#I only write when I’m high

[fairyfortalliance]

the imagery of no health regen…… wounded skin that doesn’t heal…. torn clothes….. burns…. scorch marks….. bite marks….. blood everywhere…… unraveling bandages…… oh…….

#secret life #secret life smp #if i ever write a slsmp fic. everyone is going to be wounded as FUCK #like. i love it when fan artists draw the characters punctured with arrows #or burned after dying to lava/fire #and now with no health regen. how the injuries don’t go away #a worn and ragged green life almost desperate to turn yellow #if not for the full set of health again #stab wounds that don’t close. a heart bleeds until you die. the scratch marks itch under the armour #ohhhhhh it’s so sexy #teammates changing each others bandages bc the blood never stops #infected wounds? that only ease when more hearts are earned from the secret keeper? #i’m so obsessed with this already #like yessssss the player gets weaker and weaker as they lose more hearts #they are so damaged and injured they can barely raise their shield #their whole body aching. scathing with every hit and blow #and then when they gain hearts. and the RELIEF #of scorch marks fading. wounds closing. blood drying. pains easing. broken bones set themselves #so much cruelty in the world. everyone takes that extra little care with each other #no more friendly slaps on the shoulder or even high fives #everyone is just very still. too fatigued to do anything but survive

[lucyvsky]

omg lucy last friday we were writing an essay for world history and i was doing SOSOSO good omg i was eating it UP but it had a TIMELIMIT and i was so upset i literally wrote more than liek everybody in the class but i didnt finish☹️ u and me we are built for writing 40 pages abt history we are yappers at heart

THIS FOREVERRRRRR. i get it i get . we are forever unified in history yapping forever………… literally my teachers used to get so mad at me because i could never finish my papers in time :(( ok i REMEMBER. like in middle school when my teacher was teaching. approximately apush to sixth graders. that i would spend so long writing the short answers i didn’t even GET to the essay for every test i just turned in my essay plan and my teacher pretended i had finished it

#i had a lot to say. about mesopotamia and other things. as it is #BUT. because of apush i’m WAYYYYY better at time limits now i got that shit DOWN!!!!!! #blinks. what was your paper about smile ….. #MWAH MWAH MWAH #i love my middle school history teacher so much it is so funny that he was teaching apush to sixth graders .only reason i got a 5 #when i told him i was majoring in history he was like. i thought for sure you were gonna be a scientist you were so smart and i was like. #well you see you’ve plagued me. with obsessed with history disease. thank you <3 #also happened so often in high school. but i have better writing under pressure skills now #this happens often. on history and theology classes

[nappingpaperclip]

honestly I’m fucking tired of calling my reps and begging them to care

I’ve been calling them over and over and over for the past four months begging and pleading them to speak out about what is obviously genocide

I don’t think they listen, most likely their underpaid interns got instructed to throw notes or voicemails out, but even if they do they don’t fucking care. It’s exhausting.

The White House comment line is only open for 4 hours 4 days of the week during hours most people work. If you’re able to call and wait for 20 minutes to finally speak to an intern they take a brief note and you can only hope they don’t immediately throw it out.

I’ve been doing this since I was a child. begging my reps to care about children being shot in school. begging them to care about my own schools getting bomb and gun threats every year. begging them to care about the fact that people don’t feel safe around cops. begging them to care about the growing number of people in my city becoming jobless and homeless and dying of covid. begging them like a dog to care at all about people’s lives and happiness.

I don’t know. I’m just fuckin’ tired

I won’t give up though. It’s not the only form of activism I do or the main one I give my energy to. I hope the same thing for anyone reading this. You shouldn’t just be boycotting and calling your reps, you should be attending vigils and protests and speaking about the issue of genocide to your friends and family

I’m just tired of people pretending like our representatives actually give a fuck what we think over their lobbyists and investors cause it is and has always been clear to me that they don’t. America has never been a democracy and if you think that you are deluded.

#vent #don’t take this post as permission to give up 👍 #tomorrow I will be calling my reps and playing for them the recording before Hind’s death. I heard it so they will too. #I’m just tired of being told to call my reps whenever an atrocity happens. like they will ever listen #I’m not on the right tax bracket for them to listen #.txt #after the Parkland shooting I participated in a school walkout organized by high schoolers all across the country #a political club at my school had a table to write letters to our reps about gun control. very nice and I of course wrote one #I just wish it would have been read and not immediately thrown out you know #I was in 1st grade recess when I learned about the Sandy Hook shooting #at least when you’re a kid politicians pretend to care about your opinions. #when you are a kid you’re told that your voice matters and that young people should speak up more but when you’re an adult you suddenly #aren’t old enough or mature enough to understand #your thoughts experiences hopes dreams and feelings don’t matter until you’re 35 I guess and even then it will always be something #they only care if you have money to give them

[curiosity-killed]

It is! Possible! That I may be being too hard on myself! Again!!!

#me for most of this fall: I’m not doing enough well enough I’m falling short in everything I am Miserable #the universe lately: you’re such a natural turner / you are so creative / you are doing so much / #you are curious and humble and kind / you have beautiful lines / your writing is lovely #our company did this values in action award and my sister and I were talking abt it last week and how only 5 employees WERENT nominated #and i was like Clearlt I Was Not Nominated #and then today actually read the nominations and I got?? really sweet ones???? #and just had a convo with a colleague abt how I’ve been worried abt underperforming/not doing well enough #and she looked at me like I had literally sprouted a tortoise out of my head and was like #‘’i. think you might have. Very High Standards for yourself. (?????????)’’ #the new director I’ve been working with is so casual abt praise saying how I have beautiful lines and such a strong turn #and just need to relax and breathe #there have been a couple ppl recently reading thru like my entire AO3 and leaving the nicest comments??? #my students are chaotic but at rehearsal they all want to come sit with me and ask me questions and I just #idk I know I have a tendency toward isolation and self-deprecation #but also like. when ur in it (the depressions (?)) it feels so absolute #and i know I have to go thru to get to a place where I can receive the good (emotionally) #and I know I’m a little extra sensitivo bc I‘ve been missing my brother #and specifically how he always always was the person who listened when I needed support #but yeah i. maybe rlly needed this #‘’over and over announcing your place in the family of things’’ #<- current feels #personal #Bc it’s less about positive feedback and more abt feeling like belonging

[cynicalmusings]

‘the most crucial skill that a good drinksmith needs is listening… drinksmithing is all about having conversations with your guests’

tea house owner!reader energy for real

#my mind shot straight there when siobhan said this in the hsr event #hey guys #what if i just steal the concept of the event and write a continuation? #the reader does spy on people and accept bribes for jobs blah blah blah #but they also offer free therapy over tea! #(but only if they like the person if course) (everyone else is getting eavesdropped on) #…i started writing this as a joke but hey it could be fun #if i ever write a continuation of that fic i might do something like that #high cloud quintet members coming for therapy after baiheng dies #reader helping couples talk through problems in their relationship calmly #i’m a sucker for characters who are very elusive and sneaky and cold but when it comes to it have a heart of gold #‘yes i will expose your enemy’s business blah blah but hang on let me help this lost child find their parents first’ #‘oh you’re not being patient? you think your rivalry is more important than this child? actually you can keep the money and leave thank you #[turning to child] ‘now tell me where you last saw your parents’ #and with their connections from the various dealings they’ve had around the xianzhou they’d be really good at dealing with these situations #and with regards to the jing yuan aspect of things i firmly believe he needs somebody with kindness and warmth in them to fall for them #reader can’t all be bribery and dodgy deals #imagining him coming to the shop one day to get some information they’ve gathered or whatever #and they’re like ‘shush not now i’m hearing this girl vent about her shit partner’ #or doing something nice #and he falls even harder #sorry i have gone on an absolute tangent here #i don’t know what demon possessed me #maybe i will write a part two who knows #that reader would certainly be a fun one to flesh out #r’s random thoughts

[lynettethemadscientist]

I cannot get over how good the story of Fallout 4 is. And yet somehow this seems to be what people hate most about it? How?? Honestly if you can’t get immersed in this story then that is a skill issue. Learn to use your imagination. And get some narrative comprehension.

#fallout 4 has set a pretty high bar for me idk how the other fallout games are gonna live up #literally what is better than an inspiring story about #being strong for the sake of others #choosing hope even when circumstances seem hopeless #choosing to be kind even when the world has only ever been cruel #and learning that having a strong purpose in life enables you to endure any amount of suffering #the journey I went on with my Sole Survivor was intense #I’m not saying the writing is perfect #there are aspects of it that could’ve been done better #so it’s not an epic tale that will live on centuries from now #but it is a GREAT story #fallout #fallout 4 #I finally finished the storyline :) #maybe the story isn’t like this in the other routes but in the Minutemen route it is amazing

[m1d-45]

Venti Brainrot eh? I can work with that.

I've read a few fics that say Archons can change their form at will... (minor spoilers for Venti's backstory)

Venti realizing who you are because the wind seems to sing whenever you're around. It's constantly guiding him to you and actively pushes him away from the fake on the throne. He's not stupid, he sees the way the land flourishes wherever you go. The plants and wind seem to cradle you while rejecting the faker outright.

Knowing he can't approach you in his human form (he's seen how you shy away from any and all human contact), he shifts into his wind sprite form to greet you. He's more than happy to show you the love and affection you deserve as the First Guiding Wind. And so what if he keeps quiet about how much he adores the affection you give back? It's not like you mind, ehe!

-sibling anon, who also loves the windy boi

ah, a fellow citizen of brainrot city

anyway the idea of archons changing their forms is so cool actually (and maps to canon bc venti changed into this form so) and i think i’d enjoy small dragon!li as like a weighted blanket pls and thank

but back to the prompt: yes. so much yes.

he’s already tuned into nature quite well, so he can hears how the harmonies turn discordant around the throne room. likewise, he notes that the wind sings of heaven, of liyue, sumeru, of wherever you are, pleading with him to stop the hunt. to pull you away to a castle of gold, filled with whatever you need while keeping you safe from those who dared call you the sinner.

i honestly think a lot of my problems could be solved by simply having Wisp Venti at my side, sagau or not, isekai or not, imposter au or not. like he’s so……..

he comes up to you with a curious trill, wondering if you’ll be receptive to this form- he spends his time floating beside you like one of the companion seelies, and is so much more open to displays of affection than bird!xiao i’m- he openly runs into your hand when he wants pets, he cuddles blatantly into you when it’s time for bed, he leads you towards trees with the freshest apples (or sunsettias, if you’re allergic or don’t like them) and fully expects a pat on the head as a reward. he communicates entirely through sqeaks and chirps—he sounds a lot like the mini seelies actually, at least in my mind, but it has a speech-like pattern to it—and softly hums a little when he’s asleep, like a little white noise machine for you <3

#m1d : [chats] #m1d : [secrets] #sibling anon #BROTHER THAT POSTS BEEN UP FOR LIKE 30 SECONDS?????????? ARE YOU OKAY #not that i mind at all but bRO? #also signing off with the fuckin ‘ehe!’ my brother in christ- #i’m already on the floor head in hands down bad for this little guy and you hit me with the one two combo i’m- #all of this /pos btw #i need to write more venti i need to it’s no longer a want #but the only wips of him are angsty and i just want my boy to do a little lap around my body when he’s excited and end it by flying directly #into my arms with a high squeal an- UGH #FUCK #HES SO #squeezes him squeezes him squeezes him squeezes him squeezes him #speaking of he prolly just pops back after. it’s like a massage. eyes a wind spirit after all he can’t really break- #GOD all i want is for like zhongli to come up post hunt and go …? at venti #and why you don’t know?? it’s venti??? #OH or you go to mondstat and they’re like ‘where’s venti?????’ (more like ‘where the fuck is barbatos and what is he doing’ if you’re jean #or diluc or kaeya or anybody who knows really) but little do they know!! he’s right there baby!!!!!!! #writing essays in the tags again aren’t i- shit sorry— #but not really because. him <3. but also yeah sorry i’ll stop now—

[transannabeth]

*

#the thing about rebooting twilight and trying to fix it #is that the flaws of the source material are so so so deep and go beyond just like #dont be racist this time md cut the imprinting imo #it would involve being more aware of the toxicity of bella and edwards relationship (they won’t do that) #and there’s elements of this story that are so so so so mormon because smeyer IS mormon #not only is Edward painfully controlling; all the cullens are in on it (see book 3) #there’s a strong underlying message of sexism even among the female vampires really where they only get power once a man turns them #every single aspect of the werewolves are racist #like that’s what I’m leaving that as because I don’t have the tag space or spoons #the werewolves in twilight ARE RACIST. smeyer made up stories and mythology and the depections #of the quileute tribe ARE RACIST from the very beginning #and the fact that jasper not only was a high ranking confederate #but also ILLEGALLY JOINED because he was too young? what the fuck #that’s the tip of the iceberg I wrote a whole final paper on twilight and ran out of page space to do the proper dissertation I wanted #even Charlie y’all love Charlie. he has a terrible moment #when Bella punches Jacob after he kisses her because she doesn’t want him to? #Charlie’s reaction made me pissed I can’t remember it exactly #I’m not saying you can’t read twilight #clearly I still talk about it because it’s interesting to me from a writing standpoint with how bad it is #but I don’t think this is one we should try to ‘make better’ #and hot take we don’t need a reboot like barely a decade later #write an original vampire story. learn from twilights mistakes. #i do not think we need to be returning to this ip which is deeply broken and hurtful #yes much of the backlash against twilight was sexist #but there are also valid reasons to dislike and criticize twilight we cannot forget that #unless quileute people are quite literally writing the script #i can see no situation where they are treated with the respect and monetary compensation they deserve #and that is only addressing that singular issue #i don’t even know if a consultant from the quileute tribe would be enough #here’s your rant of the day

[padfootastic]

Sunday Snippet

tagged by by @narcissa-black-supermacy and since i’m incapable of anything except our first cousins au rn, here’s a lil sneak peak.

“Now, I realise Walburga has a—different style but—“

“You can say gaudy, Atta, it’s okay,” Sirius adds cheekily.

“—but it isn’t right that you’ve not been taught how to take care of all this,” she runs a gentle hand down Sirius’ tightly braided hair. “A girl’s hair is, after all, one of her most precious possessions.”

“Take care of all this?” Sirius echoes, wondering what she meant by that. Of course, she knows that most of the reason her hair is the way it is for convenience’s sake. Tying your hair in a loose ponytail or a messy bun only works if you’re a white girl with silky straight hair. Less than ten minutes of keeping her hair unbound and it became pricklier than a thorn bush. She also knows that there’s ways, if she so chooses, that she can look different. She’s seen the other brown girls in her schools noticed their intricate styles that looked nothing like her own strictly ordered, slicked back hair.

Euphemia cups Sirius’ chin with her thumb and forefinger, guiding grey eyes to brown. “You’re beautiful as you are, Sirius, but you shouldn’t have to fight your body, not now nor ever. It’s an extension of yourself, don’t forget treat it as such.”

And as Sirius sits there, still horribly confused, over the course of the next hour, she gets a crash course in the art of taking care of curly hair. Not waves, like she’d always thought, but curls. She’d never realised how similar their hair types were—Effie atta preferred clipping it in the back, daringly open—but after the time they spent together, Sirius was amazed.

Because her aunt was right—she had been fighting parts of her body for her entire life. Hair too unruly? Shove it into a brain or bun tight enough to cut off circulation. Breasts not cooperating? Squeeze into an extra sports bra on top, no matter the strain on her shoulders. Pimples? Popped on sight, no mercy. Not one thing was easy, or gentle.

She never realised her body could be made for gentleness, that she could learn to be so. Sirius had to grow up strong—kids were both cruel and thoughtless, a terrible combination for anyone who looked the way she did and spoke in the accent she had. Mama tried, but she had to spend so much time on her own self that it left little for her. Besides, she’s glad she didn’t learn from her mama; no one wants to be like Walburga, not if they didn’t severely hate themselves. What Sirius knows, she scraped together herself.

open tag for anyone who wants to show off a lil ;) go for it!

#euphemia potter #desi potters #(yes i realise i am stretching the meaning of sunday here but. well. gotta do what ya gotta do) #so it’s cheesy bc i was so high when i wrote this #i wrote like 1k yesterday #most of it for FoD and i’m scared to even touch that one #bc i just know. it’s so ridiculously flowery and emotion-y #ngl tho i do write better when i’m smoked up 💀 things flow much smoother #but yes #this might be my first snippet of this here? #so far i’ve only written potter family moments bc it’s somehow so easy? #(don’t look at me don’t perceive me) #but i really wanna write the bollywood style j/s moments too #anyway enjoyyyy this unedited mess #pen’s writing #first cousin sirius and james au when

[devilsskettle]

whenever i hear a song that i would like if it weren’t for the fact that it was too long, i think about this:

like you can afford to write tangentially if you/your music is already popular and you know that people are going to listen to you no matter what and in fact laud your longer pieces as being genius etc but can you really be releasing 5+ minute long songs without a built-in audience?

#idk. thinking about this because of the new lana album and i think i’d like a lot of these songs better if they were shorter lol #some of these songs drag so much especially when she includes these long sections of like one repeated line over and over again #or like when taylor swift releases the extended version of all too well and everyone freaked out #that’s all good and well but she HAD to release the shorter version first #and she knows she has this huge fanbase that will eat that shit up no matter what she does really #part of it is nostalgia admittedly but i also think the shorter version is just a better song #that song is on the longer side to begin with but 10 minutes???? why #(i did listen to both songs back to back to make sure my opinion was still the same as when the 10 minute version was released & it is lol) #idk! obviously i’m bad at this myself because i write so fucking much to express a simple point but it is more skillful to be able #to say things as effectively and precisely in a more concise way #not saying this ONLY applies to mitski because she’s the one this article is about but she is a good example of it #like being able to express a feeling in just a couple lines that would probably take a less skilled writer like a novel to express #it also reminds me of how my high school latin teacher described how in college he took a class about museum design or something like that #and their first assignment was to write a description of an artifact to tell museum visitors what it was #and every time he submitted a draft the professor would tell him to make it shorter while still communicating the necessary information #until he literally could not make it any shorter than it already was #because you have to assume that people are not gonna read all that! because they won’t unless they have some kind of external motivation to #idk there IS something to be said for including ‘unnecessary’ parts of writing etc obviously there’s nuance #but a lot of the time i think if there isn’t a reason to include something then why include it!

[carcasstohounds]

stephanie brown dies at 16. at 16 and a quarter, she is woken up, screaming and thrashing and attacking, covered in acid green water. at 16 and three quarters, she has a young boy firmly attached to her side, calling her ukhti. she is learning what that word means, and what all the words spoken around her mean, from the woman who watched her rise from the water.

talia explains that she was not the one to retrieve her body, nor did she ask for it, but she did receive it. she explains that she knew bruce once, years ago. stephanie looks into the face of the boy curled up next to her and believes talia. talia says that she will not allow any more robins to be dragged to her doorstep, bodies cold and eyes closed. stephanie sees photos of a young man with the same green eyes as the rest of them, damian on his hip. she sees photos of him with a sword, with a gun, with nothing but his fists. she sees one photo of him as a child and— oh. the bright colors, the boyish grin, the shadow lurking behind him. at 17, stephanie understands.

at 17, stephanie decides that she won’t go back to gotham yet. she can’t. that’s where jason is, the other lost robin, talia tells her. at 17, she trains with staffs, swords, knives, guns, and whips. anything and everything she can get her hands on, even the things b would never let her touch. b thinks she’s dead, and whose fault is that? talia seems to think it’s b’s, but steph isn’t sure. she only knows one thing: this will not happen again. no more dead robins, she swears.

#dc #stephanie brown #talia al ghul #damian wayne #ok so here’s a bit of my au where steph actually dies abs talia accidentally acquires her body #this is NOT steph becomes red hood 2.0 #though she would be a baller red hood #it’s more like. another shadow. a protector of robins and a harasser of batman. #she doesn’t want to take over the crime industry like jason but she does want to stop kids from getting hurt #at least for a little while her main goal is making sure dami graduates high school #and then forcing bruce to only hire adults after that #steph batfam union rep au #also she doesn’t really want to be affiliated with the batfam. she does her own thing unless it’s one of the kiddos in trouble. #bruce hates hates hates it but he can’t stop her tbh. she has talia as a backup. #i’m still working on fleshing out this au but like. here. #i alternate between saying names too much and not enough when i write

[myname-isnia]

Idk why I thought the new year would suddenly bring immense change to me as a person, it was such a childish belief, I can’t believe I let myself fall for it. The years go by but I remain the messed up anxious wreck who starts crying the second she’s left alone with her thoughts. The new year won’t change anything, nothing will

#just look at me #I could very possibly graduate from school in half a year and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life #I can’t take the slightest bit of criticism or else I’ll feel like shit for a week #I need to be staring at a screen at all hours of the day because if I don’t distract myself I will break down #I’m so obsessed with pleasing people that when I can’t fulfill the simplest of requests I want to die #indulging in hobbies. things that are supposed to be enjoyable. feels like hell for me #through all my years of creating there is only one piece I can honestly say I like and am proud of #and I haven’t even touched writing since because I’m scared of not being able to reach that high again #art comes a little easier but I’m only capable of one or two pieces a month #I don’t have anyone irl whom I trust. I’m so lonely that I literally have imaginary friends. at 17 #and I still haven’t figured out my gender or what pronouns I prefer. I don’t even like the name I picked for myself #I could go on forever #I don’t know how anyone puts up with me. I know I wouldn’t if I had the choice #I keep going on and on about how I want to get better. I don’t want to be so miserable all the time #but I just don’t know how #I try to be kinder with myself and I’ve been pretty successful at it but.. it doesn’t help #I can be soft and gentle all I want. it won’t make everything else go away #so there’s nothing left for me to do but cry all alone in my apartment at 2 a.m #I guess

[judasisgayriot]

unless we’re doing this literally and physically then burning the remains I’m not interested

#supreme bitchy hater time. I’ve had enough of this guy meme. lmao #heroes shitposting #actually he’s only fun and funny when he’s being a gleeful cackling villain tbh. like VERY tired of him by s4 but if that’s what he got to #remain instead of the oh he wants to be loved whoopsie 🥺🥺 stuff I would allow it #and be less of a huge bitch. sorry. #fully aware that stuff goes right to some people’s hearts and ids the way other stuff does for me so #genuinely I love that for you. lol. i just also like to be a hater on my own time #(why am I writing a dissertation to justify a joke lol. just don’t want anyone to think I’m like @ing them or anything. #Nathan apologist with no high ground out)

[michi-chelle]

“but i fear that they already got all the best parts of me” goes so hard

#if only this song came out like 6 years ago lol #i’m also nearing the end of season 2 of my free! rewatch and gosh haru’s conflict hits closer to home than ever #and idk if i’m just getting more emotional lately but makoto and haru’s fight in ep 11 deadass made me tear up #when will i stop relating to teenagers real or fictional lmao #part of me wishes i was still a teenager just because being a teenager would explain my sense of purposelessness in everything i do #like taking things one day at a time with a blurry future on a road leading to nowhere #but others having high expectations from you and being sad seeing you so lost #but you just don’t want to let go of what you have now #you don’t want to box your passions in what other people want from you #and going back to the lyrics of the song #you feel like there’s not much you can offer anymore ‘cause you were a ‘gifted’ kid and now you’re just an ordinary person #whose gone complacent to the disappointment of everyone who wants to see you succeed but you feel you don’t have it in you #so again you’re just floating through life trying to enjoy the blessings each day brings again with no clear goal #anyway idk what i’m writing #at the same time i’m glad i’m not a teenager anymore ‘cause that shit sucked #but being a grown adult sucks ass too #i know there doesn’t need to be any purpose in life but #i feel like things’ll be easier if i did have a dream #guess i need a best friend to take me to another country or something to inspire me or something #in other words i’m about to watch one of my fave free eps where rin and haru go to australia #anyway i’m rambling #michi yaps

[totopopopo]

Vibrates. I’m seeing one of my bestest and oldest friends tomorrow for the first time in like a calendar year

#bc she lives in Canada now and we only rly overlap when we’re both visiting Brooklyn for the holidays !!!!! #wooooooooo so excited #it’s almost her birthday and also obv it’s Christmas too so I got her three gifts #the first is a felted hyacinth it’s rly cute and it’s purple which is her color and it’s a flower that’s important bc we learned abt #it’s connotations in Grecoroman mythology and writing together in high school Latin #SO #and I’m also getting her a copy of Gideon the ninth :))) bc every year I get her a book I enjoyed from the previous year :)))) #and also I stole some chocolates from work and put them in a pretty little box :)))) #eeeee so excited

[un-pearable]

yknow it’s definitely very unhealthy to use tumblr as the place to dump my anxiety . like writing out what you’re feeling and translating it into understandable words is a method of processing said feelings but not. like this

#girl i need a therapist . bad. i need to get over my driving issue and this and my other seven million sleeper agent anxiety triggers #i’m doing better than in high school but it’s b a. d #average daily life is better than ‘had an anxiety attack bad enough my lang teacher let me sleep through an essay’ TWICE in back to back wee #ks. and i honestly probably would have failed a few AP exams if covid hadn’t happened. but now i have so much higher expectation s for muswl #myself. so even if day to day i’m better and more social and more productive. when i crash i crash fucking hard #and the consequences are barely escaped. i’ve gotten so damn lucky #the only reason i’m successful is bc my writings good enough to cover for the fact that i procrastinate until literally the last day for #every major essay. and i’m good at memorizing for exams. people can’t tell you’re bullshitting if everyone else in the class sucks atwriting #or is using chatgpt. fuck the big fish in a small pond accusations are true #AGH. jay rose stop. go to bed.