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discovisiondreams · 3 years

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Top 15 First Watches of 2020

I’ve never been good at staying current on pop culture, and that became especially pronounced in 2020. A year where most of the anticipated theatrical releases were pushed to VOD (and the price nearly tripled) meant that a lot of flicks I was excited for got added to the end of the “Maybe Someday” watchlist.

But in this strange year, I did manage to watch 245 movies- and 195 of those were first-time watches. Some were new, only available on the (virtual) festival circuit. Some were Criterion mainstays, films I’m horrified to admit I hadn’t seen before. But this year, when movies cemented themself as my biggest joy, I began to really track what I watched- including a “top 5 first watches of the month” roundup for every month. These top 5s weren’t ranked, and weren’t even based on technical ability, strength of dialogue, or critical acclaim. They were just the 5 I loved the best.

So without further ado, here are my top 15 of the year- one selected from the top 5 of each month, with some bonus entries thrown in as well. As a general rule, I only included features on this list- I was fortunate enough to catch shorts that streamed at Chattanooga Film Fest, Celebration of Fantastic Fest, and more, but to add them to the running would have made writing this listicle absolutely impossible.

HONORABLE Honorable Mention: The Holiday. Inspired by the fine folks at Super Yaki, I finally watched this Nancy Meyers classic. Why is it two and a half hours long?! Why is that two and a half hours so significantly lacking in Jack Black?! The scenes that Black is in, though, really shine. This one is going to be a Christmas mainstay in the Disco household (and not just because I spent money on the DVD).

15: The Love Witch (Honorable Mention, April). This one came highly recommended to me by friends of all sorts, and like most of my 2020 first watches, I’m deeply embarrassed that it took me this long to get to it. Upon finally watching it, on a rainy Sunday, I described the movie in general (and the color palette, specifically) as “sumptuous,” which is one of the most complimentary visual descriptors I can bestow upon a movie. The plot felt a little convoluted at times, but I still found The Love Witch incredibly enjoyable and am hoping to explore more of writer-director Anna Biller’s filmography in 2021.

14: The Guest (Honorable Mention, October). The Guest is one of the few movies I watched multiple times this year- and the only one I watched twice in one week. From the sultry industrial soundtrack selections to the numerous visual nods to Halloween III: Season of the Witch, The guest was Extremely My Shit. The casting here is truly tremendous- especially Maika Monroe, who was similarly brilliant in It Follows. Also of note: Lance Reddick, one of my current favourite character actors.

13: The Fast and The Furious (Honorable Mention, May). 2 Fast 2 Furious (and its bespoke theme song, Act A Fool, by Ludacris) came out when I was in the 6th grade. Do you remember the music and movies that entered the world when you were in 6th grade? Do you have an inexplicable zealous love for them? 2F2F was the only film in the Fast Cinematic Universe I had seen for a long, long time. Then I saw Fate of the Furious. Then I bought the series box set, as a joke?? And then, slowly but then also all at once, I genuinely started to love this franchise. Some of them are truly ridiculous. Some of them are genuinely bad. But the first one? The Fast and The Furious (2001)? Timeless. Point Break updated and adapted for the early-aughts, The Fast and the Furious walked so The Italian Job (2003) could run. Without The Fast and The Furious, Paul Walker would just be “the guy from Tammy and The T-Rex” to millions of casual cinemagoers. The cultural impact of The Fast and The Furious simply cannot be denied!!

12: Come to Daddy (Top 5, July). Honestly, this is the exact flavor of bonkers bullshit I’ve grown to expect from Elijah Wood, and that is not an indictment. Wood’s genuine love for genre film is evident here, in what can only be described as an uncomfortable film of family, reunion, and redemption. The tense and abrasive first half gives way to a surprisingly relieving wave of violence and exposition in this critically-acclaimed flick.

11: The Stylist (Top 5, September). The feature-length debut of writer-director Jill Gevargizian, based off her short of the same name, is female-led horror that pays homage to genre mainstays like Maniac and Psycho while still being decidedly singular. Not only shot in Kansas City, but set in Kansas City, The Stylist made my midwestern heart happy. This is one that I really, really would have loved to see in a crowded theater auditorium, were this year a different one.

10: In The Mouth of Madness (Top 5, March). Despite being the beginning of pandemic awareness, March was a slow month for me, movie-wise (even though it’s not like I had anything else going on??). But I finally made time for this Carpenter classic, and I’m so happy I did. I’ve long been fascinated by stories about stories, and the people who find themselves trapped within those stories, and this one is truly, in the most basic sense of the word, horrifying. Sam Neill proves that he belongs in horror here, making his role in Event Horizon seem like a natural fit. Also a highlight: noted character actor David Warner, best known (to me) as “Billy Zane’s bodyguard guy in Titanic,” who never ever fails to be unsettling.

9: Profondo Rosso (Top 5, April). Before this year, my only Argento exposure was Suspiria (which is phenomenal), but Deep Red goes off the deep end in all the best ways. The score (by frequent Argento collaborators Goblin) is truly groovy. The number of twists and turns the plot takes is kind of mind-boggling, but also delightful. Daria Nicolodi (RIP) is at the top of her acting game here. This quickly became one of my beloved background movies- if I opened Shudder and Profondo Rosso was playing on one of their live-streaming channels, it stayed on while I was cleaning or cooking or paying bills. Profondo Rosso is a must-watch for those hoping to get into giallo.

8: Crimson Peak (Top 5, November). This one was definitely not what I was expecting, but it was GORGEOUS. I loved the world immediately (a Del Toro trademark, to be honest). As a longtime Pacific Rim stan, it made my heart happy to see Charlie Hunnam and Burn Gorman reunited under Guillermo Del Toro’s vision.

7: Palm Springs (Top 5, August). I am not typically a time-travel movie enthusiast- but I am a sucker for witty repartee and Andy Samberg. This one made me ugly-cry, which I should probably be a bit more ashamed to admit. August had a lot of really great first watches, but the Hulu exclusive takes the cake due to its novel premise, some truly heart-wrenching reveals, and the amazing casting (is there anything JK Simmons cant do?).

6: Scare Package (Top 5, May). Is there any format I love more than the horror anthology? While there have been so many over the years (Creepshow, All the Creatures Were Stirring), Scare Package might be my favourite of them all. A variety of fun and inventive stories combined with a genre-lovers dream of an overarching narrative make this one a must-see- in fact, it was the whole reason I bought a pass to this year’s online version of Chattanooga Film Fest. There’s a cameo here that absolutely knocked my socks off (and continued to do so even on repeat viewings). While the scares here are honestly minimal, Scare Package is a great love letter to the genre at large.

5: Do The Right Thing (Top 5, June). Yes, it took me until 2020 to watch Do The Right Thing for the first time. The palpable tension, the interwoven stories of Bed-Stuy’s residents, all seem timeless. Giancarlo Esposito is, as always, a joy to watch.

4: Knives Out (Top 5, February). “It’s a Rian Johnson whodunnit, duh,” states the SuperYaki! T-shirt famously worn by Jamie Lee Curtis, star of Knives Out (2019). This one has received worlds of critical acclaim, I truly do not know what I could even hope to add to the conversation. I want more old-school murder mystery cinema.

3: The VelociPastor (Top 5, January). It should be testimonial enough that The VelociPastor beat out Miss Americana, Netflix’s Taylor Swift documentary, as the top pick for January- but in case it isn’t, let me end 2020 the way I began it; by evangelizing the HECK out of this movie. Written and directed by up-and-coming triple-threat (Director/songwriter/prolific cat-photo-poster) Brendan Steere, The VelociPastor is a true love letter to genre cinema, complete with a big wink to the criminally underloved Miami Connection. Alyssa Kempinski shines as Carol, a doctor/lawyer/hooker with a heart of gold. The VelociPastor premiered in 2019 but gained tons of attention in 2020 (thanks in part to YouTube sensation Cody Ko)- attention that it truly deserves. A sequel is rumored to be in the works, but mark my words, anything to come from the imagination of Brendan Steere will be worth a watch.

2: Dinner in America (Top 5, October). I genuinely feel sorry for the other movies I watched in October (there were a lot) (they were all SO GOOD). Dinner in America, which I caught during the Nightstream hybrid festival, was not at all what I was expecting. While the other features were all very solidly genre flicks, this was…. A comedy? A modern love story?? I’mn honestly still not exactly sure, but I do know I loved every second of it. I laughed. I cried. I threw my hands up in the air exuberantly (in front of my laptop, looking like a true fool). I did not shut up about this movie online for weeks. I told anyone and everyone that Kyle Gallner is the most underrated actor of my generation and I still believe it! Dinner in America, the story of a punk band frontman who unwittingly takes refuge from the police in the home of his biggest fan, was an unexpectedly heartwarming tale of family, young love, and arson. Watch it as soon as you can.

1: Promising Young Woman (Top 5, December). This last-minute debut from Emerald Fennell, originally scheduled to hit theaters in April of this year, finally made its way to the big screen on Christmas Day, and became the 2020 entry on my annual “Christmas Day Trip to the Theater” list.* Carey Mulligan is an icon and deserves all of the awards for this. The soundtrack is sublime. The casting choices are truly incredible. While I have no doubt that the general themes of the movie will be polarizing, I absolutely loved this one- I sat in my car in the theater parking lot for a WHILE, considering just buying a ticket for the next showtime- that’s how badly I felt like I needed to see it again immediately. I look forward to writing its inevitable Criterion essay.

*Nobody else in rural iowa was interested in seeing this movie at noon on Christmas Day. I’m shocked.

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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 4 years

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All Is Found:Anastasia!AU

Part III – Life Is Full Of Choices

Fandom: The Witcher Word Count: 2,239 Rating: G Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @jill-makes-art@mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan @mycat-is-mylove @amirahiddleston a/n: A retelling of Don Bluth’s Anastasia (1997)

{prologue}{part i}{part ii}

Jaskier moved to run after you but Geralt held him back.

“Geralt what are you doing? She’s the one! She’s perfect!” he cried, struggling against his friend’s grasp. Geralt was watching you as you ran with a strange expression.

“No,” he said, “We let her go.”

Geralt let go of his arm, reasonably certain you’d gotten far enough away that Jaskier couldn’t catch up with you if he tried, and turned to find another way out of the palace. Jaskier gaped at the witcher for a moment, a blessed moment of peace and quiet as Geralt tried to process his thoughts, and then Jaskier ran ahead of him to physically block his path.

“What is going on with you?” he demanded. Geralt scowled but Jaskier wasn’t intimidated. He could see a look of uncertainty in the witcher’s eyes that he’d never seen before. “Geralt, talk to me.”

“She’s the princess,” Geralt replied.

“Sure, yes, that’s the point,” Jaskier said. Geralt could tell that Jaskier didn’t understand what he was trying to say and maybe even if he did he wouldn’t care. He knew it was hypocritical to try and back out now when he’d been the one to question Jaskier’s resolve. But that was when he thought the girl was dead. Now he knew she was alive, but she would only say that way if they left her alone.

“What happens when we bring her to her grandmother?” Geralt asked.

“Um, we get paid more than we’ve ever seen in our lives, go to the coast to retire, and have all of this nasty business disappear into a hazy, distant memory as we live debauchedly as we please,” Jaskier replied, counting off on his fingers as he spoke.

“What happens to her?” Geralt said pointedly. Jaskier glanced up at the portrait, the eyes of the child starkly vivid. Jaskier knew he should feel something when he looked at them but he’d looked into them once before and nearly died because of it. He didn’t regret his actions, but he had done his duty by her family. Now it was time to take care of his.

“She is reunited with her family and safe from all of this. I mean gods, Geralt, if she is the princess do you think this is the place for her?” Jaskier gestured to the ruins around them, snow still lightly falling and covering the shards of glass and rust-tinged marble. Geralt stared at the opening in the roof with a grim expression as he thought over what Jaskier said.

“People hire you to do this. We’re offering her a free escort to safety,” Jaskier pressed, seeing Geralt’s resolve waver back towards his side. He clapped a hand on the witcher’s shoulder and the amber eyes moved from the chasm above to the blue depths of Jaskier’s eyes.

“Whatever it takes,” the bard said.

“We keep her safe,” Geralt replied.

“Gods above, of course we do, Geralt,” Jaskier replied, “Princess or no, she’s safer with us. Well, with you. She’s more entertained with me at least.”

Geralt thought for another moment and then nodded.

“Whatever it takes,” he echoed. A broad grin broke over Jaskier’s face.

“But,” Geralt said, the smile freezing and falling away, “We do this my way.”

“Oh what a bloody change that’ll make,” Jaskier mumbled as he rolled his eyes, but he listened to the plan and kept the rest of his comments to himself.

-----

You blew the steam off of the warm cup of tea, your breath turning into vapor before your eyes though you sat indoors. You’d found a small tavern and had enough coin to buy something small and warm and your heart was finally slowing its thunderous pounding. You enjoyed the anonymity of being in the crowded tavern, especially after the incident at the palace. You’d been half-scared that you’d enter the tavern and everyone would turn and give you that same, incredulous look the man had given you and all accuse you of being this long-lost princess. Away from the oppressive and haunting atmosphere of the ruins you were able to smirk at the idea. A princess. The girls back at the Home would’ve loved that. But you had more in common with them than anyone who had lived in that palace and as you took another sip of tea you settled into yourself more and more, happy to put it all behind you.

“Don’t order the ale, they water it down.”

You looked up to find the man in black leather armor standing in front of you and sighed heavily. He looked at you differently now, the strange eyes looked almost kind but they still had that off-putting scrutiny as if he was still trying to make you fit into the narrative his friend had concocted.

“I suppose you’re here to drag me off for a tiara fitting?” you replied sarcastically. He smirked and you got a glimpse of what he was like when his guard wasn’t completely up. He was someone you could get a drink with. And apparently would be, as he sat at the chair across from you.

“Yes by all means have a set,” you said in the same sardonic tone, “Where’s your friend? Getting a scepter?”

“He’s outside. I told him I wanted to speak with you alone,” he said.

“And why is that?”

“Because I don’t want to scare you away more than we already have,” he answered, eyes and tone sincere though you were still cautious.

“And you’re who goes and helps people feel less scared?” you asked, eyeing the armor and the swords jutting out from behind his back.

“Not typically,” he admitted, “But my partner can be… eager.”

“What is your racket anyway? You and your partner? Just go around finding lost princesses?” you joked. Geralt’s eyes swept around the room nervously as you said this and he leaned in closer to whisper.

“Whether or not you believe it, the legend carries weight. If people believe that you are still alive you will be hunted,” he murmured. Your heart rate was climbing again. So much for the tea.

“If this is how you ease people’s fears I’d hate to see you try and scare them,” you snapped, “Besides, you just offered an argument there yourself. If I pretended, if I believed that… what you think is true I’m only going to put a target on my back and that is the last thing I want.”

“What do you want?” he asked, leaning back in his chair to relax but you saw his eyes still scan the room as you spoke.

“Not that it’s any of your business but I’m heading to Cidaris,” you replied.

“Oh really?” he asked skeptically.

“Yes,” you insisted, sitting up straighter and bristling at his tone.

“Do you know how many people have successfully left New Nilfgaard of their own volition in the last 10 years?” Geralt asked.

“No,” you admitted.

“Zero.”

“Horseshit.”

“You’re right. There have been some. They usually release the bodies,” he gave you a humorless smile and your stomach lurched. You wanted to argue that he was trying to intimidate or bully you but he didn’t seem the type to do it. You knew bullies and the way they loved to toy with their prey. There was no enjoyment in Geralt’s eyes, just grim knowledge.

“Someone has found a way,” you insisted, “You don’t know everyone.”

“Some have found a way,” he conceded, nodding, “With our help.”

You squinted at him suspiciously and took a long drink from your now lukewarm tea.

“How?” you asked.

“I guide them across,” he said simply, as though it were just a matter of taking an escort.

“No, there’s more than that,” you insisted.

“You’re right. But I’m not telling you that unless you hire us. Security reasons,” he explained. You mulled over his words and he watched you as you thought in patient silence.

“Is this one of those things where if I say no you’re going to have to kill me?” you asked.

“No strings,” he assured you.

“There are always strings,” you argued.

“Alright, there is one thing,” he admitted, “It costs. A lot. More than an orphan who only had enough for the cheapest thing on the menu can afford.”

Your hands instinctively clutched the mug and you felt heat rise in your face, you weren’t sure whether it was embarrassment or anger but you knew your face was probably making that haughty expression the headmistress hated. Good. If he thought you were a princess he could deal with a little disdain.

“So what is this, then? A taunting offer? Or do you have some… alternative payment method you’re after?” you asked. You were inexperienced but you were not naïve. You knew what some people did to survive and though you held no judgments against them you knew it wasn’t work for you. Not yet.

“My partner asked you a question and I’d like the answer,” Geralt said, sidestepping the question, “What are you afraid of?”

You thought about scoffing and waving the question away as ridiculous but instead you found yourself answering.

“Wouldn’t you be?” you demanded, a slight note of panic in your voice as you whispered the words, “If you spent your life, as much as you could remember of it anyway, an unloved orphan and suddenly two strangers walk up to you and say oh hello, you see this horrible testament to murder and rebellion? You were one of the people they wanted dead! Also, see those people in the painting? Those are your parents! Here’s a painting of you as a child from a time you can’t even remember! Let’s take you to some relative who apparently exists and also let’s just pretend we aren’t standing in the blood of your loved ones as we work out this little deal!”

Geralt clasped a hand over one of yours in an effort to calm and soothe you.

“Some people would be happy to discover they had a family, much less an auspicious one,” he said.

“Some people are stupid. And more are dead,” you said flatly, withdrawing your hand.

“So, there is no part of you that wonders if the girl is you?” he asked. You didn’t look into his eyes as you shook your head no. He didn’t need his senses to tell him that you were lying. “And you have no interest in the fact that not only may you have family out there, but you may be their only family as well?”

“And if I’m not?” you asked, “And we’ve raised the hopes of this poor person only to dash them?”

Geralt had wondered the same himself but recited the answer he’d provided as justification.

“You don’t have to believe it just yet, Y/N, but you would not be disappointing her. I know that this is a lot to consider and take in. We’re just asking that you let us help you try,” he said. You picked at an exposed bit of wood grain in the table with your nails and thought over your options. If it was true what he said, and it certainly seemed like he was being genuine, you couldn’t get out of this country without their help or someone like them at least. And if they were right… wasn’t this what you were trying to do after all? Find your family? Isn’t that what you had promised the girls? And was it really that impossible?

“Where is she?” you asked, “This surviving member of the family.”

“Cidaris.”

The word was like an incantation. The moment he said it your face changed from skeptical to awe-struck. Your hand silently moved to the pendant around your neck and you felt an odd squeezing sensation in your chest. When your eyes met Geralt’s again he knew what your answer would be.

Jaskier had been pacing outside of the tavern, only taking breaks to perform and earn some coin, though he kept his eyes on the door as he played. He was just about to go in there, Geralt be damned, when it opened and the pair of you walked out. He glanced between you and Geralt expectantly. Geralt nodded.

“Brilliant!” Jaskier cried, face beaming as he threw back his head and laughed. You’d never known anyone who used so much of their body and felt things so strongly. It would have been annoying if he weren’t so handsome.

“One thing though,” you said, “The matter of payment…”

“Oh that will most assuredly be taken care of when we reach the end of our journey,” Jaskier said.

“But if we’re wrong,” you said. Jaskier and Geralt both noted the “we” and exchanged a glance and a smile.

“We’re not,” Jaskier insisted, taking your hands in his. Despite the bitter cold and the relatively little bit he wore (how was his undershirt half undone? Surely he would catch his death even with the layer of hair that covered his chest), his hands were warm and the moment your cold ones were clasped in them you felt yourself begin to thaw. His ocean blue eyes twinkled with excitement as he stared into yours and you let yourself be taken in by them, to gaze openly and unabashedly as he did to you. And you wondered, for the first time in your entire life, if maybe something good was just around the corner after all.

#All Is Found series #Anastasia!AU #The Witcher!AU #fanfiction

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ubcs-dump · 4 years

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Hell yes, tell us abt Mikhail. I bet you have a lot to say!

Short answer:

Long answer:

Okay so I will get real with all you guys on this one. I’ll start with a bit of a backstory with this because there is a reason why I love Mikhail so much.

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!! MENTAL ILLNESSES AND SU*C*DAL THOUGHTS MENTIONED!!!

It was about 10 years ago. Imagine a 14 year old me, sitting alone in my dark room. My depression and various other mental illnesses are geting worse every day, they have been dragging me down for years now. I am living with abusive people who love to push me down even further, mocking me and bullying me even though they are considered my family. I was broken. I was in pain. The word ‘s//ui//ci//de’ has been clouding my mind for years now.I just picked up on Resident Evil through parodies of it on youtube. I watched someone play Resident Evil 3 Nemesis online because I remember that we owned that game but I was terrified of Nemesis on the box so I didn’t play it myself.Then I saw Mikhail, how he lay on the seats of the cable car. I could tell he was in pain and I felt deeply sorry for him. But it wasn’t a special feeling because I felt sorry for all the characters in the game. The person who played the game even mocked Mikhail for his looks. At first I laughed along but then there came a specific cutscene.And then Mikhail said something.Just one sentence.One line of dialoge.

It may just be a line of dialoge for most people. Some tiny bit of character developement sprinkled in for good meassure.But boy.I felt that.Suddenly I felt a deeper connection. It felt like I could see myself in Mikhail. He’s been through hell. He watched his men die in front of him. He is bleeding like crazy. He is in pain. Both mentally and physically. He’s expressing survivors guilt and it’s eating him up on the inside. When he said that line I literally teared up.I felt understood.And when he sacrificed himself to save Carlos and Jill, I cried. Hard. I cried because I was touched by his bravery. I cried because he deserved to live. I cried. Because I looked up to him. Without even realizing it, he became my role model. Mikhail is a kind soul, he is brave, determined, always trying his best, righteous, proud, a real team player and a wonderful leader. He is the kind of person I’ve always wanted to be.He quickly became my favorite character. I still watch all of the cutscenes with him every now and again when I need to hear his voice. I also sometimes browse his REwiki page just because I feel like it. When playing the Mercenaries minigame I always pick him.After meeting him I decided to keep going too. I can’t stop, no matter how broken and in pain I am. These wounds can’t stop me from fighting. I’ll keep fighting because I believe that I can get better if I just keep going. Fighting those demons off. Ignoring everyone who tells me otherwise. After all, I can’t stop just because I’m wounded.Also he is probably my biggest fictional crush ever lol. It’s been almost 10 years and I still can’t forget him and I still love him as much as I did on day 1.

Ever since then Mikhail has been a sort of voice of reason. When I’m feeling lost I ask myself what he would do in my situation. When I notice I haven’t eaten all day again, I’d imagine him trying to give me a pep talk. He became a coping mechanism and comfort character. I’ve been looking up to him for almost 10 years now, which is pretty rare when you know that I have tons of favorite characters that come and go, but he has always been my favorite Resident Evil character ever since that day.

I love everything about him. His backstory is tragic and herioc. He used to be an excellent soldier in the Russian SFSR before the Soviet Union collapsed. His wife was part of a minority who he fought for, causing him to be concidered a terrorist in the Russian Federation. After getting arrested he was approached by Umbrella. He agreed to join them but only if Umbrella does everything they can to ensure amnesty for his men.This just shows how much he cares for his comerades and loved ones. Mikhail joined a guerrilla organization to fight for the independence of the minority group his wife was a part of. He joined Umbrella, not because he himself wanted to be free, but because his men would be free.

I also really really like his relationship with Jill in the game. I could perfectly imagine them as very good friends. The way they talk with each other and how Jill tries to calm Mikhail down and helps and encourages him while also perfectly understanding the state he is in and the feelings and worries that are clouding his mind. I just love it and I demand fanart and fanfiction of a cute platonic relationship between these two. They are cute and precious.I sadly can’t say a lot about his relationships between him and the other members of the Operation-Jackal-Trio.Mikhail and Nikolai don’t interact at all. Which is bullsh*t because Capcom actually wanted them to be brothers and interact. That would have been an amazing addition. I want it back. My fav AU, hands down.Carlos mentions Mikhails name a few times (and by a few I mean two times). Once when explaining what happened and once when Mikhail got attacked in the cable car. I’m a bit sad we didn’t see more of them together. Carlos is certainly worried about Mikhails safety but I really wish they had expanded on that a little. I just wanted to see more interaction in general.

Mikhail also influenced my art. My nickname/pen name is Uby Victor. The ‘Uby’ part comes from the way you say the first two letters of the UBCS. And Victor isn’t hard to guess haha. Some people call me Victor too and I love it!! :3I also own an olive green beret in addition to my UBCS uniform. It’s just a prop and I guess just something I’ve always wanted to own haha. Now I just need to find a way to get the patch.I tried drawing him a few times but I’m an idiot and get flustered when I do so I usually stop before it’s even finished. I will probably never be able to draw him well haha. At least not with that attitude.

He’s also the reason I realized I have a soft spot for Russian accents. Even though Ben Campbell isn’t Russian, his accent is okay and I like his performance.

!!HORRIBLY HIGH LEVEL OF HONESTY AHEAD!!

I could probably rant even more about how much I love Mikhails personality. And his looks.

Have you seen those eyes??? That is one awesome dark shade of blue. Unrealistic I know but damn. I love them. And his golden hair. I wanna run my hand through it. And those arms. Mmmh. He could throw me across a football field with those and I’d say “Thanks, daddy, please do it again!”. He looks like he gives great hugs too. He’s like a big teddy bear, hence why I call him Mischka all the time haha. Also he is top notch soft daddy material. I’m not the only one with this opinion. Also his crotch. The bulge is big. Just take my word for it. Or take a look for yourself. His full body picture is at the top of this post. You have been warned.

!!HORRIBLY HIGH LEVEL OF HONESTY OVER!!

All of this is also why I do not like his R3MAKE version at all. The original RE3: Nemesis Mikhail means so so so much to me. I associate him with recovery. I look up to him and I basically owe him my life. So seeing him be changed that drastically in the R3MAKE just broke my heart. I will stick with the original because that’s the one I like the most.

I could tell more but this is already very long lmao

EDITED tl;dr: Thank you, Mikhail. You’ve helped me more than any living human being ever did. I owe you so much. You’re an angel and I love you.

~ Mod Uby

#UBCS #Resident Evil #ubyspeaks #mikhail victor #long post

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alcalavicci · 4 years

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(Disclaimer: if you wrote this and don’t want it up, send me an ask and I’ll take it down)

Claire:

Hi, Jill,

Thanks for all the messages to make me feel welcome in the Sassies.

Well, well, where to begin. I guess I'll start from the beginning. First of all, I'm 49, and I became a Dean fan when I was 16 years old. I went to a showing of "The Dunwich Horror" with my boyfriend, and became absolutely captivated by the man on the screen. And speaking of "Dunwich," I loved the e-mail you forwarded to me where the merits of "Dunwich" were being discussed. Many people make fun of this film because of the low-budget special effects, but as was pointed out in the e-mail, Dean's performance was truly mesmerizing. You could tell he had really done his homework for that role.

After seeing that film, I began to research everything else he had done to that point (mind you, this is circa 1970). Then my life began to change, because I was put in touch with such classics such as "Sons and Lovers", "Long Day's Journey Into Night", "Compulsion", not to mention all the wonderful stuff he had done as a child actor.

Now here's the interesting part, in 1977, my husband took a job in Newport Beach, California (we had been living in my hometown in W. Va.). I remember shortly after we moved out thinking to myself, "Gosh, I'm close to Hollywood now, what if I can meet Dean Stockwell? Two years later, I was reading the Arts section of the LA Times, and saw where Dean was directing a small play called "Man With Bags" by Eugene Ionesco at the Pilot Theater in Hollywood. I told my husband that we just had to go. Being the good sport that he was (and tolerating my movie star crush) we went, and even got there an hour early. I walked into the lobby of the theater as the cast was coming in. And lo and behold, who was in the lobby pacing around. You got, Mr. Stockwell himself in full regalia. He was wearing the cowboy hat that he always wore around that time and the trademark sunglasses.

I mustered up all my nerve (remember I'm in my early 20s and fresh off the turnip truck), and walked up to him and said, "Dean Stockwell, you've been my favorite actor since I was 16 years old!" He looked me up and down (as only he can) and with that unforgettable Dean look, said, "Oh, and you're 17 now?" Well, he made me laugh and that took away a lot of my nervousness. Then if that wasn't enough, as each cast member came in, he introduced me to them like I was some long-lost friend. I'll never forget that act of generosity.

Okay, hang on, if that wasn't enough, two weeks later, I read where the artist, George Herms, was going to be at the Newport Harbor Art Museum with a retrospective of his work. I knew he was a close friend of Dean's so I, once again, asked my husband to go with me since it was right down the road. The show was wonderful (George is a marvelous artist), but no Dean. Then about halfway through it, George is up on stage and says to someone in the back, "Where's Dean? I can't go on without Dean. I need to show "Moonstone." My heart started racing. About 15 mins. later Dean comes walking in with Joy (whom he had just started dating, and Russ Tamblyn and Russ's wife (at the time) Elizabeth.

At the break, my husband and I went out the patio for refreshments. Dean who was crossing the patio came face to face with me. My husband nudged me, like "Say something!" So I said, "Hi, Dean, why aren't you at the play?" He stopped dead in his tracks with a look like "I know you, don't I?" And he said, "The play closed two weeks ago." I told him how much we enjoyed it, and then he said "Where did you get that?" And he's pointing at my wine glass. So I showed him, and he walked away to get a drink. I thought, "Okay, that's it. Well, at least I got to speak with him again. Well, guess what, instead of walking back to where Russ and Joy were, he came back and stood right beside me. This was too much, I knew I should say something, but I was shaking really hard. So I blurted out, "George was wondering where you were." And he started joking around saying, "Jeez, gimme a break already, I was just 15 minutes late!" But he said it like he was joking about George getting too up tight. He continued to just stand there, because I truly believe now looking back on it some 20 odd years later, he realized I was someone who really appreciated him for who he was and he felt comfortable around me. But my youth did me in, as I was absolutely tongue-tied at that point. I turned my head away from him and my husband said Dean turned to talk to me, saw my head was turned and bit his lip and walked away. Naturally, I went home and cried, but vowed I would never get so nervous with anyone again.

And believe it or not, that incident actually got me into what I do today. I teach an improv class for kids ages 8-12 (my daughter's 10 and in the group). I decided one must always be prepared for anything, and practicing improv is a good way to do that. We had our first "Open Mic Nite" last May. The kids started out doing improv warm-ups, then we wrapped up the evening with them performing either a poem, song, dance, skit, jokes, magic act, whatever. It was highly successful and I could see the kids get all into the moment and just blossom. I'm currently devising a class to be taught through the City, which incorporates these concepts. Also, I'm a writer, and have been for the past 25 years. I've been on staff of several national publications, but currently I'm freelancing. I published my first book this year for Entrepreneur Media. It's a trade book on home inspection. I'm also writing my own book based on my improv experiences with children. It's called "Quick on Their Feet--How Improvisational Techniques Help Children Succeed."

Anyway, thanks for letting me relive a very special time in my life. Have I seen Dean since? Once about five years later, when he was appearing in a dinner theater production of "Relatively Speaking." After the show, he was in the restaurant with his manager. No one was really around, so I walked up and told him how much I enjoyed the show and then I gave him an iris (because it's the symbol of the rainbow, and Dennis Hopper had dubbed him "Rainbow Razorbrain." He seemed truly touched. He autographed my playbill and held my hand. All I can say is he truly is a gracious, humble, almost self-effacing person. I'm sure time has only made him more so. Like that little girl said at one of the "Quantum Leap" reunions. "Dean, are you an angel?" Well, my answer is a resounding, yes!

Take care, Claire

(Note: A fan in the early 2000s, inspired by this, asked Dean about the Rainbow Razorbrain nickname. Apparently it was a nickname Dean had given himself.)

#stockwell sassies

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sleepymarmot · 6 years

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COUNTER/Weight liveblog, part 3

Finale +post-mortem

Am I glad to return to the political big picture! It's such a relief that the finale is in this format! Hopefully it won't devolve into another “fighting a giant robot” scene.

Oh, so the Chime are leading the faction game now! Somehow I completely missed the point of the two previous scenes that indicated Aria becoming the new leader of the Righteous Vanguard – I was very surprised and then 10 minutes later went “Oh that's what it was, time to go back and relisten”

Pronoun update: Austin consistently uses “they”, Art consistently uses “he”. End my suffering…

The sheer comedic impact of seven Makos, Larry and Lazer Ted all in a room together has healed my soul immediately. Can we end on this image so nothing bad happens

I'm so proud of Orth!! “I'm sorry, which one are you?” lmao

Oooh the relationship drama~ But how come Jacqui didn't know Jill was alive? Actually, now that I think of it, back then it was clearly said that Jacqui knows Jillian is back and is sad because Jillian doesn't remember her. This show's retcons…

Look I know shit must hit the fan pretty soon but for now this finale is just. So relaxing. I'm having a lot of fun listening to these squabbles. (The only exception were Mako and Orth – boys, stop fighting, why!)

That Cass & Aria scene was cool but please don't give me world leader old friends sneaking away for secret stress relief sparring sessions when I'm not supposed to start shipping them

Oh hell yeah, I was hoping that since Jacqui went with Jillian, Aria would go with Ibex. (Not very relevant here, but Ibex is from Kesh like Maryland, right? If so, there must be fanart of young Ibex and Maryland in 19th century outfits?)

Stop cryptically saying oh Sokrates isn't here, oh they aren't using their candidate name, like what's up with them?! Are they doing well? I'm worried!

Oh Orth wants to dance with Ibex huh *eyes emoji* Rematch! Rematch!

“I'll take anything” “Anything?” My mind, of course, autocompletes “Then perish”

THIS WAS A LOT and I need to take a couple of minutes to start breathing normally again. Also there just has to be a lovingly drawn fanart adaptation of this entire scene (in, like, fukcing Leyendecker style), come on fandom please say someone has done it

Jacq/Jill continuing with the heartbreaking scenes, I see

Mako doesn't like dancing now…… holy shit this is the most upsetting ball ever… (The cynical part of me must say that it's only Austin who talks about this connection, Keith doesn't and still sounds way less emotional about the whole thing than the others assume Mako to be)

I amend my previous statement, I also need fanart with snapshots of every dance: Orth firmly taking Ibex's hand and receiving a surprised but approving look, Jillian throwing her head back in laughter and Jacqui watching with a pained smile, sullen Mako leaning on a wall cross-armed and looking for an opportunity to slip away, Cass dropping his one-liner with a completely dispassionate face.

Wow Ibex is really getting ready for death. Sounds as if he knows the exact date.

HOLY SHIT THE DIVINES' ORIGIN STORY!!! FINALLY!!! I'm surprised they were all created by the same person…

I'm relieved Mako and Orth are on good terms again!

I love the new Aria as this competent politician who does a lot of swordfighting and dealing with old flames

Have I mentioned I really love the game they're playing? It almost synthesizes the best parts of the game they played previously – as if it was written just for this finale. It's so great how this show and specifically this campaign go through so many games, showing the universe and the characters from different angles, instead of having them be defined by only one game system and its limitations and quirks.

That's some real good mech if it can function for 80,000 years, Divines' body or not!

Okay, I fucking knew Liberty and Discovery would split up at some point (which is what I meant above by my expectations for AuDy's fate), but why is Liberty attacking Ibex?

Mako's robots!!! :DDD Now that's the real finale shit!

I CAN'T BELIEVE Keith missed Tower's brief appearance of all things. It's like a fucking scene from the show on the level of dramatic irony. They were truly not meant to be, even the universe in real life is saying that. Do you ever get rejected so badly that the guy you like runs away from you at the prom, and then lets you fall into a deadly portal with the rest of your planet, and then you get brainwashed, and then you are killed by an ally of that guy, and the person playing him doesn't even witness that?!

I thought Orth was going to challenge Kobus about Liberty…

“I have Liberty contained” *winces*

Every time it is asked what is Mako wearing I just mentally pull out the popcorn

“I welcome anyone to tell Cass that AuDy is a non-person”

Let me restate how much I'm loving how the scenes that in any other show would be minor fluff or short summaries in an epilogue are a legit fully rendered part of the finale

Sokrates & Orth reunion please!!

Aw Ted! It never occured to me that this comic relief character has, in fact, lost his entire planet and almost everyone he knows.

…I think I like Apokine Cass more than Chime Cass

That's a big lore dump holy cow! I'm glad Apostolosians are ex-humans after all, but I wonder how they turned into fish people

So what happened to the idea of Mako hacking Grace?

They just… went and straight up murdered two Divines… If it had happened early in the show I'd probably cheer, and no tears were shed for Grace, but Liberty… Just take a third of another player character and drive it into a sun…

Of course. I knew Sokrates is the kind of character who dies nobly in a grand finale.

I've spent all this time wondering how the piece of Voice in Mako doesn't get infected by Rigor, and it seems to finally happen and Larry seems to die repairing it, but what about all other Makos, aren't they in danger too?

This is way too easy so far, just sacrifice NPCs one by one to win.

This whole time I was assuming Mako saved as many clones as he could, not just his own… If he gets another turn I bet it's submit or die :/

Hello I'm crying over Lazer Ted! Choices in the campaign sound futile now: who cares which guy Mako saved – they both died anyway! All named NPCs did!

Except for Jacqui. Congratulations, the NPC Who Lived! (I mistyped “loved” at first, which is also relevant. And yes, I cried here too.)

How the hell would falling into a sun kill Rigor if it was previously not killed by a bomb that destroys hundreds of suns?

Poor Cass… Not only sacrificing yourself in such a difficult way, but to have a final conversation only just to learn that your friend, a passionate revolutionary further empowered by Righteousness, has deserted… The sheer contempt and disappointment he pours in just three words “Ibex told you”...

Welp. Mako's fate was not tragic like I feared! Good news I guess, but it's still kind of sad. And I think the saddest part is that Mako himself doesn't realize. Because it can just sound like the natural continuation of his character growth – after he had to learn to be the responsible one first in contrast to Larry and then to the other Makos. But it's not that, or not just that, and it's kind of chilling to hear that he never knows it, and never knows peace.

Executive Joie, oh my… It's so strange and cool how Aria somehow continues the legacy of Jace and Ibex at once.

The race is over. It's so strange that now there are no consequences to fear or spoilers to avoid.

I didn't like the final battle as much as the rest of the finale – I hoped for a more clever solution than just throwing bodies at the enemy (but I guess the intro warned me lol…). Especially since these bodies had very unequal impact – I'm not going to care about Diego Rose or Chet Wise or Orth's newly-created lieutenants or as much as I care about Jacqui -- so it felt unfair towards players/characters who had more important or likeable chracters in their faction. I'm opposed on principle to making the big confrontation feel important and emotional just by killing off characters (hi, J. K. Rowling and Russo brothers), I think it's cheap and emotionally manipulative, but in this case the emotional manipulation doesn't even work so it’s doubly disappointing.

If someone's reading this, you can see that what I expected or wanted from the story was not what it gave me, and that was frustrating or disappointing at times. But nevertheless, it was a wild ride.

I've slept on it and it still fucks me up that out of the Chime only Aria gets a genuinely happy ending! Cass is fucking dead, Liberty is dead while AuDy becomes a ghost, and Mako loses everyone and is lonely for the rest of his life!

It's so strange to listen to the opening theme in the post-mortem and think that this is the second-to-last time. (Relistens don't count, it's not the same thing.) By the way, I love that theme – it sounds like a half song with the words on the tip of my tongue, like space, or like city at night. Really atmospheric.

I love how everyone continues to be into that moment where Aria has the opportunity to kill Cass lol (I am too)

Yeah, thanks for reminding me about that coin toss moment for Kobus in the finale, that was so sudden and shocking I was completely losing it for the long few seconds it lasted

I'm glad someone asked whether Jack knew the Big Spoiler in advance – he was so calm about it in the following episodes that I started wondering

Oh so it wasn't my imagination that the players needed the comic relief of the Lazer Ted episode no less than the characters

After a sad talk about Mako's dead friends, Andi, cheerfully: “I love to kill and I love to hurt and I never regretted anything I ever did! :D” which won the least surprising comment of the hour award lol. Honestly, after that one scene with Diego I started to get a bit nervous whenever Andi announced they had an idea… C/w was fun because I now realize the cinnamon roll Aubrey was actually them playing against type.

I love that someone asked about Mako's first kiss and/or Orth's fandom life!!

Keith's answer is sad, though… He “had literally never considered Mako even being capable of kissing someone, like it wasn't something on the table” and that was unexpected to me. I'd mentioned several times that he sounded reluctant to play up the romance, but I was assuming it was the player's preference, not an innate trait of the character whose attraction to someone was a part of his character creation. How do I interpret it? Mako is aro? Mako never had a chance to properly grow emotionally because his youth was fake and for the rest of his life, all emotional connections were sabotaged by Rigour's shadow, and also literally all his potential love interests died? Ugh, I just keep making myself more and more upset.

Holy shit I forgot about Art asking if there's an old Apostolosian mech on September by any chance lmao

Cene always knew?! Holy shit w h a t

It's nice to hear Ali talk about her growth in confidence as a player because she's definitely kind of an inspiration – for years I've thought tabletop roleplaying is too intense and I'll never do it, but when I finally tried out it was not so scary, so maybe there's hope for me too!

The concept that the real challenge of the final battle was that the easier it would be to defeat Rigor, the worse shape would the world be afterwards sounds much better than what that battle actually felt like to me. Instead of paying for victory with the health of society and their faction's political power, in the actual gameplay they paid with NPCs from their circle and that was it; the political consequences came later and sounded entirely unrelated. Maybe if they had to go against their faction's goals or sacrifice its assets – e.g. “use Minerva's Rigor-tech mechs in exchange for the promise to leave them alone afterwards” instead of “sacrifice all Mako clones”… Aria had something similar with Weight, but it was the price of Jacqui's life, not the price of a victorious battle against Rigour.

It's very cool to learn where the sound effects in the theme come from! And god, every line as its own take? My head hurts just imagining that…

Austin getting distracted by the idea of fucking Rigor was hilarious, but I never, ever want to hear the word “daddy” in this context! What's with these jokes this season, ew, please stop.

Excuse me, Ali wanted to kiss Ibex as who exactly, Jace or Aria? Both options are equally crazy!

See, “You wanna say ‘Oh he was just doing what was necessary, he was just doing the thing that's good in the end’, and yeah that's him working on you” is exactly why he reminds me of Dukat! Literally the same mind game on the viewers/listeners!

Why is the link broken, I want to see AuDy in Titanfall!

Listening to team “Fuck Ibex!” and team “Fuck Ibex ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” yell at each other is very entertaining

“Nobody on the Kingdom Come is cishet” is a nice sentiment but I'm kind of confused by which definition of cis Cass is not. Have I missed something about them changing pronouns in-universe? Just because English doesn't have exact analogies for the Apostolosian pronouns doesn't mean everyone who uses them isn't following their own society's conventions. And now Austin also's saying “We never wanted to say these pronouns are equivalent to gender” which is, a, not true, and b, sends the whole problem back to square one – because if that's not the Apostolosian gender then what is? This! Is! A! Mess!

#friends at the table #blah blah blah

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jalilaloui · 3 years

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30 Inappropriate Jokes That Will Make You Both Laugh and Cringe.

WE PROMISE YOU'LL CRACK A SMILE; WE CAN'T PROMISE YOU WON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

It's been said that analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people have an interest, and therefore the frog dies due to it. So we cannot delve too deeply into why we love inappropriate jokes so much—you know, the type of humor that wont to be called "NSFW" when most folks were still at an office and not performing from home.

1- My penis was within the Guinness Book of World Records, on the other hand, the librarian told me to require it out.

2- Having sex in an elevator is wrong. On numerous levels 3- What does one call a man who cries when he masturbates? A tearjerker. 4- What did the banana tell the vibrator? "Why are you shaking? She's getting to eat me!" 5- What's brown and really bad for your dental health? Lumber. 6- What quiet bees make milk? Boo-bees. I'll always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing in here thereupon hammer?" 7- How does one get a person with just one arm out of a tree? Wave. 8- Why did the snowman suddenly smile? He could see the snowblower coming. 9- What's a 6.9? Another great point screwed up by a period. 10- What did the elephant ask the naked man? "How does one exhale of that thing?" 11- What does one call a nanny with breast implants? A faux-pair. 12- Did you hear about the person who was accidentally buried alive? it had been a grave mistake. 13- They say that breakfast is the most vital meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the foremost important. 14- Young Asian women laughing at a joke Shutterstock/interstid

15- My dad is strictly like Santa. I hear numerous goodies about him, but he only visits our home once a year, and that I never even see him.

16- Sex is sort of a burrito, don't unwrap or that baby's in your lap. 17- Did you hear about the person who ran ahead of a bus? He got tired. 18- Jack and Jill went up Capitol Hill to possess a touch of fun. But careless Jill forgot her pill and now they need a son. 19- What does one do if your wife starts smoking? hamper and use some lubricant. 20- Do you want to listen to a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you'll never catch on. 21- Friends are like trees, they go over if you hit them with an ax. 22- When I die, I would like to be cremated. It's my last chance to possess a smokin' hot body. 23- I once saw a one-handed man during a thrift shop. I told him, "I don't think they need what you are looking for, sir." 24- How does one find a blind person at a nude beach? it is not hard. 25- Give a man an airplane ticket and he flies for the day, but push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the remainder of his life. 26- If you're walking through the forest and stumble across a body, what is the very first thing you ought to do? Check your map, because you're obviously getting into circles. 27- What does one call an inexpensive circumcision? A cheat. 28- What does a vampire do with boiling water and a tampon? Make tea. 29- What does a horned lizard say? "Rub it."

30- What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? you'll unscrew a lightbulb.

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bananochu · 6 years

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85 statements tag

tagged by @lily-blue thank you 🌹

last

1. drink - tea 2. phone call - my colleague 3. text message - some stupid spam lmao they won’t let me live 4. song you listened to - one republic – counting stars 5. time you cried - i don’t even remember, adult life it’s when you are like ‘i wanna cry but i don’t have time to’

ever

6. dated someone twice - sadly yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it - yes 8. been cheated on - no 9. lost someone special - yes 10. been depressed - all the time ?? 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - i don’t drink that much

fave colours

12. purple 13. black 14. green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - i guess? 16. fallen out of love - no 17. laughed until you cried - idk 18. found out someone was talking about you - no 19. met someone who changed you - yes 20. found out who your friends are - yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i dont have facebook but only one person on my social medias met me irl ONCE 23. do you have any pets - i have a cat 24. do you want to change your name - if it wasn’t too difficult, yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday - spent a whole day with my mom 26. what time did you wake up today - 11 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - watched bts cracks on youtube 28. what is something you cant wait for - my upcoming bts seasons greetings and mic drop single damn i’m waiting for so long 30. what are you listening to right now - fleurie – hurts like hell 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - nope 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - life 33. most visited website - youtube, i used to watch so many horror game playthroughs lately bc i have no courage to actually play them 34. hair colour - it’s weird ginger with dark red or idek i fucked up dying my hair (as always) 35. long or short hair - short 36. do you have a crush on someone - i have a ‘do i have a crush on you or am i just lonely’ phase 37. what do you like about yourself - my own world inside my head that i live in 38. want any piercings? - yes 39. blood type - b 40. nicknames - jeal, jill and so on 41. relationship status - single 42. zodiac - taurus 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - i don’t really watch TV 45. tattoos - none 46. right or left handed - both 47. ever had surgery - yes 48. piercings - none 49. sport - does learning bts choreos count? 50. vacation - ... 51. trainers - vans?

more general

52. eating - oatmeal 53. drinking - coffee, tea 54. i’m about to watch - baby driver 55. waiting for - nothing 56. want - to go to sleep bc it’s late 57. get married - no way 58. career - who is she never heard of her

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - none 60. lips or eyes - eyes 61. shorter or taller - shorter 62. older or younger - older 63. nice arms or stomach - nice arms 64. hookup or relationship - none 65. troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no 67. drank hard liquor - thats the only alcohol i can tolerate so... 68. lost glasses - no 69. turned someone down - yes 70. sex on first date - no 71. broken someone’s heart - i hope so 72. had your heart broken - so many times i don’t even think i have any left to break 73. been arrested - no 74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - yes

do you believe in

76. yourself - rarely 77. miracles - maybe... 78. love at first sight - no 79. santa claus - no 80. kiss on a first date - no 81. angels - yes

other

82. best friend’s name - what is bestfriend? can i eat it? 83. eye colour - hazel green 84. fave movie - i rewatch the twilight movies at least a few times a year 85. fave actor - leonardo di caprio

seems like everyone's already done this so im tagging no one

#tag games

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julesthxmas · 7 years

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tagged by my beautiful sunshine girl @bianaprnce thank u much, honey!

Rules: answer all the questions and tag 20 other blogs (tagged at the end of the post)

last:

1. drink: grape soda 2. phone call: my mama! she called me from work 3. text message: telling my aunt that my grandma was still asleep 4. song you listened to: tell that devil by jill andrews lmao i was in a we mood 5. time you cried: a few hours ago,, 6. dated someone twice: unfortunately, yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. been cheated on: ,,,,yes 9. lost someone special: yeah 10. been depressed: everyday of my life buddy 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: whoops thats a big ole yes

3 favorite colors

12. pastel yellow (anything too bright hurts my eyes) 13. pink 14. purple

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yeah! (not irl tho lol) 16. fallen out of love: no? 17. laughed until you cried: yeah 18. found out someone was talking about you: nah 19. met someone who changed you: yeah 20. found out who your friends are: thats a big ole yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: i dont have facebook!

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i dont have facebook! 23. do you have any pets: i do! two kitties! quinn and riley! 24. do you want to change your name: nah, im not the biggest fan of my name but i wouldnt change it 25. what did you do for your last birthday: my best friends took me to see wonder woman!!! best bithday ever! 26. what time did you wake up: ,,,midnight. my sleeping schedule is kinda fucked 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i just woke up 28. name something you can’t wait for: this weekend!! its my friends birthday and we’re going to a little resort type thing for the night and then her parents are throwing a party the next day 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a few days ago 31. what are you listening to right now: just my spotify 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: i have this pain on my side thats bugging tf out of me 34. most visited website: youtube 35. hair color: very dark brown 36. long or short hair: long ish? 37. do you have a crush on someone: always 38. what do you like about yourself: im kind of a mother hen to my friends and i like it for the most part 39. piercings: nothing but my ears 40. blood type: no clue 41. nickname: illy, ellie, lala, lily, billy,,,my family has many 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: gemini 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: wynonna earp! and i started watching brooklyn nine nine and i Love it! 46. tattoos: none right now but i want one v badly 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: never 50. sport: i used to play basketball in like the second grade??? but thats it 52. pair of trainers: literally just one pair that i never use

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: nothing right now 54. drinking: same as above 55. I’m about to: watch a video and try to stay awake! 56. waiting for: this weekend! 57. want: answers from a few different people 58. get married: maybe? idk 59. career: dream? i get to travel around the world and write about where i visit what im going to school for soon? nurse

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: i Love affection so both all the time 61. lips or eyes: oh boy, both are amazing but for some reason lips draw me in 62. shorter or taller: dont care 63. older or younger: older or my age. even a year younger or something is weird to me 64. nice arms or nice stomach: on another person? umm stomach i guess 65. hookup or relationship: relationship. hookups are nice and all but i had a bad experience and now its just not something i want 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. always. my two best friends are troublemakers, i have to be hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: nope 68. drank hard liquor: yup 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: lost my glasses once when i first starting wearing them (i was seven to be fair) 70. turned someone down: yeah 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: my ex might say i did? 73. had your heart broken: by a friend 74. been arrested: nope 75. cried when someone died: of course 76. fallen for a friend: ,,,,,,,,,,,,yes,,,,and it was awful i dont recommend

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: sometimes?? 78. miracles: i like to 79. love at first sight: not really, no 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: sure! 82. angels: idk

OTHER:

84. eye color: brown 85. favorite movie: wonder woman, clueless, funny girl, all cheerleaders must die,, i cant choose one

tagged: @autistickryptonian @scottymalia @antniobanderas @ronniescoopre @pineapplejerky @trimbxrly @moodyandbifurious @profoundmischeifmaker and 20 is alot of people to tag so im gonna stop here, but if u wanna do it, just go ahead and tag me!

#about me #this was v long but i liked it!#thank u alanna baby!

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justsomeonewhowrites · 7 years

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prologue - part two

book: the devil is my saviour

masterlist

"The past is never where you think you left it."

- Katherine Anne Porter

• • •

It was my mother's banquet to celebrate something of which she didn't fully tell me. She had just said it was very important to which I just shrugged and hoped I didn't have to wear a dress. But I guess I didn't hope enough because she had somehow coaxed me into the dress. It was a black dress, the kind of ones that flared out at the waist and reached my knee. I played with the hem of the dress as I scanned the hall to see it filled with lots of grown adults' that claimed to know my mother. My mother was standing proud, a wine glass cupped in her right hand - the colour of the liquid inside matching the elegant wine coloured dress she wore. The people around her laughed at some joke she told and she laughed as well. She seemed at ease for what felt like a long time.

"Livvy stop playing with your dress." My grandma warns and I sigh but stop not wanting to get in even more trouble than I was for putting such a fight when I had to put my dress on.

I rest my head on the table that while okay for grown ups it wasn't okay for 5 year olds like me. It was awfully too tall and I had to sit on a special chair to reach it. I sigh loudly to let my boredom be known and it was. My grandma had noticed. Granny Jen always noticed things when it came to what I did and how I felt. Even before I knew what I felt - she knew like some kind of magic power.

"Livvy why don't you go and play with the other kids. Your sister is." Grandma insists. I look over to the area where all the small kids had gathered and sure enough I saw my sister sitting there, laughing and playing. But the scene didn't entice me.

I frown and look to the right of me where my brother was sat, he was picking at his food looking as bored as I did. I look in front of me where my grandmother was sitting opposite.

"I want to stay with Jax." I declare. She smiles warmly at Jax who had his eyes now focused on me, then smiles at me.

"I think Jax wants to go to his friends."

He shrugs, "Let's go dance, Liv."

I smile and get up from my seat. My brother follows taking my hand and pulling me to the dance floor. The sound of the First And Last Waltz playing loud and surrounding the hall.

He took both hands and I lean my head up to look at him. He was 10 and one of the taller ones, "Put your feet on mine." He says and I obey him immediately. I wasn't wearing my shoes, those pumps were long forgotten - left under the table; leaving my feet covered with only tights.

He led me around one step at a time, gliding across the hall and we laugh together. It definitely beat playing with people I didn't want to. We dance and dance until the night ended and our legs were hurting.

It was late by the time we had returned back at home. I had taken the dress of and changed into my comfortable lion king pyjama's - getting ready for bed.

My mother always told us a nursery rhyme before we slept and of all the nursery rhymes this had always been her favourite, I didn't know why. It was one of those things I never understood. She would always try to tell my sister and I different nursery rhymes every night but somehow she would find herself back to this one.

I clung to Jacky - my teddy bear that my brother had bought me for my birthday while my mother tried to tuck us in bed. Even though I wasn't tired in the slightest, I couldn't say the same for my sister who was practically sleeping as we brushed our teeth.

My mother sat down at the middle of my bed as I laid on it tucked under the duvet.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water." She starts in the voice she always had for nursery rhymes and I almost sigh when I recognize the nursery rhyme straight away. "Jack fell down and broke his crown."

"Then Jill came tumbling after." I finish and she smiles at me. I huff. "Momma I don't like that one."

She doesn't look shocked but intrigued, "-and whys that?"

I shrug, "Jack got hurt and because of that Jill got hurt."

She chuckles lightly. "Sort of like you and Jax then." She says and I frown biting my lip, trying to understand how this resembled my brother and I.

"How?"

"Well when Jax broke his arm. What did you do?" She asks and I furrow my eyebrows in thought.

"Hoped he get better?"

"Before that."

Like a light bulb idea the day came back to me how much I was crying when Jax came home with a broken arm even though I didn't see the gory bits and I knew he would get better. I still cried because he was in pain.

"I cried." I state and she smiles warmly.

"Yes you did - you cried because he was in pain, you were hurt by the fact that he was hurt. In the story Jack was in pain and because of that Jill followed after to check if he was alright because she felt hurt."

I smile a toothy smile, or a non toothy smile as I had already been losing some of my teeth.

"So I'm Jill and Jax is Jack." I confirm and she nods. Just like that my perception of the once nursery rhyme was boring and repetitive seemed fun and adventurous. "I like it now, can you tell it tomorrow?"

"Of course I can."

I nod continuously then stop, "Mom?"

"Yeah Liv."

"Did you have fun today?" I ask. "You looked like you did."

She narrows her eyes at me as if she were trying to figure me out. She ruffles my head and I groan.

"Your too old for your age. Your so special."

I smile brightly but my mind instantly thinks of a question I had been meaning to ask and I had reverted to frowning.

"What's wrong darling?"

"When's dad coming back?" I say my voice sounding soft.

She sighs quietly and presses her lips onto my forehead, "Soon." She murmurs. "Soon. But for now get some sleep, so you have enough energy for when he comes."

Almost as if I'm scared that when he comes that's when tiredness will hit me, I slam my head on the pillow in a rush to sleep and I hear my mother chuckle from the doorway. The light switches off and I was in complete darkness.

"Goodnight Livvy."

"Goodnight Momma."

And I think that's what started it, I think on that night I had put the stimulus that maybe my father wasn't coming back and the nightmares started.

"It's okay Liv. Its okay." A voice pleads, shaking my body vigorously. My eyes open and I frown realising I was not in my bed but in my mothers arm.

"What happened momma?"

She smiles, "You were screaming, you had a bad dream?"

I nod and hide my head on her hair.

She rocks me, "Time to go back to bed yeah?"

I shake my head, "Can I sleep with you?"

She nods and carries me out of my room. That's where it started, those vivid images. Why? I don't know. But what I know is it continuously haunts me and I can't do anything about it.

#smut #fluff #romance #fiction #wattpad #writing #prompts #newbook

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Betta Lovers Guide.

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/betta-lovers-guide/

Betta Lovers Guide.

Buy Now

From: Marcus Song Written: Saturday, 9:07 A.M.

Dear Fellow Betta Lover,

Alone in the bathroom, feeling helpless as my kids cried. I’d just had to flush Ruddy, our beloved betta fish, down the toilet.

On a cold, bleak winter day a few years ago, that was the final sad result of the first betta fish I’d bought.

It shouldn’t have ended up that way. I remember the first time I went into a pet store and saw that majestic looking betta, bright red with flowing fins, crammed into a tiny little plastic cup.

There wasn’t enough room for him to swim. Heck, he couldn’t even move. Nor could he even spread out those amazing fins.

So I decided I had to buy that noble fish. I had to save his life and give him the happiness he deserved after being treated so cruelly by the pet store.

But only a few months after taking him home, I failed. It seemed like even though I did everything I thought I should, my betta still died.

I tried again with other bettas. They did okay (living average lifespans), but it seemed like there would always be something wrong with them. A betta would stop eating for days. The next week another betta’s beautiful fins would split… and then never heal… no matter what I did.

Then there would be the persistent fin rot popping up on my fish.

I kept their water insanely clean. I treated them like pampered royalty, catering to all their wants. I followed all the instructions I could.

But still, there was always something. I got so tired of it. I’m a grown man — which makes me ashamed to admit this — but there were days I broke down and cried. I love bettas and want to do everything I can for them.

About the only thing I had going for me was my persistence — my ability to do in-depth research and my drive to become a good “betta parent.”

I figured it might be a waste of time, but I kept up my research… for 4 years, spending a total of $12,400 in the process. I interviewed betta fish experts (even traveling to Thailand on one occasion and Singapore another time, to pick the brains of the world’s foremost betta experts).

I bought all the products I could find (exotic fish foods, every conceivable tank accessory, etc.), learning everything about them.

I intensely studied everything I could to discover the insider secrets. I spent literally thousands of hours toiling on the Internet, burying myself in stacks of books at the library, and buying up and devouring every book on fish I could find.

And what I uncovered changed the life of my bettas in a big, big way.

You see, I went from this frustrated, aggravated guy who was ready to give up on trying to keep bettas…

To suddenly finding myself with thriving bettas swimming happily in their tanks… where anyone who came over to our house would be enchanted by their bright colors and magnificent fins… and then would literally beg me to teach them my secrets.

My friends would tell me of their bad experiences with bettas. It was too much work to keep the water clean… or their bettas got sick… or they had to spend so much money it was no longer worth the hassle if their betta’s health was just going to wither away no matter what they did.

Do These Downsides of Owning a Betta Sound Familiar?

Since becoming an expert when it comes to bettas… and getting into breeding them professionally (I now own 207 bettas!)… I have experienced not only my own problems in the beginning but also heard so many horror stories from people.

Below are unedited examples of things people wrote to me when I was putting together my guide:

“I feel frustrated because I had to replace yet another water heater. It cost me $30. Not to mention the cost of gas to drive to the pet store. Plus the 2 hours of my life that I spent going on my pet store errand. And on top of that, I still wasn’t even sure that I’d gotten the right water heater!” – Jason M., Sacramento, California

Jason went on to tell me how the hobby of betta keeping cost him a hundred times more than he thought it would.

That is how, he concluded, the pet stores suck you in. They cram bettas into cups so tiny they can’t even stretch their fins. You feel sorry for the bettas and buy one of them for 5 or 10 dollars… take him home… and then find out you then have to buy hundreds of dollars of equipment — which might not even work!

Here’s what one woman said who was ready to quit keeping bettas:

“My bettas get sick so much of the time and so many of them die. It makes me feel like an awful fish mommy. It takes so much anguish to nurse them back to health, or they die and I have to cry about the horrible loss of my pet.” – Jill Stevens, of Atlanta, Georgia

I heard from a lot of other frustrated betta owners as well:

“It’s too much work. I hate having to change the water so much.” – Jeff P., Barstow, California

“Mopes around with no energy and I donno what to do.” – William Tan, Singapore

“I worry that my betta will be okay if I take a vacation and leave him home for a few days.” – Julie Boyd, SeaTac, Washington

“Will the water heater break and then cause a fire that burns down my house? Will the aquarium leak and flood, causing thousands of dollars in structural damage to my house?” – Jason M., Sacramento, California

Bettas Don’t Have to be Complicated… If You Use the Methods I Will Give You

In fact, bettas can be very low maintenance. They can be inexpensive to take care of. They can be happy and healthy. And it’s easy to do with the information you’ll discover in the coveted guide I created.

More on that in a minude, but first…

Do You Know Why People Like Bettas So Much?

1. Their amazing good looks. Everyone’s amazed by the rich colors of my bettas and their dramatic fins. They’re stunning little creatures. In my large collection of bettas I’ve got everything you can imagine. There’s Rusty, who’s red with shiny green fins. Kermit, who’s green. Marvin, my marble. Sunny, my solid yellow. Mermaid, my turquoise beauty.

2. Bettas have personality, unlike so many other types of fish. They wag their tails, have minds of their own, and enchant people with their cute antics. To display their personality they do need to be healthy and happy though, and I’ll give you the secrets to make it easy for you.

3. They’re addictive! Once you unlock the secrets of how to care for them, how can you not fall in love with the sight of their wiggly, vibrant bodies excited to see you? How can you not become fascinated by all of those radiant colors swimming around?

The Secrets of Having Cheerful, Peppy, and Long-Lived Betta Fish… Without Having to Spend a Lot of Cash… And Without Ever Having to Do Much Work!

You see, once you have these secrets all the “work” of caring for betta fish will be done for you… automatically!

You can just “flip on” the ideal conditions… and… instantly bring stunning… and thriving… bettas into your life!

And rest assured: my guide isn’t just some picture book like you find in the pet stores. You know what I mean — they have incredible pictures of bettas, but the text itself is just fluff and filler.

Instead my guide is packed with useful information gleaned from the most hush-hush secrets revealed to me by betta breeders to raise the most incredible fish. They work for anyone, anywhere and at any time (no matter how bad of a “betta parent” you think you are right now).

Taking care of your betta is easy and inexpensive. Caring For Betta Fish: An Insider’s Guide For Betta Lovers by Marcus Song will show you how!

Not too long ago, I package up all these secrets in a concise package I call Caring For Betta Fish: An Insider’s Guide For Betta Lovers.

Rather than having to go through a struggle, you can simply read what’s in my guide and easily discover all the advanced secrets contained within… without having to go through all of the toil and expense that I did. And — without making all the mistakes that I did.

I wrote it in plain, conversational English that’s easy to follow. Even if you’ve never owned a betta before and don’t know the first thing about them (other than you want one). As a complete system, my guide will reveal to you everything you need to know about your bettas.

Some people call it the lazy person’s way to easy betta fish care. It’ll save you so much time and worry (not to mention money) that you can start enjoying your bettas for a change.

Here’s a quick look at just a few of the valuable techniques I share with you:

The ideal water temperature, thoroughly tested by 27 expert breeders, to keep a betta’s tank. Water temperature is extremely important. It can make your fish lively (not sluggish) and even keep destructive bacteria to a minimum so that your Betta is happy and healthy. I also reveal how you can keep the water temperature at that ideal level. (Page 24.)

When you put a betta into a brand new tank, there can often be high levels of ammonia build-up, which makes your fish sick. You’ll learn how to avoid that, using my very private “seeding” method. (Page 25)

Good news: despite what you might have heard, bettas don’t necessarily have to live by themselves, as long as you follow these 9 rules. (Page 22)

You an even have two males in the same tank together (and they won’t fight with each other!) under these special conditions. (Page 21)

Learn what the best food is to give your betta and why. You’ll also learn what treats should only be given in moderation. You won’t need to worry anymore about whether you’re feeding your betta nourishing foods, since you’ll know what exactly to do. (Chapter 6)

Plus… what to do if your betta won’t eat. Don’t be alarmed. Just follow these two simple steps. (Page 32)

The exact time of day, according to biologists, when it’s best to feed your betta. (Page 34)

A guide to boosting your betta’s life expectancy. It’s normal to become highly attached to your little one. Follow these unbreakable rules and your Betta will be alive and thriving for as long as possible. (Page 49)

What you must do before bringing home your new pet betta. Doing this simple series of steps can avoid having your fish die from “New Tank Syndrome.” (Page 20)

What it means when the tank keeps getting a foul smell even though you cleaned it… and what you can do to get rid of the odor once and for all. (Page 32)

Give even the most aggressive male bettas the best possible life of socializing with other bettas — without any risk whatsoever of there being a fight! (Page 13)

Bettas have a unique ability to breathe the same air we do. Discover why this means bettas should be in a different kind of tank than other types of fish — and how specifically to make your tank “betta-friendly” so your little one can breathe as easily as possible. (Page 8)

How to safely and humanely prevent your Betta from jumping out of his bowl. (Bettas must not dry out — which is what could happen if they jump out of their bowl — causing them to die.) (Page 8)

My very private method of giving your betta the means to live a long, vigorous life. (Page 13)

If you ever are going to take your betta to a show competition, your little guy will need to flare for the judges. I’ll show you an easy, insider’s trick used by top betta breeders to get them to flare practically on command. Even if you’ll never go to a show, this trick will make your friends ask you what your secret is. (Page 13)

If you do decide to get your betta from a pet store (as most hobbyists do) watch for these 7 danger signs and you’ll maximize the chances of bringing home a happy betta. (Page 16)

The 7 steps of introducing your betta to his new environment. (I cover everything from the best place to put your betta’s tank to how exactly to put him into the new tank so that he doesn’t go into shock and possibly die) (Page 19)

How to train your betta to swim around the tank in whatever pattern you command. Your friends will be dazzled! (Page 55)

Does It Seem Like No Matter What You Do, There’s Always Something Wrong With Your Betta?

That is a common problem. You see, bettas die easily.

And the death of a Betta can be devastatingly sad for those who experience it. Your friends simply don’t understand that it’s not “just a fish.” It’s your baby that you loved and looked after with all your heart.

I have experienced this all too well myself.

Ever want to see how many people give up on the hobby of keeping bettas (and fish in general)? Check out your local newspaper’s classifieds. There’ll be tanks and aquariums for sale — and maybe even fish themselves.

It’s just one thing after another. Eventually what was once a fun, relaxing hobby… becomes a big headache having to deal with one health issue after another. And the worst part about it is that it’s not your fault, because you did the best you could!

That’s why I provide a complete Troubleshooting Guide that will list every symptom of illness. It then reveals what the possible causes of the symptoms are — then tells you what exactly to do about them. It’s like having your own fish expert right there at your beck and call. No matter what the problem is you’re having — and no matter what time of day — the expert is right there to take you by the hand and help you.

In the Troubleshooting Guide you’ll learn what it means when you see these symptoms, and what you can do to easily solve them:

Your bettas lose their appetite and become sluggish. (Page 36)

Your betta has cloudy eyes. (Page 43)

You see split or shredded fins. (Page 38)

Your betta loses color or develops horizontal stripes. (Page 39)

Your betta’s body is swollen. You may see him floating on his side at the top of the water unable to balance himself. Maybe he even has trouble breathing. (Page 40)

One or both of your betta’s eyes are bulging. Your betta may also lose his appetite and become less energetic. (Page 45)

Your betta’s fins are withering away and disintegrating. (Page 46)

What to do about ick, a condition where your betta has small white spots on his skin and fins that look like salt crystals. Ick is a bacterial infection that drains your fish’s energy until he dies. The good news is that you can add this substance (available at any grocery store) to your betta’s tank. This is a much cheaper option than buying expensive ick medication — and usually is just as effective. (Page 41)

What exactly to do about fin rot so that it heals and never comes back. (Page 45.)

Three signs that the water could be poisoning your Betta… and three recommended, reliable ways to check for poison… and then remedy the situation. (Page 36.)

I wrote the Troubleshooting portion of my betta guide to be your permanent resource… right there at your fingertips whenever you need it. Even years from now, you’ll be able to pull up — in seconds — everything you need to know to keep your betta healthy.

Did You Know There’s An Easy Way To Reduce the Amount of Water Changes You Have to Do by 70% to 80%?

You don’t need to be a math whiz to know that cleaner water means that much less work! Here’s the secret: You can do this using a decorative plant you can put into your betta’s aquarium that eats up nitrites and ammonia that your betta produces as waste products.

That means you won’t need to clean your tank as often, and your Betta will be happier and healthier, since he’ll be swimming in cleaner water.

The best part about this plant is how easy it is to grow, as it doesn’t require direct sunlight, doesn’t lay roots, and sinks right to the bottom of the tank.

And it’ll make your aquarium look so much more beautiful — not to mention your fish will love resting on its leaves! I reveal the step by step instructions… as well as showing you places you can get this plant easily and cheaply (and it’s not your local pet store)… on page 26.

That’s just the beginning. You’ll also discover…

Does your betta need to be in a larger tank? Watch for these 3 warning signs that indicate your little one feels too confined. (Page 8)

Are you stuck on what to name your betta? It can be a challenge since you’re pretty much stuck with whatever name you choose. And if you have a good name, you’ll feel so much closer to your fish. Well, all you need to do is answer this one simple question, and you’ll be able to easily come up with a name. (Page 21)

Do not, under any circumstances, place your tank in either of these areas, because it could cause your betta to die. (Page 25)

A special trick to giving your betta the socialization he needs, even if he’s all by himself! (Page 14)

How to prevent bettas from fighting. (Page 12)

Whenever you need to transport your betta (like when you move or when you take your betta home from the pet store)… follow these 9 rules and you’ll make sure your little one arrives alive at your house. (Page 18)

Did you know that there is a high death rate of bettas introduced to a new aquarium? It’s caused by a lack of beneficial bacteria. I’ll give you the 6 certain steps you need to take to avoid having your bettas get poisoned this way. (Page 20)

You probably know you should NEVER put two males in the same aquarium together. However, there’s an exception to the rule, using this top secret technique to simulate conditions from nature, which allows you to get away with having up to two males (and 4 or so females) together in a 10+ gallon tank… with zero problems whatsoever! (Page 22)

If you’ve been using bottled water for your betta, you’ve been wasting your money. I’ll show you the best kind of water to use (and no, it’s not water from directly out of your tap). (Page 28)

I Always Get Asked — “But What About Cleaning a Betta’s Tank? Is There An Easy Way to Do It?” You Bet. See page 31 for details on my very private 6-step method.

A guide to getting your male betta used to having a female in his tank. (Page 12)

How to add a betta to your existing aquarium community (made up of non-bettas) without there being a fight or any kind of trouble. (Page 22)

At a bare minimum for your betta to be happy, plan to have this much water. (Page 24)

If you buy a used tank, use these special ingredients (NOT soap, which can harm your betta) to make the tank clean and safe for your little one. (Page 25)

Sometimes an overly excited male betta will bite his own tail, resulting in injury. Use these 5 specific steps to create a soothing environment that stops this harmful behavior. (Page 14)

What to do when getting a water heater to make sure you’re getting the one you need. This tip could save you $50 or more because it will make sure you get the right heater you need the first time. (Page 25)

A 100% foolproof method to prevent your betta from ever nipping at you. (Page 15)

If you’re not using a water filtration system, it’s important you follow this 6-step water cleansing procedure. (Page 29)

Learn the best kind of filtration system to use. (Page 30)

Why you don’t need an outside power filter for your betta’s tank, no matter how large it is. (Page 30)

Why you should use strong caution when it comes to using powered filters. (Page 31)

Train your betta to jump through a hoop! Can you imagine how impressed your friends will be when they see that? I reveal the step by step instructions on page 56.

If you notice a foul smell from your betta’s bowl, here’s why. And here’s what you can do about it. (Page 32)

The healthiest food you can feed your betta. (It’s the food that top breeders use.) Plus a special insider trick you can use with that food to make it easier to feed to your fish. (Page 33)

And That’s Just a Small Sample of What You’ll Discover With My System

Do you know what the exciting part is? That you can be learning these secrets to having a healthy, strong, and beautiful betta… without spending much money or having to worry… and all without having to do much work… in just two minutes from now.

That’s because I’ve made my guide digital… which means you can have it instantly! There’s no need to wait day after day for a box to arrive in the mail. And there’s no need to wait in line at a bookstore.

Instead you’ll get immediate access to this valuable information so you can start applying it right away.

If you haven’t ever downloaded anything off the Internet before, don’t worry — I’ll give you easy directions. (Even my 72 year-old father-in-law — who has a phobia of computers — was able to download and read the material without a hitch.)

Plus I’m here to help you. If you have trouble, just shoot me a quick email and I’ll help you get your copy ASAP.

Click here to secure your copy of my system and give your betta fish a wonderful life (immediate download)!

Secrets the Pet Stores Don’t Want You to Know

Many pet stores unfortunately just see the money involved and couldn’t care less about the animals they sell. That’s why they cram bettas into those tiny cups. More bettas in more tiny cups means more money for them.

What pet stores don’t tell you is how expensive they make betta keeping for you. Sure you can buy that poor betta who you’re saving from a life of being crammed into that tiny cup… but then you discover that heaters and other equipment cost a lot more than they told you it would. (But the problem is you don’t know what equipment to get!)

Then on top of that the pet stores make money when your fish die. Why? Because you’re just going to buy more fish of course!

They don’t always intend to be money grubbing of course. The typical pet store employee simply counts the hours till they can clock out of work and go get more beer and cigarettes. Certainly compassion for the animals… or for your wallet… does not mean a thing to them.

Well, the good news is that with my guide you can save your money. I reveal to you all of the secrets that the pet stores don’t want you to know. You’ll be laughing all the way to bank as you discover one money-saving tip after another.

Please take a look at what some of my readers have said…

“Just downloaded your book(s) yesterday, I’m about halfway through Caring for Betta Fish and thoroughly enjoying it! As was stated on your website I’m sorry that I didn’t download them sooner.”

– John Shewchuk Sarasota, FL

“I am so glad you wrote this book! I went to two major book stores in my area. They had betta books, but nothing specific enough to feel comfortable on how to care for the fish. Now I feel confident about helping my fish to live in an appropriate environment. Thanks so much.”

– Esther Hopper

“Thanks Marc: These are the two most energetic bettas I’ve had, or I’m just learning better ways of keeping them healthy. Your publications are very helpful.”

– Vicky Gonzales

“Marc,

I just wanted to thank you so much for your valuable information which saved me literally hundreds of dollars. Without your e-book I would have experimented (and made mistakes with) the wrong kind of tank heater and filter, the wrong sized tank, and wasted money on all the chemicals pushed at the pet store. I’m one of those people who wasted money years ago on a fancy aquarium, only to have it gather dust in my attic and be a constant reminder of how much money I’ve blown.

Thanks for your book. I know it will helpful to many.”

– Michael Blair

Miami, FL

“Dear Marcus,

I liked that your book is a complete betta owner’s manual. As a new owner looking for the basics, you gave me all of the practicalities I needed in order to give my betta the daily care he needs. Yours is a great source of in-depth information and helped me with the questions I had.”

– Jill Stevens

Atlanta, GA

Click here to secure your copy of my system and give your betta fish a wonderful life (immediate download)!

I know when you get my betta lover’s guide, you’ll be just as happy as the customers above who wrote me. If not, I want you to ask me for your money back.

That’s right…

You Can Just Say “Maybe” And Try My Betta Care System Without Risk For 60 Days…

In fact, you can check out my betta care system for free if you want. That’s because I offer an unconditional 100% money-back guarantee.

That means you can grab my guide, Caring for Betta Fish: An Insider’s Guide For Betta Lovers, with an open mind, knowing that you’re using it risk-free.

Over the next 60 days, use the information you discover. Calculate how much money you save. Notice how happily your betta wags his tail when you do the things you’ll discover that improve his life. Notice how impressed your friends are when they see your betta doing neat tricks like jumping through a hoop.

Then, if you’re not completely delighted with the way my guide improves the quality of life for your betta (and for you!), I’ll refund every penny to you — no questions asked. You don’t even need to give a reason — your word is good enough.

But wait a minute, you must be wondering. You offer a money-back guarantee on an ebook?

That’s right…

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pussymagicuniverse · 5 years

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Werewolf Heart, a Hallow's Eve #meowlist by Jessie Lynn McMains

This year, for Pussy Magic’s second Hallow’s Eve: SCREAM issue, our music-lover, Jessie, compiled a spooky list of tracks for you to enjoy with some details below about the songs and musicians, why she chose them, and lyrics that she loves. Enjoy, Kittens, and we’ll see you later for the special upcoming issue!

1. Tom Waits — Dirt in the Ground

I could easily make an entire Halloween-season playlist using only Tom Waits songs, and it was difficult to narrow it down to just one. I chose this one for two reasons. One being that it is both spooky and sad, a perfect ode for this holiday which is all about honoring the dead and accepting death as a natural part of the life cycle. The other being my own personal associations with it—at a Halloween party in 2003, while in costume as a fallen angel, I performed an a capella version of this song.

The quill from a buzzard The blood writes the word I want to know am I the sky or a bird? ‘Cause hell is boiling over And heaven is full We’re chained to the world And we all gotta pull

2. Johnny Cash — The Man Comes Around

This song isn’t so much creepy-sounding as it is lyrically terrifying. If anyone can make me believe in a Biblical-style apocalypse, it’s Johnny Cash. It also gets Halloween bonus points for its use in Dawn of the Dead.

The hairs on your arm will stand up At the terror in each sip and in each sup Will you partake of that last offered cup Or disappear into the potter’s ground? When the man comes around

3. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds — Red Right Hand

Nick Cave is another artist who could fill up an entire Halloween playlist all on his own. Be it with the Birthday Party or the Bad Seeds, the man can write a scary tune. This is by no means his scariest song (as far as I’m concerned, that titles belongs to “Song of Joy”*), but it does have a definite foreboding feeling; particularly during the organ solo. Ultimately, I chose this one for the playlist because of its use in the Scream franchise.

(*Fun fact: in “Song of Joy,” Nick references the same passage from Milton’s Paradise Lost that “Red Right Hand” was drawn from.)

You’ll see him in your nightmares You’ll see him in your dreams He’ll appear out of nowhere but He ain’t what he seems You’ll see him in your head On the TV screen Hey buddy, I’m warning You to turn it off

4. Puerto Muerto — The Hangman’s Song

A sad and beautiful apocalyptic death-song. This is another one I once performed, at a Halloween show in 2009. And, like “The Man Comes Around,” this song is also on the Dawn of the Dead soundtrack.

The days will turn black, you soon will see. Soon we’ll all be swinging from a tree. Pray your neck breaks when the rope is taut. Pray your mother isn’t there to see.

5. Delta Rae — I Will Never Die

Fleur suggested this song and as soon as I heard it I knew it was going on the playlist. It has a powerful, witchy, incantatory feeling to it, and the imagery in the lyrics is perfectly eerie. And I have a weakness for any song that uses chains as percussion instruments.

Hickory, oak, pine and weed Bury my heart underneath these trees And when a southern wind comes to raise my soul Spread my spirit like a flock of crows

6. Nina Simone — I Put A Spell On You

This tune is a must on any Halloween playlist. I adore the original Screamin’ Jay Hawkins version, but I think Nina Simone’s version is the sexiest and witchiest. Her deep, commanding voice and the jazzy sway of the music will put a spell on you for certain.

I put a spell on you ‘Cause you’re mine You better stop the things you do I ain’t lyin’ No, I ain’t lyin’

7. Eartha Kitt — I Want To Be Evil

In this fun little tune, the inimitable Eartha Kitt (aka Catwoman) asks why bad boys get to have all the fun. C’mon, good girls and non-binary babes, cast off the shackles of gender-based behavioral expectations and be evil!

I want to be horrid, I want to drink booze And whatever I’ve got, I’m eager to lose I want to be evil, little evil me Just as mean and evil as I can be!

8. Jill Tracy — Evil Night Together

Being bad can feel so good. This vampy dark cabaret number is the love song a femme fatale would sing in a film noir. It’s the kind of song you’d use to seduce the person you want as your partner. And by partner, I mean partner-in-crime.

I’ll hold your hand while they drag the river I’ll cuddle you in the undertow I’ll keep my hand on your trigger finger I’ll take you down where the train tracks go Let’s wile away the hours Let’s spend an evil night together

9. Lana Del Rey - Season of the Witch

This is another seasonal classic. Hole’s cover is my favorite, but it’s not available on Spotify, and this version by Our Lady of Vintage Cool, Lana Del Rey, is really good, too. (Also, it appears on the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark soundtrack.)

When I look out my window, many sights to see. And when I look in my window, so many different people to be. That it’s strange. So strange.

10. Austra — Spellwork

Dark and danceable witchy synth-pop. Thanks to Cassidy Scanlon for the suggestion.

You must be the call The evil at night Speaking words of grace While spellwork delights Feel my desire, it burns like a fire

11. World/Inferno Friendship Society — One for the Witches!

The World/Inferno Friendship Society is another band that could easily fill up a Halloween playlist all on their own. Hell, their biggest show of the year is their Hallowmas show every October the 31st. I chose this one because it is an anthem of mine (so much so that I have a tattoo relating to it); it is an anthem for all witches and weirdos and misfits. You know? I mean, do ya know?

“Supposed to be? I never gave it any thought Never gave a damn about what I’m supposed to be But if you’re asking what I am? I’m a fucking walking question mark I am a walking fucking time bomb!”

12. Hag Face — Witch Stomp

This short instrumental tune sounds something like if Elvira had a garage band, and you combined their music with a tape of spooky sound effects. It’s fuzzed-out grunge, dark and hypnotic, and full of screams and howls.

13. The Distillers — I Am A Revenant

In folklore, a revenant is an animated corpse that is believed to have revived from death to haunt the living. In this loud-fast-rules punk song, Brody Dalle reminds us that even if the bastards kill us, we can return to haunt them for the rest of their days.

We are the revenants We will rise up from the dead We become the living We’ve come back to reclaim our stolen breath

14. Against Me! — Dead Rats

This isn’t specifically a Halloween song (in fact, the only holiday it references is Easter), but sound and image-wise, it’s perfect. It’s a heartbroken rager, a love song for a fucked-up goth girl. It reminds me of so many girls I’ve known and loved; so many girls I’ve been.

Dear succubus, I miss you more than the rest But there’s a little bit less divide each time I look back In the eaves of your attic, I know how to haunt Shallow graves for all dead rats I like the dark clouds the best

15. The Cramps — Sheena’s in a Goth Gang

I had to include The Cramps and their brand of horror-surf-punk-psychobilly. In this song, Sheena’s not a punk rocker no more...she’s in a goth gang, now.

Mixed up women Do you have one in your house? She’s in the forbidden Vampire underground In the cult of the cobra Snakes in her hair She looks so macabre With her cobweb stare

16. The Damned — Nasty

This song is such a rollicking tribute to horror and slasher flicks. Listen to it, then go watch the performance they did on The Young Ones, with Dave Vanian at his vampiric finest. Only pop music can save us now!

The axe is sharp And the blade is keen Creature features spill from the screen Shadows fall and all is gloom You’re not so safe In the safety of your room

17. Siouxsie and the Banshees — Halloween

This would be a poor excuse for a Halloween playlist if I didn’t include a song by the Queen of Goth herself, Siouxsie Sioux. It was a toss-up between this one and “Spellbound,” but I chose this one for the drive of the drums, the angular slash of the guitars, and the surreal and atmospheric lyrics.

A sweet reminder In the ice-blue nursery Of a childish murder Of hidden luster And she cries “Trick or Treat” “Trick or Treat” The bitter and the sweet

18. Bauhaus — Bela Lugosi’s Dead

I almost feel like I should apologize for including this song, but listen: this year’s Hallow’s Eve edition of Pussy Magic has a pop culture bent, and I’m currently working on a chapbook inspired by Bela Lugosi (amongst other classic horror actors), so I couldn’t not include it. Not to mention it’s a goth classic with the clattering-bone percussion, the reverb, the mesmeric bass line. Every time I listen to it I feel like I’m in a goth club in the ‘80s, all decked out in black lace and too much makeup, smoking clove cigarettes and dancing.

White on white translucent black capes Back on the rack Bela Lugosi’s dead The bats have left the bell tower The victims have been bled

19. Oingo Boingo — Dead Man’s Party

Another Halloween classic by my favorite new wave/rock/ska/whatever (seriously, how does one classify Oingo Boingo’s music?) group of weirdos. It’s one of those great songs where the lyrics can be read into really deeply if you so choose, but it’s also just a hell of a lot of fun.

I got my best suit and my tie With a shiny silver dollar on either eye I hear the chauffeur comin’ to my door Says there’s room for maybe just one more

20. The Gun Club — Death Party

Poor old Jeffrey Lee. He had a lot of devils, and nowhere can you hear that better than in the yowl of this song. Musically, it’s something akin to Jim Morrison having psychedelic visions in the L.A desert, combined with blues, country, and punk. Lyrically, it’s about being drawn to self-destruction.

Throw down your heartache, throw down your worldly blues They’ll tear your heart out, lookin at you wail the blues Come to the death party, you ain’t got nothing to lose

21. Concrete Blonde — Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)

Concrete Blonde always had a dark side, but with the album Bloodletting they went even deeper into goth-rock territory. This, the title track, was inspired by Anne Rice’s novel Interview with the Vampire, and has a sexy swagger perfect for a creature of the night.

There’s a crack in the mirror And a bloodstain on the bed Oh, you were a vampire And baby, I’m the walking dead

22. Sonic Youth — Halloween

According to Kim Gordon, the lyrics to this song were inspired by watching Henry Rollins perform with Black Flag, which makes me chuckle. But in any case, this is a strange, creepy, and yeah, kinda sexy tune. There’s something ritualistic about it, like the incantation of a priestess as filtered through the lens of Sonic Youth’s noisy art-punk.

It’s the devil in me Makes me stare at you as you Twist up along you Sing your song and you’re Slipping up to me and you’re So close I just uh Want to touch you

23. Pixies — On Graveyard Hill

This track off the new Pixies album definitely has that off-kilter rock’n’roll Pixies sound I know and love. And the lyrics make it a perfect fit for a Halloween playlist.

In the poisonous forest, Donna lights up her torches Her eyes are flying saucers Her hair is black and gorgeous I see her down at the crossroads She can lead you to madness She’s leading me into darkness, in the witching hour

24. Tempers — What Isn’t There

As I’ve been writing these descriptions and listening to the playlist again, I’ve realized a lot of the tracks are long—like, between five and ten minutes long. I think that’s fitting for this season and this holiday. Imagine the long songs on this playlist as aural films to get lost inside. This track by Tempers makes for a very dark and moody piece of ‘cinema.’ Thanks to Cassidy Scanlon for the suggestion.

25. Sigils — Samhain

If all metal sounded like this I would listen to more metal. I love the heavy drone of this song, so eerie and mysterious. And the lyrics make me picture teenagers sitting around an autumn bonfire, stoned, telling scary stories.

Everything is gold The wind a sickly sweet The smell of rotting leaves Bathe in ashes from the fire

26. Dax Riggs — Ghost Movement

Yet another artist whose entire oeuvre, from Acid Bath to deadboy & the Elephantmen to his solo stuff, lends itself well to this season. This one’s a personal favorite when I’ve got those haunted blues. (After you’ve listened to the playlist, go listen to Dax’s cover of the Misfits’s “Skulls,” which he turned into a ballad.)

Kissed a blue girl While it rained broken glass Rode a bolt of white light With Satan on my lap

27. Queens of the Stone Age — Mosquito Song

With imagery straight out of Hannibal Lecter’s cookbook, this song is a gorgeously scary ode to the cycle of life and death.

Cutting boards, hanging hooks Bloody knives, cooking books Promising you won’t feel a thing at all Swallow and chew, eat you alive All of us food, that hasn’t died

28. Rasputina — Gingerbread Coffin

I would be remiss as a former creepy little girl who totally held doll funerals and as an overly dramatic goth who totally had a Rasputina phase if I didn’t include this song.

We brought, but not used A collection of knives We’ll remember this moment Through all of our lives She’ll rise

29. Dead Man’s Bones — Werewolf Heart

I’d never heard of Dead Man’s Bones until I was looking for songs for this playlist, but I love this song so much that I went to find more about the band and discovered... Ryan Gosling co-wrote this album with Zach Shields. Like: “Hey girl, I heard you liked ghosts and monsters and love stories, so I wrote you this monster-ghost-love story...”

You’d look nice in a grave I smile at the moon, death is on my face And if you wait too long Then you’ll never see the dawn again

30. Cat Power — Werewolf

I've had a long-time love for this eerie and beautiful Cat Power tune.

Oh the werewolf, oh the werewolf Comes stepping along He don’t even break the branches where he’s gone Once I saw him in the moonlight, when the bats were a flying I saw the werewolf, and the werewolf was crying

31. Neko Case — Deep Red Bells

This song was one of the inspirations for my poem which is appearing in the Hallow’s Eve issue. (The other inspiration was Seanan McGuire’s book The Girl in the Green Silk Gown.) It is a sad tribute to the murdered girls who are often forgotten.

Does your soul cast about like an old paper bag Past empty lots and early graves Of those like you who lost their way Murdered on the interstate While the red bells rang like thunder?

32. Nina Nastasia — In the Graveyard

This season is all about honoring our dead, but sometimes we’re just not ready.

Someone told me that I should visit you in the graveyard Pull out all the weeds But I’m still lonely and I’m not ready You scared me when you hid behind the trees

33. Hozier — In a Week (feat. Karen Crowley)

This is another song, like “Dirt in the Ground” and “Mosquito Song,” which is about the cycle of life and death (we’re all gonna be dirt in the ground / all of us food that hasn’t died / after the foxes have known our taste). And call me weird and morbid, but I think it is one of the most romantic songs ever written. These lovers will not be parted even in death; death will only bind them closer together.

And they’d find us in a week When the buzzards get loud After the insects have made their claim After the foxes have known our taste After the raven has had its say I’d be home with you

Jessie Lynn McMains (they/them) is a poet, writer, zine-maker, and small press owner. They are a queer and non-binary mama to two wild kiddos. Aside from words, music is their favorite thing in the world. They’re also obsessed with tarot, the Midwest/Great Lakes/Rust Belt, ghosts, and the undying spirit of punk rock. You can find their website at recklesschants.net, or find them on Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram @rustbeltjessie.

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theexecutivehomemaker-blog · 7 years

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Teaching, Volunteering and Skin Care...oh my!

I have been substitute teaching so much more than my normal recently, but instead of the thought of that stressing me out, I’m really excited for what I have accomplished. I’ve decided to exclusively teach at the schools my children attend (very occasionally I’ll make an exception). The students see me at the school often since when I’m not teaching I’m at the school usually volunteering my time to help teachers and with PTO activities. I love the connection I’ve made with so many students. It is very rewarding to walk down a hall and when my class realizes I’m subbing for them they get so excited and all rush to hug me. It really makes me feel like I’m doing something right!

Last week I taught for one third grade class for three consecutive days. When I left after school on the last day the other teachers in that grade told me how happy they were knowing that I was the one teaching that class. That when I sub they know I’ve got control over the class and things will be done correctly. It was a small conversation with a big impact. I feel so lucky to have the freedom to teach where I want to when it fits my schedule and am so happy I made the choice to stick with a school where I can make the most impact, no matter how I’m spending my time there, teaching or volunteering.

I’m fortunate to have a lot of time to volunteer, which is something I take seriously. I am very careful about what I dedicate my time to and I’m intentional with all I do.

My Grandma Jane joined the Houston Junior League when she was 25 years old (the youngest age you can join; women can only join between the ages of 25-40) and has loved being part of The League since then. She is 86 meaning she has been a member for 61 years. WOW! Now that all three of my children are in school and we have all settled into a lifestyle accommodating to that, I strongly felt that it was my time to apply to be a member of the Junior League of Austin. I had looked into joining last year when my youngest, my son Orin, was in Kindergarten but missed the deadline for mandatory meetings by just weeks. I remember being SO disappointed. I marked in my planner (I don’t go anywhere or plan anything without it!) the dates that I needed to send in any information and meetings to ensure I didn’t miss it again. I attended my meetings, did everything asked of me immediately and am so happy to announce that I was accepted! It was a very proud moment when I made the phone call to my Grandma to let her know I was The League’s newest member. I could hear the joy and pride in her voice.

The Junior League is a league of women (worldwide now!) who dedicate our time and efforts volunteering for our local communities and making a big impact. I can not wait to get started for my provisional year and see the impact that a group of dedicated women and myself will make. I am so proud to be part of this prestigious League and to work with like minded women who are all eager to help our community in the best, most impactful ways possible!

I was also very recently placed on our PTO Board (for my youngest children’s elementary school) for next school year. Even though my board position officially starts next school year we are all very busy planning to make sure things start out smooth. I was asked by Shannon (our PTO President) to be the Treasurer which I was excited to do having a background in banking, but sadly had to turn down the position. I can’t be the Treasurer and handle cash while being an employee of the district. I didn’t even think about the fact that being a substitute teacher makes me an employee. I’m sure it is because any income I make goes directly into a savings account and I don’t ever really see it. So, I’m not the new Treasurer but I am on the board for “Family/Community Events” which I was excited to accept and to work with my friend Jill, who knows her stuff, and am excited to meet and work with one more lady who will be on this venture with me.

Between The Junior League, PTO board, teaching, being a mother (of two elementary students and a high schooler in band and AP classes) and being a wife, plus so much more that is always going on, next school year is sure to be even busier than this one has been. I’m a little anxious but I know with proper planning it will all go smoothly.

When Chad and I were planning our family and were ready to try for our second child, I told him that we could have two more children (we have both wanted three since we started dating as teenagers) but that when we were done having kids that he was going to have to “fix what you’re about to break”. I said this meaning that he had to promise to help me get my body back to as normal as I could get it after having so many children. He laughed and agreed. I wasn’t joking and he knew it but probably didn’t think I would hold him to it. About 3 years ago I told him that it had been more than three years since I had our last child and I was very ready to get my body back. I was the heaviest and biggest size I had ever been in my life, including at the end of my third pregnancy and post delivery. Before I had children I was about 105 lbs and a size 0-2. At the time I told Chad I was ready I was almost 200 lbs and a size 14-16. For some that size fits their body well, it didn’t for me. I was SO unhappy and I didn’t feel like I was in my own body. I hardly recognized myself and the thought of shopping for clothes (let alone swimsuits) was a reason for major waterworks. I told Chad that I was ready for my plastic surgery wanting liposuction and a tummy tuck. He told me to schedule some consultations and get quotes. I did. Of course with both procedures (all of the doctors I saw recommended a lot of lipo) the quote was in the five figure range. I was even more discouraged because while I wanted to be happy in my body again, 10K+ is a lot of money and I didn’t want to take that much from my family. That is the same amount that we would spend on two ski trips! I couldn’t justify spending that much. I cried to Chad and he again told me that he loved me no matter what and thought I was beautiful. He didn’t ignore my weight gain, he embraced it (way more that I did) and told me it didn’t bother him because I became what I was by giving him three great kids. To me his words and sentiment were beautiful but a lot of BS. I wanted to FEEL beautiful and happy in my own skin and i just really wasn’t. It was depressing.

A few months passed and again I was complaining to Chad about how I felt about myself when he said something that made me question everything he had ever said about me being beautiful to him. He said something along the lines of “Sara, I think you’re beautiful and I am more than willing to spend the money that you aren’t. But, first you need to lose some weight and show me you can keep it off and then I’ll happily spend every penny.” I was in shock. I was so furious that he had basically acknowledged how big I had gotten. He was supposed to tell me that I didn’t look big and that I was beautiful no matter what. Of course a big fight ensued and I cried. After a while I calmed down and really thought about what he said. No matter how mad it made me, he was right. Why would we invest so much money into a quick fix when I would most likely gain it all back with the same eating habits? I accepted what he said and forgave him...and maybe apologized for freaking out on him. I also accepted that I would be fat forever because diet’s just aren’t my thing. I LOVE food. Then I gave in. I started to diet on my own, I was determined to lose weight and I was completely unsuccessful.

About a year later (just about exactly 2 years ago from now) I convinced Chad to go to a consultation with me at Cedar Park Ideal Weight and Skin with my former OB/GYN Dr. Laurette Smith. She had been my OB for 10+ years and I LOVED her. She left her successful practice as an OB/GYN and opened this clinic which helps with weight loss and spa types of skin care/treatments. So we went in to this consult, with my favorite physician and talked to her about Ideal Protein. She had done the diet with great success and I trusted her that it would work for me too. We pulled the trigger. I did the diet. I did it and it worked! In about five months I got to my goal weight and passed my size goals. I had a pair of size 10 jeans that were my “goal jeans”, when those were too big I was thrilled to be in single digits again. By the time I ended the diet I was in a size 2-4 (depending on the brand). I was over the moon! I’ve maintained for a year and a half now and have been so thankful that I did this diet every single day. This past January Chad made another statement that kind of blew me away, but in a good way this time. He said “Sara, we are going on our anniversary vacation in May, if you want your tummy tuck now is the time, lets do it!” My consultations/quotes were half, some less than half of my original quotes because I didn’t need any lipo and what I did “need” for a little of extra skin from having three kids was so minimal. How exciting, right?! Then I did something I NEVER thought I would do. I told Chad that I didn’t want a tummy tuck anymore. OMG, I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth! Instead I went for an option that was even less expensive by thousands than the surgery. I decided to once again trust Dr. Smith and her staff at Ideal Weight and Skin of Cedar Park and am undergoing a few laser treatments to melt fat and tighten my skin. It started with me just doing this on my abdomen and minimal “love handles” but now I’m having treatments done on my face and neck too. It has been awesome! I did four sessions under the Vanquish machine, four with the Exilis Ultra machine and four with the Cellutone machine. I’m done with the Vanquish machine on my stomach but am going to have a little more work done with the second two machines. They do both fat melting and skin tightening. The Exilis Ultra machine is what is also being used on my face and neck. I’ve only had two treatments on my face and neck and can already see some results of diminished fine lines/wrinkles and it is so encouraging!

Doing these laser treatments was a big commitment for me because I’m the kind of person who needs fast results and clearly a tummy tuck has immediate results. These treatments are not immediate, it takes up to a few months to see the full results. I am still so pleased that I went this route and would recommend it to anyone! I’ll be doing more treatments of several of the services that this clinic offers and am excited to keep you all in the loop! If anyone has any questions about exactly what I’m doing here is the link for Dr. Smith’s clinic, I can’t recommend them enough! http://www.idealweightandskin.com/ I have another round of treatment on my stomach, face and neck this week, I can not wait! Once I’m done with specific treatments I’ll share my before and after photos for anyone interested. If you decide to visit this incredible clinic for anything, a facial, weight loss, laster treatments...whatever, tell Dr. Smith that I sent you! She and her staff are truly the best and extremely professional. I promise you’ll leave happy no matter what service you are doing!

I’m SO thankful to have a husband who supports me feeling good about myself even if he thought I needed it or not, which he insists he didn’t. While I truly believe that he thought I was beautiful in all stages that my body has been through, I can definitely say that he now compliments me out of nowhere several times a day and proves how attracted he is to me almost constantly. We have been together for 17 years (tomorrow), since I was 16. He has stuck by my side during my very best and very worst physical years of my life. He is my rock and I LOVE living this life as his partner.

Life is good! :)

Until next time, count your blessings! :)

Sara Jane

#TheExecutiveHomemaker

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sportsandfitnessinfo · 7 years

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New Post has been published on http://fitnessandhealthpros.com/fitness/ggs-spotlight-jill-mclean/

GGS Spotlight: Jill McLean

Name: Jill McLean Age: 35 Location: Salem, Oregon

What does being a Girl Gone Strong mean to you? To me it means being strong and confident on the inside and out. It means not being afraid to show off my “guns” while also wearing lipgloss. It means not being afraid to be more, to take up space and to encourage other women to do the same by lifting one another up.

How long have you been strength training, and how did you get started? I’ve been strength training for about seven years. I first got started with a popular home DVD workout series that I borrowed from my sister-in-law. I followed that program for about nine months. I saw some great results, and that’s when people started pouring in with the “How did you do that?” questions. I quickly learned that I absolutely loved helping others find ways to get strong, and that’s when I decided that I wanted to be a personal trainer. In order to learn about the field, I decided to hire a personal trainer (who, spoiler alert, ended up becoming my best friend and business partner!). This helped me hone my craft, but it also gave me a lifting partner who was as in love with lifting heavy stuff as I was!

What does your typical workout look like? I always start out with core and pelvic floor exercises for my warm-up. Even though I’m 16 months postpartum, I still find this a very important part of my exercise program. After that, I start getting into my lifts. Usually they include some type of body weight exercise, barbell and kettlebell exercise. The format looks a little like this:

Core/Power

Push/Pull (Upper and/or lower)

Finisher

A lower volume, higher intensity approach has helped me gain strength without exhausting all of my energy, which is a precious commodity these days with a toddler.

Favorite Lift: The Turkish Get-Up. It is just a flat-out awesome exercise that makes me feel pretty badass.

Most memorable PR: When I got a TGU with the 28kg bell on each side. This PR actually happened for me twice. Once before I had my son, and once after. Training postpartum has been a whole new animal. It’s been like training with a totally differently body that I’ve had to take time to honor and get to know. So, I’ve nicknamed my PRs after baby as PPPRs (postpartum PRs).

Top 5 songs on your training playlist: I usually don’t workout with headphones, so whatever is playing in the gym is good enough for me. But, I usually have to stop and jam to any of five:

Turn Down for What – Dj Snake Feat. Lil Jon

Bad Romance – Lady Gaga

Rock and Roll – Led Zeppelin

Moves Like Jagger – Maroon 5

Sail – AWOLNATION

Top 3 things you must have with you at the gym or in your gym bag: Lip gloss, water bottle, chalk

Do you prefer to train alone or with others? Why? I usually enjoy training with others. There’s just something about surrounding yourself with like-minded people who want to enhance their life and feel good.

The energy of a good gym is hard to beat. You never leave feeling worse.

Most embarrassing gym moment: My husband and I met at the gym where we both worked. Normally, I work out in the evening, but because I knew he would be working out there at the same time, I started doing my lifts at lunchtime to you know, impress him with my dedication and super sweet moves of course. I had band-assisted pull-ups in my program, so I got up on the box and went to slide the band around my heel, only I missed!

The band snapped me right in the crotch. So, there I stood with one leg on the box and the other hiked up to the heavens in the band looking at my crush. He didn’t rush over to help me, just stared. And I blurted out, “I’m fine!” No worries, he married me anyway.

Most memorable compliment you’ve received lately: “You’ve been kicking butt. I’m proud of you.” A compliment from my cousin Heidi on my progress with my business lately, which means a lot to me because entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart!

Most recent compliment you gave someone else: “I am diggin’ those pants!” A compliment I gave another woman at the gym who was wearing these awesome red workout pants that I totally dug.

Favorite meal: Paleo pizza, hands down!

Favorite way to treat yourself: I love getting pedicures. I could just fall asleep in those comfy chairs.

Favorite quote: “Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” — Edmund Lee

Favorite book: I am a big Stephen King fan. My favorite book is The Stand. It’s unbelievably long (1,153 pages in the uncut version), and I read it in one summer. It had me riveted, and I cried near the end.

What inspires and motivates you? Other strong women. I’ve spent a good amount of time over the past couple of years really finding my tribe. Just like one of your awesome T-shirts says, “Strong women lift each other up.”

I’ve surrounded myself with strong women, and it has truly inspired me to do things that I would have never done before.

I’ve already spent too much time playing small and taking up less space. Spending time with strong women has helped me reach beyond my borders, find my true potential and dream big! Because…..why not?! Go for it!

What do you do? I co-own a personal training business with my best friend Cara Turnquist called Movement Duets. We specialize in pre and postnatal training with a focus on core and pelvic floor health. We’ve been running our signature online group training program Fit Mom Foundations for about a year and recently started offering in-person training services in Salem, Oregon as well. I also work part-time as a chiropractic assistant.

What else do you do? This should come as no surprise but my main hobby is weight lifting! I love challenging myself to reach new PRs. I also compete in the Highland Games, which is an awesome extension of what I already love to do. The difference is that not only do I get to lift heavy stuff, I also get to let it go! It’s awesomely therapeutic, and the Highland Games community is filled with some of the kindest and most amazing people that you will ever meet. I also recently started going out line dancing with Cara which is super fun because the place we go to offers lessons at 7:30 p.m. and we’re home by 10:00 p.m. Perfect for us, because #grandmastatus. I’m not the best at it, but at the very least I can follow directions, not run into people, and have a lot of fun.

Describe a typical day in your life: I wake up around 6 a.m., hop in the shower, and get ready for the day. After that, my son Jack usually wakes up, and we have a quiet nursing session. This is also when I check my task list for the business, to make sure that I know what I need to have done for the day. Then Jack and I both eat breakfast, and I get him ready for the day. After dropping him off at the babysitter’s house, I head to the gym where Cara and I teach our Mommy and Me classes, pre/postnatal strength training classes, mobility classes, and do individual training sessions and table work. After work my husband (Sam) and I regroup at home with Jack to eat lunch. We usually take a little down time before going back to the gym for my own workout. After that, we head home for the day. Jack usually goes down for a nap in the afternoon and this is when I get my writing for done (blogs, emails, social media posts, etc.). After my writing work is done, the rest of the evening is dedicated to family time.

Your next training goal: 32kg Turkish Get-Up on each side. I’m coming for ya!

What are you most grateful for? I’m most grateful for my husband and son. Ever since the day that I met my Sam he put me first. He always goes out of his way to make sure that I’m taken care of and that I feel special. When I said that I wanted to quit my full-time job to pursue building up my business, he barely even flinched. He said that I had to go for it. He’s been supportive every step of the way. He also helped give me the greatest gift that I could ever ask for, our son, Jack.

What life accomplishment are you most proud of? Giving birth! The labor and delivery of my son changed me in a million and one ways. I never knew that I was capable of such an amazing miracle.

Which three words that best describe you? Funny. Strong. Kind.

What’s a risk you’ve taken recently, and how did it turn out? I had been working full time at a corporate gym for almost three years when I even first thought about starting a business with my best friend. When I was about to go on maternity leave, my boss at the time gave me an ultimatum: when I was ready to return to work, I was either to work solely for his company or my business. Even though I wasn’t taking home a paycheck from it and it had absolutely zero security, I chose my business. Cara and I went all-in. We shaped and molded this beautiful business of helping moms and moms-to-be have fit, healthy pregnancies, successful postpartum recoveries and strength and support during this transitional time in their lives. Our business continues to build, grow, and change and it’s absolutely amazing seeing how it all continues to unfold.

What’s the coolest “side effect” you’ve noticed from strength training? Getting strong on the outside and seeing that strength seep into all other aspects of my life. It truly inspires self confidence and strength on the inside as well.

How has lifting weights changed your life? If it weren’t for me borrowing that workout DVD set from my sister-in-law, I never would have ended up where I am today. I never would have seen what my body can do. I never would have pursued a career in the fitness industry. I never would have worked at the gym where I met my best friend and husband. I never would have started my business. I never would have shared my story with others.

Lifting weights changed everything. Absolutely everything.

When did you start the Moms Gone Strong, why did you decide to start, and what helped you make the decision to start? I started the Moms Gone Strong program when I was 29 weeks pregnant. I decided to start the program because I knew that how I had been exercising before pregnancy wasn’t necessarily appropriate for how I should be exercising during or even after for a while! I believe that every good coach should have a coach, and as a trainer myself, it was really nice to not have to think about my workouts or do my own programming. I was so excited to hear that this was something that GGS was now going to be offering that I couldn’t not do it! It was really great to work so closely with Molly and Jessie during the pilot program, and at 16 months postpartum I’m still continuing to work with Jessie.

What was your biggest challenge in the Moms Gone Strong program? My biggest challenge was my ego. Haha. Prior to becoming pregnant I was already a regular exerciser, and I loved heavy lifting. It was hard for me to let go of heavy lifting for a while, but it was the right thing to do for me and my body. I found my way back to it safely.

Throughout my pregnancy the “I can” vs. “I should” struggle was constant.

What has been your biggest success from the Moms Gone Strong program? One of the things that my mom friends have told me throughout the years is that after having a baby I should expect to pee my pants. I refused to believe that this had to be the case. I was diligent about my core and pelvic floor exercises and not placing too much stress on my core and pelvic floor, and I am happy to report that it paid off! I’ve had minimal postpartum issues, and I can say with conviction that peeing your pants after you have a baby might be common, but it is not normal. Prevention and healing can happen!

What do you like best about the Moms Gone Strong community? Motherhood can be really, really lonely if you let it be. I really struggled with depression during the first few months after my son was born. Having a community of like-minded women who relate, love, and support you throughout this crazy journey of motherhood made a huge difference. No more crying alone and Googling, “Is it normal to….?” I just leaned in and asked my sisters.

What is the habit you’re currently working on most? Continuing to do safely do more heavy lifting that’s appropriate for my postpartum body.

How has Moms Gone Strong changed your life? It brought on so much more body awareness on my part. It helped me to really tune in and learn what “listen to your body” truly means. It’s helped me make smart decisions about exercising during pregnancy and after. And it’s introduced me to so many amazing women.

What would you tell a woman who’s nervous about starting Moms Gone Strong? Whether you’re a regular gym goer or a first time exerciser, this program meets you where you are. The programming is smart so you don’t have to wonder if you’re doing the “right” things, and the community is a safe place to come as you are and get support along the way.

What do you want to say to women, in general, who might be nervous or hesitant about strength training? I know what it’s like to walk into a gym and not know where the heck to start. I’ve been the one who walked around the weight room, reading all of the instructions on the different machines and hesitantly trying them out, hoping that no one was looking at me. Don’t let fear keep you from starting. Go with a friend. Hire a trainer. Reach out, don’t hide out. You never know how picking up a weight might change your life. It certainly changed mine.

Exercises To Do And Avoid During And After Pregnancy

There are so many myths about exercising during and after pregnancy, it can be hard to know if you’re doing the “right” thing. Our education materials are carefully vetted by OB/GYNs, PhDs, Registered Dietitians, Women’s Health Physiotherapists, and Pre and Postnatal Exercise Experts, and we have put together this FREE handbook where you’ll learn:

The best exercises to do during and after pregnancy

Exercises to avoid during and after pregnancy

Originally at :Girls Gone Strong Written By : GGS

#Jill, #McLean, #Spotlight #Fitness

#Jill #McLean #Spotlight #Fitness

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