#when will i stop relating to teenagers real or fictional lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

murasaki-murasame · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep10

I’m kinda out of it due to a mix of toothache and painkillers, so bare with me on this one, lmao.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Also lots of Umineko spoilers, probably.

I’m genuinely kinda shocked that this arc STILL isn’t over, but at least it makes a lot more sense now why it ended up being longer than I expected, lol. I still think it probably could have been condensed by an episode or two, but still. It turns out that way more was going on with Satoko behind the scenes in this arc than I thought.

There’s also the whole possibility that Ryukishi might have intentionally laid out the script of Gou/Sotsu so that this whole sequence of Satoko definitively accepting that she’s a witch and killing her humanity happened on the cumulative 34th episode [24 from Gou and now 10 from Sotsu]. I’ve been wondering if anything could actually justify the extremely slow pacing this has had up to this point, but this might actually be dumb enough to make me think it was all worth it, lol.

Also, I’ve been trying to avoid saying it, but I looked at the whole batch of leaks from this arc when they got posted about a month ago, and it looks like we’ve officially covered everything that was in those leaks. I kinda regret looking at them, since it spoiled that Satoko would have an internal conflict that gets expressed literally in usual WTC fashion, but in a funny way I guess I ended up getting a misguided idea of what was going to happen just from looking at the leaks.

For one thing, I completely forgot about the leak of Satoko shooting Teppei until I double checked it a few days ago, so I was mostly just focused on the stuff about her two sides fighting against each other, and I guess I thought it would have made her seem a lot more redeemable than how it ended up actually working out, lol. I thought that it would basically go in the opposite direction and this would signal the start of her spiraling into regret and despair over the course of Nekodamashi, but basically the opposite happened.

I guess this probably answers the question I’ve had of what could stop Satoko from just immediately shooting Rika after the cliffhanger from Nekodamashi, since this raises the possibility of her ‘human side’ literally stopping her from doing it.

Though at this point I’m starting to seriously wonder if there’ll be some big meta twist about how Sotsu has actually been a separate set of loops to what we saw in Gou, and maybe Nekodamashi really did just end in tragedy and then everything got reset. I’ve been toying with that idea in my head for a while, mainly just as a way to try and make Sotsu feel like more than just a literal retread of Gou, but this is giving it a bit more validity as a theory.

For one thing, Eua already implied during Satokowashi that she had a history with Satoko, and going by something Ryukishi said in an interview, there’s already been a time where Satoko called her Eua, so it’s possible that Satokowashi onward is an entirely new loop where both Satoko and Rika have had their memories reset, but Eua still remembers it. Presumably the ‘Gou loop’ would have just ended with failure some way or another, and Eua decided to do it again. She’s given Satoko a pretty definitive failure state in Sotsu, but it’s possible that wasn’t always the case, and up until now she’s been willing to just do it over and over again until she gets the right outcome.

There’s also the theory some people have suggested that maybe the conflict between Satoko’s two halves represented a literal split in the timeline of some kind, with Tataridamashi maybe being a version of events where her human side won out, if only temporarily, and Teppei stayed alive to attack Keiichi at the end of the arc. That’d at least be one way to explain the weirdness of Satoko killing Teppei in this episode after we saw him attack Keiichi at the end of this arc in Gou. I’m not entirely sure I support this exact interpretation, though, even if I like the idea of these maybe being different arcs.

I think that for now my theory about the Teppei situation is that either 1: it was some kind of hallucination from Keiichi, 2: it was a fictionalized account of events that she fed to Ooishi to help trigger his L5 state, or 3: it’s the same sort of thing as the ‘Illusion of Witches’ in Umineko, and we as the audience were directly being shown a fantasy version of events by Satoko. Which is basically the same thing as the second option, but still. Considering how this seems to be barreling it’s way towards being some kind of Umineko prequel, I’ve been wondering if maybe they’d go that far with introducing narrative concepts here that get expanded upon more in Umineko. This would at least be a pretty straightforward example to use to illustrate the idea of how fantasy is used as a device in Umineko. And since there were infamously major issues with people not understanding what Ryukishi was trying to do with those scenes in Umineko ep2 which lead to him having to rewrite ep3 to explain it more clearly, I can see why he might go as far as to include an introduction to this idea in this series.

It’s possible that it’s just a hallucination, but I kinda doubt it at this point. For one thing, it’d feel kinda weird if THIS was a hallucination but not the whole fight scene between Keiichi and Rena, but it’d also just feel kinda weird since Keiichi didn’t really seem to be going L5 in this arc, so it’s kinda hard to imagine him jumping straight to that level of insanity on such short notice.

At least if we assume that this leads into the ending we saw in Tataridamashi, and not something entirely different, I think the real version of events is probably that after leading Keiichi to her house, Satoko attacks him with the bat [or she rigged some kind of trap to knock him out], and then when he wakes up he sees the aftermath of Satoko killing Teppei and he assumes he did it. Though tbh even at the end of Tataridamashi I’m not even sure if Keiichi acknowledged any memory of what happened with Teppei, so I’m not even sure if we need to explain how he’d end up convinced that that version of events happen. For all we know it might just be something that the audience alone was being shown, and from Keiichi’s POV he just gets knocked out and then wakes up in the hospital.

It’s possible that Ooishi ends up attacking him, but I kinda doubt it, at least after how this episode went. Even in the midst of HS, he seemed aware of the fact that Keiichi was at worst just being unwittingly manipulated by the villagers, and that he genuinely thought he was helping her, so I doubt that Satoko would be able to convince him to attack him. And at this point it just seems more likely that Satoko would attack Keiichi herself instead of pointlessly relying on someone else to do it for her.

We do know that he shows up at the festival with the bloody bat, but he could have just entered the house after hearing the commotion of Keiichi getting attacked, and then Satoko told her version of events to him, and he just picked up the bat from the crime scene and took it to the festival.

It’s also worth noting that apparently in the manga version of Tataridamashi, Satoko never even leads Keiichi to her house in the first place, and he just gets shot by Ooishi at the festival, which makes it seem more likely that Keiichi himself isn’t super relevant to how this arc ends. At least in the manga version of the arc, it seems like Ooishi probably just walked in on Teppei’s dead body and then picked up the bat and went on to do his killing spree.

Now I’m also wondering what’ll happen in the next episode, since it seems like they literally only have the festival left to cover before this arc ends. I guess there might just be a lot of content related to what happens with Satoko in the fragment space between this arc and Nekodamashi, but either way it feels like it shouldn’t take long at all to reach the big climax of this arc, especially since Satoko has already steeled her resolve. I mean, I doubt that human-Satoko is gone for good, but the rest of this arc is probably just gonna be witch-Satoko putting her final plans into motion, so there shouldn’t be much to cover there.

There’s a possibility that they’ll also speedrun through all of Nekodamashi from her POV in the next episode, but I kinda doubt it’d go by that fast. In spite of it mostly being a montage from Rika’s POV, and there presumably not being much worth showing about the mechanics and reasoning behind how Satoko set up the different mini-loops there, I think there’s still a fair bit to be shown from her perspective in that arc. For one thing, we’ll probably get a reveal of what was really going on behind the scenes with how Hanyuu suddenly gave Rika a new set of powers, and the whole deal with the sword. And even after the loop montage, I think that stuff will go on behind the scenes with Satoko and Takano to lead into the scene where Takano apologizes to Rika.

At this point my main question is how long it might take to get through all of that, since we only have five episodes left. At least as far as we know. There might be some kind of continuation yet to be announced, but I don’t want to bet on it.

It just feels like there’s a whole lot of stuff left to do before we end this. Like the stuff I’ve mentioned before with the OP having scenes of the club members as teenagers wearing outfits different to their ones from Satokowashi, and the scene of teenage Rika and Satoko fighting in the fragment space.

I’m also wondering at this point if we’ll get some Bernkastel origin story stuff to go with the apparent Lambda origin story. At the very least, they never really explained why she ended up being Featherine’s miko in Umineko, aside from the vague ‘Featherine is probably some version of Hanyuu’ thing. Which has been especially weird since Eua has been using Satoko as her pawn against Rika in this series. But this episode also makes it seem even more likely that Eua doesn’t even like Satoko, and is just using her as a pawn towards a greater goal of entertainment, while probably also playing both sides, so I could see this leading to a situation where she ends up working with Bernkastel instead.

There’s still the question about if this is even a Lambda origin story in the first place, but at this point I think that it’d just be a straight up waste of time if it’s not. That basically feels like the entire purpose of Gou/Sotsu’s existence right now, so if it’s all some sort of elaborate troll, then that just feels like it’d make EVERYONE pissed off. It’d obviously annoy the Umineko fans who like the idea of this being a genuine prequel or tie-in of some kind, but for the people on the opposite end who hate that idea, I don’t think they’d appreciate being told ‘I was just spending nearly 50 episodes tricking you into thinking this was something you’d hate, lol’. It just seems like the worst of both worlds.

Also, I’m pretty open to different variants of how they could pull off the specifics of this being a ‘Lambda origin story’. Like, I still think it’d count if this ends up being set after Umineko and is some kind of elaborate reenactment of how Lambda came to be, or whatever. There’s a lot of specific ways it could be executed, but it’d basically just be the same thing at the end of the day.

I know that witch Satoko right now doesn’t have the same sort of personality that Lambda had, but like with how Beatrice went through multiple design iterations that changed her personality, Satoko might just end up going through more development that makes her closer to the Lambda we know in Umineko. There’s also the fact that the end of Umineko already implied that Bernkastel was just ‘playing the villain’ for fun, so Lambda’s whole personality there might have been somewhat manufactured.

I guess at this point I just have to wonder if we’ll see Satoko come up with the name Lambdadelta for herself, lol. Even back in Higurashi we saw how Rika came up with the name Bernkastel, so if they’re really going in this direction, it’d make sense. I know Satoko is still calling herself Satoko by this point, but just a few episodes ago she denied that she was becoming a witch, and now she’s calling herself one, so these things can change, lol.

Anyway, this whole episode ended up being more Umineko-y than I expected. Even aside from the obvious stuff with them using the term witch, the whole fight between the two Satokos in the fragment space was exactly the sort of thing you’d see in Umineko, down to the fact that it was a gun fight like the love trial was. The imagery of the red cracks on the black background, and the entire screen shattering like glass, also felt like it was lifted straight out of Umineko.

Even if it might be kinda cheesy and forced, the monkey brain part of me really likes this stuff, lol.

Come to think of it, I guess this also makes it a lot more likely in hindsight that her classroom panic attack in this arc really was [at least in part] a representation of her two sides clashing. I think she always planned to do it as a recreation of that scene from Tatarigoroshi, but when it actually started her human side bled through and her genuine regret came through as well. I also assume that all the shots in this arc of her looking uncomfortable or depressed, especially around Teppei, were probably also setting up for this. Which I think is fine, but they probably should have been a little more clear about it, since it came across as her just faking everything, and this ended up feeling more sudden than it should have. I get why people would still see it as being sudden and unearned, but I don’t really think so. They probably should have included more stuff like that during the first two arcs of Sotsu, though.

I’m curious to see if I’ll end up being right about my theory that the sword will end up being used as a plot device to completely separate Satoko’s witch self, and maybe Rika’s as well, into their own beings separate from Rika and Satoko in the ‘real world’. It still feels like the only way to have this actually set up for Umineko without having things end in total tragedy for Rika and Satoko in general.

There’s probably a lot more I could say about this episode, but I think this has gone on long enough as it is, lol.

#murasaki rambles #higurashi #higurashi sotsu

13 notes · View notes

charcubed · 3 years

Note

Don’t be shy, share the take 👀

Okay, so last night I bitched in a mini tag rant saying how everyone on my dash was reblogging the same post with the same bad take and it was driving me bonkers, and then this anon sent me this message, and since I have now seen the post on my dash yet again, I will answer this ask lol.

Also this is an SPN-related topic so anyone not in SPN fandom can keep it moving lol

Before I say anything else though: I’m not out here trying to be a Fun Killer or whatever. Please note how I habitually stay in my lane and simply do not interact with posts that I do not like on this site. Do me the same courtesy and keep scrolling if you don’t like what I am about to say! I am also not trying to shade any mutuals who may have reblogged content I dislike. So... I’m gonna keep this very general, because it’s a wider topic anyway. And I know I’m not the only person who feels this way, based on private conversations (with long-time fans, too).

2 main points of contention:

-If people want to talk badly about Jared they can simply do so without involving Misha or Jensen’s name in it with what is typically bad meme-y format posts, coupled with unwittingly bad takes about Misha and Jensen in the process. I am being vague here on purpose, sorry, but whatever.

-And, mostly: this website is developing a problem with wanting to either call Jensen in particular homophobic or queer without using those exact words, and the result in either instance is people coming up with increasingly convoluted ways to be weird about him or towards him. It’s like either they can’t get a read on him so they want to disparage him, or they think they’ve clocked him but don’t want to mention it, and what ends up being posted in word salad hot takes under the guise of enlightenment is either... literal disgusting slurs (fruity, fag, dyke, etc) whether about Dean or Jensen or both, or the idea that Dean is bi but it was an accident and Jensen couldn’t possibly have been aware of that because it happened beyond his will, or that Dean and/or Jensen is simply repressed, or that Jensen wants to fuck Dean, or ????????

And it’s very like... literally what the FUCK are you even saying and why are you saying it, lol. I get that there’s a certain Style Of Typing that’s becoming popular in this fandom on this site right now, and it’s often in the name of this sort of exaggerated joke posting. But half the time people are just slinging around words and everyone thinks it’s funny and (seemingly) not enough people stop to think twice about how it is, more often than not now, getting fucking weird.

Is it a big concerning deal (beyond the slurs thing, which is absolutely inexcusable)? Nah, not yet. But the numbers are getting huge on some of these posts, and that makes me grind my teeth more, because it means this overall attitude/joke posting format is spreading throughout the fandom hivemind with very little resistance. And it’s upping the frequency of that sort of language and shitposting. So while things that stay on Tumblr don’t have huge impact, right now a lot of things are also transferring over to Twitter as fandom and stan culture has shifted. And that’s when we get into Dangerous Territory On The Wider Stage that can trend or route back to actors, especially because of how Twitter algorithms have changed recently. (I can elaborate on that if need be.)

Really the bottom line though is that I am seeing multiple variations / posts along the line of the same thought process, where the actors of this show (especially Jensen and Misha) seem to be casually dehumanized in language I find startling and off-putting, and people are getting this mental disconnect where they’re forgetting that it’s not okay to say certain things about real people even in the name of jokes. It’s even pushing it when it’s characters, but when it’s about the actors it’s the crossing of a double line. So it’s becoming normalized, and then people don’t stop and think twice, and the posts just circulate because they’re “funny,” and then I see the same thing on my dash 8 times and feel like I’m going insane.

It bothers me and makes scrolling on my dash a minefield of discomfort, but yes, it’s not like that’s going to be seen by the real people in question as of now because Tumblr is Tumblr... but if this mindset becomes pervasive and normalized enough, what happens is people then become even further desensitized especially the kids who are new to fandom, and then in 8 months we’re gonna have some teenager at a con talking about Jensen’s “lesbian photoshoots” to his fucking face and also asking him how he feels about being overtaken by the spirit of a “repressed bisexual character.” The prospect of which makes me feel like I’m going to grow grey hairs.

So. Yeah. There you have it lmao. I am once again asking everyone to stop being weird about real people and queer topics (whether IRL or fictional), be mindful of language, and notice what they’re actually saying or implying in the name of jokes. But, feel free to think ~I take things too seriously~ or am exhibiting ~fake concern~ and just keep scrolling and ignore me though! I am simply answering the question.

#anonymous #asks #char writes things

61 notes · View notes

rens-room · 3 years

Text

hypnosis mic thoughts:

I wanted something fun and lighthearted to binge that wasn’t a romance show. don’t judge me. also disclaimer this is just my opinion.

you cant show the guy with two different colored eyes first. of course he’s gonna be my favorite.

I dont even like rap that much idk why I’m watching this.

it’s like loveless but with rap and idk how to feel about that.

where do these giantass stereo sets come from??

loveless style team battles meets (kpop) idol anime.

ok I love the blue fire and skulls...but the guys with different color eyes had a better sound (in my opinion).

so far I’ve seen edgy, edgy, and sugar sweet. what’s the last guy gonna be like?

tamaki suoh when did you get green highlights?

so the last group features two tone hair and a doctor! and a host lol. and a brunt out worker which same bro I’m tired too.

ok so the visuals for the last group in the first episode, kinda fire with the giant gold circle stereo and the neon light train. (matenro I think)

i feel so bad for doppo, having extra paperwork and then going hime to find a dead body.

also the implication that matenro lives together? perfection.

^followup: it’s just the two of them live together, no hot doctor.

he’s a doctor and a detective on the side and he’s way too old for me. in other words he’s perfect and I’m in love. the long silver hair is actually what I like lmao.

jk I think doppo is my favorite character so far. too relatable being unremarkable compared to his friends (I too am a brainless water flea)

but his mic is a flip phone so I’m deducting points for that.

claude faustus not only learned to rap but also joined the police. not sure which one of those is a bigger surprise.

mad trigger crew more like adult, edgy, rappers gokudera and colonello from katekyo hitman reborn.

I like the visual aesthetic of two out of three members of mad trigger crew, but sound wise, they are not my favorite group.

so to summarize the groups, theres the punk teenagers who are brothers, the young adults with wildly different aesthetics, the adults with weird jobs who are edgy and like skulls, and the less edgy adults with real jobs and two toned hair.

I can’t believe the halloween episode was released on halloween. wow I am just so surprised. (this is sarcasm)

worst way to die: trampled by fangirls.

I feel like this was just an excuse to make pretty boys with 10 different aesthetics (the buster bros all kinda share the same one).

YOU CAN’T JUST BORROW LIQUID NITROGEN!! and now you really can’t return it!

I really thought doppo made a friend/that guy had a crush but no he was just using his coworker to commit crime.

should he really have police equipment backstage? anyone can hear that radio buddy.

you dress like a million dollars, how are you just a police officer?? like the red gloves? the gold accessories? how do you look so sharp?

do you think that as a cop...it’s a little sus that your best friend is yakuza?

half of this show is detective work. which is fine, but not what I was expecting.

also what is going on with the wack politics/government situation?? the whole concept of rap battles for conflict resolution could have been introduced in any number of ways including “welcome this this fictional universe where rap battles are used to decide conflicts” instead of all this weird government stuff. because the government is shady af and I really don’t care for the political subplot.

kinda want buster bros or matenro to win.

over half way through (episode 9) and we finally get to just the straight rap battles I was expecting.

why is there so much tension/unresolved conflict between these four?? watch it all just be a misunderstanding.

never trust a pink haired bitch.

please stop abusing the doctor, he has the most important job out of all of you.

samatoki has both the looks and the voice for rap though. not to mention the blue fire and skulls. overall I really like his aesthetic.

like all spicy tournament anime, you can’t forget about the extra battle the audience totally isn’t expecting.

double damage for excessive english lyrics lol.

overall thoughts: very entertaining. and probably the show that I learned the least names after 13 episodes. no really, I remember Minimal names. I did not like the slowness between the first episode and the rap battles or the evil government plot line.

#hypnosis mic #Ichiro Yamada #jiro yamada #saburo yamada #samatoki aohitsugi #Jyuto Iruma #Rio Mason Busujima #Ramuda Amemura #Gentaro Yumeno #Doppo Kannonzaka #Dice Arisugawa #Jakurai Jinguji #Hifumi Izanami #hypnosis mic division rap battle #anime thoughts #jan 6 2021 #rens ruminations

38 notes · View notes

lillupon · 3 years

Text

Been getting some messages from an anon who said something along the lines of “Do you have any idea how stupid and hypocritical you sound for putting ‘minors dni’ in your Twitter profile despite writing about a MINOR having sex with an ADULT?”

Not gonna lie, anon, but you kind of seem like a child to me? (In which case, the content I create is not for you). Maybe it’s because I’m Fandom Old™, but I don’t know any adults in fandom who stir up this kind of stuff. It could also be because I come from some open-minded fandoms like Harry Potter and Marvel. A good mentality to have in fandom spaces is “Don’t like, don’t read.” My fics aren’t for everyone. But I’m not forcing you to read it, so why you gotta be this way, damn...

Anyway, since you seem very determined to get a response out of me, I guess I have a few things to say! The first being: Do you have any idea how dumb you sound when you can’t tell the difference between a REAL minor and a FICTIONAL minor? T_T

I’m biased, but I think AEV is a little more nuanced than, “A 23 year old and a 17 year old fuck.” I think I did a pretty good job of highlighting the internal and external conflict these characters experience because of their age gap. I tried to frame the issue in a sensitive way (っ˘ω˘ς )

Now, let me try to address your concerns.

We note that 17 is above the age of consent in many countries. It’s common for high school students to engage in sexual relations with college-aged adults. It’s also common for a teenager to crush on someone who is older than them, whether that is a teacher, a mentor, an idol, etc. Sometimes, their fantasies will be sexual. The number of NSFW Twitter accounts run and accessed by minors is proof of that.

Do I condone these relationships in real life? No. I would discourage teenagers from getting into relationships with adults for myriad reasons that go beyond the scope of this response.

Do these relationships make me uncomfortable in real life? Yep.

Alas, this is something that happens. Teenagers have sex. Sometimes with people older than them. While you can have a reaction of violent and visceral disgust to it, there is nothing you can do about it when both parties are above the age of consent. And you definitely can’t do anything about it when it’s just happening in a story LMAO T_T;;;;

AEV is a work of fiction. It’s not real life. The fact that I have no interest in talking to minors on Twitter should indicate to you that AEV is just a fantasy that I do not want realized, but critical thinking skills are lacking here.

If you understand ‘fantasy’ and ‘fiction’ at all, then you understand that there are things that people like to explore in safe, controlled, fictional environments that they would never explore in real life. Kink is an example. Murder is another really good example!

Do you consume media where people get killed, anon? You likely do. I don’t think you would support murdering someone in real life, though. Do you consume media where people break the law? Again: likely. However, I don’t think you would consider yourself hypocritical for doing these things. That’s because you recognise the difference between fiction and reality.

(By the way, murder = illegal. A 17 year old and 23 year old having sex = not illegal. NOT PEDOPHILIA, stop watering down the severity of the word, Jesus Cries. Puritans like going after fandom creators who explore sex and kink--which is LEGAL--but don’t care to go after violent fics featuring murder and torture--which is ILLEGAL. I really wonder why? That’s not an invitation, by the way. It was just genuine curiosity. Don’t go after creators who write about the dark underbelly of humanity.)

If you can’t differentiate between fiction and reality, you shouldn’t be reading fanfiction. And you certainly shouldn’t be reading real person fiction.

Anon, you must have been checking my blog every day for the past week to see if I’ve responded. You can stop checking now. <(￣︶￣)>

#asks #YOU WIN ANON #I SPENT 30 MINUTES WRITING THIS #i hope you are entertained #haha #i'll probably leave this up for a few days and then delete ^^#tumblr inbox now closed~#my minwon fics are now only viewable to registered ao3 users~

9 notes · View notes

aclosetfan · 3 years

Note

For the Salty asks: 1, 3, 5 and 6?

Thanks so much for playing along! Ima be real with you 2 out of the 4 questions you asked really opened up a can of worms for me, and I’m so sorry. I put the less stressful ones first, and the other two are under the cut! Anyway, these were super fun to answer, but plz don’t hate me for it!! 😂😂

for anyone wondering, here’s the ask list: Salty Asks List

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

lmao yeah. It’s petty, but honestly, people’s personal morals really bleed through into their fandom opinions, and I’m not willing to put up with any unnecessary hate, especially in environments that are supposed to be fun. I’ve even blocked a few people. In the ppg fandom specifically, I’ve blocked a person who, I guess, thought it was necessary to try to gate-keep with racist/sexist/etc. terminology and ideologies, and I truly don’t have time for that 🤷‍♀️ (a lot of people probs know who I’m vaguing, but if you don’t, you’re lucky)

I can’t say I’ve ever unfollowed anyone for any innocent/not-in-conflict-with-my-morals fandom opinions. Usually, if I don’t agree with something, I just keep scrolling because lol whatever. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion.

but ngl I have unfollowed people who just get annoying 😬😬 lol

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

I went into this fandom without having too many preferences, so I didn’t have a pairing that I’ve previously hated!

I guess I could say that while I never really hated them, the color-mixing and color-clashing ships weren’t ever on my radar until I came across the fandom content. Now, I really like them! Particularly, Brick and Bubbles!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Before anyone gets pissed off at me, before you get into my answer for this question, I’d like to really stress that you’ve got to go into it with absolutely zero fanon context. Like, erase all your headcanons from your mind. I’m dead serious. Because I literally DO NOT get why ANY rrbxppg ship would realistically work ever.

Okay, canonically, these six little funky science experiments were dead set on ending each other. The boys were absolutely horrible to the girls. And the girls literally KILL the boys. I know in fairytale romances, nothing stops love, but bruh, it’s hard to come back from murder 😂 And yeah, I know Clipsville showed the girls and the boys together as older teenagers, and they weren’t trying to kill each other, but that was an obvious gag. In the documentary, it was revealed that that particular “clip” was made because a bunch of people wanted the boys and girls to interact again, and CN gave into the demand. (also, lol I know it super embarrassing, but I did watch the documentary. I just really like Craig McCracken) I just don’t think that realistically a canon pairing between the two sets of triplets would ever be considered a healthy relationship.

Also, ethically, I just—okay listen, I go back and forth with this allllll the time, but the ppgxrrb ships make me confront the “Would I sleep with my clone?” question way too often. Depending on my self-esteem, the answer changes each time. Like sometimes I’m like fuck yeah I would! Other times I’m like, ew, no, I’d have to consider my clone as a twin! I know counterparts aren’t technically clones, BUT the boys really do come across as identical to the girls in the show. The only difference really is their moral alignment (I’m nixing any gender argument). So, I’m like, omg, can I honestly pair these six together in any way??? Are they too close to each other genetically in some sense for this to be morally right??? Like if you ship Brick and Buttercup together, would that just essentially be shipping Brick and Butch/Blossom and Buttercup together in some messed up way??? Is Brick just Blossom, and Blossom just Brick?? Is it better just to ship color-matching instead of mixing???

On top of all of that, wouldn’t the boys and girls be pseudo cousins since Mojo was the Professor’s lab monkey? Technically, in canon, Mojo ends up being both sets of triplets “creator,” so could the rrb and the ppg be considered siblings of some sort? Some of you are probably like, wow, calm down. Stop thinking about it. They’re science experiments. It’s not so deep. Which I get, but I can’t stop, so let me hit you with something ten times worse: should the girls (or the boys) actually be considered biological siblings? Does sugar, spice, and everything nice make you genetically related? Nothing put in the stirring pot was organic—just a bunch of chemicals. If you ship the boys and girls together this could be a good thing! BUT, but, could some sick fuck use this information to somehow justify shipping siblings (ppgxppg or rrbxrrb) together??? This is a literal nightmare to think about!!

All in all, I can’t think about these pairings too much without getting caught up in the logistics of their existence even if they’re fictional lmaoooo! If it wasn’t for the fandom, I wouldn’t ship them together at all. I just think it’s amazing that the ships took off like they did lol, because their literal (fictional) existence is just one giant mind fuck for me. Anyway, I ship them at the end of the day, but tbh I do it with a bit of a guilty conscience. Is it morally correct to ship clone-like counterparts? Or should counterparts be treated like twins? Does it even fucking matter at the end of the day, it’s just fiction? I don’t know the right answer. But I do know the pairings don’t make sense.

Aside from the ppgxrrb, I don’t think there are many other BIG fandom wide pairings. Still, I just want to say that I don’t get why people ship Ace and Buttercup together. The pairing sounds off a few major alarms in my head for obvious reasons. There’s also a bunch of crack ships that involve crossovers with other cartoons. Generally, I don’t mind them, but it seems popular to ship Aku (from Samurai Jack) and Blossom together. And I’m real sorry to those devoted shippers, but again I do NOT get it. I see a lot of romantic fan art depicting romantic situations with Blossom still drawn as a child, and like I get Aku is an immortal demon, so “age is just a number,” but again, BIG ALARMS go off in my head.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

🙃 🙃 Kind of don’t want to answer this, but I will anyway because only a few people actually read my blog lolol, so lol, yep! And it’s the reds. Don’t shoot me lol. When I was in middle school, I got into this fandom, forgot about it, and then came back when I was hit by a round of nostalgia. I’m finishing up college now, and I can confidentially say that the fanon content for the reds hasn’t changed one bit. Or the demand for it.

I tended to find that a lot of red content follows many archetypes that I’m just not into. Their stories can get a real cringey, real fast. Blossom is always written like this “perfect, except she’s not (but she really is)” character. Like she’s the girl you WISH you could be, but she’s also going through a shit ton of stuff that no person IRL would be able to handle without having a mental breakdown. And sometimes, in some stories, Blossom does have a mental breakdown, but in a sexy way, so she’s still perfect. Generally, there’s still something problematic about Blossom that makes it easy for a reader to relate to her on some level, unlike the way people write Bubbles. And then there’s Brick, who’s broody, hyper-possessive or jealous, and hot figuratively and literally (gotta love the fire/ice trope). He’s the only boy—no! Wait!—the only person who could ever possibly outwit Blossom, and he is just so undeniably attracted to Blossom. They’re the smart power couple that should honestly just hook-up in Chapter One to save everybody time, but they don’t. Nah, they’ve got to survive at least two love triangles before they even consider admitting they’re attracted to each other.

And don’t get me wrong, none of that’s bad, but there are a million fanfics that go through the same song and dance with these two. And it’s kind of easy to tell when someone’s hardcore projecting onto Blossom because the type of person they’re personally attracted to is the way they write Brick. And I’m not knocking anyone self-projecting onto characters, sometimes people got to do that to give themselves a fun mental break, but bro, I don’t want to read about it. For one, smart broody assholes aren’t my type. Maybe when I was in middle school, but not anymore. And two, it’s just not interesting to me, which is a real shame since the reds are a majority of the fanon content.

Maybe if I found more red stories where the plot isn’t character-driven but plot-driven, so I see the romance between these two characters in a context where it’s not the main focus of the story, it would solve my issue with the pairing. I haven’t found many fics like that, though.

I can’t really think of any reds fic where I’m like ey, this aint bad unless it has a “major character death” tag attached to it lmao (which are always plot driven stories). However, in all honesty, since I’ve stayed away from red content for a while now, I don’t know the current state of things. Maybe there’s been a load more development for these two, or people have broken away from the same plotlines, but I’m too busy to check. I do browse people’s fic rec lists from time to time, but it sort of feels like everyone just puts the same fics on their lists and moves on.

And before someone’s like, “well, you can say all this about the greens or the blues,” just know I’m fully aware. The greens make me cringe too because there’s a shit ton of possessive and abusive storylines filling their story tags. And what makes me super uncomfortable is how people make Buttercup hit Butch or call him derogatory names, oftentimes unprompted. I don’t know why people make Buttercup such an unlikeable and overly aggressive person. I also don’t get why they make Butch some perverted idiot, but to each their own, I guess? Still, I see these green-character patterns most often in red-focused stories, which is another reason why I avoid them. I’ve found a lot of green-focused content that strays from the abusive tropes I try to avoid. Considerably less than I’d like, but the greens are typically the b-plot pairing, so that’s to be expected. Personally, I’d really like to see more content with the greens finding some kind of inner peace, and recently, I’ve seen a few fics that have tried to tackle this concept.

And lol, if you’ve read some of my posts before, you already know that I think the blues are an underdeveloped fanon pairing. The fandom can’t ruin that pairing for me because it never does anything substantial with it.

Anyway, at the end of the day, I’m just personally not into the way the reds are popularly written, but I get why people are and that’s good with me.

#salty ask game #lisathefan #an ethical debate in MY ppg post??? It's more likely then you think!#long post #ppg pairings #and all my issues with them #also im a firm believer in the block button being your friend!

3 notes · View notes

controlbrains · 5 years

Note

Zim is an adult and Dib is 12 LMAO

Okay. This is the very last time I’m gonna say ANYTHING about any of this. From now on I’m just gonna delete asks or ignore any other nonsense because fuck, come on.

1. JV only said that recently. Before he said Zim was basically a teenager. JV has always said whatever shit comes to his mind. He’s rarely ever genuine. And he also has always had a weird kinda of aggressive relationship with the fandom.

2. He’s a fucking alien?? From a different planet?? Time is fake?? Can irkens even die from old age?? are the immortal?? What does time mean for them?

3. I don’t ship Dib with him at 12, LMAO. They’re enemies and pseudo friends rn. But, if we play in the canon, and want to move beyond what we’re given in the show/movie/comic, and explore the world then yeah like real life, characters age and grow and it’s fun to do character examinations and what things might be like one day. like this implies that we’re ONLY allowed to create stuff as it is in the show. not allowed to explore the amazing world we’re given. which would be boring as hell.

4. I’ve shipped them since I was 11. You ain’t gonna stop me now with shaky arguments.

5. Do ya go into people’s inboxes and tell them this if they ship ZaGr or DaTr?? Ships with equal age gaps?? But happen to be ‘straight’?? I’m sure this isn’t something you’re considering but, it WAS in the beginning of the fandom. People were very homophobic.

6. I’ve been in this fandom for nearly 10 years. And I’ve shipped it for 10 years.

7. Age gaps are also not pedophilia. I’ve never fetishized Dib’s age in any thing. I don’t even fetishize the age gap.

8. The two of them have ALWAYS been portrayed as equals. There’s hardly ever any kind of unequal power dynamic which is a big part of the problem of age gap ships. But, the two of them go toe to toe, in intelligence, resources, determination etc.

9. JV may have suddenly decided to say that Zim is an adult after literal YEARS of saying otherwise, but Zim is also never really portrayed as an adult. he’s an main character in a child’s show. Kids are supposed relate to him.

10. And also the show itself may be spouted as a child’s show but, its always been understood as going beyond age. I think we can see that with the sheer amount of fans it’s gathered from all ages. JV created JTHM. A very much adult Thing. Much of that dark humor and adult themes leak into the show. I guess I’m saying that in opposition to many kids shows that are designed JUST for kids and therefor have a higher chance of being harmed by fandom’s tendency to create NSFW or graphic images…the harm is less here. We have people who are in their 20s or 30s rn (like me and several of my friends) who WERE kids when the show came out. And now they’re not and they still love it. This isnt just a kids show. it never really has been. And we’re allowed to enjoy it.

11. It’s not even like…fiction. Wherein one character is a young person and the other character being shipped is an adult. It’s a young human person and a alien. It’s fantasy, science fiction. It’s literally impossible. (Unless something wild happens soon and we get aliens that are over 100+ years old tomorrow)

12. Many people who like ZaDr or any ship really are people who use them for coping mechanisms. I don’t count myself as one of them (anymore) but, I know several others who do.

13. IZ and ZaDr literally saved my life when I was young. Or at least motivated me to stay alive in a VERY dark time of my life. It made me laugh. Made me create art and writing. I made friends and a community. But, I guess that’s moot now.

14. Don’t we have more important things to be worrying about?? Like…idk the Amazon being burnt? or Climate Change? or the re-rise of fascism? Or idk real life pedophiles that are harming real life children. And not people shipping two dumb characters from a dumb show??

#zadr #zadr discourse #even tho its really not #its a failure of a discourse #Anon #asks #mp

504 notes · View notes

kargathbladefist · 4 years

Note

is it possible to be too old to write fanfiction? i still do it (have been doing it since i was like 16 or 17) but i'm wondering if this is something i should carry on into my life when i'm in my 30s.

i definitely dont think so, generally speaking, no. i feel like the line between fanfic and actual fiction can be thin and such a huge population of fiction novelists are probably well over 30 lmao (rick riordan is 55 and his series is greek mythology fanfic)

sure as hell hope i dont feel pressured to stop writing when i reach 30 bc i feel like it’s part of that overlying rhetoric of like, “being creative/artistic is childish and once you Mature you need to stop and to live in the Real World” which is bs because we wouldnt have so much of the fun entertainment / cool fantasy shit we have in pop culture without adults that said fuck that i’m gonna keep writing fictional stories. i feel like as video games and the avengers and game of thrones type shit becomes mainstream it’s helped subdue this idea a lot since like… grrm is like 71 lmao

for me personally i guess it depends on the material, like in general its like “who cares” and i wish there was less of an atmosphere of like, “if youre an adult you shouldnt make fan content of something you like” especially considering how many talented artists who do fanart, cosplayers, content creators, etc. etc. are out there. i feel like communities on tumblr have this impression that once you start doing your own taxes you should dump all your interests in the garbage and only watch cnbc but like… imo writing fanfic in your 30s isnt really different from doing cosplay in your 30s, creating fanart in your 30s, etc. and there is so much talent there!!

the main place where it gets weird and not-ok imo is when the source material is something made distinctly for kids/underage people or when the characters being written about are underage, like. adults getting involved in voltron shipping wars… that shit is weird….. 35 year old reylos writing weird ass fic/meta about their relationship…. kinda gives me the heebie jeebies too… but its still possible to create content and not participate in “fandom” bullshit

but yeah anyways in general adults shipping characters that are underage & participating in fandom environments/conversations where there are underage people present weirds me out and is a definite line in the sand LMAO, i know that a lot of YA fiction is written by adults but i feel like it’s different (generally speaking) with that because it’s characters that the author came up with or the author relating to experiences they had growing up VS. them watching a show aimed at underage people where the main cast are teenagers. “fandom mom” culture is fucking weird but being 31 and writing/posting fanfiction is not the same as getting in a cat fight with someone half your age on the internet over an interpretation of an anime character

idk none of this makes sense and i rambled but tldr i don’t think it’s weird at all, it just depends on the source content to me.

#catsalads #sorry if you wanted this to be private i wasnt sure #fuck i have to finish my fics before i turn 30 now

2 notes · View notes

official-michael-afton · 5 years

Note

I agree with your thing about getting William antis and stans to chill. The real issue is that you can’t glorify him because he has done some REALLY horrible things, but it’s also annoying to me how people can make him a homophobic and racist simply because Sock Cawthorn hasn’t given him nearly enough chractization so people can be spouting off these headcanons and making saying you like the character as a ANTAGONIST (and not agreeing with any of his actions) a bad thing. Please, just chill guys

Sup fam it's 7 in the morning and I'm half asleep while typing this hoping that our REALLY shitty hotel WiFi will post this soooo *finger guns*

Tbh I just- my whole thing is like- some people REALLY like William Afton as a character. Some people REALLY love hating on William Afton. Both of these people exist, so like... Get Over It. Y'all can co-exist.

Yeah don't romanticize his actions but also... He's a fictional character so you're not romanticizing him just by liking him. Like one example of romanticizing I've seen is when I saw someone go "Well I think William is canonically a good father who was actually really nice to his kids, that's why Michael wants to find him!" Like... Noooo Michael shows clear malice in his voice when talking about his Dad and even shows some signs of abuse and neglect in his actions... Y'see, THATS romanticizing because you're trying to downplay his canonical character and trying to "prove" he's actually a good guy just cuz ya like him. What ISNT romanticizing is "Oh yeah smelly bastard, love him! I hc him as [insert-identity-or-trait-here]!" Because like- you can like a fictional character but still realize they're a piece of SHIT in canon. Same with AUs and RP blogs like- it's okay if you want a William who ISNT being horrible every waking moment of his life, because you're not trying to downplay who he CANONICALLY is.

It's kinda like Disney villains! We KNOW they're bad and never try to argue that, but we can still like them! We don't have to spend every waking moment of our lives going on and on about how much we hate their guts just to prove that we're #Unproblematic. High key this is the first fandom I've been in where even liking the villain puts you in the same category as the people who try to justify their canonical actions.

Just..

Some shite I've seen stans do: "Why is your William ugly do you hate William fans or something", "*Continually make sexual jokes on my blog despite me saying this is a PG13 blog*", "I think William was canonically a good person!", "*insist that William is hot despite people(coughvsemilycough) consistently asking people to stop sending those asks*", okay one time I found someone liking a lot of my posts tagged William and I went to their blog out of curiosity and found that they made... It was literally a yandere-like post. Swear to God they- not gonna put what it says here but it was straight out of a yandere character like wHY, "William's actions are justifiable because [literally any excuse]!"

Some shite I've seen antis do: "You're not allowed to hc William as anything other than a cishet white twink(even tho Will was canonically chubby) and if you do you're a racist/LGBTphobe/etc!!!", "If you aren't spending every waking moment of your life despising William Afton then you're a stan how dare you", "If you ship Willry and/or Purplephone I'm going to actually threaten you and encourage physical violence towards you.", "Oh, you like William Afton as a character? HEY EVERYONE ADD THIS USER TO YOUR BLOCKLIST LMAO", not really William related but I swear I've seen quite a few exlcusionist ideals in the anti community, also I've noticed a few "[character] is clearly [identity](even tho Sock Cotton never gave any characters canon confirmed identities) so if you're not drawing [character] as [identitiy] then fuck you!!!, I could make a whole post on why Fanon is dangerous but that's another day-, oh I've also been afraid that any time I'd post a William I'd either get anon hate or a callout post haha,,, Still afraid of that,,,

Shite I've seen them BOTH do with each other: "If you even LOOK at [insert-user-here] you're being added to our blocklist", being absolutely vicious in referring to each other and having no respect for people with different opinions, encouraging violence/pettiness... just being absolute SHIT role models like wtf aren't some of you supposed to be 20+ why are you picking such immature fights with teenagers, taking "I like/hate William" as a personal attack on themself, The poor "your fave is" blogs... The poor, poor "your fave is" blogs... I swear it's almost a comedic PATTERN to see "William Afton from fnaf is [insert-thing-here]" Anti:"UMMM ACTUALLY WILL IS A CHILD MURDERER TAKE THAT POST DOWN" Stan:"hAH FUCK YOU IM GONNA MAKE MY OWN POST WITH UR FLAG SINCE U DELETED IT UWUWUWUWU", Just... I've never seen a fandom be so vicious WITHIN the fandom- like I've seen those for Vs against a fandom but I've never seen such animosity IN the fandom itself, like... Seriously are you guys Okay

But yeah I rambled for a long time so enjoy this post of my frustrations towards my own community sbscahxmfb

21 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

589

Have you ever been served breakfast in bed? Sure. When we don’t feel like having breakfast at the table together as a family, my mom just brings up food for us when we wake up. What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t cook or bake at all but back when we had to do it in home ec, I remember how hard macarons were to make (if this counts). Baking in general demands precision, it’s just that the skill needed to make macarons is pumped up to the max. Are you one to approach others, or let them approach you first? I let people approach me because I’m shy most of the time. When was the last time you took painkillers? Saturday. My toothaches struck once again and I didn’t want to be burdened while at dinner with Gab, so I had to take a painkiller for the second time that day. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else's garden without asking? No. That’s kind of a dick move.

Who did you give them to, or did you keep them for yourself? What is your favorite thing to do as a little kid? I loved being allowed to play outside. My grandma was very strict with us and would sometimes not allow us to go outside and play with our neighbors – if we were allowed, we only could from 4 to 6 PM. So whenever we got to go out and play it was always really fun, even though I almost always went home sporting a new gash, cut, or wound. Then when we came back home, Nickelodeon would usually have an awesome program schedule, followed by changing the channel to Cartoon Network at 7 so we could watch Pokemon, then we’d flick the channel to Disney because Mr. Bean airs around 9 PM. Are holidays as fun for you now as they were when you were younger? I looked forward to holidays more when I was a kid because it was before a bunch of my relatives migrated to different countries. It’s never the same without them, which is often the case these days. Do you find non-fiction to be boring? I find fictional works to be boring, but I can spend hours reading non-fiction content. Are you a punctual person? Or are you always late? Yes, I hate being late. Do you own a thesaurus? Do you actually use it? I owned a thesaurus because I had to back in grade school, but I’m not sure if I actually ever threw it out or not. Nowadays Google can easily be a thesaurus if I need it for that purpose. What is the longest essay or research paper you have written? It was our final paper for my communication research class last semester. If I remember correctly, it has about 90 pages. Do you ever write your own short stories? I tried doing it when I was 12 or 13, but I didn’t find it fun. Also I was never creative enough for it and got bored real quick. I envy people who can write very good short stories. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? Raffles are a Filipino favorite and we have a lot of them, so yeah I’ve won some cash here and there. Have you ever lost something very valuable? Of course. The first valuable thing I ever lost was my first ever cellphone, given to me as a 7th birthday gift by my parents; I lost it while on a school field trip. I’ve always felt bad about that. Have you ever lost something with a lot of sentimental value? In high school, I lost a watch that my mom gave me. It was a super pretty watch and again, I haaaaated myself when I realized I had misplaced it. Have you ever been close to drowning? Yes. When I was nine, my cousins and I went for a swim in our clubhouse’s pool. I was swimming at the deep end – which I normally could handle by myself – but suddenly one of my cousins grabbed at my legs which kept me from being able to lift my head above water because it felt like I was being dragged further down. Have you ever had a panic attack? Yes. I haven’t had one in a couple of years though, so I guess that’s good. What stores do you go into when you go to mall? I’m not a big store person when I go malling, but when I do stop by shops, it’s usually stationery stores, bookstores, or stores that sell cute novelty stuff like weird coasters, flasks, alarm clocks, etc. Do you ever stop to eat in the food court? Only if we want a quick snack to get by, like shawarma or corndogs. As much as possible I like eating in sitdown restaurants. Do you find it easy to relate to other people? These days, yeah. I’ll admit that when I was younger, I used to put a premium on being ‘not like other teenagers’ BAHAHAHAHA YUCK, but tbh there’s no shame in being able to relate to many others in terms of music or TV shows or other similar interests. It helps me gain friends, which is always a plus. Who is your favorite philosopher? I hate philosophy more than anything else in this planet. What is your favorite song to sing? OMG Thinking of You by Katy Perry easily takes the cake for this one. Do you consciously try to be unique, or do you just be you? I’m just me for the most part. Do you worry about being judged by other people? Sometimes, but it’s usually for stuff like having to borrow a pen in class, or having to ask for a piece of yellow pad – basically stuff that would make people think I was irresponsible haha. If someone doesn't like you, do you usually want to know the reason? Yes, just out of curiosity. But I wouldn’t feel like it’s the end of the world if I never got to know why. When was the last time you told someone something really important? A couple of weeks ago; I had to tell Gab I passed out quietly for a few minutes in the restroom in the middle of PE. The workout was too difficult and I didn’t have my water bottle with me that day, so I felt queasy quickly. Have you ever lost a large amount of money? Thankfully, no. The only time I lost my wallet, there was only around ₱600 in it. Have you ever tried to blame something you did on someone else? I mostly did it when I was a kid and blamed my little sister or brother for something. Did that person get in trouble, or did the plan fail? Failed, obviously.

What is the weirdest hairstyle you have ever had? I never went with weird hairstyles but my worst look will always be rebonded hair. I have a square face with a very strong jaw; completely straight hair has never suited me. Describe the ugliest pair of shoes you own? I don’t think I’ve ever allowed myself to wear shoes I thought were ugly, haha. How many times a day do you look in the mirror? For how long? Maybe a few times. Once before I leave the house, then maybe one or two times from my webcam just so I know how I currently look while in school, then again when I get home. Are you ashamed to leave the house when not looking your best? Not ashamed, just uncomfortable. If you are antisocial, WHY are you that way? That’s a legitimate personality disorder and I prefer we didn’t throw that word around like it’s nothing. Are you modest? Well I used to be, back when I was in Catholic school. I still hold some traditional sentiments here and there but I wouldn’t call myself modest. What is your favorite singer? Beyonce or Hayley Williams, for sure. If you could relive one day from last year, what day would it be? Why? April 21, 2018! It was my birthday and my first time driving out of town by myself. Gab and I went to Nasugbu for a day trip to the beach and Tagaytay for dinner. It was soooooo so fun even though we were exhausted afterwards and I was fighting to keep my eyes open while driving by that evening. What is something that you are afraid to fail at? Something I’m supposed to be really good at, like writing. What would happen if you did fail at it? I’d feel insecure for a long time and for that period, no one would be able to encourage me and make me feel better. Do you ever worry about your loved ones dying? Ever since my grandpa and now Nacho passed away, yes. What is the cutest thing a guy could do for a girl? The cutest thing anyone* can do for anyone* is making time for them, I guess. I’m not very picky when it comes to showing love. Stuffed animals--immature, or should everyone have one? Neither. I don’t mind them but I don’t hate them. What do you like in your breakfast burritos? I don’t think I’ve ever had a breakfast burrito. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? Rustic Mornings, La Creperie, or Eggs For Breakfast! How much money do you think you cost your parents? Millions. Do you have good hand/eye coordination? Only when it comes to table tennis. I generally wouldn’t call myself skilled at catching stuff. Can you do a flip on a trampoline? I haven’t tried, and I think I’d be too scared to anyway. Do you remember the last time you climbed a tree? I don’t think I’ve ever climbed a tree...most trees here are riddled with red ants. Did you ever lie on your back and pick shapes out of clouds as a kid? Sure, but I didn’t do it all the time nor does it feel nostalgic to me. Do you watch any Japanese anime? Other than watching Pokemon when I was a kid, no. Is there a foreign culture you are interested in learning more about? I’m always interested in learning all foreign cultures. Do you let your emotions get the best of you in a fight? Sometimes. Do you know anyone whose reputation has recently been ruined? That’s what happened to Nach. It’s why I was always more gentle in dealing with him than everyone else, because I knew just how damaged his rep was after what happened. I didn’t want to add to that anymore. When did you first get a cellphone? I got my first one on my 7th birthday. Do you have your own laptop computer? Yes. How about your own digital computer? Like...a cellphone or calculator? I guess, yeah lmao. Do you drive your own car, or your parents? I’ve been given my own car for me to drive, but my parents bought it and own it. Say something inappropriate? Cunt. Always been my least favorite bad word. What were you doing before you started taking this survey? I washed the dishes. Describe the best summer you ever had? I don’t like my summers. It’s not a part of the year I look fondly on. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I don’t celebrate that holiday. Did you attend a pre-school? My only other school apart from UP has a preschool, elementary, and high school. I studied there for 14 years. We also have a college, but it’s in our Makati campus. Do you remember what it was like to learn to count to 100? Not really. What is something you lost in the process of growing up? The concept of looking to my mom if I have any problems. Do you wear any wristbands? If so, what's on them? Nope, I do not. What was the last picture you were in? We took a family photo over lunch yesterday. Did you have required reading material in high-school? We had required reading material from Prep all the way to senior year in high school. Do you keep your room organized? I try to. It becomes messy slowly over time but I always end up tidying my room. Do you vacuum daily? I don’t. How many board games do you own? A couple. I have Scrabble, Pictionary, and Trivial Pursuit. Own any books? ...Of course. Recently checked any books out from the library? Nah that was about a month ago. I recently returned a (overdue) book though. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? My dog gives me a single lick to the face whenever I come home from school. What’s in your make-up bag? I don’t have one.

#survey #surveys

1 note · View note

plutosychic · 5 years

Note

✨🐝🕊🔪

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

I relate a lot to Salem from Sabrina The Teenage Witch. I still cannot believe they did not make Salem talk in the new show.

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis

🖤🔮🌙💣🕯🥀🦇💋💄🔪⚔️♟🎲🎬🔥✨

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

Probably trying to do everything at the same time

Showering every single day lmao (i know some people who don’t, so I guess that is a habit)

And third i guess could be checking tumblr

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

Okay, so I have had a lot of creepy experiences and I am not sure which one I should choose but maybe I will go with the fact that I was haunted for 6 months straight when I was around 12.

My friends and I, being the dumb bitches we still are but wiser, we decided to investigate the rumours that were going around our school about the haunted bathroom.

We tried to contact the spirit, which is okay if you are an experienced spirit worker or at least know how to protect yourself spirituality but as you can guess a 12 year old does not even dream spiritual protection is a thing.

The last cabinet of the bathroom was the real problem. Everytime we got closer to it, it was extremely cold and I got dizzy and there were times which I almost fainted. I was always way more sensitive to spirits’ energy and know when they are around, even thought I have now learned because of this experience how to control that.

While there could be originally a spirit, which we suspected was of a girl around her age, since we did not have protection other spirits decided to take advantage pf our vulnerability.

They would follow us around school and classrooms. I even felt once it blowing air into the back of my head and once at a maths class I started feeling really sick around the spirit of man around his 30’s. I legit felt like I would throw up.

Some spirits did follow me home. I don’t really want to call it a spirit, because it would be a negative entity/demon even. I would see black figures through the corner of my eyes appearing and disappearing and I would feel random cold around me. I could also feel it watching me and there were times at night where I had to call my mom.

They would sit on my back which I could feel and head, they did touch me too and there was this time where I was falling a sleep and I clairaudiently heard a man calling me.

The creepiest part of everything was when I was at my dad’s house. I used to listen to music on my tablet and with phones on in my room. In that day, my grandparents were visiting us but it was before/after lunch time so I was authorized to be in my bedroom for a while.

The second I paused the music in order to change it, I start hearing this deep husky feminine voice around the ceiling of my bedroom and all over around it speaking in tongues. It felt like it was speaking through a megaphone and I was confused because it was not a language nor an accent I have ever heard, it was truly supernatural.

It only stopped speaking the moment my grandma opened the door of my bedroom. I asked her if she heard the woman speaking through what seemed like a megaphone and she said she did not.

Some time after that, in my mom’s house, during a night full of paranormal activity where I felt really scared sleeping alone. I called my mother to come sleep with me. If I am not wrong, she left the bathroom light on as a type of night lamp since the bathroom was right next to my bedroom and left my room door slightly opened so that light could enter my room.

A couple minutes after my mom lies down and starts trying to sleep. I hear the same voice of the same woman I did at my dad’s house once again in tongues, but this time it was in hallway right by the bathroom door which also equals to being right by my door.

With time, I started learning how to deal with spirits/entities. I stopped being afraid and completely ignore them until they couldn’t get any fear or reaction out of me.

I did have paranormal experiences after and before that and in the same house too, however it was never to the point of being haunted. In my dad’s house I only have one other story and in my new house that I live with my mom I have a couple, but yes! Sorry for it being so long.

#ask thing

4 notes · View notes

widowquakes · 5 years

Text

Alright fuck I have lots of thoughts and feelings about this whole Natasha situation and I need to get them out in the open like right now because it’s been a month and I’m still distraught as fuck.

As some of you may know, I’ve been watching the MCU since the beginning, I was about 11 when IM1 came out and I watched it through my fingers because I didn’t understand what I was watching lmao. A few years later I was entering high school and I gave IM2 a chance, when I was 13.

Of course, as a young girl who was just discovering her sexuality, I latched on. I was just in the beginning stages of figuring out I was gay. I was in a religious stage too, praying to god every night to change who I was so life would be easier. Well, it didn’t really work out all that great for me. IM2 was a movie I watched sort of casually at first and ended up really latching onto the woman in the movie. Natasha was strong, beautiful, and brave, and I admired that about her. I took on my adoration of her as “admiration” (totally not attraction) and put her in my head as someone I really admired.

Two years later, I was just turning 15. At this point, I had come out to one person, my best friend. I hadn’t fully accepted who I was yet but I got over my religious stage and was in the process of coming to accept myself. It was difficult being in a catholic school, though. All around I heard all about how gay people are going to hell. Every damn day. So I took to tumblr, a platform I had really gotten into lately.

The Avengers came out around that time, and naturally, I was so excited to see Natasha back onscreen. I remember watching that opening scene on the big screen and feeling my heart race. My admiration turned into adoration, and before long, I was taking to tumblr, posting gifsets and thoughts and feelings all about her. It felt good to be open about how I was attracted to her when I couldn’t be open about it in real life.

“Black Widow” became an icon to me that I connected with being comfortable with my sexuality. A badass woman who didn’t need a man and still kicked endless ass while also being very human and vulnerable at the same time. She was all I wanted to be, and as a teenager, I needed someone like that. I had many heroes in my lifetime that I admired and adored; musical artists, actors, and real people alike, but Natasha became like a best friend in my head.

The older I got, the less I chatted about her. I became so comfortable with the knowledge that Natasha would always be there in one way or another. I had a Black Widow hoodie, stickers, etc.

I grew up more. By the time I turned 17, I was in a relationship, and I finally told my friends the truth. I came out to my school and, when I turned 18, came out to people in college. I began to speak out a lot more to people in my life. I changed a lot — went from an introverted and closeted person to an outspoken and brave young girl.

And the whole while when I was changing, Natasha was always someone I drew inspiration from. I admired her more than anything, I considered her like a friend to me. I know that sounds stupid because she’s fictional, but she mattered to me. A lot. Winter Soldier came out, and I was the happiest Natasha fan in the world.

I was 18 when AOU came out. As we left the theatre, I sobbed uncontrollably in the car. We were meant to go out to dinner after, but my friend and her mom just parked me in the parking lot and let me cry it out. My friend hugged me and told me something that really reassured me. “Natasha will be in other movies. They’re going to fix this.”

I was distraught over how they treated her in that movie, more than I’d been upset over anything relating to movies before. I reassured myself that they would fix it, that I wouldn’t have to deal with this forever. I immediately went on tumblr, read FanFiction’s, roleplayed. Got my mind of it and appreciated Natasha a lot more after that.

I came out to my mother when I was 19 or 20, something like that. Finally, I was in a good place in my life. I started a relationship with an incredible woman. Infinity War came out and I got this incredible interpretation of Natasha. I was beside myself with happiness.

You’re never quite 100% for a person like me, though. I’m a minority in the world. I’m a gay woman who’s constantly belittled at every turn.

I remember many experiences pretty significantly. I remember being on the subway and a full grown woman taunted me for 20 minutes, threatening to kill me when I got off the train. I skipped my stop so that she would get off first. I’ve been cornered, tracked down, hunted, and attacked at every corner.

I can’t say that during these times, I actively told myself, “be brave, that’s what Natasha would do”, but I don’t think it had anything to do with being active. Natasha became such a part of me and who I was that, in retrospect, I don’t know if I would be able to survive all that if I hadn’t drawn inspiration from her as a teenager. I was a mute kid, incredibly quiet. Something changed that day I first saw her onscreen, and I haven’t been the same since.

I was nervous the entire week leading up to Endgame. I was in a good place in my life — happier than hell with who I am, with my identity, and with my relationship. But something felt wrong, something felt off. I was sick to my stomach with nerves. When Katie saw Infinity War, I had only question for her, “does Nat survive?”

I felt a sinking in my chest when they went to a Vormir. Having avoided spoilers all week, I was hoping for the absolute best. God, I can’t even tell you how much I cried. I had a blanket in my lap and as she was dying, I held it and sobbed my eyes out. I was crying so hard that my chest physically hurt, and it turned into a quiet asthma attack. I barely remember the movie after that. Not even Carol could bring me back from that, I was completely distraught. To this day I still can’t watch that scene, I have to leave the theatre whenever it’s on.

She’s been a part of my life for 10 years, forming and shaping who I am as a person and who I’m becoming in the future. She’s not just a fictional character to me. And I understand that the MCU did her dirty for so long, and she has far less scenes than most characters in the series, but seeing her when I was a 13 year old closeted mute kid and immediately admiring her completely changed my perspective on life and on who I am. I’ll never be the same because of this character.

I’ve admired her for a long time. She was there for me and she was a support for me when I had nothing. I had no faith in myself or in the world. I was a depressed teenager, constantly suicidal, but even when I had nothing I was still able to watch her movies or look at gifsets of her and just fucking admire her and love her. I haven’t been writing as her, but she owns a part of me even to this day.

And finally, now that I’m in a good place, now that I’m finally happy with my life, I’m forced to watch her die a cruel death. See her body on the big screen and face the fact that she’s not coming back. And I know that going into this we all knew that the OG Avengers weren’t coming back, but this? This was cruel.

So anyway. It’s been a month now and I still cry to myself on the way home from work. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to recover from this, but I sure hope it’s soon.

Godspeed, Natasha Romanoff. I love you 3000.

#ignore this

5 notes · View notes

despertara · 5 years

Note

Hey! I really really like your taste in prose (based on the quotes you reblog!) and I was wondering if you had any prose/poem/book recommendations?

omg hi!!! thanks!!! wild!!! i’d love to throw a list together for you!!!

disclaimer that i read whatever i want so this. is totally a mixed bag featuring commentary no one asked for lmao but here are some pieces i’ve (re)read recently and are close to my heart!!

poetry

fugue for other hands, joseph fasano | fasano is....... one of my top 5 fav poets. he captures this really complex sense of desperation and simultaneous resignation in his writing which ig is another way to say ‘regret’. really spacious but also really specific and intimate. concise and really like... surprisingly violent (in a sense) diction at times like it’s intense and resounding but also an old, dull pain that can’t hurt you more than it’s meant to. i have too many thoughts abt fasano so to cut it short: this is a beautiful, poignant, genuinely stunning collection

the vixen, w.s. merwin |and really any merwin? merwin is also one of my top 5 and he died earlier this year which i’m still processing but. definitely read him. read everything he’s ever written. i don’t cry when i read fasano but even before he left i have cried reading merwin. everything he writes has this soft golden hour cast to it. big bloom. soft focus. very real but not sharp at all, very gentle

cat town, hagiwara sakutaro|technically prose but i have the version that also has the entirety of howling at the moon and blue cat which are all poetry so whatever!!! i.... am going to say that these poems are super surreal because unlike a lot of western poetry that is about unspooling specific memories and making the accompanying feelings accessible, like literally unpacking thoughts and feelings, hagiwara’s work is like looking at someone else’s photo album without them there to explain context to you. just snapshots of a life you can’t fathom or properly relate to, but is all the more compelling for it. he really effects a sense of nostalgia you couldn’t possibly have so you sit and wonder what he must have been thinking of when he wrote this or that

self-portrait in a convex mirror, john ashbery |i originally had this above hagiwara but then i wrote like an entire stream-of-consciousness mini thought piece on hagiwara?? so i moved it underneath ajdlfsdj but only so i could reference my photo album analogy. hagiwara is looking through someone’s photo album without the illumination of their commentary, but ashbery is like reading someone’s travel journal. when i read ashbery i always feel like he’s saying ‘hey remember when’, like there’s a sense of familiarity and the imprecision that comes with telling a story we both already know. it’s like reminiscing

other fav poets: mary oliver always, raymond carver, bassho, jane hirschfield, franz wright, joanna klink, kenneth rexroth

prose

the thirteen clocks, james thurber | this is an actual children’s book but similar to le petit prince it is better written than the bulk of everything i’ve ever read ever. literally i am trying to elaborate but it’s hard like it’s just a master class in telling a story like i reference this book when i feel stuck w my own writing and it never fails me

and i darken / the conqueror’s saga, kiersten white | INSANE. if you like historical fiction (it is set in the ottoman empire and it is WILD) w devastating and endearingly violent female leads you will love this. well-written, extremely round characterization, compelling. wholeheartedly recommend the entire series

the city of brass + the city of copper, shannon chakraborty |READ THESE!!!!! BOOK 2 WAS EXACTLY LIKE BEING STABBED REPEATEDLY IN ALL VITAL ORGANS AND I SUSPECT BOOK 3 (TO DROP IN 2020) WILL GENUINELY KILL ME

uprooted, naomi novik|this has been circulating as A Ridiculously Good Book for a while now but seriously it is a ridiculously good book with some of the most masterful and concise worldbuilding i’ve ever seen. spinning silver by the same author is also Incredible

lockwood & co series, jonathan stroud |if you liked the bartimaeus trilogy........... you will love these. i read this series twice, all five books, within the last 3mos. it’s a middle-grade novel but i wouldn’t have known that if someone hadn’t told me because beyond the premise (teenage ghosthunters fix everything by ruining it first) it’s so well done? like bartimaeus wasn’t poorly written at all and lockwood is imperfect in several regards but to plan out five novels without overworking your own plot/characters is no small feat

honorable mentions

his dark materials by philip pullman is my favorite set of books, full stop.

you also can’t go wrong with diane wynne jones and if you’ve seen howls’ moving castle but haven’t read it... read it and the next two books in the series, and also the spellcoats

peter s. beagle’s the last unicorn............. will change your life

also 100 years of solitude by gabriel garcia marquez

also sprach zarathustra by friedrich nietzsche will knock your socks off if it hasn’t already like no matter how you feel abt the dude, the base quality and style of the writing?? is insane???

corny but i’m also a heart of darkness apologist. this and the crucible were the high school pieces that really stuck with me which. is telling lmfao

if you like me are indiscriminate about good writing then you have to read arakawa’s fullmetal alchemist because it sincerely puts 99.999999% of traditional novels to SHAME

please read everything by mary oliver, who is also top 5 for me. i love you mary and i miss you

#Anonymous #I Got Carried Away but thanks for the ask anon this was super cute!!!#i literally can't stop editing this when do i stop #q

3 notes · View notes

lightsandlostbells · 6 years

Text

Skam season 3, episode 6 reaction

In terms of length, this is a short episode, but watching it in real time, every day highlighting Isak’s misery, felt like an eternity. Luckily Isak and Jonas’ friendship intervened to give us one of the most heartwarming scenes of the series.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 6 - “Escobar season”

Clip 1 - YOU CAN HATE ME NOW

It was a loooooong 10 days between the last clip of episode 5 and this one. Like, Trump got elected in that time, guys. I distinctly remember thinking to myself, “Goddamn, I wish Skam wasn’t on hiatus so I could have something positive to take my mind off this shit.” Which might seem frivolous, but sometimes you need a little escapism from your impending national nightmare, instead of following the news in despair for 10 hours a day and stress-eating whole bags of discount Halloween candy (which is what I actually ended up doing).

The mid-season hiatus is set up so if you’re watching in real time, you can imagine that Isak legit took a week off school, but if you’re watching after the season ended, you can buy that maybe Isak just took a weekend off from the world, and either possibility still works. That shows some forethought on Julie’s part, since she knew this season would also be viewed post-real time experience.

So the music is by Nas, not N.W.A., but Isak’s intro here definitely reminds me of what he said to Even in episode 2 , about “music that you listen to when you want to walk around feeling tough.” This is totally a moment where Isak wants to toughen up, since he’s frankly pretty fragile at the moment. I love this scene because it is so deeply real. Most of us have done this, blasted the appropriate soundtrack to psych ourselves up for something we didn’t want to do, or attempted to alter our mood with a song. The fact that this is clearly a diegetic music moment, with Isak actually wearing his earbuds, makes him seem even more vulnerable to me, ironically. Like he needs that confidence boost.

Also, the fact that this is Nas just underscores Even’s influence on Isak, and that while Isak may be trying to deal with his heartbreak, Even’s presence is still there, weighing on him.

“Escobar season has returned … it’s been a long time.” Obviously it hasn’t been that long, but it is a cheeky little nod to the hiatus, as well as the official clip title - “Returned.”

By the way, if people are wondering exactly what “Escobar season” means, here’s a little information about it. The summary is that it’s a persona Nas took on that’s like a Scarface personality, “Escobar” taken from famous Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar - who interestingly was the subject of one of Isak’s oft-mentioned TV shows, Narcos.

The Escobar facade was fully formed and ubiquitous on Nas’ 1996 album It Was Written—he endorsed the now-defunct Willie Esco clothing line around the same time. 1998’s “Hate Me Now” famously begins with the phrase, “Escobar Season has returned,” and the Esco name is retired on the hook of 1999’s “Nastradamus.” Nas says Pablo Escobar represents his first awareness of a larger-than-life crime boss who wasn’t a fictional character.

This scene is framed nicely, with Even and his friends on one side of the screen, Emma and her friends on the other (the two “love interests” of this season opposite each other as they represent different sides of Isak) and with Isak stepping in the middle of the frame, not fitting into either group.

Man, I know Isak has fucked up, but like …. this song comes on, and I see him look nervously from Emma to Even, and my heart swells for this kid. I feel so bad for him. This feels so relatable for anyone who’s ever had a problem at school - a fight with a friend, a break-up - and had to go back where they knew they’d see the person again. Or embarrassed themselves, or been bullied, and had to face the judgment of your peers. It does feel like simply showing your face again requires an incredible amount of bravery from a teenager. (See also: Eva in S1, Sana in S4). And in Isak’s case, he has to face two people who know he is gay: Emma, who is angry and could use it against him, and Even, who he wants and seemingly doesn’t want him anymore.

The lyrics might sound over the top for this situation, but of course teenage problems are always the end of the world, and Isak actually does have some real shit to deal with. When Nas says, “Looks like the death of me now,” it probably does feel like that for Isak. I’d also say this is perhaps how he felt prior to coming out at the end of the episode - it could be the end of everything as he knew it, but there’s no turning back now. This is who Isak is.

“There’s no turning back now” - the lyrics that pop up when Isak first looks at Even, happen to be similar to what Isak and Even said to each other in episode 2, on their first “date” of sorts making those cheese toasties. “We can’t turn back now” - the words that made Isak cancel his plans with the boys and Emma so he could be with Even, and also the path that’s made him so currently miserable.

Let’s just note that Isak looks tired and worn and has his hood pulled up, keeps his head down as he walks across the courtyard, and Even looks to be in terrific shape, talking with people. Which has to rub salt in the wound. Even is doing just fine, seemingly, while Isak is suffering. You know Isak is questioning whether he meant anything to Even at all.

“This is what makes me … This is who I am.” Awwww, Isak. Baby.

Isak keeps his eyes ahead of him as he walks through the yard. Not on Emma or Even, though they notice him. Like the only way he’s going to get through this is if he pretends they’re not there.

Emma notices Isak and you have to wonder what’s on her mind, because really, she kind of falls away in the second half of the season? We hear about her but after this clip she doesn’t appear until the last episode. Has she already told people Isak is gay and set the rumor mill in motion, or is that yet to come?

I am always, always going to laugh at how the lyrics “DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE” sync with Even on screen, lol. You know Isak is internally kinda like FUCK YOU EVEN!!!! but also why even … why?

But also, Even probably did not expect Isak to be this downcast about their breakup. In real time, Isak has been gone for a week, and Even almost certainly noticed. You can practically see his heart stop when he notices Isak here. And it likely hurts that Isak is pointedly not looking at Even.

Oh my God, the kid crashing into Isak and interrupting his power walk is so funny, but you feel so bad for Isak! He just wanted to pump himself up before entering the school where all these people are mad at him or don’t want to talk to him, and some rando ruins the effect. Talk about adding insult to injury. A cherry on top of the shit sundae. Again, I love it because it’s such a realistic moment, and of course Isak’s woes aren’t going to be solved by the right soundtrack. Reality intervenes.

It’s like the little girl interrupting the movie moment of the pool kiss - the music just cuts off when the illusion is destroyed. Weirdly that warms my heart a little, because the pool was Even’s attempt to recreate a movie moment, this was Isak’s attempt to create a tough guy scene, and both of them got cut short by reality. Lmao, boys.

Emma looks like she’s too engrossed with her friends to notice Isak’s collision, but Even likely saw the dude crash into Isak. Just to embarrass Isak further.

Poor Isak goes into the school and the first thing he sees is Jonas. Jonas isn’t hostile, but he’s a little distant. Reserved.

On the saga of Isak’s locker of character development, he takes a lesson from Even and bangs it open. Isak isn’t all the way there with coming out, but between the last time we’ve seen him and the locker, he’s kissed a boy for the first time and almost gotten himself a boyfriend. Even showed him how to open his locker and Isak took him up on it. Soooo… progress? He also bangs it open when Jonas is present.

Isak wants to know if Mahdi is still mad at him and Jonas says they’re not mad at him. He then takes a long pause before saying that they’re worried, like you know Isak’s weird behavior has been pressing on him and he’s finally just going to say it.

Isak tries to play it off and blames “family stuff” again and you can tell Jonas is disappointed and concerned that Isak is resorting to the same old lie.

“And I can’t sleep either.” Well, this part is actually true. It’s just you need to explain why you can’t sleep, Isak.

Jonas, a good bro, knows Isak is talking shit and not telling the whole truth, but he doesn’t argue. Just lets him know that he’s there to talk. Which is really all Jonas can do at that point. You can see Isak weighing it over as Jonas leaves, too, like … maybe Isak should talk to him. Or maybe he shouldn’t because that’s frightening. But Jonas had made it clear that he’s open to hearing the truth when Isak’s ready to share, and that’s what Isak needs to remember when Skrulle starts talking about people being islands.

Clip 2 - Noorhelm and Evak parallels

Isak really cannot sleep with all this anxiety and misery in his head. We don’t get late-night clips that often in Skam, but they were employed very well in S3 to illustrate Isak’s insomnia. That’s one of the coolest things about the real-time format, that we can get canon delivered at unconventional times to reflect the character’s reality and put us deep in their emotional state.

And of course Noora’s conversation is like … the worst thing that Isak could be hearing at that moment, since what she’s saying about her relationship with William also happens to apply to his relationship with Even.

“When you are in love, you believe that love will be like in the movies. But that’s not how it works.” This would be a solid point to make regardless of context, but it especially has to hit home for Isak, with his Romeo + Juliet watching and recreating in the pool. There was an element of fantasy with Even, of being in a love story like in the movies with a guy who views life like a film. But now the fantasy is gone.

What did Noorhelm shippers think at this point? S2 was all about Noora and William and gave them a happy ending, but now in S3, the way Noora describes what’s happened to them, it’s almost like a deconstruction of the tropes from S2. Noora is talking about how she thought she’d be with William forever, but no one lives happily ever after. Honestly, it would be a pretty interesting subversion to do a story like that on Skam, the fairy tale romance that ends up falling apart … but I wouldn’t want to spend a whole season building up to their happy ending, and then having it crumble in the background of someone else’s story. I think it’d be better if they got together by the halfway point (before the hiatus) and then showed the fall of the relationship through the rest of the season.

I mean, this is all because Thomas Hayes left the show, though, and was probably not part of Julie’s original plan. Makes you wonder how this scene was planned, though. Did Julie ever think Thomas would come back? Because this scene has somewhat different context with the Noorhelm reunion in S4, and in a scenario where Thomas didn’t return.

“There’s nobody who is willing to make any sacrifices for love in 2016.” I don’t know why, but that part of Noora’s dialogue hurts the most? It does for Isak, too, since it’s the breaking point from when he goes from trying to bury his head in his pillow to getting up and telling her to stop. Maybe because to Isak, it seems like he was willing to sacrifice for Even by lying to his friends and making them angry with him, abandoning this heterosexual farce he was performing, potentially coming out, getting into a relationship with a boy despite all the problems that may come with that … but Even just couldn’t sacrifice his relationship with Sonja. For a brief moment, it seemed like he would choose Isak, but he didn’t.

Maybe also because “nobody is willing to make sacrifices for love” is pretty disheartening to hear when you’re young and going through heartache. It makes you think this is how it’s going to be the rest of your life, it’ll never get easier. Especially painful for a closeted gay kid to hear since he’ll have additional complications in finding love.

I think Noora’s words are obviously the main reason behind what’s making Isak stressed out right now, but it can’t help to hear that Eskild’s brought a guy home. Eskild has someone and Isak is sleeping alone.

Yeah, Isak could be less of an asshole in his delivery, but he’s not wrong. Take your conversations elsewhere at 2 am. Not to sound old but it’s a school night, Noora!

Noora is pretty shocked by Isak’s attitude, though. You can see the smile drop off her face. I don’t think Noora is obsessing over Isak’s personal life or anything, especially since she’s caught up in her own drama, but I think she picks up here that Isak is going through something that’s bigger than her just talking on the phone at night.

While I don’t know if Noora and Isak would ever be best friends, I do enjoy some of the moments they have together. I like to think that Noora taking care of Even when Isak couldn’t be there, and Isak demonstrating how much love there was in that grumpy teenage boy body of his, gained some lasting respect on both ends. And on the flip side, Noora ribbing Isak about his nightstand toilet paper and Isak taking it in stride in S4 is endearing.

Isak really is a good kid. He knows he lashed out and calms down after his outburst. He even says, “Say hi to Eva,” lmao? Like RARRRRRGH STOP TALKING ON THE PHONE NOORA … okay, sorry, say hi to our mutual friend.

The fact that he pauses to tell her that William is an idiot if he gives up on her is genuinely sweet. Of course there’s some projection behind it (trying to convince himself that Even is an idiot and not worth staying up all night stressing if Even gave up on him) but it’s also just a kind, courteous thing to say, since he recognizes someone else struggling over being in love, and Noora accepts his words as such.

Obviously everyone is free to like or dislike characters for whatever reasons, but moments like this are why I don’t get why some people repeatedly bring up Isak’s shitty S1 behavior as a reason why he’s the Worst (especially in the context of “How can you like Isak but not this other character when Isak has also done bad things?”). Isak repeatedly course-corrects from his mistakes and shows consideration toward other people’s feelings, listens to their advice and perspectives, and is kind to them despite his grumpy exterior. He’s not a selfish person. I’m fine with characters who make mistakes if they apologize, show empathy to others, and try to be better people.

Clip 3 - The cheese toastie of sadness

This scene is pretty short, but the first time I watched it, I spent like a minute and a half wondering “Where is this going?” only to freak out with Even’s appearance. Oh. That’s where it was going. It lulls you into a sense of mundane drudgery only to throw a curveball, which is what Isak must be feeling. Going about his boring day, feeling like shit, only for a surprise Even encounter to throw everything off-balance.

That random guy’s voice really does sound like Henrik’s, to the point where I’m wondering if Henrik said the line and they dubbed it over (since we don’t see the dude actually say anything but “Sweet”). If not, damn, that’s a close match.

It really throws Isak, it’s like a jolt of potential Even. But it’s just a false alarm. Of course, Julie gives us a false alarm to throw us off the real appearance of Even that’s going to happen in a minute.

Plot twist - this guy is Julian Dahl and he was hoping to make a move on Isak, except Even showed up.

Here’s where Skam’s ability to not rush things really helps, because this is a small scene where the majority is focused on an everyday boring task, but it establishes Isak’s mood, give a sense of how empty and dull his life feels at the moment, isolated from his social connections and love interest. The long pauses of nothing but agonizing silence feel like forever. Just waiting in line for a cheese toastie is an ordeal.

We also see just how out of it Isak is, how that reminder of Even throws him off balance - not responding to the cafeteria worker right away, dropping his money, giving her the wrong amount.

I swear my heart jumped when Even appeared, just like Isak’s must have.

Do you think Even meant to walk up to Isak or he just happened to run into him? The former makes more sense as to why he’d be right there at the front of the cafeteria line, but Even also looks so startled and caught off guard. Or maybe he just wasn’t quite prepared to be so close to Isak again, face to face.

It really does not help that Even again looks very healthy and well put together, and Isak just looks devastated. His demeanor is so muted and physically he looks drained, like he hasn’t been sleeping. Even is feigning some energy but Isak can barely summon it.

It does wrench my heart that Isak isn’t even angry at Even here, or pretending to be fine, or anything other than depressed. He doesn’t have the strength for anything else.

Yeah, that is the saddest looking cheese toastie ever. I’d eat it if I had no other options but it’s like the food equivalent of tears.

Even tries to reestablish some friendly contact with that kardemomme reference, which is especially relevant because hey, it’s not just any old small talk, it’s their inside joke, which Even remembers. It’s a personal connection.

Oh God, and it makes me so sad that Isak gives a half-hearted laugh of recognition and tries to recreate the “kardemomme!” line but his voice is broken and not energetic.

True story: when I watched this the first time, I actually yelled, “No!!!” at my computer screen when Isak says “Kardemomme!” in that weak voice. Like, way to cause a pang in my heart, Skam. That was their beautiful bonding moment!!! It made us smile, and now it’s just a shell of its former self. You took something good and used it for evil, Skam.

Even’s smile at Isak’s attempt is genuine but falls as he realizes how messed up Isak is and how this just isn’t the same as before.

What do you think Even wanted to say before Isak ran off? I honestly have no idea. I feel like he wanted to connect with Isak on a more substantial level, IDK, maybe ask how he’s been, but who knows? There are many possibilities. Go for another joke, go for a neutral topic. Try to communicate that he still wants Isak, try to avoid that territory. But Isak couldn’t let him get another word out.

The fact that Isak can’t take anymore and runs off without waiting makes my soul turn to dust. And Even looks back at him before leaving.

I think Even really was rattled by this encounter. Like ... Isak was rough. Even broke up with him as a means of protecting them both, but clearly it didn’t work as well as he hoped since Isak is suffering. You know he’s thinking to himself, You did this. You made him hurt like this. And I think this is when Even starts to reconsider whether it was the right move to break up with him. Maybe even for himself, because he misses Isak so much and having Isak not want to talk to him, barely able to look at him, is too much to handle.

Clip 4 - The queen of Skam returns

Time for the Norwegian goddess of wisdom to make another appearance!

Lmao, the opening conversation is about someone pissing her pants while exercising. The women blame it on a lack of Kegel exercises. This is all openly discussed in the waiting room within earshot of Isak. Somehow I think Dr Skrulle is in her element. Nissen’s medical staff must just attract ladies prone to TMI and bizarre anecdotes.

The “eye exam” poster in the office says YOU SHOULD BE WORKING NOW, by the way.

Oh man, this was the point when fans thought Isak was going to steal Linn’s sleeping pills, or get sleeping pills and OD on them! Such a tense week. Isak is so miserable that it felt like something drastic could happen. We were all yelling for something good to happen this week.

I feel like when you step into this doctor’s office, time and space are slightly altered.

Truly there is nothing like Isak taking a seat and immediately within his line of vision is the good doctor and a dildo. He must feel like the presence of an artificial penis is the world is taunting him again.

This scene’s funny because Isak gets to play the straight man (ha ha) to the doctor. She exists in her own world and Isak is just this befuddled teenager trying to make sense of her.

Isak can barely look at Skrulle when he’s telling her about his problems. I guess you could read this scene as Isak badly wanting those pills and playing up his distress so she’ll give them to him, but I think he really is that miserable, as evidenced by everything we’ve seen of him this week, and he has trouble opening up to anyone about his problems so this is probably a last resort for him.

“I don’t drive a car, though.” AS WE WILL LEARN IN S4.

I remember that one interview Tarjei gave where he was going over his traffic problems, and lol, I feel you, kid.

Legit nothing like a Skrulle story to put your problems in perspective. Also, A+ segue from the story of someone getting into an accident and ending up in a wheelchair to asking Isak more about his sleep problems. And by A+ segue I mean there is no segue at all.

Isak’s sleep has gotten worse over the past few weeks, for reasons that are quite obvious to the viewers. Even’s presence will do that to you.

The doctor wants to refer Isak to a mental health clinic, and he doesn’t want that. In fact, Isak is really, really against this, like … more than just not wanting to, he’s vehemently saying no over and over. This absolutely has to do with his ableist beliefs and his stigma against the mentally ill. Isak definitely isn’t going to be like one of those people. Isak can’t be mentally ill. He can’t talk to a therapist. Just like he didn’t want to be scene as one of those ultra-gay people, he can’t lump himself in with people who need help with their mental health. Those people are crazy.

I remember right after this scene I wondered if Isak would actually go to the mental health clinic where he would run into Even, and that’s how we would learn that Even also has mental health issues. I was going to say that it would have been an awkward moment for them ... but then I realized, it can’t be any worse than how Isak did learn about Even’s mental illness.

Note that in S1, the girls went together to provide support for Vilde, but here in S3, Isak has to do this on his own. Makes sense that Skrulle’s advice ends up being about him not isolating himself and reaching out to others.

You know, I think of the locker room scene as a turning point in the season, but this scene is quietly a turning point as well. Skrulle gives Isak advice that will help him throughout the rest of the season. He can’t keep isolating himself. It’s advice that will not only help Isak, but allow him to extend that help to Even, and even to Sana in the next season. Even though the good doc expresses it in a quirky way, it’s solid advice.

“Don’t you have someone you can talk to?” “TALK TO JONAS,” screamed everyone watching.

Clip 5 - Jonas is king of the bros

Watching this week in real time was so stressful, Isak was so melancholic and alone, and this scene was such. a. relief. It would’ve been wonderful in any context, but it felt like a godsend after seeing Isak go through hell clip after clip.

One of the most observant details about the clip is Isak’s hesitation. He’s about to do something big and it’s not easy to just launch into it. He stands and watches Jonas for a little bit because, you know, it’s Jonas and Jonas is his best bro, but that doesn’t crush all the doubts in his head about what Jonas’ reaction could be. Not to mention he and Jonas haven’t had the best relationship lately.

But Jonas is still friendly when Isak approaches him. Perhaps he realizes that this is when Isak is going to tell him about whatever’s on his mind. Plus, you know, I’m sure he missed Isak! They’re best friends, it can’t have been great from Jonas’ POV to feel shut out from him.

I don’t know if there was any strategy involved in getting kebab other than teenage boys needing kebab to live, but it works as an icebreaker/apology of sorts (since Isak is paying) and I think, a buffer? It helps if there’s an activity like eating happening when Isak comes out, and that he’s not just telling a personal secret with nothing else to occupy Jonas’ attention.

Also, that they’re sitting on a bench side by side in this scene reminds me of all those Tumblr posts about how common it is for LGBT people to come out in cars, and how it’s easier to do when you’re not face to face. Isak and Jonas are looking at each other and making eye contact, but I do think it helps to have your bodies facing forward rather than toward each other. It gives a little distance, makes it less intimidating for Isak.

I just want to shout out that poster in the kebab shop window, which says, “EVERYDAY IT’S KEBAB TIME.” You’re damn right it is.

I feel like Jonas is telling this random puke story to Isak so Isak can work up to whatever he’s going to say. You can tell Isak’s listening but he’s not 100% there.

By the way, this puke story sounds like it could be about Magnus, except Isak says, “It’s never the ones that you expect that throw up,” and Magnus is absolutely someone I would expect to ruin his chances with a girl by throwing up all over her feet. Maybe this story was about the mysterious Julian Dahl!

Continuing on the point above about Isak’s hesitation, the pacing of this scene is a huge part of what makes it so great. Because Isak doesn’t sit down and start coming out right away, he doesn’t have a speech prepared (not that that it’s wrong or unrealistic to prepare a speech, but with Isak, he’s not a preparedspeech kind of guy). He has to work up his courage piece by piece over this conversation. He lets Jonas bullshit a bit, there’s a long silence where Isak keeps glancing over at Jonas as they eat, and you know he’s working out his nerves, wondering about Jonas’ reaction, getting himself to the point where he can just say it. Tarjei’s acting in this scene is so subtle and spectacular.

Jonas is such a dear, though. Marlon does this scene really really well because Jonas isn’t like … overcompensating or overly enthusiastic, he’s not pressing Isak too much. He’s very casual, but you can also see, for instance, when Isak brings up that he’s been acting weird lately, that Jonas looks at him attentively, ready to listen, because finally Isak is going to open up.

Just saying “there’s a person that I like” is a big thing for Isak to get out. He doles the information out little by little, he makes Jonas work for it. I think that what Isak is aiming for is similar to what many viewers suspect he wanted from Eva in S1. In the kitchen scene where Eva confronts Isak about ratting her out to Iben, Isak asks her to guess why he did it. You can make a case that he wants her to guess the real reason, that he has feelings for Jonas and is jealous - that maybe a part of him wants her to know and to take it off his mind. But of course she doesn’t guess and he runs with a lie instead. Here, I wouldn’t be surprised if Isak wants Jonas to say it before he has to - that he can come out without needing to say the words.

This is a pretty heartwarming scene, but Isak actually breaks my heart a little when he asks Jonas to guess. There’s so much fragility wrapped up in that moment and in Tarjei’s performance! This poor kid is so nervous.

Although bless Jonas for guessing Vilde, because it probably did give Isak a little moment to be like WTF, no, and make him laugh.

After that, Jonas says, “Can’t you just tell me?” But of course no, Isak can’t just tell him, because that’s very hard.

I mentioned it in my episode 5 review but again, Isak doesn’t come out by saying he is gay and then going into his relationship with Even. Instead, he phrases everything in terms of actions, in some roundabout ways. he coming out is a step by step process. First, it’s that Isak is acting weird because he likes someone. Then “It’s not a girl.” He doesn’t even say, “It’s a guy,” he says it’s not a girl because that’s the less direct way of saying it, of course.

Isak gets so alert and on edge after he says it’s not a girl. Waiting and watching for Jonas’ reaction. Nervous as to what’s it going to be. Meanwhile Jonas just keeps eating that fucking kebab. Like Isak could have said, “The reason I’ve been acting so strange lately is that I found out Donald Trump is my uncle,” and Jonas would have been like munch munch munch.

I think the fact that Jonas reacts so nonchalantly when he says, “Is it me?” helps Isak quite a bit. Not only is it a funny comment, but like … if Jonas is so casual about Isak potentially liking him, then surely he can’t be that bothered by Isak liking another boy? And Jonas is just like, “What, am I completely unattractive?” Which again, is a joke but also lets Isak know that Jonas is chill, he’s not worried about Isak the predatory gay guy perving on Jonas or any of those homophobic stereotypes.

And obviously, this scene is hilarious if you’ve seen S1 and are calling bullshit on Isak not liking Jonas. No, Jonas, I don’t like you! WTF! Bruh, you set fire to Eva’s social standing and her relationship because you had a crush on her boyfriend.

But man, you can see Isak lighten up sooooo much after this exchange. He got the words out there and Jonas didn’t react badly, they managed to joke about it, so far everything is the same between them. The happiness in his eyes is observable.

I don’t think Jonas had completely guessed Isak was gay, or dating a boy, until this moment. I feel like there were a number of things that seemed odd to him, including that random guy who brought Isak his hat and was at the lockers with him, that Jonas filed away as “huh” moments and that are starting to slot into place with Isak’s admission here. We know that Jonas recognized the “left your hat in the cafeteria” story as bullshit (clarified in the script), so he’s been picking up here and there on things that seem unusual or out of place.

You can see Jonas mouth “Even” to himself after Isak says the name, and it’s such a small gesture but it’s the sweetest thing? Like he’s making sure to absorb this detail, or that he’s finally putting a name to a face, and to the cause of all Isak’s weirdness lately. There’s a warmth to it.

Lmao, Jonas saying Even is a good-looking guy and Isak reacting with laughter and bafflement. It’s a silly moment but Jonas is kind of complimenting Isak here, like hey, good taste, or hey, congrats on bagging such a hottie. Not to mention he’s showing how chill he is with talking about guys’ attractiveness, something Isak himself struggles with. Of course there are higher stakes for Isak to admit a guy is hot when he’s actually gay and Jonas is a straight dude, meaning it’s not as loaded of a statement, but still, it’s positive for Isak to be around guys who can just say other guys look good and have it not be the end of the world.

Also, this is probably how Jonas would react if Isak was telling him he liked a girl. You like Emma? She’s hot. Letting Isak in on all these bro bonding moments, not excluding him from this social exchange just because he’s not straight.

And I’m really fond of Jonas being like “What am I supposed to say?” and Isak saying, “I don’t know myself.” To them, they’re not a PSA. They don’t know the “right” words for when someone comes out. They’re just two friends eating kebab on a bench together. Because yeah, there are obvious wrong ways to react to someone coming out, but there’s also no approved script for what to say. Each person is going to be different. I mean, if Jonas made a big deal of it, like, “You are my friend no matter what and I support you,” it would have been a nice gesture, certainly, but that’s not really the relationship he and Isak have, so this would make it artificial and maybe a little awkward. In fact, not having a pre-approved coming out script is a good thing, because Jonas not knowing what to say means he draws on his normal banter and conversation with Isak, which makes it better! That way he’s just treating it like a typical conversation. By reacting casually and not making it a big deal at all, Jonas gives Isak what he needs - nothing is going to change between them, not really. Considering that one of Isak’s greatest fears is that people will think of him differently and judge him a certain way if they know he’s gay, this must be a massive relief to him.

Additionally, imagine what a relief it is for Isak to be able to give Jonas a rundown of what’s happening with Even. To get off his chest the problems with him and Even; Isak don’t know what’s going on with Even, who has a girlfriend. This is the benefit of him coming out and being honest with Jonas. Suddenly all this shit he’s been bottling up, unable to talk to anyone about, can go through another set of ears. Jonas doesn’t even need to give him great advice or anything. Isak just needs someone to talk to.

Can Isak take some of his father’s guilt money and buy a phone case? Please???

Isak swallows when he realizes what the note in his pocket is. In-universe, it’s really a coincidence that he found the note right after talking to Jonas, but thematically, I don’t think it’s irrelevant that Isak’s bleak week ends after he opens up to someone.

THIS DRAWING. Gosh, it punches me right in the heart? First of all, adorable, and I love that Even always draws Isak with the snapback, and cartoon Even’s hair, and how cartoon Isak is slightly smaller than cartoon Even. But this is actually quite creative and clever of Even, too. I mean, he could have left him a more straightforward note or drawing, but he takes an original concept that’s so them to create something very memorable.

Even has taken several things that are relevant and specific to Isak-and-Even - the inside joke of the cheese toast with cardamom - and a weightier concept that was important to Isak - the parallel universes. Remember, Even wasn’t a fan of the parallel universes when Isak first mentioned them! However, here he’s using them in a way that’s more positive, he’s seeing the benefit of Isak’s worldview.

But what gets me about this sketch is the longing behind it. We have the reality, Isak eating his plain cheese toast alone. And we have the potential other reality, Isak and Even eating their far superior cardamom cheese toast together. It’s something of a kindness to Isak, telling him that somewhere they are together, but also expressing Even’s own desire to be with him. He does want to be with Isak. It’s just that they can’t be together, for mysterious reasons. It’s so bittersweet! They’re together, just not this Isak and this Even.

Even drew this for Isak after seeing him broken and depressed in the cafeteria. I think he really did not know how badly Isak was going to take the breakup and wanted to give him some comfort. This drawing is evidence of Even’s second thoughts.

Lol, and Jonas can’t know the full significance of this sketch, but it doesn’t take a genius to recognize that Even’s giving him handmade drawings of him and Isak together, and to see that for what it is.

“He needs to break up with his girlfriend.” Awww. What a sweet, encouraging thing, to say, and Isak smiles to himself. Things are coming up Valtersen.

This clip is when the hearts on the website turned into rainbow colors, and that alone makes me want to weep. I believe this was one of the most liked clips ever, and logically I do think it was because people were like, “Oooo, pretty!” and hitting that like button to see the rainbow, but I mean. This clip also deserves it.

The fact that this scene is based off a real story also makes me want to cry.

This week was so bleak and hard to get through, Isak just was in a terrible place, and I cannot express the release that the audience felt watching this scene.

The music over the credits is “Express Yourself” by N.W.A. Excellent both because, yeah, express yourself and you’ll be happier, Isak! Be true to who you are! And because Isak had previously mentioned N.W.A. as an example of “music you want to listen to when you want to feel tough.” This is Isak feeling pretty damn confident after things went right.

General Comments

There was very little social media this week, which makes total sense considering the state Isak is in. He’s cut off from all of his social connections.

One of Isak’s most redeeming qualities is his ability to learn from his mistakes. In an example from this week’s social media, he’s apologetic to Eskild in a text message. Eskild ribs him about what Isak said, saying that Eskild is busy working on a mascara collection with Kylie Jenner, before saying that they’re cool, basically. I think Eskild did take Isak’s comments pretty hard but realizes that Isak is young and insecure and not unable to learn.

There is an IG photo from Jonas with Mahdi and Magnus - boy squad minus Isak, just to rub it in (though I doubt that’s why Jonas posted it, to hurt Isak, but it does show how disconnected Isak is).

One of the other few text convos is between Kollektivet, where Isak only supplies one line but Linn mentions taking sleeping pills. For like a day or two, the fan theories were all about Isak stealing her sleeping pills in order to get some rest and accidentally ODing and needing to go to the hospital or something similar.

Isak’s mom sends him a religious text at almost 2 in the morning on Friday, hours before he comes out to Jonas. On the one hand, her texts are another source of stress to Isak. On the other, this text is … actually pretty positive? It’s a Bible verse, Joshua 1:9, which is:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

A lot of Isak’s mom’s texts are about sin, they’re negative and judgmental in nature. This one, by contrast, is affirming. So I think that, even with Mama Valtersen’s texts being a cause for alarm, it’s possible that this text helped Isak before he came out to Jonas. Even with Isak not being a religious person, a general message of being strong and courageous can be an inspiring thing. If that’s the case, then I like that his mom could end up being a source of comfort to her son even prior to episode 9.

#skam reactions #skam season 3 #skam #isak valtersen #evak

126 notes · View notes