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#I kno they’re joking but it’s makin me mad
awzominator · 3 years
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Idk why but TikTok ppl have been claiming Cassie is homophobic after Urban Legends #4 came out
I hate it a lot tbh
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melo-yello · 5 years
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Baking with the Wakandan Royals would include:
A/n: I've been watching a ton of baking shows lately so I've been mad inspired to write some domestic headcanons.
*I added Shuri
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T'Challa
If you mention to this man you're thinking about baking he's already checking for necessary ingredients quantities and locating the measuring cups
T'Challa's need for order and a systematic approach to life can either be really helpful when you're baking or really annoying
This man takes pride in prepping the pan
I mean oiled, floured, and lined with parchment
T'Challa didn't come to play. He got a cake stuck one time and he's never been the same
I'm tellin you he's a complete ace when it comes to measurements
This man will measure, level, sift, and whisk together the dry ingredients in less than 90 seconds
"Here you go, Love." handing you the bowl and kissing your temple
He even will have the separate little glass bowls in various sizes like he stepped out of his very own cooking show
T'Challa is definitely the clean as you go type
Boi is washing dishes almost as fast you can make them
I've got that, Sweetheart." snatching up dirty bowls and taking them to the sink like clockwork
You already kno he's a stick to the recipe type of guy
You kno better than to tell him "We can just eyeball it" or end any measurement/cook time with "or so"
He will absolutely lecture you on the acute chemistry of baking
After so many times of 'sneaking' in extra pinches of 'this' and 'that' and him catching you'll be forced to put him out to stop his constant meddling
"Challa, I swear to Bast if you say one more thing about the 'balance of baking' and don't get yo ass outta this damn kitchen, Shuri will be an only child!"
He occasionally peeks back in offering his two cents before you glare at him and he slinks back to whatever he's preoccupying himself with
Once everything out of the oven and cooled you can't help but smile and bring T'Challa a goodie for all his efforts and help even if he's kinda a pain
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Erik
He will 100% be minding his own business until he peeps you in the kitchen baking something
He immediately steps in to take over whether he knows what you're making or not
Deadass has slid across a counter, swiped the bowl, stuck the landing and been like "Ok Ma, what am I makin?"
Boi will even take your apron and do it smooth as hell too
The first time you thought he was trying to be freaky by grabbing ya ass and kissin all down ya neck in the kitchen but before you knew it the apron was untied and around his neck and he was stirring the bowl that was just in front of you
Growing up basically raising himself and being bounced around from relative to relative made learning to cook essential and he's a pretty damn good at it
And he knows it
Erik deadass cooks like somebody's Auntie
"Baby, lemme go ahead and do that." Is something you'll hear every step of the way
He'll just stare at the recipe for .5 seconds then be like "Do that shit, That shit right there and it'll be bland as hell!"
Erik starts off measuring but gradually shifts into eyeballing everything
He's prone to add pinches of different spices that are no where to be found in the recipe
Erik refuses to cook in silence and will always throw on one of his playlists
Y'all bop all the way from TLC to Daniel Caesar to Anderson. Paak
When all the baking is done Erik loves to humble brag about his baked treats
"Yea me and Bae, kilt that shit." Or "Oh you know, Babygirl can throw down"
That is until his cousin says something
T'Challa: "These are great."
Erik: "Damn Straight it is, T'Chump! Didn't kno my baby could FUCK it all da way up! Who you think taught her that! Who!"
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M'Baku
*nervous laughter*
M'Baku has an enormous sweet tooth but can't bake to save his life
Not that hasn't tried but most of those trails ended in flames
Since then the great gorrilla has been banned from most of the palace kitchens
Naturally when you ask "Baku, help me bake some cookies."
He's a little hesitant
M'Baku tries to explain to you that his strong suit is really savory and much rather do anything
He really hates that he's not naturally good at it like most things he does (fighting, leading, flirting, etc.)
This gets him out of helping the first few times before you drag him in kitchen promising "Trust me, I can teach you. It can't be that bad."
With M'Baku's help be prepared to remake batters at least twice
He's either heavy handed or extremely light handed there's absolutely no inbetween with him
He's gonna apologize each time he messes up no matter how many times you tell him it's fine
You put him on mixing duty but he gets bored so he starts distracting you
"Oh that look absolutely scrumptious, My Love." grabbing your ass as measure out brown sugar
"That tastes amazing, My Queen." giving you bedroom eyes as he sucks your finger clean of the batter you were about to taste
"You smell like heaven, Dear Heart." nipping at your neck as you place a pan in the oven
This is also the kinda man that eats as you bake
As soon as they hit the cooling racks he's bodying half of them
Putting up high doesn't work either when your mans is 6'5" and can reach all your hiding places
Only on rare occasions do you actually have sweets to show for you efforts if you only make one batch
3 seems to be the sweet spot since M'Baku eats half of 2
He actually does pay attention when you show him how to do things correctly and each time he makes fewer mistakes and he's so proud of himself
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Shuri
Shuri is allergic to anything remotely domestic. Not that its difficult she just isn't interested
Mysteriously she always has all the software updates to do when you ask "Wouldn't it be fun to help me bake something?"
"Yes, My King?!?!" Shuri yells running down the hall after a very confused T'Challa that tells back "Stop calling me that!" as the two run in the opposite direction as you
She's definitely not above making up tech tasks to get out of being forced into baking
"Oh I'd love to but I need to check... Erik's torso to make sure he's healing ok. Too bad he's shy so you can't come." She shrugs pulling Erik into lab before he can get in a word
Or "Oh yes Sergent Barnes, I do have time to look at the mechanics of each synapses of every nerve ending in your arm. This could take a while." practically tackling Bucky as he enters the lab
The only way to get her there is by treachery
"Shuri, come quick! The stan mixer is smoking you have to fix it. Or I'll never bake again." is enough to get her to bolt out of the door and into the kitchen
There's no way she can let your Double Fudge Sea Salt Pecan brownies vanish from her life
"This mixer is absolutely fine, Y/n. Don't scare me like that ev..." trailing off as she turns to see you locking the door to the kitchen
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!"
Once she finds that all exits are blocked off
Vents, windows, and personal secret passages she has installed for times like these
She starts offering 'helpful' advice to really 'expand' your baking horizions
"I'm telling you, Y/n, 1 and 1/4 teaspoons of white vinegar would really help these sweets raise to the ocassion." as she presses record and steps back
You soon learn after several batter explosions and looped videos and gifs sent across the Insta, Twitter, and Snap she can't be trusted
"Oh come on,now! How was I supposed to know it was going to do that?" Laughing as you glare at her wiping yet another batter blow up off your face
Before you accept her advice now it is questioned with "And if I add that it won't end up in my face?"
Shuri will pause then offer something else because she's no evil just mischievous
She pretends to be bored out of her mind the whole time even though she's mentally pocketing all the little steps so she can later try by herself
Every once in a while she'll hit you with an absolutely old school but completely clutch trick you've never heard of before (most likely something she picked up from cooking with Queen Mother) and you pause to look at her
Like "Where the hell did that come from?"
She just shrugs and offers some off the wall flavor combo to throw you off her trail
"Chocolate and peanut butter? Boring. How about anasis and chardonnay." genuinely curious about the combination
Shuri loves to experiment and play with structures and variables esspecially in the kitchen
So tell her your trying to make a souffle or flan and she's there automatically no plots involved or locked doors
Afters all the sweets and practical jokes are out of the oven and cooling and the doors are unlocked
Shuri takes a treat or two and hums looking satisfied with your team work "This was actually fun." mouth half full and gives you a quick hug before leaving
Ever so often she'll come of her own prompting to you wanting to be shown how to make a cookie or some other baked good
And you do but as soon as they're done
She steals like 75% of the goodies as you check some of the few left in the oven and splits them with M'Baku who was already waiting at the door and they run down the hall like small children
Always leaving a note "XOXO, Princess Shuri" and scribbled in the biggest calligraphy that is usually saved for royal documents "Thx from Great Gorrilla,M'Baku" at the scene of the crime
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