#LOL like 2 years later right

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

#delete later #deleting soon bc eyes on me #for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL #sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out #im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever #but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened #i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow! #all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc #idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project. #as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it #and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either. #im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting #and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better #its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3 #this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love #cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble #and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it) #i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim

[joyish-little-boy]

Hahaha i wonder what Luffy was thinking about when he heard about the situation on WCI...

If I had a nickel for everytime one of Luffy's blond S-named loved ones with a royal/noble background got kidnapped by their shitty father via holding hostages, for the purposes of being married off to gain political prestige/power fathers I'd have two nickels-

#i wanna make a post about how Sanji's backstory ties in to like every one of the strawhats backstories but i don't want to use words lol #i like the idea of luffy looking at Sanji early on and going “huh. he's just like Sabo” because of S name + blond #and then 2 years later he's like i was right he really is just like sabo #vinsmoke sanji #monkey d. luffy #sabo

[doctorwhoisadhd]

so wait, since i was just reminded of the recorder thing donna talked about in the giggle, i now have a question for uk ppl: do yall learn the recorder in school? like in a music class? and like how much do yall have music class over there?

#this is a very interesting topic for me as a music educator from the us #ik a guy from ireland and he said there was no music class in schools for him and like not the same country BUT same island #(as northern ireland. not the others in the uk but still) #and its so wild and fascinating music education is a fascinating field and the way we do it in the us seems to be largely vvv unique to us #for clarification on how things are different so ppl have a better idea on how to answer my question lol: #in the us music class is standard in elementary schools and most places have general music until abt 5th/6th grade (year 6/7) #(general music = basics- music games learn recorder SOME notation-reading; often classroom instruments eg boomwhackers claves maracas #orff instruments if you're lucky/from a school district that isnt poor. also some world music) #its less standardized after that and not every school will have music after middle school but concert bands and choirs are both huge here #choirs start right on the heels of general music classes (sometimes start earlier + students elect to be in choir instead of general music) #bands USUALLY start in 4th grade (year 5) but sometimes can be later 5th/6th (year 6/7) or even 7th (year 8) (WAY less common) #depends on the state generally 4th is most common i think (choirs start at around the same time i think so probs 4th but choir isnt my area #orchestras are weird bc theyre a lot less common but can commonly start younger bc of one of the big approaches to music ed (suzuki method) #so like maybe 3rd grade (year 4) maybe 4th w/ band (year 5) but i have a friend who teaches at a private school #& said they have 1st/2nd graders (year 2/3)!! orchestra is also not my area though #also marching bands: vv common! usually just in hs (starting 9th grade / year 10) bc it supports the football team at games #but starting in 8th grade (year 9) is also common (sometimes even 7th / year 8) #theres two different styles: collegiate/show band and competition. former is very rah rah pop music etc; competition is more abstract #show bands are clearly designed to entertain whereas competition is designed to be more impressive and tell a story #so more impact moments abstract shapes/lines on the field and has movements - opener ballad closer (fast-slow-fast)

[perexcri]

happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3

now, because i'm curious:

#to hell and back again #i genuinely can't believe it's a year but i guess that's how time works huh :') #anyway umm gonna leave some retrospective thoughts in the tags: #1. i hold this fic near to my heart but also have a very complicated relationship with it now- #mostly bc i feel like my writing has improved so much and it's hard for me to reread parts of this lol #2. i honestly feel like it's a product of its time? like i think if i was publishing it now people wouldn't like it nearly as much #(especially with the opening line wHICH HAS A POINT AND COMES FULL CIRCLE AT THE END OK JUST TRUST ME) #3. on a sadder note this also means it's been a year since we had to put my family's eldest dog down #i remember i was gonna post this first chapter later when i had finished another fic up #but then our dog just like. straight up started dying on my mom's bedroom floor #and my mom was too distressed/upset to take her to the vet so i had to put her in my car and take her on my own #and then had to go to work right after that #so yeah i was upset and was like 'well dammit im gonna post this then bc it's silly and makes me laugh and i am sad' #so yeah!! some thoughts and behind the scenes info for anyone who's bothered to read this many tags #idk these things just feel like Tags thoughts not Post thoughts #anyway thanks for all the love this one has gotten!! i'm glad people are still enjoying it though *will voice* it's been a year mike #byler

[opens-up-4-nobody]

House MD, my beloved 🖤

#way back in lile 2014. i found out my mom had cancer in the middle of watching house md #idk but thats really funny to me. i think bc my dad made me pase the episode. we had the conversation. and then i was like ok well #id like to go back to watching thr cancer show now if were done sitting in awkward silence now. which is like a goblin thing to do #but like it wasnt a huge shock bc we knew she had a tumor and all that and i didnt understand how to relate to ppl as well back then #but yea did not stop me watching house for even 2 seconds. and almost 10 years later my mom is still getting cancer treatment #booo. fuck that 👎👎👎 #idk the amount of anxiety in my body today has been unhinged and i thought. what will make me feel better? #the medical malpractice show. and i was right lol #its fun to watch him solve the problems and i love wilson #unrelated

[deanwinchesterpregnant]

I could fix s9 Dean

#you could argue his motivations for the Ezekiel debacle were selfish but I truly think he hates himself too much for that #yes he’s afraid of being alone but my god it’s been beaten into his head since he was a child to never let any harm befall Sammy #and he’s failed so miserably at that lol #and the one time! the ONE TIME that Dean had accepted sam was going to sacrifice himself #he spent upwards of 1000 years trapped with lucifer getting (canonically!) raped! #I’m not saying Dean did THE RIGHT THING especially with the guy who’s bodily autonomy has been violated so many times via possession #I’m just saying IT MAKES SENSE WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID #also since like season 1? 2? dean’s whole thing has been ‘it scares me what I’m willing to do for family’ well! #and he knows he was wrong he is like aware that he was in the wrong #anyway sam said he wouldn’t do the same for Dean and I’m going to be honest. I DON’T BELIEVE HIM #ALSO this was RIGHT after they decided to choose each other instead of boarding up hell #so what was Dean supposed to do LET SAM DIE? FOR NOTHING? it all would’ve been for naught!!!!! #and sam coming back later with ‘you talked me into that’ idk king. that was a 2 way street #SORRY IM SORRY I JUST UNDERSTAND WHY HE DID IT IS ALL #please don’t get mad at me samgirls ilu

[climbdraws]

so. avatar 2. as great as it was that sigourney weaver was in this movie again I felt like she would have been better suited for flashbacks showing the initial human /na'vi relationship as she's the one who taught them English instead of making her into a 14 year old Jesus

#like kirri is cool? I guess but i felt like they either edited wayy 2 many of her scenes #so stuff just didnt hit right? idk i just could not gaf about her #flashbacks with grace and child Neytiri idk #im sure kiri has a plot point later but augh i hate character tropes like that #i didnt like spider much but i'll take his storyline over kiris any day lol #for a film that took 13 years to come out u would think they would spend a lil more time on the script #ok im done rambling bye

[disengaged]

alright anorexia is boring, let’s get yolked

#yeah so i gained 20lbs and started hitting the gym pretty hard two months ago #struggling with weight restoration/relapse urges worse than ever BUT i’m also feeling good about my progress and enjoying myself immensely #honestly didn’t realize how bad i missed lifting #and now that i have time off work i can actually focus on getting my nutrition right (i.e. actually consuming enough protein for once) #pegasus speaks #my face #my ancient ipod camera is shit quality but my abs are starting to show for the first time in like … 1.5 years lol #and im pleased with my anterior/lateral delts! although my pecs need some serious work. wtf #i train chest 2-3x/week and i can still see bones fml #ed ment tw #weight tw #ask to tag #i feel like i’m kind of relearning all my limits. like in terms of physical/mental energy and stuff. idk #doing a lot of research and figuring it out as i go. trying to avoid falling into systemic fatigue etc #as much as i love the gym i do have to compensate in other areas of my life #if i want to push myself this hard then that’s my choice. but like. i need to give up on doing other things. give and take. spoon theory #etc etc etc

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc. photos from the past year or so ~

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1. napping bapy boye sneeping on his own foot as if it were a pillow #2. The little primrose that I have seems to bloom sporadically all year around as long as I bring it inside and don't let it freeze #in the winter. This was a flower that came up randomly like mid november lol #3. Rainbow where you can see a little bit of a second rainbow near the bottom of it :0 #4. CHILDREN.... love to see them..... #5. Halloween Candy ranking tierlist. not important enough to post on it's own. so throwing it in with one of these I guess lol #I am also not really a candy person at all and prefer bready stuff like cakes rather than chocolate bars (if I even have to have sweets #at ALL which usually I prefer savory food). I suspect the apple is controversial but.. I do love apples .... huzzah #actually am having applle and peanut butter snack right now as I'm writing this lol #6. Various bowls/cups/etc. that I got from a store at COMPLETELY different times like.. years apart from each other #yet at some point realized that they all mostly match in paint color and seem to be part of the same pattern #But I totally didnt make that connection until a few years ago when I was putting up dishes. I just bought them all invidually because it's #like 'oh cool! a cat' *1 year later* 'oh cool! a cat!' etc. lol.. I guess it must be a popular design if it's been around being sold that #long. #7. carne asada burrito and matcha bubble tea... oughhgh.... again one of my very rare meals where I actually go and get something.. #probably my favorite meal currently. Something about the Chronic Anemia makes me crave beef burritos madly despite only having one #maybe twice a year or so ghjbhj.. plus the beans.... onions.... many of my Diet Forbidden foods... Also of course the little aishas #are there.... somehow they shall split the meal together even though it's like 10x bigger than their bodies.. they are also hungry #and vastly anemic... huzzah to them... #8. I've had this shirt for a long time but it fits very weird so I can never find a way to use it in outfits?? But I recently had #an appointment where a doctor needed to be able to look at my back and it's one of the only actual Shirts that I have (mostly i just own #long robes or tunics or jumper dress type of things that would be hard to lift up or etc. like... I dont even own a single normal 't-shirt' #or anyting aside from one giant tshirt that I sleep in in the summer lol.) So I wore this there.. I forget how much I love the pictures on #it.. how pleasant... little hummingbird... AND I think one of the flowers is supposed to be columbine ... ! #photo diary

[syncrovoid-presents]

I am. Not dead. BUT will be gone for a like a day or few because the stuff at work did not! want! to! work!

Which I'd another way of saying that I finally was able to get free after working 34 consecutive hours in a row. The day prior I got 1 hour of sleep and that is all after 5 days of 10 or 11 hour work days.

I am so sleepy. I am taking tomorrow off and probably going to sleep right through it. Anywho cheers everyone!! I am going to go to the shadow realm now @:P

#syncrovoid.txt #delete later #maybe?? #the one coworjer that has been helping as best he can is now calling me a cyborg haha! it is funny #but strange because before i was officially hired the supervisor (lead programmer) said i was #i was like a robot and if i had been perfect there'd be no difference #<- this was his notes when i finished my (payless) practicum there that lead to me being hired before graduating #ironically the new guy (hes been around half a year lol) was one of the only other people that graduated from my course #none of us ever met but it is cool!! and he did a lot to help out over this week of nonstop work #<- okay i KNOW someone will say “hey. you know you could have stopped right?” #but consider. i have very bad body awareness so i dont notice much impact from sleep deprivation and also i would feel so guilty @:( #and also consider!! i have either earned a hefty paycheck of the redt of the week off so like. capitalism yay????? #<- i do not support capitalism #ALSO sleep deprivation is SOOO silly because i get hyper! i feel like i get more and more energy and my brain doesnt stop thinking! #i have had a grand total of 3 hours of sleep in the past uhhh 4 days?? #it is so silly!! but probably not good for me #but i CAN confirm to you that when websites say it takes 3 days of no sleep to start hallucinating they are exaggerating #it takes at least 5 or a week with only 1 or 2 hours sleep #even then it is so minor. #weirdest sleep deprivation hallucinations ive had was where every second time i blinked the world was overlayed with a different one #it has happened twice and it is literally and without exageration the STRANGEST feeling in the world. in the universe even #it is like you are flickering btween two realms that occupy the same physical space but from two different theoretical spaces #if that makes sense?? #the first time it happened it was at a huge school sleep over and every few moments the gym full of sleeping bags and other peeps #would transform into all the chill monsters just living their life. like monsters in terms of not looking human nor like any earthly creatur #but not mentally monsters. it was like a towns square sort of thing? so they were rushing about and coming in and out the doors #second time it happened i was like 14 and in the back of an overstuffed car with a friend and their mom and we were in the middle of nowhere #forest for hours and hours longer still. slept on the side of the road lol. but it was like very so often huge huge giants would step over #the trees. all you could see was the somewhat woody-scaly texture of these massive massive poles or legs or whatever #slowly moving over the forest and walking around. looking up into the sky they just faded away too tall to see

[blujayonthewing]

I've had Melliwyk for SIX YEARS

#happy nameday mel #I had already built and designed her-- I almost always save names for last cause I'm bad at them lmao #quinzemela is a good name ngl it just wasn't the right vibe for her #I did also- years later- take tukklewin off this list for her dad cause I liked that one too 😌 #anyway. SIX YEARS. WHEW #and to think-- at the time I wasn't taking her very seriously because 1) her original concept was built around a joke #and 2) I honestly didn't expect to play her very much because I had so many other campaigns (lol. lmao) #these things are related! the joke was that she'd have magical narcolepsy that sometimes couldn't be shaken right away #so that if I was ever unable to make a session my character could be asleep in somebody's backpack #a totally joking thing I said while lamenting about how overbooked I was for dnd but then IMMEDIATELY went 'oh no. I actually love that' #anyway now it's been six years that's literally never happened I've put the most actual hours into playing mel and I love her SO MUCH #about me #my OCs #melliwyk #posts from facebook

[sad--tree]

well shit. just checked out the lineup 4 bluesfest this year and i may have 2 actually brave the crowds 4 once. there might just be enough ppl id wanna see to make it worth it, altho tbh matthew good is almost enough for that on his own lol coz like. matthew good!!! that's the music of my freakin childhood man!! (*the most canadian sentiment ever)

#but also: ben howard; orville peck; charley crockett; mother mother #and of course. motley fucking crue. for some reason. i mean why not right? lol #ftr no i dont know why its called bluesfest when theres so much non-blues. they DO have blues its just. theres a lotta other stuff. #idk. perpetual mystery here in the nations capital. #i REALLYYYY wanna see matt good tho i was supposed to in 2020 and he CANCELLED instead of rescheduling like every1 else 😭 #still might go to mtl in april to see him tho. festival sets are just Not the Same lbr #NOW i just gotta see if any of the artists i wanna see are on the same days..... pls..... so much more cost effective.... #my whole life ive lived here and ive never been 2 bluesfest. maybe thisll be the year that changes #hmmm. $280 for a 'pick any 3 days' ticket is Not Bad At All.... definitely gonna b Pondering this further.... #tho $410 for a full pass is also not terrible. relatively speaking bc tgats is still Not A Small Amount of Money #not sure the full lineup is worth that 2 me tho #HMMM #anyways hey bluesfest. why the FUCK is your website so bad my god the scrolling lag good fucking lord. what the fuck are u DOING back there #also also. on the topic of music festivals. i KNOW its not coming back but.... heavy mtl return W H E N 🥺😭🙏🔥 #i just. wanna go 2 a metal music fest. w/o breaking the bank and/or subjecting myself to festival camping. which i refuse 2 try by myself. #not that we really have that sorta festival here at all but it seems the Really Big european ones are like that and uhhh. #it just seems like A Lot to do that solo. for a first time doing smth. #ANYWAYS !! still contemplating whether i want 2 spend altogether Too Much Fucking Money to see metallica and iron maiden later in the year #like on the 1 hand its A Lot Of Money plus id have to travel (edmonton 4 metallica; mtl or TO 4 maiden) #on the other hand. those guys arent gettin any younger. and the FOMO is unfortunately real af when u never know if theyre gonna retire #or like. DIE. (ok ok or like. idk break a hip or smth lol) ( they arent THAT that old just. u kno. fear.)

[advestager]

jotaro?

counteroffer:

yes/no?

#joji.txt #ironically i don't think he'd /like/ the song. but Songs Blorbo Would Like is a different genre of playlist lol #anyway fun fact this song i found while doing research for a novel where one of the side chars needed to be 1) in a rock band #2) a MASSIVE jackass 3) past but not over some very significant anger issues #it didn't end up in his playlist but it did remind me of jotaro years later haha #also can you BELIEVE i can't just write why slash en and assume it won't get the whole post blocked bc of self insert fanfic #now i have to write yes slash no like a CHUM #mathewdevassy #i sure hope i wrote your new url right i'm on mobile so it's hard gkzkkfkf

[crehador]

hell yeahhhhh

#this is gonna be a big one #possibly my biggest package so far this year? #official guide book+ with the broken cd lol #some psycho-pass stuff #and like... a few hundred of the new weiss schwarz blau cards lmao #i don't know if i did my math right i bought enough sleeves/holders for all of them #it's 500 cards in this shipmetn and i think... 200 in the booster packs that are coming later? #so like approx 75 cards #and i got 10 packs of the sleeves (75 per pack) #2 deck holders (holds approx 70 cards each) and 2 boxes (apparently holds up to 400 cards each??) #i guess my concern is like idk what all is coming out of the booster packs #so since i got mostly bb/mtc sleeves some random other cards might have to go in there #well in any case unboxing should be fun lol #oh i need to find some gloves i don't even want to be touching these with my bare hands

[sanchoyo]

guess who got a JOB 👈👈😎

#idk how itll actually be but it sounds good in theory!!! #they can do my hours + benefits!!! on part time!!! (GOOD benefits too!!!) PLS LET IT WORK OUT....PRAYER CIRCLE #i dont start until MAYBE next week (or later depending on the speed of the background check/drug test stuff) BUT....it SOUNDS good to me #ill be workin Alone for the most part...just Vibin in my Own Area...free food/drinks too!! #i rly would like for it to work . bc this was GREAT TIMING i lose my dads insurance v v soon like 1 month T_T was starting to sweat over it #AND ITS NOT FAST FOOD OR RETAIL (HUGE W IF I HAD TO GO BACK I WOULD START BAWLING) #+ the boss seemed v nice and chill (and had sick tats) (I DONT HAVE TO DYE MY HAIR A NORMIE COLOR EITHER!!! DOUBLE W) #sanchoyorambles #very very happy. and so nervous i will probably puke #there were no interview questions btw it was just us cracking jokes + paperwork i got hired on the spot B) #i mean /i/ had questions but like none of the usual bs like #'where do u see urself in 5 years. why is this ur ideal job' type shit which was GREAT bc i hate those qs SO MUCH #we all know im here for money. and benefits. we do not need 2 play these games #but actually dishwasher or janitor kinda IS my ideal job?? so??? lol actually #i LIKE chill jobs where im cleaning things im GOOD at it when i had a higher pressure job where my work actually like #could influence HOW WELL AMBULANCES WORKED. IF I MISREAD A BLUEPRINT OR DIDNT DO MINOR THINGS RIGHT. THATWAS SCARY AND TOO MUCH PRESSURE #i mean my real dream job is artist/writer/otherwise creative in nature but. yknow! not realistic rn so....we r doing what we gotta 😤 #i...will try very hard this time #i NEED that debt to be paid off fr

[beatcroc]

Oh yeah I watched the digital circus thing. It was alright

#decent enough and has potential but solidly filed under 'not my thing' #pretty much what i expected in that se se dhdhdb #found a couple of interesting points to poke at for Theory Stuff and foreshadowing or w/e #but ultimately i think it laid waaaaaay too many of its cards on the table from the get-go #like i dont doubt that there will still be more to it but they kind of tossed multiple big-plot-relevant feeling things together #right at the start and they feel like they're kinda counterproductive to have this early #or like where i would expect it to go off the rails it feels like theres a few weird elements that would hold it in place #not that that's necessarily bad. just again the place where its at rn isn't my thing lol #BUT also there was one thing i was just like. oh my god why are you telling me how this works right now #you literally could have just vaguely implied it from any choice like 6 different angles and left it at that #or even just not brought it up at all and saved it for a later reveal. there was already plenty going on...... #there was already foreshadowing for it baked in so its a little bland to do that and then full reveal like. 2 min later #anyway i digress. if it gets its full season and ppl start talking about it again in some years I'll still pick back up on it :p #bweeeaaahh #there IS a place this could go that would make me very invested [recursion] but i don't think its actually gonna go there