#I'M SO EMOTIONAL SOMEONE HOLD ME

[lesbianlotties]

Some that fall, don't land in bubbles - Chapter 13/13 Ronance - Mermaid (Bar) AU

Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler Characters: Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Joyce Byers, Chrissy Cunningham, Vickie (Stranger Things), Eleven | Jane Hopper, Maxine "Max" Mayfield Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, mermaid au, Transformation, Magic, Body Horror, but not too much! i think, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Depression, Blood, it gets better after chapter 3!, Healing, Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Trauma, Getting to Know Each Other, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, Hurt Robin Buckley, Lesbian Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler-centric, Song: Mermaid Bar (Maya Hawke), Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, all of them have suffered enough so they build a home at Sardine Dream Mermaid Bar, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

Sardine Dream™️ Mermaid Bar

Come for scallops, come to hear our song Come if you're in awful, bad trouble Come if you're certain you don't belong

Robin Buckley, heartbroken, hurt, alone, and kicked out of her home, took a decision that should've ended her life... and instead gave her a completely new and surprising life. In addition to a strange and sometimes dangerous body, Robin also gained a connection to others like her. She ended up on the path of Nancy Wheeler, who represented a promise of acceptance, love, and a community, everything at Sardine Dream™️ Mermaid Bar.

Chapter 13:

“I love you,” Nancy said without words, just sending the message directly to Robin’s heart. 

Robin replied by pulling Nancy into a kiss, which Nancy gladly reciprocated. After a few seconds, Robin stopped just long enough to whisper against Nancy’s lips, “Can you kiss me until I have to go onstage?”

When Nancy started kissing her again, there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

It wasn’t easy for Robin to think about anything else while kissing Nancy, but she couldn’t help but reminisce about the last couple of weeks.

#HAPPY (LAST) MERMAID MONDAY 😭😭❤❤ #I'M SO EMOTIONAL SOMEONE HOLD ME #ronance #stranger things #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #st #robin x nancy #nancy x robin #stranger things fanfiction #ronance fanfic #stranger things 4 #st4 #mermaid au #my fic

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway

[silverspleen]

Me: I am an adult, and have made excellent strides in processing my prior Issues.

My brain: BITCH U THOUGHT

#the dragoon diaries #like oooooogh I Really have a problem with people liking me romantically huh #like immediately back into the Bad Time #idk why I'm like this but I am #it's not trauma based? I have no trauma around relationships #I just want to have a platonic life partner or date two people already in a romantic relationship so there's no romantic feelings for me #or some sort of structured kink where it's deep feelings but also professional business #so I don't IMMEDIATELY PANIC like a wild ass animal and become crazy and catastrophically emotional #LEG CAUGHT IN TRAP #mfw u want a relationship but when presented with options your immediate desire is to bury yourself in a hole instead #I can pine all I want and hold hands and kiss my friends but God Forbid someone have a crush on me #I will be reasonable for Two Weeks and then it turns out there's still snakes in my brain #anyway I have to do a therapy about it I guess #(work has a free short term therapy program for these very issues!)

[brown-little-robin]

How am I supposed to continue on with my homework as if everything is normal..... as if the Hikaru no Go anime ending didn't make me cry actual tears

#the only thing holding my composure together at this point is that there's 7 more volumes of manga I haven't read #Hikaru no Goposting #I'M SO SAD. #SNIFF. SNORF #I gotta *sniff* I gotta *sniff* write a story based on Hikaru no Go that is. less sad to me personally #I..... WAUGH.......... #I know being sad is part of the point of the whole story but I didn't go into this expecting to have it put a hole through my chest !!!! #I just have to live with this??? forever??? #hole in me????? Sai shaped hole in me forever?????? #I just have to live with this ?????????? #someone come hug me!!!!! #my best friend Sai is dead!!!! . he's dead. #GUH. #Robin processes emotions on main

[bylertruther]

moodboard for when you lose the idgaf war. or something. again

#when i started this post there was no one online so like. can u guys turn around or smth -_- #anyway. feeling like a chump like a weenie like a marshmallow that's dissolving in someone's hot chocolate feeling very um . Feely #and tht isn't said in a self-deprecating way bc there's nothing wrong with being a sensitive person i'm jus. yk. saying tht it's not always #very fun. like i would very much rather feel like a toasty marshmallow being smushed in a delicious s'more rn but instead i'm trying to #express in the least vulnerable way possible tht i've felt a series of human emotions in quick succession tht make my heart beat funny #bc i think if i were to be any more open abt tht then i would likely disintegrate and i mean tht in the most normal I'm Okay way ever 👍 #and i jus think tht it Sucks tht u can be earnest n true n it won't matter bc if someone doesn't engage with u in good faith then there is #simply literally nothing that you can do but go ''Okay 👍'' #like. goes taut n keels over dead like a cartoon character. then reanimates bc i'm not done #that is just The Worst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wdym!!!!!! #it should be enough. it should be but it isn't and i'm a little marshmallow melting in someone's drink they're stirring me and #i'm turning into foam like . There Has Got To Be Another Way Out Other Than Through Bro someone grab my collar and drag me out #this bitch like a cat on a leash someone hold their hands out or smth i just . *)%*^76)*%$^)%*43^rty)*%6$)6578^$%(*8796gk@$)*%$ #it will be ok . it will 👍

[solarisgod]

Sense8's Senate cluster lore strikes once more having a big OSSDID moment ever

#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ STUDY . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ PLUARLITY . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH/PHOEBUS . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH/PHILOS . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH/PHOBOS . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ PHILOS/PHOBOS . › #[ this is soooooooo relatable for me with my few closest starmates as well ] #[ with our personal experiences : ] #[ we tend to get this feeling of squeezed / tensed sense of this heaviness - when someone co-fronts/cons ] #[ and commonly headaches and / or rarely dizziness can occur ] #[ but gradually over the time when building a close relationship ] #[ that heaviness becomes more than a weight to bear ; it becomes a presence that is right by you ] #[ I have a lot of moments when I'd sleep and while sleeping often reduces dissociative barriers ; ] #[ I usually can feel someone holding me ] #[ it's hard for me to explain / describe but with the starmates I'm closest to ] #[ the connection can often feel more physical than just mental ] #[ while it usually gets easier to exchange or experience another's emotions and thoughts ] #[ because the more you connect with your alters ; the more reduced dissociative barriers become that once prevents ] #[ you from reaching out to others and vice versa easily generally as a form of protection ] #[ again at least this is from our personal experiences but ] #[ aaaahhhhhh we love this so so so much ; I love this series so much truly ]

[sysig]

See you everywhere, now that you’re gone (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Dexter Favin #Ft. Wally West and Xigbar again - they're good to him <3 #Hhhh ;; The sads :'0 #ZEX never got to fully show off his uniform ;; #I was so hoping for that! He deserves to show off and feel nice and be praised </3 #At least he'd surrounded himself with good people - the dynamics around which are also interesting #Wally lovely <3 He's so sweet honestly just wants to offer a shoulder if he's able any small bit of comfort #He's injured and he's still trying to hug ZEX weh ;; Any bit of solace ♥ #Xigbar's way of cheering him up is his own kind of misplaced sweetness haha I love the care put into everyone's quirks <3 #Ugh the whole thing of Nobodies trying to (and failing to! To varying degrees) convince themselves that they don't have emotions #Clearly Xig is unbothered by this so it's better to just flirt and not worry about it! It's a shame but it happens to everyone #I see you Xigbar #Really tho him being a bit flippant and silly and tactile with ZEX did seem to help haha #''Let me comfort you'' pfft - sad silliness hehe #And then Dexter showed up!! I was so unprepared for that!! #Honestly I only expected him to come visit The One Time so I was so not ready for him to be here after All This #He made ZEX cry last time and this time he came to it already crying ;; #Ughhughgh ZEX's unshakable trust for DAX - even just his voice - being the breaking point of his self control I jfdlksahfds #Someone he can be weak in front of since he doesn't want to be seen by anyone that way - only to DAX ;;;; #Offering any bit of familiarity as comfort weh I'm fine this is fine ;; #Poor ZEX :( Being so powerless and helpless in this situation is so sad!! At least when he was in the War he was in control to an extent #He only touched his cheek with his uniform later that night which I do honestly love the imagery of soft and tender <3 #I like drawing people holding things fully to their face more than I remembered haha #And then the fact that his roommate changed the same night and it was /Kirk/ of all people fjdslahfdsfd wehhhhh 😭 #Kirk is genuinely the sweetest to him he is absolutely best boy but to have a Captain after all that ;;;; #It cuts so deeply ironic oww <3 <3

[yardsards]

there's been a big push to normalize cuddling as something that can be purely platonic and 100% nonsexual

and i wholeheartedly agree with that! it is so so important for people to be able to express affection like that towards their friends and family. and for people to be able to satisfy their need for physical touch outside of the constructs of a romantic partnership. and for society to stop assuming so much stuff is inherently romantic/sexual in general

but may i also suggest adding more playful forms of touch (like playfighting/light roughhousing or tickling and whatnot) to that list. like, outside of young children or, occasionally, cishet frat boys for some reason, that kind of thing is considered flirtatious or even just downright sexual. when like, it can very much be a form of familial/friendly affection and a way to just have lighthearted fun together

#eliot posts #maybe i'm just weird tho #but like. honestly i feel like a good bout of playfighting would honestly fulfill my emotional needs more than normal snuggling #i'm just not a very cuddly person‚ y'know? #but i'm more playful and still have a bit of ''rambunctious farm kid/youngest sibling'' inside me that i never outgrew #most of my friends are long distance #and my irl friends are either like. not good enough friends for me to feel comfortable with that kind of touching #or are just not into roughhousing and whatnot #so i stick to gentle shoulder punches *at the most* #but i would absolutely do more if given the chance #im sorry but my seeing someone as found family ABSOLUTELY includes the desire for sibling-style noogies #but i hold back of course bc you absolutely should not do that unless ur loved one is comfortable with that sort of thing

[moregraceful]

kinda eating drywall abt the karlsson trade but it is what it is

i consider it a win in that i didn't lose nick cicek in the trade honestly, which probably says intensely worrisome things about my priorities in the sharks org AND my perception of nick cicek's trade value but. yeah no we got fleeced not only by pittsburgh's most eligible president of hockey ops slash gm AND kent hughes, which is an ego blow on unforeseen and sloppy levels. like my mom could sell me to kyle dubas and i'd be like fine, whatever, but mike grier is a whole ass nhl gm. he should have protective charms in place against that man so i gotta ask. i gotta ask. mikey you good. you good babe??? you need some electrolytes???

congrats to sid crosby for adding another boytoy to his dman harem tho. personally cannot wait to see what happens when karly (mean cat), tanger (evil cat), and gravy (anxious greyhound) get in the same locker room. the sparks...they're flyin

#or gravy ends up in wilkes-barre. i'll kill you gmkd don't test me #back for a hot second to check one (1) thing for a challenge but i could not resist explaining my passions (gay defensemen) #maybe there's a god above...all i ever learned from love...was how to write ryan graves in various situations getting stressed out #have i ever written ryan graves smut? i can't remember. huge L if i haven't. someone inform me if i have. i don't remember at all #this tumblr break is going great. i started and finished a fic for time begins that needs psychological spiritual and emotional help #''you know what this baseball fic needs? a trans grandmother who is witch-coded'' boy no it doesn't!!!!! #if i were smart i'd lean into urban fantasy and just go nuts. blake sabol the magic is within YOU #alas the grandmother is simply from sonoma (at first she was from bolinas and then i was like i CANNOT validate those maniacs) #still packing but i'm so stressed bc i have one episode of tunnel talk left and i'm like what do i do if i run out of episodes untll sat #my sister told me to listen to the audiobook of gideon the ninth and i'm like dude i don't know if i'm smart enough for that #i bring a real ''checking books out on libby and not listening or reading to them'' that libraries paying for ebooks and eaudiobooks #per use on a proprietary license do not enjoy #so i'm holding off on gideon for now. i checked out the night tiger while i wait for time war to come round again we'll see if i listen #what am i talking about. i rediscovered spotify's tropical house playlist and that's all i fucken listen to now #on some secret level i am on a sunny beach far away from here getting [redacted] by [redacted] while [redacted] #it's so interesting how it took me a half hour to respond to this and yet i gave anon none of the commiseration they wanted or needed #cage replies #anon

[koishikei]

yoooooo i'm gonna have another mental breakdown~

#kei goes off #something something..emotional regulation or lack thereof #forced into a sort of flat affect in order to mask and not inconvenience anybody #but because i live with 3 other people that's literally 24/7 of masking #because when anyone else shows any semblance of negative emotion around me i get super uncomfortable and even triggered #so why would i knowingly do that to someone else by having my own emotions? #so i hold everything in for days and days at a time until i fucking explode #i've been extra crazy today anyway because i'm so exhausted from yesterday and my nerves are all shot so i'm in widespread pain #i rly should be laying in bed but i can't lay in my office (threat of being disturbed putting me on high alert) #and i can't lay down in the bedroom because i'm guaranteed to be disturbed and also sensory overload with no escape

[tvrningout]

the way i teared up instantly and chiyo wailed from the backseat of my mind

#and nari staring from the front seat like are y'all okay--- #absolutely not ;;;;;;; #tw for mental illness talk! #the rain metaphor is what got me and the lil side hug i'm just!!! AHHH like it's casual but sincere and i'm so soft #and the distinction between being the one who holds an umbrella and someone who stands in the rain too #like don't just shield chiyo from the rain but be there in it with her and help her through it ;;;;; #granted this is talking about depression? and i wouldn't say chiyo is depressed? i think?? she just struggles internally a ton #there's a lot she keeps in and deems too much to let others see #and there are days that are bad for her #i dunno it's just a metaphor than can definitely apply with her situation and i'm emotional thinking about it #i don't think i'm explaining myself very well though asdfg #get ready to ramble | ooc

[scottdixon]

liv morgan & aj styles vs judgment day monday night raw | 05/23/22

#wwe edit #liv morgan #aj styles #judgment day #rhea ripley #damian priest #well this has dealt me irreparable emotional damage #i love this storyline so much #edge gets such sick pleasure out of tormenting liv as it is but holding aj down and yelling for him to watch rhea hit her with the riptide? #aj hopelessly reaching out for liv????? #ntm liv desperately trying anything to protect aj all through the match and edge allowing her to crawl to him so she could suffer for it #i'm absolutely foaming at the mouth someone come talk to me about this #wwe edge

[robinsnest2111]

augh the absolute need to be held and pet and showered with love and gentle praise is so STRONG tonight 😭

#just 3 hours ago i thought about how far i've come with being able to accept praise about me and my work etc. #just a couple years ago i physically recoiled and felt some dreadful emotion whenever someone praised me #because it felt so foreign and wrong. like i was deceiving them. because nothing about me could ever be worthy of praise!!!! #but just a couple days ago my nervous energy manager who's very quick to reprimand praised some of my qualities #and it didn't make me physically cringe/recoil like it would have in the past #and idk. just. thinking.about the possibility of letting myself be praised. recognising there are qualities about me being worthy of it #what a mindfuck. and now i'm thinking about it. #some praise. some tenderness. some softness. for me. i'm allowed to have that. it's okay for me to want that #the pain of not really getting it regularly. no hugs no cuddles no kissies no 'well done's.......... augh #i've not known softness for years and once I've had a glimpse and allowed myself to enjoy it... now the CRAVING is torturing me #because i don't get this anymore. the situation i live in doesn't allow for any of it in necessary amounts #i'm so starved for affection and positive attention it's sickening. idk how i've survived for this long honestly #holding out for a brighter future surrounded by more open kindness and softness and affection...

[andthebeanstalk]

I... have deep-fried... my nervous system. I have overdone it today and thus I have done myself a hurt. I am a small zombie of a man. And also I am not a man. I am very very cute and also braincell supplies are running alarmingly low. I have many unread messages. I have autism. I have 6,000 thoughts on Arnold Judas Rimmer and his Longterm Hetero Roommate-ship with Dave Lister.

I am 7/8ths of the way to completely comatose and what remains of my brain is still like "do not worry my dude i will continue to produce images of the old space men kissing.

"I know it feels like the flu wrapped a lemon around a sledgehammer and then artfully rearranged your skull with it but so long as there is a single ounce of life left in this body then by God there will be gay thoughts about chicken soup machine repair man David Lister."

and what I'm saying is I don't understand how the emergency power reserve system ended up this way but I think it is also keeping me sane in Deep Space

#red dwarf #rimster #original #oof ow my bones #[lister voice] smegging ptsd yeah? #chronic pain #fibromyalgia #or whatever the fuck #i joke but this is actually a vital emergency system #if the tism has something to hold onto it suffuses me with a steady will to live. #i have several things in my life that give me that thankfully but the point remains #the autistic hyperfocus was the worst thing to lose when i was sick and the most precious thing I've ever gotten back #there was a time when i was afraid it wouldn't grow back. but as i healed it started to #grow back that is. different. eventually stronger even. #so at least if i feel like a wet paper towel post hurricane i have these little tethers to joy #what I'm saying is i need to think about evil fishnets Rimmer as a mental health concern. #sir that is my emotional support problematic sci fi show #urgh i am too ouch to sleep to tired to awake someone put me in stasisssss

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to #place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like #LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee #so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of #people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take #a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM) #the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore #ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team #but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up #graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made #my adhd brain go WELL SHIT #ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do #love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving #people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt #but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel #amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou #life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i #just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive #but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present #and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now #on a positive note... #my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made #a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little #im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor #i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it #but damn it im tired #thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave #if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you #please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you

[silverselfshippingchaos]

the way I am so.. so so so down bad for this man..

#once again. havent played x.b3 yet. but holy shit he rots my thoughts nonstop #have i already developed two fankids? perhaps #am i thinking about kissing him 24/7? perhaps #he's just so charming!! #i dont have as much to say as usual aksjaks my bad! been out all day and am kinda tired #and you know when like. you spend too much time with your family and you get a little too existential? yeah #but it's also late and wow i'm sleepy #and uh.. speaking of sleepy... this guy has been known to be a pretty sleepy guy- #if he wants someone to hold and cuddle all night... ahem ahem- hi my name's ash and- #he's so fine i am going bonkers #ash rambles 💚 #his hair is so nice aksjaksj i think about playing with it more than i should hehe #hm other than him #i've been really in my emotions about the f.f15 bros as of late 😭 g.ladio my love #and i.gnis p.rompto n.octis my best friends ever! family <3 #i'm getting sleepy aksjqjejw i love my f/os so much! #also... hear me out... m.alos von x.enoblade.... older brother material #anyways ur f/os love you and goodnight and all that! #OH ALSO back to my first point. the fankids. these two are twins ✨️ those little troublemakers (affectionate) and m.atthew always #make ash laugh so much aksjaksj #also! since i'm in bed at the moment and my a.qua plush is in my arms!! just saying that i love my wife so much #okay. now goodnight! again!