#IM NOT THE GIRL I OUGHT TO BE

[mercifulsouls]

listening to mitski in a transgender way

#i dont blame you if you want to #bury me in your memory #im not the girl i ought to be

[silveme]

Monk in his bedroom listening to Mitski after a tense investigation where he had to touch a rusty door handle

#“im not the girl I ought to be” so true…. #adrian monk #monk

[loveydovey-leviathan]

what was your favourite moment in the kotlc series?

#kotlc #mine was when sandor felt like he was inadequate and couldn't protect sophie the way she ought to be protected #but by that point whenever sophie looks over her shoulder she expects sandor to be there #so she begs him to stay and insists that she doesn't want anybody else #THAT SCENE GOT ME IN MY FEEELLLLSSS #there are a lot of criticisms to be made about kotlc regarding the plot and the character arcs #and im sure people will argue that this “didnt have an impact in the story” #i loved it sorry #no matter how much shit people talk ill love this forever and ever #exile was my favourite book cuz thats when shit really starts to hit the fan for sophie #poor girl #sophie foster #sandor

[raggedy-dxctor]

drop the link to that fitpac edit rn.....

AS U WISH ANON

#qsmp #fitpac #genuinely i watch it DAILY #ignore if it shows my tiktok account ; im too lazy to figure out how to share it without it doing that #him in 2b coming up at 'im not the girl i ought to be' makes me SICK /pos

[lastparty]

#i dont blame you if you want to bury me in your memory im not the girl i ought to be but maybe when you tell your friends you #can tell them what you saw in me! and not how i turned out to be! #Spotify

[trobeds]

hiiiivy top 5 mitski songs for you?

omg hiiiiyvie ok so my favorites change a lot but currently theyre

goodbye my danish sweetheart. THE CHORUS OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS THE SONG EVER I LOVE IT SO MUCH

townie. learned this on guitar 10/10 its so sooo adjskf and dslkgjklf also AND I WANT A LOVE THAT FALLS AS FAST AS A BODY FROM THE BALCONY??? I WANT A KISS LIKE MY HEART IS HITTING THE GROUND??????? ITS SUCH A STUCK IN YOUR HEAD IN THE BEST WAY KIND OF SONG

last words of a shooting star. oh im so fucking feral during the "did you know the liberty bell is a replica" bit

i will. i dont even need to explain im jusT SO ILL OKAY ITSS SUCH A BEAUTIFL< SOMGN NDI(KJM FGRSJK the entirety of bury me at makeout creek though >>>>>>>>>> its fr the best album

my bodys made of crushed little stars. screaming clawing at the walls of my enclosure losing my mind

ty for the ask!!! <3 i will never pass up an opportunity to talk about mitski shes sooo. she fr invented music

#my mailbox 💌 #moots 💓 #nnilkyway <3 #AND I DONT BLAME YOU IF YOU WANT TO BURY ME IN YOUR MEMORY IM NOT THE GIRL I OUGHT TO BE #stabbing stabbing stabbing #mitski

[illcryatyou28]

Goodbye my Danish sweetheart is such a Regulus song

#especially these lyrics: #theres some kind of burning inside me #its kept me from falling apart #and im sure youve seen what its done to my heart #but its kept me from falling apart #its so him. im crying. #goodbye my danish sweetheart #jegulus #regulus black #mitski #also: so i dont blame you if you want to bury me in your memory im not the girl i ought to be #is very trans regulus #trans regulus black

[someoldfires]

my tomshiv x mitski thesis is as follows: shiv about tom is Goodbye my danish sweetheart, tom about shiv is I want you, and they are both Me and my husband about each other

#tomshiv #succession #shiv is actually in love with tom but cant handle it about herself truther. #exhibit a bitey. exhibit b her trying to repair them somehow in the last ep after the balcony fight #i dont like you (lying) i dont care (extreme lying) #her actual true emotions if she could express them would basically be #THERES NOBODY BETTER THAN YOU IT TOOK ME A WHILE TILL I KNEW BUT YOU KNEW FROM THE START IT WAS US DIDNT YOU #SO I DONT BLAME YOU IF YOU WANT TO BURY ME IN YOUR MEMORY IM NOT THE GIRL I OUGHT TO BE #verbatim #as for tom: #’i want you / i hold one card / that i cant use / but i want you’ #and ’i found you / i found the door / but when i stepped through / there was no floor’ regarding the cheating #being revealed on their wedding night #and as for me and my husband. i love that song i do try to fit it into every unhealthy relationship dynamic im obsessed with #but i think it works so well for both of them i think they both feel overlooked and irrelevant #shiv because of her gender within her family and tom because he is an outsider in the family and bc of his class #and they found some kind of ally in each other and they both stepped all over each other trying to get to the top #trying to be logans favorite #but in some way they both felt seen by the other one #when he walks in i am loved i am loved #also the inescapability of it all the divorce that never seems to take hold #’so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together’ #god

[britneyshakespeare]

I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A SPECIALIST IN TWO DAYS!!!!!!

#tales from diana #it took almost a month of calls after getting a referral but thank god once they finally got back to me it could be this quick #that's just one specialist i need to see. i still need to get in with an endocrinologist #but baby steps #(this is the one im more nervous about bc it's gonna involve a lot of my medical history) #(this hashimoto's shit is new to me whereas ive had lyme for 15 years) #(well both of these make me nervous but still) #hopefully ya girl is treated like a human being ought to be by this new guy #idk im scared but. my pcp said he's nice and i really like my new pcp #why couldn't they have gotten me to an endo sooner than the winter solstice. why #idk im not gonna dwell on it i have other options i just need to get over my anxiety and fucking call them #screams #TWO DAYS!!!! TWO DAYS AND HOPEFULLY SOMETHING WILL BE DONE #I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO FUNCTION AT ALL IN MONTHS

[parrishands]

listening to mitski is not enough i need to swallow all of her lyrics i need to snort it all of her songs i need to inject all of that instrumental in my veins i need to break open my ribcage and PUT MY PHONE THERE WHILE HER ALBUNS PLAY ON LOOPING

#mitski #music #like crack baby YOU dont know what you want but YOU KNOW that you had it once and YOU KNOW that you want it back?????????? #IM NOT THE GIRL I OUGHT TO BE BUT MAYBE WHEN YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN TELL THEM WHAT U SAW IN ME AND NOT HOW I TURNED OUT TO BE??????? #YOU'RE growing tired of me YOU love me so hard N I STILL cant sleep YOU'RE growing tired of me n all of the things I dont talk about #SORRY I DONT WANT YOUR TOUCH?????? ITS NOT THAT I DONT WANT YOU????? #AND REAL MEN DOT EAT CAUSE THEY'RE ABOVE THAT DAMN IT OH IM GONNA BE A REAL MAN???????? #i cry at start of every movie i guess cause i wish i was making things too BUT IM WORKING FOR THE KNIFE #insanity

[aliceyabusamesoneball]

goodbye my danish sweetheart is so mecore

#im sorry this sounds exyremely concerning #piper silly thoughts #im not the girl i ought to be ...

[romulanfucker]

its late and everyones asleep so im just gonna say. like everything about kira is so good in theory and i should like her so much and i Do think shes fantastic when im just thinking about her and spinning her around in my mindcrowave. but then the secon i actually watch her in the show its just so obvious that the people writing and designing her were huge misogynists and no matter how many “girly” tropes they try to avoid they pick up another to replace it and its so obnoxious

#like i cant quite put my finger on why i dont care about her as much as i feel like i ought to #but its just like. shes supposed to be rough and angry and volatile and shes always perfectly groomed w eyeliner and uniform that hugs her #waist and its like. god if shes gonna be a messy woman let her be a Messy Woman #its not just that theres a lot more #also the way they keep making her fall for older men who get killed for her woman pain and her failed romances always end up overshadowing #the pain of having lived thru a genocide in the writing like. shes only the ex rebel girl when she has nothing better to do. #when they can give her a regular girl misogynist sci fi trope that always takes precedence #im blaming it all on rick berman. fuck that guy

[misterradio]

i. just remembered i really went through page by page of the works script and screenshot every page and uploaded it to a text converter and then put that in a text document and edited the typos and spacing. what

#i just remembered this today. i did that over the course of like. a month or less. huh #and now u can read it in text form online on my website. but im not sure if anyone has really used my site for that. #im not sure if anyone has used my site PERIOD! well it has 6 000 views so thats pretty epic. feel like it had 5 000 last i checked. #original nonsense #personal #worksposting #i ought to go thru that website and edit the visuals a bit.. #i wonder if anyone on the lost media wiki would be interested in knowing i made a site for it. #< girl help i just looked at the lmw and now i seriously want to reply to a comment there but i dont want to make an account. #<- edit august 30 2023. account made and reply commented.

[soldier-poet-king]

How dare the Sunday scaries encroach on Saturday YET AGAIN

#i know i know i start a new job on monday and the commute is gonna kill me #and i a delayed sleep phase haver am going to have to be up and out of the house by 6.30am everyday #BUT LIKE. LIKE. IM AFEARED #and idk what to do. i finished the sparrow and i cant read anything else rn im just bored with everything #and i cant handle another heavy book rn #video games are like. well i could continue elden ring but im lowkey annoyed with it rn #and i ought not to start a new game right before new job #and tv is?? hm #maybe watch some of the new derry girls #or more cr #i try to avoid cr after sunset bc embroidery at night is hard on the eyes #whine whine whine #i know its all dumb priviledged problems #but the brain she scream #and im lonely and also annoyed with my family #and having some Body Bad bc clothes #i could clean. reorganize smthn. idk. im itchy in a psychological way

[mayoiayasep]

goodbye my danish sweetheart is an arashi song too btw

#'i dont blame you if you want to bury me in your memory im not the girl i ought to be' and 'no matter how hard i try i cant never become- #-the beautiful woman i want to be' yeah. y e a h #arashi narukami #enstars #ensemble stars #wowwww knights is really just a bunch of mitski listeners i'll find songs for leo and kasakun in a second

[quietwingsinthesky]

I think the nature of Clara haterism on Tumblr can’t be fully understood without the historical context of 2013. Namely that by the time of DW season 7b Moffat was widely hailed as The Bogeyman Of All Misogyny Ever. Clara was considered THE prototypical Shallow Moffat Girl, and she became a sort of figurehead for everything wrong with the show. (Bc everyone was maybe 14 and Smith was too beloved to insult.) Consequently, she evokes a kneejerk bad faith reading response in many users even today.

yeah, alright, i can see that. i am surprised that, at least as far as i’ve seen, amy & river don’t get the same treatment? or if they did, it hasn’t persisted half as long as opinions on clara have. Because having now seen how all three of them were written, amy got treated. so much worse with The Misogyny™️, and River bounces between ‘actually a fascinating character’ and ‘moffat wrote a sexy girlboss who wants to fuck the doctor’ so hard it gives me whiplash. (and i say this as a River enjoyer, I love her and she deserves so much better lmao.)

Of the three of them, I think Clara actually comes out a lot better written overall? She’s allowed more space to be a character rather than be a woman, if that makes sense. Sure, bit of a rocky start in s7, and I can certainly see why the Impossible Girl thing could be aggravating to some people. (I think it was. Fine. fantastic episode conceptually that sort of fell apart when it came to actually doing anything.) but Clara in s8 (and the start of s9) is fantastic. Her relationship with Danny and the Doctor is messy and deceptive and so understandable. “Listen” as an episode almost felt like ‘hey what if the clara putting herself in the doctor’s past was actually interesting and impacted him’. Her becoming more like the Doctor, especially after losing Danny, both as an effort to hold on tight to the only person she perceives as keeping her moving forward and giving her a purpose AND because to her, the Doctor is able to lose so much and not be destroyed by it and she wants that (without really understanding just how much this life is fucking him up, too.), is just. fantastic.

where was i going with this. i have no idea. my point, i think, is: i guess i can see how initial reactions to clara might color a less than flattering picture of the rest of her, but :( consider: i love her so so much and everyone should be niceys to her.

#i was sort of neutral on clara for most of s7 i think #she had great moments but i think a lot of what was holding her back was the same thing holding most of eleven’s seasons back as a whole #which to me was. what the fuck are they doing with that guy. does anyone know. did anyone have a thesis in mind for this man. #which makes it hard to build a companion around him as a foil because what are you foiling. #amy & rory didn’t have this problem as much because they were a set do not separate and thus could play off each other as well #(river. is another story.) #and because 11’s relationship with the ponds was maybe the one thing the show kept on track the whole time and understood what it was doing #with them. clara’s is. a lot messier. it’s both building to a twist with the impossible girl thing that’s. a bit lackluster. #and then 11 without the ponds is. kind of a mess. like. character-wise. even more so than before. as far as i perceived it anyway. #but 12 does not have that problem! 12 starts off with a bang knowing exactly where he’s going as the doctor and what question he’s answering #about himself. and that gives clara so much more room to grow herself as she patterns herself after him both to feel important and to escape #the horrifyingly mundane trauma of her boyfriend. dying. in a normal way. that was also her own fault. (not really but i believe she thinks #it is.) #you know. if s8 12 is asking ���is the doctor a good man?’ and answering ‘no. he’s just a man. he’s just there and he makes the decisions #and he doesn’t even know if they’re the right ones.’ #then s8-s9 clara is responding with ‘well. if the doctor isn’t a hero. then what happens when someone tries to emulate him that sees him as #one. or worse: as someone who ought to be one.’ #and the answer seems to be ‘bad idea. very very bad idea. this is fucking her up so bad and she doesn’t even realize it.’ #granted im not at the end of this plotline but so far: ITS GOOD!!!! clara is great!!!! #anyway. thats my clara thoughts. actually i have more about ehy the moon abortion episode (bad) was ooc for the doctor but! very good #character moment for clara in reacting to what he put her through and how that’s foundational to how she’s rebuilding herself in his image. #but ill leave off here. #clara oswald #dw lb #ask