#Mom said it was ok so here it is

[rotisseries]

caught up with pjo episode 4 with my mom tonight and when they got to st louis she was like "oh did they skip nashville?" and I was like "nashville???" and she's like "yeah don't they go visit the parthenon in nashville?" which I did NOTTT remember but it sounded familiar once she said it so this is really solidifying how much I need a reread

#I said “maybe that happens later?” #she said “yeah maybe but if they're visiting places as they travel west they'd have gotten to nashville first” #so. um. whooo knows #there's also the not insignificant chance that she is remembering something that happens in a later book #like oh wait isn't there a monument they go to in ttc and percy is like “annabeth would love it here :((” #NO THAT'S THE HOOVER DAM #ok. well. yeah who knows. #WAIT. OH GOD. DON'T THEY GO TO THE PARTHENON IN THE MOVIES #WHAT IF MY MOM IS REMEMBERING SHIT FROM THE FUCKING MOVIESSSSS😭😭😭😭😭 #pjo

[imagineagreatadventure]

soooo i am not handling getting my period and the news my mom has xx amount of months to live at the same time very well

#i am trying to but god really said fuck you this round #hating 2024 so far 👏👏 #personal #also my mom had a dream the night before her appr #of a blonde curly haired guy being my bf? #me: ok mom u have cancer in your head shhhh #and then literally the next day the resident med student assisting the doc #was a blonde curly haired man and she was like: weirdly he looked like the guy ib my dream #i am trying to end this on a funny note just like i did with my therapy session today #and i am sure its working as well here as it did there #that is to say not well at all #👍👍 hate it here

[arcaneyouth]

rapidly approaching my 21st birthday is hard and weird but not for any normal reasons thats for sure

#not a vent post im just rambling in the tags #theres 4 main factors at play here. #firstly theres Society n all that telling me 21 is a Special Biethday!!! you'll be old enough to legally do adult things!!! #secondly theres the fact that i love being alive and celebrating it this shit rules like fuck yes i get to keep living hell yes #thirdly theres the fact that i kinda dont actually care. like its chill. ive reached the point where a birthday is a cute lil tradition #i dont gotta go wild with it and dont feel the need to treat it differently than any other day #but also the 4th thing which is 21 is yet another age my doctors told me id never get to see so like this is A Big One #so this is actually hard as hell because fundamentally i dont care that much n dont have strong emotions BUT FUCK DUDE WHAT IF BIG CELEBRAT #constantly sitting here going hehe yayy its my birthday soon cant wait to hang out with my friends and then go back to normal life #while also going I NEED BIG PLANS I NEED HUGE PLANS I NEED A CELEBRATION OFF THE WALLS OH FUCK OH GOD #it doesnt stop being funny. i dont even know what kind of big thing id do anyways #mom said i couldnt go to moterey bay aquarium too much money and that was my only idea #ive been thinking about this for weeks and have come up with 0 other plans #'we gotta do a huge party' ok then come up with one then dumbass #oh noooo guess ill have a nice time at home just like any other day oh nooooo #guess my 21st birthday will be unspecial. darn. anyways

[wereh0gz]

Fursona mask wip :]

Pieces aren't glued yet, plus I still need a bunch more to cut out (the ears are very obviously missing, plus fangs, eyelashes, inner eye.... still a lotta work to be done)

Also still gotta figure out how I'm gonna color this thing...... I don't have paint so I'll have to make do with markers I think

#wip #probs not gonna post the finished thing on my art blog. gonna post it here on main instead #there's a lot of messy edges i'll have to figure out how to cover up.... #i don't have a exacto knife of box cutter or anything like that so i can't clean them up well #but scissors will have to do for now #if it looks really funky it's the camera's fault lmao. also the fact that the pieces aren't glued #it looks better irl i promise #posting to keep myself motivated #also i will work on the comic i said i was gonna draw. tomorrow #i was out for most of the day and then had to help mom bake when i got back #we made quesitos tho so i'm ok with losing that time to draw #i'm tired now good night

[babylon5]

im gonna be real with you,

#i found out i cant go to the concert ive been looking forward to since December #for a band that has meant everything to me since i was 13 #because the shuttle isnt accessible like it claimed to be and we have a 10 minute walk from its dropoff location #which i can do in a wheelchair but my mom cannot #and my able bodied cousin swore she'd take me she said absolutely she would take me!! and then she said oops nevermind Last Week. #my mom made new plans to take me and this was a FUCKTON of money lost because she bailed on us #and now my mother is crying because my cousin still hasnt paid back any of the money we lent her years ago #and now we've just lost more #and im on disability the only one here with an income btw lol what we spent was half my monthly paycheck!! #im tired of this world not being accessible to the disabled #im tired of people disappointing me on purpose #she didnt even bail to us directly she had her mother (my moms sister who have a deeply uncomfortable relationship) call my mom and inform- #her that her daughter was suddenly bailing because she doesnt like concerts ?!? after promising multiple times?? ok. #sorry this is an insane vent im just. IM TIRED. I am so tired. #it was supposed to be the first good and genuinely fun day for me in months.

[deicide-doll]

trigger warning. do not read if you dont want to read something triggering.

#my bf is a fucking rapist #i told him i didnt want to have sex again because it was getting late and i have work tomorrow #and he usually takes a long time to finish after round 1 so i didnt want to stay up an extra hour #and he started manipulating me and pleading and saying he loved me and i dont know why i capitulated but #the fact that i said ok after 10 no's? #and i was crying #i was crying while i sucked his dick and while he fucked me #and he told me to struggle more because he found it hot #he thinks rape is hot #and after he joked about being a good manipulator and being able to get me to disregard my boundaries #which is true #but like he knows im an abuse survivor and have trouble with boundaries #the fuckdd up thing is he was the one who taught me to have boundaries #he told me to tell my mom to eat a dick when shes egging on my eating disorder #he told me i didnt have to stick around when my mom was calling me slurs for breaking dishes or failing classes #and here he is being proud that he managed to get through an abuse victims boundaries #he also joked about waking up to the cops at his door #which like shows that deep down inside he knows what he did is wrong #and if i wasnt such a cool girl i could get him into trouble #not like cops here persecute rape anyways but #i pretended to like it after the fact because i still needed him to take me home and i didnt wanna start a fight #but holy shit #idk what to do... #i mean im going to leave him fuck the trip #im shaking i dont even know how ill be able to go to work tomorrow #when this whole thing was over me wanting to get a reasonable amount of sleep on a work night #misiabear rants

[link-lonk]

I need to stop going on Instagram it just makes me mad at this point

#radiostatic.txt #hate whatever is going on with the instagram algorithm because it only shows be stuff I don't want to see #''don't recommend me posts like this'' I say. ''ok'' says instagram. ''how about posts sorta like it but worse?'' #or ''hey I saw you liked this one cute post so like here's a bunch of ones kinda like that but they're going to male you want to scream'' #noooooooo! #today it was a post by some woman about how she feels guilty that she got her bunny spayed because now it'll never be a mom #like first off. IT'S A BUNNY. your bunny is not going to get depressed because it'll never experience childbirth or motherhood #second off. the cancer rate for unspayed female bunnies is EXTREMELY high. #Our vet said that it's almost guaranteed they'll get cancer by the time they turn 4/5 if they're not spayed #female bunnies also tend to be more aggressive/territorial and spaying them helps a lot with the hormones and such #there are literally no drawbacks to getting your bunny spayed. none. #it is something you have to do if you want your bunny to live a full healthy life #and like if you go take a look at rabbit shelters they're always full. #there are way more bunnies that need homes than there are homes to give them #there is no fucking reason to make your bunny get pregnant and have litter just so it can ''experience motherhood'' #IT'S A BUNNY. IT DOES NOT SHARE YOUR HUMAN VALUES ON MOTHERHOOD

[lightfulonion]

thank you @skijjiki for tagging me!!!! i love these types of tagging games so much!!

last song: Tokyo Calling by ATARASHII GAKKO! (pls watch the music video. its so good 😭) im kind of, sort of, obsessed with this and i have been listening to it non-stop like my life depends on it. anyway

fav color: hmm im really feeling brown right now (wow! that sounds awful! im not changing my answer tho. brown rules.)

currently reading: im able to read only fanfics at the moment because anything that involves a book and new characters feels like too much work for me for some reason and also like im cheating at my classes in university. both of these suck big butt and i hate being like this but it's true. anyway please read a million times along the way by starsqwub. its a bokuaka fic, it hasnt updated since 2022 and it made me cry every chapter. its about love, its about friends, its about being a weird person in a normal world and, more importantly, its about bokuto and akaashi. oh! also manga like chainsaw man and toilet bound hanako-kun!! and some webcomics as well too.

currently watching: the wall mostly but also dungeon meshi! and ive been trying to be up-to-date with the one piece anime!!

spicy/savory/sweet: sweet <3

relationship status: i was reading a bokuaka fic and i was crying. take a wild guess.

current obsessions: listening to Tokyo Calling and ATARASHII GAKKO! apparently and im starting to feel like reading the ending of Haikyuu!! which is probably a bad thing?? (im scared. i really dont want it to end :'((( )

tagging: @livingonyoghurtandspite, @horson, @clementinethekitten, @pierogish, @alcieside, @mars-matrix, @peachybeesplease, @mangatxt.

#get tagged #guys. we get (got?) the movie this year. really scared to ask whats next. #i had goofy funny things to share but i forgot them while writing this im sorry u_u #i went home to my mom for a few days and i had 'the end of the beginning' by djo stuck in my head the whole time #and i visited my friends from high school and im kinda sad about the years passing. a quiet kind of sad but sad nonetheless. #like 'my childhood room is too small for me now' kind of sad and nostalgic #i have many things in my brain that are rolling around like pointy rocks and i need to get them out somehow without hurting myself #anyway #pretend i said something really funny and truly profound here instead of. whatever that is. #also i have listened to ATARASHII GAKKO!'s whole discography and its really really good #and i STILL havent been able to read bnha!! :(( #i havent been able to be up-to-date with chainsaw man or toilet bound hanako kun and i also NEED to read dungeon meshi AND haikyuu and- #i really love dungeon meshi so far. its so good and i got so excited on the last episode when they put falin's bones in order. that was #so cool. and the bath scene............ yeah. #if you dont want to do this guys is okay btw. im always saying this but i do need you to know because i feel anxious when i dont do them bu #also when i dont tag people. i dont want you to feel like that. #onion talks #ok thats all! bye bye!! hope you have a nice day!!!!! #Youtube

[minglana]

watching tv in catalan is so trippy. why do they speak like that

#the tv accent sounds so fake to me.... #its always shocking when someone from the east comes here and speaks... wheres my beloved ɛ... when will she come back from war.... #it almost feels like a foreign language sometimes im not gonna lie ok. #im so detatched from the standard dialect and i only hear western accents that hearing bcn accent is like. ow. my ears #i dont have anything personal against eastern dialect speakers of course. its all just jokes. but it still shocks me to core every time lma #and to think that i spent so much time w my cousins as a kid that my mom said that in some words i had a bcn accent show through.... #z xarre

[guzmapkmn-archive]

Looming ominously. Good evening.

#cat.txt #hi ive been at work all day and im still here for 3 more hours </3 #hope everyone is doing ok #my day has. not been great but its ok #my boss said he is going to try to get me a raise bc i dont want to be a manager but im a good worker #so thats cool #i make 9/hr plus tips rn #so hopefully if thay happens my mom wont be as pushy abt me working more #bc ill be making more money #whis is why she wants me to work more

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

I FUCKING HATE MEDICAL FACILITIES!!!!!!!!!!

#GODDD WHY CAN NOTHING BE EASY #i call a place last weekend. im like hey i need a physical for work can you do that #yes we can! #awesome can i schedule an appointment #oh dont worry we take walk ins you dont need one #great! cool! #fast forward to this morning. i fucking hate doctors offices i hate thinking about them i hate going to them. #i psyche myself up for like an hour. i drive the 45 minutes to this place. i get inside hand them the paper tbe lady is like #super frustrated. doing that awful thing moms do where theyre like. doing things more forcefully than needed and sighing #she goes. we dont do this here. im like. oh well i called last weekedn and someone said i could come here #shes like. idk what to tell you we cant do this. im like ok do you have any suggestions for places that do. she says no. i leave. #i call like THREE DIFFERENT PLACES and all of them are like. lol you need a pcp. i dont have one of those yet. #head in hands. i just wasted two damn hours of my weekend for nothing AND NOW I HAVE TO GO GROVERY SHOPPING. i fucking #hate it here everything sucks im so mad. #i literally just need someone to go “yeah youre healthy” and sign a paper. thats IT

[soultiio]

grrr!! (scary)

#OKAY SO #izaya orihara #kyohei kadota #dotachin #they are kids here btw #kadota's mom said she could take both of them for halloween #trust me she told me herself #happy halloween #i know it's not halloween yet shh #also my sister said izaya looked like a dog i was going more for a werewolf but ok #durarara #my art

[wrecking]

ok i don't care i'm gonna be weird -- honestly very normal, just open -- in the tags

#d #r #tag buffer is that even tho my bf can't come over this weekend we're going to go out tmrw :) his mom offered yay #finally i get to leave the fucking house for an extended period of time how exciting #ok anyways uh #i'm definitely in my bi era in the sense that like. realizing just how down horrendous i can be for other tgirls #i like being the archetypal straight girl that just so happens to flirt with and be ok being a ''lesbo'' with other girls #like can i be entirely frank i went searching on here for orientation play stuff regarding straight girls and there was NOTHING... #but also like i kinda want a gf?? bf and i need to become the founders of the toxic polycule for georgia istg /s #i need more people to bite me. who said that #my period is ruining my fucking life i need to do bra measurements right now i can't take ''boymoding'' anymore #(i'm not really boymoding but i'm also not girlmoding) #quotes around l word are references to that one meme btw for context

[syxnewt]

sometimes my brain jumps to connections slightly too slow so by the time I saw my unrelated tangent my family can't follow the line I went to get there

#ok here is the story that inspired this vague post it happened just now #my brother jokingly said he wanted to go to some school in Alaska and my mom said he would do meth there because what else do you do in #alaska (her words) and my brother said “that's Colorado!” And I remembered that Wyoming had only two escalators because Colorado and Wyomin #are the same shape so I said both of those facts in order to keep my train of thought clear #but my brother thought I meant Alaska and my mom thought I said “same state” so it didn't work as intended

[arthur-r]

falling asleep worked i did it for three hours. now what i’m still tired i just also wasted the day and looked stupid to my roommate….

#like im glad i slept but also. same problems as before #although my french teacher emailed me back said i should go to office hours. which is a proper response to my email #wikipedia guy texted me back with details like an hour after i texted but also like two or three hours ago #gonna settle the score by bringing a $20 bill tomorrow then i won’t feel so weird and guilty #but no i feel so fucking stupid and gross for like. i was crying so close to my roommate so i had to fall asleep #or else i’d be standing up with tears in my eyes next to my roommate which is worse #but i just. i dont know. like he thinks i’m just lazy. i’m always asleep i never tell him why #i dont know. good morning i hope everyone is doing well #there are two people i usually get dinner with and one is out of town and the other i think his parents are here and also things are weird #translation things aren’t weird i’m just weird and feel guilty for being such a weird person #anyway i just. college?? what am i doing here???? #i talked to my mom this morning she says that she felt the same way during college and that she should have dropped out way earlier #which. not helpful?? what do i do after i drop out?? i am someone who can’t hold a normal part time job and my only HOPE is ending up being #i mean anything really just something that requires a lot of prior experience!! #and the college is paying me really good to go to school but only if i stay full time #so i cant just lower my course load because that will actually make everything worse instead of better #idk. going to french teachers office hours tomorrow and will figure out time for linguistics teacher too and will get my LIS grade back up #(that one is just simple that one is i missed two discussion posts but there are ten more to come and also tests and stuff. i’ll be ok) #idk. and i still want to go to my LIS teachers office hours and ask how he became professor of rare books print culture and information bias #that is a good set of things to be a scholar for. and he’s curating collections at the same time as being my teacher #so idk. professors don’t seem as stupid and uppity as they used to. and i think i want to do that someday #plus with the salary jump from librarian i can feasibly become a major donor to local libraries to keep that influence around shdhdf #(although. if i get paid by the school (!!) to get a phd in print culture who says i don’t become a fancy librarian with that??) #i dont know. this is so stupid because i get so excited about the prospects and then i go back to the present and i’m flunking out of school #my grades haven’t been this bad since the height of COVID i thought something about me had gotten better but apparently not #like literally who went and made me traumatized?? why did you have to do that?? now i can’t be a normal person?? shut up!!!! #idk. just feel like if i weren’t having panic attacks about the fact that people are safe and kind here (and therefore must be hiding their #true intentions and taking advantage of me) then maybe i would have remembered to take my french test #idk. i’m tired and want to go home. sorry for venting all day i hope everyone is doing okay #vent cw

[widevibratobitch]

i need to dye my hair i need to cut my hair i need to bleach my eyebrows again i need to shave them off completely i need to DO something i need CHANGE or ill go insane

#sorry im panicking for no reason whatsoever and need to do THINGS to my mortal body but like. #something that will not cause any actual harm because we dont do that here sir na-ah not anymore #also swinging a bat at the part of my brain that keeps telling me i need to lose weight because i liked my face better X kg ago #and also i need to step on the scale and check how much i weigh now cause what if ive put on weight since spring (i most definitely did) #also my mom keeps nagging me about going to that super great endocrinologist again but last time i went i told him i had an ED and he went #'yes very sad. anyway' and weighed me and told me the number anyway. but hey! he also said #'i have fatter patients than you its ok dw your situation isnt that bad we can concentrate on losing that weight later' so its cool :)))))) #(its not. im never fucking going there again id rather rip my whole thyroid out of my throat with my bare hands) #also i really want that rhinoplasty but more than a failed surgery im afraid of betraying my ideals lol #its much easier to be anti make up or anti plastic surgery or preach about self love and acceptance when you're naturally pretty lol #anyway. fucked up mental state rn idk why it was fine an hour ago kms