#I’ll be back again to stay

[fregget-frou]

@autisticempathydaemon said they loved my Angel listener (along with everything else it was SO SWEETTT OMLLL<333) so here’s a doodle for you! They’re also one of my favorites!

Look at that face.

Full of mischief.

Some fun facts about them: they’re native! Specifically they could be from the Salishan (but I don’t know too much so I leave it ambiguous) and are half Filipino, born and raised in British Columbia, Canada around Vancouver. They were raised by their mom and brothers, then moving to dahlia for college.

They originally planned to secure a high end job in Vancouver just going to California for school but they met David. They still visit their family as often as they can.

They’re 5’4, the shortest listener! Aklag is still beefy and could definitely throw David over their head. Their callouses are from being raised on a farm, and they’re starting to fade now.

I took them out of another story I made a while ago so I’m still trying to tweak them seamlessly so I’ll actually maybe probably not but make a backstory sheet for my listeners?

Thank you sm for your words and I hope you like it!

#I originally took them from an old idea I had for a book #basically their family got torn apart after their mom died so they left to California to try to avoid it #see their short hair in my first drawings of them and now after a couple years it’s long again #they were really connected to their mom so her death hit them really hard kinda making a wall around them #instead of being grumpy it’s more of a shallowish happiness of avoidance #David was really the only person to get through to them and I find it very convenient that they’re both parallels #I also made Darlin’ native and originally one of their childhood friends #darling moved to Washington #they stayed in British Columbia #not really being able to be themself #not fully being able to embrace their native nor Filipino heritage #just an idea of someone dealing with grief and I like how that they’ve evolved last my og idea thru Raudio #hint hint their slow hair growth and gaining back of weight to show their healing process #eventually I’ll draw their brothers #aurgghh I just like them a lot and had a lot of unfinished ideas for them I’m glad people like them #redacted asmr #freggzocs #freggzartz #redacted audio #redacted audio fanart #redacted asmr fanart #redacted asmr angel

[katara-stan-club]

Talking over the Ventress episode with my mom has (I think) solidified that as much as I liked Ventress and love the fight sequence, it really felt like the middle of the season got derailed just to have Ventress show up and maybe tease a Ventress show? Whether it be how she survived as part of Tales of the Jedi s2 or in a new spinoff show about The Path or something, this appearance didn’t feel natural for TBB to us. Granted, maybe by the end of the season we’ll feel differently and be eating humble pie, but that’s where we stand right now.

More rambling under the cut, you have been warned.

Like it really feels that they specifically had Rex not know what an M-count is just so Ventress could show up and say it, which feels a little :/ come on now. Between Rex possibly having contact with Ahsoka and being the Captain under Anakin “The Chosen One” Skywalker, it feels very odd to have him NOT know what the hell M-count could be.

It’s also frustrating from a narrative perspective to have 2 episodes dedicated to the gang finding out what M-count means, when we the audience have known what it meant since it was first mentioned! I would’ve been fine with Fennec saying at the end of last episode something like “All I know is M-count is something to do with the Jedi, so good luck with whatever you need that info for cause the Empire will never let it go”, and then the Ventress episode could have instead been “well is it safer to stay on Pabu and hope the Empire doesn’t know where we are, or are we endangering all these people’s lives by being here? Can we ever have a stable place to live, or should we constantly be on the run from the Empire, thus painting a bigger target on us by giving us more opportunities to run into them?” But by having both episodes be “what could M-count mean for Omega?” and basically tell us what we already know: they are never gonna be safe from the Empire because they will never stop looking for Omega, it feels like a lot of ground was lost that could have been dedicated to other things, like letting Omega interact with characters other than Crosshair.

Also it’s such a weird episode cause they kinda had to avoid the whole Ventress died thing because that would bog down the episode by confusing people who hadn’t read The Dark Disciple, but it leaves people who know about it hanging with how the hell it happened?? Like there’s that one line about many lives but it doesn’t really answer anything, which is whatever but at the same time super frustrating cause it feels like such an unnecessary can of worms to open? Especially in the last half of the last season of a show that’s already got A Lot going on.

I do wonder how different I would’ve felt about this episode if it had been Quinlan instead of Ventress, because A) he’s not dead and B) we already know he’s got Stuff he’s doing (The Path) so it’s not unreasonable to see hints of it early on in the reign of the Empire. Also having another character of color come back would’ve been nice, since we STILL haven’t actually seen Phee outside of one singular holocall this season, let alone any sighting of Shep and Lyana.

#me #star wars #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #idk man it’s wild that this show has me kinda upset they brought Ventress back #it just felt like an unnecessary detour into Hey We’re Doing More Ventress Stuff In A Different Show Soon! Stay Tuned For More! #again maybe by the end of the show I’ll feel different but that’s how I feel right now #we could’ve had the batch talking their fears about staying on Pabu with Shep man! we could’ve had Omega and Lyana interacting again!!

[orchidyoonkook]

Personal

Hi.

How did you get over your quarter life crisis?

Because I’m trying not to fall into the vast unyielding void. And I’m failing hilariously.

#TAG RANT. CAN IGNORE. YOON JUST NEEDS TO GET HER THOUGHTS OUT. #filler tag to push the rest of the rant down past the cut off point. #i literally don’t know what I’m going to do with my life and I can’t decide anything. #do I stay in flowers #do I leave flowers #do I try and get into film again #do I move to Europe #or delay that and go back to school for the one thing that’s always brought me pure happiness #or do I move out of my city #but in all of this I have to consider my partner and what he wants #but I don’t know what to do. i don’t know what the right thing for me is and I can’t afford a therapist so I ramble on the internet in hopes #of a shiny beacon of something rings into my head and figures everyhting out for me #like. I’ll be 25 in April. a ways off. but I’m 25 and I haven’t done anything. i don’t know what I’m supposed to do?? i had a life plan that #was derailed so hilariously hard by COVID that cannot be mended. and this is the first time I haven’t had a plan or a solid goal and so now #I’m floating in the middle of the pacific wondering which direction to turn in hopes of finding land #i have nothing to work towards and I miss who I was. i want to be that again. i wanna be her again. but it’s so difficult to do that. #anyway. rant over. needed to get that out. thanks for reading if you did. #this actually made me feel a lot better hope moly.

[mootmuse]

shoves this message into a bottle and sends it back in time to every person in charge of every single one of jr ntr’s outfits in every dance he did in every one of the movies he filmed back when he was chubby:

your movie’s spent all this time building his character up to be so cool and so badass and so sexy and you change your mind at the last second? ‘they’ll only believe he’s sexy until they find out he’s chubby, got to hide it!’ no. incorrect. his outfits are being designed by cowards and fools. if his love interest gets to dance in cute little form fitting outfits so does he. stop putting him in potato sacks like we don’t want to see him. you tell me I should be into him and then you cockblock me like this

#jr ntr #just finished watching aadi and this is once again on my mind #the rant which is and was and will be #i WILL rant about this again #it might have been this movie but there was even a dance where his backup dancers were shirtless and oiled up #and he was in MULTIPLE LAYERS #are they fucking with me on purpose???? #why are y’all making a movie designed to be like oh this guy is so cool if you can’t fuckin commit #move aside I’ll design his outfits #i heard he got assholes in the press making comments about his weight back in the day #make me his outfit designer and i will take care of them too #i will never get to see just how hot he was when he was chubby and it kills me #they were all fools #except whoever put him in that undershirt at the beginning of rakhi. that person can stay

[samglyph]

Not me considering subscribing to patreon just so I don’t have to wait until September to hear John. It’s dire out here.

#I’ll stay strong and just relisten to other episodes. again. #listen I’m happy for the Collins fans but he is not my blorbo I want my guy back #malevolent spoilers

[haetrack]

mark getting off on facetime anon here… i did in fact go straight to sleep after sending that LMAO. i’m actually the same anon who wanted to skip her lab a couple days ago 😭😭 WHICH I DID GO TO BTW DW 🫡 while i’m here, can i be 🌱 anon!

ANYWAY IM SO HAPPY PPL ACTUALLY ENJOYED IT, it was def an unprovoked hard thought i had, so it felt kinda messy. but i don’t write on here, (as of yet🫣) i’ve had this big 3 parter fic in my google docs planned out but i’ve been writing the first part for like a year now and only touch it like every four months. maybe one day i’ll finish up my fic and expose myself🧍‍♂️

which is why i genuinely have so much respect for u guys that write on here frequently, ik everyone’s got lives outside of this and the fact that u guys make time to write for urselves and also us readers is so cool (like writing our requests!! i love that writers on here are able to create something for ppl who have such amazing ideas but don’t write). this is just me confessing my undying love to all the tumblr writers out there, i come here to escape and u guys never fail me 🫶🫶 mwah

HIII OH MY GODDD of course u can be 🌱 anon

this is so crazy i hope ur lab went well… u are so much better than all of us…

i am literally so happy u sent me ur hard thoughts… very much appreciated and if u ever have any more… please send them my way. ALSO. if u ever decide to post a fic on here, please tag me in it i don’t care i’ll be the first one reading it TRUST

i also wanna thank u for ur nice words 🙁 me and so many writers appreciate when u go out of ur way to send us stuff. it def makes writing much more fun KNOWING that there’s people actually enjoying it. so this is me also professing my undying love to anons and blogs like u who actually send us feedback… WE LOVE U SO BAD… 🫂❤️

#asks #🌱 anon #im so happy u came back… #I WAS LIKE what if i never hear from them again 😞 #i hope u stay and read my works in the future #there’s plenty to come #i’ll always be here to hear ur thoughts… not even just the hard ones

[alwritey-aphrodite]

one

Chapter 1 of I’ll Be Back Again To Stay

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: Santiago Garcia x single mom!reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: parenthood/kids, if that isn’t your thing

Author’s Note: Santiago is quite literally not even mentioned in this chapter… I had to set it up, ok? He’ll be here, don’t worry

The blaring of your phone wakes you up: it seems like no matter which alarm sound you use, it always yanks you aggressively from your slumber. You can feel a chill, even through all of your blankets, and a glance through your curtain gap shows you snow falling, powdery and fat.

Reluctantly, you get out of bed and start your day. It’s earlier than you’d normally wake up, and you’re especially exhausted with how late you had to stay up packing, and then it was practically impossible for you to fall asleep with your brain running through all of the worst case scenarios.

A glance at your weather app tells you the flurries should be stopping within the hour, and you feel like you can breathe a little easier. The last thing you need right now is getting your flight delayed.

You hurry through your morning routine to pack up the rest of your toiletries, and then move on to packing up your carryon, crossing things off your list as you go. As soon as you feel decently prepared, you go wake up Inez.

In her five years of existence, Inez has never been one to wake up before she’s ready. She’d sleep in till noon if she feels like it, and if you wake her up a minute sooner, you’ll be dealing with a grumpy kindergartener. So, you know the only way she’ll get out of bed and ready to go is if you bribe her.

“C’mon, baby, we can’t be late to see Aunt Sydney.” It’s been at least five minutes, and she still has a death grip on her blankets, her head completely covered.

“She can wait.” You really were raising a stubborn little girl.

Most of the time, she was well behaved, but she always had a little bit of sass. During parent-teacher conferences, Inez’s kindergarten teacher had told you she was “a leader”, which really meant that she wouldn’t let the other kids tell her what to do.

Which was fine by you. All that mattered was that she listened to you and her teachers, and always used her manners. You know for a fact that there are other kids in that class that are far bossier than she is.

Now, though, she’s letting all that stubbornness shine through.

“I’ll let you pick out any donut you want at the airport. And watch movies on my phone.”

“Deal,” she responds, springing out of bed, making a grin bloom on your face.

She didn’t know that was your plan all along. Sometimes, she just needed to feel like she was making the rules, and that’s fine by you.

You help her brush her teeth and pick out her outfit, letting her get dressed while you pack up her toiletries, along with the stuffed animals she’s picked out. She can’t sleep without at least three, and when you left her unsupervised with the luggage last night, she had tried to stuff ten of them inside.

You do one last double check of all of your luggage, before bundling Inez up in her winter jacket. Naturally, she complained about it, so you told her she could take it off once you got to the airport. You already had a lighter jacket for her in your carryon, knowing she’d get cold as soon as you got to security and the suitcases were checked.

Still, she was a little pouty, and understandably so. You woke her up early to bustle her off to some place she’s never been. It’s her first time in an airplane, and she’s a little bit nervous, even though she claims she’s not.

But, surprisingly, the terrifying horse outside of the Denver airport seems to cheer her up.

“Momma! Look at that scary horsie!” Her face is all pressed up against the window, but she still has a giant grin on her face.

While Inez was mostly a pleasant kid, wrangling her and two large suitcases was nothing short of a miracle. Lucky for you, there was no line at the check-in desk, and the worker seemed charmed by all that Inez had to share, even giving her a sticker which she immediately stuck to the front of her t-shirt.

Someone out there must be looking out for you, because there was barely any line at security either. So far, the day has been smooth sailing. You just hope that Inez keeps her good mood and high spirits throughout the flight.

After making it through security, finding a donut for Inez, and figuring out where your gate was, you still had plenty of time before your flight. You shoot Sydney a text that says 30 minutes til boarding! and she quickly responds with a bunch of cheering emojis.

When you look up from your phone, you have to stifle a laugh at Inez, who somehow managed to smear frosting up onto her forehead, in addition to the ring around her mouth.

“Will Santa bring me presents at Auntie Syd’s house?” Inez asks you as you do your best to wipe all of the frosting off her face.

“Of course he will.”

“Good, because otherwise we should stay here.”

Inez absolutely adored Sydney, who had been your best friend all throughout college. She’s had your back through everything, all the ups and downs, she was your entire support system most of your pregnancy. She even lived with you for the first few months of Inez’s life, and the two of them continue to have a strong bond, even now that Syd lives in a different state.

Sydney had to move to North Carolina for work two years ago, and had always come back to spend the holidays with you and Inez, who Sydney lovingly called Squish, a nickname born only shortly after Inez, because she was such a chunky little baby.

This year, though, Syd had invited you and Inez to spend the holidays with her and her now long-term boyfriend, Will. You’d been hesitant at first, terrified of intruding and making what should be a happy time awkward, but Sydney had insisted and Will promised it would be no trouble at all.

You’d only met Will one time before, when he flew out with Sydney for Inez’s birthday back in May. He was a sweet guy and nothing short of a gentleman, indulging Inez in any game she wanted to play. He arm-wrestled with her and let her win every time, played tag and hide-and-go-seek with her, and let her hang off of him like a little spider monkey, all without complaint.

So you agreed to spend the holidays with them, along with a few extra weeks. It really was a win-win scenario: you were able to work from anywhere, and Inez was only in kindergarten, so she can miss more school without it being completely detrimental to her. And you get to spend time with one of your favorite people ever. So really, a win-win-win.

You don’t have a long time to get settled before they’re calling you for boarding, so you juggle Inez and your backpack and the tickets and make your way onto the plane. Everyone seems enthralled by Inez this morning, and you can’t help but smile at her interaction with the flight attendant that’s helping with boarding.

And she gets to add another airline sticker to her t-shirt.

Lucky for you, it’s not a full flight, so you and Inez get a whole row to yourself. She claims the window seat and demands you sit in the middle, so you oblige her, because her peace of mind is more important to you than how physically comfortable you are.

She looks out at the snow covered ground as the plane takes off, and then promptly forgets about the window for the rest of the flight. You’d been worried about her getting bored, so you packed her coloring books and crayons, picture books, even activity sheets you’d printed out.

But, it seems she had no interest in those or the movies you’d downloaded onto your phone for her. Instead, she cuddled up with Blob the Monkey, and then in some impressive contortionist impression, she practically sits herself in your lap and falls asleep with her head on your chest.

You’re glad you decided to throw your book into your carry-on at the last minute, because Inez is down for the count. You manage to reach it without jostling her around too much, and you thank your lucky stars that she doesn’t wake up.

You spend the rest of the flight reading and rubbing small circles onto Inez’s back, trying to keep her asleep for as long as possible. With waking her up early for a big travel day and the next few weeks being full of excitement, you knew she needed every second of sleep she could get.

Three hours later, the plane finally lands, and Inez wakes up from her nap. You’re amazed at the fact that she doesn’t have a single sore spot in her body from the way she was sleeping, and is more energetic than you’ve ever seen her.

You shoot Sydney a text to let her know that you’ve landed, and that you’ll probably be ready for her to pick you up in 45 minutes. You had told her that it would be just as easy to rent a car, but she had insisted on picking you up. You didn’t mind, because it was less work for you, but Sydney was almost always late.

You exit the plane, hanging onto Inez’s hand as tight as possible while you try to maneuver your way to baggage claim, where Sydney promised to meet you. You can tell Inez is getting antsy with the way she pulls against your hand. She’s so excited she’s practically vibrating.

And, to your surprise, Will and Sydney are waiting for you when you enter the baggage claim area. When she notices, Inez slips out of your hold and sprints over to them, right into Sydney’s arms.

While Sydney squeezes Inez as if she’ll never see her again, you pull Will into a hug of your own. You’d only met him the one other time, but he really was a great guy and you were just counting down the days until the two of them got married.

When they came to visit last time, you’d told them, “Better make it quick, Inez is at prime flower girl age.” You’d been joking, but not really.

Sydney was your family, and Will wouldn’t be a terrible addition.

Once Inez is released from Syd’s grip, you’re the one being pulled into a bone-crushing hug. Even though the two of you talk to each other every day, it’s really not the same as seeing each other in person. You’d take her crushing your ribs over not seeing her any day.

“I’m surprised you were here on time,” you say as the four of you make your way over to the baggage carousel, Inez seated on Will’s shoulders.

“That’s because of him,” Sydney responds, “I was going to keep you waiting.”

“Well, thank god for Will.” That earns you a chuckle from the man in question, who hauls Inez off his shoulders to pull your suitcases from the carousel, despite your insistence that you could do it. You really didn’t mind, you just didn’t want Will to feel like he had to help you.

But, from what Sydney told you, he likes to feel needed, to feel helpful, and if that means he hauls your heavy suitcases and carries around your daughter, you really don’t mind.

There’s a definite chill when you finally step outside to make your way to Sydney’s car, but it’s nowhere near as bad as back home, where it’s been regularly below freezing since Thanksgiving. Here, you definitely need a jacket, but it’s not so cold that you feel like you’ll get frostbite the second you step outside.

The drive back to Sydney’s house is relatively short, but still long enough for Inez to sing along to the holiday songs playing on the radio. You haven’t been to her house since you helped her move in two years ago, but it looks just as cozy as you remember it.

It’s two stories, and painted a deep navy on the outside, with a red door that Inez had demanded was included, to match your door back home. Syd, of course, indulged her.

When you enter, bags and Inez in tow, you take in all of the changes Sydney and Will have made since you last visited. It looks different, but it still feels like home.

And, the picture of you and Sydney with newborn Inez is still in the spot of honor on her mantle. If she sees you tear up when you spot it, she doesn’t mention it.

The holidays are always a highly emotional time, both for positive and negative feelings. And spending them alone, or practically alone, only amplifies that. So, you’re eternally grateful to Sydney and Will for inviting you to stay with them.

Logically, you know you aren’t an imposition, and that Syd has been itching to spend more time with you and Inez, but it still feels like they’ve made some sort of huge sacrifice in including you.

Really, it wasn’t as if you had any crazy holiday plans. Christmas Eve was going to be spent with Sydney while Will visits with his buddies, and then Christmas Day has you and Inez relaxing on your own when Syd and Will spend the day with his family.

So really, no sacrifices are being made, except of their guest bedroom.

Since they only have the one room with the one bed, you’re sharing with Inez, which wouldn’t be an issue if she wasn’t a sleep-kicker. You’ve ended up punched in the face more times than you can count.

After a simple lunch, you spend the rest of the afternoon unpacking and settling in, actually putting your clothes away in the closet and dresser, something you wouldn’t have done if you weren’t at your best friend's house and if you weren’t staying for almost a month.

The hours pass by with you and Sydney catching up, making up for all of the times that texting or FaceTime just weren’t enough. Inez and Will have more arm-wrestling matches than you can count. Honestly, you’re amazed at how well he interacts with her, possessing a patience you don’t often see outside of parents.

Following your quick dinner of delivery pizza, Inez is bathed and put to bed early to make up for the time difference and the early start to her day. And, luckily, she practically passes out as soon as her head hits the pillow, barely staying awake for the entirety of her bedtime story.

Now, you find yourself settled on the couch, wrapped in a cocoon of fuzzy blankets and warm lamp light, the cheesy Hallmark movie playing quietly on the TV only adding to the cozy atmosphere.

“So… we have something to ask you,” Sydney starts, breaking the almost silence that had naturally settled over the living room.

“Yes, I will be your maid of honor.” Your comment earns you an eye roll from Syd and a swift but gentle kick to your outstretched leg from Will. You can’t help but to fall into a fit of laughter.

There’s nothing you love more than teasing your best friend.

“Haha, you’re hilarious.” Syd deadpans before continuing, “No, we wanted to talk to you about Christmas.”

“What about it?”

Sydney shifts to sit up, swinging her legs off the couch to turn her body towards you. Will hunches forward, leaning his elbows on his knees and his chin in her hands. Their body language screams we know you won’t like this.

“So, every year, Will and his buddies and his little brother all do this casual Christmas Eve thing, and Frankie’s daughter’s almost the same age as Inez, and we just thought-“

“Syd, slow down,” you cut her off, sitting up from your relaxed position on the couch, “you really aren’t making a lot of sense.”

“Maybe we all go? I think you’d love ‘em, they’re great, really.”

“I’m sure they’re amazing, but I’ve never met them. Wouldn’t it be weird to spend a holiday with a group of guys I’ve never met before?” While it’s not unusual for Sydney to have some out of the box ideas, you truly weren’t expecting whatever this is.

“We could all do something before? And you could get to know them.”

“And if you’re still not comfortable, we won’t push it anymore.” Will, ever the calming presence, adds.

“Fine,” you sigh, even though you aren’t really upset. Sure, you’re a little confused as to why Sydney suddenly thought it was a great idea for you to meet Will’s friends, but you could tell she had some sort of ulterior motive.

Before you call it quits around 10 PM, you spend the rest of your night idly chatting and tuning in and out of the awfully cheesy made-for-TV movie that Will seemed to love. And, as you snuggled up underneath your covers, trying not to wake Inez, you wonder why Syd was so insistent on changing your Christmas Eve plans.

Tags: @disabledameron @itspdameronthings @campingwiththecharmings @loonymagizoologist @stevenngrant @andromeda-dear @welcometostayingawake @outmodead

#santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #santiago garcia x you #santiago pope garcia #santiago pope garica x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #I’ll be back again to stay #tw: parenthood

[mandalhoerian]

life update!

#shai.txt #got shipped off to the e.r AGAIN today. it’s been like two weeks since my last trip? 😭 man. 💀 #shouldnt have eaten greasy food in eid hhrehhh my gallbladder peaced out #good news is im getting surgery finally! gonna get my bloodwork and xrays done tomorrow! doc said thursday but it could get postponed idk #so like. bit of a hiatus again🤡 i hope i’ll be able to come back soon without any problems. hope the surgery goes ok 😭 #love you guys stay safe!

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Changes keep happening and I’m Upset About It

#no more classes only exams left #cat went back to roommate’s house for the summer and I’ll never get to live with him again #even more furniture is gone #this house slowly gets emptier and emptier #I don’t like this #I want to go home but my parents have ALSO moved #I don’t have anywhere familiar to live #as much as I would like to I cannot live in my new roommate’s house rn #but golly gee I just need something to stay the same #please #screaming crying throwing up #blue chatter

[cybercanadian]

just got stood up by a Grindr date 🙃

#sigh #we hooked up before Christmas and it was good #he joked see you next year so I messaged him when I got back #we were supposed to meet up tonight he said he’d keep me posted and nothing #I checked in at 10pm and ——— #sad #but also…like not that big a deal I get it he told me he was going out with friends so they probably stayed out and whatever #but like at least let me know right #if he says sorry for not letting me know then I’ll be okay but if he doesn’t I probably won’t see him again 🙄 #am I dramatic? #and if you read through this you’re a real one love you

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

what if i dropped out of school and became the clown i was born to be

#u know half the time i’m like i was born for academics then half the time i’m like someone take me out back and put me down #bc the education system hurts me i am either loving it or seconds from crying or both perhaps i should leave it and test my luck #elsewhere #maybe i would just go and work at a bakery and bake bread at 4 in the morning maybe that would give me peace (it would not) #maybe i go to clown school and let my mind have a break #but i know i would regret it bc i’m the only child who is expected to succeed and that sounds bad but my mom’s kinda put all her #eggs in one basket and i’m the one that has to go to college and become something or else i’ll be just another disappointment that she #put more time into than i’m worth #but bad decisions run in the family anyway so she wouldn’t be surprised if i became a waste of potential lmao #or maybe i’ll stay in school and try to get medicated or smth i think maybe i would be able to last if they balanced by brain out #idk man i’m kinda having a little bit of a crisis again lmao

[floweroflaurelin]

After spending the last several weeks in and out of the hospital, I finished my first painting in over a month today! I think this is the longest I’ve gone without making a painting since I was in highschool. I’ll post it here at some point because I’m proud of it :)

My recovery isn’t going to be straightforward at all but I’m at a point where well over a dozen unpainted images have built up inside me and are scrambling to be let out, so I’ve decided that in November I will be back into the swing of making art regularly! I think it’ll really help me feel more like myself. You can expect to see me around way more very soon 😊💖

#I’m not at a point where I can make timely art of current events such as the crossover or the rentheking’s dethroning #but there will still be a lot of mcyt art! #I will also be posting to my art Instagram again @sabiralangevin so go follow if you like #the handle is the same as my Twitter and it’s linked in my blog description #but yeah!! I’m sick but if I completed one painting it stands to reason I can complete more #so stay tuned I’ll be back when November starts #not art