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abelunwilling · 2 years

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kayama shuuji did several things wrong, BUT –

or, “i can’t believe how many people missed the point of this character”

We need to talk about Kayama Shuuji.

To say that Shuuji is a controversial character is putting it... mildly, to say the least. Some of the first posts I saw in this fandom were some pretty visceral reactions to Shuuji’s abuse of Lopmon, his grisly fate in most routes and his character in general. However, I can’t help but feel like a lot of the criticism of this character is borne of kneejerk discomfort rather than a fair or genuine effort to understand him. Of course, you’re completely welcome to like or dislike any character for even the most arbitrary reasons--I just personally feel that there is much more to Shuuji than many care to explore.

So... what is going on here?

( This meta post contains spoilers for Digimon Survive.

TW: heavy discussion of self-harm, suicidal ideation and abuse )

Shuuji’s relationship with his family

Firstly, we should consider that the only information we have about Shuuji’s family comes from a biased source: Shuuji himself. His family does not physically appear in the story of Survive; rather, he tells the other characters about them, and they feature in a long nightmare sequence at the beginning of part 5. This nightmare is incredibly loaded–watch it again if you need a refresher. It is evidently based on an actual memory which provides important context for this complicated relationship. Let’s go through the major beats.

Shuuji’s father accuses Shuuji of hating him, which Shuuji desperately denies. His father counters that if Shuuji didn’t hate him, then he would “demonstrate the ability expected of a Kayama boy”.

Shuuji’s brother interjects, telling Shuuji not to bother; he’ll just work hard enough for both of them.

Shuuji’s father asks why he’s giving up, and suggests Shuuji isn’t really his son. Shuuji immediately starts trying to appease him; his father is unresponsive.

Shuuji lashes out, accusing his family of not understanding him. He then has a few lines aside to himself which are quite interesting, including: “From the start, I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t do it...” (Put a pin in this, we’ll come back to it.)

Panicking, Shuuji starts simply pleading not to be abandoned.

Even the most surface-level read of the text here is pretty cut and dry: Shuuji is traumatized enough by his relationship with his family to be having nightmares about them, and his father (if not the entire family) is incredibly emotionally abusive. If we assume the wording used in the dream is exactly as it was in the real conversation, then the phrasing Shuuji’s dad uses here is extremely calculated. Shuuji’s failures aren’t just bad because he failed; they’re bad because they mean he hates his father. This deliberately emotive language paints Shuuji in the role of an aggressor in a scenario where he is actually the victim.

Perhaps because of conversations like this, Shuuji does not appear to recognise that he is being abused; directly after waking from the nightmare he even says that his dad “had to” abandon him. First of all, this establishes that, at best, he simply feels abandoned by his family–but, at worst, he may have actually been literally disowned or otherwise cut off from them. Second and more crushingly, he seems to actually believe that abandonment is a proportionate and justified response to his perceived inability to succeed.

We don’t really know enough about Shuuji’s brother to make any real judgment on him; Shuuji calls him “an incredible person” but does so in relation to his own poor self-esteem (“much better than me”, he says), and in his Recollection anticipates being mocked by him. His brother’s only line in the nightmare–offering to “work hard enough for both of [us]”–is interesting, though. The most charitable read could suggest he is trying to defuse the situation but it seems slightly more likely that he’s simply validating his father’s lack of confidence in Shuuji. This is common in families where only one child is abused by a parent or parents; siblings sometimes become involved–or at least complicit–in the abuse, so as to protect themselves.

A quick note: Digimon Survive on its own can make it seem as if maybe Shuuji is doing badly academically, and that’s why his father is angry with him. However, we now have the additional context of the Recollection stories (translated here) which explain that he isn’t just a good student; he’s actually ranked first in his class for grades (@digital-survivor has made an excellent post explaining why this is so significant.)

If he’s doing so well academically, then although grades and college entry are what Shuuji often refers to when he’s talking about living up to his father’s standards, it’s more likely that the problems between him and his father are based around Shuuji’s personality and the harsh style of leadership his father expects him to demonstrate.

Essentially, Shuuji just isn’t like the rest of his family, and they are trying to force him into their mold. And when it comes to Shuuji's own feelings, think back to: “From the start, I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t do it...”

It's not just that Shuuji is struggling to meet his family’s expectations; he literally doesn’t want to do the things they’re asking, and doesn't think they're even possible for him. But, by his own admission, Shuuji is obsessed with his father’s approval, despite clearly believing–and basically being told–that he can never actually get it without compromising his own identity. Either way, it’s clear that his father has incredible power over him, and wields that power cruelly.

Shuuji’s trauma response

We can see hints of Shuuji’s troubled mental state pretty much from the outset. From the top of the game he’s established as a somewhat awkward, bossy person, who seems socially isolated; he doesn’t appear to have existing bonds with any of the other campers, and you can even find some NPCs making fun of him in the prologue chapter.

Once in the other world, besides a (frankly normal) level of distress and anxiety in their newfound situation, it also becomes apparent that Shuuji has a lot more going on. He has an almost compulsive need to feel independent, as he becomes strangely uncomfortable and upset when others offer him help. He also clearly has issues with control; although it’s spurred in part by the other kids looking to him as the eldest, Shuuji frequently tries to take control of situations. He’s usually outvoted; however, while he often folds oddly quickly (interestingly, you see him stutter a lot in these instances, a characteristic Lopmon shares), later he more consistently doubles down and lashes out verbally at others when they don’t listen to him.

His bossiness with the others and his harshness with Lopmon (we’re getting there, don’t worry) is also easily associated with his desire to please and emulate his father. This is common in abused children, who often try to appease their abuser by acting in whatever way they think is least likely to result in further aggression, even when they aren’t there.

In case that was too lowkey, you see Shuuji doing this overtly in the nightmare scene; notice that he is not actually arguing against the way he is being treated, but trying to convince his father that he will behave in the way he wants. The only moment in which he expresses frustration (“you don’t understand me”) is not responded to by the other characters in the dream, suggesting that it’s a feeling he has not actually voiced. (In the true route, Shuuji says that his family has never really had a direct conversation with each other, which would support this.)

At this point it’s also worth saying that not everyone’s trauma response is good, healthy or rational. It would be nice to believe that all victims of abuse simply cry quietly in the corner now and then without otherwise causing trouble, and that may be true for some. However, for many survivors it is not that simple, especially if they have avoided treating or even acknowledging their trauma for some time.

Besides fear and sadness, many survivors may also feel anger; towards their abuser, towards their own powerlessness or even toward people/things that seemingly have nothing to do with the trauma. They may struggle to trust others or form healthy relationships. They may act in ways others consider unusual or inappropriate. None of these things make them less worthy of empathy or compassion.

However: when people cope with abuse–or any other kind of trauma–by perpetuating it on others, that’s where it gets sticky. So, let’s address the bunny in the room.

What is going on with Lopmon?

I’d like to first draw your attention to Shuuji’s treatment of the other characters–including the other Digimon–besides Lopmon. He does have a tendency to be bossy, but this is not exactly inappropriate given the situation; he’s the oldest of all the Survive kids, and the others specifically look to him for guidance (even if they often disagree with it).

Even Shuuji’s official bio describes him as "gentle and peaceful”. Significantly, Shuuji is also specifically shown soothing others, even when he himself is distressed. Of particular note is the fact that, after Ryo’s death, it’s Shuuji who calms the group down and takes them back to the old school; right after, he also talks Kaito out of immediately going after Miu.

At his rock-bottom worst, when Arukenimon tempts him with the promise of the group going home in exchange for one child sacrifice, Shuuji still offers himself with very little hesitation to spare the others–he does panic when it comes to sealing the deal, but he still doesn’t throw any of his friends under the bus. Although the other kids are pretty frustrated with him at this point, after he dies they’re quick to note that for all his shortcomings, Shuuji always had the team's safety in mind. So. What is it about Lopmon?

When it comes to Shuuji’s relationship with Lopmon, there is an additional layer of nuance to be considered, beyond even “they are two separate characters in a piece of media”. Digimon Survive operates with the idea that each partner Digimon is literally a part of their fated child’s soul, a concept that was also true for the original Digimon Adventure anime and its sequel.

At a glance, Lopmon and Shuuji might not seem particularly similar. However, they actually share several notable qualities. Like Shuuji, Lopmon dislikes fighting and conflict in general (in group discussions, Shuuji almost always advocates diplomacy or retreat instead of fighting). He’s also determined to contribute and be of use to those he cares about, and prefers to do so without help from others. Most significantly, Lopmon has a strong desire for approval and praise–and sadly, like Shuuji, it is frequently to his detriment.

But Lopmon also embodies several of Shuuji’s less obvious qualities–ones that are less obvious specifically because Shuuji is trying to suppress them.

Lopmon is very visibly sensitive, often crying, stuttering or trailing off when he’s emotionally affected. He has trouble asserting himself, and can be clumsy and slightly awkward. Another quality of Lopmon’s that’s relevant to Shuuji is that he is not very good at articulating his feelings. When Takuma finally decides to mediate between the two, Lopmon only manages to say that he “needs to be with him” but can’t express why, leaving both him and Shuuji frustrated.

Lopmon’s vulnerability mimics Shuuji's own internal state; his innocent but deeply wounded inner child, who has been made to feel worthless through emotional abuse. In short, Shuuji doesn’t like Lopmon because Shuuji doesn’t like Shuuji, and is specifically cruel to him in ways he is also cruel to himself.

Most interestingly for these two, the creators of the game stated they would use the “Digimon are part of a person’s soul” concept to explore darker themes, with Producer Habu giving the specific example in a stream that “hurting your Digimon is a form of self-harm”. This suggests that the intention of the creators is, in presenting Shuuji and Lopmon’s relationship, not just to show the cycle of abuse that Shuuji is part of but to metaphorically depict a person struggling with self-harm.

Shuuji & Lopmon as a self-harm metaphor

Shuuji calls Lopmon things like lazy, useless, stupid–words that, either directly or by implication, have also likely been used against him by his family. He rejects Lopmon’s efforts to bond with or please him and holds him to unrealistic and unfair standards, much as his father does with him. Interestingly, Shuuji directly compares himself to Lopmon right after having the nightmare about his father, saying that Lopmon is “like he was” back when his father “chewed [him] out and had to abandon [him]”.

This wording is important. Shuuji still believes himself to be the problem in his family situation and that his father’s harsh methods are justified–so he uses them on Lopmon, in whom he sees his weaknesses reflected, not only to punish him but to try to “fix” him. However, much as Lopmon functions symbolically as an extension of Shuuji, he is still technically a separate person. Thus, by forcing Lopmon to be held to these same unattainable standards, Shuuji simultaneously perpetuates the cycle of abuse in two ways; by revictimising himself, and by inflicting abuse on another vulnerable person.

You can see this in action when Takuma finally convinces Shuuji to “teach” Lopmon. Shuuji responds by trying to make Lopmon do muscle training like push-ups, which turn out to be physically–perhaps even anatomically–impossible for him. Takuma points out that this isn’t how Digimon gain strength, and Shuuji immediately becomes angry and defensive.

But the things Shuuji’s father expects of him are similarly unachievable; Shuuji literally can’t get results by trying to be the harsh disciplinarian his father wants, because he just isn't one. Like his father, he is asking things of Lopmon that fundamentally contradict who Lopmon is as an individual.

Physical abuse is a whole other issue–but it’s important to note that Shuuji’s abuse of Lopmon does not become physical until he reaches his absolute lowest point; he’s literally been mentally tortured, and has become completely desperate and delusional.

It is interesting that right as Shuuji crosses the line to physically harming Lopmon–metaphorically, escalating from negative self-talk to physical self-harm–Wendimon appears, initially appearing to help Shuuji only to ultimately kill him. This could be considered a grim allegory for how self-harm, though it may seem to provide temporary relief, is a dangerous and unreliable coping mechanism. Furthermore, it shows that Lopmon is even more like Shuuji than we’ve realised up to this point; a gentle person who can nonetheless be driven to great cruelty under harsh enough conditions.

It also doesn’t occur until right after he offers himself to die for the others.This is not purely a noble move–Arukenimon points out, probably correctly, that Shuuji is terrified and wants his suffering to be over. Other dialogue during the Wendimon fight suggests that Shuuji also suffered from suicidal thoughts, stating that he doesn’t deserve to live, though we don’t know if they are recent or if he has harbored them for some time.

Shuuji has some really interesting dialogue in this sequence; he actually expresses pride in Lopmon for the first time upon seeing how powerful he is, and expresses a desire to use that power against people who have hurt him–specifically including his family. This moment is not about Shuuji becoming powerful, though–rather, it shows us how powerless he is, and how desperate he is to have some sort of strength to assert himself.

This act of destruction also unifies Shuuji and Lopmon for the first time; not through acceptance and trust but through pain and suffering. After eating Shuuji, Wendimon speaks with the voices of both characters as it fights the others, crying openly as it expresses their agony. And their most despairing thoughts are also the same; guilt over their actions, despairing over what they could have done instead, as well as hatred toward themselves.

It gets better (thanks Ryo!)

I know this has been really heavy so far... so let’s talk about the true route for a little bit.

Ryo is the character who Shuuji’s fate hinges on, and this makes good sense for a few reasons. Firstly, in all but the true route, Ryo’s death is a major factor in Shuuji’s own downward spiral; he feels incredibly guilty for failing to protect him, which you do see him attempting several times, trying to calm Ryo and keep him with the group. It’s not the only reason he breaks down, but it’s an important trigger.

However, in the true route, Ryo’s survival of the bridge incident gives us a chance to see one of his most important and positive qualities: he’s very observant. In the waterway incident, this really shines through; not only does he escape Arukenimon’s illusions the fastest, he’s not affected by them at all. In similar fashion, he’s able to analyse the situation with Shuuji in ways the others can’t; by immediately drawing parallels between Shuuji’s delusional behavior and his own in the past, Ryo is the only one capable of identifying both the problem and the solution.

The problem? Shuuji is traumatized, and the enemy is exploiting that. Not only does Ryo state this directly, he even admonishes the others for not being more sensitive to it. The solution? It’s a little bit weirder, but I’ll explain why I think it’s effective.

Punching Shuuji–while not the most elegant response–is the first step in eliciting a physical reaction that unifies him with Lopmon in that moment. Notice that Shuuji instantly loses his aggression after Ryo does this; not only that, but (though I’m not sure if this carries over in the original Japanese or other locations) even his speech patterns almost immediately start to mimic Lopmon’s own.

The way Ryo calls him out verbally also unifies Shuuji with Lopmon. He points out the lengths to which Lopmon has gone for him even though Shuuji never appreciated it, and that harming him is cruel and unfair–though unknowingly, he’s also directly summarized Shuuji’s relationship with his father. It’s entirely possible that Shuuji has never considered this with regard to his own situation, not just Lopmon’s, and Ryo’s words give a whole new context to the way he has been taught to view the world.

Then Ryo does something very important: he tells Shuuji that he has friends who will support him through what’s happening right now. He holds him accountable, but he also makes it clear that he will still be helped and cared for.

Following this, Shuuji’s apology to Lopmon is genuine, emotional and incredibly humble; and this time around, Lopmon’s evolution into Turuiemon is triggered by empathy, not rage. @digital-survivor (again, haha) has made a great post about how Lopmon’s evo line in the true route represents Shuuji’s positive character development should he let go of his need to please his father and trust in his own decisions. I wholeheartedly agree with this post so I will not analyse these scenes too much further, but I will add the following:

The Turuiemon evolution scene is particularly significant because it signifies the turning point not just for Shuuji's relationship with Lopmon, but his relationship with himself. From that moment on, when he praises or validates Lopmon, he’s also praising and validating the parts of himself that he previously saw as weak or useless, slowly healing the damage that has inflicted on him over the years. One of the things he says to Lopmon during his apology is “I have to heal you”; and, yes, he does need to make up for the things he’s done to Lopmon! But Shuuji also needs to heal, and to show the same patience and gentleness to himself that he is willing to show others.

However, the Cherubimon evolution scene is the one I really want to focus on because, besides being a culmination of Shuuji’s gradually increasing self-worth–and, of course, his bond with Lopmon–it is also a direct inversion of the Wendimon evolution scene.

As I mentioned earlier, the Wendimon evolution occurs right after Shuuji offers himself to Arukenimon as a sacrifice to save his friends. In this moment Shuuji’s motivation is not pure; he does want to save his friends, but he’s also desperate, miserable and wants his pain to end. The way he says it–“it should be me”–also indicates he feels it’s the ‘correct’ option that he is obligated to choose, not something he is fully willing to do.

Wendimon's evolution happens only because Shuuji forces it to through abuse; and, though Wendimon is incredibly powerful, this power cannot be controlled and backfires horribly, symbolizing Shuuji's self-destruction.

The Cherubimon evolution happens in a similar (though not quite as high-stakes) situation; Shuuji and Lopmon are facing off against a powerful enemy, and Shuuji tells Takuma to leave them and get the others, despite knowing they might not make it. In this instance Shuuji is not acting out of fear or panic; he’s assessed the situation and consciously chosen to shield the others, because he truly believes it’s the right thing to do.

In this instance, Cherubimon's evolution is triggered through Shuuji's conviction and his deep bond with Lopmon, their combined power manifesting exactly as Shuuji intends it to–symbolizing his self-acceptance.

“The Discourse”

Since the original anime, Digimon has always–in my opinion–tended to depict children’s problems with honesty and compassion. Digimon Survive is, at least as far as I know, far darker in tone than any other piece of Digimon media to date, and so it’s to be expected that it would deal with more complex issues. Parental abuse isn’t the only heavy hitter in the main cast’s trauma bag; it also addresses possibly terminal illness and even the stalking/sexual harrassment of a very young child.

Frankly, I commend this game for depicting Shuuji’s trauma in such an unflinching way, showing both the darkest possible outcome as well as a more hopeful path. If it makes you uncomfortable, then that’s probably exactly what the writers had in mind. Child abuse–mental, physical, anything–is a terribly painful subject, and the game is very specific and intentional in showing why Shuuji is the way he is. I think it’s also significant that, even outside the true route, it’s very clear that Takuma and the other characters don’t condemn Shuuji as a bad person who deserved his fate–they simply regret not having the means to help him.

As I said earlier, while of course not all victims of abuse will express abusive, or even just misguided behavior themselves, it is important to recognise that some might. To put it bluntly: if you are willing to retract support for abuse victims because they have made mistakes–especially children, making mistakes that are direct results of how their abuse has mentally impacted them–then I would question if you support them at all. No abuse victim–no person–is perfect, and while of course all people should be accountable for their mistakes, this doesn’t mean they should not also receive support for their problems.

Of course, Shuuji is a fictional character, and so to dislike him is not necessarily reflective of how one feels about real children in his situation. But the fandom response to this character has been so aggressive and unsympathetic that it’s difficult not to wonder if maybe people just really didn’t understand the point of him. In any other piece of media, it’s hard to believe an abused child with a self-harm problem would be judged as harshly.

In fact, even within the Digimon franchise, Ken from 02, whose physical abuse of his partner Wormmon is much more regular and pronounced (people like to say the difference is Ken’s actions are influenced by external forces–actually, so are Shuuji’s) is a fan-favorite. Why is that? Why are people so quick to say that Shuuji “deserves” to suffer, while Ken is generally regarded as having one of the best redemption arcs in the fandom–when the situation is actually not that different? Is it because Lopmon is a cute bunny and Wormmon is an icky bug? Is it because our attitude to consuming media with “problematic” characters has simply changed over time?

Furthermore, what exactly would Shuuji have to do to “earn” his happy ending in the true route? He already apologizes, and immediately modifies his behavior toward Lopmon once it’s fully addressed. He continues to feel guilty for it, right up into the later parts of the game–but even when he brings this up (which is rarely) he never makes it about him. If you want him to have some sort of external punishment, Ryo did tell him off after punching him in the face–and if that’s not good enough, he literally dies painfully in the event that nobody is there to do just that.

The narrative does not condone his actions, nor are they without consequence. So the question is really: exactly how much more do you want him to suffer? And why, when the game has already shown you that suffering more will not fix his behavior or save Lopmon? I think it is important to ask ourselves these questions, especially because, if anything, the entire message of the true route is that by making an effort to empathize with others–including those who have done wrong and seem unreachable–we may be able to help not just them, but the community or even the world as a whole.

If you still don’t like Shuuji, that’s fine; again, he’s not a real person, and anyone is free to think whatever they like. If his actions disgust you and you can’t get past it or just generally hate his vibes, that’s none of my business.

But I think for many people, seeing Shuuji and Lopmon’s story turn from a cautionary tale of self-loathing to one of redemption through self-acceptance is a genuine source of comfort and hope.

In short, it’s a shame to write off this character at his worst, without giving him a chance at his best.

And, for real, fuck Shuuji’s dad.

#digimon survive #digimon meta #shuuji kayama #lopmon #the trigger warnings are there for a reason #alternate silly title:#'if u hate me at my moral/wrathful/harmony route u don't deserve me at my true route'#if i cannot be this kid's new and better dad i will settle for being his fandom attorney #EDIT: something weird happened to this post and deleted some paragraphs/took others out of order #i think i've fixed it now but lmk if you see anything off!

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ozlices · 9 months

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about kanna's route vs shin's route

maybe im just biased, but kanna's route has always felt... off to me. and not in the ways people usually talk about.

hear me out. idk if much of this will make sense, but. im throwing out Thoughts and Feelings, ok. (under a cut bc this winded up being v long. adhd infodumping abt a hyperfixation at its finest)

when it comes to people discussing kanna's route, and preferring shin's over it, they usually refer to kanna's route as "it feels too good to be true. it's too happy" and, like, it does have a very distinctly hopeful tone to it, but i wouldn't call shin's route hopeless in comparison.

obviously, much more drama and hardship happens in shin's route that is exclusive to his route. but, like... he isn't involved with them directly.

"oh but joe's ai being corrupted is his doing" ok, but... is that Actually, blatantly confirmed? no.

it is very suspicious to me that in chapter 2, it is shown that the game masters are willing to corrupt ai of deceased characters to fuck with the cast. they literally did it with mishima's ai, and shin went out of his way to ensure that ai was taken down.

i think his "final gift" in kanna's route was finalizing his decorruption of joe's ai, and that joe's ai was made by the game masters specifically to fuck with sara. because they are aware that joe is sara's anchor. quite literally. he anchors her in reality, and keeps her from leaning into her malicious side. that is why he was the sacrifice in the first chapter. he had to be sure to be the first one to die, so they could ensure sara could be skewed into her ""true self"".

it is very possible that they made joe's ai with the intent of manipulating sara. and, what better way to use that than to frame shin? something that comes with the added bonus of causing a rift within the group, because everyone would default to believing it was him who did it as revenge for kanna, or revenge for himself should he have been voted out.

he and sara already had tension between each other. nobody would've questioned it, nor would his defenses for himself have mattered.

he probably knew that all along. knew that plan all along, and in the route where kanna survives, i think he gave his "final gift" to sara on kanna's behalf. because he knew that kanna loved her. and he wanted to ensure she would be able to protect her in his stead at her full strength, with joe's legacy on her side.

meanwhile, in his own route, he has nothing to motivate him left. he has no reason to quell the tension he has with sara. he's not gonna do it for his own personal gain when he has so much self hatred. so, he doesn't. if he was the one who did it, i think he still would've gone back on it for kanna's legacy. but, if he wasn't the one who created it, he has nothing to atone for except knowing it existed and that's it.

as far as reko/alice's fate... he quite literally has absolutely nothing to do with their death at all. that is entirely a result of sara being successfully corrupted or swayed by successfully being forced to forget joe. shin didn't do that. he wasn't involved with it at all. nor was he present for any of it happening until it was all over.

that's not to say shin has never done anything wrong ever, because he has. but, i think trying to say shin's route is depressing or hopeless in comparison to kanna's when he isn't involved with the differences between them is... hm. hard to find the right word. but maybe those actions themselves just feel off to me.

so, then, all that being said, why does kanna's route feel off to me?

i've concluded, that given the tone of the game, the reason kanna's route feels off to me is that shin's route feels more realistic in this game's universe. and, in comparison, kanna's route doesn't necessarily feel unrealistic. it comes across as "...this is not how things are supposed to go/would go in this universe."

kanna's route comes across as a scenario the characters made up in their heads to cope. it is such a drastic tone shift from the rest of the game. and, it's not like everything is peachy in her route, either.

the dummy's fates are still the same, regardless of who you choose. it is only the humans who hang in the balance of your decision. isn't that weird? in a game where human lives being toyed with is the entire point, one person being chosen as the survivor in one chapter, can so starkly determine which other humans survive in the next?

it's suspicious to me.

and, it's even more odd given that shin directly has a connection with midori/sou, who is arguably the most vile enemy the group has faced thus far.

i highly doubt that with how openly midori has had a hand with so much of the game, that he would truly be satisfied with shin dying before at least getting to see him again. he's far too possessive to just be like "awe i woulda liked to kill him myself </3" and also not do everything in his power to make sure he can revenge him. or make the people who caused his death absolute hell.

but, when it comes to midori, not much changes in his personality between the routes. the only exclusive thing either route gets with his involvement is that only kanna's route gets the "shin was actually kanna's biological older brother" reveal because kanna finding out both of her older siblings that she looked up to died because of her is the closest midori can get to ruining her.

he doesn't really have to do anything like that with shin since he's already had his claws in him since shin was in high school. he knows exactly how to push him, and he does, but not in a way exclusive to him per se. the shin ai is a thing in both routes. that's probably the worst thing he does to shin that we actually see, and he does it to him whether he's there to see it or not.

i really wonder if kanna's route is going to be revealed as just another simulation. because there are so many things in it that felt so weird. i really felt like nobody was acting like themselves. including kanna.

her newfound confidence is sweet and all, but the kanna we see throughout the game would not have that shift that quickly. she was in absolute shambles over her sister. she and shin spent so much time together, i really cannot see her knowing he died for her to be spared and just... suddenly becoming shounen protag of the year, you know.

it feels off, and it feels like that's on purpose. and, with how your time to shine's happy routes always end with sara saying to delete it and restart it as many times as it takes... i wouldn't be surprised if that's foreshadowing for the main game's ending for kanna's route.

i think both routes will have a "true ending", but in vastly different reveals and ways. shin's connection to the person who literally brought everyone into the game is going to be important in his route, without a doubt.

kanna's route just feels like an opportunity to expose the full depths of the simulations, and just how deep they can get.

yeah. very scattered and rambly i am sorry for the HUGE post but. i had to get all this out. lmao.

#mine #yttd #yttd theory #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #long post #my theory #is this. even a theory. this is just me being a shin apologist BUT I FELT LIKE THIS EVEN WHEN I STILL HATED HIM #I WAS PLAYING KANNA'S ROUTE AND I WAS LIKE '.........WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING WEIRD WHAT IS THIS'#and then i was like 'no this literally doesn't feel real like it's so weird and off'#and then after playing your turn to shine this has been building and festering #until now it is 1 am and im like #'WAIT A MINUTE'#if im wrong u can all point and laugh to urselves not to my face bc im sensitive KJHTKJHRTJHTKE #but. something something kanna's route farce ending and shin's route true ending bc it's really the truth blah blah #my meta #only bc this is the closest ill get to writing one again probably

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