#I HATE BEING 9 AND STUPID

[grim-echoes]

after telling my beloved and their followers about shadow the hedgehog's 326 unique endings i went and looked at speedruns of the game and learned that you can just bypass the last and worst platforming section of cosmic fall using a ring trail that you can trigger that i never ever knew about as a kid and i'm now thinking about how that specific section in expert mode drained me of almost a full stock of lives and i got so frustrated and upset i never attempted it again. third to last stage. i was so close. i want to beat preteen jesse with a rolling pin so fucking bad

#cosmic fall itself isn't too difficult it's just a few weird platforming sections over bottomless pits you'll figure out quickly #but the fucking expert layout #the very last outside platforming section has a very very long and steep drop onto a moving platform far below #which makes timing your jump incredibly difficult because of how long it takes to descend #and i would somehow miss it each and every single fucking time #AND ALL THIS TIME I COULD HAVE JUST SKIPPED IT #I HATE BEING 9 AND STUPID

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the high prices of fucking Everything is so exhausting i stg

#i need to take an uber to the vet TEN MINUTES AWAY #i repeat IT IS A TEN MINUTE DRIVE #and its gonna cost me nearly 60 bucks. the FUCK #and who knows how much the checkup for my cats is gonna cost #let alone whatever prescription they need for the long drive #im so tired. im so so tired #its moments like these where i can see my future #ah yes. working 9-5 for a company that sees me as nothing more than a tool to be replaced when broken #just barely scraping by on minimum wage in a world where that isnt enough to pay for essentials #left with no time or energy to actually enjoy being alive or do the things i love #years and years of the same exact shit over and over and over again hating every second #and KNOWING it could be so much better but also knowing that it fucking Cant. sigh #sorry sorry im just. angry again at the absolute state of things #i would love to love life but my fucking god the world at large makes it tough #white-knuckling the little things once again #man its just. its so STUPID lmao #like why are we torturing ourselves like this? why are we just Accepting this #life could be so great but stupid shit like taxes and inflation and utilities exist #most of the shit we have to pay for should be free. it should be free. #it shouldnt be difficult to Live just because the majority of us don't have the fake fucking paper to buy things #its pointless its ridiculous and it makes me furious #why should i kill myself just to survive huh. why should i. why should any of us. #we all deserve to fuckin. idk enjoy sunsets and good food and art and each others' company. #instead everyone's stressing themselves to death over making rent and getting groceries and paying bills. fuck. #id love to be able to create art that Sells and open a shop or something #but also the thought of creating purposefully marketable art purely to make money fucking kills me inside #comms are one thing but... just... sighing sighing sighing. man idk #i just dont know. ill deal but everytime i manage to think positively reality comes in with a sledgehammer and now i want to go back to bed #the point is to live BUT YA CANT FUCKIN LIVE BC POINTLESS STUFF REIGNS SUPREME. WHO'S GONNA COMMIT ARSON W ME CMON LETS GO #this stupid fucking country and this stupid fucking government. i hate it here

[romanadvoratrelundar]

not gonna lie saving gallifrey was such a boring asspull to bring other time lords back in the mix. & the way the time war was portrayed took all the genuine horror out of it. like, think instead about how interesting it might have been to bring in gallifreyan refugees or something as a way of having time lord stuff to play with without undercutting the horror of the time war and the the doctor’s genocide. honestly the fact that gallifrey got brought back at all kills the really interesting implications of the doctor being the one to singlehandedly end the war, & what that means for their character. and it also kills the horror of the end of time, and how to bring gallifrey back, in any form, would bring with it all the horrors of the time war, war crimes and weapons to terrible to be described, with names like the nightmare child. and in one episode, they just. bring it back and everything is FIIIIINE. the doctor never committed genocide, bringing gallifrey back has no real repercussions the likes of which were implied in the end of time. (like, imagine the creations of a society like the time lords primed for war. even if all were stripped of weaponry, consider the terrible knowledge of such things that might be unleashed, the repercussions of such a war on time lord society & thought.) give us the skaro degradations, the horde of travesties, the nightmare child, the could-have-been king with his army of meanwhiles and never-weres. like, show us the hell that the doctor himself said the war had become by the end!! the doctor only takes the gun from wilf when he realizes the time lords are returning. that holds meaning!!

like, imagine if they actually HAD explored the full implications of how the time war had been lampshaded in previous episodes, gave us a full arc of the doctor dealing with the fallout of the timelords returned, weaponized and wielding horrors unimaginable. bring back the rani! explore the full implications of the doctor’s willingness so commit genocide upon both his people and the daleks. what was so terrible that the doctor decided that for the universe to live, both must die?? there’s so much to work with in that idea alone!!

or like mentioned, give us gallifreyan refugees! surely not all died or were trapped, surely there were other time lords, if even a few. and like, i know that house thing kinda explains that away as “any remaining time lords got eaten by the house” but frankly, i just think that if that’s the excuse you go with as to why there’s no other time lords besides the doctor &the master until gallifrey returns, you’re handwaving it. that could be fascinating!! you could tie it into the audio dramas, or the novels, give us characters from those, bring back characters from classic who! hell, you could bring in the valeyard as a doctor from a timeline that spooled out of the time war, a vesion of the doctor who was never meant to exist, and who practically doesn’t.

at the end of the day, i’m just never getting over the wasted potential of the time war in nuwho. it makes me feel absolutely bonkers, because there’s so much there!

#tldr: go read rtd’s short story about 8 regenerating to 9 #& the end of the time war. its good #i’ll be real i didn’t watch the middle of the capaldi era in great depth bc i found this plot fucking stupid #i also can’t talk about 11 in great detail bc 11’s seasons made me feel like i was being forced to take my brain out back to put it down #so if there are factual inaccuracies in this lmk but. #at the end of my day my opinion is that moffat should have put up or shut up wrtto the implications of t #gallifrey’s return. like…… ?? #doctor who #anti moffat #moffat hate #kinda?? like. this is very much a criticsm of moffat plotlines #the time war #gallifrey #nuwho #new who

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[lord-squiggletits]

IDW1 must take place on an alternate Earth where no one has ever heard of ACAB and everyone wears "thin blue line" merchandise because there's literally no other way that a single Autobot killing a USAmerican cop in self defense would be such worldwide news that even Mexican journalists would go "OMG???? You like, killed a cop?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?" and it wasn't even framed as like, "you killed a human," the phrasing every time any character talked about it was very specifically "he killed a cop".

The cop was also threatening to shoot a group of surrendering/not-attacking/injured Autobots btw which is just the icing on the cake honestly lmao

#yeah i still think about how that plot point's handling in phase 2 was fucking dumb #you can't convince me that if a usamerican cop got shot by an alien people wouldn't be making memes about it #ppl would be making memes like 'you know a pig is a pig because he'll even shoot alien robots when they're surrendering' #i'm also mad bc the gun that that cop had was a replica of cybertronian guns that meg spread among earth's populace #and what's worse is spike and this other guy literally HEARD M EXPLAIN HIS EVIL PLAN ABOUT THIS #but somehow in phase 2 literally no one ever brings it up ever again #like not even spike brings up the whole 'yeah M had mind controlling guns that he did specifically to destabilize the population' #he was just like 'nah that autobot shot a cop the autobots are evil now' #but like. i wanna make the earth ac/ab memes so badly lmao #you know that ppl would be making 'officer down' jokes about some cop getting killed by an alien robot #don't try to tell me that it's bc they're alien robots people would suddenly support the US #ppl literally make 9/11 jokes bc they hate the US that much don't even try to tell me earth would suddenly unite over a usamerican cop #getting shot on the job no less #and this is also a story written by barber who's literally the ac/ab writer that gave OP shit for being a cop so like #it's honestly so baffling. like was he trying to make a point about police brutality #bc jazz is black coded and he killed a cop so that's why barber wrote everyone hating jazz for it? #idek it's just another one of those stupid plot contrivances i hate and make me unable to take the rest of the story seriously

[wriochilde]

god i hate tobirama fans.

#the way you people hate the uchihas is honestly wild #i keep seeing that picture of itama being cornered go around. yes he was 9 years old and yes it was bad #but it was always a mutual thing. senjus and uchihas are two sides of the same coin #kishimoto makes this VERY obvious. madaras siblings were killed too. they were just as young as itama #tobirama was not right. tobirama was fucking racist and he spread his honestly terrible ideals to hiruzen and danzo #i will NEVER understand why people hate the uchihas #everything surrounding those characters is so sad. how can you hate them #sasuke was tragic. itachi was tragic. madara was tragic. obito was tragic #learn how to read you stupid cunts #finn.txt

[bootyful-seventeen]

hey y'all, anyone have any good stress relief tehniques or habits they'd like to share cuz I've been more stressed in the last 3 weeks then I was in the last 6 months

#to cut the long story short my mom had to sell the old house cuz her broke ass couldnt afford to keep it up #eventho it is a whole ass hoarders house and was in shambles with a flooded basement a collapsing ceiling in at least 2 rooms plus mold #and the stench a dirt and dog piss and shit all over the floor really made it worse then it was #but yeah so shes been staying with me and my grandma and its been awful #she hasnt been taking any of the medicine the doctors gave her when she snapped and started a fight and also started screaming at neighbour #so shes been terrorizing us here while the house has become her second hoarders den since she dragged so much crap here #my backyard side entrance and front porch are full of her shit and my grandma hates it since she can barely step into the house #so since she kept looking for places way out of her budget i had to go do house hunting since my useless sister is busy getting lit again #so ive been showing her shit in her price range that was under 420k cuz im not a moron who looks at 800k homes when i have 570k #and each time she has a new complaint saying its too expenive or its too small or its too old when she said she wants to do renovations #but shes saying she wants to renovate a newly renovated place instead of an old one #so i just showed her a house near my sisters uni and she liked the inside & backyard but she complained that 400k for newly renovated 3 bed #that is literally a 9 minute drive from my sisters uni is too expensive when shes the one who was looking at an old ass unrenovated bungalo #that is a street over from us that is 800k and she says it looks like garbage cuz an old lady previously owned it before dying #like no shit it looks old cuz older people lived those decades and like it and she just keeps doing her bullshit again & again #cuz when i tell you her mind is gone i mean it is GONE and she starts up all these wild stories to just explain some shit #like something goes missing? the neighbours are hungarian and stole it and left the hoard of junk in her old house #she has more stupid stories to harass and stress us out with but if im gonna share that ill have to write a book about it cuz fuck #and you know its bad when no one else can stand being in any contact with her cuz she starts screaming at people about it #so the only one who even likes her anymore is my sister and thats cuz shes deep in denial about just how insane she is & how abusive she is #so yeah i need some stress relief help that maybe isnt constantly hitting up maryjane cuz i dont do weed often especially since shes here #cuz weed 'burns your brain & makes you crazy like this' when shes the only one whos ever infuriated me to astronimical levels #i know retail therapy helped before she came here but i dont want to keep spending money i dont really have #it would be great tho but shes refusing to give me the 70k she said was mine from the house sale so i can cut her out for good

[tecchan]

Good evening to everyone except the person who decided to have Haru disappear from the home screen after finishing the game

#no thank you!!! #that shit hurted #i actually teared up #he waved goodbye then faded away :(((( #i'm really stupid so kouichi's route left me more confused than anything #aniki is alive apparently??? #i feel bad for bunbun #i hated him at first because journalists are usually scum but then he grew on me #he's the sad wet cat of the game #ryu's route was my least favourite‚ then kouichi's‚ hiroyuki's and maki's is my fav #idk what my problem is with stuck up dudes with glasses who lost their younger sister to sex trafficking #first fujieda now ryu #kouichi's route had some great moments but the final rape scene + the fact kouichi thought haru might be his son the whole time is kinda... #not my cup of tea #also kouichi's son was kidnapped when he was 6‚ that's more than old enough to have like‚ recognizable facial features?? #how can he not know for sure haru's definitely not his son? #on paper hiroyuki's route seems like it would be my least favourite #two guys the same age who immediately get along with the bottom being a virgin blablabla #sounds boring when put like that but they turned out to be extremely cute and uuuh piyoshi has a really cute voice #boy was i glad to be home alone when playing his route because that guy is LOUD #i'm at 97% and am missing quite a few CGs so i'll go through it again then once i'm done‚ time for lkyt i guess #also want to go back to room n.9 real quick because i don't think i got 100% on it either

[cephalonheadquarters]

internet safety is a wonderful thing and so important and i love being safe online soooooo much

#do schools even teach internet safety anymore? i learned it in like elementary school #since i have two younger brothers 10 & 8 they have access to the internet and i guess i get a little bossy but i try to make sure theyre #being safe... if theyre able to talk to people i tell them theyre not old enough to do that yet..! the 10 yr old has a scratch account and #while scratch is fine i dont like that he can comment and read comments no matter how safe the site is #internet safety is so fucking important to me im dead serious #it makes me really sad to see a lot of young kids able to communicate with strangers Even if its safe! Theres always a risk #Like i met someone who was 9 on discord a while ago. ☹️ I told them they shouldnt be on it but i dont think they listened to me anyway #To be honest #Idk what the right age is to have full access to the internet. 13 feels too early but 16 feels too late but idk abt 14 and 15. ig 15..?? #Id say it depends on just being a teen and how mature you are but idk #I dont think it really can be helped if you have access to the internet #I just hope kids are aware of the good and the bad and how to navigate the internet!! Because its really scary! #If you say you hate kids i dont trust you. if you make fun of kids (in a mean spirited way basically bullying) i dont trust you. #I would love to be able to help and be friends with kids so that they know better but unfortunately thats not always going to be possible #Its 3 40 am bye #Oh and i fucking hate snapchat and instagram and omegle. Genuine burning hatred for those stupid things fuck them #Even tiktok is better than those. And i dont even like tiktok

[rosykims]

ok what if i made the hardest of hard saves and then played theirinfall redoubt for a laugh. what then

#tay plays dai #who could realistically stop me #man the way ive played inquisition like . at LEAST 9 times at the point and ive yet to ever do that mission #like i dont even know what happens lol. something abt some demon ? cole is there ? #i know more context from asunder than i do from actual gameplay fgkjhfgjk #tbf when i was first figuring ashara out i did consider making her side w the templars #despite being a mage. she doesnt rly hate templars she just thinks theyre stupid and annoying and they give her the ick #but idk. she will always prioritize physical troops over like. her spy network or connections so soldiers seems like something she'd want #also bc actually nullifying the breach makes more sense to her than overcharging it #BUT at the end of the day shes vehemently team mage rights/circle abolition so redcliffe it was #but. im gonna fuck around this playthru anyway i think <3 teehee !

[theood]

Haha lol I love going downstairs and getting yelled at every single time because the dogs go fucking crazy when I come down the steps and I can't do anything to fix that and it makes me want to die because I hate getting yelled at and I can't fix anyfhing and I can't stop the dogs from going fucking ballistic because I chose to go downstairs but god every single fucking bit of progress I makw goes doen the drain every single day amd i might as well just get back into one meal a day and maybe a drink a day because that minimizes the amount of times.im.down there amd minimizes ehen I'm getting yellwd at

#elias.zip #the dogs are too reactive to us coming downstairs but yelling isn't helping. i dont know how to stop that. its annoying sure but jsut fuckin #live with it i guess. youre the stupid fucking idiots who chose this house with none of its soundproofing and your dogs who lived in a trail #er with you for fucking years what do you expect i dont know stop yelling at me!!! stop yelling at me!!!! im small and little and i dont #like it. i don't like when adults raise their voices i don't like the sound of angry yelling i hate being here. im never going to grow up. #im goingto be 9 and trapped in my room forever and a brat and waste of space and a mistake and unplanned and a burden. i wish we never fuck #ing moved in with them. they should've stayed in Florida. They should've chose another place. i hatw it here i hate them. go live with my mo #ms sister or something leave us. i fucking hate everything. i hate living. i hate living here. never going to fucking escape bc im poor and #stupid and i should've gone to university and just left everyone and be forgtten about. im never going to make enough to save myself. i sho #uld just give up because nothing good ever fucking happens. everyone's going to be disappointed in me no matter what i do I can't ever #fucking make anyone in my family like me. im always lying. #whats the point anymore! i dont fucking know.

[aftermathing]

So much mental health advice is like "ask for help!! Don't be afraid to rely on your friends and family to get you through this!!" girl what if i do not have friends or family*

#Also nobody has ever 'bottled up' their emotions that's just not a thing #*Family abusive and hates me #Also every time I ask for help I get ignored or people get uncomfortable and leave me forever!!!!! #I don't ask for much!!! Just like!!! Be patient and don't abandon me for being sick!!! #Everyone who was suicidal and got better only got better because their friends and family cared about them and helped them :(( #Got them medicine or hrt or helped them clean their room or just gave them affection and a safe place :(( #And they're like 'just ask for help :))' :(( girl................. #You only got T because you tried to kill yourself do you know what I got for trying to kill myself. Nothing because no one fucking knows #One time at age like 9 I cut myself and my mom said 'that better be a cat scratch or I'm beating your worthless ass' #Sooooo <3<3<3 #I stopped because cutting is useless and I got yelled at but mostly it's stupid and if you actively do it fucking stop #There is no reason for that shit ever #'I treat you too nice for you to be suicidal' obviously not girl I was nine wanting to die!!!!!

[youngpettyqueen]

Episode 8 specifically fills me with such a rage. the absolute disrespect to Poe's character. he has one good scene right at the beginning and after that they completely slander him. like I cannot make myself enjoy Holdo because she literally only exists to make him look like a hotheaded idiot. you dont even need to get me started on anything else wrong with this movie I hate it just for what they do to Poe

#once again not putting this in the tags cause I am being a hater #I won't be hate posting all through these I promise #I do not rewatch Episodes 8 and 9 for this very reason I cannot fucking deal with them #Episode 9 is at least laughably stupid for the most part #Episode 8 is a crime

[ocdhuacheng]

I feel like a greedy asshole saying this but I hate sharing work with other interns I wish you would just go away I want the advisor and the project all to myself

#and because of work and the distance I have to travel for this (work and the internship are both an hour from my house in opposite direction #*s) #there are very few days I can come in for the internship so I always get like last dibs on getting to do shit #like personally I have nothing against this other girl but also. I hate her #I know it’s stupid and bitchy and irrational but I just. hate sharing projects I need to do everything myself #like I know I shouldn’t resent her but I do #.txt #like I just got word that we have equipment that’s ready to be installed #and I don’t want to miss installing it #but I have work 9-5 tomorrow + an hour driving each way #AND the same on Friday #+ another hour at least to drive to the intern place #but I don’t have to go to work on Saturday until evening #so Friday would be the best for me #but of COURSE this chick can only do it Thursday #sorry. screw you #I hate being so petty about this but like move the fuck over #also it’s like cooking with someone else in the kitchen like get the fuck OUT #Like I want to hog all the work to myself. Would it have killed you to not be available Thursday

[supercantaloupe]

bro i am straight up not having a good time

#sasha speaks #i wanna talk about me #too many emails. can't bring myself to answer any of them #rehearsal and class back to back tonight until 9:15. the only food i can bring w me is some matzo (gross) and pb #we have another debate in class tonight too. i hate them. i'm so bad at talking against a timer. i have too much to say girl #i still have to make my fucking invites for my recital and i still don't even know who my second is for the trio #i have to write still a full draft of my research paper for friday #and my french teacher won't email me back abt our homework #i'm so burntout. i'm so tired. i feel like i can barely get anything done #and the stupid rental co for my new appartment keeps being like 'give me the contact info for your last landlord' #and i've already told them like three times i don't HAVE a previous landlord. i can give you the phone number for the student housing office #but that's it. but they're still emailing me back like 'okay well what is the contact info for your landlord' M8 I DON'T HAVE ONE

[totopopopo]

Feeling terrible as usual

#it’s 4am I haven’t gone to bed yet I’ve just wasted another night doing absolutely nothing #I have a job interview at 9am tomorrow #possibly #I don’t actually know if I do! the lady didn’t confirm and I wasn’t sent a link but it was suggested #I don’t even want this stupid job #I don’t even want a JOB I don’t want a job I don’t want to fucking. enter spreadsheets for 9 hours a day every day of the week for the next #two years!!!!!!!!!! I don’t WANT that!!!!!!! #I want to write !!!!! I want to create I want to work on my own projects I want to spend time with my friends I want to take classes !!!!!!! #but now I’m a stupid adult or whatever I need a fucking job because I need fucking money because I need to be able to pay rent #I hate it!!!!!! I hate this !!!!!!!!!!! I hate being TRAPPED in this stupid fucking world !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and I don’t even know if I have this stupid job interview at 9am but I should wake up at 8 anyways just in case AND I have to spend the day #trekking into deeper Brooklyn to feed some cats and a gecko and that will take hours #and I have to start packing bc I move like next week which I can’t even think about without feeling nauseous #and I don’t even know where to start w that #and i wanted to actually get writing done to enter a stupid thing. but the deadline for that is way too soon and I don’t have time to write #on top of moving and job stuff. I don’t have time to do the one thing I want to do full time because I can’t fucking afford it. #and also I want to do art really bad but again. my stupid iPad is broken so I literally can’t. #so I’ve just been awake for NO REASON and it’s 4am!!!!!!!! and I have NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT!!!!!!! and I have to wake up in 4 hours!!!!!!!! #and I’m wasting the few days I have left here doing NOTHING THAT I WANT TO BE DOING #not that there’s even anything I WANt to do because EVERYTHING is fucking horrible and everything I do no matter what it is #it’s a fucking waste of time. #I am wasting time my life is a fucking waste of time #also I should PROBABLY talk to someone abt how I’ve been experiencing. more weird psychosis type bullshit recently !!!!!! #but ‘someone’ would be a doctor and I don’t HAVE one of those despite the fact that I’ve been TRYING TO GET ONE FOR FOUR MONTHS #they’re just all busy!!! and either aren’t taking new clients or don’t take insurance !!!!!!!!!!! sooooooooooooooooo #but it doesn’t even matter because even if I were medicated even if I were on anti depressants even if I werent experiencing weird delusions #it STILL wouldn’t be fine. I’d still have to waste my life doing a job I don’t want to be doing to afford to live in an apartment. I’d still #be trapped in a fucking capitalist hellscape. the world would still be ending. nothing would be fine. no matter what I do life is still bad. #like that’s what’s so depressing is the issue isn’t my brain it’s not me it’s the WORLD and that’s something that can’t be cured that means #I’ll feel like this forever and nothing can change that no amount of meds no nothing will change the fact that life is fucking terrible