#Ji Changmin Fluff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

streetlight11 · 8 months

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What Are You Doing Here?

Summary: It's been 6 years since you earned the title of being an Aunt to one of the most beautiful little girl you've ever laid eyes on. She was your sister's daughter and you love her with all your heart. So what happens when you go over to your sister's place to surprise both her and your niece, only to meet the babysitter who has been looking after your niece for a few weeks now?

Theme: babysitter au, ex-schoolmates to lovers

Genre: slowburn, romance, fluff

Warnings: mild language, mentions of irresponsible partner,

W/C: 10.9k

Pairing: Babysitter!Changmin x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! I'm back with another fanfic! Apologies for my horrible description about y/n's work and job role because I know nothing about finance and how it works 🤡 Hope you like the overall fanfic though 🙏🏼

6 years ago, your sister gave birth to the most gorgeous little human being you’ve ever seen. She was the reason why you became an aunt. You love your niece with all your heart, promising to be there beside her every step of the way. Reason being the guy who got your sister pregnant who is supposedly her boyfriend of 3 years, had chosen to abandon his responsibilities as a father when he found out she was carrying his child. You were beyond furious with him to the point where you actually went down to his apartment to curse the fuck out of him.

After your niece was born, you made sure that you were there with her as she grew up. She was the reason why you look forward to living everyday. There wasn’t a day where you didn’t spend time with her. When you were in college, you worked as a part time barista to pay off your school fees and monthly expenses on food and stuff. The extra money you had was spent on her toys, snacks, food, anything that would make her happy and lessen your sister’s burden in a way.

She is a single mom after all so it’s only right for you to help out with whatever you can. Whenever your sister has to work or is busy with something, you’re always there to help her out no matter how tired or busy you are. A few years following her birth, your sister had saved enough money to rent an apartment solely for her and her daughter, Lucy.

As much as she was thankful that your parents were okay with having her and Lucy live in your family home, your sister wanted to move out because your parents were already old and she didn’t want to burden them even more. Taking care of two kids was already enough for them. Therefore, your sister rented a place not too far from your campus. During the first three years after you graduated high school, you were still living with your parents.

When you finally saved enough money, that’s when you moved out and rented an apartment that was just a 15 minutes walk from your sister’s place. It was way easier to travel back and forth to look after Lucy and spend time with her ever since.

Sometimes you would go to their place, sometimes they would come to your place. You are pretty close with your sister. You loved her unconditionally so to see her go through parenthood alone, it definitely breaks your heart but you also see how strong she is. Not many people can do this and yet, here she is. You are beyond proud of her.

It’s been 7 years since you graduated high school and you are now a working adult. You are working under a pretty well known company. Your job is stressful but most of the time, you have very codependent team members whom you work well with. You are thankful that your team is a bunch of nice people who you can bond with. The team has a total of 5 people and you’re all really good friends with each other. There was Jieun, who is your team leader, Yoongi, Taehyung, Yeji and yourself.

You have been working with this company and the team for almost 2 years now and you’re still grateful for it till today. Whenever you’re having a whole load of work stress, they’re always there to relieve it. Even your sister knows them because of how often you tell her about them.

However a few months ago, your CEO announced that they were starting this new production line which will be a test to see how well the sales are. If it goes well, they will launch the product for good and put it out on the market. Your job was to keep an eye on the sales and calculate the financial impact of the product. It’s stressful but at least you have a team working with you on it.

Due to this new project, you had to OT more often every week and this has led to you only seeing Lucy on weekends and less on weekdays. It sucks that you have to spend less time with your niece but at least you still see her on weekends.

It was a Saturday afternoon and you promised to bring Lucy to the mall. So it was Lucy, your sister and yourself who are going to the mall to hang out for the day. Jisoo drove so she placed Lucy in her baby chair at the back seat while you sat in front with your sister. Lucy was sleeping so you had this time to have a private chat with Jisoo about life and work. A year ago, you were dating someone you met at university. He was two years younger than you and everything was going well with him.

He was your person.

Unfortunately, with the accumulating fights and disagreements began to slowly build up at one point, a huge argument happened one day and both of you decided to break things off after realizing that it might never work. Both of you had very different perceptions of things and could never come together as one. Therefore, that was the only logical thing to do and this all happened just over 2 months ago.

“I haven’t heard about him in a while. Lucy asked me about him recently too.” Jisoo said, only for you to stare blankly into the dashboard.

It took you a while to reply but when you did, you had to take a deep breath first and said, “We broke up…” Your sister glanced at you briefly but made sure to keep her focus on the road.

“When?”

“2 months ago, give or take…” You said quietly to avoid waking Lucy up.

“I’m sorry.” She said, making you shake your head.

“No, it’s fine. I just feel like we’re too different and we’re no longer compatible with each other. So I didn’t wanna waste my time pining over someone who doesn’t wanna work together.”

“Well, I guess you did the right thing then… What are you gonna tell her though?” Jisoo asked as you glanced at the back seat to find Lucy sleeping.

“I won’t say anything to her until she asks me about him, I guess…”

“Yeah, I think it’s best if she hears it from you instead of me.” Jisoo said. You agreed with her decision because it’s your life so you should be the one sharing, not her. Just then, she changes the topic to avoid the awkward atmosphere about your ex boyfriend.

“By the way, I know I should’ve told you sooner but a few weeks after you started to get busy with your OTs, I started to keep getting night shifts so I decided to hire a babysitter. It’s been a month now. And guess what?”

“What?”

“Lucy loves him! She adores him so much, it’s literally so adorable.”

“Wait a minute… Your babysitter is a guy?” You asked in disbelief.

“Yeah. Young and handsome too.” She said with a cheeky wink, causing you to gag. Your sister then scoffs at your reaction to defend herself before you get the wrong idea.

“Not for me, you fool. I’m telling you that he’s young and handsome.” She smirked teasingly to which you rolled your eyes.

“How young? And I don’t trust your tastebuds.”

“Rude. Look, he’s your age and I’m telling you… He is drop dead gorgeous.” She said but all you did was brush her off.

You still won’t believe her until you see him for yourself. Only then will you agree with whether he’s handsome or not.

You changed the topic again, not wanting to wake Lucy up as Jisoo finally pulls into the mall car park. All three of you got out of the car once it was properly parked and made your way into the mall. You spend almost half a day there, grabbing lunch, going to the clothing store to shop for your things, going to a toy store to buy Lucy new toys and plushies, going to watch a new cartoon movie in the cinema.

All in all, it was a very good day well spent with Lucy after a stressful week at work. Unfortunately, your day was being cut short when your sister got a last minute call from her senior nurse telling her to come down tonight to cover a shift for her colleague who took an urgent leave. You were pissed because today was supposed to be Jisoo’s day off but there’s nothing much you can say. Even if you told your sister to tell them it’s her day off, she would still go down to cover the shift.

Which is why you were now at her apartment to keep Lucy company for the night while your sister left for work. After she left, you showered Lucy and prepared her dinner. You were just feeding her dinner in the living room when she came to you with a sketchbook filled with drawings.

“Wow, did you draw these?” You asked as she sat in your lap to flip through the pages.

“Yeah! But Uncle Minie drew some of it!” She said, making you wonder if that was the name of her babysitter.

“Is Uncle Minie a good person?”

“He is! He’s very nice to me and mommy.”

“Mmm, you must really like him then, don’t you?” You said and as a result, she giggled adorably in your lap.

“I do! You have to meet him… I think you will like him too, Auntie Y/N!” She said so all you could do was smile. You continued to play with her after dinner until she grew tired so you could tuck her into bed. When she was finally asleep, you cleaned up the house a little before taking a shower and went to bed.

Almost a month has passed since you last saw Lucy and your sister. Work got very hectic and your schedule has been pretty off lately. You had to work on weekends for the past few weeks and it was mentally draining. The project has been a success recently which is why you had to work extra everyday but your schedule was starting to simmer down and was now proceeding to launch it for real and properly this time. Nevertheless, it has been really tiring for you but thankfully you had your team with you to motivate each other and give words of encouragement to one another.

It was a Friday evening and you decided to surprise Lucy and your sister tonight after not seeing them for so long. Before heading over to their place though, you didn’t forget to stop by Lucy’s favourite fast food restaurant to get her french fries. It was her ultimate favourite snack that she would never fail to ask for whenever you brought her out or came over to the house. You bought extra food so everyone could eat, including the babysitter just in case he was hungry.

It didn’t take long to arrive at your sister’s apartment so when you made it in front of her door, you gave it a few knocks and waited patiently for someone to open it. The one who ended up greeting you at the door was Lucy.

“Hi baby!” You said as she hugged your hips tightly with his small dainty arms.

“How are you, my favourite niece?” You asked as she let go of your hips to let you walk in. You closed the door behind you as Jisoo came out from the kitchen with her uniform already worn.

“I’m good, auntie!” Lucy said, making you kiss the top of your head before holding out the bags of food in your hand.

“I bought all of us dinner. And I bought you fries, Lucy!”

“Yay!” She cheered as she ran off and disappeared into the living room.

“What time are you leaving for work?” You asked as your sister took the bags from you while you took off your heels by the door.

“Soon. I have to come early tonight because one of the nurses took an urgent leave.” She said.

“Eat something first at least before you go. Don’t delay your dinner.” You scolded her while she quietly took out the fries from the bag. You helped her take a plastic plate from the cabinet, passing it to her. She then took out a handful of fries and placed it on the plate before you took it and brought it to the living room where Lucy was playing with her dolls.

“Lucy, auntie will put your fries here okay?” You said as she ran over to take one and put it in her mouth while excitedly thanking you. Just when you turn to go back to the kitchen, a figure comes out of the hallway only to stop dead in his tracks. His eyes were completely wide from shock.

“Changmin? What are you doing here?” His name slips off your tongue naturally as your sister looks back and forth between you and Changmin. He was speechless and so were you until Lucy ran up to his side and held his hand in hers with a bright smile.

“Auntie, how do you know Uncle Minie? Is he your boyfriend too?” Lucy asked as you glanced over to your sister and then to Changmin. He was still staring at you quietly but his eyes were no longer wide so you looked at Lucy and smiled.

“H-He’s just an old friend, who happens to be a boy. Not my boyfriend.” You explained to her while she let go of his arm and hops over to you when you gestured her to come to you.

“Who is your boyfriend then?” She asked, to which you kneeled down beside the coffee table while you pulled her into your lap.

“Remember Uncle Sunwoo?”

“The one who gave me the stitch soft toy?” She asked and you smiled at her.

“Yes. Do you remember him?”

“I do!”

“That was my boyfriend.” You said while gently cupping her cheek.

“Why isn’t Uncle Sunu here today?” She asked, only for you to accidentally glance up to find Changmin staring at you quietly with no particular expression on his face.

“Because he’s no longer my boyfriend anymore, that’s why he’s not here. But it’s okay, you have Uncle Changmin now right? I heard you like Uncle Changmin a lot.” You asked, only for her to giggle and point to him with a bright smile on her face.

“Yes! I like Uncle Minie!” She said. After you’ve let go of her, she runs back to him only to bring him to her play area in front of the tv.

You’ve known Changmin since kindergarten and high school. You used to bicker with him a lot and because he was your classmate, all the more reason for you to fight with him almost everyday. As much as you don’t like him at the time, you don’t consider him your enemy though. It’s not like you despise him or anything as a person. Sure he’s sort of similar to you in terms of being introverts but other than that, he’s too much of a weirdo to actually understand how he sees things when he was younger. Therefore, the endless amount of arguments with him. And after graduating, you never saw him again.

You went back into the kitchen to help pack the food for your sister, making sure she wouldn’t starve at work knowing how she is when she’s stressed or is thinking too much about things she chooses not to share with anyone. So when you placed the bag of burger and fries in her smaller lunch bag, you reminded her to eat when she’s having her break time and to not skip her meals during work. You then walked with her to the front door only to call Lucy over.

“Lucy, your mommy’s going to work.”

“Okay! Bye mommy!” She said as she ran to your sister to give her a hug and kiss. You were just watching them when Changmin’s voice sounded softly from behind you.

“Didn’t expect to see you again.” He said.

“Me too… Didn’t take you for a babysitter.”

“This is just a past time thing…”

“But you babysit her almost everyday.”

“Because I like her.” Upon hearing his words, this made you whip your head to him with a frown.

“My sister or my niece?” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“What do you think? Not gonna lie though, your sister’s pretty hot.” That’s when you slapped his arm and glared at him.

“My sister is off limits you pervert.” You scolded him, only for him to cackle.

“Fine. What about her sister then? Is she off limits too?” It took you a while to realise what he was saying and before you could even reply to him, Lucy was already rushing to you and waving to her mother.

“Bye sis.” You smiled as you gestured to Lucy to follow Changmin while you went to lock the front door. You came back to the living room to find Changmin teasing her by stealing her fries. You’ve never seen this side of him. Who knew Changmin of all people would be this good to a child especially considering he’s the youngest in his family.

About an hour or so later after you’ve showered and changed into your pyjamas since you’ve already planned to sleep over, you came back out to find Lucy curled up in Changmin’s lap on the couch. Paw Patrol was playing on the screen but it seemed like no one was really watching. You carefully walked closer to find Changmin patting her to sleep in his arms. He saw you from the corner of his eye so he glanced over his shoulder with a small smirk on his face.

“I think she’s in love with me.” He said, making you roll your eyes at him.

“I doubt that.” You walked over to kneel in front of his legs only to gently cup her face.

“Darling, come on. Let’s get you to bed.” You softly said as she stirred awake.

“Are you sleeping here tonight?” She asked tiredly while her tiny head was still against his chest.

“Yes, darling.”

Just then, Lucy looked up at Changmin and asked, “Are you sleeping here too?”

Changmin couldn’t help but glance over to you for a brief second before answering her, “I don’t have to sleep over tonight since your Auntie Y/N is here.” He said but she instantly whined.

“But… I want both of you here.” She said, making you stunned. Both Changmin and you exchanged looks for a second as if to figure out what to say but he beat you to it.

“Alright then. Uncle Min will stay with you and Auntie Y/N, okay?”

“Okay.” She giggled tiredly as she opened her arms to you so you took her onto your waist and carried her to her room. Once you’ve tucked her in, you sang her to sleep. Her favourite lullaby that apparently, only you and Changmin can sing for her. Lucy wouldn’t let your sister sing for her. She would ask your sister to read her a bedtime story instead. You made sure she was already fast asleep before you kissed her forehead and left the bedroom door slightly ajar. You came back outside to find Changmin cleaning up the mess she made with her toys.

While he was doing that, you cleared the kitchen by putting the leftover food in the fridge and throwing away whatever is deemed as trash. Both of you were working in silence, never once talking to each other. After you finished cleaning the kitchen, you went to the living room to find it empty. Changmin must’ve gone inside to sleep so you let out a soft sigh of relief. About half an hour later, you were just watching a tv series on netflix when soft footsteps came approaching you from behind. Before you could turn, Changmin came into your peripheral vision and sat down next to you.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” He asked as a strong whiff of vanilla filled your nostrils. It must be the body wash you saw in the bathroom.

“I could ask you the same question.” You said, earning a click of his tongue.

“I’m not sleepy yet. Your turn.”

“I need a break before I do a bit of work.” You said and he finally turns to you with a frown. You looked at him and gave him a shrug of your shoulders, “What?”

“It’s already after hours… What work do you possibly have to do?” He asked only for you to sigh.

“My work… You wouldn’t know.” You ended off in a whisper while turning your focus back to the tv. A few minutes later, Changmin excused himself quietly without telling you where he was going. Not like you cared or anything. So when you realised he never came back out after an hour, you guessed he was asleep. You stayed up till 4 in the morning just working on the upcoming project you had with the company’s sales.

You were doing your work at the kitchen island with your back facing the hallway. At one point during the night, Changmin left the guest room to go to the bathroom. He saw you seated on the stool with fingers tangled in your hair. He was curious to know what work you had to do that made you stay up all night but he wasn’t going to ask. He saw that it was nearing 4am and it kind of worried him a little. Changmin knew how tiring and mentally draining it is to stay up late to do work so he could only hope you’ll get the rest you deserve.

Days began to pass by fast, making sure to visit your sister’s house a few times a week on days where you weren’t working overtime so that you could spend time with Lucy again. It’s been over three months now and you’ve been to their house almost every week now. Of course not everyday since the project was still going on. And in all the times you came over, Changmin was always around. There are times when he’s oddly nice and kind to you, never once picking on you. Other times he was always being a little ass to you briefly so Lucy doesn’t catch on.

One thing’s for sure, Changmin has never really said something that made you absolutely pissed before so that’s good in a way. It was a Thursday evening and you made it to your sister’s apartment a few minutes after she left. You had to stay at the office for a bit and she had to leave early due to an emergency. Therefore, you didn’t get the chance to meet her. However, it’s okay because you still went over to spend time with Lucy.

You brought cakes for dessert, knowing she loves the strawberry shortcakes that were sold at a nearby cafe. When you reached their doorstep, you gave it a few knocks, only to hear her high pitched voices and soft footsteps rushing towards the door.

“Auntie!” She exclaimed excitedly as she carefully tiptoed to grab onto the door handle. But before she would accidentally wedge her toes under the door, Changmin was quick to hold onto the side of the door while gently telling her to step away from it.

With that being said, she hopped to the side only to hug your leg so you wrapped your arm around her hip and carried her up with one arm while the other was holding onto the bag of cakes. Changmin closed the door while you took off your shoes, only to feel him take the bag from you quietly and bring it to the kitchen. This allows you to properly hug Lucy and playfully swing her around as she laughs against your chest. You then placed her down on her feet, running back to her toys in the living room.

Changmin was just staring at the cakes so you couldn’t help but giggle softly at his sim-like behaviour and asked, “Why are you just staring blankly at the cakes? Is there something wrong with it?”

“No… I just, I’m trying to figure out which cake is Lucy’s.” Changmin said as you came to stand beside him.

“Make a guess.” You said. It took him 3 tries but when he finally got it, he decided to act smug about it like he was just trying to test you.

“I knew which one she liked. I just wanted to see if you knew.” Changmin said, making you mock him with a laugh. He made a silly face to you while rolling his eyes, earning a soft slap to his chest before calling for your niece. She came over to you and was utterly surprised upon seeing her favourite cake.

“Is this mine?” She asked excitedly, making you nod.

“Yeah! Do you want me to feed you or do you wanna eat it on your own?”

“Hmm… I want Uncle Minie to feed me.” She giggled while sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth teasingly. You faked a shocked face and soon pretended to get upset.

“Do you like Uncle Minie more or Auntie more?” You asked.

“Uncle Minie.” Lucy said with a laugh and that was it. You wanted to get back at her for choosing an outsider over yourself. Of course this was all just for fun and games, you weren’t actually this petty. However, while all this was happening, Changmin was actually enjoying this scene in front of him where you were having a playful banter with your niece. He was almost adoring you in a way where nobody else would realise unless someone was there to see his reaction live.

“Fine. Then you can’t have Uncle Minie. He’s mine.” You said as you stood in front of Changmin to shield her from him. Lucy laughed as she tried to go to the side but you followed her to block her. She was laughing till her heart’s content, failing to get to her babysitter who was all the while just standing there with the most fondest smile on his face.

Just when Lucy was holding your hands to apologise for choosing him instead of you, the pair of warm hands sliding over your waist and around your front was enough to catch you off guard as you accidentally crashed backwards into Changmin’s chest.

“Lucy ah, if you want uncle Minie, you have to want auntie Y/N too or else she’s gonna be very sad. Okay?” Changmin said as you tried so desperately hard not to turn your head because if you did, the chances of accidentally kissing him is very high. Not that you wouldn’t want that to be honest. But at least not right now. So with that being said, Lucy giggled and she quickly apologised to you before hugging you. Changmin had already pulled away from you but he was so tempted to keep his arms around you.

After you’ve kissed the top of her head, Changmin held her hand and brought her to the front to play and eat before she went to bed. All the while, you helped to tidy the house a little so that your sister wouldn’t have to do much cleaning when she gets home from work tomorrow. Hours later, you had just put Lucy to bed and so it was time for you to leave since you’re working tomorrow.

You came back out to find Changmin just finished cleaning up her scattered toys and putting them back in her basket. He stood up and immediately locked eyes with you, feeling something tickle your stomach.

“You’re not staying?” He spoke up first while he slowly approached you.

“I have work tomorrow. I have to come early and stay late to finish up the quotas for the project.” You sighed, watching as he stopped right in front of you. All you needed to do was stretch your arms out, grab his shirt and pull him in but of course you’re not gonna do that.

“So I’m assuming that you won’t be stopping by tomorrow evening?” He asked.

“Probably not… Why? Are you gonna miss me?” You couldn’t help but ask as a smirk slowly creeps onto your face.

“Miss you? I think you’re delusional, babe.”

“Am I?” You asked, seeing the way his eyes grew a tad larger for just a split second before it shrunk back to his original size.

“I’d miss you any day.” Changmin teased you back, now you’re the one who’s speechless. He laughed at your reaction, thinking you were hella cute as he watched you take your work bag and was making your way straight to the door. You left without another word said to him, hearing his cackle grow softer the minute the door was shut. As soon as Changmin had locked the doors and was making his way back into the apartment, he caught Lucy standing in the middle of the hallway just tiredly rubbing her eyes and was slightly groggy.

“Where did auntie go?” She asked so he carefully walked to her and carried her onto his waist to bring her back to her room.

“Auntie has to go home, darling. She has to work tomorrow.” Changmin gently explained to her while laying her back onto her bed and pulling the blankets over.

“Uncle Min?”

“Yes baby?”

“Do you like my auntie?” Lucy asked as she yawned but was patiently waiting for his answer. Changmin took no less than a minute to answer her question easily in a heartbeat.

“Yes I do. I like your auntie… I like her a lot.”

“You should tell her. I like you with my auntie a lot too.” She said as she slowly fell asleep again. Changmin unconsciously smiled, remembering this conversation. He definitely wasn’t lying to her about how he feels about you.

If only he can tell you…

A week has passed, as usual, your sister was working a night shift today and Changmin would be at her place to look after Lucy. Since it was a Friday evening, you were okay with sleeping over at your sister’s place since you’re not working tomorrow. So when you went there, everyone was present in the house. However, there is a new individual who is in the house and he was playing with Lucy while Changmin and your sister were in the kitchen preparing Lucy’s dinner.

“Hey! I’m here.” You said after Lucy greeted you at the door. Once you’ve taken off your heels, you made your way further into the house only to lock eyes with the new guy who soon stood up to greet you.

“Hello? I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ve met you before. You are?” You asked politely as he let out an awkward laugh and responded to your question nicely.

“I’m Heegeun. Jisoo’s uh… friend.” He smiled and you could tell he was lying but you never pry any further.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m her younger sister, Y/N.” You said before making your way into the kitchen. She was practically hiding behind Changmin so you pinched her side softly in annoyance.

“He’s not just your friend, is he? Who is he? Your boyfriend?” You asked in a whisper all behind Changmin who was scooping out the rice porridge into a bowl for Lucy. Even then, Changmin couldn’t help but smirk hearing this conversation happening right behind him.

“He’s… ah. I’ll explain tomorrow. I have to go now.” Jisoo escaped despite you trying to hold her back.

“Heegeun ah, let’s go. Lucy, mommy will see you tomorrow okay? I love you.” Jisoo said as she bid her daughter goodbye at the doorway. Meanwhile, you clicked your tongue in annoyance and whispered to yourself, “Ugh. He’s definitely not her friend…” Nevertheless, you heard the door click shut and Lucy soon went back to her toys. So you took this opportunity to interrogate Changmin instead.

“Why are you smiling? You know something, don’t you?” You asked, only for him to shrug his shoulders teasingly.

“I don’t know anything. He was already here when I came about an hour ago.” Changmin said, making you growl.

“There’s something fishy going on here…” You said while narrowing your eyes at him but then changed the topic as you took the bowl and walked over to Lucy to feed her dinner.

Your mind keeps drifting off to the guy earlier and you can’t stop worrying about history repeating itself again. Ever since what happened with Lucy’s biological father, you have gotten awfully overprotective towards your sister that you tend to analyse whoever wants to date her. So the fact that this guy suddenly appears in the picture without your sister telling you a thing about him, makes you feel slightly skeptical.

All the while you were just blankly staring into space with your mind somewhere else, Changmin was actually observing you. He kept smiling to himself knowing you were probably going crazy about who the guy was and all that. When you knew it was pointless to keep thinking about that guy’s relation with your sister, you just glanced to the left randomly with no particular intentions. Unfortunately, that caused you to lock eyes with Changmin but all he did was smirk at you charmingly.

After you’ve fed Lucy, you went to clean up the kitchen while Changmin accompanied her for the next few minutes before bringing her to bed. It took him less than 10 minutes to get her to finally sleep as he leaves her room quietly. Changmin walks into the living room to find you seated on the couch just watching your favourite american youtuber duo on the smart tv.

Changmin soon came to join you, sitting so close to you that you could literally rest your leg on his thigh since you sat with your legs bent into your chest. Still in your work clothes but thankfully you’re in formal pants so it’s fine to sit like that.

“What would you do if that guy is actually dating your sister?” Changmin suddenly asks, causing you to get agitated again.

“I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t break her heart and treat her the way she deserves to be treated or else I’ll come for his throat.”

“Woah. You’re literally threatening him.” He laughed but you frowned.

“After what that asshole did when he found out my sister was pregnant, I’m never letting any guy come near her unless he’s proved to me that he’s worthy of my sister.” You said protectively and he could sense that from you. Nevertheless, he totally understands where you’re coming from.

“So what kind of guys do you like?” He suddenly changes the topic, catching you off guard a little.

“I-I… I actually don’t know… If I like someone, I’ll just know I guess.”

“How would you know if you like someone?” He asked, making you shy all of a sudden. It was difficult for you to answer at first but you managed to do it after a few seconds of buffering.

“W-Well… When I have butterflies while being around them? Or maybe when I feel comfortable and safe around them?” Changmin seemed to digest your answer as you wondered why he was asking you this question. Just then, he got up and said he wanted to go to sleep claiming he’s tired and sleepy. You bid him goodnight as you went to take a shower before going to bed yourself.

The next morning, your sister came home at about 8am as she found you sleeping in her bed. That same afternoon when Jisoo had already gotten her sleep since today was her day off, the four of you decided to hang out at the mall. Changmin was the one driving today so you sat in front with him while your sister and niece sat at the back. All the while, Lucy poked her head through the gap in the middle between you and Changmin. She sang and danced to the songs that Changmin put on his car radio just for her.

At one point, while Lucy was just talking to her mother about something out the window, you glanced back only to smile at the sight. The car gradually came to a stop at the traffic junction so you turned to look in front but instead, you caught Changmin’s gaze on you.

“What?” You asked softly, earning a cheeky little smile from him. One that wakes the butterflies in your stomach.

“Have I ever mentioned you’re pretty?” He suddenly flirts with you despite knowing there’s two other people in the back.

“Shut up.” You dismissed him with a shy laugh, knowing he’s just being playful. There’s absolutely no way he actually means what he said… Right?

Just then, Changmin glared and clicked his tongue at you to show that he was probably disappointed with your reaction. Though, knowing how he is, he was just joking with his reaction and it was true because he then replied, “Ungrateful…” Upon hearing this, you gently punched his arm and he hissed but never got angry for real. How did you know? Because right after he did that, you could see the way the corner of his lips curled up.

In another 10 minutes, you arrived at the mall where Changmin finally parked the car in the parking lot upstairs. The moment the engine was turned off, Lucy was already scrambling out of the car and was dragging her mother into the lobby which leads straight into the shopping mall. She was so eager to go see the toy shops she saw the other day. While the two mother and daughter were walking ahead, you waited for Changmin to get out of the car and locked it before walking with him.

You were going to turn the corner where the slope is when Changmin slid his right arm around your waist from behind to pull you in right as a car was speeding down the slope.

“Watch where you’re going, pretty.” Changmin said, making you blush.

“I-I was about to stop…” You faked an excuse as he squeezed your side softly before letting go.

Both of you made it safely into the mall, not surprised when you saw the two of them entering the toy shop just opposite from the lobby. You walked towards the shop and went inside to find them. Lucy was going around, looking at all the toys and playsets but your sister told her not to get any because she already has a lot at home.

Lucy isn’t the kind to cry and beg her mother for something she wants but you can see from her expression. Your heart breaks whenever you see her like that so when all of you were now at an ice cream shop, everyone had their own ice creams except for Lucy. She was sulking so she didn’t wanna buy anything even when her mother consoled her. With that being said, you looked at Lucy who was seated diagonally across from you and beside Changmin with a smile.

“Hey Lucy darling, mind if you accompany me go see a dress at one of the shops? I think I might change my mind about it.” At first she just shook her head and hung her head against Changmin’s chest. So you got up and went over to her side before you cupped her face and made her look at you gently, giving you the chance to whisper to her something her mother couldn’t catch.

“I’ll buy whatever you want from the toy store but don’t tell mommy.” That was all you said as she finally tore away from Changmin and kept her sad face on but decided to follow you. It was only when the two of you were no longer visible in their sight that you high fived her and she giggled excitedly to you.

Meanwhile, after you left, Changmin was just eating his ice cream when your sister suddenly spoke up from her seat diagonally across from him.

“Changmin, you’re a really nice guy and apparently a very good babysitter.”

“Oh. Thanks? I’m just doing my job.” Changmin said with a laugh, only for her to smile.

“But I think it’s time for me to talk to you about this…” She paused to give him the element of suspense. He was thinking that he was gonna be in trouble for something he did wrong or maybe even fired at this point. Except, the question that came out of her mouth was the least expected question to ever cross his mind.

“Do you like her?” She asked, catching him off guard.

“H-Her who? Your daughter or your sister?”

“I know you like my daughter. But unfortunately, I’m referring to my sister.” She laughed to lighten up the mood and it worked. Changmin felt a little less tense but he was still nervous about the question. Since he was taking too long to answer, she decided to change her question.

“Okay, nevermind. Scratch that. Let me rephrase myself… What do you think of my sister?”

Now that’s a question he could answer in a heartbeat.

“I think she’s an amazing person. She’s smart, kind, and can be annoying sometimes back when we were younger but she’s such an amazing auntie to Lucy and I can see that really well.” Your sister smiled happily at her bowl of ice cream before she spoke up afterwards.

“Now is it easier for you to answer my original question that I asked?” She teased and so Changmin chuckled nervously but he felt ready to give her his answer.

“I do like your sister. I actually like her a lot now…”

“Good. Because I think she likes you too, just that she’s still trying to figure that part out.” Your sister said as he felt something tickle his heart. Do you really like him too? If you do, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Just a few seconds after, you came back with Lucy and there was a huge plastic bag you were holding in your hand, paired with a toothless soft toy in Lucy’s arms. Your sister’s jaw drops as Changmin simply laughed at her reaction.

“I knew you were lying earlier, you brat.” She said to you, making you stick your tongue out at her teasingly.

“I know.” You said as you flipped your hair sassily and she scoffed but her smile betrayed her.

“Well, now that you’re here, I’m gonna go check out the home furniture store upstairs.” She said as she soon disappeared. Changmin brought Lucy to go buy her ice cream since she was in a happier mood now. When they came back, Lucy asked Changmin to feed her. He did it without hesitation, paying full attention to her only to abandon his own cup of ice cream that was ⅓ done.

“Lucy, can you eat on your own? Uncle Min needs to finish his ice cream before it melts” You said, trying to make her listen.

“No! I want Uncle Minie to feed me.” She said with a proud smile on her face.

“Can I feed you then? He needs to eat his ice cream too.” You tried to persuade her but she whined.

“Lucy.” You called her name once in a serious tone but she looked at you with a frowning pout. Her eyes started to get glossy so Changmin quickly stepped in and smiled at her.

“It’s okay, Lucy. Uncle Minie will eat later. Come, open your mouth.” He said while slowly bringing the spoon to her mouth. She eats it quietly, avoiding your gaze in case you scold her as she fiddles with her toothless soft toy ears. You let out a soft sigh, which was unfortunately heard by Changmin. You pressed your fingertips to your temples, only to hear him direct his words to you.

“Since she doesn’t want you to feed her, you can feed me before my ice cream turns into soup.” Changmin said. You glanced at him and then his ice cream bowl. It was starting to melt so you took his bowl and scooped a spoonful of ice cream and his toppings before bringing it to his mouth.

He ate it and the corner of his lips instantly curled into a small smile. You pretend you didn’t see that as he turned back to Lucy to feed her. This continued until her ice cream was finished, only then could he eat his dessert on his own. However, when you were about to pass it to him, he simply sat there with his mouth open. You raised your eyebrows at him in question and he smirked.

“Since you’ve been feeding me, you might as well continue.” Changmin said, making you shove the spoon onto the tip of his nose, getting a small blob of ice cream on it. You laughed as he narrowed his gaze at you on purpose but it didn’t scare you.

“It was a perfect opportunity. I’m sorry.” You said, only to feed him the last scoop before handing the rest to him. Changmin ate on his own after wiping his nose while Lucy came to sit next to you and apologised for making you angry. You told her you weren’t angry and that you just wanted her to be independent and she listened. All the while, Changmin was listening to you and it sparked something in him. Not long after, your sister came back and soon, all of you left to head home.

A few minutes upon reaching back at her apartment, you told your sister you weren’t staying over because you have to clean the house tomorrow so she said okay. Changmin also said he needed to go home to do his laundry. So when it was time to say goodbye to Lucy, both Changmin and you gave her a goodnight hug despite her crying, begging for you two to stay. Changmin went ahead and cupped her cheeks in his hands, giving her forehead a soft kiss to calm her down.

“Don’t cry, Lucy. Uncle Minie will come see you again soon. Auntie Y/N too, okay?” He said, making your heart swell.

“Y-You promise?” She asked so he nodded and did a pinky swear with her.

“I promise.”

“O-Okay…” She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck before letting go. She then came to you so you squat down to match her height and gave her a warm hug too. When both you and Changmin finally stepped out of the apartment unit, she gave you one big wave before her mother gently guided her back inside.

You were quietly walking next to him when he asked, “How are you getting home?”

“Bus, probably.” You said, only for him to offer you a ride home.

“I-It’s fine. I can take the bus.”

“I don’t take no for an answer.” He said, allowing you to enter the lift first. Once you got into his car, he asked for your address and so you gave it to him. In the car, his mind drifted back to your sister’s words earlier.

“I think she likes you too”

Changmin’s mind was swirling with questions following those words but he never actually voiced out to you about it. When he finally parked the car in front of your apartment complex, you thanked him for the ride home and bid him goodnight. He simply nodded and so you left his car right after.

Days have passed and it was recently announced that there will be a company event at the end of this week. The event is to celebrate the company’s 25th anniversary upon its first launch. Not only that, everyone was encouraged to bring a plus one to the event, be it their significant other, a friend, a family member, etc. Therefore, your friends in your team have decided to invite their partners along since they were all either engaged or in a relationship with someone. The only one who is single between the five of you, is you.

“So, are you guys gonna bring your partners?” Taehyung asked, earning a smirk from Yoongi.

“Hell yeah. I would be glad to show off my fiancè to that girl in the HR department who keeps flirting with me at work.” Yoongi said, making you laugh.

“How about you?” Yeji then turned to ask you, earning a quiet sigh from you. They knew you broke up with Sunwoo a while ago and that you’ve been single ever since. She felt bad for asking you so she tried to cheer you up, “You can go with me. We don’t need to bring anyone to the event.”

However, you knew she would love to bring her boyfriend to this event so you just smiled and rejected her offer. You reassured them that you’ll figure something out and told them not to worry about you. As much as they didn’t want you to feel left out, they knew you wouldn’t be affected by going solo to the event. With that being said, the topic was dropped and Jieun proceeded to talk about something else.

A few hours later, you made it to your sister’s apartment after work to have dinner before your sister leaves for work. You were at the kitchen island eating the kimchi soup your sister made with her while Changmin was in the living room with Lucy and you kept thinking about the company event. Your sister could probably sense your mind being somewhere else so she was the first to break your train of thoughts.

“You look like your mind just did a brain fart over there. What’s going on?” She asked you calmly as you sighed.

“My company is doing a 25th anniversary event this Saturday evening. They invited everyone in the company…”

“But?” She said knowing you were hiding something when you paused.

“But they encouraged all the workers to bring their plus ones. I can’t bring Sunwoo because he’s my ex now.”

“So ask Changmin.” She said almost so easily, causing you to widen your eyes in shock. Just then, Changmin’s voice sounded from behind you as he heard his name in the equation.

“Ask me what?” He said as you glared at your sister to keep her mouth shut but she of course didn’t care.

“She has this company event on Saturday evening and she needs a plus one so I told her to ask you since I’ll be out of town from Friday to Sunday with Lucy.” She said with a proud smile on her face. You just wanted to stab her right now for being so blunt. Nevertheless, Changmin looked at you and gave you his answer with no hesitation at all whatsoever.

“Sure. I’ll go with you. That is if you’re okay of course.”

You were speechless but maybe you were just a tad bit happy that he was okay to go with you considering you weren’t technically friends to begin with. So since he already said he could go with you, that’s one less thing on your checklist to prepare for the weekend.

A few days went by and it was finally time to get ready for the company event. You texted Changmin to ask again if he was really okay with going to the event as your plus one. He sent you the cutest message you’ve ever gotten by someone even though it sounds pretty threatening considering it’s him who texted it.

“You can either accept the fact that you’re going with a handsome lad or choose to go to the event with your lonely ass. You pick.”

It wasn’t a surprise that you laughed upon reading the text but he doesn’t have to know that… For the event, you decided to pick out the most formal yet casual dress you owned which was a simple black fitted lace dress that stops at your mid thighs. Pairing it with your favourite nude open toe heels that were just 3 inches at least. Your makeup was very light and you had your hair clipped up, leaving your bangs down to frame your face. When he texted you at 7pm saying he was downstairs, you texted back to acknowledge him and soon took your necessary belongings.

When you made it downstairs, you saw him lean against the passenger side door looking handsome as ever. Changmin was wearing a black skinny jeans, white button down formal shirt with the first four buttons undone, a black blazer over that and his black boots. His hair was jet black with the slight side parting, hair styled up to show his forehead.

Your heart was beating so fast as you approached him but you quickly maintained your composure when he finally looked up to meet your eyes. Changmin checked you out briefly and pretty much openly, making you feel a little small under his intense gaze. When he finally locked eyes with you again, he smirked charmingly at you and said, “Have you always looked this hot?” His comment was totally unexpected as it awoke the butterflies in your belly.

“Apparently not, I guess.” You said, only for him to laugh. Both of you got into the car and you gave him the address so he finally drove off following the map. In the car, he asked you more about the event and you tried your best to answer every question to your best abilities.

Right after he parked the car in the parking lot, he turned the engine off and suddenly asked, “By the way, what am I supposed to be tonight?”

“Oh… U-Uh… I don’t know. I guess just go with the flow?”

“Good idea.”

With that being said, both of you made your way into the lobby and went up to the ballroom level via the lift. When you arrived at the ballroom, you showed the security your staff pass and soon entered the venue with Changmin closely behind you. The room was filled with your colleagues but only a few were recognisable to you. Changmin scanned the entire room curiously, trying to get used to the new environment until he felt soft fingers wrap around his hand to bring him back to reality.

“Hey, keep walking or you’ll get lost.” You said with a gentle smile on your face, making his heart flutter. Nevertheless, he followed you to a table where your friends and their plus ones were seated at.

“Y/N! You made it!” Yeji said with an excited tone as her eyes soon flew over to Changmin behind you. She smirked at you but Taehyung beat her to the questions.

“Hey, who’s this?” He asked with a teasing smirk, making you blush.

“Guys, this is Changmin… He’s uh…” You paused as your mind grew fuzzy on what to say so you naturally turned to look at Changmin. However, he seemed oddly calm as he finally looked at them and spoke up confidently that it made you slightly shocked.

“Boyfriend… I’m her boyfriend.” Changmin said, causing your friends to make excited sounds that you couldn’t help but laugh, finding it funny.

“It’s nice to meet you, Changmin. You definitely made a good choice.” Taehyung said, making you slap his arm and soon took a seat in the empty chair next to him while Changmin sat next to you. All of you began to chat as Changmin surprisingly got along well with your colleagues and including their individual partners too. The event was going well so far, the CEO gave out his speech and was giving out awards to the staff members in the company. After that segment was done, it was currently a free and easy time. People can mingle around, dance on the dancefloor, etc.

Just then, Jieun noticed a photobooth at the other side of the room so she spoke up, telling everyone at your table to go take pictures for memories. Changmin remained seated at first but when you noticed he wasn’t moving, that’s when Yoongi spoke up to address him.

“You too, Changmin. Come on.” Changmin’s eyes grew wide as he looked up at you and you smiled. You patiently waited for him, seeing how hesitant he was. So to ease him up a little, you laced your fingers with him and he turned to look down at your intertwined fingers. Changmin glanced up to meet your soft eyes staring back at him, melting him into a puddle.

“We’re here together, remember?” You asked so he nodded. Both of you began to make your way to the photobooth where your friends and their partners were already busy choosing props for the pictures.

They beckoned you over so you dragged Changmin with you. Once you’ve chosen your prop which was a cat ears headband, Changmin chose the same as you so that you were both matching. First picture, the girls sat on the bench while the guys stood behind you. Second picture, the bench was taken away as you guys scattered around to stand with your partners. You stood behind Jieun while Changmin was to your left. Right before the picture was taken, you felt his warm hand gently rest on your waist to hold you securely beside him.

Your heart was racing as the picture was taken and they were now deciding how to pose. Meanwhile, you turned to him and saw that his hair was a bit messy. While everyone was deciding how to pose, you reached up and carefully adjusted his bangs so that they weren’t poking his eyes. All the while, Changmin couldn’t help but stare into your eyes even though you weren’t looking at him. When you finally realised he was staring at you, that’s where you giggled and whispered to him quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing. You just look really cute right now.” Changmin said.

You blushed yet again as you gently slapped his chest but he quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, his left hand holding his right wrist to keep you secure against him. Since you were stuck like that, you ended up resting your hands on his chest while you posed for the third picture.

“Okay guys! Should we do a cute photo for the last one?” Yeji asked, only for Taehyung to suggest something very unexpected.

“We should kiss our partners!” He said, making you panic slightly. Changmin noticed the way you tensed up in his arms so he felt the need to calm you down. With that being said, Changmin nudged your cheek with his sharp nose to make you look at him. When you turned, Changmin smiled down at you with his arms still around you.

“We don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to. We can just pretend.” He said calmly, making your heart melt.

Has he always been this sweet?

“I-I… Are you sure?”

“Of course. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything.” He reassured you and it was enough to make you feel a lot better.

Everyone else was already in their positions as they brought back the bench. Two couples were seated while the other three were standing. You were on the left side with Changmin, standing behind Yoongi and his fiancè. The cameraman did a countdown to tell you when he would snap the picture. So you turned to look at Changmin as you slid your hands onto his neck and kept them there.

3…

Changmin smiled softly at you while he carefully leaned down to let his nose brush against yours.

2…

You then saw his gaze fall down south easily as he let out a soft but shaky breath to calm his own rapid heart despite the smile still plastered on his face.

1…

Just two seconds before the cameraman took the picture, you tilted your head up to let your lips crash against his softly. He was still smiling into the kiss when the picture was captured, making you caress his jaw gently with your thumbs. When you pulled away, you struggled to meet his eyes. Butterflies erupted rapidly in your stomach, earning a soft laugh from him.

“Look who’s being brave tonight.” He teased you over a whisper, making you shy.

“It’s the best opportunity I have, I guess?” You said and he couldn’t help but agree. All of you returned the props back to the table and made your way back to the table. About an hour later, the event was finally over so it was time to head back home. You bid goodbye to your friends and their partners before walking back to Changmin’s car.

Both of you remained quiet during the first few minutes, not really sure how to approach the topic of what happened earlier. At one of the traffic junctions, you were just staring out the window, your mind currently running haywire thinking about the kiss when you felt his soft hand slip into yours and carefully laced his fingers together with yours. Changmin brings your hand up only to plant a gentle kiss to the back of your hand before resting them in his lap while he drives. When he made it to your apartment, he didn’t need to be asked because he was already walking with you to the lobby.

You quietly brought him to the lift and up to your apartment level, all in a peaceful silence. When you reached the 12th floor, both of you got out of the lift as you led him to your door. After you’ve unlocked your door, you turned around but Changmin thought you wanted to say your goodbyes.

“I’ll see you around then? Goodnight Y/N.” Changmin said as he was about to walk off when you held his wrist and pulled him back only to cup his face with your other hand and tugged him down to kiss him. Changmin was genuinely stunned this time as he froze when you kissed him. His hands were awkwardly hovering over your waist. Changmin was so scared of making the wrong move but when he felt how genuine your kiss was, that’s when he finally melted against you.

He easily wraps his arms around your waist to pull you into his chest while guiding you back to gently crash against the door. Changmin’s kiss was passionate and needy, his hands squeezing your sides as though he was afraid to let you go. You pulled away first to take a breath, holding his face with both hands and smiled.

“Stay with me tonight…” You whispered over his lips, causing him to go crazy.

“I would absolutely love to.” Changmin smirked as he kissed you again while reaching for the door handle to push it open. You stumbled back into your apartment while he held you to prevent you from falling over.

He then kicked the door closed and locked it before lifting you up onto his waist while kissing you again. He kicked off his shoes while he helped to unbuckle your heels and let it slip down to the ground. He walked deeper into your apartment, guiding him to your bedroom. Once he made it there, he brought you to your bed, gently laying you down as you sat up and watched him take off his blazer and tossed it to the ground.

Changmin crawls up the bed to join you, situating himself between your legs as you pull him down for a kiss. While you were busy kissing him, your hands began to unbutton his white shirt and pushed the material off his shoulders for him. He threw it to the ground as he then pouted to you adorably.

“Why am I the only one with less clothes on?” He asked, only for you to giggle.

“Because mine is just one piece.” You said, earning a playful smirk from him. Changmin kissed you while pinning your hands above your head. He laced his fingers with yours, holding them against the mattress while he kissed you lovingly. Suddenly, he stopped only to look you dead in the eye. You thought he was going to change his mind and that he just realised that this wasn’t what he wanted but then what comes out of his mouth next was totally unexpected.

“I think I love you.”

“What?”

This time, he said it confidently.

“Scratch that… I love you, Y/N.” Changmin said, making your heart swell. With that being said, you kissed him longingly while caressing his cheek. When you pulled away, you slowly fluttered your eyelids open to meet his gaze and smiled.

“I love you too, Changmin.”

That was all he needed to hear before continuing with where you both stopped. Knowing that the feelings are mutual, it felt a little more intimate now. All the while, he was being gentle to you, asking you questions to make sure you’re okay with what he’s doing. He would only go rough when he needs to, etc. That night, you felt so loved and respected. He showered you with so much love that it made you feel so full at the end of it all.

You’re glad he went to the event with you that night because if he didn’t, you probably still wouldn’t know how you felt for each other.

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz #the boyz ji changmin #tbz changmin #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #tbz q scenarios #tbz q x reader #the boyz q #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin fluff #ji changmin scenarios

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boyzcatchingfire · 7 months

Text

That Dog! ~ *Ji Changmin*

Summary: You love your boyfriend and you love your dog. But you're starting to feel like a third wheel when you introduce the two of them. But who gets jealous over a dog?!

Pairing: Ji Changmin X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluffyish Drabble

Word Count: 485

Warning: Jealous over a dog

Masterlist

Taglist: @foxwinter

“You never told me you had a dog!”

Turning away from the refrigerator for a brief moment, you noticed that Changmin had found your pomeranian. You shrugged. “I didn’t think she was important.”

“How could you think she wasn’t important!” He gasped. “She’s just darling! I think I’m in love.”

You rolled your eyes before grabbing a drink from the fridge. You loved your dog dearly, but you didn’t think she was worth all of the fuss and attention Changmin was giving her. She still could be quite the pain in the ass when she wanted to be.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything while I’m still up?”

“Nope! I got everything I need right here in my arms.” He cooed, hugging your dog tightly.

“Alright.” You sat next to him and started the movie.

You were glad Changmin could hang out with you again. It felt like ages had passed since you last had a movie night. And now your monthly tradition could continue once more now that things were starting to slow down again for him.

“You’re so cute.” You hear him mumble under his breath. “It’s like I’m petting an adorable, soft, little cloud. My little cotton ball.”

Glancing over at him, you noticed he wasn’t paying attention to the movie at all. He was completely engrossed with your pomeranian in his lap. You frowned. If he wasn’t even going to try and watch the movie with you, what was the point? So you paused the movie and pouted.

Was it childish? Yes. But you also didn’t invite Changmin over just to obsess over your dog!

It was about fifteen minutes later when he noticed the movie wasn’t playing anymore. “Hey. When did you pause the movie?”

“A while ago.”

“Are you okay?” He asked.

You sighed. “Look, Changmin, I invited you over to hang out and make funny of stupid movies together, like we used to. But ever since you met my dog, it’s like I don’t even matter anymore. I know you’re a busy guy nowadays, so I waited until you had free time before I asked you to come over, so that it was just the two of us. I just want to have movie nights with you like we used to.”

He nodded and set your dog on the ground. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve missed hanging out with you. I’m sorry that I completely ignored you. I didn’t mean to make you feel this way.”

“Thank you, Changmin.” You smiled and cuddled up next to him. “Do you want to restart?”

“Yes please.” He mumbled sheepishly, placing his head in between your head and shoulder.

You chuckled. “It’s fine, I don’t mind. And, if you’re up for it, sometimes we can go to the dog park with her instead of a movie night.”

“Actually I plan on stealing her when you’re not paying attention.”

“What?”

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destiny-fics · 1 year

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Always and Forever

[Ji Changmin x Fem!Reader]

Pairing: Ji Changmin x Fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before!au, University!au

Summary: Your university’s annual ski trip was met with a great amount of excitement and anticipation for what might occur, especially for you and Changmin during your first trip to the lodge together. While you're there realisations are made and steps are taken which change the course of your relationship. But drama when you both arrive home put a stop to something great as soon as it has begun. Maybe those letters should have stayed a secret.

Warnings: Fighting, making out, allusions to cheating or going behind someones back, Changmin and y/n are dumb, crying

General Taglist: @hiseu @yeosayang @avyskai @whatudowhennooneseesyou @foxdaisy @lickslixie @maskedmochiii

Series Taglist: @calliopegoist @smuchsmut @ilikepalta @heednpy @ilovechanhee @quiltykissed @sanghak-enthusiast

Part of the ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’ Series

Series Masterlist

A/N: Well we are finally at the end. I’m so so excited and also sad that we have come to the end of this story. Things have changed a little bit while I was writing this and so I do have to apologise but there is no smut in this story. I just felt that it didn’t really fit with the plotline. Regardless I do really hope that you all enjoy it and thank you all so much for supporting this piece!

The university’s annual ski trip had been causing quite a stir around campus. You had never been, preferring to not join your classmates while they went away to get drunk, and instead simply stayed at home to get drunk instead. However, this year would be different.

Because you were now ‘dating,’ Changmin. Changmin, who always went on the ski trips. Changmin, who was holding your hand tightly as the two of you made your way to the bus, suitcases rolling alongside you as you walked. It was already too cold for you and you huffed softly as you realised it would only get colder when you got up to the lodge. Changmin smiled, looking down at you with his head tilted.

“You okay?”

“Just thinking about how cold it’s going to be up there.” You grumbled, making Changmin laugh.

“Oh you’ll be fine you big baby. If it makes you feel better,” he smiled. “I can always wrap you up in my arms on the bus.”

You pulled a face and shook your head, “That will not be necessary, just give me your jacket, I’ll be fine.”

“Oh come on,” Changmin tried to look unbothered, even as his heart clenched at the idea that you didn’t want him to cuddle you on the way to the lodge. He’d been thinking about it a lot since after Chanhee’s party and well…maybe he didn’t want to get back together with Gen anymore. Maybe, he wanted to be with you, really be with you, not just some fake relationship. Changmin wanted something real. He threw his arm around you as he led you onto the bus. “A jacket cannot compete with your own boyfriend.”

“Oh my god, get a room you two,” a venomous voice sounded from behind you and you turned to find Gen standing behind you, tapping her foot impatiently. “If you could not flaunt your disgusting relationship in front of the rest of us that would be amazing.”

“Gen, babes, the jealousy is showing,” Chanhee piped up from behind her, making you snort softly. Gen just huffed, rolling her eyes as she shoved you and Changmin aside to sit on the bus. The two of you turned to look at each other, eyebrows raised, before making your way to your own seats, Changmin letting you have the window side. You’d mentioned it in passing to him once, that you preferred sitting on the window side, because you loved watching the world go by and because you could easily lean your head against it to sleep. You hadn’t expected him to remember that about you, and you supposed that maybe he hadn’t, but your heart still warmed at the idea that he both listened to and remembered the little things you had told him. Speaking of little things, as you sat down, you noticed a scrunchie of yours around his wrist and your heart warmed even more. You grabbed his hand gently before looking up at him.

“You’re wearing one of my scrunchies?”

“Um, of course I am,” he sounded offended that you were even questioning him. “That’s like boyfriend 101 y/n. Didn’t you know that?”

“Why would I know boyfriend 101?”

He smiled and leaned forward to peck your nose, making you gasp softly “You watch all those stupid romance movies right?”

“Hey, I remember someone spending several hours watching those movies with me. And,” you pretended to think, grinning at him “I remember you crying to plenty of those movies with me too.”

“Okay, okay,” he put his hands up in defence “maybe I also enjoy those stupid romance movies. Which is how I know boyfriend 101.”

You rolled your eyes at him, leaning your head against his shoulder as the bus began to move away from your college campus and towards the ski lodge. You didn’t stay awake for very long, gently lulled into sleep by the movement of the bus and the softness of Changmin’s shoulder. Chanhee grinned at his friend and knocked him gently on the shoulder. He had been just watching you sleep quietly, a little smile on his face at how peaceful you looked and he frowned as he moved to look at Chanhee, mouthing a ‘what?’ at him.

“You are whipped my friend,” Chanhee smiled, laughing when Changmin flipped him off. He knew Chanhee was right, but he couldn't let him know that and turned back to you, beginning to pet your hair softly. Was it creepy of him to say that you looked beautiful like this? So soft and peaceful, it was beautiful. You stirred slightly in your sleep, moving slightly and your lips pressed against Changmin’s shoulder. His breath hitched and he smiled a little at the feeling as your eyes fluttered open. You pressed another, lazy kiss to his shoulder and looked up, narrowing your eyes at him when you noticed him watching you.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“No reason,” He hummed softly, pressing a kiss to your head. “You’re just so pretty.”

You scrunched up your nose, pulling away from him a little bit. Your cheeks were hot and you hoped Changmin couldn’t feel the heat against his shoulder. “Don’t say stuff like that. I might actually fall in love with you Changmin.”

“How do you know that wasn’t my plan all along?”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head “Because if it was you wouldn’t have agreed to this whole arrangement.” There was a bitterness laced through your tone which you hoped Changmin would miss, but he didn’t, frowning a little.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t this your idea? You’re the one who wanted to get Chan off your back.”

“And you’re the one who wants to get back with Gen.” You hummed, pulling completely away from him and looking out the window, falling silent as the bus pulled up to the lodge. It was like you couldn’t wait to be free of Changmin, immediately walking off with a friend of yours once you had got off the bus. Changmin sighed, rubbing his eyes, before tensing up as Gen’s voice sounded from behind him. “Trouble in paradise?”

Changmin scoffed, turning to face her “No, Gen. We’re doing just fine.”

“Just saying,” she smiled, sickly sweet. “If things aren’t going well then,” she hummed, moving forward to press a key card into his hands. “You know where to find me.”

Changmin shivered as Gen pulled away, turning on her heel to head into the lodge. Chanhee placed a hand on his shoulder gently and began to lead him up to the lodge.

“You better not do anything stupid Min,” Chanhee’s voice was warning and Changmin nodded.

“I won’t.”

“Good. Because I saw y/n’s face when she looked at you. She cares about you, much more than Gen ever did.”

Changmin nodded again, a heavy pit beginning to open up in his heart. He should feel excited about all of this, you reciprocated his feelings, it wasn’t all just fake for you either. But he was also scared about what that would mean for the two of you.” He looked down at the key card Gen had given to him and sighed, putting it in his pocket.

He wouldn’t need it anyway.

It was cold. Far too cold to be wearing a swimsuit. And yet here you were. Although, you supposed that you would be getting into a hot tub soon.

Depending on what Changmin had to say to you, of course.

If you were being completely honest, you hadn’t expected to receive a message from him. You’d seen Gen slip her room’s keycard into his hands and assumed that it was the end for the two of you, perhaps it was and Changmin was just calling you to talk about how to stage your break-up.

He was already sat in the hot tub when you arrived and he sent you a small smile. You swallowed hard, standing outside the hot tub, arms crossed over your chest.

“You wanted to see me?” your voice was more venomous than perhaps you’d intended and Changmin winced, sitting up a bit.

“I think we should talk.”

“About what?”

“Us.” There was a pregnant pause and you motioned for him to continue speaking. “I think my reasoning for this relationship has changed.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, confused. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean…” he trailed off, sighing. “I don’t want to get back with Gen anymore.”

“So, you want to stop all this.”

“Well, yes…but no! I don’t want to stop us, just the fake part of us.”

You blinked, shaking your head in disbelief. What did he mean he wanted to end the fake part of you? Had you heard that right?

“Are you…are you sure?”

Changmin laughed softly, nodding. “Look, I’m not happy with the way this relationship started, but these past few months have been amazing. You’re funny and smart and gorgeous and I like watching those dumb romance movies with you and going out to eat and that night at Chanhee’s party when I was driving you home I looked over at you I realised that I didn’t really care if Gen was jealous of us, but I cared about how you felt. And on the bus on the way here, I just…I wanted you to feel safe and be happy and I wanted to be the cause of that. I want you y/n and if you don’t want me then that’s fine, I just had to tell you.”

You chewed at your lip, processing what Changmin had just told you. But even with your own reservations you couldn’t help the way your heart was thumping against your chest almost threatening to come out of your mouth.

“You…you mean all of that?”

“Of course I do.”

You gave him a small, soft smile. “I’d like that too, for us to be real I mean.”

“You do?” Changmin perked up a bit and his eagerness made you laugh softly.

“Yeah, I do.” You smile brightened and you shivered as a gust of cold air blew through the area. Changmin’s smile turned into a mischievous grin. He leaned back in the hot tub, spreading his legs invitingly and eyes trailing up your swimsuit-clad figure.

“Then do you want to join me?”

You felt hot under his gaze and blinked at him, not completely registering what he was saying, eyes too focused on the way his legs were spread, inviting you in. “Wh-what?”

“I’m just saying…” Changmin grinned “why would you be standing over there in the cold when you could be here? In this lovely hot tub.”

“Well I’m just…I don’t want to intrude.”

Changmin raised a questioning eyebrow “I invited you here didn’t I?”

“I suppose that’s true,” you rocked on your heels, arms still crossed over your chest.

“Then come over here.”

You nodded and felt your feet taking you over to Changmin.

What was the worst that could happen?

Changmin helped you into the hot tub, immediately pulling you into his lap. “This okay?”

“Yeah.” you nodded quickly, leaning into the touch of Changmin’s thumbs as he moved them across your face gently, as if mapping out the feel of it underneath his fingers. “Is it okay for you?”

“I wouldn’t have sat you here if it wasn’t,” he smiled, voice soft and brought his lips closer to yours. “Is it okay if I kiss you? I really want to kiss you.”

“Yes,” your voice was almost a whisper. “Please kiss me.”

Changmin let out a sigh of relief before brushing his lips with yours in a soft kiss, like he was testing the waters, seeing how you responded. When you responded well, he smiled against your lips before deepening the kiss, lips sliding against yours properly. The two of you spent some time just kissing, getting used to the feeling of each other’s lips and something which had been off limits up until five minutes ago. And Changmin was going to take full advantage of his desperation for you, pulling you so close to him that your chests and hips were flush against each other. The action made you gasp, breaking the kiss.

“Changmin.”

“Tell me if you want us to stop and I will, just say the word.”

You shook your head, looking at him like he was crazy. Why would you want him to stop? You repeated the question back to him and he laughed, hands beginning to make a light path down your face and underneath the water until they rested on your hips. “I don’t know. But I want you to be as comfortable as possible, I want you to know that if you don’t like anything, or anything is too much. You can tell me, and I’ll stop.”

“I trust you Changmin. And I promise, I’ll tell you if anything gets too much.”

Changmin smiled at that and brought your lips back down to his desperately, a little bit of water splashing out of the hot tub.

You could definitely get used to this.

“I promise I’ll call you when I get back to my place,” you laughed softly, letting Changmin squish your cheeks together as the two of you said goodbye to each other. The rest of the trip had been incredibly successful, for both you and Changmin and while you weren’t upset about no longer being in the freezing cold mountains, you had to admit that you would miss it.

“Good, I want to know you got home safe.” You rolled your eyes a little at Changmin’s dramatics and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’ll be fine you drama queen, I promise. Go have fun at Chanhee’s.”

Changmin smiled, leaning down to kiss you again before going to join Chanhee and Younghoon. Just as Changmin left your sight, Gen entered it and you almost audibly sighed. You opened your mouth to ask what she wanted but as your eyes landed on her wrist, specifically the scrunchie around it.

“What is that?”

Gen looked down at her wrist and gasped, looking back at you with a grin that was just too wide to be friendly. “Oh this? Changmin gave it to me. He visited me last night…”

You couldn’t even hear the rest of what Gen was saying, if she was even saying anything at all, all you could hear was white noise, and all you could see was red. How dare he, after that whole speech, after you had trusted him with your emotions, with your body. How could he do that to you? You pushed past Gen, marching over to where Changmin was standing with Chanhee and Younghoon, he smiled at you but it immediately faded after he saw the look on your face.

“How dare you Ji Changmin? You…I trusted you. And you,” you rubbed at the angry tears threatening from your eyes. “You went and saw her, even after everything you said. We’re through Changmin. Congratulations, now you can have everything you want,” You turned on your heel and stormed off, ignoring Changmin calling your name.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, both of your sisters were sat outside your dorm room when you arrived, they instantly noticed something was wrong and wrapped you up in a hug, bringing you inside.

“I can’t believe that asshole,” your older sister scoffed, your younger one agreeing.

“Me either, I thought he was really good for you.”

“Yeah well,” you sniffled. “Guess he wasn’t.”

Your older sister nodded, wrapping her arm around you. The three of you sat together for a while until the doorbell rang. You all looked at each other before making your way to the door, still wrapped in a hug, just one which was less tight than before. You gasped when you opened it, coming face to face with both Chan and Changmin.

“What…What are you doing here? Both of you?”

Changmin glared at Chan “I was about to ask the same question. Y/n, please let me explain the Gen thing, I didn’t go see her, she cornered me in the hall after I dropped you at your room and..” he trailed off at the shake of your head.

“You still gave her my scrunchie, my favourite scrunchie.”

“Really dude?” Changmin turned to face Chan as he spoke, glaring at him.

“No one asked for your opinion, seriously, why are you even here?”

“I came to finally talk to y/n about the letter and her feelings for me.”

“Sorry?” your older sister blinked, unwrapping her arms from around you. “You have feelings for Chan?”

“Not anymore, I used to though.”

“When him and I were together?” You looked away from your sister and she scoffed “Wow, some sister you are,” she turned on her heel, making her way into the guest bedroom, door slamming behind her. Chan looked shocked and Changmin looked like he was ready to punch something, namely Chan.

“You actually have feelings for this guy?” Changmin’s words were venomous and you shook your head.

“No, I used to. And why does it even matter? You and I aren’t together, you made it really clear that Gen will always be your number one priority.” Both Changmin and Chan made moves to speak again and you shook your head. “Please, just go, both of you.”

Chan nodded, defeated and left, Changmin looking at you one last time before doing the same.

How had everything become so messy?

“Hey, can we talk?”

Chan looked up from where he was sitting at your voice and nodded, moving over so that you could sit next to him. It had been a week since the ski trip and you had managed to patch things up with your older sister. Your younger sister had, unsurprisingly, revealed that she was the mysterious sender of your letters and now, it was your job to fix everything between you and both Chan and Changmin.

“What do you want to talk about?” Chan wasn’t looking at you, picking at the grass instead and you sighed.

“I’m really sorry about dragging you into all of this. You didn’t deserve it. I just,” you laughed a little bit. “I had liked you for a really long time, like a really long time. But when you started dating my sister I pushed all of those feelings down. When I found out the two of you had split, all those feelings came back and the only way I could think of dealing with them was to write it all out. I never meant for them to be sent but even so, I should have just explained what was happening instead of trying to run from you.”

There was a small silence before Chan spoke, looking at you as he did. “You should have just been honest with me, yes, but I don’t blame you. It must have felt like a betrayal to your sister to have feelings for me and you didn’t want to hurt her, I understand y/n.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do,” he smiled softly. “And I’m not upset about the letter being sent to me either, the way you write is incredibly beautiful, even if you don’t feel that way about me anymore, I’m happy knowing that there was a time where you did.”

“You’re way too nice to me Chan.”

“Nah,” he grinned. “I’m just your friend.”

“Speaking of, you think we could go back to being friends?”

“Of course,” he threw his arm around you, making you laugh. “So, what are you going to do about Changmin?”

“Is it bad if I say absolutely nothing?” Chan raised an eyebrow at you and you groaned. “I just…I really don’t know how he feels about me. It’s like, he says he wants to be with me and then goes and gives Gen my scrunchie.”

Chan hummed low “Do you think maybe you’re looking at this the wrong way?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he sighed. “Look I think he’s an asshole for the whole scrunchie thing, but also I don’t believe that he actively went out to see her. I mean, you know Gen, she’s like insanely possessive over him and she hates you because you are-were with him. Doesn’t it make sense that she’d twist events around to stir up trouble.”

“I mean yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Exactly, besides, Changmin’s been head over heels for you since you guys kissed at that party senior year.”

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow at Chan “Really?”

He nodded “Really. Honestly it used to make me a bit jealous, but I’ve seen the way you two are around each other, even when your relationship was fake, it wasn’t really.”

“So what do you think I should do?”

“I think you should go talk to him,” Chan gestured to where Changmin was walking across campus with some of his friends. “You both need to be on the same page.”

You nodded, standing up, “Thanks Chan.”

Chan smiled “that’s what friends are for. Now go get your man.” You nodded again, jogging down the hill to catch up with Changmin.

“Changmin wait!” he stopped at the sound of your voice and turned, looking incredibly confused.

“I thought you never wanted to speak to me again.” You shook your head at his words.

“I’m sorry for just jumping to conclusions about what happened to you and Gen. I should have known that she was just trying to stir up drama between us, but I let her get to me because I was insecure about your feelings for me.”

“Why would you be insecure about how I feel about you?”

“Are you kidding? Changmin you’re so popular on campus, everyone you’ve ever met likes you, you were dating Gen for crying out loud.”

“Yeah but she wasn’t you,” he took your hands in his. “Gen will never be you. She will never make me feel the way you do and I’m sorry that my actions haven’t reflected that. But I love you, I think I’ve loved you for longer than I realised.”

You swallowed hard “You love me?”

“Of course I love you, you’re y/n.”

You laughed a little bit, eyes misting with happy tears. “I love you too Changmin, but if we’re going to be together, then there are things we need to talk about, to work through before that.”

Changmin nodded “I know, and I’ll do that and I’ll wait however long I need to. I’ve been waiting for years, what’s a little more time?”

And as you leaned up to kiss him, for the first time, you didn’t feel worried about what other people were thinking as they saw the two of you.

Perhaps your letters were never supposed to make their way out of your hatbox and into the world, perhaps they were meant to stay as your secrets, locked up in your heart where no one else would ever be able to find them. Or perhaps they were supposed to be released. Maybe, after all this time, you needed to let go of those lost and long ago loves, to accept new ones into your life. You didn’t know what the original plan had been and you never would, nor did you care. Because the release of those letters had brought you a beautiful thing, one that not even a piece of pink paper could destroy. It had brought you a real love.

And that was more precious than any letter you had written before.

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ikeuverse · 2 years

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better than words | changmin

bawdyboyz series: tbz as one direction songs

tbz!changmin x fem!reader

gender: fluff with a little humor.

warnings: none in this story.

wc: 1814 words.

notes: hello you who waited for a story with changmin. i asked for a song that represented him and my friend leta said this… the plot itself was very quick to develop because I thought a lot about the two of them as a couple and they would be exactly like that. I hope you like it and, leta, not kill me for this.

✧ m.list ✧

Rain or shine, after a long and tiring day at the university and adding up the hours of mandatory internships, there you were. In Changmin's arms as you felt him stroke your hair and snuggle your body closer together with his. The so familiar smell of that room, the clean clothes and the cologne he wore after his shower was simply phenomenal. All mixed with the heat of the moment listening to the music in ambient sound in the box next to the bed, accompanied by the peaceful breaths of the two of you.

This had been happening every day since the last semester of the course, and it was good. It was just bad for neither of them to name what was happening. Or at least not know.

"Are you dating?" Jane had been your best friend since middle school and she knew you had some kind of feelings for Changmin, everyone around you knew but you couldn't answer.

That question was in the air for a long time until the last day of college.

The two of you continued to spend the end of days always together, in each other's beds until the next day when you woke up late and had breakfast on your way to campus. A somewhat delicious routine that had ended. Now you have become even more responsible adults and ready for the job market.

Did that mean not seeing Changmin anymore? It meant you would no longer feel his arms around your body or the ruffles he left in your hair just to watch you fall asleep.

Or, for him, didn't it mean having your smile more every morning? That sly good morning of yours because he woke you up like three times while leaving kisses all over your face. Oh, and those kisses you gave him after he dropped you off in front of your office. Your course was in the other building, but Changmin insisted on leaving you there. In your mind it was because he cared, but for him, more than that, it was because he kept your kiss as a memory all day until they got back to their dorms and did it all over again.

Why did both hearts feel sore from the empty feeling? Why was moving into an apartment and no longer being in the university dorm not so cool anymore?

“Come on man, cheer up” Hyunjae put an arm around Changmin's shoulder “Today is our welcome party to the new apartment and I called some people.”

“I'm excited, it's just-” Changmin sighed “I was an idiot.”

“Yes, you were” Hyunjae felt the weight of Changmin's hand on his arm, pulling away after complaining about the slap he had received “Ouch! Okay, why were you such an idiot?”

Changmin laughed at the others' super drama, sprawling his body further on the couch.

“I was with y/n for an entire semester and just missed the chance to say everything I feel.”

“Or missed the chance to make it official too, you guys were too long…”

“Hyunjae” he scolded.

“I'm serious, bro. You and she had a lot more than a semester” Changmin didn’t want to admit that his best friend was right“ Not to mention we all always asked what you two had and neither of you knew the answer.”

A moment of silence was enough for Hyunjae to utter a curse and get up from the couch.

"Thank me later, idiot."

"For what?"

It was Hyunjae's turn to remain silent and wave towards the hallways that led to the apartment's rooms.

Changmin didn't know he would see you at that party for few people. He didn't know that's what Hyunjae was referring to earlier when you entered the apartment carrying some bags and accompanied by some of your friends. One of them was almost Hyunjae's girlfriend, of course you would be together. Or it didn't even cross Changmin's mind he was so astonished after seeing you there.

That took a few minutes inside the bathroom staring at his own reflection and wondering what was the reason for so much nervousness.

“C'mon Changmin” he tried to encourage himself “You can do it, just… Well, just say what you feel.”

If it were that simple it would have happened a long time ago, but words couldn't form and his mind was pitch black. Changmin wanted to go to the apartment's balcony and shout so everyone could hear.

“Ji Changmin, will you be long?” he didn't even need to open the door to hear Hyunjae's voice full of irony on the other side of the door. He then took a deep breath and opened it, facing his friend smiling and holding a cup of drink “Are you ok?”

“Do I look okay?” he snapped.

“Man, just talk about your feelings. Or just go talk to her without looking scared to see her here in our apartment.”

"But I scared out" he whispered as he felt her body being pushed all the way down the hall to the huge room that held some people.

You weren't there, just Jacob with his guitar and a few people around trying to find a song that everyone knew to make the mood more pleasant. Changmin then decided to go to the very spacious balcony and his and Hyunjae's favorite place – who made them both choose that apartment – but you weren't there either. Kitchen was the only place besides the bedrooms. So Changmin decided to go there.

Slowly, as if his feet were almost glued to the floor until he entered the room. He was sure he would see you there.

“Hi Changmin” he loved Jane and how upbeat she was at any party, so it was easy to get a smile out of him with just one call.

“Hi Jane” she smiled back at him as the boy approached “Did you like the apartment?”

"It's beautiful!" she was sincere, she was really amazed by that space “For the first time you guys made the right choice together.”

“Hey” Changmin pretended to be offended, this drew a short laugh from you and Jane “In my defense all the wrong choices we've made so far have been alcohol induced… So I'm only going to drink water today.”

She falsely nodded seeing him walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water.

“Okay, and I'll go see what Jacob is playing… Y/n, you can get your drink now. See you around” typical of Jane to do this, as it was the first time Changmin was alone with you.

Maybe deep down he already knew that she would do this, so the excuse to get water was to postpone his departure and, thus, be able to call you to talk.

“I… well…” why so much nervousness? It was just Changmin in front of you, there was nothing you didn't know there.

“Want to go somewhere else?” he asked.

“That would be great” your smile made his heart race, but it would never be said aloud. Or at least not at that moment.

Chatting inside the apartment wouldn't be a bad idea, but everywhere was full of people and Changmin's room was the last place you wanted to go. There the nervousness would only get worse and, of course, the conversation would take another turn. Going down to the lobby of the building and walking down the street on that cool night was the best thing to do.

"So" the boy started walking beside him with his hands in his jeans pocket. You, in turn, crossed your arms avoiding bumping your hands or fiddling with your own fingers “Have you found a place too?”

“Yes” your answer was a little low, but he heard because of the proximity and not being so much noise on the street “Me and Jane are actually signing the papers. The apartment is about thirty minutes from here.”

"It's not too far, we can see each other more often then" he said so simply that he didn't even notice the way that sentence sounded. Only realizing after you stopped walking and he didn't see your figure next to him anymore. Changmin then swallowed, turning his body to look at you “I mean…”

"Well… We can."

He thought his heart was going to come out of his mouth or he might explode and run away. There was no way you could respond so easily. Or as Hyunjae always said, it was impossible not to respond. You two treated each other like couple more than Hyunjae and the girl he dated. Or even with Sangyeon and his girlfriend. You and Changmin were a couple, you just needed confirmation.

And it came without a single word, just Changmin's fingers touching your face before leaning his forehead against yours.

“I don't know how else to sum it up 'cause words ain't good enough” his gaze flitted with your eyes and your mouth, in which you kept your teeth slowly on your lower lip.

"What do you mean by that?"

“Better than words, but more than a feeling” he ran his thumb down your cheek, moving his hand down until it fit snugly around your neck “I don't know where I was in my head for never telling you anything while you lay with me every night…"

“Fear, maybe?” you shrugged your shoulders in uncertainty and tried to notice if he shared that too, because on your part, nothing was said out of sheer fear of hurting him or getting hurt too.

Changmin nodded in agreement, then sighed.

“How deep is your feeling, Changmin?” you closed your eyes when you felt his lips touch yours, but there was no kiss. Just the heat enveloping both their mouths as their breaths calmed just from being close to each other again.

Because that's what happened when you were together. It was better than any words said, because the two of you lived, you had each other, there was nothing more to say.

"God only knows, baby" he slowly sealed his lips on yours "You drive me crazy."

Your laugh was muffled by the beginning of the kiss, the one you looked for every night after you left college and he wasn't there anymore. That slow, emotional kiss that the two of you shared, that was visible and palpable, but left unsaid.

Out of fear, out of insecurity, for not wanting to lose each other. But there was never lack of encouragement from anyone around so you could be together.

"Someone like you, always be my baby" you whispered after he ended the kiss. Still with his body next to yours and your face close enough to hear Changmin whisper.

“Crazy in love with you” he pulled away enough that he could look into your eyes glistening and reflecting the moonlight that night. The night neither of them could forget.

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milkybonya · 2 years

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ix. house party (gone wrong!! not clickbait!)

°•.🎾 back to part viii. new crush confirmed?!

°•.🎾 masterlist

°•.🎾 next to part x. sus..

[💌: good morning from where i am right now! have an update~]

taglist: @semanticbias @sunoo-bby @baekhyuns-lipchain @sickvision @yogurteume @xavi-in-kpopland @lilyujin @lumixen @chewryy @jeonnyread @kyucix @alohajun @hursheys @ksunwooqt ♡ ask to be added!

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hcuyk · 28 days

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OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE

SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae

PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader

GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining

WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS : outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)

WORD COUNT ✧ 19k

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THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION

AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves

PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE

“Genuine question.”

“Shoot.”

“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”

Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center.

“Well, he is your boss.”

“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye.

“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.

“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”

Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support.

Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’

For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.

“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.

“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”

“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”

Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.

“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.

“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”

“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.

“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”

“Well yeah, but the—”

“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”

“That’s just how-”

“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.

“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”

“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.

You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.

You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.

“You.”

Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.

“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”

“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.

As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be.

“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”

“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.

Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.

“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”

Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.

“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”

“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.

“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”

“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.

“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”

“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.

“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.

“You’re not scared of me?”

And you keep falling for the bait.

“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.

Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away.

“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”

“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t call me that–”

“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”

What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.

Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism.

Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.

“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.

“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”

“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.

“Get a room—!”

“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”

“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared.

“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”

“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”

You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).

“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.

“And apparently horny too.”

“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in).

“Hello? I’m still here.”

“Look at that. He already misses me.”

“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.

“Ew.”

“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically.

“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”

“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”

“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”

He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance.

Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.

“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”

You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.

“Now why the hell do you think—”

“Zip it.”

Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.

Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.

“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”

“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.

“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.

The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.

“You can’t be serious.”

Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.

“You’re the one in denial.”

Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.

“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”

Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.

The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.

“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.

“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”

For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.

“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”

Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.

“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”

“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”

“It was a mistake, okay?”

“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.”

Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you.

All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.

“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”

“You’re still with him??”

“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”

And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.

“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”

“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”

“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”

“Again, none of your fucking business–”

“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”

“I am not going to repeat myself-”

“Can’t you just listen to what I-”

“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.

Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.

After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself.

“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”

Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better.

“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”

“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.

“It isn’t right—”

“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”

Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.

You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.

Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.

“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.

When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.

“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”

And with that, you left.

Kevin apologized to you the morning after.

He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.

According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.

Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.

But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain.

It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.

He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council.

Yet it all felt so different.

Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.

You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either.

There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same.

Then you would never have to see him in college.

Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate.

Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.

But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?

From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.

He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.

He knew when to stop.

Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?

“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”

“Huh?”

“Didn’t show up for a single class.”

Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.

“That’s not like him,” he replied.

“Yeah.”

“I wonder why.”

“I wonder too.”

After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.

“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.”

“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.”

You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.

Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.

“Why are you thinking about him?”

That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.

“What?”

“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”

“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”

Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.

“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”

“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.

“Y/N!”

You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.

She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you.

“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”

She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.

“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear.

“Your outfit’s really cute today.”

“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”

“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”

“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”

She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”

The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.

A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.

“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”

“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date.

“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”

You knew it.

Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.

“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?

“So you want me to do it?”

“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”

You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.

Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.

“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”

“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.

“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”

The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt.

“What?”

Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.

“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”

Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.

“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own.

When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.

“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.

There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own.

With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.

The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.

But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?

As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.

Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over.

Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.

You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him.

Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.

Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.

The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels.

“Nice try.”

You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.

Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this.

“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.

Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching.

“What do you mean?”

Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.

“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”

“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were.

Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you.

“What–?”

“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”

“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”

“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.

“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.

Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.

Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.

“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”

“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.

“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”

“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.

Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?

The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him.

As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own.

You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince.

After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.

Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting.

You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.

Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.

You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.

“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.

“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”

“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all.

“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.

And just like that, she continued running off.

You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.

Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.

When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.

Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.

So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.

Of course it was Hyunjae.

You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.

The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was.

You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.

Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice.

“You’re not even halfway yet?”

In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.

“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.

When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.

“What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago.

“You’re taking too long.”

“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.

And Hyunjae was totally judging.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Just go home.”

Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I can do it myself,” you explained.

“What are you even doing?”

“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.

“You’re struggling.”

“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.

“Let me do it.”

Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.

“You’re kidding.”

“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”

“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”

Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.

“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”

“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you.

“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.

“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.

Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.

Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.

“Hyunjae, I swear—”

“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.”

Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up.

You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.

By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.

As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.

Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes.

“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.

Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.

“Hey, baby!”

You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.

“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.

“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.

“Of course I was, baby.”

You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.

But then it fell.

Something felt off.

If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not.

Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.

Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in.

Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity.

All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.

It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different.

Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.

Except for one thing; your fury.

There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other.

Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra.

Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most.

Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.

The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.

It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.

Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low).

So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.

What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.

He wanted to burn.

Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?

He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night.

It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you.

At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him.

But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.

Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.

“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.

“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.

Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic.

With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night.

After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.

“Hello?”

With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.

“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you.

You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.

There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.

“I need a ride.”

Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.

Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.

He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare.

But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.

After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did.

He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.

“Drink up and find an Uber.”

“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.

“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.

“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"

Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?

But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you.

God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.

For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with.

It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing.

Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.

You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there.

In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.

He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car.

Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.

Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.

While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips.

Where did he even come from?

And why was he so quick to listen?

You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.

You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.

“Drive.”

Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”

The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel.

You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).

After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.

It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.

Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.

“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.

“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”

Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.

Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.

“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him.

You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen.

Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.

There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.

Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.

And your voice broke the silence.

“How long have you known?”

Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty.

His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.

“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”

Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.

Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.

Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.

But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.

“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.

The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner.

His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.

“How does tomorrow sound?”

Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.

At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye.

Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt.

Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil.

Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.

There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw.

It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.

The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.

Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend.

Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.

You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.

“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.

“I know, Jae.”

Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.

Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—

You laughed.

Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.

“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”

His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation.

“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”

You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?

It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth.

“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”

Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.

“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?

You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?

And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay.

You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.

Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.

Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever.

Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.

“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped.

“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.

Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.

“Please.”

Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better.

“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless.

You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.

“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”

Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround.

But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.

“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.

“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”

Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity.

But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?

Especially when he could have you right here, right now.

“You’re using me.”

Your expression didn’t falter.

“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.

“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”

“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.

“You love me, don’t you?”

His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.

His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.

“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”

There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.

He knew better.

“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan.

He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.

He knew better.

“You’re using me.”

You both knew better.

Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.

“And I say take advantage of it.”

Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.

Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement.

The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.

You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.

When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.

You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more.

After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.

“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over.

“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.

“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity.

Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.

Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.

You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable.

Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could.

Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back.

“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.

“But it’s true, no?”

“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.

You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.

The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.

He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.

You wanted to be his downfall.

Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.

“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”

“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.

And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.

Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all.

But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat.

Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.

He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.

“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?”

Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.

He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.

Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you.

“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”

“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.

“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.

You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.

“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.

But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him.

When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.

“Did I do this?”

His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly.

He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.

“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.

“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”

“A favor is a stretch—”

Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.

“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”

He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you.

Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.

“Jaehyun, please,” you begged.

He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin.

Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.

“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care.

“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”

Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night.

When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you.

“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were.

He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name.

As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust.

“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.”

The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.

Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.

“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”

There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.

And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.

Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion.

“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him.

“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear.

“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side.

“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat.

You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.

“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.

“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?”

You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.

“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.

He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.

“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”

The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.

“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”

You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move.

With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.

“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.

He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises.

“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back.

“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you.

“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.

“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole.

“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.

“Psychotic, just for my princess.”

Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.

“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless.

“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.

“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure.

Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be.

He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.

And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.

He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.

Oh, and there was the recording too.

While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.

“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.

You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.

“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?”

“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time.

Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.

“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”

He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.

“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”

Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.

“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”

Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.

Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.

He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.

“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming.

Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.

“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”

“Mine.”

You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.

Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder.

“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”

He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.

Maybe you were his.

OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]

NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ

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tinytinyblogs · 10 months

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Sunwoo As Your Boyfriend

Boyfriend

(n.) A person who 90% of the time annoy you, and 10% of the time makes you forget the 90%

The boyz masterlist here #1 #2

Sunwoo is the type of boyfriend who you can lean on. He is mature, smart, and knows how to take care of you. He is also romantic and will always make you feel special. He is always there for you. He is the first person you want to call when you have good news or bad news. He is always there to listen and to offer support. He is mature and responsible. He can handle anything that comes his way, and he always puts you first. He is smart and funny. He can make you laugh even when you are feeling down. He knows how to take care of you. He will cook for you, clean for you, and do whatever he can to make your life easier. He is romantic. He will surprise you with flowers, gifts, and thoughtful gestures. He always makes you feel special. He is always honest with you. He will never lie to you or betray your trust. He is supportive of your dreams. He will always encourage you to follow your dreams and to achieve your goals. He is patient and understanding. He knows that you are not perfect, and he will always be there for you, even when you make mistakes.

Sunwoo loves to fall asleep around you. He loves the feeling of being close to you and the warmth you give him. He also loves the feeling of being safe and secure in your arms. He likes to cuddle with you. He loves the feeling of your arms around him and your body against his. He likes you to hold his hand. He loves the feeling of your hand in his and it makes him feel connected to you. Sunwoo loves the feeling of not being alone. He feels safe and secure when he is with you, and he knows that he can always count on you.

Sunwoo would obviously take you on a beach date. He loves the beach so much, and going with you would be another level of happiness for him. He loves the feeling of the sand between his toes. He would love to walk hand-in-hand with you on the beach and feel the sand between his toes. He loves the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. He would love to sit on the beach with you and listen to the waves crashing against the shore. He loves the feeling of being close to you. He would love to cuddle with you on the beach and feel your warmth against his skin. Sunwoo would also love to do some activities with you on the beach. He might want to go swimming, build sandcastles, or just relax and enjoy the view. A beach date with Sunwoo would be a perfect day. He would be so happy to spend time with you in his favorite place.

When Sunwoo spots you in a crowded place, he will ignore everyone else and make a beeline for you. He will have a sweet smile on his face and he will give you the best hug he can muster. He will tell you how much he loves to see you and how happy he is to be with you. Sunwoo will tell you how much he loves to see you in a way that makes you feel special. He will tell you how beautiful you are and how much he enjoys spending time with you.

When you're with Sunwoo, you can't help but laugh. He has a way of making you feel comfortable and relaxed, and you can always be yourself around him. You both have a lot of similarities, so it's easy to understand each other. You love to play around and tell jokes, and you always have a good time together. You might make up silly songs or dances. You'll laugh so hard that your sides hurt. You might tell each other jokes that only you find funny. You'll laugh until you cry. Sunwoo makes your day full of happiness and fun. He always knows how to make you laugh, and he always knows how to make you feel special. You love spending time with him, and you know that you can always count on him to make you smile.

Sunwoo is not afraid to show you his broken side. He will let you know when he is feeling down, and he will let you know when he is struggling. He will cry in front of you, and he will tell you all of his problems. He knows that you will listen to him and that you will help him to feel better. He trusts you. He knows that you will not judge him, and he knows that you will not tell anyone else about his problems. He needs your help. He knows that he cannot solve his problems on his own, and he needs your support. He loves you. He wants to be able to be himself around you, and he wants you to see all of him, even the broken parts. Sunwoo loves all the attention you give him when he is feeling down. He loves the way you listen to him, and he loves the way you make him feel better. He knows that he can always count on you to be there for him, and he is grateful for your love and support. When you make Sunwoo feel better after a rough day, it makes you feel good too. You feel happy that you could help him, and you feel loved that he trusts you enough to share his problems with you. You know that you are making a difference in his life, and that is a great feeling. Being there for Sunwoo when he is feeling down is a privilege. It is a sign that he trusts you and loves you, and it is an opportunity to show him how much you care. If you are lucky enough to have Sunwoo in your life, cherish him and be there for him when he needs you.

Sunwoo loves to call you randomly just to remind you that he loves you. He doesn't care what time it is, he just wants to hear your voice and tell you how much he cares. Sunwoo's random calls are a sign of his love for you. He loves you so much that he can't help but tell you how he feels, even if it's in the middle of the night.

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zzoguri · 9 months

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of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ masterlist

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

general genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), slice of life, drinking, suggestive themes, so much platonic love in general, expect a lot of sentimental talks and bantering between changmin and reader, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a shithead (and a terrible wingman), sweet angel jacob with his SIGNATURE SMILE!!!, also he may not be unattainable after all???, too domestic (not for the faint of heart), light angst on jacob's end though (i'm sorry baby), kissing and poetic words both from reader and changmin, a lot of tearjerker moments

word count for official parts ➵ 72.5k words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @sungbeam @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel

playlist ➵ tongue tied by grouplove // supercut by lorde // falling behind by laufey // bad by wave to earth // ribs by lorde // bunk beds by dori valentine // bloom - bonus track by the paper kites // invisible string by taylor swift // apple pie by lizzy mcalpine // with you by seth arlan // love you twice by huh yunjin // captivated by iv of spades // i choose you by adam melchor // if there's nothing left... by niki // pancakes for dinner by lizzy mcalpine // around by niki // huwag kang matakot by reese lansangan // love. by wave to earth // old with you by grentperez // pasilyo by sunkissed lola //i <3 u by boy pablo // lucky by jazon mraz and colbie caillat // home by reese lansangan // sunny days by wave to earth

a/n ➵ hi everyone! welcome to the "of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going)" universe </3 making a series masterlist was long overdue tbh but surprise!! i don't plan on letting this pairing go easily, so i needed a proper way to have every part and drabble from this universe together!! i hope you guys enjoy this universe as much as i did writing it, and i hope you'll be seated for the little oneshots/drabbles that will come out. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

official parts ➵ one

➵ two

you expect that spending time with your crush will only have you falling harder for him. yet, you find yourself unsure of ever having a relationship with him. you need time to sort through what you want with jacob, but a trip back to cheongju for the winter break only brings you newfound emotions toward changmin.

➵ three

now face-to-face with your newfound affection towards changmin, you struggle to determine whether this is platonic or romantic in nature. but with time, you realize that it is not so bad to be in love with your best friend after all.

drabbles/one shots ➵ side-by-side bylines

when you first meet ji changmin, you note him as the intimidating friend of kim sunwoo. but when you are tasked to work with him in your high school's publication, you learn that he is not so bad after all. (in other words, how you became friends with changmin)

➵ used-up cotton pads

in every party, your best friend never fails to take care of you. (in other words, how changmin makes sure to take off your makeup before going to sleep)

➵ tossed-up bouquets and unworn heels

hanhee and byungho are finally getting married, and you and changmin are left with the duty to make sure everything is in order. (in other words, you cannot help but wonder how married life would turn out for you two)

➵ from start to end

to wake up in changmin's embrace means to go to sleep in his arms as well. (in other words, your domestic life with the preschool teacher | sort of an epilogue)

#zzoguri works #deoboyznet #kflixnet #bjnet #k-labels #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz x reader #changmin x reader #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin fluff #the boyz fluff #q x reader #kyu x reader #of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going)

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slytherinshua · 21 days

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SURPRISE !

genre. fluff. warnings. kissing. changmin w glasses skdjks??? pairing. changmin x fem!reader. wc. 553. request. no. a/n. changmin w his black glasses like in the babydoll stage actually DESTROYS me like wtf i need him...

A flurry of excitement filled your stomach as you peaked around the corner of the building you were hiding behind and saw your boyfriend standing with his back to you. You hadn’t seen him for months, and he didn’t know you had flown out secretly with the help of Chanhee to surprise him. He was talking about something with Eric, laughing at something he had said. You couldn’t see his face, but you could imagine that the dimples you loved so much were displayed.

Eric made eye contact with you, and you gave him a quick thumbs up— the signal you had both agreed on for when you were ready. You heard him bringing up an excuse of having to go to the bathroom, and dip back into the restaurant. Changmin leaned his shoulder against the wall, still with his back turned to you, and took out his phone to type something.

You felt your own phone buzz in your back pocket and bit back a smile. Of course you would be the first person he texted. You ignored the message, and silently crept closer, being as stealthy as you could so he wouldn’t be able to hear you.

Once you got close enough, you reached out and grabbed his thick black glasses from his face, pulling them off easily with a giggle. Changmin gasped in shock, brain not processing what had happened until he turned around in a rush and saw your smug face and your hand held up high with his glasses clutched between your fingers.

“Y/n! Give them back!” He laughed, reaching forward to grab them, but you held them just out of reach of him.

“They’re mine now!” You said, satisfied as you slipped them onto your face while your boyfriend watched in shock. It didn’t take long for his brain to finally process that you had been away from him for months and you weren’t supposed to be in front of him now, except you were.

“How did you-” His jaw dropped again in shock and he reached out to touch you, as if to check if you were actually real or not. Upon finding that you were actually standing in front of him, his body seemed to act faster than his brain.

He pushed you against the wall, closing you in with his hands on your shoulders. His lips were entangled with yours before another second could pass, and all you could do was sigh and kiss him back eagerly, hands finding their home in his dark hair. He had cut it while you were away, and while you had seen pictures, feeling it underneath your own fingertips felt different.

“Missed you too.” You giggled once he pulled away, still holding you close up against the wall. You took off the glasses you had stolen from him and carefully placed them back onto his face, kissing his nose after.

“You should’ve told me you were coming. I would’ve gotten you flowers or something.” He mumbled with a pout.

“That would’ve ruined the surprise.” You argued.

“I missed you so much.” He said, sounding relieved that you were back in his arms. He hugged you to his chest, breathing in your perfume and holding you like it was the last time he would ever be able to.

↳ the boyz taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @blossominghunnie,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,,

@lecheugo,, @seunghancore

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stealanity · 3 months

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playlist one , the boyz ( cch to src ) :

⠀

ꕤ choi chanhee ,

the so-called boyfriend ( smau , hiatus )

better

yarrow

cry for me

strawberry flavor

⠀

[ 8:42pm ]

[ 10:42pm ]

[ 11:12pm ]

[ 5:25am ]

⠀

ꕤ ji changmin ,

you did well

lying eyes

first love

dream of you

dream of you ( part two )

⠀

[ 10:32pm ]

[ 2:24am ]

[ 6:17am ]

[ 6:14pm ]

⠀

ꕤ ju haknyeon ,

our secret little date

⠀

[ 12:24pm ]

[ 8:23pm ]

[ 9:36pm ]

⠀

ꕤ kim sunwoo ,

color palette ( smau , finished )

game over ( ft. eric , written serie , discontinued )

you're save

late night kiss

a to z being your boyfriend

old toy

new toy

ghost train

just friends

easier

unashamedly

⠀

[ 3:47am ]

[ 3:45am ]

[ 9:45pm ]

[ 6:38pm ]

[ 11:57pm ]

[ 11:25pm ]

⠀

ꕤ sohn eric ,

endless race ( smau , finished )

game over ( ft. sunwoo , written serie , discontinued )

age of love

broken night

never be you

roulette to your heart

because of you

black hair & red lipstick

all over

one bed

birthday present(s)

⠀

[ 3:22pm ]

[ 2:56pm ]

[ 2:24pm ]

[ 2:04am ]

⠀

ꕤ ot-eleven ,

sorry, for breaking your heart ( written serie , hiatus )

kiss or kill? ( one shot )

the boyz as the vamps' songs

october 19 : international kiss your crush day

kiss their s/o for the first time

their s/o asking them for one last kiss

their s/o having a habit of sitting on their lap

their s/o being drunk

their s/o cutting their hair short

their s/o holding hands when they're anxious / clingy

their crush not being touchy

always having an extra scrunchie for their s/o

watching a horror movie with their s/o

sharing a bed with their s/o for the first time

accidently outing their relationship on vlive

⠀

. . . link to hyung line !

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sungbeam · 1 year

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OFF THE RECORD ▷ PART ONE (EP1-8)

nonidol!ji changmin x fem!reader

everyone thinks changmin is cute and harmless, but you know that's not who he really is.

▷ genre, part warnings. e2l, childhood friends gone bad, (extra) slow burn, fluff, angst, mentions of childhood trauma and parental manipulation, arguing, bittersweet galore, nct ten is there for the sole purpose of being nosy like the rest of us or for being a 2nd male lead who knows!, swearing, hurt/comfort, ji changmin dancing. (need i go on), symptoms of panic/anxiety, a lot of non-tbz moments sorry i meant it when i said extra slow burn, pining haha...ha (very subtle)

▷ PART ONE WC. 18.5k

this is the third installment of the love in unity series! this can be read as a standalone, but i encourage u to read jacob and eric's storylines too! all prev and future yns will be referred to as _!yn ;) / otr part two

a/n: this was going to be a very quirky author's note, but it's not anymore bc i'm really mad at tumblr. pls enjoy :')

EPISODE ONE (PILOT): OFF THE CLOCK

"NIGHT, Yn!"

"Good night, Yn-ie."

"Make sure you get some rest, Yn-ah! Good luck with the report."

The door out of the laboratory building shuttered closed after your last coworkers and peers swept out to leave you to the white noise of the lights above your head and the cooling units. You were probably the only person crazy enough to still be chained to your lab workbench on a Friday night, especially when it was already six o'clock. Your stomach growled its complaints as you tucked a pen behind your ear with a sigh. There was probably a bag of shrimp chips in the break room snack stash, and you pushed your stool beneath the workbench to head into the break room.

Now that the laboratory was practically barren except for you, it wouldn't be a bad idea to take the reign of Kun's speaker…

The sound of your phone ringtone blared out loud from your pocket, and you scrambled to grab it with your other hand not occupied with shrimp chip crumb dust (after having washed your hands, of course). You put the call on speaker then deposited your phone onto the countertop so both hands could be used for eating. "Yo."

"You've been hanging around Mark too much," Yeri answered from the other end.

You snorted, covering your mouth for a moment, then replying, "Well good evening to you, too, my beloved. What's up?"

You could hear the muffled sounds of your friends from the other side of the phone. A car door slammed shut. "Hey-yo, is that Yn? Yn, what's up, my dude?"

"Mark, can you speak like a regular human?" That was Seungkwan. "Hi Yn-ie! We miss you, mwah!"

"Look, man. Me and Yn are homies, and this is literally just how I talk—"

The car door opened and Yeri must have taken initiative to get out of the car herself at this point. You laughed at her audible eye roll. "Okay, now that you've heard what I have to deal with, will you tell me that you're coming to the dance draft show tonight?"

Your mood soured.

It wasn't that you didn't want to go for Yeri's sanity's sake, you just didn't want to go, period. What the performing arts called a rehearsal, they referred to as a "draft" stage, where they planned rough runs of acts for the showcase. It just so happened that the dance department was holding their draft show for people to sit-in to watch tonight; their final showcase would be held on the Friday night of finals week, which was only in a few weeks now.

(Why did they call it a "draft" stage instead of simply a "rehearsal"? Well, you had no clue, and you didn't have any plans to ask anyone who would know the answer.)

When you didn't immediately answer, you heard Yeri's grumble. "Don't nerd out on me, Miss Yn Ln."

You gasped. "Nerd out on you? I'm being responsible—"

"You're being a workaholic!"

You pursed your lips together and quickly rinsed your fingers of shrimp chip crumbs. "Fair. But I'm sorry, I'm not going."

A brief pause. Then, the sigh. "Okay. That's okay," she said. "Wanna meet us for dinner afterwards at least?"

Your stomach grumbled, right on cue. It wasn't loud enough for Yeri to hear on the other end, but the timing made you laugh to yourself. "Definitely."

There was a smile in your friend's voice. "Cool! I'll text you details once we figure out what's happening. In the mean—" her voice was interrupted by the sound of muffled yelling on the other side, and Yeri pulled her mouth away from the phone so she could screech at Seungkwan, Mark, and now, Kim Jungwoo, to be quiet and put their seatbelts on. You heard vaguely about Jungwoo being late for his call time, and you were not at all surprised. She returned to the phone with a grumble. "You're really leaving me with the kids, Yn?"

You giggled. "Sorry, Yeri. I'll pay for your dinner."

"Deal. See you soon, babe."

"See ya, love!"

When the phone call ended, you realized just how thick the silence fell around you. It settled like a blanket over your senses, and it all became a bit overwhelming, especially after such a loud phone call.

You sighed, putting the shrimp chips back in the snack stash. You might as well go find where Kun hid his speaker to fill the silence then.

— ✶

People were yelling. And tripping. And crying.

In retrospect, this constituted as a normal backstage environment for something like a finals showcase draft rehearsal. It was hardly even a rehearsal, but more so a sneak peek showcase. There were people in the audience, after all.

Ji Changmin would know. This would be his third winter draft show out of his three years here in university. There were always showcases at the end of each quarter, but the winter show wielded the title of most anticipated. With the cold and rainy weather keeping most people indoors, it allowed for a larger crowd to come flocking toward said indoor modes of entertainment. Thus, the winter showcase and all of its hype.

Changmin lingered in his little corner of the backstage area, calmly stretching out his lanky limbs while chaos erupted all around him. He had two acts this time around—a duet with Lee Juyeon, as well as a solo performance. It had been enough to keep him busy for the quarter, among his other classes.

"—Jungwoo, you're late!"

He raised his head at the sound of Lee Minho’s voice from across the room, the dirty blond sending a deadpanned glare at the man in question. Kim Jungwoo’s eyes were wide with doe-like innocence as he made his way toward his friend, his posse following behind and taking in the chaos with amused awe. Changmin could easily recognize those present—Kim Yeri, Mark Lee, and Boo Seungkwan.

He turned his head away; it wasn’t his business, and he had much bigger things to worry about.

He raised his hands to his neck to put his headphones over his ears, but paused when he caught a few more echoes of their conversation.

“ — sorry Minho, but you know I can’t resist getting a free carpool ride,” Jungwoo said while setting his duffle bag in the corner and swiftly joining Minho in stretches. If Changmin was a hard ass when it came to dance and schedules, Minho was much worse. But Changmin respected him a lot, especially in a craft like dance and performance—he saw him as an equal.

A sigh from Minho. “Yeah, yeah. Poor Yeri.”

Yeri huffed, her hands shooting up into the air. “Thank you!”

Minho folded his arms over his chest as he stood up straight to stand next to Yeri as the two of them absentmindedly watched Jungwoo fold himself in two to stretch his long legs out. “Huh, no Yn tonight?”

Changmin didn’t know why he was still listening. He slowly lowered his headphones back to their position around his neck, then resumed stretching out his hamstrings. He could wait a couple more minutes before getting into his choreography…

“You know you’re not gonna see her anywhere near this place,” Yeri said with a pointed look. Changmin held back a retort, or even a snort. “Wanna get dinner with us tonight? She’s coming to meet us after the show.”

“Ah, I’d love to, but I promised Jisung I’d swing by the studio afterwards. Hey, have you met Ten yet? You should ask…”

Changmin decided that this was an appropriate moment to tune out. He swiftly donned his headphones and reached for his phone hidden in the pile of his duffle bag and jackets in the corner. He didn’t even know why he listened in when your friends brought you up. Why were you even still connected to the dance and performing arts department people anyway? He huffed, rolling his eyes with a small shake of his head. It wasn’t like you wanted to be connected to dance anyway. So why give him a constant reminder of your existence and the past you shared—

“Changminnie!” Juyeon appeared in front of him, waving to him with that goofy smile to get his attention.

Changmin broke into a smile as he shifted one side of his headphones from his ear. “Hey. Wanna go over some of the routine?”

Juyeon nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready. I was trying to get your attention, but I think you were just occupied.”

Whoops. Changmin flicked his wrist as he followed Juyeon down the hallway to a more private place to practice with his friend. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking of something.”

“Oh, okay,” Juyeon ducked his head into an empty dressing room in the back hallway, beckoning Changmin to follow him in. “Nothing to worry about though? You can talk to me; no judgment.”

Changmin chuckled and closed the door behind him. “Nah, nothing important. Let’s just focus on the performance.” Anything involving you? Definitely not important anymore.

— ✶

Late February brought the cold, bitter winds of night to the university, so the trek all the way across campus from the laboratory buildings to the performing arts hall was a hellish one. You kept your head tucked into the puffy collar of your puffer jacket, hands stuffed into your pockets, a happy tune blasting in your ears to keep you going all the way up the road. It was around nine o’clock by the time you made it to the front of the performing arts hall, and you could already see the sea of people meandering outside its doors post-draft show.

You shivered and pulled your phone out from your pocket to see where your friends were waiting for you.

“Yn-ie!”

Your head lifted and you grinned, waving your hand at Seungkwan who was making his way over to you. “Hi Kwannie,” you greeted and wrapped your arms around him in a warm embrace.

When you’d pulled away, Seungkwan made a face as he shuddered. “Jesus, it’s cold. I should have brought a scarf or something. Did you walk here?”

You began to nod, but he tsked. “Aish, Yn. You should’ve called! No one should have to walk in this torturous cold.”

You laughed. “It’s no big deal. We’re about to go get some hot food, so it’s cool.”

“We might have to wait for a little longer.” Both you and Seungkwan turned toward Yeri, Mark, and Jungwoo who were walking over. Jungwoo had a sweatband holding his bangs out of his face and his duffle slung over his shoulder. He had his jacket draped over his arm; he was probably warm from the showcase. “We’re waiting on Ten to finish up.”

“Hi Jungwoo,” you greeted him, and the man returned the expression with a side hug. You furrowed your brows. “Who’s Ten?’’

Mark replied with a sniffle from the cold, “Oh, he’s a new exchange student! Well, he was originally admitted here, but he went abroad for a year. He's with the NCT frat. Super cool, super funny. He’s great at dance though.”

“I think you’ll vibe with him, Yn,” Yeri chimed in. “He’s asking a couple people for their opinion on a few parts of his routine, so I think he’ll be out soon.”

You nodded in understanding. You didn’t mind waiting, but you hoped what Yeri said about him was true. Hopefully you did get along with him, because you were honestly far too tired to forcefully play nice. You were hoping for a chill night anyway. Then again, as long as you could avoid a certain someone tonight, this would turn out to be a chill night in general.

You and your friends chatted for a few minutes only before Jungwoo caught someone’s eyes from behind you, Yeri, and Mark. He brightened. “Ten! Ten, over here!”

You all swiveled.

Ten was just as lean and lithe as Jungwoo was, but with black bangs, a pair of round spectacles hanging from the collar of his white T-shirt, and a cute smile on his face. You and he made brief eye contact before Jungwoo was hopping on the balls of his feet to greet him.

Jungwoo slung an arm around Ten’s shoulders as he brought him over to the group. “Yn, this is Ten Lee. Ten, this is Yn-ie—the friend we mentioned earlier.”

Your eyes widened slightly. “Why was I mentioned?” You laughed nervously.

Ten flashed you a boyish kind of smile. “Oh, it was nothing; don’t worry. It’s nice to meet you though.”

Your heart didn't slow at his assurance. “Ah, okay then. Uh, nice to meet you, too!”

“Did you get your routine settled?” Seungkwan asked as the lot of you began to move in one, loose blob toward Yeri’s car. (How all of you would manage to fit, that was something you mentally were trying to figure out. In Yeri’s tiny sedan, you might have to squish four people into the back seat.)

Ten nodded enthusiastically. “Yup, it’s all sorted. Minho and Changmin were really helpful with their comments.”

You felt the people around you freeze at the mention of Changmin’s name. You stiffened as well, but tried to force the strange feeling to go away. Your friends knew the drill, too, but you saw the way they glanced at you from their periphery.

Ten was smart, you realized, when his head tilted at all of your reactions.

Time for damage control. “That’s—that’s good!” Mark’s voice cracked and coughed to clear it. “I mean, Minho’s always been really attentive to details and stuff. I think he was almost recruited to become an idol or something like that…”

Ten pursed his lips, as if silently saying, ‘I’m not buying this bull’. You decided to just… do it. “Changmin’s a great dancer, too,” you said, and everyone shot disbelieving glances your way, but you could already see how Ten was grasping onto everything you were saying. You forced a neutral tone into the way you spoke, forced yourself not to let the bitterness seep through. No one deserved to fall victim to the feelings that were only meant for one Ji Changmin. “I’m glad he helped you out. He’s really good at sharp movements and isolations.”

“Oh, do you dance, Yn?” Ten piped up with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Ruh roh,” you heard Seungkwan murmur, and he shuffled away from you to go to the other side of Yeri’s car.

Maybe you purposefully let him see right through you. “Not really. It was a long time ago.”

You and Ten held eye contact, the silent tension like communication passed between the two of you—this was personal, but Ten could figure out that there was more to the story. It was odd though; the way he didn’t fear prodding just a little bit. You didn’t know why you were letting yourself feed him more bait, but Yeri was hollering for the two of you to squeeze into the backseat, and you snapped out of it.

Weird…

Ten held the backseat door open for you. “Looking forward to getting to know you, Yn,” he said pleasantly.

Your eyes narrowed slightly as you slipped into the backseat. “Same to you…”

EPISODE TWO: OFF THE TABLE

YOUR curiosity won you out.

In fact, it won you over so much that you agreed to get coffee with Ten Saturday afternoon—with Mark and Yeri, of course. The four of you had coordinated stopping by one of the coffee shops in the shopping mall just down the hill from the university to hang out and destress a little from the incoming second wave of STEM midterms. Well, you needed to destress. Mark was in communications, Yeri in psychology, and Ten was… what was Ten’s major again?

“Foreign affairs,” he answered before lifting the straw of his iced americano to his lips. “Lots of foreign language classes and politics and history. Politics and capitalism classes are not my favorite, but all the cultural courses on campus are really great.”

You bobbed your head, propping your chin onto your palm. You sat across from him at one of high tables in the cafe; Mark and Yeri’s stools were barren, save for the belongings they left for you and Ten to watch, while they literally sprinted across the mall to the grocery store because they forgot they were supposed to bring booze to the NCT-RVE joint alumni homecoming tonight. You probably weren’t going to go just because social energy came in short supply these days, but you promised to send a card for your friends in RVE.

“I can imagine,” you commented. “I took a really neat course on African tribes and culture in freshman year, and I miss my professor a lot. I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I joined his study abroad program in Ghana instead of staying here.”

Ten’s head did the tilt thing again, the one you recognized from last night as something he did when he was intrigued. “That does sound really cool. What made you stay?”

Where do I even begin? “My major,” you replied simply. It wasn’t really a lie—not entirely a lie. You sipped on your latte, a faraway look in your eyes. “I was so set on a plan that I guess I got nervous about the unknown should I have gone on that trip.”

“Mm, I understand.” He had taken on a softer look now, something more akin to empathy. “It is a little scary, but while I was in Indonesia, I realized I wouldn’t have traded such an experience for anything else."

You set your cup down. "Have you always wanted to dabble in global affairs?"

"Uh, I'm not sure," he said, head tilted upward with a scrunch in his nose. He nudged his glasses up the smooth slope of his sculpted nose. "I was kind of put in a situation where I had to learn a lot of new languages, and I luckily turned out to be pretty good at picking up on them."

"Wow, that's really cool," you chuckled. A talent you definitely envied. And it seemed like Ten had made the decision to pursue this future of his on his own. You wished you could say the same.

From the counter of the café, you heard one of the workers call out your order number for cinnamon rolls, fresh from the oven.

You began to slip off your stool, and Ten spoke up, "Oh, I can totally go get those."

"It's no problem," you chirped, "I'm already down anyway." You were swift to scurry over to the counter and pick up your table's tray of cinnamon rolls with a smile at the worker in deep gratitude. The thick, warm sweetness wafted into your nose, and you inhaled the delights with a blissful grin.

However, as you turned to head back to the table, you halted abruptly, nearly knocking the plates on the tray into each other.

There, standing next to your table and chatting with Ten, were Ji Changmin and Choi Chanhee.

Great.

The sweet dessert smell soured and tasted like acid on your tongue. Bitter, like the taste of hot coffee straight from the pot. You schooled your face into neutrality, but there was no way all of the uncomfortableness could stay away.

You made your way over; the tray was getting heavy.

"—actually here with Yn, Mark, and Yeri—" Ten was pointing your way and you had to control your urge to hide.

Changmin and Chanhee's heads turned in sync, but only Changmin's eyes narrowed at the sight of you. You returned the expression wholeheartedly.

Chanhee held his breath, muttering a "Yikes" under his breath, while Ten observed the interaction with slightly parted lips. Huh.

"Ji."

"Ln."

You deposited the tray onto the table and your biceps sighed in relief. Those four cinnamon rolls truly were quite hefty on their own.

You could still feel Changmin’s eyes on you as you slid onto the stool across from Ten. “Something you’d like to say to me?” You addressed him with ill-suppressed snark.

Changmin’s eyes narrowed. “Nothing that you’ll take into importance anyway. Just didn’t think you would ever hang out with someone from the dance department.”

“Ten’s got a life outside of dance, Changmin,” you replied. You flashed him a thin-lipped smile. “He gets it.”

“And you’re so much better than me for having a so-called life,” he rolled his eyes. “You know, some people are just really passionate about dance—something you seem to still not understand.”

“I really don’t think you want me to bring up the trove of things you don’t understand—”

Chanhee subtly moved over to Ten’s side as the two of them observed the sparring match between you and Changmin. A sigh fell from his lips, and his eyebrows raised up all the way to his pink-dyed hairline.

Ten had taken one of the plates of cinnamon buns in front of him, silently offering Chanhee some. The latter refused, and Ten began to peel away one of the sultry, sweet dough layers. “Is this… normal?” He asked Chanhee under his breath, motioning to the still-bickering couple across from them.

Chanhee snorted. “It’s their mating call.”

It seemed he had said those four words loud enough to catch yours and Changmin’s attention. A miracle, indeed.

“Ew,” both you and Changmin immediately grimaced at Chanhee. Then you looked at one another with a greater degree of disgust. “Stop copying me!”

…Or, less so a miracle, but rather, a tragedy.

Chanhee let out a haggard sigh, eyes sullen to a deadpan. “One of the few things the two of you will ever agree on.”

“The last thing we’ll ever agree on,” Changmin grumbled as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “C’mon Chanhee. We should probably order before JC!Yn and Kei finish loading up the car.”

Changmin was already making his way over to the cashier when Ten managed to get in a final question, “Are you guys coming to the NCT-RVE homecoming tonight?”

“Sure—”

“No.”

Chanhee sent Ten an apologetic look for Changmin’s brusque answer. “Sorry about him. We were thinking of it, but he might be practicing with Juyeon tonight. See you later, Ten—and Yn!” He chased after Changmin, ambushing his friend by practically leaping onto his back and then smacking his shoulder.

Now that Changmin was away from you, the red in your vision had begun to clear away, and you finally remembered the set of delicious cinnamon rolls waiting for you.

Ten propped his cheek against his fist. “So… you and Changmin…”

You made a sour face as you cut off a slice of your cinnamon roll. “What about the gremlin?” You asked. As soon as the buttery, sweet delight hit your tongue, you felt your body lighten and you did a little happy dance in your seat.

Ten chuckled at your behavior. “Lovers gone wrong?”

You choked on the bite.

Your new friend’s eyes widened comically to the size of saucers as he literally pounced across the table to pat your back. “Shit—sorry, Yn. I probably should’ve waited for you to finish swallowing, huh?” He winced when you’d managed to breathe correctly and washed the bite of food down with a sip of coffee. He returned to his perch, letting you recover while he talked through his thoughts. “I don’t mean to pry—actually—” he paused, reconsidering, “—I do mean to pry. Sorry, I’m kind of a sucker for this kind of stuff.”

One of your eyes squinted at him as you massaged your throat. “Yeah, I kind of figured.”

He beamed at you boyishly, the kind of expression that almost had your defenses slipping. Almost. Ten was one slippery fellow. For some reason, you kind of respected him for being upfront about the nosiness, and if you were being honest, if this drama wasn’t yours, you would also be curious about the whole thing.

“Can’t help myself sometimes,” he confessed with a mere shrug. “You don’t owe an explanation or backstory, of course.”

You sucked in a breath, opting to hold back on eating your pastry until you and Ten were done with this topic. “I’m just going to say that Changmin and I were not ‘lovers gone wrong’,” you said, body shuddering.

“Mm,” he hummed. His eyes wandered behind you and over your head, swiftly followed by the action of waving to Changmin and Chanhee on their way out of the cafe. “It’s just interesting to me. Didn’t you just advocate for him the other night at the draft show?”

That rang a bell, unfortunately. “It’s complicated.”

Ten pressed his mouth into a saccharine smile. “I can imagine.”

EPISODE THREE: OFF THE PHONE

THERE was an avid knocking at the laboratory door, usually done by those who didn’t actually work at this specific lab. This lab area was usually reserved for upperclassmen and graduate students and their work.

“Yn-ie, could you get the door, please?” You heard Kun called out to you from his office. It wasn’t just the two of you tonight, but rather, just a few others you didn’t know as well as you did Kun. He often worked late hours like you did, always overworking himself even more as a fresh grad student. You, on the other hand, were trying to finish up this one research paper resulting from last quarter’s research project. If you were lucky, you would be able to send it off to be peer reviewed soon.

You slipped out from behind your workbench and maneuvered the maze of workbenches to head out into the corridor. Exhaustion wore at your bones from having such a long day, but you really did need to get some productive work done so you could focus specifically on your midterms approaching at the end of this week and the beginning of the following week.

However, as you turned the corner into the corridor, you nearly missed your footing. At the end of the hallway where the glass door to the outside was, you found yourself identifying one Ji Changmin and his friend, someone you didn’t recognize. The latter wore a gray hoodie beneath a black puffer vest, and he reacted the opposite to how Changmin did when they caught sight of you.

“Hey! Could you open the door, please?” Not-Changmin hollered through the glass, furiously shaking his sweater-pawed hand down at the door handle.

You didn’t want to. God, you really didn’t want to.

Changmin stared you down, as if daring you to come closer.

You opened the door, and let the cool gust of late February air and two outsiders into the safety and warmth of the laboratory building.

Hoodie Guy shuddered violently to get the cold out of his system. “Jesus, it’s cold outside. Thanks,” he said to you. Then he nudged Changmin with his elbow, as if jolting the man into reality.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, words directed toward Changmin in particular.

His dark bangs were tucked beneath a black beanie with his pair of black headphones hanging around his neck. “You think I want to be here?”

His friend sent him a look, his eyes flickering between you and Changmin furiously until the pieces clicked into his mind. “Well, uh oh…” he muttered while turning away slightly to scratch his head. He gathered his wits then. “Uh, Yn, right?”

You perked up. “Yes.”

“Uh,” he drawled. “We’re actually here for Jacob Bae. You see, we told him we’d come pick him up to take him over to—”

“Is he here?” Changmin asked.

Your eyebrow shot upward. At least they were here for a proper reason. You crossed your arms over your chest, glancing back toward the main laboratory floor way down the hall. Man, the safe zone felt so far away. “He actually just left like, ten minutes ago. Sorry.” The apology was said to Changmin’s friend, the one who seemed to have been able to figure out who exactly you were to Changmin. Not that you were anything to him. And did Changmin just talk about you to all his friends or something—?

“Oh.”

Changmin tapped his friend with the back of his hand. “C’mon Sunwoo. We’ll just meet him over there.”

Sunwoo wrinkled his nose. “I just think it’s weird that he didn’t text us to let us know before we came over here.”

There was a pause and you could practically see the gears in Changmin’s head turning. You would have left them to their own company, but you technically weren’t allowed to leave unauthorized students alone.

It was strange seeing Changmin break into something akin to sheepishness. You saw the dimples appear in the apples of his cheeks as he cupped the back of his neck. “I might not have told him we were coming…”

Sunwoo’s eyes and mouth widened and he whacked his friend with the length of his hoodie sleeve. Changmin let out one of those hyena laughs that set off triggers in your mind. It’d been awhile since you heard that… “Hyung! You’re so unreliable sometimes, oh my god. Even Eric would have remembered to tell him!”

Changmin made a noise of dismissal, slinging an arm around his friend. “Ah, it’s fine. We’ll just meet him there—as you said.”

“Worst texter award goes to,” Sunwoo rolled his eyes.

“I guess some things never change.” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop yourself, and both Sunwoo and Changmin suddenly remembered that you were in the hallway with them. Sunwoo had perked up as if he were surprised you would even comment on their situation, but Changmin cut an unreadable expression your way. You didn’t want to read into it.

“You literally forgot to answer a text I sent for three days,” Changmin quipped.

Well, if he was going to play the back and forth game. “That was once out of how many other times,” you scoffed. “You refused to answer anyone’s texts in the mornings anyway, so don't get on my case about that.”

“He did that to you, too?!” Sunwoo cut in with fire behind his words.

You could’ve sworn you saw the slightest bit of blush grace Changmin’s cheekbones as you hid a laugh behind your hand. “He did that to everyone—”

“Hey, I’m better over call; you know that!” Changmin argued. “Sunwoo, you can’t even talk about being a bad texter. I have to hunt for you on discord sometimes to get a straight answer.”

Sunwoo groaned, “Yah! Whatever. It’s still better than your average three-business-day reply speed.”

Changmin stammered, “It is not an average of three business days.” If your ears were not deceiving you, Ji Changmin was whining. “It’s a couple hours at least.”

“A couple hours means half a day,” you said to Sunwoo.

Changmin whipped his attention back to you, finger jabbed accusingly in your direction. “Hey, missy! You always fell asleep on-call, even when you promised that you would stay up to help me study.”

You shook your head. “Not my fault! You know that I always fell asleep around midnight back then.”

“Well, back then—”

“Is everything okay out here?”

Everything in the corridor came to a stand still, and Changmin closed his mouth, mid-sentence. Kun had his head poking out of the door to the main floor, a crease pressed between his brows and right above the rim of his thin spectacles. He eyed the two non-laboratory students with a slight grimace. Of course, Kun was aware of who Changmin was. He could recognize him because of his famed performer reputation on campus, but he knew his history with you because you had spent far too many late nights here at the lab with things plaguing your mind. You and Kun both had a problem with trouble sleeping and being workaholics.

You turned slightly to Kun. “Yeah, everything’s okay, Kun-ge.”

He sent you an unimpressed look.

“We,” Changmin piped up as he urged Sunwoo to the door, “were just leaving.” The mirth and fire from the bickering just a few seconds ago had faded, and you could feel him slipping away.

Kun drummed his fingers along the doorframe, eyebrows shooting up for a second. “Oh-kay… Yn-ie, Ten says he’s right around the corner and asks if you want some company walking home.”

The door to the laboratory behind you was held open, and the night breeze brushed through your hair. When you looked back, you saw that Changmin had stalled in the door for a second. But, it had only been that second before he and his friend were gone.

“Oh.” You made your way over to Kun. “That’s really cool of him. I’d love that.” Some company on a late-night walk back to your apartment did not sound bad at all. You’d done plenty of trips on your own, but sometimes having even one person with you would have been nice.

Kun nodded, pursing his lips, as the two of you walked into the main lab together and toward his office off to the side. “Okay, I’ll let him know. You’re for sure okay though? That must have been… not nice, seeing Changmin here.”

You gave a stiff shrug, your hip leaning against the door of his office while Kun settled back at his desk. “It’s fine,” you said. To be honest, you weren’t even sure if that was a lie or not. You’d heard Changmin laugh for the first time in years. You’d seen the dimples in his cheeks, the sheepishness in his expression—you swallowed.

Once upon a time, you associated all of those things with something like happiness. Your happiness.

Kun fixed you with a pointed look. “If you need to talk.”

You gave a firm nod. “I know where to find you.”

He clicked his tongue, shooting you a finger gun, then shooed you off to finish your work and pack your things. Ten was just around the corner, after all.

EPISODE FOUR: OFF THE RECORD

CHANGMIN liked to think that he became nosy, and that he wasn't born this way. But ever since he overheard that Kun guy asking about Ten wanting to walk you home, he couldn't help but wonder…

He shook his head, brushing his hair out of his eyes and off his forehead, before those same bangs flopped back into their place. He walked back onto the main stage of the performing arts hall to the soundtrack of a hype playlist blasting from the ears of his headphones. As he made his way past groups and individuals doing their own thing, he absentmindedly searched for one person in particular.

Conveniently, he found Ten setting himself up right by Changmin's things. He was shouldering off his black puffer jacket, rolling the material up into a manageable ball to shove into his duffle bag.

"Hey," Changmin greeted, bending down slightly to grab his water bottle.

Ten straightened and flashed him a smile. "Hey."

It wouldn't be awkward would it? Probably not. Just be cool about it, Changmin. He smiled slightly, the dimples in his cheeks disarming his acquaintance. "I didn't know you and Yn were close."

Your name felt so… foreign, yet familiar, on his tongue. It was like tasting déjà vu, like eating a treat from childhood that had been associated with good feelings, but he couldn't decide if it was still as good as he remembered or a trick of his mind.

The mention of your name brought a jolt of energy to Ten's body and Changmin saw the man lean into the conversation. Curious… "Oh? Well, I mean—" he gave a shrug, "—she's really cool. She just seems like a good person to get to know, y'know? Why do you ask?"

Changmin couldn't tell how much he trusted the slight narrowing of Ten's feline eyes. There was no way you hadn't mentioned him to Ten at some point or another. To be honest, he didn't like the feeling of you still lingering in his head if he didn't linger in yours. It meant a myriad of things that he loathed to admit.

He let the feeling slide away, let his mouth tilt upward like his eyes to the spotlights in the ceiling. "Just be…" He shook his head. "Nothing. It's nothing." He flicked his wrist, as he spun his water bottle cap on tight. "You can forget about it."

Ten sent him a look that Changmin pointedly ignored.

Somewhere within the depths of the performing arts center, Changmin could hear the howling laughter of his friend Hyunjae as he most likely bugged his best friend out of her mind, both to her chagrin and her delight. That was another can of worms entirely.

Ten piped up as he settled onto the backstage floor while Changmin mentally went through some of the problem sets he had to review today. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you and Yn on such… uneven ground with each other?"

There it was. Changmin snorted. "Uneven ground? I don't even know if we're on the same ground."

"You're both really friendly people," Ten added, "so it just doesn't make sense to me."

Changmin pursed his lips. He never felt the need to divulge this stuff to anyone but his friends, but he didn't know what Ten already knew. He didn't know what you told him, but based on the fact that Ten wasn't looking at him the same way you did… Changmin scratched the back of his head and leaned his side against the wall to face him. "Something happened a long time ago. I guess we just both hold a grudge well."

Ten huffed a laugh in response. "Remind me never to get on your bad side then," he joked.

— ✶

There was a buzz about the university newspaper room. The Daily had only a handful of crew members onboard, mainly because it was so selective. Over the past few years that you had been apart of the staff, you and a few others had gradually loosened the reputation of the Daily's elitist interview process—there was still some level of intimidation that ensured the publication took on the hard workers and not those simply looking for an extracurricular to put on their resume though.

So when there was talk of a new staff member, everyone knew about it.

You let yourself in the door with a sigh, brushing the hair from your eyes held up with a random, blue claw clip you found on your bathroom sink. The bus had been late this morning because it broke down, but you luckily were able to make it to your lecture on time. You had run over here for a quick meeting that Kim Doyoung had summoned you for, no doubt about the new hire.

"Hey guys," you said as you passed by clusters of desks piled with copyedits and heads buried in monitor screens. The sounds of typing stopped briefly with each head you walked past:

"Yn!"

"Hi Yn!"

"Sup Yn—HEY! I just did my hair this morning!" Mark yelped, hands smoothing down the braids in his hair.

You giggled as you patted his head. "Your hair needs a break, Mark."

As you disappeared around the corner, you heard him shout back, "So do you, but you never hear me complaining!"

You rolled your eyes with an ill-concealed smile. The door to Doyoung's little editor in chief office was right down the hall next to the office for the sponsoring professor. As much as you and the others teased him about getting the "Boss man" office, he always complained to you about being on edge with the professor's office next door. You didn't quite understand since Professor Woo was almost never in his office anyway, but you supposed you could see.

Doyoung's door was open, and the fourth year's head perked up at the sound of your voice and nearing footsteps. He didn't even wait for you to knock or say hi, before beckoning you inside. "Yn, thank god you know how to hustle. Close the door on your way in. Thanks."

Your eyebrows shot up at the terseness in his tone, but didn't question him until you'd closed the door and settled into the chair opposite him. His desk, much like those outside, was covered in a sea of paper, with his laptop being the only land in sight. "What's up? You sound stressed."

He shot you a look over the rims of his thin glasses. "When am I not stressed?"

"Valid."

"Okay," he began with a sigh that made your concern rise just a bit more, "you know the situation with our performing arts review section, right?"

You nodded. "Of course."

The situation with the performing arts review section of the paper was inherently a mess. For a handful of years, the performing arts section was written under a pseudonym (lovingly dubbed Opera Glasses)—the identity of the reviewer was anonymous—which was a product of an incident a few years ago where a performer was unhappy with a review left by someone on the paper and came to ask, very unkindly, for a rewrite. Since then, the paper had been swallowed up by so much that finding a permanent writer or reviewer for the section became less and less of a priority.

When you joined the publishing team, it had been in the middle of freshman year when you were also putting your application out for research projects. Joining had felt like the right thing to do, as much as it was an act of rebellion against your mother and your childhood. They had asked if you knew anything about dance of all things.

And well, you did know.

You'd written one piece—one piece that was entirely you. It had been for one of the dancers just debuting at his first winter showcase. Since then, you couldn't stomach writing another one or watching another one.

You ghost wrote, you edited, you advised—but you stuck to putting your energy into covering the STEM-related sections of the paper now.

So Doyoung already knew your relationship with the performing arts review section. "Well," he cleared his throat, making a vague flourish with his hand, "I'm sure you already know that I just interviewed a new prospective recruit. I was wondering if you would be willing to take them under your wing and to show them the ropes."

Oh. That wasn't exactly what you expected him to say. Your heart kicked up for an entirely new reason, however. You'd always wanted to be someone's mentor. To be someone's older sister. "I mean, yeah. I'd love to," you stammered, a smile slowly curling onto your lips. "That would be really cool."

Doyoung sighed, his shoulders sinking in relief. "Thank you."

"But wait." You cocked your head to the side as you asked, "What does Opera Glasses have to do with this?"

"I want her to eventually take over for it," he explained. "She knows quite a bit about theater and music—little less about dance, though. I know that you have your issues with the dance department, but out of everyone here, you probably understand dance stuff the most. I just ask that you help her out a little with that, and maybe even introduce her to some of the people there so we can ease her in with interviews—"

You opened your mouth to interrupt him, but he sent you a pointed look. He continued, "Just hear me out, okay? If you're uncomfortable at all, you can back out. And you don't even have to back out right now or completely; maybe you could have Mark introduce her to Jungwoo for interviews, and you can just stick to the behind-the-scenes stuff."

Doyoung exhaled. "Okay, so what are your thoughts?"

You worried your bottom lip between your teeth. What did you think… What did you think?

Even the thought of stepping foot into a practice room made the yelling and screams echo in the caverns of your mind. But you'd missed them—missed the polished wood floors, the floor-to-ceiling mirrors, the people. God, you couldn't even stay away from the people if you tried, no matter how much you tried convincing yourself you could.

You weren't fooling anyone.

You swallowed. You'd always wanted to be a big sister.

What was the harm in giving this a try?

(Changmin. You'd probably run into Changmin a lot more often than if you didn't accept. But you could see him from that one night: the sheepishness, the dimples, the laugh. Why couldn't you get over that interaction?)

You mustered up your courage and straightened in your seat. "I'll still do it. When do we start?"

EPISODE FIVE: OFF THE MARK

IT turned out that Doyoung intended for you and your new recruit, Bae Sumin, to get started right away. With the winter showcase only a couple weeks away, it was imperative that the two of you dived right in.

"—so what made you interested in joining the team?" You asked, shoving your hands into your jacket pockets to hide signs of nervousness from your underclassman peer. The two of you were walking from the Daily's newsroom and over to the performing arts center. It was about a ten minute walk, but you figured that it would give you two the opportunity to get to know one another.

Sumin was a multimedia major, as you had been told earlier when the two of you just met for the first time in the entryway of the Daily newsroom. She was cute and well-dressed—she wore a pleated skirt and sweater with a white collar peeking through. Her smile was dazzling, and reminded you of someone who would do well on stage. No wonder she had theater and performing experience.

"Oh!" She shot you one of those dazzling smiles, her hand shooting up to shift the white, fluffy earmuffs seated over her head. "I actually had a cousin who came here and shared with me some of the Daily's earlier issues. She always said it was kind of competitive to get in, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try."

You bobbed your head. "That's really cool." A small laugh fell from your lips, "I'm glad you did try! Lots of people just assume they're gonna get turned away and they don't try at all, you know?"

Sumin hummed in understanding.

Something had settled nicely in your chest throughout this walk. Even if your past anxieties were beginning to bubble up to the surface at the sight of the nearing performing arts buildings, Sumin's easy conversation calmed you. It was one less thing to worry about.

Yesterday, when Doyoung had proposed this job for you, you had asked Mark to accompany you and Sumin to the arts buildings. He couldn't walk with you two, but he promised to meet you there. Now, you were kind of glad you got to have this bit of bonding time with her.

“I think Doyoung said that I should introduce you to a few people in particular,” you said offhandedly and pulled your phone out to check yours and Doyoung’s text thread.

Sumin did the same, most likely taking out any notes she had taken from Doyoung’s instructions. “Yeah, something like Lee Minho, Kim Jungwoo… the Hwang?—the Hwang siblings, uhm and Ji Changmin…?”

Your footing faltered for a second, and Sumin asked if you were all right, but you recovered quickly. You let out an embarrassed laugh, feeling heat crawl up your neck. Why in the world did his name catch you off guard like that? Maybe it was because you assumed Doyoung would just let you avoid Changmin, but realistically, if Sumin was going to do an interview with the dance department’s most prominent members, then there was no avoiding Changmin.

You just had to suck it up and be an adult about it.

It was three years ago… What was the big deal?

But as you moved to open the door to the backstage area for Sumin with your ID card, you felt your throat tighten in on itself. You forced a smile to your face as you let Sumin go in before you so you could turn your head out to inhale a large lungful of fresh air. Then, you ducked in after her.

The backstage corridors were as hustle n' bustle as you expected them to be. The lights were dim-looking from the black walls and floors marred with scuff marks from years upon years of use. It was an overwhelming tidal wave of sensory details—what, with the clashing sounds of chatter and music, the smell of some kind of polish (or maybe that was resin?), the warmth of energy in the air and all around you.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood like you could sense someone was coming this way.

You gestured down the opposite direction to Sumin. “Come on; I’m pretty sure they’re down this way.”

It was a curious thing, memory. You could recall late nights of catching the bus to these very practice rooms and backstage rooms from when you were in high school. Performing on the stage was a whole other experience in itself, and though part of you missed it, there were other feelings that dominated the hints of nostalgia now.

You could hear the chatter even clearer now, even if their words were muddled.

The door to one of the larger practice rooms were left ajar, and though you only peered in, you felt the warmth hit you like a wave. Your throat was closing up again—breathe—

“Hey,” you said into the room, catching quite a few eyes. From an initial scan, you determined that Changmin wasn’t amongst the crush of people socializing in here, and you couldn’t identify the feeling manifesting in the pit of your stomach.

Jungwoo was the first to bound over toward you, swiftly followed by Minho and Hyunjin, one of the Hwang siblings. “Yn-ie! I can’t believe you actually came. I thought Doyoung was joking.”

A smile made its way onto your lips and you accepted Jungwoo’s side hug. “Yeah, well Doyoung doesn’t joke around.”

“He really doesn’t,” Hyunjin said with a grimace. “He’s kind of scary, that one.”

“If you can survive Minho,” you said to him, “then you can survive Doyoung.”

Minho made a face at you. “What have I ever done to you, Yn?”

Nothing; this is just me trying to pretend I’m not seconds away from quivering like a leaf in the wind. You laughed. “Nothing yet. Guys, I'd like you to meet Sumin. She’s our new recruit at the Daily, and she’s gonna be the one conducting interviews for the winter showcase this year.”

Sumin didn’t need much prompting to smile and wave at your friends in that same charming way. “Hi, nice to meet you!”

The three dancers before you replied in kind. Jungwoo offered to introduce her to some of the others in the room, and before you knew it, she was swept away.

Hyunjin made a comment about needing to go check up on a friend of his, leaving you and Minho chatting to the side of the room.

“Wow,” Minho said offhandedly as the two of you watched Jungwoo and Sumin work their way around the room, “she’s a natural at this. Where’d Kim find this one?”

“She saw some of our older issues,” you replied. You watched as Sumin ignited a sort of brightness in every conversation she started. You struggled to swallow; now that you didn’t feel obligated to keep up appearances, especially in front of Sumin, your jitteriness was beginning to come on just a little stronger. You absentmindedly massaged your throat, willing it to loosen up.

Minho glanced over at you, his eyes catching your anxious actions. “Must have a lot of confidence in her if he’s throwing her straight into taking charge of interviews. How’re you holding up?” The latter was said lowly and under his breath in case someone just happened to be close enough to catch onto your conversation.

Minho didn’t know your history with the dance department as thoroughly as your close friends did, but it didn’t take a genius to see that you weren’t at your absolute best right now. You gave a stiff shrug. “I’m alright,” you managed to say.

He nodded, though it was probably more for your sake than him saying he believed you. “It’s funny,” he drawled, “one might think that by sending you here on behalf of the paper, that you were behind Opera Glasses.”

Now that, you could let out a genuine chuckle at.

Minho gauged your reaction but smiled to himself. He wasn’t one to really care for the drama and gossip side that came privy to the performing arts review section, but you couldn’t blame him if he was curious.

“That would be really stupid if that was the case,” you mused.

“It would be,” he agreed. “Is this a sign that this will be the end of Opera Glasses then? Finally a face to the name?”

You pursed your lips. “Actually, I’m not too sure what Doyoung will end up doing. I’m sure he’ll call for a board meeting to decide what the review’s fate will be, but it’s not exactly our top priority—”

Your voice and words trailed off as your eyes met a pair coming into the practice room. You and Changmin froze at the sight of one another, two deer caught in headlights, and you felt your heart palpitate violently in your chest. Your breath left your lungs—his expression was filled with surprise, until it morphed into something you couldn’t read.

“What are you doing here?” He deadpanned.

Minho’s eyebrows shot up. “You didn’t know Yn was stopping by? We all got the email from Director Lee, man.”

Changmin pressed his mouth together and it made the dimple in his cheek deepen. He looked you up and down, and he opened his mouth to say something else, but paused when you unconsciously brushed your thumb against the hollow of your throat. (Dear god, why couldn’t you breathe? Breathe, breathe, breathe—)

He seemed to lose whatever he was going to say. You swore the sharpness in his gaze softened.

But then his jaw tightened; you didn’t know why. “I didn’t think you’d actually show,” he muttered under his breath.

Ouch.

The words from his mouth pricked uncomfortably at the back of your mind. You found your voice again. “I’ll be gone before you know it,” you replied tersely.

Your response touched a nerve for him, too. He cut his attention to the rest of the practice room. “Where’s your new girl?”

“Over there,” you said, inclining your head across the room where Sumin and Hwang Yeji were currently swapping contact information. Something soared in your chest at the sight, but you couldn’t tell if it was pride or envy.

Without any additional prompting, you watched Changmin make his way toward Sumin and away from you. You didn’t realize you were holding in a breath until you finally exhaled—

“Yn! Sorry I’m late.” Mark bumbled into the practice room, wiping a drop of sweat from his forehead as he quite literally crashed against the wall next to you and Minho. He was panting and gasping for breath, and you and Minho couldn’t help but express your amusement.

“It’s all cool, dude,” you assured while patting his head.

“I should probably get back to it,” Minho said as he began walking away from you and Mark. “Nice to see you, Mark. Feel free to take a water bottle from the green room.”

Mark thumped his head against the wall with his eyes closed. “Thanks, man,” he huffed.

With a snicker under his breath, Minho went his separate way.

You gave Mark a moment to catch a breath or two, and you slid down next to him against the practice room wall. Folding your knees up against your chest, you copied Mark’s position with his head tilted back as you both inhaled through your nostrils and breathed out through slightly parted lips. While Mark might have been trying to get a moment of rest from (no doubt) running here from the bus stop, you were trying to steady yourself.

The anxiety was starting to make your hands feel numb cold.

“You don’t have to stay, y’know,” came Mark’s voice, followed by the back of his hand gently nudging your arm. When your eyes fluttered open, you found him already looking at you. “You asked for my help; you can go take a breather outside and come back in—or maybe don’t—whatever you’re comfortable with. This can’t be easy.”

You were struggling to swallow again. One of your hands drummed messily against your kneecap. “It’s—” you shook your head, “—I’ll be okay. Thanks for coming though.”

“Yeah, dude. Of course.”

Something prodded at the side of your head, like someone was staring at you, but when you turned to see, it was just Changmin talking to Sumin. They were both smiling and making good conversation, it seemed.

You let out a sigh and closed your eyes again. Wishful thinking.

— ✶

Mark stayed behind to “vibe” with the remaining dancers still at the performing arts building while you and Sumin pushed out into the crisp, cool evening. Even after walking all the way to the bus station, your hands were still numb, and the cold definitely wasn’t helping.

“How do you feel about the dance interviews now?” You found yourself asking Sumin as the two of you sat on the bench at the station waiting for the bus to come pick the two of you up.

Sumin beamed. “I definitely feel a bit more secure about conducting them. I’ll definitely need some help with dance terminology and editing and stuff though.”

You nodded. “No problem at all.”

“The people are all really so chill and nice…” Your eyes definitely weren’t tricking you when you saw the bashfulness that her expression took on, and the little giggle you heard could not have been the wind. “Especially Changmin.”

Ha. What.

A weight fell to the pit of your stomach. Maybe you were hearing things… “Sorry?”

She blinked, and the blush on her cheekbones darkened. “Oh, haha, it’s nothing! I just… he was really sweet, and he has a really pretty smile and stuff—do you—uh, do you know if his previous dance showcase performances are online?”

(Something about that detail—he has a really pretty smile—rang a bell for you.)

It was really an innocent question, but you knew if Sumin went searching online for Changmin, and if she went deep enough, she’d find you there, too. You sucked in a breath. “I can—” you winced inwardly, “—send you some of his performances, if you want?”

You couldn’t deny the warm and fuzzy feeling in your chest when Sumin practically lit up at your suggestion. “Would you? I would really appreciate it, Yn! You’re the best.”

From your periphery, you saw the bus approach from down the street, and you gestured for the both of you to stand up and get your ID cards ready to board. You sent her a small smile—at least it felt good to help her out. You could pretend for a second that this was just a little crush or infatuation on some other colleague of yours that Sumin had. “Yeah, no worries.” No worries at all.

EPISODE SIX: OFF THE [TOP OF YOUR] HEAD

FRIDAY night brought you, Seungkwan, and Doyoung to the hotpot place located in the university district. The three of you were the unconventional combination of your friends, but Kun and Ten were supposedly on their way over as of five minutes ago. Thus, with the last of your party nearing, the three of you deigned to begin ordering almost everything off the menu—just to whet your appetites, of course.

Doyoung slumped down in his seat across from you and Seungkwan as soon as the waiter left to input your table's hefty order. "Ugggggggh."

Seungkwan snorted. "Ah, my favorite sound."

Doyoung passed him a dirty look over his lenses. "Is that sarcasm I hear, Boo Seungkwan?"

"I have no idea what you mean," he said with feigned innocence as he looked away and scratched the side of his head.

You chuckled to yourself, drawing your phone out from the inner pocket of your puffer jacket when you heard the series of buzzes. Your screen lit up with notifications from Sumin, all of them thanking you profusely for the spam of links you'd sent her way. These were on top of the videos you had dug up from your secret locked folder in your phone—and here you were, wondering why in the world you were doing this to yourself and for her?

"I can't decide if I dread Doyoung's noises of discontent or your expressions of pain more," Seungkwan commented, effectively pulling your focus away from your phone.

Both of your friends were now looking at you, patiently awaiting your answer to what ailed you tonight. Where should you begin?

"I'm not in pain," you scoffed. You set your phone facedown on the table next to you to avoid looking at the notifications. Huh. "Did I look like I was in pain?"

Doyoung's smile was wide like his eyes as he nodded. "Yup," he chirped in that sweet sarcasm of his. "Like you'd just watched a video of someone stubbing their toe against a doorframe."

Seungkwan blinked. "That's so—specific."

"You do not want to know what my For You Page looks like—"

You recreated the look of pain from earlier, holding your palm up. "Respectfully, Doie? I don't."

Seungkwan let out another snort of delight and had to hold a hand in front of his mouth.

Doyoung leveled a half-hearted scowl at you. "You're lucky I'm not your boss right now."

"As opposed to every other moment in time?"

"You have a mouth on you tonight."

"I do like to use it every so often," you quipped, the corner of your mouth lifting in an amused smirk.

Doyoung sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I don't get paid enough for this."

"You're literally not getting paid at all—" Your words were sliced off at their end when you gasped—it was all a blur: a mass of reddish-brown hair, your phone snatched from right in front of you— "SEUNGKWAN!"

Seungkwan held his breath with an impish grin as he turned his back to you and shielded your phone from your attempts to get it back. "I just wanna see!" He said with a cackle. "Every time you've looked at your phone today, you looked like you wanted to fall into an abyss."

You glared at him, pulling away to cross your arms firmly over your chest. "You can't just steal my phone, dude!"

"What's so important on your phone anyway, Yn-ie?" Doyoung asked good naturedly, reaching for his glass of ice water. "You're usually not so attached to that thing."

Your lips snapped shut and you wondered if the heat creeping up to your face was obvious.

"You've been sending Changmin videos to Sumin?!" Seungkwan bursted out, his eyes so wide that you could see your reflection in his pupils. As you'd feared, Seungkwan still had his fingerprint registered into your phone from before (long story; don't ask), and had cracked the device open, as well as your most recently opened application—yours and Sumin's text messages.

You did nothing but stare at the table like you were getting war flashbacks, while Doyoung had even gotten up out of his seat to take a peek at your phone, too.

"I haven't even seen this video before," Seungkwan hissed as if you weren't right there.

You fixed them both with a stink eye, but at the same time, maybe this was for your benefit. They could help you without you actually asking for help—

Doyoung's face contorted into a laughable expression of shock (eyes wide, mouth wider, eyebrows pinched, nose wrinkled) as he viewed what Seungkwan had selected. "Oh my god. He's a child in this!"

"Actually he was a senior in high school—" You slapped a hand over your mouth. Whoops.

Both of their heads whipped over toward you. "I thought you deleted all your high school shit!" They chorused together. If it had been any other situation or context, you might have laughed at the hilarity if it all.

Instead, you averted your gaze, making a show of looking for the waiter or maybe even Kun or Ten. What was taking them so long anyway?

"Yn," Seungkwan addressed with a tone akin to that of a parent on the verge of lecturing their child, "what in the name of god are you sending Sumin and why?"

Helpless, you held both your palms up in a sheepish shrug. "The kid has a crush on him, and being the best mentor figure ever, I… did some compiling for her." You paused, "Now that I say it out loud, it does sound pretty stupid."

Doyoung returned to his seat. "Ya think?"

You wrinkled your nose at him. "Hey! Sometimes, some of us have bad nights and we wanna feel something." Out of context, this was a really suspicious conversation.

"Isn't this just you torturing yourself?"

Seungkwan slapped his hand against the table, and both you and Doyoung startled. "That's it! I'm calling for an intervention."

Your mouth parted open. "Right now?"

He deadpanned at you. "No, when Kun and Ten get here—of course, right now!"

You returned his deadpan expression. The adrenaline from all this back and forth was slowly fading, and what you were left with was something that felt like emptiness. So… now they knew.

Doyoung and Seungkwan exchanged looks with another from across the table, but it was the former who spoke first. "Why do you still have videos from back then, Yn-ie? I thought you told us you deleted them all?"

"I mean, we're not trying to be judgmental or anything," Seungkwan added firmly, but not unkindly, "they're your videos and photos, your past and memories, but… based on everything you've already told us before, wouldn't it be best to delete them?"

You didn't like the emptiness. The adrenaline had stripped you of energy and confidence when it faded. "I," you stammered, "I just… I couldn't bring myself to delete them." Your voice was quiet, almost inaudible compared to the liveliness of the hotpot shop around you and your friends. "I mean, how could I? Sometimes, I want to watch them and try to find the courage to say that I'm sorry first."

Yeah, you wanted to feel something. That "something" was actually a lot of things—courage, happiness, nostalgia, anger, melancholy, love, passion, pride. A life and childhood you had lost; who's fault was it but your own? You felt nothing short of pathetic.

Seungkwan frowned deeply, his eyes softening. He leaned forward and drew you into his embrace, his hold warm and comforting. "Oh, Yn. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have pried like that."

You wrapped your arms around him, eyes shuddering closed. "Yeah, you shouldn't have."

He grunted into your shoulder, a noise of defiance and attitude.

Doyoung had a similar expression of sympathy present on his face. You didn't often see something like that from him, but after years of friendship and working together, you'd begun to see a lot more of him. "I'm sorry too, Yn. It probably still hurts, and I know I was probably really insensitive when I asked you to introduce Sumin to the dance department—"

"Hey guys! Sorry we're late."

Everyone jolted at the sight of Kun and Ten arriving at your table. Kun sent Ten a sharp look along with a sharp jab with his elbow for interrupting. Kun shot you an apologetic look. "Sorry, we didn't interrupt anything, did we?"

You shook your head as Seungkwan pulled away. Doyoung and Seungkwan were both looking to you to make the decision of whether or not you would let Kun and Ten in on the prior conversation.

No, you didn't want to put a damper on dinner any longer. "Ah, no worries. We were just… discussing a couple work things. What took you guys so long?"

Luckily, no one (namely Ten) called you out and the two newcomers slid into their respective seats. Dinner would arrive soon, and you could fill your belly with something other than negative thoughts for once.

— ✶

boss bunny: hey, i didn't get a chance to say this earlier, but i'm so sorry for expecting u to introduce sumin to the dance dept

boss bunny: i didn't think at all abt how that might trigger u, and i still want u to know that u can back out whenever u feel uncomfortable. seriously.

your phone: it's okay, doyoung. i get it, i really do. and i promise that it didn't feel like u were forcing me or assuming that i would do it either

your phone: i knew it would probably trigger me like this too, but i kind of really wanted to be someone's mentor yk? it just… called to me ig

your phone: sounds kind of sad lol

boss bunny: nonono! not at all :( i understand that too

boss bunny: i admire ur strength, yn

your phone: DOIE 🥺

boss bunny: …okay love u and all, but let's not use that emoji yeah? T-T

your phone: okay wtv 🤧 now stop texting cuz ten is starting to realize ur not slick at this

boss bunny: AM TOO. >:(

— ✶

"He kept looking at his phone and then at you, like, every five seconds," Ten giggled, his shoulder absentmindedly brushing against yours as the two of you strolled side by side through the numbing cold night. Dinner had concluded just about half an hour ago, and while Kun ferried Doyoung and Seungkwan home, you and Ten decided to head down a few blocks to get milk tea and hang out.

You clapped your hands together in delight, your laughter lighting up the night. “That’s what I’m saying! He just wasn’t subtle about it and he kept arguing with me that he was.” You shook your head, tongue darting out to lick your lips, “It’s okay though. I think Dad Doyoung’s antics are charming.”

Ten grinned. “Dad Doyoung? I think he’s more of an uncle; ‘Dad’ is Kun’s title.”

“Fair enough.”

“Ayo, Ten!”

Both yours and Ten’s heads whipped upward at the sound of his name being called. You didn’t actually recognize the voice, but when you saw the lineup of four young men coming toward you from the opposite end of the street, you didn’t need to recognize it. Because, well, you recognized their faces.

Huh, you had been running into Changmin and his like a lot more often recently.

Heading straight for you was Changmin, Chanhee, Juyeon, and—you thought his name was Kevin. Kevin was the one who had called out to Ten, and he waved excitedly over to your friend. Based on Changmin’s not-so-subtle frown at Kevin, you could assume that this was not expected. Maybe he was going to advocate crossing the whole street to avoid you.

“Oh, hey Kev!” Ten greeted back cheerily, glancing at you beside him. “Do you know Kevin and Juyeon?”

You bobbed your head. “Briefly,” you replied. The two of your groups met in the middle, two blockades in the smack middle of the sidewalk. Impromptu meetups like this always seemed to end up clogging up the sidewalk for some reason.

After a swift greeting, Chanhee was already gesturing to the direction his group had already been headed in. “Hey, I’ll probably run up the street and get us a table. Haknyeonie says the tables fill up fast after eight o’clock.”

Juyeon perked up. “Oh, I’ll come with!”

Chanhee made eye contact with Changmin from across the group, and a silent form of communication passed between them. You watched this happen quietly, standing to the side with your hands tucked into your pockets while Ten and Kevin caught up from the last time they saw each other (apparently, it was a drawing and painting course from last quarter). However, instead of leaving with Chanhee and Juyeon, Changmin lingered with the three of you.

He naturally came to stand semi-close to you since he wasn’t exactly a part of the “drawing and painting” conversation. The frown from earlier had disappeared, though, and you didn’t know if you could call that a win or not.

Perhaps to you, the tension between the two of you was palpable. There were… far too many things up in the air at this moment, and it was nearly impossible for you to figure out just one thing to start with.

Plus, now was no time to get into all of that baggage. You needed to finish that intervention with Doyoung and Seungkwan before you could handle that kind of conversation—at least, that was what you would have preferred.

But for now, you found yourself clearing your throat and sparing him a glance. “Hey.”

Changmin’s eyes darted over to yours in ill-concealed surprise. “Hey.”

And that was that.

Luckily, Ten nor Kevin dragged on their conversation longer than it needed to be, and soon, you and Ten were passing by Kevin and Changmin as both parties went their separate ways. (You were going to pretend that you hadn’t looked back to watch Changmin walk away. Definitely not.)

“All good?” Ten asked, though, his voice was quieter than it had been before.

You could meet his eyes and nod. “Yeah.”

Ten followed up with an idle sort of humming noise, like he was one of those really loud computer fans (what in the world led you to think of that—?), “A few days ago, I kind of asked Changmin what the deal between the two of you was.”

“Oh?” Nervousness bubbled up the column of your throat. “What’d he say?”

He gave a shrug. “Something like a long-standing grudge.”

You let out a laugh that didn’t exactly sound like a laugh. “Well, I guess that’s one way to put it.” Was that how you would put it? In a way, that was what it was, but there was so much more to that, wasn’t there? Did Changmin think so little of what transpired between the two of you or was he just trying to deflect Ten’s interrogation?

The two of you had arrived at the tea shop by now, and Ten opened the door for you. The shop’s insides were warm and bright, and the tables were already filled up with fellow students who decided to hang out with friends on their Friday evening. You and Ten shifted over to the self-order kiosks to the side of the room and continued your conversation in low volumes.

“How would you put it then?” He asked. When you looked over at him, you realized that there was something scarily disarming about his eyes. “No pressure, of course. I mean, you can call me out on being nosy whenever; I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

You pursed your lips as you turned back to the screen to absentmindedly swipe down the page to find your preferred order. On the inside, you fought for the right words. “Changmin and I were best friends since we were kids,” you started, inputting your preferred level of sugar and ice like clockwork, “and we met through dance.”

Ten nodded to signal he was still listening, and the two of you swapped places so he could input his order.

You cracked your knuckles and rubbed your palms together to generate some kind of heat between them. “I didn’t really like dance at first. It was just one of those things my parents put me in to occupy my time after school and while they were working. But… well, you know how Changmin is with dance—it was and is his livelihood.”

“Even then?”

A nod. “Even then.”

When your orders were paid for, the two of you moved to a quiet corner of the shop to wait for your number to be called from the counter. You leaned your side against the wall next to Ten, your eyes staring blankly at a crack in the floor. “He was actually the reason I grew to love dancing,” you confessed. “As we got older and went into high school, sneaking out to practice together and performing together on stage became as easy as breathing air and as normal as…” You shook your head. “It was just a lot easier I think, back then.”

Ten tilted his chin toward you. “What happened between you two, Yn?”

You swallowed roughly. “In my first year of high school, my parents got divorced. I always suspected it would happen, but my mom kind of changed after that.” Your eyebrows crinkled as you recalled the memories of your early teenage years and tried to grapple with an adequate way to express them aloud. “And, to be fair, the more I danced, the more I didn’t want to focus on school work, but my mom became really hard on me about all that and I started to crack down on that stuff.

“Eventually, she got tired of taking me to dance practices and shows, and she blew up at me about how useless dance was going to be if I was going to become a doctor or something like that.”

Ten heard your number being called and nudged you to follow after him. He handed you your drink, and the two of you pushed back out into the chilly night. You didn’t really know where you were trying to go, but you didn’t really care. You both ended up in one of the small parking lots squeezed between two fast food restaurants, and you sat yourself down on the curb.

You continued, “And so, she would purposely forget to come home in time to take me to competitions and rehearsals. By the time I realized she wasn’t coming, I was already late every time. I would start walking myself there and taking the bus instead. Changmin started noticing that I was slacking, but I…”

“He didn’t know?”

“No.” You didn’t want him to know. Maybe it was your stupid pride that was preventing you from admitting that aloud. Maybe you were ashamed that your mom wasn't as accepting of dance as his parents were. You let out a shuddering breath and watched it come out in a visible puff in front of your face. “She made me grow spiteful toward dance,” you said stiffly. “I would be trying to stretch or practice movement in my bedroom while studying for exams, and she would come in and berate me.”

The yelling echoed in your mind, all too vividly. Your mother never physically hurt you, but there were still scars. “She’d discourage me from rehearsals or signing up for competitions by telling me I was nowhere near good enough, that dancing wasn’t going to put food on the table, and that I was—” A complete disappointment. You could pick those exact words out of a line up.

Ten’s eyes glistened with silver in the amber glow of the streetlight above you. “Jesus, Yn. I’m so sorry; that’s—that’s awful.”

You didn’t know how to accept the sympathy, even after having received so much from your other friends already. No matter how many times you retold your story, it was never quite right or in the way your brain wanted to portray it. You didn’t want to portray anyone as the villain; you figured that maybe you could have done something back then to prevent this. (You couldn’t have, actually, and that was the most difficult part to accept.)

“Yeah,” you murmured, setting your drink on the ground as you curled in on yourself slightly. “Anyway, by senior year, Changmin was obviously really into dance and was probably really stressed about auditions and end-of-the-year competitions. We basically… we basically took out our anger on each other. He said some things, I said some things. The rest is history.”

It was quiet for a moment as you let the words sink into the open air. Your chest loosened a bit after being able to tell another person about it, but for the most part, your hands still trembled. You reached for your drink again to take a sip and to force some kind of liquid down your throat.

After a while, Ten piped up, “Yn… I hope you know that you are not whoever your mother was trying to make you believe you were. You’ve probably realized that already—or maybe you’re still working on it—but please know that you’re probably one of the strongest people I know. It must have been really hard for you and I…” He exhaled, “Sorry, I’ve never been great at this.”

You sent him a small smile in return. “It’s okay; I still appreciate it.” After a beat, you added, “I know I act like I hate him, but I still want to see him succeed. I can’t think that ill of him, especially when he wasn’t the only one at fault.”

“Ah, that’s why ‘it’s complicated’, huh? I get that.”

“Yeah.” Your hands—god, if they could just stop shaking—

Ten reached over and covered your hands with one of his, and you let the heat of his palm warm yours. “You’re doing great, Yn. You know that, right?”

You couldn’t choke out an answer to that. You could only really say, “I just miss him sometimes.”

A sad smile. “I know. Maybe he does, too.”

You wanted to laugh, or maybe cry, at that. Anyone who got in the way of Changmin’s passions was no one to him. You would know exactly how that felt.

EPISODE SEVEN: [ROLLS RIGHT] OFF THE TONGUE

WHENEVER Changmin was feeling unsure of himself, he would retreat to his safe space: the practice rooms. Even if it was some time in the ungodly morning, like 2am as it was now, he would make the trek beneath molten gold streetlights and barren cobbled streets. It was the one place where he could focus his energy solely on dance, and forget about everything else.

Once upon a time, it had been your safe space just as much as it was his.

Changmin huffed a sigh as he hiked up the remaining flight of stone stairs that led up to the backdoor area of the performing arts building. It was a handful of hours since he and Chanhee parted ways with Kevin and Juyeon after enjoying dinner together. Chanhee was probably dead asleep by now—he was probably going to wake up and continue studying for his exams anyway.

As he turned to his right, his breath hitched as he caught sight of someone standing right outside the door. Usually, he had no trouble getting in and security wasn’t exactly strict in this area of campus. In fact, he almost never bumped into anyone, as strange as it sounded. Maybe he should have counted his blessings.

But then he recognized your jacket from earlier this evening, the very same one you were wearing while walking next to Ten—practically squished up against each other, two peas in a pod. He didn’t like how irked he was by that detail. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that you had said “hey” first.

You weren’t looking at him, rather, your body was completely turned toward the door as if you were trying to decide whether or not you should go in. You were as still as a statue, frozen in time.

The moment, however, faded as quickly as it had come. You must have sensed his presence, and your head whipped around to face him.

There.

His heart leapt into his throat—dear god, why did you look so afraid? And then he noticed that you weren’t frozen still, but rather, channeling all your energy into keeping your body from trembling. Were you cold? What were you doing here so late? Why weren’t you with Ten?

He watched your throat move as you gulped. And then you were walking toward him—no, past him—wait, come back— “So that’s it?”

The grip he had on his duffle bag strap tightened when you stopped next to him just as you were going to walk past him toward the stairs. Your gazes clashed like a pair of twin lightning bolts slicing through the night sky. There had always been a sort of energy between the two of you, and when you were young, he had been so very attracted to that kind of power, one so similar to his… he didn’t think he was mistaken back then.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You said, still there. Your voice was low, but he could detect the edge.

He didn’t know what it was supposed to mean; he just didn’t want you to leave without knowing why you were here. Were you looking for him? “You’re not gonna say anything to me? Why are you here?”

(He swore it wasn’t supposed to come out that brusque-sounding, but he also didn’t know what it was supposed to come out sounding like…? He felt like he didn’t know you anymore.)

There was a narrowing of your eyes, and you both angled your bodies to face one another like a standoff. “No one said I had anything to say to you. And I—” You tripped over your words, “—I don’t know why I’m here. That’s why I was leaving.”

Oh.

Why was he disappointed by that answer?

“So you’re not here with Ten or something?” He asked, unsure what else he could say to keep you here, even for just a couple seconds longer.

Your mouth curled. "Clearly not. Why are you so pressed about me and Ten?"

Changmin pressed his lips together. "I'm not." Okay. Very believable.

The face you made said the same thing. "Okay, yeah. I didn't expect you to care so much anyway."

For a reason he loathed to admit, anger spiked in his blood and he felt the distinct need to defend himself. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know," you replied sarcastically, your volume rising, "maybe it's that you've never really cared that much about things that concerned me in the first place?"

"Now that's rich coming from you."

Your glare pierced his. "Oh, please. As soon as I started slacking—god, it took so little for you to just abandon me."

His jaw fell slack. Where the fuck did this conversation just turn to? "Abandon you? You abandoned me!" He exclaimed, finger flicking between the two of you as if he could impale both of your chests with the sharp edge of his accusations.

"How could I have possibly been the one to abandon you?" Your face contorted with so much more emotion than Changmin had ever seen from you over the past three years. Suddenly, he could see the underlying desperation and devastation hidden beneath the lines of bitterness and anger. His heart sank, but his blood still boiled and pumped. He couldn't get the distinctly awful hole in his chest to stop aching. He could remember exactly when you just stopped coming to practice with him. He could remember exactly the day he gave up hope.

"You—" you stammered, your hand flying to your throat. It was the same action he had seen from you just a few days ago while you were in the practice room. He recognized it as a habit of yours for when you were anxious or overwhelmed because your throat closed in on itself. If that wasn't enough to make him want to lay down his sword… "—you stopped caring. When did you stop caring? I just want to know."

Everything went silent for him, just for a split second. You thought… you thought he stopped caring? How could he ever stop caring about you? Wasn't that why he was so upset in the first place?

And when the world zapped back into play, he was sure his skin was ashen. His throat bobbed. "How could you think so little of me?"

Your forehead creased. "Little? Changmin, you were everything to me."

Dear heart—

You were shaking your head and taking a step away from him then. "You couldn't possibly understand."

Just like that, there was fire in his veins again. "That's because you never gave me a chance to understand!"

You threw a look back at him and again, he could read everything there like an open book, so much unlike the wall he had been met with all this time. "And I can say the exact same thing about you. If you think I kept things from you, Ji Changmin—" you said with the undertone of a snarl, so fierce that, as you turned on your foot to face him again, your breath came out like that of a dragon's smoke, "—then how much have you kept from me?"

His nostrils flared and his hands gestured wildly, vaguely—he pressed his palms to his eyes with a haggard sigh. "Why are you here, Yn?" He asked again, finally. He lowered his hands and took a step toward you. "Are you here just to pick a fight with me?"

You paused.

He watched you open your mouth, then close it.

You pursed your lips, finally murmuring, "No. I didn't come here for you."

For some reason, that hurt even more.

— ✶

The practice room was colder than it usually was.

Changmin kept the lights dim for the sake of his stinging eyes, and he dumped his duffle bag in the corner of the room before making a beeline for the aux cord for the speaker system. He hooked up his phone and opened up his music files, his forehead pressing against the cool mirror wall.

For a moment, he simply let his eyes flutter shut and his lungs to breathe.

You were long gone by now, and Changmin considered just going back to his apartment, but he knew he would just lie in bed awake for hours if he did.

When he opened his eyes, he swiped out of his music and instead went to a file kept deep down in the depths of his storage. He had purposely named it so it would remain at the absolute bottom of the list when alphabetized, and the pass code on it was supposed to dissuade him from accessing it.

Supposed to.

He punched in the four digits of your birthday and the lock clicked open to reveal a hefty file of video after video. There were photos of you, too, somewhere, but the videos were all at the top of the file because of their size. He didn't know what he was gonna do when his phone ran out of storage; he figured that when that day came, it would either be when you and he finally figured shit out, or he got closure and could delete them all.

He sighed.

His thumb hovered over one of the video files near the top, one where he could see your face in the thumbnail.

When he opened it, his younger face filled the screen. His tongue poked out from his lips as he carefully settled his phone against the wall next to yours as both of your phones recorded the run-through that was about to happen.

"Changminnie! Come on, I'm starting the song!" Your voice echoed against the practice room walls, and his laughter soon followed as he scurried into place next to you.

Changmin watched his younger self transform his expression into something more serious, while you had looked at him through the mirror and burst out laughing.

Younger Changmin broke his facade, the dimples in his cheeks deep, his smile bright. "What?"

You grinned back at him. "Sorry, sorry! Nothing; it's just interesting how you can just shift your facial expression like that."

"You have to practice like you perform though!"

"I know, I know. I just like your smile better, y'know?"

Changmin could see the hearts in his younger self's eyes. Jesus, had he really blushed that hard? Younger Changmin cupped the back of his neck bashfully. "Really?"

You punched his arm playfully. "Yeah. It's really pretty, Changmin. I thought I told you this before."

"Well yeah, but it doesn't hurt to hear it again—yah! Hey, I can bite back, you know—!"

Changmin's eyes shuddered as the familiar melody of the song flowed into his ears. He abruptly slammed his thumb down onto the pause button.

No, he couldn't stomach hearing it. Not when he could recall every move from memory and not when he had no partner to complement those moves. It just reminded him of the gaping hole in his chest and the emptiness of this room.

"Let's get to work, Changmin," he muttered to himself as he swiped out of the folder and back to his music files. He had an actual to-do list in mind, after all, and it did not include a dive into the forbidden folder. (No matter how much he needed to hear your voice again, for once, not arguing with him.)

EPISODE EIGHT: OFF THE HOOK

"HE'S been pissy all morning—"

Changmin suppressed a groan of frustration as he heard his friend's voices nearing the dressing room he was in. All morning, the performing arts building had been a madhouse, even worse than the night of the draft showcase. Everyone just decided to be here today, whether they were his fellow dancers trying to score a practice room, one of the prospective actors auditioning for a part in Hyunjae's best friend's thesis play, or one of the tech members trying to make sure everything worked behind the scenes.

Changmin had gone from room to room in an attempt to find an empty one where he could have some peace in working on his own. He would have just gone home at this point, but Chanhee was stressing over his own exams, so Changmin was stuck here.

So taking all of that into account, including the rough encounter he'd had with you a couple days ago, plus a lack of sleep and coffee—not the happiest squirrel on campus.

(How could you just drop a bomb like "You were everything to me, Changmin" in his lap and expect him not to think of anything else for days on end?)

The door to the dressing room he was hiding in cracked open, and all of the cacophony from the outside flooded in, as well as a crush of his friends.

"Don't you guys have class?" Changmin moaned, his hand coming up to rub his sleep-deprived eyes.

"Well, yeah, but this is much more fun," came Younghoon's teasing chuckle as he walked over to Changmin and clasped a hand on his shoulder.

Changmin made a face. "I just wanted some peace and quiet."

Sunwoo scoffed. "Peace and quiet? You've come to the wrong place, hyung."

"Yeah," Hyunjae added on, "might as well take a break for once and come watch auditions with us! HJ!Yn needs help judging people anyway."

Changmin cocked a brow at the blond. "You should call Chanhee for that then. Shouldn't you be out there, Younghoon?" He nodded toward the tall, lanky drama major present.

Younghoon shook his head, bouncing on the balls of his feet. How did he have so much energy? "Nope. I'm auditioning for a part, so she's gatekeeping me from watching."

Changmin turned from his friends slightly as he reached down for his phone that he had situated on top of the small bluetooth speaker he had the good sense to bring. Then again, maybe he should have just stuck to earbuds… whatever. He was too tired to care. Part of him wanted to add to the chaos anyway.

"What's her thesis play about again?" He asked no one in particular. Sunwoo waddled over to him and stole his phone right from his hands and began browsing through the music selection.

"It's a modern take of one of Shakespeare's plays: Much Ado About Nothing," answered Younghoon. "It was really funny actually, like the original play. Lots of matchmaking, lots of stupidity. I think they dump someone in a lake..."

Hyunjae perked up. "Oh yeah! That was probably my favorite part of the whole script."

Changmin chuckled. "I was expecting you to say something like 'the whole thing's my favorite because my best friend wrote it'."

"Oh, no, that still applies."

Changmin, Sunwoo, and Younghoon all exchanged knowing looks with one another. Mhm… so they thought. There were a few too many in their friend group who had interesting relationships with their other friends. Exhibit A: whatever the fuck was happening with Hyunjae and his.

Hyunjae caught their silent communication and furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

Sunwoo snorted, but Younghoon was the one to drawl, "It's absolutely nothing."

Changmin pressed his lips into a cheeky smile, brushing the bangs from out of his vision. Hyunjae's lips quirked to the side in a frown, but didn't make any comment on it. It wasn't a new reaction from the group, by any means, but… oh well. That would be a tale for another time.

With that being said, Changmin followed the three of them out of the relative privacy of the dressing room and out into the hustle-bustle of the main backstage corridor. As soon as that dressing room was vacated, however, somebody was swift to occupy it. Changmin cursed inwardly; guess he wouldn't be able to come back to that room later.

With the switching of theater leadership over the past year (a changing of the guard, if you would, but with professors and sponsors), the management of the entire performing arts department was a mess and a half. There were a few stand-out graduate students and undergraduates who were keeping everything in check for all of the events happening over this year—like Hyunjae’s best friend, Lee Jihoon (a graduate student specializing in sound and music production), and Moon Taeil (a graduate who was a soloist in the chamber choir).

As the four young men made their way closer to the immediate backstage, the sound miraculously dulled down. The lights were a lot dimmer here, as the spotlights were turned toward the main stage. Changmin spotted a few people scattered throughout the backstage area with phones or folded script packets in their hands as they recited their lines to themselves, with some even making exaggerated facial expressions and grand hand gestures.

Hyunjae’s best friend was one of the up and coming director-screenwriter “prodigies” that the drama department championed. She was a year older than Changmin was, and he didn’t need to be a genius to know that there were a crowd of people vying for a role in her graduating thesis play. It must have been stressful as fuck, but he knew that she had a good head on her shoulders—

“—I’m gonna stop you right there.”

HJ!Yn’s voice resounded from the other side of the hefty velvet curtains separating the backstage from the main stage. Hyunjae made a show of pressing his index finger to his lips to signal his friends to be quiet—Sunwoo thus made a show of rolling his eyes (“Duh, we’re gonna be quiet.”). They all huddled to the side of the curtain and poked their heads out to see what was going on.

The university performing arts hall was likely one of the most magnificent places on campus. It featured a vast array of floor seating, while also boasting three levels of balcony seats. Changmin remembered once briefly learning the anatomy of the theater seating: the floor or nosebleeds, the slightly lofted box seats, the grand circle, loge circle, and upper circle—the gods. It was all very antiquarian, but it was a place Changmin had become quite familiar with over the years.

The director herself sat in the dimmed nosebleeds section, in the smack middle. Someone had dragged out one of those plastic, foldable tables for her to set her paperwork and a small, battery-operated lamp on top of.

Curiously, sitting next to her was none other than Bae Sumin, your new recruit.

Changmin straightened, accidentally bumping into Younghoon’s shoulder as he did. “Sorry,” he whispered.

Younghoon shook his head to say that it was all good, his hand lifted in acknowledgement.

“Did you know Sumin was here?” He asked his friend.

Younghoon’s expression was thoughtful. “I think so? I left to go find you when I thought I heard someone say they saw her come in. Why? Did she not tell you when the dance department interviews were gonna be held?”

Changmin recalled receiving no notice. “No. I—I figured Yn would be here, too, then. Right?” Was he ready to face you again so soon? Would you even acknowledge him this time—?

Younghoon passed him an amused glance with a small smile fitted over his face. “That would make sense,” he murmured with his arms crossed over his chest. One of his hands reached up to idly massage his jaw. “I’d imagine she would be with her friends, somewhere around here. Though, it would also make sense that she would be sitting with Sumin, too. Then again—”

“You are… no help,” Changmin deadpanned.

His friend chuckled lowly, eyes upturned into slim crescents.

“Uh Jihoon-ah?”

Changmin and Younghoon’s attention flitted over towards the far side of the backstage and they watched as a girl chased after the resident sound producer graduate student. He was, perhaps, smaller than one might anticipate from the intimidating man, but he still harbored so much scary energy and talent within his body. Like all of the staff on the technical team, the pair were clad in all black.

Jihoon glanced up from his clipboard and at the girl. “Hm?”

The girl nodded toward the curtains. “Director is calling for a break and is asking if the house lights can be turned on.”

“Ah okay, come on then. Follow me.”

As the two of them strode across the length of the backstage, the girl’s eyes found Changmin and Younghoon, and… She was looking past him now at someone else. She lifted her hand in a small wave, paired with a smile, “Hi, Sunwoo.”

Changmin whipped his head around, only to realize that Hyunjae had disappeared, but Sunwoo was now standing on Changmin’s other side. He watched in utter delight as his younger friend flushed, even in the dim lighting, at the girl’s greeting. His eyes were wide as he squeaked out a quick, “Hey!” in return.

When Jihoon and his charge had gone out of view, Changmin turned on Sunwoo with a hyena cackle. “Oh my god! Who was that, Kim Sunwoo?”

Sunwoo seemed to shrink into the collar of his hoodie. “No one.”

Changmin’s laughter lit up the room just as the house lights thunk-thunk-thunk’d to life. Younghoon had slipped away, most likely to meet Hyunjae in the nosebleeds, which left only the two of them there alone. “Do you have a crush on her?”

“Yah! You’re such a menace,” Sunwoo groaned, whacking Changmin with the extra length of his sweater paw. “You can’t even talk, dude! You’re in love with a girl who can barely stand to be in the same room—” Sunwoo realized his slip up and slapped a palm over his mouth.

Ouch. The truth hurt, didn’t it? Changmin chuckled, though it was noticeably quieter now. “Well, you’re not wrong—” He shook his head, eyebrows creased together, “—wait, no. Wait, I’m not in love with her!”

Sunwoo rolled his eyes so hard he must have seen his brain up there. “Oh, please. The last time you were drunk and emotional, you showed us that secret little folder in your phone.” He jabbed his finger accusingly at the phone in Changmin’s hand.

Changmin scowled, pressing his phone to his chest as if to protect it in case Sunwoo decided to have wandering hands. “That was told to you in confidence!”

“No, it was told to me in a drunken stupor—” The two of them began to make their way back toward the edge of the curtain, ducking out from its shadow and onto the main stage. Hyunjae and Younghoon were indeed in the nosebleeds now, but Sumin was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she had only been here to observe the audition process. “And you guys say I’m the lightweight.”

“That’s because you are the lightweight.”

Just as the two of them hopped down from the stage and onto the ground floor of seats, Juyeon came in from the doors located at the back of the seats. He raised a hand in greeting to all present, cheerfully waving with that golden retriever-esque grin. “Hey guys! Oh, Changminnie, I was just looking for you.”

Changmin’s eyebrows flew up. “Oh? What’s up, Juyeon?”

Sunwoo retreated into the rows up where Hyunjae and Younghoon were, while Changmin met up with Juyeon in the rightmost aisle.

Juyeon threw a thumb behind him toward the direction he had just come from. “Sumin was asking if you would be willing to do your interview right now.”

His eyes widened slightly. “Right now?”

“That’s what I just said, wasn’t it?”

Changmin pressed his lips together, before nodding. “Uh, for sure. Yeah, lead the way.”

The two dancers hiked their way back up to the back of the area and through the door Juyeon had originally entered through. The main lobby was much less crowded—it was practically barren, which made it the perfect environment to conduct an interview in. Sumin was setting herself up at one of the couches, setting her laptop, phone, and coffee cup on the coffee table opposite to her.

She raised her head when she heard the door open and close, and a bright smile graced her features. “Oh, you found him! Thanks, Juyeonie.”

“Yeah, no problem,” he chirped. “I’ve got a couple things to handle first, but just ask someone to come find me once you and Changmin are done.”

With Juyeon swiftly taking his leave, Changmin was left to take a seat on the other end of the couch that Sumin was sitting at. “Hey, nice to see you again, Sumin,” he said, crossing one ankle over the other and resting his arm along the back of the couch.

The corners of her smile widened. “Nice to see you, too, Changmin! Sorry this was so sudden; I figured that I could get started on some of the interviews while I was here.”

“Oh, yeah, no worries,” he chuckled.

She reached for her phone, fidgeting as she swiped to a simple recording application. “I hope you don’t mind me recording this…?” At his consent, she nodded. “Okay, cool. I did wanna say something before we started.”

He sat up just a bit. “What is it?”

There was a sort of twinkle in her eyes, and if he wasn’t mistaken, her manner became a lot more bashful all of a sudden. “I have to confess that I asked my mentor, Yn, if she could send me some of your dance performance videos and I’m literally in awe of your talent. Like, I wanted to tell you how starstruck I am just being able to tell you this right now, but I just wanted to say this before we started.”

He broke into a boyish grin at this, his dimples becoming craters of joy in the apples of his cheeks. “Ah, thank you—that really means a lot,” he smiled.

Sumin added on, one of her palms pressing against the couch cushion as she leaned toward him slightly, “I mean, I don’t even know how Yn was able to find videos of you from high school, but I’m so glad she did, because—”

Wait what. Changmin was watching Sumin’s mouth move as she talked but he wasn’t truly hearing what she said. His humble, albeit a bit dumbfounded, smile remained, but her words from just before resonated in his head. There were definitely a few of his dance performance videos online from his high school days, but did you keep links to them? Did you keep the recordings on your phone?

The fact that Sumin asked you meant that she probably had no clue about your past, only that you were the person Sumin could rely on if she had any questions.

What did it mean? What did it mean?

His heart pounded in his chest at the thought that maybe he could possibly have an excuse to get you to talk to him, even if it was one, truly dumbass excuse.

“—ready?”

Changmin snapped out of his dazed state. “Sorry?”

Sumin blushed slightly, clearing her throat. At some point, she had pulled her laptop onto her lap and prepped her phone by placing it in between the two of them to record the following conversation. “Are you ready to start?”

He coughed, straightening and adjusting his position. “Oh, yeah—uh, sorry. Yeah, whenever you’re ready.”

Sumin gauged his reaction carefully, but instead of pressing the record button, she hit the power button. “If I may, you seem a little distracted. I don’t really want this to feel like a burden if you’ve got a lot on your plate.”

Shit. “No, I mean,” he shook his head, “I’m sorry. I guess my mind just wanders really easily when…” He huffed a sigh, dragging a hand down his face. “I’m a little tired, that’s all.”

“I totally get that,” she sympathized. “You’ve probably been practicing non-stop lately for the winter showcase. We don’t have to do this today if you’re not in the right headspace.”

He sighed and couldn’t help but feel just a little relieved. He needed to talk to Chanhee about this, math exam or dance practice be damned. But there was a part of him that definitely felt awful about having to cut off her interview even before it began. He gestured to her phone. “How about we reschedule? We could meet up sometime else during the week to redo this and I promise I’ll be all yours.”

He didn’t know what he did, but the pink on her cheeks deepened to a cherry red. “Oh, uh, sure!” She giggled, taking her phone and passing it over to him. “You can just put your phone number in there and I’ll text you to ask when you wanna meet up.”

Changmin nodded his agreement and swiftly inputted his contact information into the given slots. “Definitely,” he said before handing her phone back to her. The phone fumbled between the two of them, but Changmin was already standing up with the goal to go retrieve his bag (wherever it was), and to go consult Chanhee and the man’s infinitesimal opinions. “Really sorry again, Sumin.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it!” She dismissed his worries with a flick of her wrist. “Would you mind finding Juyeon, though?”

Changmin sent her a thumb’s up over his shoulder on his way to the door. “Yeah, for sure.”

She returned the gesture, watching as he disappeared out of the main lobby. It was only when he was definitely gone, she covered her mouth with her hand and stared at his saved contact in her phone. Then, with a silent scream of happiness, she ran to her text chain with you to tell you all about it.

a/n: PLS STILL REBLOG THIS PART EVEN THO ITS NOT THE FULL THING PLS PLS PLS IM BEGGING

read part two here (also linked at top)

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