#I am alone in my dark room

[couch-house]

something thats been in my head for a long time abt vulnerability and comfort and echoes of the past

#shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #team dark #shth #sth #sonic the hedgehog #maria robotnik #fanart #id in alt text #dont tag this as ship idk why you would but pls dont #anyway hi the semester started and its kicking my ass immediately #threw the frog in the boiling water #ive wanted to do this for a long time tho so nows as good as any #something something reconciling 'i want x character to seek and receive comfort' #vs 'waht is reasonable comfort for him to seek?' #so he just doesnt like being alone sometimes. he used to sleep on her floor until she was like #'shadow knock it off and sleep in the bed i can make room' #she just throws her arm at him so he knows someones there. its plenty of comfort for him #anyway. shadow standing in the doorway at 2 am rouge i frew up

[gertritude]

Maybe I should finally make a tag for negative posts.... gert neg....

#i love complaining but also understand if people do not want to see said complaining. but 'negativr #*negative* sounds too boring... #i feel like whenever i complain it always reads like i am talking bitterly. alone in a dark room #when its more supposed to be me on a couch waving my hands around going 'oh come on!'

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Housemate is letting one of her rabbits walk around at night again :/

#girl he's cute but that means i gotta leave the lights on #i can guess she's not asleep because there's light in her room and her smart tv was still pinging my phone with the casting notif #but like. you can let your own pet rabbit wander around the house with your door closed! #he's your bunny! you didn't say anything about it! #not even talking about the risk for the lil guy because this is in spirit a student house #like i'm the only full time student but we're all at that student-ish age and living consequently #by which i mean there's lots of crap on the ground that doesn't get cleaned often #the bunny is not safe walking around. he isn't. also i keep almost tripping on him #and it stresses me the fuck out personally to have to keep the lights turned on all night across the house #just because jasper's out and rabbits don't have night vision and i don't want him to be alone in the dark #but also there are for real screws on the floor of the bathroom just hanging out #like. this is not a house that is safe for rabbits to roam free around. it just isn't #and she's filled the only shelf in the bathroom with more hygiene products than anyone else #and and and and. she's a shit housemate i won't miss her when i leave to go back home #man i can't wait for the day i am not sharing living space with her. i like my other housemates! #mostly because they pick up after themselves #and they're aware that when they make a mess they have to take care of it afterwards #she just kinda does stuff and then doesn't think about it #if she lived on her own i would not give a shit but it's impacting my day-to-day life as well! #ARGH #anyway #wow i have a ramble tag now #england adventures

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Hmmm :’)

#Wilbur’s new album is very feelsy #and quite sad #I now see why he felt the need to clarify that he was fine in a social media post 😭 #one song in particular really resonated… I’m gonna have to listen to it again #it Hit #y’know? #gah #the room is dark and quiet and I am alone with my thoughts #time for bed #my post

[there-will-be-a-way]

No sleep meds and quitting weed is a baaaad combination

#personal posts #I forgot that you get withdrawals from weed too 🙃 #i'm either sweaty or getting cold shivers or in a state of fear and agitation #or everything at once 🤷🏻‍♂️ #plus achey achey tummy #and chronic pain is back #bruuuuh #bruuuuuh #the stuff i smoked was too potent lmao #all day i was like what is this am i getting sick #then i remembered #also #yesterday i was eating potato salad at midnight alone in my room in complete darkness #as one does #when my roomir knocked on my door #drunk as fuck (friday is his party night) #to tell me he just randomly started crying #then ten minutes later i hear him yelling along to the music and laughing #bro is living life right #riding the waves of emotion

[elizabethrobertajones]

Absolutely nailing a Lae'zel befriending run and then forgot I had her selected and she turned around and swung and sliced Gale in half when I misclicked and I had to reload a bunch of progress :')

#On my main Dark Urge play I fell foul of the bug where she kills you then stays in camp #and even flirts with you #and generally acts like a member of the party #except she won't join the group and more #and then later just bugs out and wanders around alone in the wild #and will be like 'SIGH I NEED TO JOIN YOU I GUESS MAKE ROOM IN YOUR PARTY' #and then not do that #anyway moral of the story don't play Dark Urge and do weird things around Lae'zel #Durge was like 'oh Shadowheart will ress me anyway lmao' and just offered up their neck to resolve it #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #anyway I am not talking about my play really except silly things #but let me tell you I am obsessed with all 3 of the female companions for varied reasons #and Lae'zel is my One That Got Away who I am now persuing through the wilderness begging her to take me back #(if you hadn't guessed by knowing me I am just wildly gay for Karlach) #(and I just think Shadowheart is neat and also the most emotionally compelling) #(but they really are right when everyone and their cat tells you not to play Durge first and I did not know this but it IS true)

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

RATS are NOT your friends at night while you're reading a scary book

#so if you didnt know. rats are nocturnal #so its 2am where i am rn. my room is pitch dark because i have my blinds shut #and im reading a scary book. lots of spooky creatures and body horror and haunted shit #and my rats. are knocking shit over and chewing on things and generally being menaces #or theyll go silent for a minute abd i think theyre chilling and then all of a sudden theyll drop a toy or something #and scare the shit out of me #they use their spooky little hands to climb on the bars of their cage. and they use their spooky little teeth to aggressively eat kibble #and i gave them new toys today. these edible foraging toys that they love #but that means my room is full of the sound of pulling on bars. or the clicking of a water bottle. or chewing. so muvh chewing #and im reading about this dead body come back to life. with like all of her bones broken. killing a guy in the most grotesque way #and its altogether a very bad experience #i was bored for the first 70ish pages but then it got really fucking good and im hooked. but its also terrifying #the rats have gone silent but now my dog is shifting in his kennel outside my room #both are terrifying. why are my rats silent. why is my dog moving. when will he move next #these animals are harassing me. whats next. my sibling's rabbit is going to break in? in roommate's cat will start scratching at the door? #if my landlord is reading this then ignore all of these tags. we only have a dog sir. no rodents or felines or whatever tf a rabbit is here #ah the rats are making sounds again. terrible horrifying sounds #i have to piss but im scared to get out of bed. i think i live here now. in bed. i cant leave #on a somewhat related note i really want to make deviled eggs rn but i have roommates that are trying to sleep #on one hand i miss living alone. on the other it makes me feel safer to have two other people here with me #even if the threat is only my imagination #and my mischievous critters

[eluvixns]

gud morning i remembered to take my medication and have a plan for the day i will inevitably stray from bc i am unsupervised and left to follow the dopamine

#haylin's log #plans for today!! have some fun on here and pinterest this morning while i wake up #get a matcha latte and hope it doesnt betray me #work on trying to figure out how to set up my new printer??? this could be a dark souls boss in disguise at this point #i wanna get some college work done because i have four weeks before my finals deadline for one class and while i'm not worried i also know #i am a fucker for leaving it until the night before and you cant do that with art!! #ummm i wanna make dinner again but idk what #and then i'll prepare for college tomorrow i guess? and play coral island again :D #i am still sad after yesterday and this weekend but we'll bury that #i cancelled talking to my therapist bc i dont wanna talk today i dont wanna be verbal i would rather just #process quietly alone in my room #but yes anyway im gonna keep going through my likes and old blogs to stock my queue

[teddykaczynski]

#and alone in my room i am the last of a lost civilization / and i vanish into the dark and rise above my station #yiv

[medicinemane]

.

#one problem that's got me right now; aside from my stomach audibly churning wanting something more; is no one listens #people try to listen; and people think they listen; but they don't actually listen #there's always advice to be given; there's always their own perspective to be imposed on things #and everyone means well; everyone's real damn caring you know? that's part of why I don't just say this shit #but no one actually listens #...why is it that so often when I listen to people they're like 'Exactly!'; but when people listen to me it's like... you didn't hear me? #am I just pickier? or when I listen is it that I go broader strokes and avoid advice? #I'll often take a shot in the dark just based on looking inward and seeing how I'd be feeling in that situation #and... and this isn't a brag or something; but I can't remember the last time someone didn't feel validated by it #(which must be blindness on my part; I must have missed the times I made people feel more alone) #(I certainly don't always even manage to find something worthwhile to say; but when I do people seem validated) #but that's me turning inwards and just presenting how the situation makes me feel; and that making people feel seen #(like once again; not fucking bragging; but people will act like I saw right through them) #(when I was just tossing out something that I was only like 70% sure of and felt probably insulting or something) #but then I complain that people impose their own perspectives when talking to me... when me doing that seems to be what works #so why the fuck is that? is it that I more use myself as a thing to look at to relate to them while not really giving advice? #is my real complaint more like 'no one seems able to listen without trying to offer advice'? #also like... no one seems able to like... fucking trust me; or think for a second I might have lived this shit (possibly longer than them) #like... in a non emotional example: #once was talking about how I gotta heat my room with an electric radiator and the person starts telling me about how I gotta do it #like '3 ft away from any object' type advice and it's like... #I've been doing this for like 4 years; radiator sits about 6-8 inches from my bed and the cat spot; wood never gets more warm than sunlight #like I'm no fucking guru on it; but please don't treat me like and idiot you need to teach when you haven't actually used this stuff #why the hell can't anyone trust me? I got myself a fucking house; you know? why is it always always always advice #I'll talk about a situation; be doing more or less all anyone can do; all you have to say is 'yeah fuck that asshole' #no no; advice on what I need to tell someone about how to deal with that asshole that's not as nuanced as what I'm already doing #you share your biggest fears and just get fucking advice that won't work on how you can fix them #...kinda makes me want to blow my brains out as much as the hunger does right now #wish someone would mimic me on this; cause I seem to know what I'm doing #'gee sorry to hear that; that sort of thing is hard to deal with; you're doing a good job getting through it'

[fellhalcyon]

knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s door.

tin + tol, triage, 2022.

#THEM <3 #it's the sacrifice for me #it's the heartbreak oh my GOSH #it's the holding on ;-; #anyways i just think hands are very important #and this particular version of this particular song ;-; #when i heard it the first time i had to go stand alone in a dark room for fifteen minutes because i could simply not cope #i wish i were better at editing vids :( #i would make so many vids for this i would i w #triage the series #triage gifset #triage tin #triage tol #tintol #tin x tol #knockin' on heaven's door #raign #tw blood #if you couldn't tell: i am obsessed! i am confounded! i am captivated!!!

[depresseddepot]

the hollow places by t kingfisher was fucking terrifying

#i read kingfisher first through their fantasy books (the clocktaur series is one of my favorite books ever written) #and ive read a LOT of their books now #so their writing style feels comforting almost #and i read a house with good bones a couple weeks ago and it was great #but this book was fucking terrifying #very very well written but i am going to have trouble sleeping in the coming weeks #some horror books are fun bc the fear is separate from you. like if i read a scifi horror book set in the year 4500 w flying cars etc #the fear is still there but it is separate from me #the idea that i could knock a hole into drywall and have such horrible terrible awful things happen is. god it makes me nauseous #if you've ever heard of the backrooms its a little bit like that. but things move in your vision #and they're in the 6th dimension or whatever so you can't see them but they can see you #fucking hell. what a terrifying book #i just finished it and am sitting alone in a dark room so maybe ill have different thoughts later #but it was so scary that i almost think i didn't enjoy it #like. if i read slower i might've had a panic attack lol #what a terrifying but phenomenal piece of writing. god i love t kingfisher SO MUCH

[rucow]

sorry ive been so inactive on here lately (and everywhere else tbh), i have a lot going on irl right now and i havent had the motivation to rly work on any art or writing this entire month 😔 but hopefully after things calm down i'll get to draw again 💔

#txt #nothing bad happened just. ive had to be at the vet a lot with one of my cats (shes ok she just had some minor procedures done) #and its been 37-40C every day and my bedroom gets as hot as 33C on the worst days and i just Cannot draw in a sauna #i havent even been turning my laptop on bc i dont want to fry it fhshdd #it has started to cool down now so i can finally!!!! clean my room without dying 😭 and also sit down and draw maybe #also. my mom is at the hospital for a few days (shes getting thyroid surgery) and by christ i loathe living alone #u forget u have psychosis until its nighttime and dark and ur alone and u get paranoid and fearful and cant sleep bc u see things OUGH #i!!! am!!! living!!! a literal!!! fnaf!!!! nightmare!!!! life!!! 😭😭😭 #i survived my first night alone tho its gonna be ok #my mom should be home tomorrow :') i hope she recovers fast oof #i did have. two crying instances bc i hate being alone but im over it now the worst is behind me #(yes i know im 25 but i mentally cannot live alone its too dark and quiet and scary and i am Babey.)