#ive wanted to do this for a long time tho so nows as good as any

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi prime defenders spoilers #jrwi pd spoilers #jrwi pd #william wisp #vyncent sol #THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it. #BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece #i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW) #that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that #if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles. #open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho #BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses... #lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH #FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE #i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony #recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day #ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw- #-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM- #-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS #its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not #well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i- #-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!! #i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i

[couch-house]

something thats been in my head for a long time abt vulnerability and comfort and echoes of the past

#shadow the hedgehog #rouge the bat #team dark #shth #sth #sonic the hedgehog #maria robotnik #fanart #id in alt text #dont tag this as ship idk why you would but pls dont #anyway hi the semester started and its kicking my ass immediately #threw the frog in the boiling water #ive wanted to do this for a long time tho so nows as good as any #something something reconciling 'i want x character to seek and receive comfort' #vs 'waht is reasonable comfort for him to seek?' #so he just doesnt like being alone sometimes. he used to sleep on her floor until she was like #'shadow knock it off and sleep in the bed i can make room' #she just throws her arm at him so he knows someones there. its plenty of comfort for him #anyway. shadow standing in the doorway at 2 am rouge i frew up

[ccasey0]

alright, this isn’t related to HBT at all, but I like it too much not to share. so, say hello to the Spirit Au!!

starting with Casey, The Spirit of the Night.

I’ve got more drawings of him since he’s my fav to draw. Now for his lore!!

Casey lived his whole life in service of The Celestial in the Spirit Tree. He loved Celestial, and devoted his everything to Them. The Celestial is the master of the spirits. The God of gods. The highest of high. He is the one who creates spirits. And Casey was soon to become one. Everyone knows that Celestial was planning on appointing spirits for the Day and the Night. And Casey and his twin were the top options. They were closer than ever. They were never apart. They did everything together. But Casey was the one who worked hardest to earn Celestial’s approval. He worked so hard to be chosen for the spirit of the Day. The most important. The sun, the light, the bringer of life and happiness. But when the time came, and Celestial was choosing who would be which spirit, all that work went to waste. It was all for nothing. Because they chose Dellta. They chose her over him. She never did anything to deserve that. Of course Casey loved his twin. But Dellta was the one who relaxed all day. Played in favor of working. Acted like everything was fine and that they had all they could ever want. But Celestial chose her anyway. Why? Why not him? After everything he did for them, all the hard work, all the hours of labor, all the time he spent trying to please them. Was it all for nothing? His sister was overjoyed, but all Casey could feel was anger and despair. And then Celestial made him the spirit of the Night. The moon, the darkness, the bringer of death and sorrow. The least liked. Casey knew that some people down on earth worshiped the moon, but those people were the poor and the weak. The smallest of villages. And it wasn’t even power that Casey wanted. It was just that he had done everything he could for Celestial, only for them to completely disregard him. He hates that. He hates Celestial. He might have even hated Dellta and her joyful smile at that moment.

Also Casey Sketches!!

Oke, now for Dellta! I only have one drawing of her for now, but I definitely want to draw her some more.

Lore time!!!

Dellta had always been the happier of the twins. She played more with the other immortals and spirits while her brother worked to please the Celestial. She knew how important Celestial was, but she didn’t see why Casey had to put all his time towards making them favor him. And she never expected to be chosen for the spirit of the Day. Celestial just gave the role to her. Which meant she had somehow become his favorite. After that, she started doing just what her brother had been doing. Following the Celestial around in her free time and doing things for them to make their view of her even better. She also loved being worshipped. She really enjoyed all the offerings and gifts she received from the humans. And she loved making them all super excited when she sent them a little sign or a gift in return. She was certainly more enthusiastic about being worshipped by the mortals than her brother. She guessed that he just didn’t like the fact that all their offerings were either sacrifices or charms or the occasional food basket. Plus, he had become much quieter and distant ever since the ceremony. Dellta didn’t know why. He had become a spirit, just like he wanted. Was he hoping for something else. She didn’t know. But whenever she asked, he avoided the questions and brushed her off, pushing her further and further away. While they still did almost everything together and they were still extremely close, Casey just started to want to be alone more often and he refused to explain why. He still smiled, but not as often. He still hugged her, but they became shorter. He still loved her, and she still loved him. But he had changed. And there was nothing Dellta could do about it. She couldn’t figure out why he had become like this, he just had. But she stopped caring after a while. She just started putting her attention towards her worshippers when Casey didn’t want to talk to her.

I don’t have any extra drawings of Dellta, but I have a picture of the mountain!

The giant tree in the middle is the Spirit Tree, which serves as the bridge between the earth and the sky. The mountain is famous for being the largest and most spiritual mountain because that’s where the immortals all gather. Also, the city shown is the Foot Clan. They worship the Spirit of the Day, aka Dellta. Although they get a few things wrong about her. Like how they think that Dellta and Casey are the “Lovers of the Sky”. Casey is worshipped by the Hamato clan, which is in the other side of the mountain. Their village is much smaller and poorer than the Foot, but they know more about the spirits and have connections with a few of them. The Hamato Clan mains are The turtles(but in older form, around 20-23), Splinter(the elder/leader of the village and the most connected with the spirits), usagi(because I can), and april(one of the few humans in the hamato village), and Junior(my version Casey Jones in the au. i just called him Junior since two Caseys would be confusing. also one of the few humans in the hamato village.). The hamato clan is also the only village that is home to mostly yokai and a few humans, while the foot only consist of humans. Also in this Au the turtles aren’t the sons of splinter, just his pupils. They are also all yokai, including splinter. The hamato clan mostly gives blood sacrifices of normal animals and sometimes bowls of blood from people cutting their hands and dropping some of their blood into the bowl since the Night Spirit is supposed to be closely connected to death. Although they also have plenty of shrines with statues and a TON of charms. Charms are a very big thing for the hamato, and they are supposed to hold prayers. Casey is technically supposed to collect the charms at the end of the week during the night and turn the prayers into stars for the people who made them, but he doesn’t like going so close to the village. Also because when he first went down there he found that they had left a dead sheep for him and he hated it. So, for fear he might find more dead things, he didn’t go back there again. Sometimes he will find small charms hung up all over trees that have mushrooms on them and he absolutely loves them. Although he’ll never admit it and he leaves the charms there. Because of this, the hamato people have begun to lose faith in splinter because he is the one constantly telling them to believe in the Night Spirit. Even the turtles have started questioning the spirits, especially donnie who was already skeptical in the first place. not mikey though. he still believes just as much as Splinter. The foot clan, however, all are VERY serious about their faith in the spirits. they have a huge temple dedicated purely for the Day Spirit, and also worship some other spirits too. even the Night Spirit. although Casey doesn't like them either since they also give blood sacrifices, with no charms too! Dellta, on the other hand, loves to go down and see the humans in the Foot. She'd always been fond of sparring, so when she first saw that they Foot were very centered around fighting she was ecstatic and loved watching them train in the grounds in the center of the city. although she had to stay hidden the whole time since she was only supposed to show herself to the people on special events. also, the only time she went to the Hamato clan was during the total solar eclipse since that's when the twins are supposed to go to their opposite villages and use magic to put their symbol on the banners of their opposite representation(sun on the moon banner, moon on the sun banner for example).

anyways, I hope you like this! if you can't tell, this will be mostly centered around the Hamato Clan and Casey. i hope to be able to make more art of this cause it is SO. MUCH. FUN. to draw these guys and build more of the story. i've already got so many ideas for angst floating around in my head, as well as ideas for when Mikey meets Casey for the first time.

also this is very much inspired by Quilt Au by @cokoweee :)

#Not HBT #now i have two AUs! #Spirit Au #OC #My World #I still have so much more story to this #maybe ill try writing stuff rather than drawing #ive seen how much people like fics n' stuff #i might try it out #im not a very good writer tho #guys!!! #tell me if you want me to try writing a fic on tumblr!! #it sounds fun! #but i might end making it super jumbled up #although drawing a comic for this would take #SO #LONG #and i dont have enough coffee or motivation to draw that much #it could end up really good if i do it right #i need ya'll to tell me if i should try writing for this au #please #tell me in the ask box #rottmnt #actually this time #i have the turtles as main characters finally #yay #:)

[angellurgy]

:]

#AAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCKFUCKFUCK #CONDTANT UNENDING SILENT SCREAMING #NO WORDS BUT FORCED TO UNDERSTAND STILL UNESCAPABLE I CANT I CANT I CANT #ill never be anything ill never be anything ill never be anything at all to any of you #too fucking tired to go out of the house for so long no way to stop being tired its all wearing down on me like a fucking curse. too much #CANT CANT CANT take 10 more days of this waiting itll just go back to normal after #TRIED TO LIVE BUT WHAT IS THE POINT WHAT IS THERE EVEN FOR ME NO LOVE NO CARE NO IMPORTANCE NO PLACE #FADING MEMORY REMNANTS OF MY SOUL DRIPPING OUT OF MY HEAD LIKE A GUTTER. NO ONE WILL REMEMBER. EVEN I CANT. #AAAAAAAAAAA rotrotrotrotrotrotrotrotrot wish i just had a fucking dad to hold me wish i had a brother to show me the loving care noone will #please. llease. please. nothing left nothing left everyone wants me less with every single post but icant stop #cooped up inside. tumblrs knly good when you have a life outside of it. i cant fight it tho bc of this fucking EXHAUSTION #caused by the emotional pain and exclusion. eternal loop. let me.out #NOT LIKE IT MATTERS TO ANYONE BUT THE FEW WHO CANT HELP. THE FEW WHO CANT MAKE MY SITUATION BETTER. I JUST WANT A GROUP. #I KNOW COMMUNITY ISNT REAL BUT I FUCKING WANT SOMETHING. PLEASE #LET ME OUT. GIVE ME LIFE. INSTEAD OF THIS CONSTANT FUCKING VOID GROWING BLACK MOLD ON THE CREVICES OF MY SKULL #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nothing is giving me life right now i want sometbing i cant create anything i dont wanna die but i have no choice #FIGHT THROUGH THE TIREDNESS WALK INTO THE FOREST IN THE NIGHT AND ROT. #SLIT MY WRISTS EVEN THOUGH IT WONT DO SHIT. LAY ON A BLANKET AND LET THE COLD TAKE ME #WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME IVE BEEN CLOSE TO IT. LEAST I CAN GO ALL THE WAY. GOD WHY DO I TRY. I WANT TO TRY. I HAVE NOTHING TO TRY FOR. #NO OTHER CHOICE.

[deeisace]

..

#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again #and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet #basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um #someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much. #like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols' #they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that #no-pressure museum not-a-date #and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot. #basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person #because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it #tho they are two v different situs #an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes #same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time #but at least i only said ill think about it? #and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted #and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no #weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff #and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um #is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people #i guess #but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha #and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually. #if they ask again #i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff #im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you #(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)

[bewilderedbuck]

opening the second chances fic doc after barely writing anything this week and remembering why i was so stuck :) sigh :) i absolutely love trying to connect little bits and pieces of unfinished scenes that are written out of order :))) why am i like this :))))))

#also worrying with how im formatting this fic. bc it goes back and forth between 1989/1990 and 1997. often. #and im like hm. maybe. maybe thats not good. maybe i go back and forth too much. #but as the fic goes on we'll be getting fewer 1989/90 scenes and the 1997 scenes will get longer....but idk #just worrying abt the pacing and the format/structure and worrying that the way it is now is gonna make it hard to read #but also this is a silly little fic that im writing for fun in my free time so like. i can do whatever i want ig #also where is the spencer that once cranked out 13k words in 5 days. am i back to the spencer who takes ten months to write 10k words..... #bc thats how long it took me to write my chaptered benvi fic but i wrote my [redacted] fic in FIVE DAYS. a chapter a day!!! #this is gonna be a oneshot which the longest oneshot ive written is 5k and this one im hoping to get closer to 8k-10k with it #maybe longer if it needs to be idk. we shall see #anyways. back to writing the mike/joyce scene even tho im lowkey dreading it & getting secondhand anxiety from my own writing lol #s.txt

[synthshenanigans]

there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)

Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos

#im gonna be a fait bit busy today so I cant make it rn #also wont be making it tomorrow as there's another strike happening then [ill make a post on that later too btw] #but i want there to be an account just of stuff from the vids or of the ones he posts on twitter #as for the shipping thing #i wish ppl wouldn't be so rude with things sometimes man #my stance is basically the same as CJs. interpret it however you'd like just don't show it to ppl who are uncomfortable with it #also don't harass or be a dick to people who do or don't ship it #im glad it died down since then at least & that there's not a bunch of hate going around #this fandom is simultaneously really nice to be in & also really draining sometimes #tho it definitely isn't the worse. ive been in a lot of ones that are a LOT worse than here. big & small #place is actually quite nice mostly. despite some things that deserve needing to be called out [like some of the ableism toward Heart] #I think things would be a lot better if people just let others do their own thing. as long as its not like. fuckin illegal or offense #or against CJs boundaries. just let others vibe out in there own corner #ain't that what we all said when TH purists complain about CJs covers? No ones forcing you to consume the content. is all good #just stay where you're comfortable! if anyone's forcing you to look at their stuff then they're the issue. and that goes both ways #again just listen to what the guy said. don't show it to people that don't like it. don't harass people who do it don't like it. an like #just be groovy #sorry for the rant this has just been on my mind for months now #im generally very neutral on things but i hate everyone just yellin at each other when there doesn't need to be yelling in the first place #again this place is hell of a lot better than other spaces ive been in #its a main reason this is the first fandom I've actively participated a shit ton in #im actually using discord & talking [a bit] to other ppl for once lol #idk man i like it here. Just don't make a reason for people not to like it here #again apologies for the rant op. this has just been on my mind for some time & i really don't want shit being blown up again #also apologize if anythins spelled wrong or sounds like nonsense #shitty keyboard + dyslexia + not being able to edit tags can make dumb results lol #moss rants #[atlas asks]

[0tul1ss]

.

#mannn i literally assumed he ghosted-- why on earth would he text me after so long???? #i was fully like 'ok the last msg i sent literally makes me cringe a bit to read but its been months so ig im never opening the convo again #it was simpler before when there felt like there was nothing else to do and easier to move on. i even had a little crush on someone else ! #now i have a whole wheel of decisions to choose from #and idek what i truly want from this guy anymore bc even just platonically he kinda fucked it up like. idk #or rather i want a lot of different things and idk what to choose #i want my friend back. i want to never see him again. i want him to know every truth of what ive felt and i want him to know none of it #i want him to miss me or maybe wonder about me sometimes down the line. i want him to not spare me another thought for the rest of his life #i want to reply only 'go fuck yourself' and i want to write him a letter and i want to ghost him better than he ghosted me #i want to tell him i love him and i want to tell him i hate him and i want to say nothing at all #i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have #<-going insane #anyway its soooo stupid like i already grieved for this shit bro. i accepted the end of this years long close friendship #anyway idk why im doing so much processing of this in a vent post nor do i know why i always feel compelled to post these when i do #good thing i keep a small presence on here lol. but yea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send post #ok wait i saved this as a draft and went to go look for what i had been tagging vent posts with #[couldnt find one i had been using consistently even tho the whole point is so ppl can blacklist it if they want whoops!!] #and i saw another vent from another time he just kinda disappeared on me #and while this time was a lot worse for a lot of reasons i think its important to say this-- #that the last thing that i want is to go back to square one of this stupid awful cycle #vent

[poorlittlevampire]

i am a battle pass hater just like. on principle but the ow one is sooo fucking bad i cannot believe people pay for it. and they changed it so now f2p players only get one free skin out of it and i wouldn’t even be that annoyed except for the fact that this seasons ashe skin in the bp wouldve been the free one. like bro just give it to me u fucking suck

#its not even a good skin 😭 #i have not played it since i bought stardew but the new character seems fiun ao i might plag again maybe #its just really gross to see them further push the monetization #bc before the bp sucked anyways but at least youd get a couple skins #now u get one skin and its the shittiest one #such a joke #i grinded for the tokens so i can buy a bp for free but im waitinf for ashe’s mythic or whatever theyre called #and it better be fucking. GOOD #dolly parton theme i am counting on you #the ana skin actually looks really good tho #oh i meant to add that it sucks esp sincw ita not like thw bp is the only content thwyre charging for #lile if it was just rhe bp then id understand keeping more rewards under the paywall #but its NOT!! especially not this season since theyre adding the pve which is a seperate purchase!!!! #if anything this was the time tk be MORE generous with it #but whatever. capitalism yeehaw #also the mercy skin i really want that h can only buy with the league tokens is in the shop rn 😭 and im short by likw 50 tokens #and u get them from watching the league streams but u get like 5 an hour and it takes so long #ive been leaving the streams running in a muted tab while doing other shit purelt ro get the mercy skin #and now i cant 😭😭😭

[heartyearning]

handsewing button holes through 6 layers of fabric is an unfortunately huge pain in the ass and tragically i have to do 18 of them

#ive done 3 so far so 6th of the way thru 😔 its ok im being so brave about this #i dont mind THAT much bc i enjoy sewing button holes tbh its just a little Meh bc it takes so long & like #i dont want to waste so much time while other project remain so unfinished #plus theres one layer of fabric which is already a bitch to sew thru one or two layers which like. i chose this fabric knowingly #i just forgot that id have to do the button holes by hand #& its for a corset too so theres boning on both sides which means there isnt all that much manoeuvreability #but ! i finished the top edge w bias tape (which i made myself without a little tool and went way better than ive done before with tool) #& it looks decently sick so ! i am positive about this thing overall its just that i shouldnt have made 7 holes on both sides at the back #i was originally only gonna do 5/side but then i was just measuring a hole/3cm & didnt think about my original reasoning for doing 5 #& by the time i recalled how much work it'd be id already actually used a seam ripper to make the holes so i cant back out now #+ something rly rly bothersome is that my iron left a pretty big stain on the fabric (im still not sure how this stuff works #but i think my boning had some rust on it and thats what made the stain rather than the iron itself #i could be wrong tho) so i think im either gonna try to wash it out obv but if that doesnt work #i might do some embroidery which im not looking forward to #but unfortunately needs must and ive already cut a few corners & have some imperfections that i need leeway on #AND i dont want EVERY single project to be noticably halfassed at my jury so #i'll be fine btw im complaining but more so im just sorting thru my thoughts bc im quite pleased w how it looks #despite the imperfections #& ive overall just had a good day #tomorrow is reserved for studying art history bc i have that exam on wednesday & wednesday i wanna use whats left of the day #to work on my drape (possible some of that will happen tomorrow too) so i can get it mostly finished #& then i still have the option of showing my teacher on thursday if i feel the need to do so #& also i just need to get that done so i dont have to worry about it too much anymore #then we'll be taking pics on sunday probably #& then i have 2 more days to finish my portfolios and sort all of that out (and fuck i keep forgetting i have to upload everything online) #& then !! jury time !! & the day after we're gonna go to a theme park & then we just have until the 2nd week of feb #to relax and do sort of whatever we want #excited !!!

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #cw blood #something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones #IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE #ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE.... #THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU #do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule. #LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE #DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared #i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail #but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!! #i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time #i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS #soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz #i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss #have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES #I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn #annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE. #hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.

[ihatebnha]

hey pretty, I just wanted to tell you that it's not your fics that makes this your blog, it's you!! so don't feel like to be here you have to be "working" or "posting". you're you and I love u for that. really, I love it when you answer asks, you're so polite, gentle and funny, it actually makes us wanna talk to you. but!! if one day this whole thing ever overwhelms you it's okay baby. just wanted to let you know that you alredy give us so much <33 you are amazing in indulging our thoughts, you give us tiktok content and amazing dad headcanons for all the characters!! know you're doing great, you really are active here and we love you 💗❤❤

#cries for literally 100 years #thank you so incredibly much for this anon :(((( truly truly truly #hardly know how to express what i wanna so i have to stay in the tags so i don't end up blubbering all over u adslfjkjasnd #no one has ever ............... said anything like this to me before #at least about ... my content and how active i am and stuff #i always feel like im never doing enough. ALWAYS. even when i post a lot i just wish i could post more #and maybe its just cuz im comparing myself to my old self #but it makes me sad bc i just feel like u all deserve more than whats happening now #and usually im reassured by the fact that like... something IS better than nothing... esp w/ quality over quantity #but at the same time... idk. all my content seems so. rudimentary #so it's like. when i cant produce a lot of it... what am i even doing? #and honestly i think my burnout mostly comes from the fact that im sick of doing homework and the prospects of relaxing this summer #are just too good to give up (making even focusing on this blog hard) BUT IDK #it triggers my performance anxiety... like what if ppl hate me if i do bad... or am not the way i used to be... you know? #anyway thats just mostly to say... I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. TRULY. i don't think ive ever been complimented this way #and i appreciate it beyond. words. #not sure how im gonna feel in 2-3 weeks after i settle myself for the summer but. as long as u dont mind the fact that im slow... #that's enough for me <3 just need to find my spark again (which is funny cuz im watching bnha s5 rn and its really got me like... HUH) #ajfdjalsjdfj sorry to talk ur ear off tho bc what u said is really so reassuring... i just AHHHH and want u to know i love u lots #forever and ever and ever #ask #anon #caitie chats #fave

[gothamcityneedsme]

told my sister how im excited to have 2 days off because i am, quoting myself, 'at the end of my rope' and she immediately jumped to asking if she could have one of those days

#shitpost #i understand. shes. manic right now. #and im glad. she wants to see me. #but also. girl. i am so tired. i havent had nothing on my docket for months #and my accruing situation at work is the only downside to the new company... #Im at square one even tho ive had this job for 2 years... #So i havent gotten to take much time off this year... It wont get better until i accrue more... #idk man im just fucking tired. I cant write. Anything i try to do takes too long #i have an endless list of personal and professional goals rn #i have productive and unproductive things to do in lists #Like. I need. A fucking. Break. Orz #I just told her because shes usually. Idk. Better at sympathizing with me #but man shes in this manic state rn. I dont have a better word for it #but the effect its having on me is not good #She overpowers every convo we have rn #Its making me sad and more tired #Ok. Im done. Im just tired.

[florenceisfalling]

okay bye guys see u. idk. sometime soon? soon

#this year has been one of the worst of my life and i really want to get better but i feel like my whole world is kinda crumbling around me #lol hashtag relatable ig #im trying really hard to do the things i need to #but i literally feel like im being torn apart at the seems mentally #but im trying. really hard. to get things done before i have to move back to university #i only have a few weeks #i got sick these last few days which is both a blessing and a curse #a blessing because i dont have to go to work #a curse because im not making money and also im sick lol #really hoping my job just never contacts me again. i dont want to try to even go back even tho im pretty much not sick anymore. #and its 4 am now so... that means today was supposed to be my last day anyway. bleh #and i am gonna be another year older in 8 days... fuck. i dont want any of this. i want time to stop for a while. #i just feel like melting into my mattress and really truly i feel like ive already killed myself. i dont feel alive. i dont feel like #theres anything valuable coming out of this. i barely even feel like a person #but at least the upside of that is i probably wont consider walking into traffic again lol #and yknow i thought a lot of my sadness was circumstantial #which is true. i have some really tough things going on in my life right now so a lot of my sadness came from that. but now that ive been #sort of dunked in the feeling... it doesnt matter now. when i have a happy day or a happy moment it only lasts as long as the high and then #its over and im over and im back to being dead and i dont remember the good feelings anymore. i know i had a great day the other day. #i remember the moments. i remember smiling. but i dont remember how it felt. even though it wasnt even a week ago. #its like eating cold soup and trying to imagine it warm fksjdlf #sorry for ranting. i have a sideblog for all that for a reason i just. damn. spewwwwwwww

[orcelito]

Trying out this new thing called "don't think about my life after tiring shifts" bc how I feel at these times does not reflect how I feel at the average moment & so it brings me more peace if I Don't Fucking Think About It

#speculation nation #bc it ends up just being a horrid cycle of 'i hate my fucking life' and 'i need to get out of here'. on repeat. #which Yea i fucking do need to get out of here lmao but i dont hate my life that much In General #in the average moment i do like this job. aka why im still here after everything. #thinking about it at times like this just fills me with hopeless despair & i do not enjoy that. #days like today are outliers. & now that it's over i wont have to worry about it for another year. #just gotta take my days as they come and not worry about it #& make sure i keep up with my fucking school work bc thats what's the fucking hold up at the end of it all #someday i will graduate. and i will finally move onto greener pastures. #until then i refuse to stew in self pity. #and so i make a tumblr post about it instead of sleeping bc i still wanted to complain i guess lmao #negative/ #can you guys tell im tired lol. today fucking sucked. #couldve been worse! some parts were fun. but the bone deep exhaustion definitely overshadows that. #i got to eat dip n dots today tho. thats smth nice! #and also shitty bbq pizza. bc that's all they had left. i dont even LIKE bbq #the little bit i walked around was just long fucking lines and too loud of music. and lackluster pizza & breadsticks. #but it was food & it got me through. so like it's whatever in the end. #& i got to eat dip n dots. ive always loved those things. gotta count my blessings where they are... #anyways im going to sleep now for real this time. Good Night

[be-good-to-bugs]

hey what if i like, didn't have a headache right now. that idea sounds cool we should do that idea.

#the bin #ack. i cant like. do anything. #i want to draw right now but i cant cause of this :/ #the screen hurts my eyes and the leaning over makes it worse. and the leaning from traditional art is SO BAD. #hhh. i hope it will go away soon but i dont think it will. im feeling stomach sick too so i cant take ibuprofen either. sad. #i didnt end up getting to call my mom yesterday. i was SO tired probably because i had a 2 hour panic attack and it was past when #id been going to sleep anyway so i fell asleep. today should be more idea bc i stayed in bed till kinda late. #im really nervous. theres other stuff stressing me too like lending a bunch of money to my sister again. i dont have a lot right now and i #will need some extra for moving costs regardless of if i stay here or get to go home. supposedly she will return it in a week #its not for her technically. its for her boyfriends rent. if it was for her i probably wouldnt have tbh bc she sucks SO MUCH about this #stuff. i do have the money and i get it. i dont know him but its not a problem for me as long as i get it back very soon #ive lent a couple smaller amounts to him before and he was quick to get it back. and he always offers to send back more which i dont care #about but like. he gets that im not REALLY in a position to be able to do this. im still stressed the fuck out tho. #my body hurts so bad all the time. im glad i get time off this week but god damn. #i was gonna use it to clean but idk if my body is gonna let me. well. at least one of the days it will have to. #i hope i get good news today when i talk to her. i wanna stop having to stress so bad about this