounge…
MR HAMPSON: You know I’m right, Jeremy. I’m speaking for the majority here. We’re sick of people in positions of power telling us, the real people, what to do and how to act. Me driving my Jaguar around the place isn’t going to solve global warming.
JEREMY: I don’t think you repeatedly bringing up your Jaguar gives you the 'man of the people' vibe that you think it does… 
MR HAMPSON: See, looking down at the little people again, while encouraging propaganda for such rubbish.
JEREMY: What rubbish?
MR HAMPSON: Climate change, of course. The mainstream media are constantly talking about it -
JEREMY: Because towns are literally disappearing, half of the Southern Hemisphere is on fire. We are a current affairs programme, we talk about the topics that are having a real-world impact on our listeners -
MR HAMPSON: Well I’ve not seen it. Are we just supposed to take your word for it - these things could be down to a number of natural things. Why aren’t you talking about the real scandal of our times - how people like us, the rea- 
JEREMY: Sorry to interrupt you, Giles. We’ve had another caller who’d like to get in on the debate. Jack from Cardiff, I understand you have a different view to Giles?
JACK: Hi Jeremy. Yes, that’s right. Loving the show, by the way… 
MY HAMPSON: (muttering) Oh, not this cretin... Jeremy, I must protest, he’s completely ill-equipped to be discussing-
JEREMY: (ignoring this) Oh, well thank you, Jack. And what was the point you wanted to make about this discussion?
JACK: Well, I just thought that it was important to interject a bit of science into the debate.
JEREMY: Oh, you are a scientist, Jack?
MR HAMPSON: No, of course he’s not a scientist, Jeremy. The boy is an idiot.
JACK: Well, I have spent many years working on this theory. Testing and revising my hypothesis but I always come to the same conclusion.
JEREMY: Exciting, well let us know what you’ve found?
JACK: Well, after much observation, I have concluded that Giles Hampson is a massive fu-
JEREMY: Oh.. uum… thank goodness for the cough button, eh? On that note, I think we’ll leave that discussion for today. While I go outside and have a large whisky, here’s the news… When we come back, we’ll be talking about… um.. I dunno, something fun. 
[Jingle again and the news begins it slowly fades into the background as focus shifts back to our trio in the flat]
NEWS REPORTER: Tensions in France continue tonight as the civil war continues. With food in short supply and much of Northern France under control of Front National, the embattled liberal government has demanded an immediate halt to all separatist action on French soil. 
Meanwhile, closer to home, the English government have denied all reports of the mass starvation event that took place in Kent last month. A spokesman for the government told the EBC last night that the story has been a clear plant, to undermine the superb work by the UKFree party to unite the country. The denials come hot on the heels of similar denials last month when allied drones spotted large funeral pyres being built on the banks of the Medway. 
We go over to our English correspondent, Harriet Graves, for more:
NEWS REPORTER 2: Thanks, Seren. Yes, the UKFree party aren’t taking these latest revelations very well. Two inside sources told me yesterday that senior government ministers had been shot because of the leaks. 
We have reached out to the English government for comment, but do not expect a reply. Back to you in the studio. 
NEWS REPORTER: Thank you, Harriet. Finally, researchers at Cardiff University have reported finding a way to increase fertility in mice. Should they be successful, then human trials are expected to start by the winter. This is one step towards the Welsh government objective of redressing our ageing population and productivity issue. In the Senedd last week, the opposition described the plan as “crap of the highest order, even if we did manage to increase the working-age population, where exactly does the first minister propose they work?"
And that’s your news round-up for this evening, join us again tomorrow at 6am. Nos Da. 
JACK: hah, you were right! Listening to the radio can be fun! 
GERAINT: I feel like I should have put more emphasis on the ‘listening’ part. 
KARA: We’ll be paying for that one at the next residents meeting…
JACK: Meh, it was worth it. 
[power clicks back on and things start humming again]
GERAINT: Ooh, the power’s back on… do you want to keep… oh, he’s already back on the Playstation…
KARA: Come on, let’s go grab a coffee...
Sound of shooting and clicking as Jack plays his games mixes with the grim news reports. Jack shouts, "hah, take that. Try steal my kill will you! That'll teach you to mess with StabathaChristie69" 
~CREDITS~
POST CREDIT SEQUENCE
JEREMY: Welcome back to this evening with Jeremy. Well after that eventful few moments, let’s see what else is on your mind, Wales.
Next up we have Jillian from Cardiff. Jillian. What’s on your mind this evening?
MRS HAMPSON: Hello? Hello? Yes, is this the Jeremy show? 
JEREMY: That's right, you're through live on the air with Jeremy. What's on your mind? 
MRS HAMPSON: I’d like to speak to the manager, please. 
JEREMY: (sighs) Why didn’t I take that tv job. 
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pensivespacepirate · 11 months
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just finished gather the suspects season 1!! a fun little show that made me realise how much fun small town gossip is
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frodo-a-gogo · 2 months
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Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms
#i am (lesbian) sipping him like a fine DESSERT WINE#my evidence by the way is very simple and very damning. joyce messier. there i said it.#if you guys can appreciate the fact that Joyce is a complex figure worthy of disgust yes but also worthy of empathy#despite being a venal coward facilitating acts of violence and slaughter of the organized working poor of martinaise in the name of capital#if you can understand that she is a dimensional figure while also being an embodiment of the moral apathy and cruelty if capital owners#but you cant look at evrart and see that he is (while deeply flawed and morally suspect) also a dimensional figure#on top of the fact that his motivations are eminently relatable and dare i say it baser#and his greatest failing imho is in failing to advocate for the interests of *all* the poor of martinaise#opting instead to marginalize the inhabitants of the fishing village in favor of a power grab in the interests of himself and his union#though this is imo a bit of a grey area morally. undeniably a wrong and bad thing to do but done in service of clairs political goals#to gather power to advocate for the working class against ultraliberal monoliths like wild pines and fascistic orgs like krenel#still super wrong but i can follow the moral arithmetic there tho i don't like it#but like my point is if u can see that joyce is evil and pathetic but still cool and sexy but you consider clair flatly distasteful#thats cus hes not conventionally attractive#cus he is *every bit* as dimensional and interesting as joyce and he is not nearly as politically shite even if hes interpersonally a jerk
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thelonebookman · 1 year
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To me the funniest thing in Glass Onion (a truly excellent movie filled with many funny things) is Benoit Blanc himself: Celebrity Detective.
Because.
This is not a profession that exists!
We think it does because it exists in media, but please name an actual famous crime solver, known the world, who isn't employed by law enforcement or journalism?
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merlinemrys · 10 months
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sometimes u just have to think about how gwen is thee it girl in camelot 😌 favoured heavily by morgana, courted by arthur and then became queen (not to mention that arthur was willing to forsake his entire kingdom just to be with her), lancelot loved her at first sight and he carried that flame of his affection until he died, gwaine stopped in the middle of the street to flirt with her, leon basically goes and shoots his shot while arthur’s dying, merlin’s willing to disguise himself AND die for her at any turn… nobody does it like thee babygirl ever <3
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chris-spacehere · 11 months
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i have several questions about Elquackity
Because, it has been made clear they're different people (they use different Minecraft users and also that one video explaining how he got split into two because of a vaping guy with ward powers or whatever)
So we know the quackity running around isn't a brainwashed quackity, but a whole ass other person impersonating him, so now my big question is
Where the fuck is our quackity and what is the federation doing to him in the meanwhile?
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cursed-princess-club · 10 months
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fake/pretend relationship au where the plaid + pastel royalties are all in on a plan to trick leland and the pastel princesses are told about his plan earlier or something idk so they pretend that they will actually have a wedding to get married but instead they EXPOSE his plans on that day
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theflyingfeeling · 8 months
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Do you think Aleksi is bi because I think he might be he gives the vibes (and I don’t like mean to speculate but I know he won’t see this)
honestly speaking I am yet to form my final opinion on the matter lol but based on recent events (=him being fruity on his live streams) I'm ready to say he might at least be bi-curious, if you know what I mean 👀
whatever his sexual orientation is, he's such a cool dude and cute as heck too 🥺
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doedipus · 8 months
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yesterday the lady I've been helping with housekeeping picked her daughter up from daycare early, who was very adamant that I watch tv with her, so once I finished the rest of the stuff for her mom, I watched over her shoulder on her tablet for a bit. it was like, some deeply vapid looking obviously low budget 3dcg cartoon she'd found on netflix that had some uninspired stereotypical "for girls" plotline going on and in my head I was like, is this really interesting for you??? there's gotta be better children's programming out there these days right???
so naturally I'm currently I'm scheming about how to send landlady copies of like, classic magical girl stuff or between the lions or even pokemon or something
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oathwilled · 2 months
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Tumblr media Tumblr media
pardon the low res photos of the steam deck but like... the dragon's dogma 2 character creator........
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a-silent-observer · 4 months
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I am being prescribed psychiatric medicine so potent the viruses just slide off of me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months
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...
#the problem with a mood profile that is mostly way down with peaks of way up is that when u return to a state of: the bullshit is easy.#i dont need to sleep. i could run around in circles. i could read a million papers. what kind of loser cant manage their life?#u r like: God fucking dammit i fucked up so much stuff. y tf didnt i do yhis at the time???? its so baffling like i went from fuck just let#me sleep forever to agitated and full of evil energy to like: ok im normal im gonna do the extraction ive been putting off for months#y couldnt i have been like this last week when i should have gathered a list of my failing students to the prof to make them withdrawal?#like y tf didnt i do that?????? i mean. its kind of a suspect way to run a class tbh bc u r artificially inflating ur score#but i could have saved like 6 ppl from an F. but i mean if u r struggling its sort of on u to reach out for help.#ugh. ive not been very good at my job this semester. but to b fair my brain has been trying very hard to kill me#genuinely i had to fill out a safety sheet in therapy and then go to a ta meeting where they were like: how r yall doing#? how do u feel abt the semester? and im just like aaaaaaaAAAaaaa 🙃#next semester i think im TAing for an online course. and im hoping its not bc i was so terrible they had to distance me from students lol#i mean. thats probably just me being paranoid but idk well see monday when i ask when the prof wants to meet before next semester#ay. its been a rougher semester than id hoped.#unrelated
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messrsbyler · 2 years
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so we all know the rain fight scene and the:
"We are not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we are just gonna sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?"
okay, now just picture Mike saying those same words to his reflection in a mirror because what if Mike also wanted just that, stay in his basement where things didn't have to change, where he could be himself and have his friends and Will by his side, where they could be safe. but that wasn't the normal thing to want, right? Mike was supposed to want something different, he isn't a kid anymore. he has a girlfriend now, he is getting older, life is changing, he can't want to spend the rest of the summer and then the rest of his life in his basement with Will? that's not... normal. it's not even an option, so he had to talk himself out of it and then, in the fight, he throws the same words at Will, except that Will refutes him saying that yeah, he really thought they could have that, together, and Mike is left silent because, then, Will would be okay with it? would he want it, too? but, what does that mean? can it be an option? no one seems to think so. everyone his age, they are all moving so fast, getting dates and going out, making out, just growing up, and mike can't get stuck or get behind... but if Will was there too... could it be so bad?
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ambreiiigns · 8 months
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yesterday i watched intruder 1989 btw funniest shit i ever seen
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nyctoheart · 2 years
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literally my favorite times on this website is when a new KH game comes out and I just get to write long post after long post of thoughts or theories or analyses or opinions, and answer so many asks and talk about it UGH!!!
i hope I get to do that with dark road. Pleeaaasseeee
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