#i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have

[0tul1ss]

.

#mannn i literally assumed he ghosted-- why on earth would he text me after so long???? #i was fully like 'ok the last msg i sent literally makes me cringe a bit to read but its been months so ig im never opening the convo again #it was simpler before when there felt like there was nothing else to do and easier to move on. i even had a little crush on someone else ! #now i have a whole wheel of decisions to choose from #and idek what i truly want from this guy anymore bc even just platonically he kinda fucked it up like. idk #or rather i want a lot of different things and idk what to choose #i want my friend back. i want to never see him again. i want him to know every truth of what ive felt and i want him to know none of it #i want him to miss me or maybe wonder about me sometimes down the line. i want him to not spare me another thought for the rest of his life #i want to reply only 'go fuck yourself' and i want to write him a letter and i want to ghost him better than he ghosted me #i want to tell him i love him and i want to tell him i hate him and i want to say nothing at all #i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have #<-going insane #anyway its soooo stupid like i already grieved for this shit bro. i accepted the end of this years long close friendship #anyway idk why im doing so much processing of this in a vent post nor do i know why i always feel compelled to post these when i do #good thing i keep a small presence on here lol. but yea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send post #ok wait i saved this as a draft and went to go look for what i had been tagging vent posts with #[couldnt find one i had been using consistently even tho the whole point is so ppl can blacklist it if they want whoops!!] #and i saw another vent from another time he just kinda disappeared on me #and while this time was a lot worse for a lot of reasons i think its important to say this-- #that the last thing that i want is to go back to square one of this stupid awful cycle #vent

[cerastes]

I’m thinking of how, in OpRec 2, Laurentina knows she has very limited time as herself before her brain deteriorates and she loses her reason again and becomes the “Specter” again. She has few precious hours as herself after years of being trapped in her own mind due to the experiments and the insane amount of pure liquid Originium Amaia and Quintus injected directly into her spinal cord.

She uses a bit of this time to spend it fighting a battle alongside Misery (who insisted she doesn’t need to help him but definitely welcomed the aid since apparently the situation was pretty bad), because in fighting, she can remain useful, in her own words. Skadi insists she hurry back to Rhodes Island, to which Specter says it’s pointless, because equipment on the surface simply cannot help her, only keep her alive, so she takes her sweet time fighting alongside Misery, and Skadi and Gladiia (the latter reluctantly) join.

She allots some more of her time to having a proper talk with Closure, answering as many questions as she can, both about herself and about Closure, but mainly, what she wanted to say was “do not change the way I’m treated. You know me as Specter, you have protocols around the Operator Specter. Retain them. I have to go.”

She talks with a very concerned Skadi and an unflinching but still upset Gladiia, but she already had time with them on the way back. The final person she wanted to talk to before her brain gave out again? Doctor. Explicitly because she predicted Closure and Doctor may take more care on her handling, maybe remove her from combat operations in order to more closely monitor her condition. This is exactly what she didn’t want.

Because end of the day, Laurentina is a Hunter. She finds it difficult to speak as surface dwellers do, she finds it almost nonsensical, and so, she demands, “Keep me in the fight, Doctor. We do not need words, we need only you having a clear objective and me, my orders. If you put me in a bed and out of the battlefield, you are denying me the last shred of identity I can cling on”.

Because she couldn’t sculpt, she couldn’t sing, she couldn’t even control her own body, if she was even conscious. The only thing that she could do to cling to being who she was...

...Is to at the very least be pointed towards an enemy to fight them, and pointed towards an ally to protect them.

Skadi believed Laurentina had died prior to the events of the game because this isn’t the first time she had done this: In order for the 3rd Squadron to advance towards Ishar’mla, the 2nd Squadron, Gladiia and Laurentina’s, practically sacrificed themselves covering for the 3rd. 

She never blamed Skadi, and makes sure she knows it. She didn’t mind doing it again now, either. “Point me at the one I have to cut, put the ones I need to keep safe behind me, and give the order. Even if am completely lost in the darkness of my mind and madness of my heart, that, that will never leave me. That’s proof that I am Specter, that I am Shark, and that I am Laurentina. I, namely, I.”

As far as she knew, these were the last words she’d ever get out as herself. She used to make it very clear: “Do not deny me the only bit of purpose and identity I have left, because even if I am but a shell of myself, I’m still me.”

Of course, we now know that this was not to be her final fate, and she did manage to regain control, decisively, eventually, but... As far as she and Skadi and Doctor knew, at this point, this was really, really it. The briefest of encounters with the real Specter, on borrowed time. And her intent? To make sure she’s not left to rot in a medical room where she’s useless, gathering dust: “Put even more danger upon my share”. You know you are dealing with a seriously terrifying and strong person when they can confidently tell you (and have verifiably, so far, done as much) that even if it’s just a shell of her former self out there, she can and will never stop doing exactly what she’s good at, because otherwise, at that point, she truly has left the world.

#arknights #specter #shark thoughts this night #3 am gn

[lurkingshan]

Dead Friend Forever: Notes on the Finale

We made it! And I am... mostly, if not wholly, satisfied. That ending was both better than expected and still fell short in a few key places, and there are clear indicators of industry business interfering with the final choices (a common Thai bl problem these days).

The Good

The hallucination sequences were excellent, felt super well grounded in everything we know about these characters, and the way it connected to the real world consequences for each of them was excellent. Fluke stabbing his own eyes, Fluke and Top dying trying to fight each other while they denied their culpability to the end, Jin maiming his own hand, Phee reliving his promises to Non that he utterly failed to keep, and Tee stabbing White thinking he was Non all felt like very appropriate consequences. I am devastated that White died, but it's not an inappropriate consequence in this genre. He got involved with a bad dude and he paid for it.

New's final moments with the hallucination of Non were beautifully done. We've been building to this final breakdown for weeks, and he was too far gone to keep on living. I said last week he was already a dead man walking, and I felt that every moment in this episode. He tried his best to avenge his brother, and mostly succeeded despite Phee turning on him. Phee being the one to kill him in the end was also a good final sin for Phee and completed his descent and betrayal of the brothers over the last several weeks. I appreciated that his hallucination sequence was longer and more detailed than the rest; he had actual commitments to Non, so his betrayal was worse.

The Not So Good

A copout ending and too many loose ends. This episode was great right up until the moment they chose to air an ambiguous ending to protect a ship and attempt to please all fans. They wanted to have their cake (keep the show's main ship intact) and eat it, too (punish them as the narrative demanded). Rather than pick up the axe left on the ground last week and finish the story with Phee and Jin getting what was coming to them, they did an out of nowhere time skip, set up a happy ending for them, and then ended on an implication (but not a clear confirmation) that actually they did die back at the cabin and this last few minutes was another fantasy sequence.

This was frustrating for a few reasons: it broke the mood, tone, and rhythm of the ending, it denied the audience the catharsis of seeing Phee and Jin die, it gave a nod to a happy ending for them that didn't go at all with the narrative, and it wimped out on delivering a more definitive and fitting ending for them. Not to mention that this ending left us with no closure on Non's death, which happened offscreen, or the axe left on the ground and signaled to us as a clear threat in the penultimate episode, or who exactly was behind the mask at various moments. Even if they wanted to do this time jump and final twist, there were much better ways to do it, such as actually showing us Phee and Jin's bodies still in the woods. Leaving it this vague was a copout of a choice designed to appease fans, and it felt like one.

In The End

All that said, I read that ending as a confirmation that Phee and Jin are in fact dead back in the woods. Jin's maimed left hand was never shown in the jump forward, which would have been a crystal clear indicator that it was real. The whole tone of the sequence felt wrong and very discordant with everything that came before. And I simply can't accept that Phee would be allowed to murder New and still survive this story. It would be wrong, and the show clearly knows that, which is why they acknowledged it with that ending.

I enjoyed the experience of watching this show, and I thought the writing was truly excellent through the first nine episodes. The pacing issues and weirdness around the Phee and Jin material began in ep 10, and we can see why now that we know the ending. I wish the drama had stuck to the courage of its convictions and ended on a stronger note, but I am satisfied that most of the characters got what they deserved. It's been a pleasure clowning with you all.

#dead friend forever #dff the series #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

One of the hardest thoughts related to the villain trio in bnha, in terms of it being a hard pill to swallow I mean, it's that their fear of being both rejected and isolated keeps them, well, rejected and isolated.

And it is common, really. In fear of the worst thing happening we could deny ourselves the freedom of happy moments--- and then the worst might happen anyway. But for Tomura, Touya and Toga, who need to feel accepted so badly, who feel so utterly alone they need to keep others at distance, is like replacing a coat of thorns with a coat of needles.

Although it is not their fault they've retracted from the world, since it is a trauma response from all the abuse they've suffered, they are trapped on a cycle of actions that only push them farther down the spiral. That's partially due their hatred and rage and sadness and of course, the fear. They feel they're entitled to demand compensation, be it via revenge in the form of seeing your family suffer and your dad crash and burn to remind them of what they've done to you, by destroying the world so you can finally get free of the dark feelings inside you or borrowing what you want from other people lives by becoming them (in theory) through blood consumption.

The problem with the cycle is that the heroes can't enable those bad actions but they can't ignore either the traumas that generate the whole situation. Why? Because little traumas speak about greater fault lines in the system they try to correct and protect and its their job to save as many people as they can.

In Touya's case, for example, the Todorokis were able to both stop his bad actions and show their acknowledgment and acceptance (in the sense of recognizing his pain and the situation he went through). He'll have to face the consequences of his actions, but now the cycle started to break, so he might be able to get what he wants (maybe closure) without putting the entire world in danger.

Tomura needs to accept that he can't destroy the world if he wants to get better, as much as Toga needs to understand that the things she wants won't come from other people's lives but her own. There's a point when they have to break the barrier and allow it to hurt even more, before it can get better.

The intensity of their physical fights is meant to mirror the emotional struggle they're goin' through, like most good shonen usually do.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #league of villains #lov #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #dabi #toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #touya todoroki #toya todoroki #tenko shimura #bnha 392

[animehouse-moe]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 138: Sword Man

Classic Fujimoto, entirely inscrutable to the outside eye, changing pace and outlook at the drop of the hat. Closure is a word that I'm sure doesn't exist in their vocabulary at this point as we skip and jump around from place to place in this chapter and expose a lot of information. Really, they drop a lot of stuff, arguably important stuff, in this chapter that I really think will get people wondering.

We first find out that our mystery girl, Fumiko Mifune, is actually a bodyguard placed next to Denji to protect him. A pretty solid surprise for sure, but I think more interesting than that is the personality that she shows now that the jig is up.

The switch flips immediately, and instead of it being all about Denji, it's now all about Chainsaw Man. It's a really interesting piece that doesn't quite elicit a specific emotional response as it does confusion in Denji. The girl that was interested in "him" was only interested in Chainsaw Man. Just a natural extension of Denji's terrible luck with (older) women. Every single one is after only half of him, the piece that resembles him the least, the piece that people want to rob him of. Why is Denji not worthy of love and attention, but Chainsaw Man is? Perhaps that's what confuses Denji in this moment, why everybody looks through him for something that is him.

Anyways, Karaoke Fujimoto.

And now some fun dichotomy between Asa and Yoru. It's quite enjoyable how consistent and committed Fujimoto is to representing Asa and Yoru as separate and opposite entities in comparison to the blurred lines that exist with Denji and Chainsaw Man.

Following that up, I really liked this dialogue/sequence with Asa discussing her popularity. She refuses to be likened to Yoru, so of course she immediately denies the fact that she's drawn in by her fame and popularity. But her story tells readers otherwise. She's the one tuned into the TV broadcast plastering her face across the screen, she's the one that is smiling at seeing how much attention she's getting.

Asa's inability to be honest with herself has long been an established character trait, so I really enjoy seeing it be used in places like this where it can be used to further blur the line between Asa and Yoru, and that despite being setup to be at complete odds with one another, they're slowly assimilating.

And now, for the real bombshells of the chapter. Asa/Yoru's scar is visible to others when Yoru takes control of the body. This is a trait that we've not seen with hybrids up until this point. So, the question is,

Can you call Asa Mitaka a hybrid?

I don't think you can, and here's why. First of all, when a hybrid devil "transforms", they have to directly interact with their body: Denji pulling his cord, Katana Man take his hand off, so on and so forth. Secondly, when a hybrid "returns" to their human form, that excess transformation begins to slough off of their bodies in clumps. Thirdly, it's marked by physical differences to their human body that resemble the fear that they embody. Lastly, the devil inhabits the heart of the hybrid human.

In all situations, Asa and Yoru do not satisfy these criteria. There is no requirement for transformation, nor any physical difference that is gained and removed in the typical fashion, nor is it Asa's heart that's been removed.

By all means, I believe we can properly confirm that what Asa and Yoru are experiencing is symbiosis, where Yoru is a symbiote existing in Asa. The transformation is implicit, Yoru can control Asa (though Asa can wrestle control back), etc. etc. The point being that knowing that the scar is an actual change that is perceived means that Yoru can exert some form of control over the body, but that she can't transform properly like a hybrid. Some might argue that there's potential Yoru is considered a "fiend", but in those the original personality is erased (which is not the case here).

Also, with the confirmation of the scar being visible, a new theory is produced. Not that there's two bodies or anything like that, no it's a much more odd, implicit, and weird thing to try and explain. Yoru is using Asa's old body, while Asa herself occupies the "new" one given to her by Yoru. Yeah, I use old and new even though I said there's not two bodies, but I'm not sure how else to explain it. The scars that are visible directly indicate that Yoru's "body" is the one that she put back together when Asa died. However, Asa's current body does not display any of those scars. I'm unsure what exactly this could mean, but I think there's a lot of potential for some really interesting psychological aspects to emerge.

Anyways, the next massive bombshell: Sword Man. This alone gives the potential for all the other hybrids to still be alive. This means characters like Reze, Quanxi, and others could still exist. Not that we really had a way to confirm that they were dead, but considering they've not shown up until now it's not a crazy thing to have assumed.

At the same time, it also means that there's potential for Sword Man to not actually be sword man. We've seen that it's entirely possible to morph and shapeshift to look exactly like other people, so it's entirely possible that this person is either working with or is the same person that is the imposter Chainsaw Man. That, or they're part of the group that is set on attacking Denji.

Whichever is the truth, it's a big reveal that has pretty dire consequences for the nature of the impending doom of the foretold prophecy.

So overall, the chapter stays pretty far away from Denji's identity crisis regarding Chainsaw Man, and instead establishes some crazily important facts and points within the world to provide the stepping stones for future aspects. Will we find out what Asa and Yoru actually are? Will the existence of Sword Man lead us towards who is the false Chainsaw Man? Will other hybrids make an appearance, is Yoshida pulling strings behind the curtains through all of these moments? Will Denji ever find anybody that likes him for just who he is? Find out, on the next episode of: Chainsaw Man.

#chainsaw man #csm pt 2 #chainsaw man manga #csm manga #chainsaw man part two #chainsaw man part 2 spoilers #csm part 2 #csm part two #csm spoilers #csm denji #csm yoshida #manga recommendation #manga review #anime and manga #manga

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

Messy post but if I don’t post now, the season’s gonna be over before my thoughts are out: Charlie (feels like) he’s in a different genre of show than everyone else at the moment, all his scenes and reactions in the first few episodes especially are more sober and serious (to me) compared to everyone else, even if coloured by the absurdity of Sunny, he's taking control of the situation because he can recognize the situation when the others can’t, he’s always seemed more perceptive but now it’s really showing as he’s done with his mom’s shit, he’s done with Jack’s abuse, and all the scenes with Uncle Jack are clearly uncomfortable and (I think) intentionally not really being played for laughs? (unless they really are just making a horrendous writing choice here), but he’s seeing these darker layers, he’s seeing Mac turn down everything he’s ever wanted, raising eyebrows at the cigarette burning, he’s questioning Dennis’ decisions that maybe wouldn’t have him bat much of an eye before (hmm wait, him asking why dennis wouldn’t perform his ex-wife’s dying wish to be buried in the pet cemetery vs Charlie obeying his dad’s dying wish/tradition of his corpse being carried up the mountain 🤔, Charlie and Dennis having similar shared trauma and both being faced with things that could bring those trauma back up this season, perhaps building up to some closure and heart to heart between them in the finale, 🤔 but that's for another post), anyway Charlie’s opening doors, he was the only one who knew what was behind some of the doors, he’s been denied his legacy, he’s starting to notice or show that he’s noticing just how fucked up all their lives actually are, like someone becoming aware of their narrative for the first time, previously living in a comedy, but starting to pull the thread and discovering it's actually interweaved with tragedy... while Frank still sits down for cake and Mac can't/doesn’t want to see what's right in front of him, and Dennis is likely spiralling and etc. etc., he's pulled back the curtain just a tad... while the others are still protected by it, but the curtain’s gonna come down eventually. And it’s not an all at once shift, this has been a long time coming, all happening slowly, nigh imperceptibly, like that post about boiling the frog, if you turn the heat up right away, it realizes what’s happening and jumps out right away, but if you turn the temperature (tragedy) up gradually, it takes a while before it notices, before we notice, and when it does notice, well...

Something about comedy that becomes tragedy the more you think on it. Something about the inherent connection between comedy and tragedy.

Sunny is a comedy. Sunny is a love story. Sunny is a tragedy. All statements true at the same time. But I think the latter might be coming to the forefront (and Charlie might see it coming). (But it’s not a change, not really, it’s same old sunny, because the heat’s always been on, they’re just only starting to really feel it).

#iasip #text #sunny sweet 16 #charlie kelly #anmmbposts #it’s always sunny in philadelphia #posting now or else gonna nitpick over it for another month I swear

[sincerely-sofie]

The """"villain""""Twig!AU is making me go insane over what would happen. I haven't hyperfixated on something so much, so quickly in years. I need to give my 2 cents or I just might implode

(Tw: self hatred, suicide implications, Death, Caps lock)

Twig would think of herself as an irredeemable monster for indirectly hurting her friends. she would probably think that, because Darkrai made people have nightmares because of malice, (while not knowing its just a thing he can accidentally do without realizing it.) she would think that on some level that she WANTED to hurt the people closest to her. Her self loathing would get SO much worse. BUT she CAN'T be self destructive because she wouldn't want anyone else to be cursed with this power. She would spiral even further. She wants to die, but she knows she can't from age because of Celebi. She would hate herself even more for even thinking of finding someone to put her out of her misery. She loves her friends to a fault. She wants to be with them, but she thinks that she's inherently evil. It wouldn't help that she would not be able to practice controlling her powers in isolation, give that nightmare aura invariably needs someone else to practice with.

Everyone in her friend group, the Guild, heck, maybe even team skull, would desperately search for her. Combing every place they can think of. Searching every mystery dungeon, forest, mountain, cave, even going under the sea to search. But it's no use. One by one all of them would give up and accept that she is missing. Maybe forever. Except Kip. He would never stop searching for her. He's madly in love with her and knows her better than anyone else. All he wants to do is tell her that he still loves her, and that he would endure any nightmare, no matter how awful, just so he could wake up next to her. And that they would figure out how to control her powers together. But he can't. Maybe he evolves from the constant stress and work put in searching for her. He can't accept that she's gone. He CANNOT live without seeing her one last time. But no matter how much he tries, he can't find her. All of his effort, YEARS of searching with no results. He would either fall into an intense depression, rarely eating or getting out of bed, or die in an accident during an expedition. His thoughts for the last who-knows-how-many-decades have almost entirely been about Twig. And that doesn't change during his last breath.

Grovyle would possibly take it the worst out of all her friend. She was the ONE person he SWORE to protect, and he SCREWED IT UP! HE COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANY WORSE! He would consider himself an utter failure on every conceivable level. It doesn't help that his old savior complex habits resurface worse than ever. He doesn't want anyone to worry about him. He needs to be strong. He always puts on a mask whenever he's around others. He denies everything when someone confronts him about obviously not doing well. Whenever he's alone, he wishes he could just, dissappear. But that would mean someone else would wonder what happened to him. So he can't do that. As a result, he becomes more distant from everyone. His friendships fade because he's never genuine. He runs away whenever he begins to get too emotional. And denies that he is doing such a thing.

Dusknoir would be incredibly distraught by this. He hurt Twig before, who's to say he hadn't done hurt her again? She didn't even say goodbye to anyone, least of all him, why would she even care about him? And now all he wants is to beg her for forgiveness. Completely unaware of the fact that she had already forgiven him for his betrayal a long time ago. He has no idea that she would be appalled that he would want her to forgive him when she would be the one begging for his forgiveness for hurting him and "being evil". Both of them recieve no closure for this. And both of them live without knowing that the other wishes they would ask for forgiveness.

Celebi would become more reserved than ever. She learned that; not only could a legend be killed, but also what happens to the person that kills them. She would consider her powers to see the future and the past a curse. One that only she can bear. She becomes so much less adventurous and adverse to risk. Whenever the other Celebi's ask her why she looks so glum, she quickly changes the subject. She can't have them know. It would destroy them. She would consider all of this her fault as well. If only she knew what would happen, she could have stopped it. If she had been more responsible, she could have had Twig live her life, and all of this would have been avoided. But she can't change it now, because if she were to try and go back in time, another Celebi might come to this timeline and learn what happened. Then they would tell the others, and then they would talk, and she would be solely responsible for ruining the lives of infinite Celebi's. It would all have been her fault. She shoos any celebi that arrives in her timeline out of there. Her relationship with Dialga crumbles as a result of how often she threatens other Celebis to tell him that they are interfering with other timeliness. Eventually, the other Celebi's start avoiding her altogether. "If she's gonna be so mean, then we just wont talk to her" they reason. She's alone, her friendships are ruined, the only people that can relate to her hate her. But they are all safe. That's the only thing that matters now.

Cressalia would take some time, but eventually she finds out what would happen. She would feel responsible for being the one that got Twig cursed with this power, but also she would try to police Twig the same way she tried to control Darkrai. "She must be doing this on purpose". Perhaps Cressalia is the catalyst that made Twig leave in the first place. By trying to help her in Cressalia's own special way, by guilt tripping them while assuming they know what they're doing. It's only after her experience with the Snivy that she realizes what she has done. And now she did EXACTLY what she did to darkrai. To someone who never wanted or asked for this power. She would want to seek forgiveness, but Twig doesn't sleep. She doesn't know where she is. This guilt would eat away at her, leaving her a shell of her former self.

I love a good (fictional) tragedy, because all of this is no-ones fault in particular. Celebi thought legends couldn't be killed and didn't take any precautions in the possibility of that happening, Cresselia thought she was doing the right thing, both before and after Darkrai's death. Twig, Kip, Grovyle and Dusknoir couldn't have known that any of this would happen. It was the perfect storm and set of circumstances that caused this. The most tragic part of all of this, is that by trying to protect everyone, Twig hurts them more than she would have if she had simply stayed. If she didn't have a tendency to put the well-being of others over her own, she could have lead a much happier life, with some pain at the start. Rather than being in pain forever, while unknowingly causing so much more suffering. Ignorance is often bliss, but it is a curse in this.

I dunno how in character all of this is, (Personally, I think my interpretation of Celebi is a bit iffy, she probably would have known that legends can be killed, seen this future, and taken steps to prevent all this from happening) But my brain latched on to the implications of this AU like a steel trap and would not let go until I wrote this down

Thank you for continuing to make art Sophie! I love this suffering more than you probably realize. (Genuine)

Okay so like. When you said you were gathering your thoughts I was so excited. But I would have never DREAMED of this amazing ask.

This is such an interesting continuation of the AU’s premise! It really drives home the irony of Twig’s belief that she makes things worse for those around her, and that her friends would be happier if they never saw her again— Twig is the heart of the main cast. She’s keeping everyone from going off the deep end with just her presence.

I don’t know what to say other than GOOD GLORY do we ever need a tag for this AU because I’m getting attached to it 😭

#HNGHGHHH THIS IS STUNNING #I’M IN LOVE WITH THIS #so many fun ideas!! #I really need to explain Kip and his ‘crush’ on Twig #I’ve never talked about it and I think it’s going to make people laugh once they have the details #alrighty here’s a tag for this thing: #Mortality Exchange AU #sofie answers asks #pmd2 #pmd eos #pmd #pmd explorers #pmd sky #pokémon mystery dungeon #the present is a gift au #pokemon mystery dungeon

[andydrysdalerogers]

Yours Submissively ~ Understanding

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, loss of virginity, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Consequences

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

“Ma’am?” 

“Ma’am?” 

“I’m not answering you, Ava.”  

“Belle?” 

“Yes?” She turned around to face her assistant with a cheeky grin.  

Ava smiled slightly then straighten her face. “You have an urgent call request from Mr. Stark.”  

“Tony? Did he say…” 

“No, just that he needed to reach you as soon as possible.”  

Belle reached for her phone and called Tony while inviting Ava to sit.  She waited for a moment before, “Hello?” 

“Hi Tony!” 

“Hey Belle.  How are you doing?” 

“Well, I’m a whale, so there is that.”  

“The most beautiful whale,” he replied with a laugh.  “So, you are aware that Delilah’s hearing is coming up correct?” 

“Steve informed me.”  Belle chewed on her lip before placing the call on speaker.  

“She has a request before trial.”  

“Has it been denied?” 

“No, not yet because I need to finish asking.”  

“Asking what?”  

“She wants to see you.  You and Barnes.  Barnes has already denied the request. To be fair, I also told Steve, but he said it was up to you.”  

Belle stood up to look out the window of her office. “How much time do I have?” 

“Couple of days. It might be good.  Give you closure.”  

She pinched the bridge of her nose.  “Thanks Tony.”  

“Any time kid. Take care of my niece and nephew.”  

“Always.”  She hung up and looked at Ava, who had a look of sympathy. “Ava, is Steve here or at the office?”  

“He’s here in his office on a conference call.  Devon already cleared his schedule for right after.”  

“Alright. What’s up after that?” 

“You have the charity meeting with Mrs. Potts-Stark for the Stark Foundation and then Miss Maximoff and Mrs. Romanoff – Wilson will be joining the both of you for lunch at the plaza before you come back to get ready for the gala.”  

“Alright.”  She looked at the picture of her and Steve at the wedding and played with her rings. “Ava, please make arrangements for us to go to the holding cells.  I’m going to talk with Steve, but I want to take care of this right away.”  

“Yes, ma’am.”  Ava stopped.  “Sorry.”  

“Its alright.” Belle smiled. “Is Bucky available?” 

Ava let her tablet slip a little at Bucky’s name.  “Oh, yes he’s in the gym.”  She flushed slightly.  

“Ok, I’m going to go see him.  Please let me know when Steve is available.” She got up slowly but made her way to the gym.  As she walked in, she could see Bucky hitting the heavy bag.  “Bucky?” 

He turned and saw she was looking at him with concern.  “Hey sweetheart. You ok?”  

“Are you ok?” 

“Just processing.”  

“Lila?” 

He bowed his head.  “Yeah. Stark?” 

“Yeah.  Told me what she wanted.  Gonna talk to Stevie. But I’m headed thereafter.  Would you like to go with me?” 

Bucky looked at her questionably. “Clint can’t take you?” 

“I’m sure he can.  Just thought I’d ask.” She turned to leave.  

“I hate her,” she heard.  She turned back.  “I hate that she used me to get to you.  That I couldn’t protect you.  She used me and I hate her.”  He sat on the bench.  “I was in love with her and I hadn’t told her but the feelings haven’t gone all the way yet.”  

“Bucky,” Belle said as she sat next to him and took his hand. “If you want her to know, tell her. If you just want her to know how hurt she left you, tell her. But it’s not a sign of weakness.  It’s a sign of growth.”  

“She hurt you, Belle.”  

“Yes, she did.  Which is what I’m going to tell her.  I need to do this for my children.  Having hate in my heart for her is just going to poison them.”  

“I’m glad,” Steve said, walking into the gym.  “She’s right Buck. It might allow you to move on.”  

Bucky sighed and shook his head and then froze when he saw Ava standing in the doorway. “H-Hi.”  

Ava blushed. “Belle I was just going to tell you that Mr. Rogers had finished but I see he found you.”  She turned to leave but stopped.  “Mr. Barnes, opening your heart to someone takes a lot of courage.  But it takes more courage to tell someone the truth, especially when they hurt you.  I hope that helps your confliction.”  

Bucky’s mouth opened slightly as the young woman walked out of the gym. “Hey Buck, you have a bit of drool there,” Steve teased, pointing to a corner of his mouth.  

“Shut up, punk.”  He grabbed his towel to wipe his face and hide the blush creeping up his neck. “We can leave in half hour.”  

“Perfect.  Ava and I will be ready.”  She smiled at him, and he smiled back. He retreated to his room to clean up and Steve wrapped his arms around his wife.  

‘I know what you’re doing, sweet pea.’  

“I’m not doing anything except letting nature run its course.”  She looked up.  “Will you come with me?” 

“Devon already cleared my schedule. I think its very brave love.”  

“I just want our children to be born in love and forgiveness even if we don’t forget.”  

Belle held Steve’s hand as she walked into the cells at the federal building with Bucky walking behind them.  Tony had arranged for Lila to meet them in a room, rather than the cells and had guards posted around.  “I’ll wait outside,” Bucky said.  

Belle frowned, “I thought you wanted to talk to her?” 

“I just want to see her.  Please just tell her I’ve moved on.”  Bucky took his post outside the door.  

Steve guided Belle in to see her former best friend, sitting in orange, chained to the table. “Hello Lila.”  

“Belle, wow. You look, well pregnant.” Lila gave her a once over.  

“Thanks.” Belle chewed her lip.  “How are you?” 

“Been better.  Made a deal with the US Attorney. Ten years with lifetime probation. Better than death.”  

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, my parents set me up with an account for when I get out but then I’m cut off. They won’t continue to support a traitor.  Their words.  Guess I deserve that.”  Lila looked at Belle right in the eyes.  “I’m so sorry Belle.  I was jealous that you got everything I wanted.  And Sharon, she told me it was the only way.”  

“You wanted Steve?” Steve’s grip tighten slightly on Belle. 

“No, no, I wanted to be with Bucky, but I was told, wrongly, that Bucky wanted you and that made me so mad. Was showing “evidence” that Bucky and Steve had an arrangement with you.  It didn’t make sense  but Sharon, she’s good. Doesn’t excuse what I did.” 

Belle looked at Lila with a completely shocked face. “Bucky and I are friends.  Best friends. I would have never done that to you.”  

Lila shrugged. “I knew about your dad but I didn’t think the innocent thing was real.  Not after Brock.” 

“Brock was gathering information on me.  He didn’t love or care about me. What changed in you? You used to be smart, sweet.” 

“I fell in love and I thought it was being taken from me. You have no idea what its like to live in my family’s shadow, in yours.  Oh that Belle, so strong, so smart. You got everything I ever wanted except for Bucky but I was lied to about that as well.  Sharon was convinced that you all were in some reverse harem or something. And I was weak.  I believed her.  When I watched Bucky sacrifice his safety to keep you safe I knew that it was different.  That the love you two shared was different from Steve.  By then it was too late and you were gone.” 

“I’m sorry you felt that way Li. You could have just talked to me, to Bucky, to any of us to get the truth.  Instead, you lost us all.” 

“I know,” Lila let a tear fall. She hesitated before asking, “How is he?” 

Belle contemplated what to say.  But she resolved.  “He’s hurting but he’s moving on.  He sends his regards but doesn’t want to see you.”  

“I understand.  Please just let him know that I did love him and that I’m sorry.”  

“I’ll pass the message.” Belle tried to stand up and Steve held onto her.  “I hope you find peace Lila.”  

“I’m so sorry again Belle.”  

Belle turned and walked away, not giving her forgiveness but forgiving her in her heart.  Bucky stood tall, red rimmed eyes from hearing an explanation. He smiled at Belle and walked in front to guide the couple out.  Steve knew it wasn’t the time to push. 

The gala was nothing special, just a way to raise money for charity.  The table was filled with the Avengers and guest.  Only Wanda and Vision were missing, having taken a trip to Edinburgh.  Steve kept his wife in his arms for most of the night, receiving congratulations on their impending changes. Belle got tired 30 minutes in, and he guided her to their table.  “I seem to remember the first time we went to a gala,” he whispered in her ear, kissing that sensitive spot on her neck.  “You intrigued me, sweet pea.”  

“I was terrified,” she replied with a soft look. “You intimidated me.  So powerful, so sexy.”  He growled in response. “It was electrifying when we danced.  Its why I ran.”  

“I’m glad I chased you, my love.”  

“I’m glad you chased me as well. I’ve never been happier.” 

He kissed her softly at first, deepening it a little more until a throat cleared from behind them. Steve looked at the interrupter to see Sam smirking at them.  “Sorry to interrupt but Steve, they are asking for you.”  

“Stupid speech,” he mumbled.  He kissed Belle’s forehead.  “I’ll be right back love.”  

“Wait,” she took a napkin and wiped the lipstick from his mouth. “I love you.”  

“Love you too.”  The rest of her table mates joined her as Steve made his way up front. Belle loves listening to her husband speak but her attention is drawn to Ava and Bucky.  She watched as Bucky stretched his arms and casually dropped his right arm on the back of her chair. Ava stiffened for a second at the action before relaxing again.  Belle snickered to herself as Bucky softly stroked Ava’s shoulder.   

Nat caught Belle’s eye with a smirk at Bucky’s actions. Applause from the crowd brought back their attention as Steve finished up his speech.  Belle took out her phone and sent him a text.  

B: Ask her to dance 

She watched as Bucky pulled out his phone and then shot her a look.  She smiled innocently at him, and he just shook his head.  He leaned over and said something to Ava, who blushed but nodded.  He stood up and offered his hand.  Ava looked back at Belle, and she nodded, encouraging the girl.  The pair headed to the dance floor as Nat came over and gave her a subtle high-five. “Nice work.”  

“I knew red was her color.”  Belle took a sip of her water. “Look.” She nodded to the dance floor to see both Ava and Bucky laughing at something before Ava leaned her head against him. “Aww.”  

Steve came to sit next to his wife and saw his best friend dancing. “Well, I’ll be.”  

“Happiness looks good on him,” Belle commented.  They watched as the song ended and Bucky led Ava out to the garden.  She focused on everyone else for a while, enjoying the music. 

“Whatcha thinking about, sweet pea?” 

“How happy I am.  Even after everything, I’m so happy.” She glanced over to the garden to see Bucky and Ava share a sweet kiss.  

Yes, everything was falling back into place.   

A happy, wonderful place.  

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@kmc1989

@lokislady82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #yours submissively #chris evans fanfiction #steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #Steve Rogers x OFC #Bucky barnes #chris evans #mcu fanfiction #Steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #chris evans au #avengers au #cliffhanger queen

[steviespanties]

S2, that showdown at the Byers, except Billy is a little less wound up and Steve is a little more wound up.

Steve is still kinda bitter about Nancy but only in a "we're over but we still need to talk for that closure" kind of way because they did actually break up when Nancy admitted she didnt love him. But Steve still feels he deserves an explanation for the whole "you're bullshit" thing.

But then there's Billy, who flirts with him, and riles him up, and who gave him that absolutely filthy look while they were both naked. And Steve Wants. Cos Billy has been taunting him for what feels like weeks, and then that whole thing in the shower, and his tongue????

Devastating.

And now he's here, wearing that shirt and flirting and his stupid tongue still isnt in his mouth and Steve's got adrenaline pumping from the fighting and the running and the protecting.

And he could just throw a punch or deny Max is here and that would technically help them. But Steve doesnt want to hurt Billy, doesnt want to punch him, Steve wants to get Railed.

All of this culminates in Steve just backing Billy up towards his car before kissing the absolute life out of him.

And Billy is initially like "what the fuck" but also this is his pretty boy who he has been trying to get with since he rolled into this shitty town so yeah fuck everything else lets do this.

Billy flips them, they have the messiest make out session of potentially all time right on the hood of Billy's Camaro. Which is absolutely doing things for both of them.

Unfortunately they dont have time to get any further because then they have the whole "monsters are real lets go set some on fire" conversation.

But then after they drag themselves out of the burning tunnels and drop the kids back at the Byers' they make their excuse that they are going to get Steve's car. Then they drive out into the woods and Billy takes Steve apart in the backseat of his Camaro.

sdfghj omg I love that, thank you so much Anon!!!!🥰💕💕

They'd be so high on adrenaline and knowing they survived something as terrifying as the tunnels together- and Steve's a hormonal mess, just like Billy, probably hasn't gotten laid in a while since Nancy has been struggling too much.

So he's horny. And here's someone who wants him, who clearly has been flirting with Steve in his stupid, overly aggressive way while practically undressing Steve with his eyes. Steve wants to be wanted. He's still heartsore and desperate for... something. For touch. For affection. For someone who won't fucking lie to him.

Billy Hargrove is not a liar. He's an asshole, sure. He may not say everything that's on his mind.

But he invites Steve on a ride once they've dropped off the kids. Looks at Steve like he's seizing him up, not quite certain of how Steve will react when he offers "let's pick things up where we left off, huh?"

It's a tempting offer. Who is Steve to resist? He jumps into Billy's car. Lets warm hands grab his jacket and drag him to the backseat, the strength of another guy manhandling him a shocking, unexpected thrill that get him hard so fast he gets a bit dizzy.

Or maybe that's the lack of oxygen from making out with Billy. Again.

Because Billy Hargrove, as he's already discovered, is very good with his mouth. Even better with his hands, when they hungrily roam over Steve's body- first through fabric, then right on his skin and then lube-slick inside him.

oh god oh god oh god, is all Steve's mind can chant by that point. He's so loose. So stretched out already. Overwhelmed with the way Billy has gone sweat-slick and flushed and beautiful between his legs, muttering how he can't believe Steve is letting him do this. Cock thick and hard between his thighs, promising to fill Steve up even more.

It's a different sort of excitement, the moments leading up to Billy pushing into him. Their breaths mingle. The head pops in. Steve whimpers. Billy pushes forward in slow, unrelenting movement and moans low and drawn out. It's enough to drive a guy crazy, turn him wild and clawing and high on pleasure that's hard to comprehend. It's perfect.

#harringrove #asks #i like the idea of steve feeling guilty for 'using' billy at first #but neither of them is in love at this point and billy is TOTALLY not smitten with the heartbroken pretty boi of his dreams #anyways they totally fuck again and start hanging out and falling in love like complete idiots<333

[mochiswifey]

CAUTION

Kanji Mochizuki X Yakuza Princess

Sequel to Skeletons

CW: Angst. Smut. I wanted to capture the mentality of being betrayed and trying to save a failing marriage. So, expect the character to be a mess and have a back-and-forth mindset.

“Is that for me?” He asks as he slowly enters the kitchen.

The voice you once loved so much makes your skin itch now. As if you were bitten by millions of insects.

You didn’t dare to look at him and kept on preparing the lunchbox.

After finding out that you were alive and pregnant Kanji was overjoyed. Although…. He was also infuriated at the fact you chose to hide under Shion’s protection. But all of that means nothing now.

Even thought you were reluctant to leave Shion… You came with him because you love him? And for him that’s all that matters.

“Hey…” He rested his chin on your shoulder as he wrapped his enormous arms around your waist.

You froze like a haunted statue.

You didn’t want to upset him but his touch. The touch that you once crave now makes you nauseous.

“K-Kanji. You never ate the lunch I packed you. You threw them away remember?”

You tried your best to hide the devastation but your voice betrayed you.

He knew.

He knew what you were feeling but he has no idea how to give you a remedy.

There was an awful silence after that.

It was painful seeing him with a woman so beautiful and so mature- it was painful to see him with the woman you’ve tried to turn into.

But it was also painful to learn that all of the things you did meant nothing to him.

It was painful to know the gifts you gave him went to his men like it was just trash from the moment he received them.

It was painful to know that he always threw away the lunches you packed him.

It was once bliss to be with him now? It’s painful to be with him.

Because now you know that everything was a house of cards.

And because you know that he only started loving you because he lost the woman he thought loved him.

“This is for Shion.”

You pry his hands off of you and moved to grab the bag you sewed.

Kanji stood at the place you left him until you finished packing Shion’s lunch.

You didn’t have the courage to look at him. It wasn’t fear that you’re feeling. It was disgust and anger.

“I’ll eat it. Please make my lunch too.”

You felt your heart ache. And the want to shed tears suddenly appears.

His voice sounded so broken and so regretful. It’s because Kanji is truly regretting the way he treated you. The way he didn’t realize that you’re the only one who truly loved him.

But it won’t change the fact that he once wanted you dead.

It won’t change the fact that he loved a different woman.

It won’t change the fact that if only the woman he loved wasn’t a traitor… His view of you wouldn't have changed.

Even he won’t deny the truth that if only his perfect mistress didn’t betray and lie to him. He would still see you as nothing. He would still despise and wished you to be dead.

He only loved you because he lost her.

“I- I don’t think you should eat my cooking.” You tell him softly as you slowly turn around to face him. You weren’t sure how to answer his request but you’re not up for it.

“I’m not a good cook. I’m sure it tasted terrible that it made you throw away every single lunch I made. I don’t want to burden you with my horrible cooking-“

“No! You’re a great cook” He stops you.

“Then w-why?”

Your voice cracked and it was enough to express your sorrows.

You already knew why.

But you needed to hear it from him. It’s not because you want closure. But because you want more reason to loathe him that no matter how much he seemingly changed into a saint you’ll never forgive him.

His eyes were glossy and he was holding back his tears. Your eyes were the same as his. Both of you were devastated but for different reasons.

5:00 am.

You were up and already in the kitchen making him breakfast and lunch.

A smile on your face as you pour your heart into his food yet all of it ends up in the garbage.

He threw it all away while Shion ate all of it even if it’s not something he wants or even if it tasted a little bland.

He opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted when the doorbell rang. You chuckled before turning around and grabbing the food you made.

“Hey!” You greet Shion as you hand him his lunch.

“Nice! Thank you so much!” He winks at you as he examines the bag.

“Wait. Is this hand made?”

“Yup. I got bored so I crafted you a lunch-bag”

Hearing the two of you get along made Kanji furious.

You’re his woman.

But then again. He treated you like shit.

You were peacefully sleeping until you woke up to feel his body pressed against yours.

“You’re awake.” He whispers behind your ear making your heart beat race.

You were never this quiet. You were loud and talkative. You’ve always asked him about his day at work, tell him stories, and myths, you talk about anything.

Now you barely say a word to him.

“What time is it?” You asked and you felt him lift his arm up looking at his watch.

It is the same watch as the one Shion has. He got it because you told Shion the watch looks good on him.

Kanji is still waiting for your compliment.

“3:26”

“I see.”

“You used to always talk around this time. You talked to me about everything.”

“I did.”

Kanji kissed the back of your ear before running his hand up and down to your swollen belly.

“Would you like to tell me anything?”

He was trying to make you open your heart to him once more.

“No…. I’ll go back to sleeping.”

“I- I see.”

You closed your eyes hoping to feel a deep slumber but his presence was too much for you.

“I love you.”

You’ll whisper to him every night as you face his back. Hoping he’ll say it to you. But he never did.

“I love you.” He says this time but you said nothing.

He knows that you're not asleep and that you've heard him perfectly fine. It hurts him.

Because all he wants now is for you to love him.

Waking up you expected him to be gone but he was still by your side. It would've been nice if he did the same while you were still in love with him. He sat up and removed a piece of your hair that is covering your face

"Good morning." He says before placing a kiss on your swollen belly.

"You're late for work." Kanji chuckled and you weren't sure if it's because he's amused or if he noticed the eagerness of you to see him gone.

"It's fine. You're more important."

"I have work. It's fucking important don't you get it?"

It's silly to remember those words. But that's what he would always say when you try to make him stay. Though, now. It's clear that he wasn't going to work but rather to his mistress.

"Tell me. What would we name our kid?" He turns your face with his thumb and leaned closer to you. His cock pressed up against the crack of your ass almost making you moan.

"K-kanji."

"Hmm?" He playfully hovers his lips to yours. His caramel eyes were glued to yours and you hated the closeness.

Because it reminded you the days where you were in love with him.

"You liked being spoon didn't you?"

"I- I"

"What?"

You tried to turn your face away from him but he gripped on your chin and licked your lips making you squirm.

"Shh... don't fight."

“N-no. I don’t want-“

“You love me don’t you?”

“P-please don’t do this. I can’t- argh!” A loud scream came out of your mouth and you gripped on his arms digging your nails on his flesh.

“Baby- what-“ Kanji eyes widen in horror as he felt something wet soak his pants.

“M-my water broke.” You whisper trying to catch your breath.

“You’re not due until next-“

“F-fuck! I know you want me dead but please! P-please I want our child to live. T-take me to the hospital.”

He was mortified to hear your words. He felt his heart stabbed by a dagger.

Do you still think he hates you?

He did but now? He loves you and you’re his life. Why can’t you get it?

He was puzzled and hurt but he threw that away because in that instant your life and the child you two created are on the line.

He hopped down from the bed and carefully carried you to his car.

“Gosh…. It hurts so bad.” Your vision was blurry and the contraction is getting worse.

Your mother had the same experience during her pregnancy with you. You were a pain from the start. So, it’s no wonder for you that your mother never liked you.

“Shh… don’t worry. It’s fine. I’m here. Nothing bad will happen.” Kanji comforts you as he took your pale hand and placed kisses on it.

“I’m scared…”

You whispered sweat dripping from your forehead.

“N-no. Don’t be. We have the best doctors. You’ll be fine.” He says and as the pain starts to worsen you were glad he was able to drive the car fast enough while maintaining your safety and arrive at the hospital.

The doctors were terrified at the fact you’re giving birth prematurely. Not only yours and your baby’s life are on the line the doctors’s life too.

They know they will die with you if they fail to deliver the baby.

“Gosh… K-Kanji.”

After getting dressed into a hospital gown your doctor told you that you weren’t dilated enough so you laid on the bed with Kanji sitting by your side never letting your hand go.

“I-I I hate you.” You whisper but unlike the other times it was lighthearted and it made him chuckle despite hating the fact that you’re in pain.

“W-why? What did I do now.” He asked before placing a kiss on your hand again.

“Y-you’re fucking huge. I know our baby w-will be big too.” He rolled his eyes before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“We should’ve had the doctor tell us the gender-“

“It’s better as a surprise.” You cut him off before pointing at the water in the nightstand. Kanji nodded and handed it to you.

“F-fuck. If I die-“

“You’re not going to-“

“But if I did.” You’re tired but you manage to use your strength to make him listen.

“I-if I die. Please take care of our child.”

“You won’t die okay? You’ll be with me and I’ll be with you even after the end.” He holds your hand tighter and leaned his forehead against yours.

A dreadful feeling spread across your chest as you realize this moment was supposed to be of union. But you cannot push yourself to have the same feeling because the betrayal he did still hurts.

You contemplated on asking him but… the pain of the past pushed you to do so.

“I don’t look like her.”

“Stop.” He immediately dismisses you.

“You owe me this much. Please… tell me everything I want to know.” Kanji didn’t want to talk about her but you’re right. He owes you this much.

“I- I loved you. I loved you so much. Remember the first time I made you lunch? I took cooking lessons for half a year just to make sure it wasn’t bad. But… did you even taste it? Or did you throw it away? Or did-“

“I opened it and thought of it as trash. That day she came to my office and had lunch made for me. I- I threw it away but if I knew she was a traitor-“ You hushed him before closing your eyes.

It hurts.

Both of you are hurting.

“Before you found out she was a traitor did you start to feel something for me? Even if…. Even just a pinched?”

“I love you now-“

“Please….”

“No.” He told the harsh truth. He only realized he loves you after you revealed the betrayal his mistress did.

“But I told you right? The night I found you at Shion’s I would love you till the end of times-“

“Don’t. Please. C-can we pretend that everything didn’t happen. Just for this day? Can we pretend that we got married, you never betrayed me, you loved me and now we’re having our first child?” You stopped him from making promises and as much as he wanted to continue he nodded and placed his lips over yours.

“I love you.”

He says and he hopes that you’ll say it back even if it’s just a lie but you didn’t.

He knew you’re not a liar but he hopes you will someday tell him a white lie. Just once and he’ll be happy forever.

After 5 hours of excruciating pain you were finally 10cm dilated and was ready to give birth.

“Argh!” You wanted to curse but the pain was too much you couldn’t form words.

“You’re doing good…” Your husband smiles at you as he lets you dig your nails on his arms. He has your legs lifted on the air to help you push out the baby.

“I-I I I can’t. It hurts so m-much argh!” Another sharp excruciating pain.

“Just a little. You’re doing good. Three more push and the baby will be out.” The doctors says and it gave you hope.

Your mind was fuzzy and all you want is to see your baby. To see-

“Last push.”

“Gosh!” One last grip and you hear your baby crying. Tears flooded your eyes as you felt victory over everything.

“Congratulations it’s a boy.” The doctor says before placing your baby on your chest.

“He’s so beautiful.” Kanji kissed your forehead and you felt his tear drop on your shoulder.

“We created him. Of course he is.”

Those words gave Kanji hope that maybe… you’ll love him again.

“Yes.” He simply smiles.

“Oh hell nah! My nephew!” Shion burst in your room holding dozens of present.

“The hell are you doing here?” Kanji got infuriated as you thought he would be but you quickly smack his bicep making him sit back down.

“Come Shion. Say hello to Kenji.”

Kanji smiled after hearing the name you chose for your baby boy. Before Shion burst in the two of you were talking about baby names and you kept saying that Kenji looks exactly like Kanji except for the eyebrow and the eye color.

“Hey Kenji. I’m your cool uncle. I’m a cool uncle not like a lame ass boring ass uncle. If you want drugs-“

“Hey!” You scolded him making him move away laughing.

“Joke!”

“Hey Shion why don’t you get out and let us have some peace for a moment.” Kanji interrupted and you rolled your eyes. Now that you’re not pregnant anymore you could easily leave him.

Maybe even fake your own death and live happily with Shion.

“My sister needs me.” Shion stood up for the very first time to Kanji.

Whenever Kanji gets aggressive with him he usually backs down but this time it’s a big no.

Not only you but he also got a nephew to protect from the man who hurt you not long ago.

Just 9 months and 2 days ago to be exact.

“She’s my wife.”

Kanji spat out as he stood. His forehead’s veins popped out as he pulled up to Shion’s face.

Shion knows he wouldn’t win against Kanji but he’s Shion the great leader of the 9th generation black dragons and since when did he care about losing a fight when all he did was lose to all of them.

“I’m the one who saved her from drowning after your pussy ass betrayed her-“

“You fucking-“

“Kanji. Try to harm him and I will never forgive you.” Your voice echoed just as he was about to punch Shion.

His fist stopped midair and Shion gave him a smirk.

“He’s right. He saved me. Took care of me when no one else wanted to…. He placed the smile I lost back to my face so please… I would never forgive myself if something happens to him because of me.” Your voice broke and Kenji started crying.

Kanji stepped away from Shion and returned to your side.

The atmosphere was heavy but Shion remained and the two of you tried your best to uplift the mood.

“You did well.” Kanji spoke after coming back from placing Kenji at the private nursery.

“Thank you husband.” He chuckled before standing behind you and placing his chin on your shoulder. You were irked by his closeness but decide to tolerate it for a few more days.

“What are you doing standing in front of the mirror?” He asked as he runs his hands down to your hips.

“I’m worried for Kenji. I barely gained any weight and I’m scared for his health. Maybe I did something wrong?”

“N-no. You were eating healthy and you were always active. Kenji is in good health. Now you need to rest and get your body back to health.” He comforts you wanting you to know that you did a great job and will always do a great job.

“I can’t wait to feel you again.” He whispers on your ear. Before trying to lift your nightgown.

“K-kanji. I just gave birth.” He stopped trying after he noticed that you were uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… I I want to fuck you so bad.” He confesses and a blush spreads across his cheeks. You almost chuckle at how adorable and helpless he looked.

“Do you…”

“Yes… I think about you every night. I fuck my palms while I imagine you under me. Digging your nails on my back. Biting my lip like you you used to.” His deep voice and dirty talk. It almost made you want to push him down and ride his dick until you got pregnant again but you break the thoughts because it’s just…

You still can’t forget his infidelity.

“I’ll spread my legs wide open for you when I’m ready.” You turned around and placed a kiss on his chest before going back to your bed.

“When will that be?”

“When the crows hair turns white.”

“Kenji! Look! This is an apple!” You show your son a picture of an apple and he picks up the apple toy near him.

“Yes! That’s right. That’s an apple.”

“Kenji.” Kanji suddenly appeared out of nowhere and called out for his son.

“Kenji, papa is back.” You picked up your son and stood up handing him to your husband.

He kisses your boy before trying to kiss you but you stepped away pretending to pick up toys scattered around.

“You’re early-“

“Where’s my kiss?”

“Huh?”

“Kiss me.” He demands as he jiggles Kenji.

“Kenji, Mama is being a bully she doesn’t want to kiss Papa.” Kenji had his hands all over Kanji’s face and your heart flutters seeing him so affectionate to your son.

“Only because Kenji is so adorable.” You tell him before gripping on his waist as a support and tiptoeing.

He made it easier for you to reach his lips by leaning and you quickly peck on his.

“Okay… we’ll do a lot more than that in the bedroom. Anyways, what did my boy do today?” Kanji asks as he leads the two of you to the sofa.

“We went out to the park, museum and a lot of educational park.”

“Why didn’t you invite me?”

“Because I don’t like you.” You let the words slip out of your mouth and he looks at you surprised.

You were surprised at your words as well making you crack up.

“That’s so cold. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.” You apologize as you laugh at your carelessness.

Kanji smiled noticing you were laughing the way you did when you were in love with him. The hope he has for the two of you is starting to grow more and more.

He also noticed that you’re wearing the same attire you were wearing the first few months of your marriage. You’re returning to your old self.

And hopefully the self that loved him.

“I uh… I was hoping to take you and Kenji to the beach.” He shyly ask as he started bouncing Kenji on his lap.

“Beach? Are you sure? I recall you being grumpy every time we go to the beach. You said you hated-“

“I don’t remember saying that. I love the beach.” He tries playing dumb which irked you. It would’ve been better if he just laughed it off. But playing dumb? That’s different bullshit.

“Yeah. And I’m sure you loved me too.”

You sarcastically said before taking Kenji from him and taking him to his room.

Kanji was left dumbfounded on the couch trying to process what just happened.

After putting Kenji to sleep you kissed his chubby stomach, face and thighs before going to your bedroom.

You wanted to take a shower so you started taking off your dress forgetting about your husband.

“Hey-“

“Shit! Knock!” You tell at him as you cover your body. The lack of lighting made it hard to see his face but you immediately panic when he started waking towards you.

“Don’t. Kanji. I don’t wanna have sex with you. I don’t wanna-“ He ignored you and pulled you by your waist slamming your half naked body to his.

“Kanji-“ You look up to him and you were expecting a mischievous smile but there was none.

“You don’t love me anymore don’t you?”

“Kanji-“

He slammed your body down to the bed climbing on top of you.

“What should I do to make you love me again?” He asked you as his hand wrapped around your throat.

You were kicking and squirming under him but you realized it was no use.

“I don’t know. You never did anything to make me fall in love with you in the first place. I was forced to marry you and I loved you. I loved you with all my heart yet you saw none of it and went ahead and fucked your mistress.” You took a breath before continuing.

“You build a family with her behind my back. Y-you you fucking went home to her and the kid you thought was yours while I wait for you to come home! Worried if you’re still alive or not! I killed my brother because he’s the one who told you to make me happy even if it’s a lie! I killed my brother-“ You started screaming the skeletons you’ve hidden for a long time. Your voice became weaker and weaker each sentence until it ended as a broken sound of a defeated woman.

“I killed my only blood because of you.”

You felt his tear drop between the valley of your breast and your breath hitched as he leans down to you.

“I’m in love with you.” He whispers over your lips hoping it would be a magic word.

He hope that it’s enough to make you love him as you did before.

“You only fell for me because she’s gone. What would you do if I said I lied about the documents? What would you do if I told you the documents I presented was forged and told you-“ You bit your lip as you wrapped your hand around his.

“What if I told you she never cheated on you and the kid was yours? Will you still love me?” Kanji didn’t know what to say.

He killed the woman he though he loved because you presented him documents and pictures of her betrayals. But-

What if it’s a lie?

“Will you still love me or will you choke me or give me a worst death than hers?” You asked tears falling from your eyes.

“You’ll kill me right? You’ll hate me. Because you would’ve never loved me if I didn’t show you those right?” You accuse him.

“You’re only in love with me because you lost her.”

He shakes his head before shoving his tongue into your mouth surprising you to the point you let him assault your mouth.

“Hmm-“ You started violently resisting him. He tightens his hold on your throat before giving you a break and piercing his eyes to yours.

“You’re wrong. I won’t care even if it’s a lie. Because now? You’re all I want. And you’ll love me. You’ll love me just the way you did. I’ll make sure of it.” His mouth then went down to suck on your already erected nipple making you squirm even more.

“You’re mine. Until and after I die. You're fucking mine.” He says in between sucking on your bud making your body tingle in pleasure. Though you try to resist, your body still misses the way he fucks you.

“I-I I don’t want you to treat me like you treated her.” You manage to say and he stopped his assault on you.

“If you really love me. Then, make love to me. Show me you really meant what you said. I know you were gentle before but make me feel your love.”

After listening to you he loosen his hold on your throat and fell silent for a few moments before completely letting you go.

He helped you sat up and he reach to open the night lamp on illuminating your face along with his.

“Can I make love to you?” He asks as he gently takes your hand and soothes your palm with his thumb.

“Y-yes…”

He smiles before lifting your chin with his thumb and licking your lips.

“You taste so fucking sweet.”

Kanji then slowly pushed you down deepening the kiss but unlike earlier it wasn’t a selfish act. It’s the two of you exploring each others mouth. Enjoying each other.

“Ah…” A moan escape your mouth as he played with your nipple circling his thumb over it and occasionally pinching and pushing on it.

Kanji surprised you even further when he started slurping on your ear sending tingles all over your body.

Your hands were wrapped around his shoulder but he took off his belt and tied your hands with it. You didn’t resist as you try to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’ll make love to you rather than fuck you.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He says before licking your neck down to your lower abdomen.

“K-Kanji… fuck.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle.” He says before pulling down your pants along with your underwear completely exposing your body to him.

“Fuck you’re so wet.” He pulled you down and rested your legs on his shoulder presenting your cunt to him in a better view.

“Argh…” Another moan escapes your mouth after he ran his soft tongue against your wet and sticky slit.

It was heaven but he wasn’t done. He pushed his tongue inside your hole making you sit up but he pushed you back down restraining you with his strong arms.

“Let me taste you.”

His tongue went up and down to your slit before he pushed it back in to collect your juices. The lewd sound his tongue and lips made sent you to the edge and made you wetter and wetter.

“Hmm- f-fuck. Too m’ch! “

“N-no keep them open for me.”

He says as he sucks to your clit.

"Fill me! P-Please please I need you so fuckin' bad, inside me please?" You pleaded. You felt him smirk before coming back up to lick your neck up to your lips.

"What...? You want me where?" He mischievously asked.

"I-inside me, please? I- I I want your cock inside me. Fill me." He chuckles before placing a soft kiss on your cheek and entering you.

It's been almost a year since the last time the two of you fucked and the sensation of his veiny thick cock slowly entering you was heaven.

"F-fuck, t-tight." He moans his lips hovering over yours and hands gripping your waist.

"B-baby... harder." Your hands were on his chest trembling from the insane pleasure he's giving you.

The way the tip of his cock hits your sweet spot makes you forget all of his sins, all you could think of right now is how much you love the way he fucks you and how much you've been missing this sensation.

He wraps your legs around his waist and leaned down to nibble on your lips. His pace was steady taking his time making sure you were having the best sex in your life, unlike the days when he would practically pound into you like a dog just so he could finish fast and go to his mistress.

"I'll fuckin' come inside you kay? Gonna knock you up again so you'll stay with me forever."

You didn't agree with his opinion but you could always take plan b so, you let him fuck you to oblivion and paint your gummy walls white until his seed was leaking out of your hole and could no longer fit inside you.

You blink a few times trying to adjust to the sunlight coming from the window. You noticed that Kanji was gone from the bed and a bitter laugh came out of your mouth.

He never changes.

You thought before feeling relief to know that you still have a reason to despise him-

"Good morning." He enters the room with a tray of food.

"What-"

"Breakfast in bed?" He smiles as he sets the tray in front of you. Your eyes fell on the perfectly made food. You should be happy instead you felt sick to your stomach.

"D-did you make this?"

"Surprisingly I did."

Not once in the whole marriage has he done this to you, but you can't help but wonder how many times has he done this to her.

"I- I'm not hungry-"

"Please try it-" "I'll try it later- look. I'm still fucking stressed about the fact that if they found out I'm the one who killed my brother they'll fucking kill me okay? So-"

"I won't let them and Mikey has everything under control-"

"Kanji, what if you get bored of me? Will you just throw me away? I have no control over my own fuckin' men and I'm basically on your mercy-"

"Why do you keep thinking of that?"

Once again, you shake your head a bitter smile plastered on your face showing your disbelief.

Yesterday was bliss. But even then you can't help but look back and connect everything to the past.

To his sins.

"Why do I think of that? Are you seriously asking me why?"

"I don't wanna fucking talk to you." You snapped standing up and leaving him alone. He tried to grab your hand but you glared at him and harshly pulled it away from his touch.

Kanji was devastated at the fact that you still have a hatred for him. He had hope that you'll forgive him but it's slowly losing light.

He can't blame you, no one has ever loved you truly without any condition and no one has ever loved you and didn't get bored of you.

There wasn't even a reason why you had fallen for him. But he decide to disregard all of that and now he's experiencing the same treatment he gave you. Only this time he deserves all of it.

He decide to give you space for a few days and that was the biggest mistake he has done next to him cheating on you.

Because in that few days you've decided that you can't love him anymore.

"Shion. I don't know what to do anymore." You confessed. Shion stopped bouncing Kenji on his lap and turned to look at you. His brows furrowed not sure what to say.

"Have you tried counseling?"

"Don't make me laugh. Have you gone to counseling?" You chuckled and threw a question at the man you've replaced your brother with. Only this time he's loyal and the only one who showed you loved without a hefty price.

"No, I'm a broken peanut there's no fixing me." You rolled your eyes and rested your back to the sofa.

"But... broken things are either fixed, replaced or abandoned. It's up to you."

His words echoed and penetrated your soul. Shion was never rational, smart, or understandable. But he gave you help more than anyone could've ever given you.

Yes, there might be a bright future ahead for the three of you but you also know that fixing broken trust will lead to no good ending. At last, you made your choice.

You loved his smiles, his touches, his voice, his smell and, you worshipped the ground he walked on.

But it's all in the past now.

The love turned into misery and there's no fixing it no matter how many promises were made.

Kanji was the only man you loved. And for no apparent reason. He shook your heart to the point you've lost yourself.

But back then it was fine because in exchange of losing yourself you got his smile.

It would've been nice if it was genuine but now you couldn't even keep those memories because they're just a wild deception made by him.

"Kanji." He was surprised to see you standing in front of the door. His heart flutters thinking everything is going back to normal.

You waiting for him to come home so you could eat dinner with him. Planning the amazing life you three will have, vacations, adventures.

"Sorry for making you wait and not coming home for two days, I'll come home every day and I- I wanted to give you space and I'm so sorry if you feel-"

"I can't love you anymore."

You knew there's no point of hiding it.

"W-what?" He couldn't believe- he didn't believe the words he heard.

You pulled out a knife as you walk toward him. His eyes landed on it and thought that maybe you'll stab him and leave to him die-

You took his hand and placed the knife on it instead. Everything slowed down for him.

He didn't understand what you were trying to do but he was too occupied on the devastation of everything happening.

You closed his hand and guided it to point the knife to your heart.

"I can't forgive you."

He says nothing as his eyes filled up with tears.

"I tried to forget everything but the pain you've inflicted on my heart has already corrupted and tainted everything." You lifted your eyes from his chest to his eyes.

He expected to see anger but the pain was what he saw. The pain of knowing there could've been a bright future. A future that wasn't ruined by betrayal.

"I loved you but- I just can't go on with this life with you like nothing had ever happened. It haunts me." You confess.

There would be peaceful nights where you could sleep soundly but there are nights where you'll wake up terrified and sick at the fact that everything has just been a lie to manipulate you.

Even after he confessed that he loves you- It wasn't enough to recreate the trust you had in him.

Years, it's years that he lied to you. It's years that he built a family behind your back stabbing you each time he lies.

"I- I I love you. You don't have to forgive me-"

"You let me leave you with my son or you kill me." You pushed his hand harshly and the tip of the knife started penetrating your skin scaring him.

"N-no." "YOU KILL ME OR LET ME GO!" You screamed trying to push the knife further to your chest-

"I- S-stop. Stop. Please stop." He falls to his knees dropping the knife to the floor. The sound of it hitting the floor echoed along the sobs of the man you've once love.

"I-"

"I will gladly share the custody of Kenji with you. But, there's no future for us."

He clings to you and you let him take the warmth he needs because after this he'll never have the same chance to take it from you.

"It's not only you Kanji. I also made a huge mistake by not taking caution. I shouldn't have fallen for you."

~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading. Replies&Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Plagiarism is a crime.

#kanji mochizuki smut #kanji #mochizuki kanji #kanji mochizuki #tokyo revengers #tokyorev #tokyorev headcanons #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo rev fluff #tokyorev smut #tokyo rev x you #ran headcanons #tokyo revengers sanzu #tokyorev kokonoi #tenjiku #haitani ran #kakucho #bonten sanzu #bonten arc #bonten x reader #bonten mikey #sanzu bonten #sanzu haruchiyo #haruchiyo sanzu #bonten #kakucho hitto #rindou haitani #tokyo rev #mikey angst #mikey smut

[mariacallous]

The best-laid plans of prime ministers and presidents often go awry. But rarely do they backfire as thoroughly as they have for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Netanyahu suddenly faces a long, bloody war with the Palestinians after spending most of his political career sidelining, short-shrifting, and underestimating them, all the while relying on his country’s military superiority—including its Iron Dome anti-missile system—to protect Israel.

And the United States, which went along with Netanyahu’s grand strategy of normalizing relations with the Arab states while humiliating the Palestinians in recent years, suddenly faces the prospect of being pulled back into a region it had desperately wanted to deprioritize. Yet again, the United States must grapple with fundamental issues of Palestinian-Israeli coexistence that date to U.S. President Jimmy Carter’s historic 1978 pact with Egypt and the 1993 Oslo Accords between Israel and the Palestine Liberation Organization.

No one can excuse the horrific atrocities committed by Hamas in the last several days, nor deny Israel’s right to a response, which very likely will entail a full or partial reoccupation of Gaza and the methodical destruction of Hamas. But it’s also clear that Netanyahu’s policies helped create the conditions that led to the bloodiest few days in the history of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

“The horrific event we’ve just experienced—and the prolonged, massive Israeli counteroffensive to follow—cannot be fully understood in isolation from what I consider … a two-layered Netanyahu strategic failure,” said Nimrod Novik, the former senior advisor to the late Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres, who eagerly tried to pursue the Oslo process. First, Netanyahu and his current coalition —“the most extreme ever,” in Novik’s words—downplayed or ignored warnings from Arab signatories under the Abraham Accords about addressing Palestinian grievances, Novik said.

Second, for decades, Netanyahu pursued what Novik called the “illusion” that even under his draconian policies—which turned Gaza into what Human Rights Watch calls “the world’s largest open-air prison”—Hamas would abstain from the kind of attacks on Israel that might jeopardize its hold on power in Gaza, said Novik, who is currently a fellow with the Israel Policy Forum.

“His so-called ‘separation strategy’ rested on two legs: one, solidify Hamas control over Gaza, so that we have ‘an address’ and a governing entity with which to reach understandings over easing of closure in return for cease-fire. Second, weaken the Palestinian Authority, lest it emerges as a viable partner for negotiations, something Netanyahu has been determined to avoid,” Novik said. An Israeli official did not respond to a request for comment.

Netanyahu also pushed a controversial policy of weakening the judiciary inside Israel, in part to prevent the courts from protecting Palestinians from Israeli human rights abuses, which they did only occasionally. That push—described by Netanyahu’s critics as a judicial coup—set off waves of protests in Israel that have continued for months.

To be fair, the prospects for any serious negotiations with the Palestinians, and a two-state solution, have been grim since Hamas took power in Gaza in 2007. But critics say that Netanyahu didn’t even try to negotiate. (The two sides did engage in U.S.-mediated talks under Netanyahu in 2013-2014 but made no real progress.)

On the contrary, it seems clear that since his first stint as prime minister in the late 1990s, Netanyahu has sought to undermine the Oslo Accords—and any prospect for a Palestinian state—even as he pretended to go along with the agreement at first (for example, by signing the Wye River Memorandum in 1998, which edged along the implementation of Oslo). Netanyahu even boasted in remarks that he didn’t realize were being recorded in 2001 that he had “de facto put an end to the Oslo Accords.” Then came a series of disasters that set back, even paralyzed, any prospect for a two-state solution and made Netanyahu’s project of destruction even easier—including the second Palestinian uprising in the West Bank and the aggressive Israeli response.

In 2005, then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon unilaterally withdrew from Gaza. The next year, the George W. Bush administration, pursuing its quixotic democracy agenda in the Middle East, insisted on Palestinian elections. The vote brought Hamas to power, dividing the Palestinian population up until the present day. And then, after Netanyahu won reelection in 2009, he set about completing the work he’d started in the 1990s, frustrating every effort by U.S. President Barack Obama to push for peace while continuing to create new “facts on the ground” in the form of West Bank settlements. Those settlements ensured that the Palestinians would get less and less territory in any final agreement.

Finally, in U.S. President Donald Trump and his ambitious son-in-law, Jared Kushner, Netanyahu found his dream partnership. Trump gave Netanyahu virtual carte blanche to move further into the West Bank and ensure Oslo’s destruction. Then, one by one, Trump began to unilaterally withdraw rights and recognitions from the Palestinians that both sides used to consider “final status” issues to be negotiated under Oslo.

At Kushner’s urging, Trump announced that he was moving the U.S. Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem and ended the formal U.S. relationship with the Palestinian Liberation Organization by closing its office in Washington. The administration also denied a right of return for Palestinians to Israel and pulled funding to support Palestinian refugees—all without offering any real solution regarding the future of the Palestinian people.

In his efforts to ensure that the Palestinians would never get a state, Netanyahu’s various governments ended up weakening Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas—who wanted to negotiate—while strengthening Hamas, which has vowed Israel’s destruction.

With the Palestinians rebuffed, Trump and Netanyahu then forged the Abraham Accords, which normalized relations between Israel and the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain. The agreement was signed in September 2020, two months before Trump’s defeat in the presidential election. U.S. President Joe Biden’s administration mostly endorsed these earlier moves as it attempted to land the biggest deal of all—establishing relations between Israel and Saudi Arabia.

For Netanyahu, all these policies created the conditions for the worst Israeli-Arab war since 1973, said Gilead Sher, the former chief of staff to former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak. “Over the years, he led a failed and misleading security concept. He preferred … the status quo over in-depth political solutions—even transitional or interim—in the West Bank and Gaza. His policy attempted to nearly topple the PA [Palestinian Authority] and strengthen Hamas while fostering Hamas’s sense of impunity and capability.”

Or as Matt Duss, the former foreign-policy advisor to U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders, put it in an email: “A status quo built on repression, which is what the Abraham Accords and the so-called Israel-Saudi ‘normalization’ deal are really about, is invariably fragile and transient.”

Just how fragile has now become all too apparent. Perhaps the biggest mystery remaining—one even more puzzling than Israel’s astonishing failure of intelligence—is why Hamas would want to embark on what could end up being a collective suicide mission for the militant group. Many experts believe that the precipitating factor was the U.S.-led push to normalize relations with Saudi Arabia. This frightened Islamist groups such as Hamas because, if achieved, it would have effectively removed the religious dimension to the conflict, since Saudi Arabia is known as the custodian of the two holiest mosques in Islam.

Iran may well have been a key player here, since Tehran was desperate to stop what it saw as a broader Israeli-Sunni coalition against it in the region. The Wall Street Journal reported on Sunday that Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps has been planning the air, land, and sea attack with Hamas since August (though Hamas spokespeople are denying this). Iran’s proxy in Lebanon, Hezbollah, is also threatening Israel’s northern border if Israel mounts a ground invasion of Gaza.

So now, both Israel and the United States find themselves embroiled in yet another Arab-Israeli war, and the geopolitics of conflict are shifting globally. On Sunday, Biden deployed the U.S. Navy’s most sophisticated aircraft carrier, six other ships, and jets to the Mediterranean, and Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin pledged to send munitions, raising concerns that U.S. military resources—already strained because of the war in Ukraine—could be spread even more thinly. In Moscow, Russian President Vladimir Putin is gleefully predicting the fracturing of the Western coalition against him, since Republican U.S. House of Representatives Speaker Kevin McCarthy was ousted last week by right-wing House members who oppose Ukraine aid. And there are even fears that China could exploit the moment to move on Taiwan.

Even in the best case, the outcome will be ugly, bloody, and long. The Washington Post reported on Monday that U.S. officials expect Israel to launch a ground invasion into Gaza in the next 24 to 48 hours, with Israel’s troops exposed to extreme danger for years to come. And Netanyahu’s bid to warm up to the Arab world may well be in shambles, with Saudi Arabia and the Gulf states once again forced to call for Palestinian rights.

On Saturday, Saudi Arabia issued a statement saying that Israel had ignored “its repeated warnings of the dangers of the explosion of the situation as a result of the continued occupation, and deprivation of the Palestinian people of their legitimate rights.”

And the United States finds itself back to where it started decades ago—pressing Israel to find some kind of accommodation with the Palestinians. On Sunday, a senior administration official told reporters that Washington would continue trying to bring the Israelis and the Palestinians together in face-to-face talks, as Biden has done twice in Aqaba and Sharm el-Sheik, “to find some rules of the road.”

For Netanyahu and Israel, it’s a whole new road, and as yet there are no rules.

[zenthejackal]

Dragon Prince: New Potential

Everyone’s been freaking out about Aaravos being able to control Callum lately. I won’t deny that it’s serious and it is haunting us in the near and far future. But I also remember someone pointing out Aaravos’s expressions when he tried to take control of Callum: he wasn’t smiling until he had full control of him.

Callum did use Dark Magic, and we know now that Aaravos can use that connection, however faint, to manipulate those with it. But I think there’s more to Callum’s reason behind his usage: he did it for protection and love. Most dark spells are used as a shortcut or to gain power for a short time. Coupled with being easy to use, most human mages can become addicted to that feeling. But Callum used it as his desperate gamble to save Rayla and the dragon, Pyrrah. He didn’t do it for power or convenience, but to help save his friend. The fact that this was his reason, and that he’s only used it once, gives reason to Callum having a very small connection to Dark Magic, which means there is a good chance he can break free from Aaravos.

But Callum also suffers from feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness. Before he found his arcanum, he felt like he wasn’t able to do anything worthwhile. The only time he feels good enough is when he’s doing magic. Now that he has it... he still suffers from those feelings thanks to Aaravos. He feels this all-powerful being looking down on him like a cute playing piece to use in his game.

And now Rayla comes into play. While having magic is important for Callum, I don’t think Rayla ever really cares about that when it comes to her feelings for him. She didn’t fall for him because of the cool spells he could do; she fell for him because of who he is. And that’s why it’s her POV that will empower Callum similar to Book 3′s “That’s what makes her Rayla” speech. She needs to show him how she sees him, that he is already strong and dependable, and that his heart is not one of evil.

I’m hoping that during Book 5, the two will finally get the closure they need from Rayla’s disappearance, but also will have deep moments for their own characters to advance. The best way I look at strong relationships is that they two make each other better than they were before. For Callum, I want Rayla to tell him how amazing he is, magic or no magic.

#Callum #Aaravos #Rayla #Rayllum

[guavajaws]

I need someone to talk to me about Pannacotta Fugo plsplspls I just rewatched some of goldenwind and his story is so so sad

It brings up a theory I had a long time ago about phf

Fugo doesn’t die but still gets hurt by the virus when he kills Volpe. Murolo mentions that a stand can CHANGE if a user’s psyche changes

Now I haven’t watched the entirety of jjba in a long time but I think its either implied or outright confirmed that stands are manifestations of the user’s personality, either the worst (or best) trait or they represent specific feelings or emotions or a specific and important point of the users life

It’s obvious that Purple Haze is a manifestation of Fugo’s rage but his rage at WHAT? Maybe the world? Maybe his parents? Maybe himself?

I think a lot of his anger is directed towards his parents but maybe a little at himself. They didn’t make HIM smart. We’re reminded that constantly that Fugo is basically a child prodigy, attending University at 13.

If you’re a highschool student then imagine how much of his LIFE was spent under academics, under pleasing his parents- under the expectation he’d do something truly great. Fugo must wish deeply that some part of him never had to bear the weight of his parents expectations.

He was thrust into University at such a young age and depending on what you’re watching or reading he ended up killing someone to defend himself (anime) or ended up killing someone when they denied him the right to visit the only person who gave him some form of solace in the world (phf) which ended up resulting in his parents throwing away their child prodigy like trash to ‘protect’ their family name

Now that is HORRIFYING. Fugo was used for his incredible intelligence and then thrown out EVEN when the court found him not guilty (yes through the result of a bribe but even if the verdict was bought it would have to mean SOMETHING right?) If you were in Fugo’s shoes you might think that this gifted form of intelligence was some kind of curse. Therefore his stand is born, a manifestation of his rage and self loathing

So what am I getting at?

Fugo spends most of PHF pondering the reason as to why Narancia left him to risk his life and protect Trish. He didn’t understand until Sheila came along and gave him the clarity that he lacked. The novel doesn’t say it outright but it implies that Narancia went because he knew Trish had been betrayed just like him, so he wanted to protect her because he know how much that hurt

This realization leads into Fugo surviving the capsule in his MOUTH while Volpe was destroyed.

This implies that Fugo’s self loathing was almost healed or eased away a little?? That in some way he was maybe able to find a way to not completely love himself but for him to realize that its OK. That the deaths of Bruno, Narancia and Abbachio were out of his control and he shouldn’t blame himself for not going with them??

The virus could be seen as a literal metaphor for self hatred/loathing/anger and Abbachio EXPLICITLY says that during pre phf, Fugo CANNOT keep it from hurting or possibly killing him?? So Fugo finally found the strength to not loathe himself and went to fight which in the end gave him so closure and peace over the deaths of his friends??

Dam,, that hit me hard

#jjba part 5 #golden wind #pannacotta fugo #purple haze feedback #sheila e jojo #cannolo murolo #fugo

[thatgordongirl]

Thoughts on Ghosts Season 4 - Part 1

Mary, Thomas, and Julian 

Disclaimer: There will be spoilers! If you haven’t watched season 4 already, @patcaps has it on his google drive on his blog. Also, before I get into it all, I want to say it was an absolute blast waiting with all of you, making content and keeping the show alive. I hope we get to have just as much fun with the podcast and future seasons, this fandom has a lot of heart that a lot of others have lost overtime. I think it’s because it comes from people don’t just love Ghosts, but the actors, their previous shows, the history, and the positivity brought to every second of every episode. 

Now, where was I? Oh yes, Ghosts. I think it’ll be best if every character is addressed individually as to go fully in-depth with each development and storyline. But talking about the season itself, I have to say there is something different about it compared to other seasons. I think it’s to set the stage for Alison’s rising tension in her marriage and with the Ghosts, maybe  it was preparing for Mary, either way, it’s storyline was a lot tense and melancholic, which you would expect from a show about dead people. 

It instilled a fear that I had forgotten purely because I thought they wouldn’t cross that line. They let a ghost pass on. I had considered it likely at some point, but I thought they’d do it together. Suddenly there’s grief and now there’s a worry about who’s next. It immerses you in the show whilst also building up tension and anxiety. If anything, I thought Robin would have passed on before Mary, maybe even Julian if he found closure. The show won’t be the same without her. 

Anyways, I don’t want to make this too long. 

Mary

She will be missed dearly and I was actually sobbing when she left. I kept waiting for it to be a fake-out, for her to come back and say the basket was only four potatoes high and Alison did it wrong. But she didn’t. She didn’t come back and it affected everyone. Thomas was had a selfless moment for her, Captain nearly cried and comforted Julian. Robin showed his own way of coping for those he’d lost, those he’d probably lose, and how his belief in the stars made it a little better. 

They all showed different ways of grieving for Mary. Captain kept moving and working, trying to distract himself. Fanny denied it and forgot momentarily, maybe he’d mind trying to protect herself from it. Kitty cried, Pat tried to make a comfortable lie. Robin deflected, Julian got angry. They are all different and equally fair ways of grieving. The show captured how everyone deals with things differently. 

Mary finding her voice and talking about her trial was the closure she needed. She told her story, she loved and she lost and she lived. And she’s gone. And it’s going to be hard, as silly as it may sound, to watch the show the same way. Because I think we’ll grieve a little bit too. But Katy Wix did a terrific job showcasing someone silenced learning to speak up and be her true self in the face of scrutiny. 

Thomas

I have to say, I’m impressed by his development throughout this season. It’s not exactly what I expected/hoped, but it’s the build up to more. His moment with Kitty in episode 1 where he tells her she doesn’t have to pretend to like his poetry felt like such a genuine line without him trying to garner sympathy, he really doesn’t want her to pretend. He does it for himself so much already. That being said, I also think it outlines another important relationship of his, with Captain.

Realistically, they shouldn’t get along at all, and they don’t most of the time, but they have similarities I feel they bond over. They both exhibit logical thinking and question Robin’s story, they share similar views on Julian. The Thomas and Pat interactions are very interesting and for a second I swore Pat was treating him like his son. Keeping him in the room and saying he was putting his foot down, Pat acts like a very insistent babysitter who lets you stay up if you’ll kelp him work the microwave. 

The best revelation that we kinda already knew but wasn’t addressed was Thomas making everything about himself. He doesn’t know he’s doing it, he’s just spent so much time obsessing over his work he thinks it’s the only way to operate. And when he realises he’s doing it, he doesn’t deny or defend, he immediately rights his wrong. He makes sure it’s about Mary, even cutting off writing a eulogy, the thing he obsesses over, and puts her above himself. 

Julian

I just want to say before anything, Julian saying Maggie during a time of vulnerability and telling a rare story is very telling. It’s one of the only stories he’s told that hasn’t involved one of his sexual conquests, even if it’s still not really part of his personal life since it’s still in relation to work. Julian feels more guilty about people than he lets on, we know he feels bad about his daughter, but he loved his wife at some point. At least I hope he did. 

Though he doesn’t entirely grasp being virtuous because he wants people to see it and that’s the only reason he does it. Captain did have a point when he said that there is a heart somewhere in Julian. Playing chess with Robin with the big board was hilarious. His way of grieving being anger made so much because of the way he reacts to being insulted. He gets defensive, and yells. Finally, his relationship with Alison is either that drunk uncle who comes around every twenty five years, or more fatherly. When they were scheming together I swear it was a father and a daughter. 

#bbc ghosts #mary bbc ghosts #pat butcher #the captain #julian fawcett #thomas thorne #robin bbc ghosts #katy wix #analysis #ghosts season 4 #bbc ghosts spoilers

[godstrain]

time and time again, he's reminded of how out of place he is, and yet how right at home he feels- in the worst way possible. the more and more he's ventured into this godforsaken mansion, the more he's relived the past. almost as if it was some sort of punishment for everything that he'd done-

he missed the mania. he missed feeling on top of the world, but even more so, he missed his team. his original team. that had shown in his actions time and time again / grasping at the shreds of what was left of that time, of the captain that they'd trusted.

they followed him into hell that night. he'd thrown their loyalty back in their faces- all of them, even if chris was always in the forefront- but he still saw jill and barry and rebecca- and he saw them in the faces of his new companions, little bits and pieces. enough to make him want to do better- to continue to play his part.

this time, he would protect his team. this time, the innocents that still lived would make it out alive- and whatever horrors truly dwelled at the heart of this mansion would be put to rest. and oh, there certainly were horrors! between the girl in the chest lacking a face (kimberly, he'd learned in the aftermath), the little not-tyrant in the incubation chamber (hanako, amber #82, a young woman with a life ahead of her, if they made it out)- the girl in the glass box (ayame, too young for the horrors / he wondered what it was like for the children in raccoon city when everything went wrong. he knows quite well the sufferings of the wesker children- he's one of them, after all), and then the spirit in the junkroom (miku, her medical bracelet is secure on his wrist now- her family deserves closure)-

and now the homunculus-fuji, or maybe he was a tulpa / magic became more and more likely as the night passed. science had never explained ghosts or souls, and from what he had seen, there were no traces of leeches. only the sickly pink goo that reminded him of the remnants of once-human brains blown apart.

he's well aware that rika isn't keen on the sound of gunfire, so he does what a good captain would do- he warns her before he fires. and fire he does. he watches with a sort of numb fascination as the homunculus-tulpa drags itself away, unable to maintain its shape. from there, his body feels like it's on autopilot. he finds himself in an armory facing a beautiful blade. he watches the blade violently reject the stand-in pointman (because there's no replacement for chris redfield, but he can't deny alistair's skill). he watches rika try to move it- he can't see a reason not to try himself. the results are unexpected.

the sword is frigid in his hand, but he lifts it nonetheless. he feels a strange phantom pain- although it isn't so strange, is it? he knows this feeling. it feels like uroboros tearing through him. he closes his eyes and breathes in. a voice in his mind whispers of a righteous path, it threatens to kill him if he strays. i won't, he thinks, or perhaps he whispers aloud- he can barely tell- not that it matters. he must be going mad if he's talking to a sword.

when he puts it down for the others to try, he searches the armory for something more suited to his style. the blade is not his forte, at least not the sword. combat knives had always been easier. he watches as the others find items that seem to suit them well, but of course- because they come from this world. they're not like him. he can't imagine that this place would hold anything- until it did.

bittersweet once more, but it did hold something for him. rather, it was something that was not his, but could be. because he once thought that there would be someone at his side. every time they met, something deep in his chest whispered: there you are, my soulmate. chris' sidearm is a comfort and a reminder- he feels better having this small part of his better half with him- familiar (he thinks of the words unsaid and the paths not taken. the stolen glances where if the pointman had been able to see his eyes, he would've known. he would've known how desperately wesker wanted to just confess and back out and he didn't have to be captain of S.T.A.R.S. - it would be better if he wasn't, because he'd be free to love / it's tragic how he can only live out that life in some haunted painting meant to keep him trapped forever. he knows he can't stay there).

they'll have to face elrick soon. he knows he needs to prepare, because the sword is not his weapon of choice, but maybe he'll prove worthy- somehow, having chris' sidearm makes him feel like he could be. there was a time where chris believed in him.

the sword is not his weapon of choice, but this time there's a presence with him and he knows that it isn't the mansion playing with his mind. because for the first time in far too long, something deep in his chest comes to life.

there you are, my soulmate. i've been looking everywhere for you.

#event ╱ mansion incident 2 #this is long and scattered and i continue chrisker agenda in every verse ever

[shazzeaslightnovels]

YouZitsu 11

Author: Syougo Kinugasa

Illustrator: Tomoseshunsaku

Label: MF Bunko J

Release Date: 25 May 2019

My Score: 4/5

English Release: Seven Seas Entertainment is currently releasing this series in English under the title of Classroom of the Elite.

It’s finally time for the last trial of the 1st year. This time, each class has to pick out activities that they are confident they could win. These activities can be written tests, card games, sports events, etc. Then, classes will be chosen to pair off and face each other in seven of these activities. One member of each class is chosen to head up the “control tower” and decide who is participating in each event. Ayanokouji is chosen to participate in this activity because he got the Protection Point last volume and it seems like Arisu will get her wish: a showdown with Ayanokouji. Meanwhile, Hirata has changed since the events of last volume and the expulsion of Yamauchi. He’s become distant and has been avoiding getting involved in the new trial.

This volume didn’t quite meet my expectations as the climax of the first year arc. I was really expecting the second and third years to have more to do with the plot but I don’t think Nagumo showed up even once this volume. I found that there was a lot of lead-up to the trial but the trial itself was over too quickly and I would have liked to have seen all of the characters that we have seen grow get more of a chance to shine. They get some small moments, like Sudou not being as quick to anger, but I wanted more than that. It didn’t feel like the ending of a series and I guess that’s a good thing as it isn’t and there’s still a side volume and a whole other series to go but I wanted more of a sense of satisfaction and closure.

Still, this is an excellent and entertaining volume so I can’t be too mad. The showdown between Ayanokouji and Arisu is as exciting as expected and I enjoyed that this trial tested Ayanokouji on his weak point: getting to know his classmates. Because he is in charge of which classmate is participating in which event, he needs to know who is good at what and who does not get along with who. Aside from a couple of people, Ayanokouji is closed off from his classmates so of course he knows very little about them so he needs help from Kei, Kikyou, whose information is never guaranteed to be truthful, and Hirata, who is refusing to talk to anyone. This is an interesting situation and it makes Ayanokouji less of an OP protagonist.

Cover boy this time is Kouenji and cover girl is Meiyui. Kouenji is starting to participate more in the trials but the others still don’t understand him. They don’t know when he’s going to show up and do his best for the class or when he’s going to skip the trial entirely. Still, they can’t deny that he is an asset when he does show up so they’ve got to figure out whether they can rely on him this time. Meiyui is a student from China and gets along with everyone. She has a crush on Hirata and is the only one to continue to try to communicate with him as the others see him as a lost cause. I know by now that the characters on the cover do not necessarily get the main focus in the volume but I was expecting these two to get more to do in the climax. At least they actually did have important parts to play in this volume, unlike last volume’s cover characters.

Next up is volume 11.5 which is the true end of the 1st-year arc and I hope it satisfies me more than this volume did in that regard.

#youzitsu #classroom of the elite #syougo kinugasa #tomoseshunsaku #mf bunko j #June 2023 #4 stars