#Jazz does but she respects secret identities and isn’t saying shit

[spacedace]

It’s been a busy day for Elle by the time she rounds the corner and sees the unattended Batmobile parked in the alley she usually cuts through to go home. But not so busy that she’s willing to ignore the prime opportunity that she’s just stumbled upon.

Bats in the Bowery is always something that gets people’s heckles up - this is Hood’s turf and the people that live there are just as territorial over that as their violent vigilante. Batman himself being in the Bowery might as well be a declaration of war. Sure, when the heavy hitters are out causing shit things are a bit more flexible, but even then the Bats are there with Red Hood. Obviously and clearly tolerated for the time being.

Elle would put good money on Hood not being in the loop that the big Bat himself is currently parked three blocks away from Crime Alley. Which means that the Batmobile, tucked away in the shadows and entirely unattended, is free game.

Fuck it, she decides. 

Jay had asked her and Danny about what kind of rings Jazz likes. He’s on all their emergency contact lists, and he’s offered to officially adopt her and Danny to lighten Jazz’s load a little. He’s put in the time to figure out how to incorporate ectoplasm into his amazing home cooked meals in such a way that it doesn’t cause the food to come back to life just so they can have something tasty and nutritious. 

He’s family.

Which means it’s only right that she honors his place as family, by following in his footsteps.

Even without any of the proper equipment for the job, it’s a lot easier for her to remove the tires than it had been for her soon-to-be brother-in-law all those years ago. All it takes is five minutes, some intangibility and some increased strength and she has a pile of tires wider than her body stacked up behind her. She doesn’t even get any grease on her in the process. It takes more effort to find a pencil in her blackhole of a backpack to write the note she leaves behind tucked under one of the windshield wipers.

Getting the tires home is another story but she eventually manages to scrounge up enough blob ghosts to help her haul them back with her unseen. The little dudes like a little mischief - and like Hood even more - and they need the exercise. She’s not sure exactly what she’s going to do with the tires when she gets home though. One is definitely going to Jay as a present, maybe she could get Skulker to help her mount it on a plaque like one of his hunting trophies? Other than that though, they’re largely just going to take up space in the apartment.

Bill would probably know a guy. Hell, Bill may even want in on the trophy idea as a gift for Hood, he’d been saying that the anniversary of the crime lord taking out Black Mask was coming up. Maybe she could get the goon to help her get the last two tires to a couple of the more fun rogues as gifts? Harley for sure would get a laugh out of it. Ivy would probably be upset over the ecological impact of the creation of the tire, but maybe she could sell the last one to Penguin?

-

Tim blinks at the stack of - very familiar - tires taking up the corner of the Nightingales’ living room. Elle has them arranged in an approximation of a throne with a couple of pillows set down so she can sit more comfortably as she lounges. She barely even glances up at them as Danny leads them inside, slurping at a bright green smoothie as she taps away on her phone.

Danny looks as thrown by the tableau as Tim is. It’s nice to see that Danny isn’t as totally immune to Elle’s shenanigans as he pretends. Though, it’s also mildly terrifying to consider his boyfriend’s little sister is capable of chaos that not even Danny “Danger Twink” Nightingale can come up with.

“Uh…what you got there, Elle?”

Elle, pointedly, takes a long, loud slurp from her smooth as she looks up to meet her brother’s gaze. “New family tradition.” She says, unblinking.

Danny stands there for a long moment before giving a final shrug. “Yeah, sure. Jay will get a kick out of it.”

Tim pulls his phone out and snaps some pictures. Danny is right, of course, Jason is going to love it. But so will everyone else in the group chat.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #batman #jazz fenton #danny fenton #danielle fenton #danielle phantom #dani phantom #tim drake #jason todd #anger management #dp x dc anger management #anger management ship #brain dead #dead tired #bill the professional goon #Elle stealing the batmobile's tires as a way to welcome Jason into the family and create a new family tradition lives in my brain rent free #she doesn’t know Jason is Red Hood in this #Jazz does but she respects secret identities and isn’t saying shit #Jason had been blowing up the family group chat over someone stealing ALL FOUR of the batmobile's tires #there were a lot of pictures of Batman looking tired and So Done (TM) standing next to the tireless batmobile #Jay will for sure be boasting about Elle when he finds out it was her #the comments about him pulling a Bruce and adopting the kid that stole the tires will never end and he can't even fight them because #he *did* legally adopt her #oh well totally worth it

[athicfa]

Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #4 Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #5 Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #155 Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #156 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #329 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #330 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #331 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #335 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #337 Marvel Comics Presents Vol 1 #57 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #341 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #342 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #343 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #346 Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #347

Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #4

Apparently, at least from reviews and comments I’ve seen online, Moon Knight fans generally hate this run so my expectations are low. I’m only here for Felicia anyway.

this issue exists solely so Felicia Hardy can serve us this look

Marc Spector: Moon Knight Vol 1 #5

yeah that was awful

Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #155

Did they drop the “Peter Parker” tag from the title of this series? Looks like it.

I thought they ended the gang war several issues back? k then

Fe’s just a cameo and the rest of this issue is just Weird

Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 #156

oh no have we entered demented redneck territory? dude I’m from Arkansas and this is one of my least favorite tropes EVER. The only acceptable version of the demented redneck trope is in RE7.

primitive existence??? because they live in log cabins and play the banjo??? man fuck you, writers, from the bottom of my primitive southern heart

dude they forgot her sleeve

“I know you Gov’ment men and yORE lies” yeah nvm that’s pretty accurate

If you want to know how to NOT write a southern accent, read this issue. It’s insulting. This isn’t even the south it’s PENNSYLVANIA WHAT ARE THEY DOING

This is bad ED rep too. As if they couldn’t make it worse.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #329

Tri-Sentinel? Oh this sounds like a bad idea.

MJ doing Queen shit as usual. Prepping for her “Secret Hospital” role. We stan.

AH so we’re in the West Coast Avengers era? Neat.

LOKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why do they write Loki with a cockney accent?

Captain Universe? WHAT IN THE HELL

And here she is, showing up at the end of the issue for a cliffhanger with Flash. Because they really have to make her as vindictive and hateable as they can.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #330

we start with the Punisher blowing up an ambulance with a rocket launcher so everything is guaranteed to go downhill from this point

Felicia shows up to dinner with Flash and Peter’s going feral but can’t explain to anyone WHY he’s going feral because secret identity and all that jazz

OH MY GOD THAT’S HOW THEY KILL OFF EDDIE? OR AM I BEING SCAMMED WITH A FAKE DEATH AGAIN??? WHAT???????

I love you Aunt May

they break the fourth wall a lot in this and it’s always them going “haha that’s what YOU think Peter but we’re obviously going to make everything worse for you and you should know better you cheeky bastard”

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #331

this is FUCKING AWFUL and I hate it so much

Felicia would NEVER put her hands on MJ like that. This is bullshit. Even if they’re trying to play her as a jealous ex, this is just STUPID. I hate everything about this story so much I’m about to have a fucking aneurysm istg.

oh so I was right Eddie’s fine he just faked his death

now some old lady just randomly slaps MJ WHAT??? second time she’s been physically assaulted in the same issue, and the third time in the past four issues I’ve read. WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they just really hate women I guess

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #335

this is from #332 and I’m not talking about it bc It’s not relevant to Felicia but I just wanna say that this page was pretty cool

Hobgoblin looks genuinely freaky now

Aunt May is precious and needs to be protected at all costs

Flash’s outfit is a fucking crime

mmm Sinister Six is reforming and I couldn’t care less. that was anticlimactic.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #337

oh no Nathan’s dead. Poor May.

once again Fe’s serving LOOKS while Flash is dressed like the embodiment of glitter in the 80′s

him standing up for her is nice and all but Felicia would have already been throwing hands and handing out free kick vasectomies

Marvel Comics Presents Vol 1 #57

she broke into Versaille and is sleeping in the king’s bedchamber which, y’know, is actually pretty in character so I’m not complaining

Fisk is after her. Again.

that’s it. cute little story. now back to the main event.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #341

aaaaaand they’re taking Peter’s powers away because they obviously hate him

Felicia looks good. Flash is a neon mess. As always. Guys she would never date a guy that dresses like this I’m sorry but it’s true

MAY YOU SLY DOG I SEE YOU FLIRTING

Felicia being genuinely nice and friendly to MJ, as they should have had it from the start.

Flash is being really sweet and all but dude I still just can’t see it happening between them. He’s too much of a “jock”, to put it as nicely as I can. I know they’re trying to make it turn into a genuine relationship between the two of them but it just. This does not work.

Peter (as Spidey) is in trouble without his powers so Flash and Felicia rush in to help him and MJ is worried about all of them, even Felicia, which was a sweet moment.

“I can’t break your heart if you’re dead” sure Felicia not like you actually just don’t want Peter to die or anything

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #342

they’ve promised me Felicia protecting Peter from the Scorpion this issue and they better give it to me or I might cry

Peter having to cope with not having his powers anymore is genuinely interesting but it’s hard to trust that they’ll do right by him based on how they ALWAYS do shit just to hurt him. And also having it be his choice is just??? Dude I doubt it. That doesn’t feel like a Peter Parker move AT ALL.

they keep having Felicia randomly refer to the Black Cat from a third person perspective and I hate it

she knows something’s wrong and she gets him to fess up to it

“Flash is a good guy and I wouldn’t never hurt him just to get back at you” REALLY MARVEL WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY AT, I DUNNO, THE BEGINNING OF THE ARC???

next day. Scorpion nabs Jameson. Felicia brings Peter’s Spidey suit to him, even though he’s powerless now. Nice that she still has faith in him but this is objectively a very bad decision from both of them.

Fe protecting Peter from Scorpion like they promised me??? FUCK YES

they’re letting her have a lot of nice moments in this fight I’m shocked they’re FINALLY showing her an ounce of respect

she kicked the shit out of Scorpion I LOVE it

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #343

Actually love the dynamic reversal right now. It’s like when Felicia had no powers, except it’s Peter in her shoes now. Still hate how we got here but at least I can enjoy it reading again. For the most part.

AH THERE’S THE FAMOUS PHYSICS-DEFYING PURPLE DRESS

no but seriously she went to borrow jeans from MJ and came back with THIS

more badass Felicia moments so I have been placated. For now.

Why did they draw her with claw feet in one panel though when she’s supposed to have normal boots on lmfaoooo

he fiddles with Dr. Turner’s device and gets his powers back right as Felicia’s getting overwhelmed.

“At least they didn’t break my nose” followed by a cute little cheek rub, as she DESERVES

oof she’s in bad shape

the machine took her powers away somehow so...okay

so she’s gonna quit being the Black Cat? BULLSHIT. She was the Black Cat before she had powers. It’s something she’s NEVER gonna be able to give up, just like Peter can’t quit being Spiderman.

At least Felicia, Peter, and MJ are all on good terms now which is more than I expected from this awful arc.

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #346

VENOM

she wants to come help Peter so I guess she’s NOT giving up the Black Cat completely like they said? Which...okay. But he won’t let her come help anyway because he knows she’ll get trashed by Venom.

Venom feels like a real threat which is great because most of the villain set-ups leading up to this have been lame af

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 #347

UH

Venom in the background of this is hella creepy

Felicia and Flash are fighting bc she’s worried sick about Peter and pissed she can’t do anything, so she’s lashing out and refusing to go to some stupid concert with him. And then immediately changes her mind because what is consistency in a character am I right, Marvel?

May and Willie are cute

He had to fake his death to get Venom off his back and you know...I think I kind of like it. It was an unusual finish to a story but it does a good job at painting Venom as an unstoppable force, which will make his eventual defeat way more rewarding than most of the one-and-done villains that show up, get their asses kicked, and then disappear for thirty issues.

#long post tw #[comic commentary] #may or may not read more tonight we'll see

[words-writ-in-starlight]

I'm a little late to the party but for the ask meme: Danny Phantom 5, 13, 14, 18, 20 + Trans!Danny headcanons. I know that wasn't on the list but I have a feeling you'll do it for me anyway ;)

MY NEWEST BOY.  For this ask meme!  Also thisgot long so I made a separate post about trans Danny because I care about it alot byeeeeee.

5)  Guilty pleasures

Barring times where he’s being, A, imprisoned, or, B, hunted forfun and profit, Danny actually—really likes the Ghost Zone.  It’s soothing in a way that he’s pretty sureis not quite right, in a way that Sam and Tucker and Jazz do not seem toagree with, but he likes it there.  Theslow, billowing curls of green drift through the air like nebulae, currents of energyrather than wind that he could drift on like thick water if he wanted, dottedwith doors and islands that orbit whatever passes for gravity wells in a skyscapeof ectoplasm.  Almost every touchstone inthe Ghost Zone moves, although most have a predictable pattern—about once everyten months, Danny tries not to use the Fenton portal if he can avoid it, onaccount of how it comes out practically on top of Walker’s prison—and learningthe rhythms of it is sort of like a hobby, at this point.  Danny doesn’t have a ton of time to kill, buthe’s figured out that, as long as he’s in ghost form, he can go for a longtime without feeling hungry or thirsty or tired, in the Ghost Zone, so onetime he told Jazz he was going to try his hand at cartography and spent theentirety of his parents’ five day out-of-state conference coasting on ectoplasmand trying to plot the place.  It cameout looking kind of like a star map, full of arrows trying to indicate movementdirection and a lot of scribbled notes like Pretty sure Clockwork moved thisand AVOID and Possibly Vlad’s portal, maybe close this.  

Danny doesn’t talk about it much, because the Ghost Zone makes hisfriends, his family, jittery.  He’s prettysure they’re worried he’ll decide not to come back some day.

13) What gets them flustered

One time a reporter manages to get a camera intoDanny’s face before he can book it after a fight, and she’s smart enough toalready be asking her first question before he realizes what was happening.

She’s also smart enough to start her first questionwith “Excuse me, Inviso-bill–”

“It’s Phantom,” he snaps,looking around in annoyance, and the reporter smothers a triumphant smirk.

“Yes, Phantom.  What made you become a hero,Phantom?”

Phantom just hangs there in the air for a moment, gapingat her, and then squeaks, “Excuse me?”

“You’re a ghost,” the reporter says, keeping aprofessionally straight face and a neutral, friendly tone.  “Whatmade you decide to be a hero?”

“I–didn’t?”  Phantom scratches a hand backthrough his hair, and the reporter silently thanks whatever quirk of ghostlyfunction is bringing a green glow like a blush to his cheeks and throat andears.  She’s going to lock down a raise with this interview, even if heflies off right this second–the first person to interview Amity Park’s ownsuperhero.  And he’s blushing.  “I’mjust keeping things under control, you know?”

The reporter grins.  “Well,” she says withfalse nonchalance, “would you mind answering a few questions?”

“Uh,” Phantom says.  “I have to–go.”

He turns invisible and makes a break for it,and the reporter’s fifty-second clip of a conversation runs on the local newsfive times in the next seven hours.  She gets a reputation for being ableto snag the neighborhood super for a few seconds, sometimes even multipleminutes.  She discovers real quick thathe’ll blush pretty reliably the second she drops the H word.

14) Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Danny works hard to seem helpless at school.  It kind of makes him crawl the walls, but he workshard, okay?  He lets himself getpushed around, he occasionally gets punched in the face, he does his best toconceal it when a year or two of ghost hunting as a full time job starts toshow in his human form, he spends a lot of time and energy projecting a façade oflocal hopeless wallflower.  He can’thelp seeming like a delinquent, given that he’s been living the C-average lifestyleby the skin of his teeth and misses about three class periods on a good week,but at least he can seem like a delinquent who would never, ever be a candidatefor competence.  He’s protecting a secretidentity out here.  Official Team PhantomPolicy, much as everyone might hate it, is that no one intervenes with Danny’scharade.  It gives Tucker hives and Samhas a hit list of bullies, but Danny’s always quick to smile off their concernand get on with his life.  He has ahealing factor and it’s been years since Dash was actually concerning tohim except as a potential stalker, Danny can stand to bite his tongue and take it.

Aaaaaaand then when he’s sixteen, Dash punchesTucker, instead.  Over some pettynothing, something that Tucker doesn’t even remember afterward—refusing to makea fake ID for him?  Laughing at Dash forfumbling a catch at the game on Saturday? Joking about how Dash’s grades were even worse than Danny’s?  It could’ve been anything.  It didn’t really even register with Tucker assomething worth getting punched over, whatever it was, but he guesses thatbullies can have bad days too.

So Tucker says whatever he says, and Dash whipsaround and sucker punches him, a swift hidden jab that only someone alreadywatching would see.  And then–

And then Danny dislocates Dash’s shoulder.  It’s not on purpose and it’s not subtle.  Tucker doesn’t really remember what happened—hewas a little busy gasping for air. Mostly he just remembers the crash of someone being slammed into a locker,and Danny’s voice, deep and un-Danny-like, snarling You don’t touch them,and a shout, a howl of pain and shock. By the time Tucker can stand upright, wheezing and clinging to Sam,every kid in the silent hallway is staring wide-eyed at Danny, skinny weakDanny Fenton who isn’t really so skinny and weak anymore.  Danny’s stepping back from Dash, who’sclutching at a shoulder that looks wrong under his letterman jacket, andDanny looks mildly horrified with himself, but he’s still standing betweenTucker and Dash.  

When the teachers show up, Danny goes quietly to theprincipal’s office, and gives a plain-spoken explanation of what happened—Dash punchedhis best friend, Danny slammed him into the wall, and somewhere in there hepopped Dash’s shoulder out of place.  He getssuspended for two weeks and detention for the next month, which he cooperateswith, and non-negotiable anger management counselling, which he mostly just…doesn’tattend.  Danny has decided that he doesn’tdo school counselling anymore, thanks.

After he comes back, Danny slips back into therhythm of things without any change in his behavior, but—it’s hard for everyoneto forget that they watched Dash’s favorite punching bag nearly put the king ofthe school through a wall.

Sam and Tucker enjoy a very peaceful remainder oftheir high school career.

18) Things they’ll never admit

Danny has not and will not talk to anyone about the accident withthe portal.  The actual events, yeah.  But he’s thought about it, and—they just don’tneed to know.  Sam already frettedherself blue over the Lichtenberg figure lacing up Phantom’s left arm to hisheart.  They don’t need to know how clearhis memory of being electrocuted is.

(Jazz watches Danny skirt around the Specter Deflector with abouta five foot radius of nervous respect, and she makes some educated guessesabout why, exactly, her brother doesn’t like being shocked.  But if he doesn’t want to talk about it, for once,she’s not going to wring it out of him.)

20) What Ifs/Alternate Timelines

I’m sure everyone and their cousin has done this but…I love Jazz and Danny’s relationship.  

So.

Jazz has been keeping an eye on herbrother for…ever.  This is partly becauseshe’s a worrier by nature and partly because their parents are both brilliantand affectionate and completely hopelessly scatterbrained.  Jack and Maddie are fine and all, but alsoJazz is frequently awestruck that she and Danny lived long enough to be able totake care of themselves.  Holy shitis she ever going to write a memoir.  TheChristmas I Re-killed the Turkey or something.  So when their parents are out for the day andshe wanders through the living room into the kitchen to see if the Nilla Wafershave been contaminated yet, and she realizes that she hasn’t seen Danny in fourhours, she starts looking around.  

Sam and Tucker’s bags are in hisbedroom, and all three of them have left their jackets by the door.  It’s a cool autumn, and Tucker complainsconstantly that he’s not built for the cold, he’s built for indoor rooms fullof computers, so they wouldn’t have gone out. The TV is off.  Danny’s room isempty.  It’s not dark enough yet forDanny to have dragged them up to the roof for stargazing.  

It’s about this point where Jazzstarts to feel like something is about to go horribly wrong.

She passes the door to the lab andhears Sam’s voice echo up the stairs, and then—

“Fine, fine,” Danny says from thebasement.  “It doesn’t even work.”

Jazz opens the door, already composinga lecture about not poking around in the lab (for Danny) and a lecture aboutremembering to lock the lab when they’re going to be out all day (for herparents), and starts down the stairs.

The crack-boom of the portalkicking on hits like a thunderclap, and then there’s a scream, someonewailing like they’re being killed.

Jazz never does remember how she gotdown the rest of the stairs, but she makes it just in time to see her brotherstumble out of the glowing green portal and fall straight through Sam’s armsand collapse into a pile of black-clad limbs and shocking white hair.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #ask meme #headcanon meme #starlight writes stuff #i have that adhd hyperfixation thing spinning up HARDCORE about danny phantom so...stay tuned #anyway some further thoughts about that au: it doesn't change a TON in the long term #but it DOES mean that danny has an ally in a) lying to his parents and b) handling vlad right out the gate #but what i'm really specifically interested in is jazz being there when danny comes out of the portal #she obviously cares about him a lot! i strongly headcanon that the fentons are a little...benignly neglectful #not because they don't care but because they're just REALLY not actually that equipped to focus on their kids #so jazz has had a huge hand in danny growing up rather than accidentally eating ectoplasm as a three-year-old and dying #so YEAH what i care about is that girl coming downstairs just in time to see her brother's ghost/dead body/indeterminate energy construct h #i think it takes jazz a second to look around the lab and do the mental math as sam and tucker scream danny's name #and then she FREAKS OUT #so that's some chaos to deal with while she flutters over a dizzy half-conscious danny and tries to call an ambulance #i...legit don't think danny admitted to his parents that he had a bad enough lab accident to go to the hospital #in any universe #i think he hedged and said he just got a little shock and felt fine and didn't need to see a doctor and managed to get out of it #but that's a longer story #anyway yeah jazz gets on the Fuck Vlad Train much faster in this one and there's angst about her worrying about danny #also in this timeline since jazz is in on everything from the jump she starts calling vlad 'vladimir' when he won't drop their full names #a queue we will keep and our honor someday avenge #lathori #asked and answered