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taylorkellyreporting · 2 years

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i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: bridgerton season 2

hitting play on this silly little show for kathony 😁

right just sat through the s1 recap and i’m deffo gonna need subtitles cos i can’t understand a word they’re saying 😭

LMAOOOO what is on her head

so redhead is basically gossip girl? why does she do it?

i already love anthony he’s hilarious

“do you read?” “books?” obviously 😭

well damn he has a nice body

DID HE PAY HER??$?$$4&($?&:&

wow doesn’t even have the courtesy to shut the door behind him

AURRRR GOD SHE’S GORGEOUS

just made eye contact for the first time alright people it’s fucking showtime let’s GO!

oh her smile is beautiful

edwina’s gorgeous too woah and their mom is so pretty that whole family is fine

NEWTON I LOVE HIM ALREADY OH HES SO 🥹

newton’s so fat 😭

kate’s a sarcastic shit and i love her

“this place may feel different, but it will never change the way you and i see each other.” this ages like milk

aurrr God i love kate and edwina’s relationship i am not ready for it to be ruined

those wigs are…🫢

kate is literally moving all over the room in order to keep watching anthony bitch GET UP

“wed, bed and bred” oh wow??????

anthony’s face 😭😭 he was not expecting her to go off on him like that i can’t breathe

“they escaped you? good for them 🙂” pls

eloise is def not played by a teen her voice is too damn old

my gawd kate loves edwina so much i’m crying

“i would rather DIE!” she’s a real one 😭

GOD i thought i’d never finish episode one

lmao kate really just embarrassed him in front of all those other men 😭

oh penelope is down bad

living for kathony’s banter

oh wow he really hired that guy to distract kate

one thing about anthony he’s gonna angrily rant about kate to his siblings

lmao she doesn’t even ride horses 😭

i’m sorry but i can’t seem to care about anything other than kathony

“write that down.” benedict looks so disappointed 😭

whew that scene between kate and lady danbury in her room…intense

HOLY SHIT THE BEGINNING OF EP THREE?????

NOT HER BEING DOWN WITH INCEST?!($)&(!:

he called kate a gatekeeper i can’t breathe 😭

kate looked so proud when newton barked at anthony lmfaooo

oh wow daphne thought kate was the one anthony was courting…even she can feel the tension

poor anthony he couldn’t even grieve his father

kate and anthony are serving in the enemies to lovers deparment

so far all this game is showing me is that edwina definitely doesn’t fit in with the bridgerton’s the way that kate does. she’s taken to their games v easily whereas edwina looks like she’d rather be anywhere else

“i knew i liked her.” oh kate’s gonna have that entire family wrapped around her finger just by keeping anthony on his toes 😭

oh colin shot those two balls that far on purpose!!!! he deffo ships it no i do not take constructive criticism

and the way daphne watches them? they all see the potential

my God this is the first time i’ve seen a full ass grin on anthony’s face…kate did that 😌

kathony laughing and smiling with each other…feels good feels organic

the flashbacks are so sad ☹️

edwina and anthony could’ve been cute if kathony’s chemistry wasn’t so strong

oh he feels everything daphne was describing just…with kate.

“edmund was the air that i breathed. and now there is no air.” oh my God

i just wanna give anthony the biggest hug

BENEDICT IS SO GONE 😭😭

oh daphne is the captain of the kathony ship

that had to be deeply embarrassing for edwina

if i were kate i would wanna kill anthony for making edwina cry and assume his failing to propose was her fault

benedict is so fucking funny

THE BEE SCENE????? JESUS CHRIST THEIR CHEMISTRY IS INSANE I FELT LIKE I WAS INTRUDING

they’re both losing their shit 😭

“i need your help getting him to fall in love with you.” oh she’s gonna regret saying that 😭😭

why is daphne’s husband never around? does he not fuck with her family?

God this scene is so awkward

damn anthony didn’t even let her get his entire name out of her mouth before immediately answering her he’s down so bad 😭

love kathony but this hunting shit ain’t it like i’m bored

anthony got one look at her thigh and lost all ability to function he’s so real

they’re so childish i love them

it’s about the ✨hands✨

GOD THEY GIVE ME SUCH A BUZZ

“you must keep doing whatever it is that you are doing.” she just keeps digging a bigger hole for herself 😭

oh fuck this scene for being in the middle of a storm now i can’t properly watch it

their dance???? the delena of it all

HIS REACTION TO HER SAYING SHE’S GOING BACK TO INDIA ONCE THEY’RE MARRIED OH I FEEL SICK

need them to stop being interrupted before they get to the good part

oh God. oh no.

daphne looks so proud of him cause she thinks he’s gonna follow his heart but i have no doubt that what he’s actually gonna do is propose to edwina

i never wanna see kate cry ever again

the way kate thought he wanted to speak with her my stomach

aurrr God i wanna hug kate so badly

edwina talking about her and anthony having kids and them + kate all being a family…i cannot even imagine how kate felt in that moment cause i feel like i was punched

my God the way kate flinched back a bit when he said marrying her was an unthinkable fate this is fucking sick like genuinely sick

and now she has to try on the ring what the fuck

oh he’s jealous i love it here

okay anthony is dead wrong for interfering with kate’s well…date. like dude you’re engaged to her sister??? that’s gotta be so confusing for her

not them falling into the water 😭😭

“it’s not proper to stare.” she says as she stares

shit that dinner scene was intense as hell had me holding my breath and everything

danbury told her to tell the truth in the ep 1 and she never did it 🫤

YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE AND THE OBJECT OF ALL MY DESIRES ARE YOU FUCKIJG KIDDING ME?$)8)&;&:85

ANTHONY REALLY SAID HE’D THINK ABOUT BEING WITH KATE EVERY DAY OF HIS MARRIAGE TO EDWINA UNTIL HE FINALLY SNAPS AND CHEATS ON HER WITH KATE I CANT BREATHE

oh Jesus edwina loves him

the kathony scene in the woods…i can literally see him falling more and more in the love with her the more she talks

the fuck did the queen just inhale?!

“i fear that he does not look at me often enough.” that’s because he’s looking at your sister.

anthony’s so fucking bitter about this marriage 😭

also it just clicked that kate called anthony by his name for the first time i’m gonna cry

damn daphne went in on him

this is brutal

OH SHIT SHE FIGURED IT OUT

imagine finding out that your fiancé and your sister are having an emotional affair on your wedding day

their first kiss is going to be so satisfying

“half. sister.” Jesus christ.

FUCKING FINALLY

CANT BREATHE CANT MOVE CANT FUNCTION

oh poor edwina ☹️

God that smirk on anthony’s face when he and kate make eye contact fjgjgjfks

love that newton likes anthony now

not anthony sniffing the air as kate walked by oh my boy is down horrendous

the dance scene was too damn cute

not penelope betraying eloise oh wow?

i’ve stopped being able to function

just fucking in the middle of the garden like wow

her blood on his hands aurrr God

this anthony scene with his mom has me crying

penelope is a backstabbing bitch

edwina deserves everything good

this episode has me in a chokehold

the queen was the real mvp for stopping the rumors + mentioning to edwina that her nephew is a prince

HE PROPOSED AND SHE SAID YES!!!! I DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO LOSE

daphne having a smug ass smile on her face when kathony is kissing on the field cos she knew there was something more between them since day one i love it here

this show is so good i might tune in to season one

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anastasiaavd · 2 years

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I am obviously rewatching bridgerton s1 and I like those dump reactions posts so I am making one that I will keep updated w my every thoughts 💭

First of all HE CALLED HIS SON AN IMBECILE omg the word imbecile is so funny to me, a French speaker

"I believe I should like to stay" "I believe you should like to leave" VIOLET IS THAT BITCH this is one of my favorite line

Lady Danbury is the perfect embodiment of the aries-libra axis my queen ugh

YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BREATH THE SAME AIR AS HER was he already soooooo mad for her where are those mens today

Okay he was already down bad in episode 2 when he asked her to call him by his name OMG HE TOUCHED HER BACK I did not remember this small details I love that

THE LOOKS HE HAS FOR HER ON GOD HE STUTTERED WHILE TALKING ABOUT HER SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

Okay the dream, the tea afternoon.. they are all in love so fast my babies I will try to keep my mouth shut bc my reaction to the inn scene will probably be 5000 words long

"You must marry the man who feels like your dearest friend" I remember this line very well bc it simply left me FLABBERGASTED I was like YES love is actually that simple

Regarding violet now, she IS the virgo-pisces axis

THE HAND TOUCH I AM CRYING yes I am easily moved by romantic gestures and grand feelings

"You wish to follow your heart and I wish to nurture my mind" Eloise is an amazing character

Stop whispering "touch yourself" in a public park Simon wtf is wrong w you

"If you desire the sun and the moon, all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky" + "[She] is a woman, therefore she has nothing. You are a man, therefore you have everything." Eloise god bless you pls write your own book your words are everything to me

HE LOOKED BACK BEFORE LIVING THE BALL my man had visions of murder watching daphne and the prince dancing

I feel she looked better w the prince like the energies were more similar but they had NO chemistry it was almost awkward so yeah long live Simon

Love conquers all

YALL I JUST UNDERSTOOD SOMETHING HABSJSKSLD when Simon was staying quiet while daphne was screaming about how she was gonna be a princess and marry the prince, when he did not answer it was bc he COULDN’T talk, he was petrified just like he was in front of his father bc these are the only two ppl that can reach him I AM SO DUMB HOW COME I NEVER NOTICED THAT

The "says the man who almost shoot at me ! YOU WALKED IN THE MIDDLE OF A DUEL" scene really made me understand why ppl say the bridgerton family share one single brain cell omg

I love violet so much she is the mother everyone deserve I love my little lady

THE SPEECH IN FRONT OF THE QUEEN IS TAKING AWAY MY SANITY HE SAYS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS when he says "w miss bridgerton conversation has always been easy" he REALLY means it bc we know of his struggle omg I love him so very much TO MEET A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IS ONE THING, BUT TO MEET YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF WOMEN IS SOMETHING ENTIRELY APART i am deceased

OMG it’s happening ITS HAPPENING THE INN SCENE ITS HAPPENING I AM GOING CRAZY MAD IT IS TOO MUCH the speeches are the one thing keeping me alive the way they express their love I DO NOT WANT ANY DINNER i love their voices their accents their words

A separate post is needed for simons lines which are the closest things to heaven for me

SHE FEELS WONDERFUL YOU GUYS

Colin shutting down Anthony is highly appreciated this man needed to be humbled in s1

Jeffrey is a gem

Okay honestly not much happen after the sex scenes so I’m gonna stop this post and just enjoy it, nonetheless if violet or eloise or daphne say something incredibly wise that brings tears of admiration to my eyes I will obviously share it tho

I don’t have an opinion on that whole baby lies etc.. bc I understand both sides tbh. As he said he’d rather die than force daphne in an unhappy marriage but he still took advantage of her ignorance, while she took advantage of him like literally bsnskdld yet she didn’t even know she was doing such a bad thing bc she actually didn’t know ANYTHING bdndkdkd

And I love how they put some responsibility on violet for that whole mess bc yeah it is a mother’s job to teach such things to her children

I still don’t know if daphne had a miscarriage or just her periods at the end of episode 7 but that scene breaks me every time I watch it, i feel her pain so profoundly It is unthinkable to loose a child and the futur you imagined for them. And the duke’s eyes watering bc he deep inside wanted that child…

"I miss dancing with your father. The very last time I danced was with him. I suppose I miss everything about him, really." It is remarkable the way I miss Edmund and feel so sad about him when we never really saw him, we know nothing about him, we just have violet and the way she shines so much love when she or her children talk of him

#bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #simon basset #daphne simon

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v-world · 2 years

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RATING the characters of Bridgerton (s2)

WARNING: SPOILERS!!

1) Lady Danbury - 10/10. What can I say, she's that b1tch in so many ways. Queen sh1t.

2) Daphne - 10/10. She is amazing, for lack of a better word. She could see through Anthony and Kate's pathetic facade. TBH though, they made it way too obvious. But she did something about what it is she saw and tried to convince Anthony to reconsider. She ATE.

3)Marina - a very generous 5/10. Her character just wasn't giving this time around. Probably because she wasn't the main focus but I just really didn't like her attitude towards Colin. It felt unnecessary. But shoutout to her for pointing out the he's had someone who cares for him all along. She pointed him in the direction of Penelope.

4) Colin Bridgerton - A hard 5/10. The ONLY reason I even gave him a 5 was because he 'protected' Penelope regarding the new Lord Featherington's schemes. But then he turned around and said that he wouldn't court her even in his bro's wildest dreams. Because first off, fvck him. She is a prize, and his dumbass can't even see that. His trashy ass kept leading her on halfway through the season AND I just don't respect his character.

5) Kate - 10/10. First off, she is GORGEOUS. She puts others before her (a feature in her character that puts her in a difficult situation/ position many times) but it's something in her that makes me adore her even more. I take siblings very seriously. And they did a wonderful job with her character and storyline. They showed she was willing to put aside her feelings for a man, for her sister. It was just beautiful.

6)Edwina - 10/10 because the queen loves her, she's so elegant and graceful and filled with beauty. Not just facial beauty (though she IS stunning), but her personality, it's beautiful as well. I am so happy she got a happy ending.

7) Eloise - There's nothing for her here.

8) Lady Violet Bridgerton - 9/10. She's a good mother. She too, as a good mother would, was able to see that he wasn't really in love with Edwina. And she did actually do something to make him reconsider as well.

9) Lady Portia Featherington - 10/10. Now I know what you're thinking. How does she get a higher rating than Lady effing Bridgerton?! Hear me out before you get all rowdy. Although she did make her daughter marry her cousin, and called her dumb and spineless ( in the sense that she is breedable and easy to manipulate) she made her do it for the sake of her and all her daughters. The whole season, really, she was just her looking out for her family. She really loves them and she loves them so much that she went to such lengths. In the end, she fvcked over the new Lord Featherington (putting aside her - what I think may be- feelings for him) and successfully protected her daughters. I think my favourite line of hers ever on the show is her response to Lord Featherington when he said "You are cruel." And she immediately responded with "I am a mother". I loved her character so much more when she said that. And that is because she aligns with me and my life and my views and what I admire. Good mothers willing to protect their children. No. Matter What. She's a bad bitch for letting Lord featherington think he was manipulating her (completely fallen for him) when really, it was her pulling the strings the entire time.

10)Lord Featherington - 0/10. He tried to manipulate Lady Featherington and he never even cared about her daughters, A.K.A his cousins!

11) Anthony - 1000/10. Great tension scenes and, might I say it, great sex scenes (and no, I'm not talking about his amazing sex game, I'm talking about how passionate it was and just... yeah. The girls that get it, get it.). Speaking of the tension, he was really great this season, because last season, all I could think was how he was just a fvck-up, who couldn't keep his pants on and get his sh1t together. I did not like him AT ALL. But now...now? Now I'm biting my lip and sweeping my hair behind my ear. I'm calling him... attractive. I'm.... yeah, y'all get it.

12)The Queen - I LOVE HER. Y'all can't say nothing to me, argue with your mom, not me. I love everything about her. Her sassiness. The way she knows her status and the way she uses it. I love her posh lifestyle and how tender she is towards someone when they've broken through her walls (specifically Edwina and Lady Danbury). Also, how cute is her and Lady Danbury's friendship? Lowkey goals.

~Thank you so much for reading~

If you agreed or enjoyed, please leave a like<3

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 2 #anthony x kate #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton

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lovestoned-ophelia · 2 years

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BRIDGERTON SEASON 2 TRAILER BREAKDOWN

(As someone who’s working her way though the books, and is on number four, and has found a new hyperfixation)

HOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT IM SO HYPED!! BOOK 2 WAS MY FAV SO FAR, (I’m on book four) AND I CANT WAIT TO DIE ABT IT

OKOKOKOKOK HERE ARE SOME OBSERVATIONS:

it looks like they’re really gonna play with the whole Whistledown/Penelope thing this season, so that’ll definitely keep things fresh & off book. I kinda forgot the Queen existed in the world of the show, and personally, it’s a welcome addition now that I know what to expect from the main plot, so I can be surprised by tv exclusive characters and plot lines.

KATE AND EDWINA!!!!! EDWINA AND KATE!!! MY DARLINGS! MY BELOVEDS!!! The casting is so insanely perfect!! Edwina seems just as cute, proper, and doe eyed as she was in the book, LOOK AT HER LIL PINK DRESSES MY B A B E Y!!! She’s canonically like 17 so I’m positive they’re gonna age her up, which is very rad.

It looks like Lady Danbury is going to be sponsoring the girls, and for the route the show takes, it’s such a great choice!! Lady Danbury isn’t an integral character in the books, especially not the first few, and making her a matriarchal or mentor figure for other characters in the show is SUCCHHHH an amazing idea. Love a bad bitch💜

I like the teeny differences I see already! Like Newton being uneasy with Anthony from the start, instead of being a Good Boy™️ right away.

ALSO NEWTON :DDDDD DOGGY

I can bet money they’re going to change the word Pall Mall to croquet.

From the promo pics, I assume they’re gonna do hunting flashbacks with Anthony and Edmund. I can’t find exactly where Kate fits in there though.

GOD I HOPE THE BEE STING MOMENT®️ IS STILL THERE!!! MAYBE THE FUNNIEST PART IN THE BOOK, AND A GOOFY HILARIOUS MISCOMMUNICATION.

I like the consistency with wardrobe, (particularly the featheringtons) and how they’re keeping Penelope in the gaudy fits until much later.

Eloise is out now ig! Ik her and Penelope are sort of having their own little B plot throughout the season, and idk if I’m looking forward to it. I kind of lean in favor of book Eloise as opposed to Netflix Eloise ngl. That might change though!

I LOOOVE the snippet we got of the Bridgerton Boys at the races with nearly identical fits bc all they talk about in the books is how it’s hard to tell them apart sometimes.

Speaking of, if seems like we’ll be getting more Benedict and Colin this season!!!

Benedict had more of a personality in the first season of the show than he did in the books until his own, and even then it didn’t exactly feel like something earned. J like how we’re building up to him (maybe my fav brother)

Hyped to see further Colin mischief

I SAW ANTHONY WITH THE PINK MALLET IM SO EXCITED

Seeing Daphne again made me smile. Simon is in the Pall Mall game in the book, but we already know he’s not showing up this season. But we DO get a baby!!! That child looks so fuckin precious!!

The way he LOOKS at Kate!! WMMMMM ghhhhhhhhhhh

Kinda sad that the River incident doesn’t happen via Newton chase, but I’m satiated because of that bit where he’s angrily getting out of the water.

speaking of,,,,,,, W-WROW🥵😳

Kate Sharma is a lucky lucky woman 😭😭😭😭

I think that’s all I have to say about it for now but AAAAAAAAAAA

I wont be able to stop blabbing about it, and I know I’m going to be veeeeery frustrated when it gets more hype again. I watched/read the bridgerton series once the hype died, and now I don’t think I’m gonna survive its return. I’m gonna have to try and zip my lips at every turn and force my own opinions down my throat so I don’t,,,, y’know,,,,, kill ppl-

ANYWAY THATS IT

Love y’all!!

#ophie blabs #bridgerton #the viscount who loved me #netflix #Kate sharma #Edwina Sharma #anthony bridgerton #daphne bridgerton #books #this was the best book in the series i stg

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wigwurq · 2 years

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WIG REVIEW: BRIDGERTON SEASON 2

Oscar season is OVER! Now it’s back to trashy TV! The absolute trashiest show I watch (and that’s staying a lot!) is back: BRIDGERTON!!!! This season is all about eldest brother Anthony, some new love interests, definitely NOT THE DUKE, and also and most importantly: FRAN BRIDGERTON! Much like my review of last season, I will be mainly focusing on the most mysterious member of the Bridgerton family, Francesca, who left for about 98% of last season to learn the pianoforte AND I WISHED I WAS WITH HER. Now she’s back (OR IS SHE?) oh and there are also some wigs. Let’s discuss.

EPISODE 1 - Capital R Rake

OMG LOOK IT’S FRAN!!!!! Right up in front! FRAN! YES! The Bridgertons have (mainly) all gathered for something very exciting on the other side of a door. This show is all about eavesdropping and familial togetherhood so this feels fair. Missing, of course, is Colin who is abroad somewhere and THE DUKE who was banished from this season for being too hot but Disney Daphne is there in a wig that can only be described as “Stockholm Syndrome Era Belle.” Also absent is Demi Moore Bridgerton (Eloise!) because that is what they’re all looking at...

DEMI MOORE IS A DEB YOU GUYS! Dressed as a Toulouse-Lautrec painting minus the absinthe, Demi Moore looks about as pleased as anyone would look if their entire family gathered together to see a giant feather on top of her head. Demi is outtttt this season which means the family is gonna try to marry her off but who are we kidding? This is ANTHONY Bridgerton’s season and Demi isn’t getting hitched anytime soon. BUT WHO WILL ANTHONY MARRY?!?!

THIS HORSE GIRL!!! Her name is Kate Sharma, she LOVES HORSES, hates men, has a backstory of questionable lineage, and a wig of ever changing lengths. ANTHONY IS TOTALLY MARRYING THIS BITCH. I’m here for it and honestly this braided wig isn’t bad.

However, Kate’s wig changes lengths constantly whether in a braid, some tendrils, or an updo. Anyway, she just wants to get her wide-eyed (and very Disneyfied) sister married off (hello love triangle!). Edwina Sharma is basically an Indian DD but without the upsetting bangs? She is very sweet and will 100% have her heart broken somehow. They’re staying with my favorite badass, Lady Danbury, and brought their corgi along with them without asking which is a power move made by absolute kweens.

Lady Danbury, who always has some long grift going, sees that Kate is definitely onto some con and yes - she is! I guess Kate’s long lost aristocratic grandparents (who will definitely show up later and be totally horrible) have said they’d un-disown them if Edwina marries a gentleman (HM WHAT WILL HAPPEN). Kate obvs doesn’t tell her sister this and Lady Danbury correctly thinks that’s a bad idea. Side note: WHERE DO THESE BITCHES KEEP ALL THESE TIARAS?!

Anyway, Anthony claims he’ll marry whoever the queen’s “diamond” is and of course it’s Edwina and then Kate conveniently overhears him telling his disgusting dude friends who I hope I never see again about how he’s just gonna marry whatever rando whatever who cares and Kate is all HOW DARE YOU!! It is so hysterically obvious that this is all based on The Taming of The Shrew even down to the names and you guys, I can’t. These two assholes are for sure falling in love and adopting like 1000 horses duh.

FRAN WATCH: THE MOST FRAN EVER YOU GUYS!!! Not only is Fran around for Demi’s big feather reveal but she also accompanies the family to the season debut with the queen or whatever it’s called which Demi gets to skip due to Lady Whistledown existing again. Fran then ACTUALLY PLAYS THE PIANOFORTE so that Demi can learn to dance and I love that this show is trying to make it seem like it was worth it for Fran to miss DD’s wedding to learn a musical instrument but like sure?

EPISODE 2 - Off to the Races

I fully didn’t talk about Pen last episode! I love Pen. She is my Derry Girl and she needs to get more respect from everyone around her when not using her, well, PEN to be Lady Whistedown. But more importantly, Derry Girl needs a better wig!! The budget clearly is improved for season 2 but somehow this wig is just worse!!! HOW IS ANYONE EXPECTED TO THINK THIS IS HAIR?!?!?! Everything about it screams off-brand Merida from Brave and truly she deserves better. Oh also, her entire family (the Cinderella Clan) has a new ruler who absolutely sucks - he’s pompous, selfish, and annoying aka he fits in perfectly. Also her sister now gets to get married. Mazel?

Also! Colin is back to the delight of basically no one except Derry Girl and the younger Bridgertons and yes THAT INCLUDES FRAN. Now that all the Bridgertons have reassembled, it’s time to immediately go to the races as if this wasn’t something they had planned on doing forever. Edwina is paired with some rando dude who seems nice enough and sure maybe marry him and not Anthony. Kate is paired with some dude who has heard of India so they talk about how awful English tea is or something. Both Sharma girls’ wigs are definitely the best of the season. Anthony shows up and is a complete asshole who demands lemonade and it’s discovered that Kate’s date was just a ruse for him to get closer to Edwina. RUDE! Kate is mad but also wins at all the horse races because she knows so much about horses. Also this entire scene is basically straight out of that one scene in My Fair Lady and/or Pretty Woman depending.

Also when all the Bridgerton boys get together they......fence? Seems legit. The creative one (Benedict) still claims to NOT be gay but like sure honey. Also Colin is so insufferable talking about his trip abroad like that one friend you had who studied in Paris and refuses to stop wearing berets. He also is still paying games with Derry Girls’ heart by saying his trip made him realize he was in love with....HIMSELF? Yeah that adds up. Derry Girl, you can do better!

Meanwhile, Derry Girl is almost found out by her best friend Demi who really is being a detectress about the Lady Whistledown type setting and truly: I wish this show was all about fonts? Anyway...Derry Girl goes to some poor people market to get a new type key and throw Demi off her trail and of course is spotted by everyone’s favorite dress maker, Madame Delacroix!!! To be fair, Derry Girl (using an Irish accent! YES!) is wearing the most RIDICULOUSLY CONSPICUOUS BLUE CAPE TO THIS MARKET! She’s legit dressed like OG Cinderella’s fairy godmother and is like: wait how did I get spotted amongst the unwashed in this very fancy baby blue satin cape?!?! CHOICES PEOPLE.

Speaking of important life choices through fashion, Demi wore THIS HAT to the races! CAN YOU EVEN?!?!?! WHAT CENTURY IS IT?? I also really don’t understand what they’re doing with this wig which is just sitting there and would never be allowed but Demi doesn’t know what she’s doing either because she goes to the printing press to try to uncover Lady Whistledown and is super rude to a printing dude there who is also a lowgrade suffragist and wow these two are definitely gonna bone.

FRAN WATCH: NEVER ENOUGH FRAN!! Despite being semi excited to see Colin, Fran was not featured enough in this episode. I DEMAND MORE PIANOFORTE! EARN IT GIRL!

EPISODE 3 - A Bee In Your Bonnet

We begin with a decade old flashblack! Anthony is a teenager and has...REDDISH HIGHLIGHTS?!?! I don’t know what games this hair is trying to play with my heart but this flashback is playing with all our hearts because it shows how Viscount Bridgerton died and do you remember crying at My Girl? WELL. Get yourself an epipen and stay away from the bees, y’all!

Back in present times, DD and HER BABY are back but definitely NOT THE DUKE NEVER THE DUKE. FRAN IS THERE!! She tells Eloise to hold DD’s baby! Eloise does not want to! FRAN LOVES THE BABY! YAY FOR FRAN! Boo for DD’s weird bangs still.

The whole Bridgerton family is off to their country estate and if you’re wondering why they don’t live here ALL THE TIME the answer is definitely: BEE GHOSTS. Anthony is HAUNTED through this episode by his dad’s bee death and sadder still his mom’s depression and near death during childbirth which was somehow left up to him as teenage viscount. Olde Times were ROUGH you guys. Also rough? DEMI’S WIG!! I don’t know why this is a wig (the actress’s hair is similar) or why it’s allowed to be down or why anything but whatever - let’s all play some really intense version of croquet?

This episode spends A LOT of time explaining the rules of Pall Mall which is like croquet but EXTREME and the Bridgertons are totally that family who would play extreme frisbee or whatever if they were around now. Sporty families, man. UGH. DD is there SANS THE DUKE and her wig is as unacceptable as his absence. The Sharma girls remain with the best wigs of the season. Also of course, Kate’s pall mall ball goes into the forest and she and Antony basically take a mud bath which is the second most erotic secret forest mud bath this side of The Power of the Dog. It’s all sexy until they uncover Anthony’s dad’s grave. BEE GHOSTS GET YOU EVERY TIME.

I really lost track of how many times these assholes almost kissed in this episode but the most insane one was when Kate gets stung by a bee and Anthony has a panic attack about it (MAKES SENSE!) and then she puts his hand on her heaving breast and you guys...THIS SHOW. They still haven’t kissed. And Anthony still hasn’t explained how he got rid of his teenage red highlights.

Meanwhile, the creative one wants to go to art school (SURE HENNY!) and in a series of scenes in which this show attempts to be...”funny” (???) he takes mushroom (?) tea supplied by Colin’s stupid overseas travels and trips his balls off and everyone is just like SHRUG that’s our creative brother for you! AND THIS CHARACTER IS HIGH ON TEA AND YOU’RE TELLING ME HE’S NOT GAY?!?!? He got into art school though so let’s see where this goes.

ANYWAY! Derry Girl and Madame Delacroix, now aware of all the Lady Whistledown secrets, form a super cool business lady club where they help each other and I’ve never been so excited about business lady specials since Romy & Michele you guys.

FRAN WATCH: STILL NOT ENOUGH FRAN! Sure, she’s excited to be an auntie to a very cute baby and shame Demi for not liking children but WHY COULDN’T SHE PLAY PALL MALL?!?!?! JUSTICE FOR FRAN!

EPISODE 4 - Victory

I really haven’t spoken enough about how awful the Cinderella Clan’s wigs are ALWAYS but honestly all of their red wigs hurt my eyes so I’d rather see and discuss them as little as possible. But their current situation is: POVERTY! And by that I mean: they have but ONE servant. Peasants!! In order to improve their situation, mama Featherington has decided to marry her non-Derry Girl daughter off to THEIR COUSIN WHO LIVES WITH THEM. Complicating matters is of course: CRESSIDA! Cressida who ALWAYS has a stink face. Cressida who always has a wig that looks like a Maury episode of weave wars. Cressida who will ALWAYS be the other woman. Cressida who has the audacity to be named CRESSIDA. MAY SHE NEVER CHANGE.

MEANWHILE, the Bridgertons are now hosting like all of London at their fancy countryside mansion which is definitely still haunted by BEE GHOSTS. All the dudes get to go on a cool hunting expedition and of course, horse girl Kate wants in on the action. The patriarchy says NO but then kind of shrug I guess AS LONG AS YOU BRING YOUR LADYMAID WHO CANNOT WALK THROUGH A FOREST. Obviously, this leads to ample opportunities for Kate and Anthony to almost kiss but more importantly leads to Kate wearing the SHIT OUT OF THIS HAT.

Whilst in the country, Colin decides to pay a visit on his long lost secret ex-fiance that he is still pining after: Marina who is now a fancy aristocrat with a nice husband and TWINS. Mazel! When her husband comes home, he and Colin literally start talking about OLIVE TREES just like two insufferable Euro bros would and this gives Colin the opportunity to tell Marina he’s still not over her. Marina, who you may recall came to this show pregnant, then had to live with the awful Cinderella Clan who almost married her off to the worst dudes in London, then her lover died, then she almost had to marry Colin and then was last minute married to her lover’s brother has honestly DONE PRETTY WELL FOR HERSELF CONSIDERING has ZERO time for Colin’s fee-fees. GOOD FOR YOU, MARINA!! LITERALLY GET OVER YOURSELF COLIN AND GO BACK TO GREECE NO ONE HAS TIME FOR YOU HERE!!!!

Well I guess except Derry Girl who is still pining over this loser and still has the worst wig on this show. Truly: get this chick a better wig!!! ALSO WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO DANCE WITH HER?!?! Demi is forced to dance with some rando who she burns immediately but I guess no one is dancing with her because of her terrible family’s plan to marry her sister off with her cousin. Which actually turns into an engagement of nonsense in an ORANGERIE!!! I want all bad marriage proposals to happen near citrus fruit because at least no one will get scurvy. Joke is definitely on the Cinderella Clan because the cousin is actually poor and needed Cressida’s weave war money but oh well: WHAT HAPPENS IN THE ORANGERIE DOESN’T STAY IN THE ORANGERIE. D’oops!

Back on the dance floor, these assholes STILL. HAVE. NOT. KISSED. I really don’t know what games they are playing with us but Kate’s wig is definitely getting the tendril treatment and despite being one of the better wigs on this series, still is all over the place with how long it wants us to think her real hair is. After the ball, Anthony confides to Kate about all the BEE GHOSTS and her hair is in this messy braid that is definitely 50% longer than the wig above would lead us to believe. More unbelievable: THEY STILL HAVEN’T KISSED AND SHE’S LIKE JUST MARRY MY SISTER. Disaster!

The episode ends with an actual proposal! Kate’s face says it all: THIS IS SO STUPID!! Also her wig is looking not that great here but I think this wig realizes just how dumb this proposal is.

FRAN WATCH: ZERO FRANS!!!!! Even with the entire Bridgerton clan (INCLUDING DD) on the front steps as this stupid engagement happens. WHERE IS FRAN?!?!! FRAN KNOWS HOW STUPID THIS ALL IS! TAKE ME WITH YOU, FRAN!

EPISODE 5 - An Unthinkable Fate

I realize that I haven’t talked about the queen’s insane wigs at all. This is because we know them to be wigs within the narrative of the show and I am only concerned with wigs trying to pass themselves off as real hair. Still, these wigs are elaborate and fabulous (THERE IS EVEN A BLUE ONE YOU GUYS) and befitting a real queen (drag or otherwise). Clearly the entire wig budget went to her and honestly: spare some $$ for Derry Girl please!

I mean spare some money for any of the Cinderella Clan? No really: they need money and not just for wigs! Due to the orangerie proposal, they are now moving forward with just marrying this sister off to her cousin so they can keep their house but have NO MONEY FOR UGLY DRESSES. It should be noted that the cousin is also a ruby con artist (SURE!) and their plot this week involves deciding to pass off fake rubies to make some coin and nothing has ever been more on brand for these idiots. ALSO! We meet the cake-hungry jeweler who is terrible at overhearing all of Kate and Anthony’s discussion of engagements because FREE CAKE (and truly: priorities).

Meanwhile, in other money making schemes: the boxer from last season has now retired into...owning a gentleman’s club? That caters specifically to artsy bros aka Colin and Benedict Bridgerton? I mean: get that money, honey but this feels absolutely not sustainable in just decanter fees alone.

As for the creative Bridgerton, he has begun art school and it is SO NOT HOMOSEXUAL ENOUGH. Despite wearing the most insane ascots, he is titillated by, well, tits and begins a really boring romance with the FEMALE nude model for the school who is also a budding art student herself. I realize that he had sex with women last season (Madame Delacroix!) but I am super disappointed in how not gay this storyline is. BOO!

In other boring cisgender romance storylines, Demi might have found herself a boyfriend!! As foretold in the episode where she is guided by typekey fonts, she goes to a suffrage meeting with that printer guy!!! He is very cute and this is 100% the same as the Downton Abbey season where Sybil falls in love with Tom and I really hope this doesn’t end with anyone getting preeclampsia. It does so far end with Demi lying to Derry Girl about her whereabouts but to be fair, Derry Girl has been lying to Demi this entire time about not being Lady Whistledown. SECRETS DON’T MAKE FRIENDS!

AAaaanyway, over at some boat races or whatever, Kate and Anthony get into some quarrel that ends with ANTHONY IN A WET TSHIRT JUST LIKE COLIN FIRTH IN BOTH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ALSO BRIDGET JONES’ DIARY. EMERGENCY YOU GUYS THIS IS THE ONLY IMPORTANT TRIBUTE THIS SHOW HAS EVER MADE. Excellent work!!

Oh wait there’s actually more of this episode!! Kate’s long grift this entire season has been to get a secret dowry from her horrible grandparents who disinherited her father long ago BUT they said she could only get some coin if Edwina married a gentleman. She obvs didn’t tell her sister any of this despite all of Lady Danbury’s warnings and then they come to dinner and it’s as awful as you might imagine. The grandad is played by the dude who also plays an asshole in Ted Lasso and *chef’s kiss* casting, you guys. Of course, they tell everyone about the whole dowry requirement and Anthony defends Edwina and despite this being a PERFECT OUT of this whole stupid engagement (AND ALSO BECAUSE THEY FINALLY ADMIT THEY ARE HOT FOR EACH OTHER WITHOUT ACTUALLY KISSING), Kate (in her messy long braid wig!) tells Anthony (and some horses) that he must marry Edwina so that she won’t be heartbroken. QUICK GET EDWINA ANOTHER DUDE STAT! DISASTER!

FRAN WATCH: NO FRANS!!! WHERE IS FRAN?!?!?!

EPISODE 6 - The Choice

Welp...here we are guys! Wedding of the season! The Queen has some new wigs, some new peacocks, and A TON OF COCAINE. What could go wrong?!?!? The Bridgertons and Sharmas are just going along as if this farce of a wedding is actually going to happen and oy vey. The only voice of reason comes in the form of DD (SANS DUKE EVEN AT A FAMILY WEDDING ARE YOU KIDDING ME). DD and her stupid bangs tell Anthony to follow his heart just moments before the wedding. WHAT IS HE GONNG DO? Meanwhile, Kate (in a braid honestly too close to the scalp) offers Edwina (in a pretty nice wig!) some bracelets owned by her mother and Edwina is all: no you keep them! Her fate is now sealed forever because we all know that JEWELRY WILL CURSE YOU FOREVER.

The jewelry curse is in effect basically IMMEDIATELY when Kate drops one of the bracelets, Anthony fetches it for her, and Edwina is FINALLY all: WAIT MY SISTER AND MY FIANCE ARE IN LOVE? ON THE ALTER YOU GUYS! She storms out, the wedding guests are shook, literal fireworks go off, and society and this tv show both simultaneously implode.

The Queen, who has bought herself MATCHING WIGS WITH HER LADIES IN WAITING is PISSED. Mama Bridgerton, Mama Sharma, And Lady Danbury have no clue what to do and everyone just sort of lets Edwina decide if she should get married which is definitely the ONLY TIME A WOMAN HAS DECIDED HER MARITAL FATE ON THIS SHOW. In what should probably have taken 5 minutes, the rest of this episode descends into madness while Edwina takes HOURS to make this choice. Meanwhile, Anthony stares into the middle distance, likely haunted by BEE GHOSTS and Kate cries IN A PUNCH BOWL CLOSET I’M NOT KIDDING!!! Legit question: did I miss a writers’ strike because it really felt like NO ONE WROTE THIS EPISODE.

The wedding guests at some point decide to leave the church and wander indeterminably around the palace gardens, avoiding peacocks and allowing society to crumble around them. Was there an actual wedding planner besides the queen? Will some bitch with a clipboard ever tell them the wedding is still on or nah? Everyone is just losing their minds: Mama Featherington and the new Lord Featherington are FLIRTING despite him being betrothed to her daughter, being mean to that wrestler dude, and trying to pass fake jewels to rich assholes! Cressida has a new and insane weave! Colin is drinking champagne and being nice to Derry Girl (TOO LATE DUDE!) Anthony’s shitty friends are back! And most insultingly, Demi betrays her own Bechdel Test by ONLY talking about that printing press dude who I will now be referring to as NEWSIE based on my love of the movie Newsies and not his actual profession. Demi wisely leaves with her bangs AND TENDRILS (huh?!) to see if Newsie is in LIKE with her and yes he is because he gave her some dusty old books and these two are as good as married now.

JK JK no one is getting married! Or are they?!?! Time still doesn’t exist and neither do wedding rules: THEY START SERVING WEDDING CAKE DESPITE NO WEDDING! WTF!! I tried to use this as a hint that our favorite cake-hungry jeweler would show up and save the day by suggesting that if Kate and Edwina have the same ring size, they probably have the same dress size so just: SWITCH DRESSES AND LET’S HAVE A WEDDING! (This did not happen). I’d like to point out that in 50% of screwball comedies (see: The Philadelphia Story), messed up weddings are usually fixed by interchangeable brides and grooms because wasting a wedding is stupid. BUT SO IS THIS SHOW! And it is far from a screwball comedy - it is just an endless tragedy and even Mama Bridgerton and Lady Danbury, racked with guilt and updos, don’t know what to do but just laugh LAUGH AND LAUGH (YES REALLY WHAT IS HAPPENING!)

Edwina finally decides not to marry Anthony (DUH) and NO ONE POINTS OUT THAT KATE SHOULD JUST MARRY HIM INSTEAD! THEY ARE SERIOUSLY WASTING A WEDDING! THESE TWO ASSHOLES WILL GET HITCHED ANYWAY! THE WASTE AND THE DECADENCE I CAN’T!! Everyone just sort of shrugs and leaves including Mama Bridgerton and DD and her insufferable bangs!

Inside the church, these two assholes FINALLY KISS while society as we know it crumbles outside. WHATEVER!!!

FRAN WATCH: NO FRIGGIN FRANS!! AT HER BROTHER’S WEDDING! I finally actually googled what is going on with this and apparently the chick who plays Fran actually had another tv gig and is only in the first 3 episodes. This will not stop me from 1) bemoaning her absence and 2) bemoaning the fact that this show had the audacity to not even excuse her absence with some lame pianoforte sabbatical! There legit must have been a writers’ strike I missed, right??!?!

EPISODE 7 - Harmony

Well the world is continuing to spin even though everyone just ruined 1) Edwina’s heart and 2) a perfectly good wedding. There is some really dodgy footage of Kate and Anthony definitely masturbating to the idea of once kissing and yuck!!!

And then! The Bridgertons are all sitting around (SANS FRAN) and decide the only reasonable thing to do is: PROMENADE!!! And the promenade proves that the Sharmas and the Bridgertons are complete social outcasts. Now the Sharmas, Lady Danbury, and the Bridgertons are all just hanging out like: WHAT DO WE DO NOW TO MAINTAIN SOCIETY?? Kate’s wig is like...meh whatever but her dog suddenly is into Anthony! And Edwina is all: WHOA YOU GUYS ARE IN LOVE PLEASE DON’T MAKE OUT LITERALLY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!

Meanwhile, the gay one who is NOT GAY is I guess just super bougie? AND ALSO HAS A DRUG PROBLEM MAYBE?!?!! Anthony DOES NOT APPROVE and hard same but like the Bridgertons can only handle one scandal at a time? Oh except now Colin might invest in the Cinderella Clan’s fake ruby mines (OF COURSE UGH COLIN) and the Queen essentially told Demi that she’s going to murder her if she doesn’t admit she’s Lady Whistledown oh and also everyone hates the Bridgertons because of the failed wedding. DISASTER!

My two very favorite businessladies meet next to the coziest fireplace this side of Yellowjackets and talk about what they’re gonna do about the whole Queen threatening Demi thing. Madame Delacroix in ringlets too magical to be true suggests that Derry Girl print something bad about Demi that she would never say about herself (excellent idea, awful consequences!) Derry Girls’ wig has smoothed out in a way that is really trying to be The Little Mermaid and bitch knows what she has to do: DESTROY DEMI!!!

Meanwhile, the Sharmas, Bridgertons and Lady Danbury (who I’m just gonna call Eartha Kitt now - I mean come on) decide the way to fix their societal issues is to: THROW A BALL!!! THE THEME IS LITERALLY HARMONY AND NO I’M NOT KIDDING!! No one shows up because the one thing people like more than wasting a perfectly good wedding is wasting a perfectly good ball. And then Anthony solves everything by just DANCING!!! It has come to my attention that Jonathan Bailey is actually gay (HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS) and clearly took a lesson from the Rupert Everett school: there may not be love, there might not be sex....BUT BY GOD THERE WILL BE DANCING!!!! It is all a total hodown until Lady Whistledown publishes that Demi is a trashy minx who is carrying on UNCHAPERONED! MY PEARLS!!!

SPEAKING OF UNCHAPERONED!! Kate and Anthony meet undera Wisteria laden, candlelit, throw pillowed sex gazebo....and....THEY. HAVE. SEX.

IN AN OPEN AIR SEX GAZEBO!

YOU GUYS!! THE FEATHERINGTON BITCH GOT ENGAGED JUST FOR BEING IN AN ORANGERIE SOMEWHAT NEAR HER COUSIN.

THIS SHOW IS BANANAS!!!!!!

AND THEN! Anthony wakes up in the same sex gazebo (HE SLEPT THERE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!) to obviously find NO KATE because, well, she has common sense?!

Take it back - she has common sense UNTIL she decides to punish (?) herself for premarital gazebo sex by riding her horse in the rain and then Anthony chases after her and then HER HORSE THROWS HER! IN THE RAIN! I know this show is trying to be Pride and Prejudice but now it’s trying to be Sense and Sensibility too?

FRAN WATCH: NO FRIGGIN FRANS!!! This show had the common decency to tell us that DD’s son “had a cough” thus why she and the Duke had to miss the Harmony Ball but WHERE IS FRAN’S EXCUSE?! Hyacinth was forced to play the pianoforte instead! THE HELL, FRAN?!?!?!

EPISODE 8 - The Viscount Who Loved Me

HERE WE ARE! THE LAST EPISODE! We did it! And so did Kate and Anthony and now Kate is in a coma out of sex gazebo horse girl guilt. And truly: EXCUSE HER GLAMOUR. As in: there is absolutely no excuse for the gorgeous glamour of this woman whilst in an actual coma. HOW DARE SHE. Her glorious locks have never looked better. A week goes by, Anthony doesn’t visit her out of moral obligations (?) and finally Edwina just kind of talks her out of the coma and she comes to with absolutely no visible wounds or neurological damage and literally the first thing she asks is: DID ANTHONY VISIT ME. The answer is no so FUCK HIM!!!! He does then visit her with tulips (TULIPS!!!) and asks her to marry her but she says no because she thinks it’s out of obligation and OMG YOU GUYS WE’RE ON THE FINAL EPISODE GET IT TOGETHER.

Ok they get it together kind of immediately because the Cinderella Clan are having a ball to celebrate their fake ruby pyramid scheme and Edwina and Kate make up and dance together because screw society!!! I love how much dancing just sort of fixes everything in this show the last two episodes. The hair on these two is...fine? Anyway, Kate and Anthony then dance and everyone is like SCANDAL but then the Queen says she likes the pairing so everyone falls in line. She also suggests Edwina marry her nephew the prince (remember him?) and I approve of this pairing of two sorta boring but nice people.

OH AND CRESSIDA is in her most extreme weave war to date. LOOK AT THIS WIG!!!! HOW IS THIS LEGAL?!?! Also not legal: that whole ruby pyramid scheme which Colin points out to everyone thanks to the intel he got from that boxer dude and the whole Cinderella Clan go into crisis mode.

The stupid new Lord Featherington tells Mama Featherington, in a wig that can only be described as Hello, Dolly! meets Marie Antoinette that they should run away to the Americas together and in the first (and I’m sure last) time I will ever respect her, Mama Featherington is like: NOPE BYE I CHOOSE MY DAUGHTERS AND NOT YOU BUT GIVE ME SOME MONEY BYEEEEE. Well played. And goodbye forever, Lord Featherington. We hardly knew ye, and yet that was still too long.

In far more heartbreaking Cinderella Clan news, Derry Girl and Demi have a fight!!!! Derry Girl had warned Demi about seeing Newsie because of the SCANDAL of it all (and also to hide her identity as Lady Whistledown) but then decides to basically clue her in to how much she knows about gossip! Demi is catching on and all I can think about is Derry Girl’s new wig which is somehow in a braided CHINGON as if she’s eating Breakfast at Tiffanys and WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE YOU PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART WITH THIS WIG?!

Many more games are played with our heart with these two and it’s kind of the only breakup I’ve ever cared about in this show. Demi discovers all of Derry Girl’s secret floorboard gossip columns and they hiss at each other and it’s all really sad. So is Demi’s wig!! Unacceptable!

Meanwhile we have 10 minutes left in the show and the pace of loose ends is running at breakneck speed because we wasted so much time on that stupid slow moving wedding episode and now THERE. IS. TOO. MUCH. HAPPENING. Everyone goes outside because Mama Featherington promised them a surprise. Derry Girl is all excited to maybe have Colin FINALLY profess his love to her but of course, Anthony’s smarmy friends reemerge and she overhears him telling them that he could never love her. I HATE YOU, COLIN! YOU CAN DO BETTER, DERRY GIRL!

Meanwhile, Benedict is wearing the most insane ascot/neckerchief and still claiming to not be gay (SURE!) and is pissed at Anthony for paying his way into art school and is gonna quit which is the biggest waste of money since that wasted ball and that wasted wedding both in this season. DECADENCE! The decadence keeps coming in the form of FIREWORKS mere seconds after Kate and Anthony FINALLY ADMIT THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND BECOME BETROTHED. PHEW!

Also Colin vaguely redeems himself by bringing all the smarmy bros to the boxer dude’s gentlemen’s club which is a great solid since he did save everyone from financial ruby ruin but now he has to serve drinks to total assholes. I guess it’s a living!

In the end, these two assholes have sex and we see some lady parts and they’re married and LATE to a family game of PALL MALL (THIS STUPID GAME!) and Kate has a really intense french braid which isn’t as intense as the PDA they display in front of BOTH OF THEIR FAMILIES! OK? HAPPILY EVER AFTER JUST WATCH OUT FOR THE BEE GHOSTS.

FRAN WATCH: NO FRANS. ZERO FRANS. ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO FRANS!!!!! The Duke is also not there, though his kid is walking and DD is around to play pall mall. BUT WHO WILL PLAY THE PIANOFORTE FOR ANYONE!! I DEMAND MORE FRANS NEXT SEASON! HARRUMPH!

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

#wigwurq #bridgerton #bridgertonseason2 #DisneyDaphne #HorseGirls #FRANWATCH #DerryGirl #BEEGHOSTS #MudBaths #ArtSchoolHenny #TEA #SHUTUPCOLIN

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darcylightninglewis · 2 years

Text

I have a lot to say about Bridgerton ya’ll. If you loved it, don’t read this. If you don’t handle concrit of things you love, don’t read it. (It’s not all bad, but there is a lot.)

Positive

Kate/Anthony meeting was lovely. I’m still sad they didn’t do closer to the book because SIBLINGS but I guess the writers don’t like every couple meeting at a party? (In the books Benedict does too).

Benedict is a gift and I will treat him as such for he is best boy.

PALL MALL. THE DEATH MALLOT. THE MUD SCENE.

WINSTON. Needed more 14/10 no issues, should have hung out with Benedict.

Lady Crane & Sir Philip For a historical fantasy novel they did a lovely job of at least nodding to the fact that not everyone gets a romantic match. Does it suck? Yes. Is it honest? Yes. Marina fairs far better than her historical counterparts would (black or not, unwed mothers didn’t have many options, no matter how pure the intentions actually were in the end) and Philip being as solid husband as he can and a devoted father? Neither are in love but they’re making the most of it. I loved Marina trying to steer Colin away from the past, and trying to point out Pen without being obvious.

Madame Delacroix. That is all.

Portia Mother Fuckin’ Featherington, she a badass bitch and I respect her hustle. I may not like her choices, the treatment of Penelope but she wants to provide for her daughters and I respect that.

More Danbury & Bridgerton goodness.

PEN & COLIN WRITING. That seemed like an oversight not happening in the books so I’m pleased.

Edwina is an adorable little dumpling.

Kate is fucking queen.

THE UST OMFG. HOW HOT ARE THEY?! “All the things I could teach you?” *swoon*

Setting up Benedict being into the “lower class”. I mean, I kinda hoped for the masquerade but they seem so set in not setting up much beyond a line or two for the next season.

Negative/Neutral

Before we get started, yes I know it’s based on the books but they changed things. That being said, a lot of them have no reason to be changed and make little to no sense.

Pacing is extremely uneven.

The casting was great, you’ll find no issues here. However their characterization’s were far more extreme and I don’t think it worked. They pretty much painted Kate as the bad guy for fuck sake.

Eloise is too much, she’s an independent spirit, could have cut one of those scenes. Takes too long to get to her insecurities imho.

So here’s my take on Eloise: yeah she could be coded as queer and that’d be amazing but I think it highly unlikely (honestly, I doubt we’ll get to her story tbh). With that off the table, I think Theo makes sense. They’re setting her up for being into an intellectual. Every male outside their family is shallow with a narrow sexist mind of what women can do. In her world/circle marriage is a death sentence and not until you are a widow are you possibly allowed any freedom and what is expected. Despite some thirty years ago the biggest political names were repped by WOMEN. Theo is the first person to agree with her and go “yeah and?” so I’m not shocked and I think they were cute even if doomed.

Pen is SLOPPY (I personally dislike her whistledown setup, seems lazy considering what they could have used from the books, but since she’s introduced as new to society in S1, it’s odd pacing of her as an author and her knowledge. It comes across more mean than retribution for past behaviour considering her comparative lack of envelopment in society until last season.)

Anthony’s father issues could have gone deeper as in the books, for what they are it just seemed really spaced out but I did love the flashbacks. Edmund = 💖

THE WEDDING. THE FUCK WAS THAT. There was no need for this, beyond making it more painful for all. Which okay, it’s a tv show, drama drama drama but the end is so poorly paced and rushed. There is no time. What is time in this show? The amount of times someone says something like “this will pass in a week/the ton will forget” WHEN?! HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? A WEEK? A FORTNIGHT? MARCH 2020? THE FUCK.

The fact that it STILL TAKES THEM until the end of THE LAST EPISODE to get them together, for fuck sake. Like, I think it would have been better if the writing were better but it felt like it was dragging.

I personally hate the way they’re using the whole “diamond” bullshit. I think it’s dumb and lazy personally.

I don’t mind the modern of use of fabrics and jewelry. (the jewelry was stepped this season, so well done there) but silk booty shorts? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

UUUUUUGH. Okay, so that scene. It was going to happen. But idk, I kinda wish it was (shocker) closer to the books. A. Because Pen deserves some fucking support. She’s close to the entire family, not just Eloise & Colin so they’d care if she was hurt and if their bone headed sibling had been the cause. B. WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER. LAUDING IT OVER COLIN. It also would have given Anthony, the main brother for the season another way to be emotionally open in his own way. I know we’re supposed to just assume a lot but for fuck sake, they could have at least let Pen look him or Violet in the eyes when she said how sorry she was for the wedding not happening. I just, one second she’s super shy, around people that are supposed to be like second kin to her, the next she’s sobbing hysterically in public. Then she’s talking down strangers about financial deals. I know she has layers but I feel like I can’t keep track of them anymore.

Eloise & Pen? Just, the fuck. No. The whiplash I get from Eloise is just oo much.

Also, this bugged me in the books, how didn’t she know Pen was in love with Colin? Or was it blatant purposeful ignorance? For them being BFF, at least Pen is observant, Eloise just talks and talks at Pen about her own shit. That’s not a friendship.

#bridgerton #bridgerton concrit

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anarchistbitch · 2 years

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hi hiiii

before I reply to everything else

Bridgerton.

KSJDJDJSKSKSSK I AM IN LOOOOOOOVE WITH KATE the scenes where she smiled or laughed added 10 years to my lifespan each

Anthony you dumbass bitch (affectionate), that post that said something like 'Anthony saying I'm a gentleman before acting like the biggest whore' so true <3333 I adore him

I feel bad for Edwina but she really was that blind bc those two were eyefucking every single time they were around each other and when they were not eyefucking they were trying to devour the other through their eyes, seriously wtf and come on at the lake she saw Kate staring at sopping wet Anthony and that post about how she kept sending them on dates, sorry baby but 🤡👌🏻

their last scenes together were my absolute favorite, I loved seeing them so happy and in love even if I was also thinking "damn bro, your whole family is right there"

I'll admit I laughed when Kate's accident happened bc it felt so damn dramatic and I couldn't take it too seriously but tHEN I SAW ANTHONY CRYING OVER HER WAKING UP AND I CRIED TOO BITCH THE FUCK

both of them had really complicated views on love and ah, I'm just glad that by the end they get to experience and enjoy it

I still cackle everytime I see a gif of the scene where Anthony smells the air after she walks by and Lady Danbury looks at him SO unimpressed and done ksdjdjdjsj it's just gold

Edwina as her own character was fantastic, I loved her so much, she's amazing and I hope she gets the happiness she deserves

Penelope, oh Penelope, I can understand her actions but I also disagree with some of them, her fallout with Eloise hurt a lot, she got into a very complicated spot with Lady Whistledown tbh, I wonder how Colin will take it when he finds out and how it will get resolved since the queen is so dead set on finding her

Lady Featherington and Lord Featherington made me so uncomfortable ugh despite that I really like Lady Featherington as a character, it's hilarious how most things always end up coming back to bite her into he ass but she is a woman put in a situation that today would be very complicated and it would be even more so in the 19th century so I do appreciate her

another scene that made me cry was the one with Gregory and Anthony in the study, it's just so painful that he doesn't really remember him and Hyacinth never even knew him

the pall-mall scenes were so fantastic, Anthont and Kate rolling in the mud my beloved <33 and the scene at the libry(study?) damn, it just took me out, I need to see Anthony reading to Kate when it storms

I also cried when Lady Mary had her talk with Kate about how she was family and she deserved all the love in the world, took me the fuck out (after Edwina left the wedding and she called Kate her half sister, that felt like a slap and I needed to see them reestablish Kate as an unquestionable part of the family)

my mans the jeweler was hilarious and the true mvp for making Kate try on the ring and when it got stuck? poetic cinema (also, between you and me, when I was little I used the very same tactic he used to get cake, super effective)

Benedict dragging Byron? loved it sksjdjzjzk

Colin and his drug tho ksndjdsksksksk that made me laugh so much too

idk about you but I absolutely hated the way Eloise just went through Penelope's room like that, that would've infuriated me but maybe that's bc my room us very own personal haven

I'm kinda sad that we didnt get to see Kate and Anthony's wedding

I couldn't help but notice how Lady Danbury, Lady Mary and Lady Bridgerton made a widow's club

ANYWAY, those are all the thoughts I can share rn cause hw awaits me, holy week can't come fast enough

take rest and eat good food!

tons of love, M♡

babe im so sorry tumblr glitched and i thought it posted before??? AHHHHH

ANYWAY. bridgerton. yes.

KATHANI SHARMA MY LOVE. i loooved the actor in sex education but in bridgerton idk she just blew it out of the stadium cuz dude. literally cannot stop thinking of the intense eye contact during the wedding scene.

AND THIS SHOT

SIMONE ASHLEY IS A MFING PRINCESS

anthony going"im a gentlemen" while trying not to horny LMAOOO

edwina really set them on a date leading to more anthony horny™ thoughts like dude took one look at legs and kbfksbfkerifehri

like dude they can't NOT look at each others eyes normally its always a)ravenous b) horny c) in LOVE

that scene where anthony is making out with kate in front of his family reminded me of that one zayn malik paparazzi photo where bella removed zayn's hand from gigi's butt cause they were lichrally in public lmaooo

honestly all i could think of during that scene where kate runs on her horse was the headless horseman[yea my thoughts wander a lot] and it def cut the tension but the next episode being titles the viscount who loved me(loved as in past tense freaked me out for a second there)

ppl really watched anthony and kate crush on each other in the most repressed way and collectively thought ,"we should let them handle it on their own" like no!!! interfere!! interfere!!

lady danbury everytime kathony looked at e/o

i love seeing pyramid schemes in different settings but lord featherington was disgustang😒 but lady featherington girlbossed and gatekept!! respect for that!!

oh i was fully on the floor when gregory said that cause the full story of the bridgerton patriarch's death fucked me up man😢 the way anthony stepped up as a father figure to his youngest siblings yea,, ;-;

oh man i didnt even check ao3 for bridgerton yet😳😳 but yea anthony would def read for kate during storms😊😊[the amount of times im writing the names-kate and anthony,,, im gonna say a & k]

edwina getting angry at the wedding was so full of raw anger and betrayal i really loved who that scene was acted out and the way she said "half-sister" . that hurt bad even for me. mary taking the time to reassure that k was a part of the family from the moment she had seen her , that hurt too 😭😭 they care for each other so much and its just. family yk???

that scene with the ring getting stuck was actually a's dad trying to tell a that he should marry k god bless him🙏🏾🙏🏾 [also im p sure the only reason that kate didnt give him cake anyway was cause it wasnt her house cause bro you gotta give ppl who visit ur house smth!! and that cake looked so good too,,]

no one hates byron more than everyone else-benedict bridgerton

colin does the absolute most every season like ?? youre going through a dinner high?? in front of ur entire family??

i think at that point eloise was at a breaking point with all those dead ends and many many scandals that she just had to know but was mostly hinging on penelope admission that yes she was lady whistledown [its like that cassie scene from euphoria s2, they knew the truth by the others reaction] but its was still a huge invasion of privacy. and how did eloise know how to look under the floor too??

i hope we get to see kanthonys wedding soon😔

best of luck on ur hw!!! take care , take rest and stay safe mwah mwha MWAH

#m for mwah!!

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ntshastark · 2 years

Text

KATHONY SUPREMACY

Bridgerton Season 2 liveblog: Part 1 (eps 1-3)

(SPOILERS!!)

ok siena is on the recap, so they haven’t entirely forgotten her (if this is good or bad news remains to be seen)

Episode 1

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

🥺

SLDKIFJBNSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anthony/simon friendship crumbs!!

GREG IS SO BIG AND STANDING IN FOR COLIN AS BENEDICT’S PARTNER IN TEASING ANTHONY I’M GONNA CRY

oh god this makeup... she looks 30 (which is claudia’s age but yk)

lmao penelope did save her in the end

“KARMA IS A BITCH, FUCKER”

THE PALL MALL AND THE CLOCK IN THE OPENING

ugh i hate that they only show it on the first episode, it’s so fucking gorgeous

bitch you seemed to think so when you were pretending to be her

NICOLA’S REAL ACCENT!!!!!!!!!!

GREGORY MY TEENY TINY BABY BOY, DANCING WITH HIS OLDER SISTER

me, in the middle of a mental breakdown:

jesus christ, he’s a menace to society

lmaooo

“Lady Julia - a romantic

Miss Quinn - an exceptional writer”

SHE’S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BITCH SAME

omg i LOVED this new first meeting of theirs. daphmon’s i was so bummed they changed, even if they kept the punch scene for later on, but THIS???? CHEFS KISS

IT’S PERFECT, IT’S PERFECT, IT’S PERFECT, THEY’VE ABSOLUTELY NAILED KATHONY THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE REAL STAR OF THE SHOW HAS ARRIVED

unfortunately, i am under the obligation to retract every single good thing i’ve ever sair about lady danbury

EDWINA IS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING, I WANNA SQUEEZE HER

AND KATE LOVES HER SO FUCKING MUCH

lmaoooo

lol of course she would

HE’S SUCH A DICK, I LOVE HIM

AND I WONDER WHO HE TAKES IT FROM

wait, so the sheffield is still there???? 👀

ooo so it’s mary’s surname now

MARY I SEE YOU

.......

are they heavier on the historical references this season or do i just know more about georgian times than back when s1 came out???

(though lord byron is quite difficult to miss lmao)

THE FIRST LOOK SCENE WHERE SHE DRAGGED HIM WHITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE

SUCH A LITTLE SHIT

ooo this kate vs lady danbury dynamic is gonna be interesting

MAY I PROPOSE A COMMON SOLUTION?????????????

THEM

Them <3

CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM

i mean, technically there is no right side up to a map, there’s just the conventionally agreed-upon (by europeans) one

but go on

oooo the plot thickens

SHOTS FIRED

they’re gonna ban this show in england i swear

PENELOISE SUPREMACY

THEY’RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOUR

i really don’t think this was such an official thing

aw, i thought we were gonna have colin introducing them specifically to laugh at anthony's expense like in the book :/

but that would require them to give show!colin some personality, so i guess it’s out of the question

Episode 2

see you guys in a few episodes for the “you’re giving up on your dreams??” “no, dad, i’m giving up on yours” moment

can edwina’s real love interest please show up already????

also, when are anthony’s dirty dreams about kate going to start

someone on twitter mentioned the possibility of at least one of daphne’s former suitors being among the crowd and i haven’t stopped thinking about it since

sweet sweet karma

new reaction picture

this is the second incest joke re: eloise this season lmao

OH MY GOD I’D FORGOTTEN FRANCESCA WAS HERE

oh that’s the dude!!

(and i know he’s gonna hang around kate, but i’ve seen some theories about him ending up with edwina, so i’m 👀 even though ik her future husband in the book is called bagwell)

oh so it’s like that uh

well, here’s for jealous!anthony at least

!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY LOOK SO FANCY!!!!!!!!!

👀👀👀

oh nvm she’s just playing matchmaker

???? did he pay the guy off or something????

THEY

I LOVE KATE SO MUCH I LOVE ANTHONY SO MUCH I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCH THIS IS SO GOOD SO PERFECT I’M GONNA WATCH THIS SCENE 300 MORE TIMES I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES THIS IS THE NEW CLOIS DUNK TANK

I’M ALREADY REWATCHING IT

KATE WHISTLING

“SHOULD WE SEPARATE THEM?”

WHATEVER THE FUCK WAS GOING ON HERE

IT’S PERFECT, I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT

OH MY GOD THEY PULLED A BONUS TAMING OF THE SHREW

(which, fun fact, is very likely the story that started my obsession with enemies-to-lovers)

listen if edwina actually develops feelings for anthony i’m having cvd’s head on a spike

it’s been 1 (one) scene and i’m already shipping eloise and the printing dude way more than i ever did her and phillip oops

GOOD FOR THEM!!!

i’m so intrigued by this featherington cousin and whatever it his plot is actually going to be

ALL THE TEASING IN THE FENCING SCENE, I LOVE ABC SO MUCH

LOOK AT THIS TRIO FUTURE OF SISTERS-IN-LAW

dude.

HE’S COURTING CRESSIDA???????????????????

i’m on the floor

?????? is anthony writing poetry now?????? am i having a stroke??????

HE JUST WROTE DOWN WHAT BENEDICT SAID OH MY GOD

what the fuck is going on oh my god

oh so we’re literally just ignoring season 1 then??? fine by me tbh

imagine this scene without the music and the zooms jesus christ the second-hand embarrassment i feel for him right now

also, imagine the reaction of everyone who was there a few weeks later when they find out he married the sister

god they’re really having edwina be interested in him i am going to commit murder

YOU HAVE????? THE DUDE LITERALLY SHOWED UP TO A TALENT SHOW SAYING “UH, I’M LIKE. RESPONSIBLE AND STUFF”

you literally hated your husband but ok

anyway, where is anthony’s dream

Episode 3

oh no it’s crying time

oh my god, not only was anthony there in this version, it was just the two of them

ON VIOLET’S ARMS

I’M FUCKING SOBBING

wait but

the episode title

no one was wearing a bonnet

is the bee sting on kate happening here too???????? so not only will all of aubrey hall (pall mall, whatever replaces the cressida/penelope scene, the library, the bee) be a single episode, but this is also my hope of seeing the dream and the under the table scenes???????????

THEY’RE ALREADY AT AUBREY HALL???????????????

ok, the sharmas arrived early, there’s still hope for the dream scene, can’t imagine how the table scene can still happen tho, which sucks bc it was my fav scene besides the pall mall :/ can’t believe they expanded maria/siena’s role so much and then cut out her only actual scene in the books

WAIT AND NEWTON IS THERE TOO, AND I’D FORGOTTEN THE FALLING ON WATER SCENE THAT WAS ON THE TRAILER, IS THAT GONNA HAPPEN AT AUBREY HALL THEN??????

oh my god they’re gonna have prudence marry the cousin

guess nigel won’t get a spot in the featherington family tree then

SHE’S HERE HE’S HERE THEY’RE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABY AND HER BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

francesca liking babies.........

not show!eloise being terrible with kids lmao i can’t wait to see her with oliver and amanda

I MISSED DAPHNE SO MUCH

DAMN YOU REGÉ-JEAN PAGE FOR ALL THE SCENES YOU’RE DEPRIVING ME OF

bitch by the end of her stay she’ll be your fucking fiancée

oh i’m sure she is

are they just gonna be throwing these flashbacks at me with no warning like a surprise punch in the gut????

THEM

yeah, she could never be a bridgerton

ELOISE IS GONNA PLAY, I SUDDENLY DON’T CARE ABOUT SIMON ANYMORE

i’m happy to inform they kept anthony having no choice but the pink mallet, but took out the annoyingly ahistorical observations about it being a girl’s colour, a nice choice that pleases everyone

BENEDICT ALUNO DE ARTES DA FEDERAL É CANON

MATCHMAKING COLIN IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that’s literally just simone and jonny lmao

the emotional rollercoaster this episode is putting me through cannot be healthy

the way people have to say “the americas” in english bc the us has appropriated the continent’s name just fills me with spite

i mean, kind of

it’s certainly not for their personalities so

god i’m gonna barf

the whole point of the book was that edwina and anthony were never interested in one another, why do they keep pushing this

EDWINA ESPECIFICALLY WANTED A HUSBAND WHO SHARED HER PASSION FOR READING, LITERALLY WHAT IS THIS MESS

THIS IS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEIR DYNAMIC WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

WHAT IS THIS SHOW’S INSISTENCE TO PAIR ANTHONY UP WITH EVERY SINGLE WOMAN HE HAS ANY INTERACTION WHEN THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF HIS STORY IS THAT THE ONLY PERSON HE’S EVER REALLY HAD FEELINGS FOR WAS KATE

THANK YOU

THEY’RE GONNA FUCKING TAKE POSY AWAY FROM ME SOPHIE AREN’T THEY

OH MY GOD IS COLIN ON OPIUM

ARE THEY GETTING HIGH ON THE FUCKING NURSERY

OH MY GOD BENEDICT IS HAVING AN OVERDOSE

SHONDA RHIMES IS GONNA STRAIGHT UP MURDER A BRIDGERTON SIBLING RIGHT BEFORE THEIR STARRING SEASON

excuse me while i sob on the floor

they’re literally pretending season 1 never happened i-

GOOD NEWS: BENEDICT DID NOT OD

BAD NEWS: HE IS HIGH AT DINNER

daphne seems to be the only one who knows what’s up with kathony, thank the fucking stars for her

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

I ALMOST HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK

THE SHARMA SISTERS OWN MY HEART

AND FUCK ANTHONY BRIDGERTON, ALL MY HOMIES HATE ANTHONY BRIDGERTON

benedict is literally everyone i went to art school with

OOOOOOOO INTERESTING

she’s not wearing a bonnet........... dare i hope................

OH MY GOD THEY CHANGED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

I SHOULD BE UPSET BUT I’M NOT???????????? i mean, i’d be more upset if they’d gotten engaged at this point, honestly, and exactly because there’s been almost no romantic tension so far (no dream, no kiss in the office). and i understand that they probably changed it so it wasn’t too similar to season 1 (and one of my biggest complains about tvwlm was that the plot structure was way too similar to td&i, so i do get it)

but also now i’m scared shitless of what they’re gonna do instead, bc i’ve seen some theories on twitter about kate and edwina swapping places at the wedding and i swear i will personally murder someone if this happens

but also also........... this would be the perfect moment for anthony to have a spicy dream about kate.................... (it’s literally on the synopsis of the book ok?? it can’t not happen on the show, i won’t allow it!)

#spoilers #bridgerton spoilers #f: the bridgertons #s: bridgerton #mari liveblogs

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blonde-toddy · 3 years

Text

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 5

Daphne sneaking in like a thief in the night.

Violet you're just hungover. Raw eggs and garlic Though?

Engaged to a Duke > Engaged to a Prince. That's it. That's Violets only thought.

Daphne you full of shit.

Awe your mama thinks the Duke got in your guts.

Well Violet, if you would actually TALK to your daughters about sex and their bodies. That is truly a tragic flaw.

She is hyped about this wedding though.

Oh Queen...no triumph for your messy ass.

Poor Prince Cormac (I know it's Friedrich).

Oh this is a scandal babe!

Daphne is not here for your childish shit today Eloise.

I kind of really feel bad for the prince and I want him to find a good lady. He's so pure.

Hyacinth little nosey ass.

Really Simon? Late and Drunk? Tear that mf up Lady Danbury. Somebody needs to.

She's trying to be kind....

God the way he looks at her!!! The way his mouth just breaks open is like armor cracking. He loves her truly.....fuckboy just doesn't know how to show it.

Ooooh he pulled his hand away. That hurt.

Fuck you Anthony. Delacroix is intervening now. I love her grifter ass.

Light his ass up, Portia!

Oh Penelope is full of the shade now. Poor girl.

Oh she scheming with her mama. Girl you fucking sneak.

Poor Rose is so confused. I love her though. Wedding planning is HARD!

Oh here comes this bitch Cressida!

She's holding that shit in her pocket for a rainy day. She'll bust their heads about it one day. I'm sure.

The Queen is so about the drama and the prince is just so chill. That bitch up to something.

Simon not accepting a dowry. At least they don't have to pay you to marry her. How romantic.

Oh are y'all buddies again now? Is #teamfuckboy a thing again?

Well your request for an expedited wedding got DENIED in big red letters.

Daphne bout to split a wig.

Violet being oblivious as always and Danbury breaking it all down.

The queen is being petty over her nephew.........just like Danbury says. Give her what she wants. A fucking show.

Heyyyy Benny!

Oh shit you're at the real party now.

Hello Delacroix.

Well fucking A! Get y'all some.

Bisexual Benny? Methinks yes? And I love it.

Wait...... is this an orgy? Go off Benedict.

Drunk ass Simon.....crying because he "trapped" Daphne. Boy. I feel like you're complicating the fuck out of this.

Mondrich is such a real one. This world does not deserve Will Mondrich.

Marina is determined that she's gonna trap Colin with a baby that is not his. He's just so pure that it makes me hope she fails at this. All this fucking reproductive evasion is making me uneasy.

But Portia is along for the ride.

Oh fuck, here's the King.

Its crazy to see real sentiment and love in the queen.

Aw fuck that's so sad. To watch the mind come and go in a loved one.

Daphne your ass needs to quit taking nighttime strolls.

Oh here it is. Daphne thinks he's physically unable to have children and that it's a source of great pain for him. Poor girl.

At least Rose is trying to be comforting.

And to be fair, Daphne, you fucking idiots love each other.

From the mouth of babes.

Get yo shit together Simon.

Alice always spitting hot ones. She's a babe.

Plus she's always looking out for her man's.

Aww look at Simon looking at the kids.

Let yo daddy go!

"With these knees, yes, Your Majesty." Danbury is the goat.

Gawd Daphne you are sinking at pleading to the queen.

Simon out here telling y'alls secrets. This man is wild.

Holy fuck what a love confession. It would nicer if he could SAY IT TO HER! AND LOOK AT HER!

Well the queen is biting.

Looks like someone is getting hitched!

Oooooh that music.

Gawd Simon is fine in black velvet. Fuck me he's fine in everything.

Yes look at her while you take that glove off and put that ring on.

They have completely redefined intimacy. Fuck.

Reception time.

She just wants to talk to her man.

Go away Cressida, damn.

Aww Penelope is trying to get Colin out of Marinas crosshairs.

Marina is heavy plotting.

She's really trying to seduce him and he's too honorable.

She got her proposal though.

Queen, Daphne barely knows about masturbating. She doesn't know dick about a wedding night. Pun intended.

Eloise and the queen my gawd.

Benny said don't ask don't tell.

Anthony's ass was the most against this fucking union, and now everything is kosher. Simon didn't want a dowry and now they get to be buddies again. This mf is a complete tool.

Simon, go get your wife.

Nope, just Violet with some more vague bullshit.

You call that a sex talk.

Its natural like rain. Then puppies. Bassett puppies.

Poor Daphne.

Her mom won't tell her shit about sex and her husband won't look at or speak to her.

Bitch gonna be rubbing it out on her wedding night. Poor babe.

Aww now it's time leave your childhood home. Not bittersweet or anything.

Damn he really didn't even tell her they'd be staying at an inn in their wedding night. Simon! Start telling your wife THINGS!

She took that shit right on the chin.

This mf really got separate rooms. She's pissed!

Aw...pacing together but in their separate rooms.

And she goes to the door.....he's at the door, on the other side.

Really Simon?!? DINNER?!?!

Now we're getting somewhere.

Here he goes with the kid lies again.....not feeling that shit Simon.

But fuck.

Fuck me. This love confession. If it ain't this, I don't want it.

The way he growls when he burns. My ovaries are exploding.

Yes! You burn for each other now fucking kiss!

Aw. And you're married now so you don't have to stop.

Oh my gawd. Oh my gawd. Yes. Show her more!

I just want somebody to spin me around and kiss up the side of my neck. Fuck. This shit is hot.

The artistry of that man. Yes girl yes. The touch of the chest, arms and shoulders.

Oh we throwing dirty talk in here too!

Hell yeah she touched herself. Tf you thought.

Oh my God. His face when he takes her hand. That man is God's Gift.

Her face when he took them pants off......fuck. I'm over here wishing this was Starz and we'd get some full frontal. Idc idc idc. I am horny for the Duke in every way.

They definitely romanticized what it's like to lose your virginity. It's never like that.

That fucking stroke on him though.

Daphne you new to this, but telling him you masturbated to him is a quick way to make him uhhhh....reach his pinnacle. The way he sped up when she said that shit. I was like okay now, das pretty realistic.

Ahhh the pullout method. Works every time.

And poor Daphne doesn't even know wtf a pull out is.

Well either way.

The duke makes me want to be seduced. Not just fucked. SEDUCED!

Well its only a matter of time before truth bombs get dropped, so I'm just gonna enjoy the view until we get there.

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hedgefairy · 3 years

Text

Okay, I know, I know, it's already old news, everybody and their uncle in the costuming community has already talked it over, but anyhoo, I made notes when I crawled my way through effing Bridgerton and I will be damned if I don't vomit them onto this site. I have 32 pages of this shit, I'm not gonna throw that away.

I'm also typing this on my phone because I'm stuck on a trainride that's just doubled in length because this is the 2021 Northern German snow storm. What, there's snowflakes on the rails? We cannot possibly keep up our schedule, say goodbye to 90% of the connections.

Okay, on to Bridgerton, Episode 1

We're in Britain (oh, London, okay), allegedly 1813. I see people who are clearly meant to be asympatico, but is this size incusivity I spot there? Daring! Gasp! Me li...

Oh wait, no. The character is promptly shamed for her figure (which is mostly caused by the horrible cut of her dress. Every size can look great in Regency garb, but never mind, we need to make the "fat one" look bad!).

Also, no shifts under the stays. Why. There was obviously enough budget, don't tell me you couldn't afford a few strappy tops - it's not like the rest is historically accurate, so it would have sufficed to send some poor underpaid intern to H&M and get some. Nvm, that wouldn't be sexay.

Wait, is the garishly dressed (always a sign of a character of bad character in a costume drama) woman Delphine from Selfridge? Does she always have to play bitches? That's not nice, and just because she has a recognisable face, which by modern (read: americanised) standards is not favourable enough. Ugh. But I like the actress, so I'll let it slide (for now).

Lol, buttocks.

Not sure about the girls' dresses. Also, the Queen is a WOC, cool!

Oh no, one of the Featherington sisters faints! But that's okay because the Featheringtons are just comic relief and foil anyway.

I get weird incest vibes from the Bridgertons.

So the court is clearly 18th century and the show is set in the 1810s. I've by now seen several explanations for this decision, I still think it robs the Queen of reproductions of her actual historical gowns which were heavily inspired by the 18th century but so. Magnificently. Weird. It would have been so neat, and more of a "hey, I'm kinda out of touch with things" vibe, but hey, I'm not the one getting paid for making those taffeta gowns here (her hair is glorious, tho).

I'm very into the intro.

That Regency gossip girl is a real b, not unlike the Dowager Countess of Downton (unpopular opinion, I think she's pretty overrated, yes, I like Maggie Smith).

Again, no shifts.

Where do I know the "pragmatic" Bridgerton sister from? Ah, it's The Paradise. And Jonathan Strange. (Wait, she's my age. And she's supposed to be a teenager. Man, do I love a good Dawson casting. I like the actress, though, she has a face ™!).

Aaaah. We get it. She's the spirited one. She also doesn't care about dresses because she's not like other girls™. I really like her voice (but she still doesn't sound like a teenager).

The heck is up with Lady F's dress and that of her friend? Oh, yeah. Antagonist fashion.

Of course the Featheringtons are Horrid Hags™ aside from Penny who's nice, but the pudgy one (at least we don't get a case of "she's not conventionally attractive so she's bad").

Oooh, the cousin! Supposed to suck, but ofc she's a stunner, and only Penny (who's the nice one, remember!) is delighted to have her around. She's also a POC, which is nice but apparently that means she does not follow fashion, hair-wise. I would have loved to see some Regency hair on her, it would have been so pretty *cries in Greek updo*

Ugh, we're still in Ep. 1, typing this on my phone was a bad idea.

Lady Danbury and the Duke guy are delightful with each other (more POC! So neat!).

The girl the oldest Bridgerbro screws is apparently a singer, which isn't up to status for his doucheship, and she doesn't wear a shift.

The music at the ball sounds like something from the Top 40s, but I'm woefully ignorant of contemporary music charts so I can't tell what it is. I like it when they do that in historical-ish works, making well-known pop or rock stuff work for the ambience (ugh, that dance scene to Golden Years in Knight's Tale. My heart. In a good way.)

I dig the Ducktail hair of Penny's crush. Oh, wait, that's a Bridgerbro. I don't quite get why the hair trends of the time don't apply to the POC characters or extras, but seeing how most white characters also show a shameful disregard for the weirdnes and gloriosity (that's not a word) that is early 1800s hair (the 1830s take the cake, tho) despite those hairdos being basically designed for white people hair, I don't think I care much (well, I do, but about all of them). Overall the hair is horrid and not very 1810s. Let's just leave it at that.

Like a good old romance novel (I've since been told that Bridgerton is supposed to be a pastiche of such novels, but I really couldn't tell from the series, not at all, and I'm not inclined to read the books) we have

a pretty, kind, superpure daughter of the main family

the mean matriarch (could have been an aunt, too, but here she's the mum) of the rivalling or antagonist family

a spirited daughter of the main family (in most romance novels this would be our heroine but so far she refreshingly lacks a love interest and pretty daughter seems to get the most screen time)

a Horrid Suitor™

a Hot Suitor™ who doesn't want attention

a really good and doting good parent

Lol, misheard Greece for Grease with Ducktail Bridgerbro, whose name is Colin, apparently. This is funny because of his Danny Zuko memorial hair.

Overall a bit too much bling for my taste, and too few pearls. It looks like an episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen with a Regency theme.

Of course the romance is going to be the Pretty One aka. Daphne and the Duke and he's even bros with her eldest bro. Wait, are they exes? I can haz bi? No? Aww, shucks. Maybe in another episode (spoiler: no).

Okay, WHAT is it with Lady F's dresses and hair. Like, she reminds me of Mars Attacks. Which, as you might remember, was not set in the Regency period.

Lord B (Bridgerbro the Eldest) sucks, he's screwing Opera Girl without any intention of marrying her but he's bitchy about his sister being ogled by his Eton (or wherever) bestie?

Oh, I'm in Hamburg now. And my train back home got canceled, so back to Berlin it is because there's not a single option to get to Hanover tonight, at least that's what the lady from the train station is saying, "oh well, you'll have to go back and try again tomorrow", so that's awesome...

Honestly, if it weren't so late and I didn't have things to do at home I'd find this terribly exciting.

Back to Bridgerton!

Where were we? Ah.

I can't even read my own annotation. Something about George III. I think I was upset about how they totally ignored that it's called Regency because George IV acted as the regent king, and he doesn't even feature in the series, I guess because they wanted to play up the Queen? Not a fan, because thanks to Horrible Histories I'm quite fond of that guy.

Again, no shifts.

Oh, look, it's Horrid Suitor™, destined for leftovers.

The Featherington cousin gets all the attention but no fleshed-out character.

Penny Featherington's dog is named Lord Byron, which ❤️

I like the Duke! He's there, drinking in his club (even though they're a patriarchal remnant of the past I have a weird appreciation for stuffy Gentlemen's Clubs, I blame Bertie Wooster and the Drones), calling Lord B out for his general fuckery.

Oh no, Ducktail Colin is more into the Cousin than Penny, who obviously pines for him!

Thank you, Lord B, for enabling Horrid Suitor™. Nobody asked you to be such a fucktwit.

The Queen is, of course, a bit of a bitch, but patronage from cool Lady *scrolls up for name* Danbury ensues for Protagonist Girl™ Daphne.

"I wish they had found a better trend language", what the heck did I even mean by that? That's what you get for just scribbling down notes while watching and simultaneously sewing. 18th century pants, in case you wanted to know.

Cousin is angry, probably because Lady F behaves like Cinderella's evil stepmother, because Cousin is prettier than her daughters and gets, like, all the suitors because Lord B bitched away everyone who wanted to get into Daphne's dowry ifyouknowwhatImeanwinkwinknudgenudge, right across the street into Cousins parlour.

The Bridgertons are annoyingly perfect. Ugh.

Oh look, it's "banter" between Daphne and Dukey! It's so Pride & Prejudice! It's almost a tiny bit Shakespeare! I put banter in parentheses because wow, nope, I'm not getting any chemistry here.

Uh, Lady B calls out Lord B (aka. her son aka. Bridgerbro the Eldest) for his screwery with Opera Girl and his outpimpery of his sister to Horrid Suitor™, buuuurrrrrnnn. He promptly calls of his affair with Opera Girl.

No shifts!

Penny gets to dance with Ducktail Colin at the thing! Good for her, but it's a country dance with jumping and fun, because she's a) the pudgy character and b) a Featherington, so it can't be something romantic and pretty (I personally like country dances, but they aren't protagonist dances).

Oooh, Cousin had her period, oh no, oh snap, oh she didn't, because she's PREGNANT! Shit, that's problematic, and not because she's an unmarried woman in the 1810s, but because she gets close to no lines at all so far, and suddenly she's pregnant and telling Lady F that she sucks for being privileged, violence ensues, this is ugly. Man, I get what some critics mean by "the POC actors*actresses get all the problems" and that not exactly being great.

Horrid Suitor™ makes property claims about Daphne, eeewwwww, thanks to Lord B's general suckiness, ewww, r@pe attempt ensues, was that really necessary? It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the series and generally nope, yay, broken nose! (which was indeed totally necessary). Nice one, and probably the only scene so far (spoiler: overall) in which I actually like Daphne. Dukey thinks a mean left hook is attractive, and, generally speaking, he's not wrong.

Daphne and Dukey come up with a pseudo-shakespearean plot to pretend to be totally into each other so she can attract suitors by being not available and he gets not to have fangirls by being not available, and as someone who has read a few too many historical-ish bodice rippers I know exactly where this is going. I mean, come on.

I can't see enough of the following choreography to complain about it. Man, I miss historical dance classes.

And that concludes Ep. 1! Finally! Thank you for getting this far, sorry for all of it (especially typos, it's the bane of unwanted autocorrect), I guess?

Update on the train situation: I've been told by the ticket control person that I shouldn't get my hopes up until noon tomorrow.

To be continued,

because I didn't take these 32 pages of notes for nothing.

#Bridgerton #Hedgewatch #historical costuming #Well not really because wow these costumes #Thank you for travelling with Deutsche Bahn #2021 norther Germany snow storm #Trainwriting #Snarky commentary #I wish I was better at captions but it's late and I've been wearing a mask for four hours straight now and I'm hungry #Bridgerbore

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adriftallmylife · 3 years

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Your "It doesn't mean shit" prompt is actually like my headcanon, for me they spent time in London after their wedding but even with a Viscount and a Duchess as relatives they can't really stop the gossip, I mean realistically speaking the Bridgertons can't go against everyone because in a bad move it could go against them

I know it isn't going to be easy for them by any means. But I so badly want their love for each other to conquer the ton hate. Like it's filled with such ass holes but their love is stronger than any of it.

I now that's not realistic. And they'll end up being banished pretty much to My Cottage. But I think, at the very least, Lady Danbury will accept Sophie.

And yeah Daphne/Simon and Anthony/Kate hold a lot of sway over the ton but not enough to shield Sophie from all of the ton hate. I have a headcanon myself that whenever Sophie does come to social gatherings they all team up so that she's never without one of them. And Hyacinth is always ready and willing to throw biscuits at anyone who crosses Sophie and some how Francesca also gets roped into that. And Eloise would be the first one (next to ben of course) to go off on anyone who dares to even look at Sophie the wrong way.

I just love Sophie a lot and want every one to love her. But our girl is legit better than like all the bitches of the ton. But at the end of the day she's the one that blows Benny Boi's brains out in bed soooo....Haters gonna hate.

#misc: ask #misc: anon #otp: let me be your anchor

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pensbridgerton · 3 years

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16 & 19!

16. Most interesting supporting character (character that is not a Bridgerton or spouse?)

Lady Danbury!! I love her, give me books about her, give her her own show because she’s the bad bitch in red! and also Madame Delacroix, because that woman is hiding something and I want to know what it is!

19. Favorite book?

“Romancing Mr Bridgerton” is the first in my heart, but if I have to speak objectively it would be either “When He Was Wicked” or “It’s in His Kiss”

#thank you!#bridgerton #ask games #thesushimonster

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blonde-toddy · 3 years

Text

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 4

Oh they're at court.

Also she's not a commoner. She's the daughter of a Viscount.

Another Daphne brag moment, but homegirl really got the juice. She's bagging mfs over hand holding and dancing.

Violet dgaf. She's hungry now, damn it!

Oh he's buying jewelry already.

Ooooooh the way she imagines the Duke behind her. Honey yes. That scene was hot.

Too bad she came back to reality.

Hyacinth is my spirit animal.

Lady Whistledown ain't ready to write Simon off yet. She's waiting on the Dukes Hail Mary.

Shit. So am I.

I have never seen someone look so depressed in such an exquisite piece of jewelry. It's like the necklace chokes her. Testament to the acting and script for that though. It truly represents a trap.

Awww Simon is wearing that heavy bag out. I would say poor Simon, but he made this damn bed.

I love Alice and Will. They are the kind of wholesome love I need to keep my heart steady watching this damn show. She's his rider and I love it.

Alice roasting Simon over Daphne. Get. Yo. Girl. Mane.

I always cringe when a man tells a woman to smile.

Poor Marina. Portia is determined to find her the oldest mf. She's playing smart though.

Those damn dingbat sisters.

Maybe Penelope does care.

Well at least the least mean sister got a caller. They're awkward/cute.

Eloise girl, I love feathers in hair. Your one dimensional preaching is wearing me out again.

A boxing match date? I'd be down.

The prince legit seems like a nice guy. And Daphne is trying....but she's CLEARLY hung up on Simon.

Oh look Simon's losing focus on his friend because he's too focused on Daphne and the prince.

Ok mf! Take that shit off and roll them sleeves up. It turns me on too sis!

Oh look at the sweet family talk with the prince. Girl he'd give you any and everything you wanted.

But you and the Duke are just ATE TF UP about each other!

Mondrich for the win!!!!

Oh Benny. You've got a new friend. But what kind of friend? Give me more of this.

Well Anthony is smug and pleased as punch. Simons courtship of Daphne has ended. She has her perfect suitor. And Simon is leaving England to go rake and fuckboy about.

Though Simons hard slammed shot when the prince approached says he's anything but happy.

Violet always worries about the wrong shit.

Hyacinth always wants to know the good shit.

Be Hyacinth.

Oh fuck the prince is ready to propose. That shit escalated quickly.

SIMON!!!!!! Now would be a good time for that Hail Mary.

Good job Anthony. Way to realize that the women in your life have agency over THEMSELVES.

Violet always beating around the damn bush.....but she is still 100% #teamduke

Aw Daphne you're gonna break down snitching on yourself.

If it wasn't real with Simon you wouldn't be so ate up about it, and you would be rocking tf out of that necklace from the prince instead of crying.

There's a reason for the black in her outfit. For Daphne, who is normally all pastel blues, that black is her mourning. It's her 'attempting' to put to death her feelings for the Duke. And also I think mourning the loss if the bond they shared. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But this seems like a very deliberate show with it's details.

Danbury ripping Simon open before she sends him off. Big energy.

She knows everything you thick headed mf. Why won't you just listen?! You letting your rank ass daddy live rent free in your soul.

He's so jaded it hurts.

Ayyyye this Trowbridge party looks like the real deal.

Oh gawd. Marina and the old man.

Mr. Finch and the cheese frock. Jesus who wrote this. I love it

Cressida you have been Daphnes biggest hater all season and now you're mad that she's with the prince. He was never gonna marry yo basket headed ass anyway.

Oooooh shit Simon sees the 'intimate painting' and has 2nd thoughts.

Go. Get. Yo. Girl.......Bitch.

Ooooh Benny's at the new homies spot and it's lit!

Naked models, easels, mingling between the classes. Yes indeed.

2nd sons having fun. Hell yes.

Damn Even Sienna at the ball...as a performer of course.

And Anthony looking tongue tied.

Violet....you need to chill. There take another sip.

Portia trying to shade Lady Trowbridges style is comical. Both of y'all bitches gaudy as hell.

Oh shit Phillipa lost her man.

Wtf is wrong with Lord Featherington?

And wtf are you doing Eloise?

Ayyye she just let her have it. You think servants have the time to be Lady Whistledown? I'm dead.

"Get out."

Ok Penelope with your saucy ass.

Well fuck! You just pushed him right to Marina. You played yourself boo.

Oooh the prince is about to shoot the big shot and Daphne keeps running away.

She done spotted Simon. Its over.

Fuck off Cressida.

Rip that mf necklace off girl.

Simon followed her ass outside.

"Miss Bridgerton." Motherfucker, call her Daphne.

"I came to say goodbye." Man. Go to hell.

Daphne serving those barbs. You not ready to keep playing with her.

Damn, Simon. If you're not gonna give her what she wants, get out the way.

Tell his ass sis.....even if you don't believe it yourself.

Really Simon? You stand there quiet as a mf church mouse whiles she's pleading with you to say something.....then you take off after her once she walks away from your shit

I swear.....men.....yall mfs really do shit like this. Speak up! Or...LET. ME. GO.

She's really cracking on his ass and I'm here for it....but wtf us up with his "I forbid you." Who tf are you to me? I'm glad she ain't playing with his ass.

Ooooh he called her Daphne and grabbed her.

Oh honey this is what fulfillment feels like, isn't it?

He's definitely fulFILLing her all the way up!

Oh shit Anthony caught them.

At least he finally landed some decent blows on Simon.

This RAKE ass mf still won't marry her.

Oh Simon.....for once.....Anthony is in the right and you the wrong. You are really about to die over your fucking daddy issues. Boy bye. Again.

Poor Daphne.

Wait, how did Cressida know she was in the garden?

That can't be good.

At least Benny is having a good time.

Dearest Portia, when you go looking for shit, it usually falls in your lap.

Marina keeps carrying on about Colin and Penelope is crushed.....or scheming....or both.

Aww Penelope let her hurt feelings cause a fight with her bestie. Her jealousy is seething.

Daphne still out here having to educate Anthony....though I get the need for the duel. And he still thinks he's running something.

Ooooh this is why they brought up 2nd sons.....Anthony is prepping Benny to take over. Well Benny, at least you had one good night out.

Colin caring for drunk Violet is parenting goals one day.

Oh great, now yall wanna bring Colin into the shit.

Simon raiding Wills spot for booze was so uneccesarily loud.

So Berbrooke alludes to her dishonor and Simon caves his fucking head in. Simon legit dishonors her and he's just like ,"Kay, guess I'll go get shot now." Someone get this man some therapy.

Oh great Anthony is back at Siennas door with more of his bullshit. Girl. Close that door.

No, not after you've let him in and climbed his torso. I guess y'all fuckin again.

He lost all the money and now he's fucked up.

Her face while he cried, is literally the face of every woman sick of a mediocre man's shit.

Oooh now they're all riding off into battle like the fucking idiots they are.

Colin is so pure.

I knew that Cressida shit would come back.

Well at least Anthony was willing to care for Sienna in his death....but damn mf, treat me right while WE'RE here.

Oh the dramatics of drawing a gun.

Nobody is here for Simon's weak ass apologies and I'm okay with that.

Hurry hurry Daphne.

Daphne down....but she's alright.

Call them idiots just like they are.

Simon still being a hoe about this shit. You really about let her be ostracized because you're a fuck boy.

Ultimate fuck boy line...I can't be with you because I love you too much. Fucking hell.

They do obviously love each other though.

Hold up.......you CAN NEVER, or WILL NEVER give her children. Don't play this like you have a reproductive issue.

So your reason for not marrying her is that you "can never" give her children and you know that's what her heart desires.

You playing with fire, Simon.

I wonder how much shit I let slide with his character just because he's portrayed so well by the phenomenal Regé-Jean Page.

No, I do love Simon's damaged ass. He just makes me so mad.

So the duel resumes......or not.

Daphne said, "Fuck them kids, give me my husband." Or something like that.

Well. This us an uncomfortable arrangement even though both of these idiots are in love.

Simon's evasion will most certainly come back to bite him in the ass.

But I'll be here with my popcorn and tissue, rooting for these cool kids to make it!

#bridgerton #bridgerton reaction #bridgerton season 1 #simon x daphne #daphne x simon #lady danbury #the duke of hastings #daphne bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #colin bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #penelope featherington #marina thompson #portia featherington #will mondrich #violet bridgerton #hyacinth bridgerton

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blonde-toddy · 3 years

Text

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 2

Childbirth scenes are always fun right?

I'm guessing this is the Dukes mother.

Oh he's one of those 'give me a son' types.

Yep they the Dukes parents.

Lady Danbury laying down the law wherever she goes....y'all gonna let her see her friend!

His mother died in childbirth.....fucking hell.

At least he got a son, I guess.

Simon ......... Bassett

Sad, pensive Simon....still hot.

The queen needs all the tea!

Who's that your Grace? Tis not Daphne. You better go promenade mf!

Violet and Danbury still plotting.....

"Only five minutes alone with you in a drawing room...." Jesus! Honey she felt that....and he knew he flexed a lil too hard on that one. But fuck me, it was hot!

Yes Eloise, you're a Jo March. We fucking get it. Womaning is hard and societal expectations are bullshit. They really laid it on thick with her and I hope she becomes a bit more multidimensional.

Hold up. These poor girls don't even know where babies come from. Oh the chastity of it all.

Not that Penelope out here telling Marinas business low key.

Damn....her non-hoe brothers are lightweight roasting her. Ya sis is a baddie! Get with it.

They really don't tell these women shit about sex. Lil brother out here trying to spill the tea though. VIOLET! TALK! TO! YOUR! DAUGHTERS!

Awe shit. Daphne got fans again.......oh and here comes creepy fucking Berbrooke.

Damn Anthony you really calling her disrespectful while you out here trying to sell her like cattle to Berbrooke. Fuck. Off.

Oh it's definitely immaturity. I can't keep on with Anthony's ass. Something has got to shake.

Oh, Violet....you want it to be the Duke.

Shirtless Duke! Yes, please.

"A great deal goes on in a mind as quick as mine." Gawd help me. Kick his ass Simon! Protect your situationship partner!

Poor baby Simon can't speak so well......oh and his daddy is EVIL evil.

Penelope trying to be friendly with the expectant. She needs answers. But DAMN! Even Marina won't explain sex. Somebody help these women. Love does not impregnate. I fucking can't.

The queen of shade appears bored by a lack of new tea.

Get your eggs Daphne!

Violet gets to have tea with the queen....so that means Daphne wears diamonds to tonight's ball. Okay.

Ok Queen Danbury. Get the Duke in line.

Aww Lady Danbury and little Simon! She's here to give that boy the love he deserves. Look at this Queen Fairy GODMOTHER! I just adore her. She really is the queen to me.

Danbury blocking Anthony's attempts at cockblocking is big energy. I want Ratafia now. Let me go Google what in the hell that is and where to find it.

I feel like that lil spin Simon did was a bit of improv, but I liked it.....and you can't tell me they weren't having a real life ball dancing together in that scene. That was legit laughter between friends. I'm here for it. They brought the energy in that dance.

Here goes Anthony's ass trying to fuck it up again. This time he wants middle brothers help. Middle brother just wants to chill, not dance with his sister, bro. I like middle brother. Yes I know his name is Benedict.

Simon shading Berbrooke is gold. Calling him the fuck out was even better.

Oh Anthony....took you long enough.

Daphne is not here to have her honor protected by ANY MAN. I love this bitch. Simon was just trying to help though.

Danbury planting her lil seeds. This is her world. We just wish we lived in it.

Simons going to take the air....ah walk home. Because nothing bad ever happens on a dark walk home.

This mf Berbrooke just will not stop. He gets more disgusting with each interaction, I swear. But what you're not gonna do, is keep disrespecting Daphne. The Duke out here growling at this mf.

Ooooh I love a good head butt!

I stan a fake couple who beat up the same perv.

Oh now this EVIL mf.

You trying to prove yourself. Poor baby.

Old dogs. New tricks. We all know the saying. That mf man is awful. I see some daddy issues coming to the story. That's probably why he stopped himself from completely pulverizing Berbrooke. He doesn't want to be cruel like his father.

Sad reflective Simon.....hiding his pain literally and figuratively.

Damn, Whistledown, Daphne does not want Berbrooke. Everybody knows that. Stop trying to make it a thing.

"It does not matter what the Duke thinks, Rose." Sure, Jan.

I'm sick of this basket weave haired bitch.

Oh Portia.

Penelope and Eloise still knowing nothing about sex is depressing.

Fuck off Anthony. Daphne is done with your fuckery...and she's calling you tf out. I'll say it again, Daphne is my bitch.

Heyyyyy Simon!

Oooof Daphne sees that bruised up hand. You really gonna lie and say boxing. Boy bye.

Oooooh the cuff-buttoning and banter with instense eye contact. KEEP FEEDING ME!

Oh here comes this mf Berbrooke. Duke, you're busted. Simon ready to throw hands again. This hoe ass mf is really trying to force a wedding.

Daphne really just gonna give up. Aw naw.

Violet, God bless you, but your vague ass speech does not help.

Ooooh smoking Eloise. I love a good vice.....oh and sibling bonding. This is nice.

I think Simon likes getting knocked around. There's something very masochistic about the way he seems to enjoy it. He's sad about Daphne having to marry Berbrooke and can't express that in the way he should or would like to....More on this later, I'm sure.

Violet and the queen.....and the queen likes nose play. Okay then.

Ohhhh the queen is basically telling Violet that Daphne better get things rolling with the Duke for the notoriety and popularity it would provide her family.

So why tf are you inviting Berbrookes raggedy ass mama over for tea? This bitch. You can definitely see why her son is so fucked up.

Kippers on Rye. No ma'am.

Ahhhh Violet was fishing for a scandal to stop the Berbrooke marriage. Makes sense.

Well, mission accomplished. No thanks to Anthony.

Violet stays at his neck though.

I really don't like Marina being all confined.

Sisterly bonding maybe? Daphne dropping knowledge and optimism on Eloise.

Well shit, deflate that balloon.

*In My Blood (Instrumental) plays*

Aaaand she's back on the arm of the Duke.

Their chemistry is mind blowing. Like they could melt my screen just looking at each other.

"Call me by my name" because 'Call me by your Name' could never.

Gawd the way he says her name. That's it. I want Daphne to be my name now.

The intimacy of that bruised hand on her bare shoulder - ICONIC.

Lady Danbury knows all and jealous Simon has entered the room.

Not his evil ass daddy again.

Oh fuck Simon. Why would you make a promise like that?! Thats OBVIOUSLY coming back around on you. Who tf are you really hurting in avowing never to marry or have children?!

But the "Speak, you fucking monster," was everything. Full circle.

#bridgerton #bridgerton reaction #bridgerton season 1 #simon bassett #daphne bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #lady danbury #benedict bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #eloise bridgerton #simon x daphne #daphne x simon

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